The Monogram Queen As I Live And Breathe!

Happy Days!

2009-07-06T08:24:00.002-04:00

Just a quick update from work, we are in the new house and I LOVE IT.

Did I mention I love my new house? Oh I do! I feel so at home. So much space, so new shiny and pretty. We have stuff to put away and a few more things to do.
Madison's ~~hellhole~~ room to set up and organize but we are getting there.

I have cooked a meal and done laundry and the pets are all settled in.
I know Stacy will be glad when he gets his shop built and Madison's playhouse settled in. The floor needs replacing but all in all we are snug and happy as bugs in a rug.

I miss you guys like crazy! Will have internet at home by week-end (should) and will update on F*acebook. I can post a little from my blackberry but i'm still woefully ignorant with it!

Hugs & Kisses from

A few-and-far-between Update

2009-06-22T06:52:00.000-04:00

Things continue to be okay!
I used the Ambien on vacation but will not take it in the future (I don't like to take too much medicine), have taken the Xanax sparingly but glad I have it when I need it!
Oak Island was wonderful but i'm sure it would have been better had I not been still adjusting to the Wellbutrin.
They say it takes really about two weeks to kick in. Mid-week this week will be two weeks. I am feeling better though.
We had a very nice Fathers Day as well.
My parents took Madison with them out to my sister's, it was her first time going anywhere with them WITHOUT me and she did fine.
Hopefully they will spend more time with her in the future and she will know her maternal grandparents better.
Wishing everyone a great week!
Summer is HERE! I am melting.................

Quick Update

2009-06-11T09:29:00.002-04:00

Since you've all been so supportive and uplifting during a VERY trying time I wanted to post quick update for those who haven't been on facebook.
I went to the doc yesterday and got Wellbutrin, Xanax and Ambien and I already feel better. I'm sure it's all in my mind but I do!
Yay I can put on my happy pants once again!

Have a few minutes to spare

2009-06-09T08:36:00.002-04:00

As I put on Facebook yesterday my new boss is nice, my desk is bigger than my old one... but I am so freaking out of sorts.
I have GOT to get on some medicine. I don't care what anyone says. This feeling down in the dumps for no reason is bullsh*t and i've prayed and i've tried to talk myself out of it but it's just not working.
Everything feels like it is crushing me s-l-o-w-l-y and I know this isn't a normal feeling.
I am supposed to be happy and looking forward to my week at Oak Island next week, instead I am stressing because my parents won't watch the dog (Why - I don't know), Stacy is grumbling because we are taking him (he is a terrible begger when you are eating) and I want to drive my car but we were going to take the golf cart and Madison's VW Bug and our own Grill. Gah!!!! Why can't things be easy for me? Just once!

I've been promising pics of my IRL blog meetings so...

2009-06-01T05:56:00.000-04:00

I have a little time on this Sunday evening so I thought i'd share what few pics I have of my visit with Disgruntled Daisy and her sweet SO Manblogger back in April at Myrtle Beach!

We had an uninvited guest at dinner, Finn McCool's which was very laid back and very good. Man bought our dinner - again many thanks sweet guy! (oh and for those who aren't familiar with southern wildlife - this is a raccoon or a 'coon!) They are terrible scavengers!

Man watches as Daisy tries her hand at peeling boiled shrimp

The girls thought they were SO grown-up at their OWN table!

Our hotels shared a waterpark, much enjoyed by the guys and the kids. Daisy and I just lounged around and kept the cabana boy busy ;) Here an unsuspecting Brittany is about to get nailed by the HUGE bucket! Man braved it - he said it was COLD!

Daisy, Me & Manblogger

The night-time view of the pool from our balcony. Isn't it beautiful! The ocean is just off to the left, that is a sound I love to hear at night. Sooooo soothing.

Stacy & Man, I can't wait until we go on vacation with them again in October. The four of us really hit it off!

Me & Daisy, the first second we began to talk it was as if i'd known her my whole life. I truly love these two people - they are just like long-distance family!

Thank you for the opportunity to spend some time at the Beach (something I can never get enough of) and can't wait for Savannah in October!

Wow it's Hump Day!

2009-05-27T06:47:00.000-04:00

My day actually went by quickly yesterday because I was in training and I know it's early but I think I will like my job. I like the idea of helping people keep their homes (and to quote *gulp* our ex-Prez) being the "decider"

My nerves are still hanging by a shred because I just can't get the time to see my stupid Doctor (I called today and he is on vacation next week with nothing free this week) I know I need meds to help me feel more like my old self, the therapist even said so, I just wish I knew she couldn't write prescriptions before I picked her because really, I need drugs not just alot of TALK.
I don't really know what i'll do - except flip out and end up in Mcleod at the psych ward if something doesn't give soon because I really don't know how much longer I can take this emotional see-saw I am on.
Just pray for me. That is all i'm going to get right now it looks like.

Blue on Friday?

2009-05-22T07:54:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling a little blue this morning....
Woke up at 5 a.m. dog was trapped in Madison's room and wanted out. I let him outside for a few minutes then got a load of Madison's clothes going, then went back to bed for a whopping 45 minutes.

Stacy took us to Redbone Alley last night and it was just the best! Food was good, Madison played around the play area and on the ice cream truck but she also actually SAT AT THE TABLE WITH US and colored. This is something she NEVER does.
I just could kick myself because I stupidly ordered desert thinking one of them would help me eat it and most of it got wasted. Lesson learned.

A group I recently discovered through a song I absolutely ADORE (Bartender Song - Rehab) will be performing in Florence tonight and I dont' have anyone to go with me. Stacy and Madison are going to Summerville but he hasn't been down in WEEKS so I don't begrudge him that at all. Y'all think i'm joking when I say I don't have any IRL friends but I don't. My family isn't always that reliable either.

Speaking of reliable my niece is supposed to pay me her second car payment today (she paid a half one in April) so we'll see how THAT goes. If it's not the right amount I am probably going to hit.the.ceiling. Pray for me.

Blog Tapas

2009-05-19T07:42:00.003-04:00

Got some "little things" on the mind ... hence the title!

I REALLY need to go straight home and download pics from my camera. They are NOT going to download themselves! :)

I dreamed I went to NY&Co last night and my capris were GONE. Thanks Bella for putting that idea in my head :) (I know, it's a chance you take when you don't buy at first sighting!)

If Squirrel (who sits beside me) doesn't stop her snotting, snorting and sneezing I just might hold her down and shove a Benadryl up her nose.

I am tired of people ragging on Brett Favre, it is his life, his career and no one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to read anything regarding him, listen or watch hin on TV/radio, buy his merchandise or go see him play. In part, YOUR whining helps keep him relevant. Get over it. He's news.

Read about the 60-something (66?) year old woman who is pregnant. At first I thought "Is this woman nuts?" then I thougth "I don't walk in her shoes". Personally I felt that 38 was a bit late to be having MY first and only child but that is the way God dealt me the cards. Although I had no fertility drugs, IVF or anything like that.... but that was MY choice.

Only 3 more days and I am on to my new job! Okay, technically because it is barely 8 a.m. it's more like 4 but we'll just say 3 to make me happy. You can't imagine how good it feels to know I will be out of the bullsh*t rat-race I have worked in for the past 2+ years. It looks even more ridiculous to me this week. I just shake my head and tell myself "NEXT week I won't be dealing with THIS any more". Hopefully I won't have to work with the majority of these people EVER again. There are two or three I genuinely like - the rest. Meh.

Okay I hope you got your fill of (as I look back it looks mostly negative? :( !)

Too Much Time On My

2009-05-18T14:01:00.004-04:00

Okay you all know how it is in your last week at a job, you do what you can, clean out and discard but still I have time so I said "heck I might just blog every day this week"...!

If I ever get busy and download my pics from Daisy & Man's visit I will blog further about that, then I need to download the few pics I took of Bella's visit.

Y'all will not believe it but I have no pics of Madison's recital.
All because I was so FREAKING busy doing costume changes. She had FIVE. Seriously.
I handled it like a trouper, no post-Paxil meltdowns or screaming or impatience. Not a bit.
All this despite my own jitters over my end of show dance debut.
I'm not angling for a gold medal.... or even a pat on the back.
What I WOULD like is......
1) a pedi/eyebrow wax.
2) cute pair of (cheap) roll-up capris I saw a NY&CO when Bella and I were there Friday.
3) Cookies from the Mall.

Unfortunately these things will have to wait until maybe the week-end because my fun-ds are all funded out but I get paid this Friday - yippee!!!

In other good news Stacy met with the mortgage broker today and gave her the hard docs she needs and things are looking GREAT. She said the only thing that will mess things up are if any of the inspections fail or the property doesn't appraise right.
Seriously this is a year and a half old house so I think it will inspect okay and if not I believe the sellers would make things right. AND they are selling it for over $20,000 LESS than market value.

Good Morning

2009-05-15T07:12:00.001-04:00

Well what do you know? A post from "she-who-no-longer-blogs"!
I had to write and let you know that Bella arrived safely last night. Her plane was right on time and we were out of that airport in no time at all just yakking away.
So much so, that I almost took a wrong turn going out of the airport - imagine that! :)
I plan on blogging about her visit (with her permission) and I also would like to blog about my recent visit with Disgruntled Daisy & Manblogger (complete with pics) with their permission also.
I hope life is treating everyone well.
I still have good days and bad days - but don't we all?
I will be glad to get Madison's recital over with tomorrow. Our practice last night did not exactly go "smoothly". Ha! All in good fun, though, all in good fun.
Have a fabby week-end - and try not to be TOO jealous of me & BellaLouWho living it up in the Carolinas!

Could It Happen??????

2009-05-05T12:50:00.003-04:00

You all know I love Brett Favre with the fervor of a squirrel trapped in a nut factory but Minnesota?!
Although it would KILL me, yes - i'd run right out and buy the Favre Vikes Jersey.
OMG how could I EVER face my BIL? He would never ever let me live this down - EVER!

**P.S. If you don't like Favre, think he's washed up etc.. etc.. etc.. save it.
I really don't care to hear about it ok?

Quickie Update

2009-05-04T11:05:00.002-04:00

I got the job I interviewed for in a bigger/better Department at Ch*se!!!!!
I will start at the end of this month...........
also we put in a contract on a new house and our closing date is May 29th (but you know how those things can go) so maybe, just maybe my fortunes are turning around. All the prayers and positive thoughts have really helped.
Thank You a million trillion times over for sticking with me, encouraging me for BEING THERE FOR ME.
I have dance practice tonight and my last Final tomorrow but maybe i'll pop on here late tonight and of course on F*cebook!!!!
My face is getting tired of smiling but oh how it's such a GOOD tired!!!!!
*** p.s. i'm waiting until Stacy picks me up at lunch to tell him so I HOPE he doesn't somehow look on here and read this and get offended :(

Short One

2009-05-01T08:58:00.002-04:00

Just a short post to let you know i'm still alive!
Believe me, some days that is quite an accomplishment!
I will be back on facebook at home but will be very busy in the upcoming weeks with some other things too (good things if all goes well).
Please send up a prayer or good thoughts or whatever positive thing you do, that "something" goes well for me today, and that I get money from two areas I am counting on.
Please know I think about and miss your blogs every day but it will be impossible to do from work anymore. Probably even less surreptitiously than i've been doing but hey, get on Facebook! :)
Some things did not go as planned so I have a shaky week-end ahead, just me and Madison because I think my family is just tired of my problems and want to go on with their own agendas and that's okay. Unless you walk in someone's shoes you don't really "know" what they are going through and it's so easy to think "just get over it". I hope I am more empathetic through this experience.
Have a great week-end - see you on facebook!

I Know I'm Not Supposed To Be Blogging but......

2009-04-28T07:04:00.000-04:00

I just had to say despite these being some of the darkest days i've faced yet (I am going to see somebody as soon as I can get an appointment in place) I had the BEST time meeting (Disgruntled Daisy and Manblogger at Myrtle Beach. They are the nicest, most genuine people you would ever want to know and i'm sure we will get to meet up again very soon!!!!!!!!! Thank you again for dinner, Man!

Also... if someone you love is suffering from emotional problems etc. PLEASE for the love of the tiny baby Jesus do not tell them "TRY to have a good day" or "Don't be crabby etc.". It's not a CHOICE we can make. We cannot help it. Trust me, no one would CHOOSE to feel like I do. It's like being at the bottom of a black pit and you just hang on and try to keep your head above the sludge.
What CAN you do, do you ask? Please be VERY VERY mindful not to do things that you know or possibly think may annoy your partner. If you have small children, try to run interference with them. Most of all do NOT do things you KNOW annoy your partner.
That is it for today. :)
I know I won't be able to blog from work, in fact b*ss is in now - so - gotta run! You can always email me at work (and please no jokes/forwards at work, just a reminder).
Big Hugs To You All!

It was nice while it lasted........

2009-04-14T12:05:00.002-04:00

Due to personal circumstances I am going to have to stop blogging. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am for the friendships I've made on here.
They may not be "real" to some people but you have been there for me a hell of a lot more than some "In Real Life" folks have.
Wishing you the best and Happy Trails to you :)

Easter 2009

2009-04-13T04:48:00.000-04:00

I have a LOT of Easter pics to share but I thought i would start with these.
Easter afternoon I took Madison to the Park to get some shots in her little polka dot pillowcase dress. I didn't realize all of the azaleas had already bloomed but i'm happy with the shots I got anyway! Not bad for my little kodak easyshare :)

This gazebo has hosted many a wedding :)

I love her peeking around the bushes in the pathway!

I'll ignore the goofy grin but hey - it's pure Madison!

She had to kneel over and peer in at the tadpoles. This is the same pond our Basset Hound "Flash" fell in while I had him on an excusion when Stacy and I were first married. Madison found that VERY funny. I thought it was an unusual shot.

Although there are many benches strewn throughout the park, this is the only white wrought iron one.

This is one of my favorite shots. I really got pretty lucky with the lighting!

I like the greenery against the gazebo in this one (and her bare tootsies!)

This one I told her to just walk toward me, I like the shadows and contrast but it's a bit TOO light... still I like it.

I could not "fix" the glare on this one, maybe if I had photoshop or something fancy but I did love the flowers in it anyway!

This was one of my favorites also.

Yes i'm terribly biased I think she is such a pretty little girl and her personality matches her looks perfectly. She's a sassy, cutie pie! More pics this week, of her finding her basket and our dyeing eggs Friday evening. Oh, I know you can't wait! LOL
Hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday!

Happy Easter Everyone!

2009-04-12T07:54:00.002-04:00

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, it will be in the high 70's today!
Just a beautiful, beautiful day!
Have you heard?....

and we are so blessed!

Friday! Friday!

2009-04-10T04:15:00.001-04:00

Even I am sick to death of being so freaking crazy/depressed etc. So I can only imagine what the rest of you are feeling. I don't blame you if you avoid my blog!

I am battling some really heavy dark things but i'll be okay. I know alot of others have been there and made it through and so will I, because I do not walk alone.

Phillipians 4:4-7 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".

I posted something on facebook, it refers to one of my favorite poets:
Dylan Thomas -
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light

Yes I am aware it is a poem about death but I think it is a beautiful poem nonetheless.
I wish you all a wonderful Good Friday right on into Easter Sunday.

This is one of the biggest reasons that I will never let the darkness overtake me.

Hippity Hoppity Easters On It's Way!

2009-04-09T04:13:00.000-04:00

Okay, Okay I know I pull out this same cartoon every year but I can't help it! I love it! It never fails to put a huge grin on my face!
Someone inevitably sends me the one of the two chocolate bunnies where ones tail is bitten off and the others ears are bitten off and the one says "My butt hurts" and the other says "What???!!!". Cute, but nowhere near the dyed egg one. That is an Oscar among Easter cartoons in my book!

Can I just say i'm glad i'm off today too because this Easter Bunny is t-i-r-e-d.
I was off yesterday and spent all day long running here and there and everywhere. I had to go to Lamar to pick up Madison's easter dress. The one I ordered at the Egg Scramble. Specifically commenting several times on the little girl running around wearing the pattern I wanted and ordered. Is that the pattern she presented me with? NO. I'm still shaking my head over it but alls well that ends well.

I finished up the Easter Baskets. That is always a slight chore because Madison just doesn't like candy much so I have to improvise.
Then i'm mad about her messiness and think "I'm not buying her that, she will just strew it around the livingroom" then I have to back up and say "Wait, wait, hold up. It's not about whether she's neat or what she does with it, it's about making her up a great Easter Basket. Take a chill pill lady". and I do!
Stacy is not really hard. I don't buy him alot of candy but I know what he likes. My main problem is his favorite Nascar driver isn't Mr. Popularity and it's hard to find his stuff. I did manage to get him something but I wish I could have done better. I even went to the Darlington Raceway Giftshop and the lady LAUGHED AT ME when I told her whose merchandise I was looking for. I think I did okay. If I can manage to find anything else between now and Easter -fine but at least he's got a basket!
Does anyone else do a Basket for their SO or just kids? My Momma made me a basket right up until I got married and a few years ago Stacy took up the mantle and made me one. That really meant alot to me. I am the kind of person who wholeheartedly believes in Christmas Stockings, Easter Baskets and whooping it up on Birthdays!
I have his Fathers Day Gift all planned out now I just need to plan when i'm going to get it and where i'm going to keep it.
My this is a long and rambling blog post. I hope you are still awake! If you made it this far YOU deserve a few Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs as a reward!
Hope the Bunny is good to you all!

The Monogram Queen (almost) goes to Jail

2009-04-08T04:09:00.003-04:00

or how I fought the law and the law did NOT win!

On the first of March I was going through the small ~~armpit~~ town of Society Hill, South Carolina.
I was horrified to see a flashing blue light in my rearview mirror. Being I had not owned the Charger a week, I was a bit ~~hyperventilating~~ anxious about getting stopped. I knew I was NOT speeding

The ~~dirty bastard~~ nice officer said I disregarded a stop sign and wrote me a ticket for a big fat four points / $250 fine.
I did not mind so much paying the fine but the four points - they would have adversely affected my driving record and caused my car insurance to go up! up! and away!
Happily the Monogram Queen's niece works for the Darlington County Sheriff's Office (she is just starting out and goes through the academy in June) and besides that, I know a few people in high places. (I AM a Queen, you know).
Talked to a few people and promptly forgot about said ticket, knowing it would get taken care of.
Fast forward to Sunday evening April 5th. I called my niece to ask when the court date was. She informed me it was Monday April 6th. Oh.Shit.
I hadn't got the "official" word that it was taken care of, it was too late to really get in touch with anybody (except family - you can call them ANY time) so I would have to go to court in the ~~armpit of a~~ town called Society Hill.
I was seriously perturbed by these events and very worried I would lose my shit arguing with the ~~dirty bastard~~ nice policeman who wrote me my ticket. I went to the courthouse and ran into a guy I went to school with. I explained the events and how our friend had talked to the Police Chief and my schoolmate went inside and popped out a minute later saying "Everything is cool, you can go".
Whew. Relief. I grabbed him and kissed him on the cheeck and went on my merry way.
Oh as I was leaving I saw the ~~dirty bastard~~ nice policeman. I did allow myself a small smirk at him.

Day by Day

2009-04-07T03:56:00.000-04:00

I guess that's how i'm going to have to take this thing ...
The worst of the side-effects from the paxil withdrawal are over.
I don't quite feel so "outside of myself" as I did, not quite so strange (no giggling in the cheap seats there - I see you!)
but I am still battling some nausea in the morning (I take one "less drowsy" Dramamine tablet) which helps.
The mood swings.
Dear Sweet, Tiny Baby Jesus - the mood swings.
I experience such feelings of anger - of RAGE. It is quite scary. Thankfully I am very conscious of it and try my best to reign it in.
Frankly I don't want to be a bitch to my husband or scream at my child constantly.
I have explained in a nice way what i'm going through and that is all I can do.
If I feel it getting out of hand I go take a bath or just remove myself from the surroundings.
I do think only time will make it better. Oh and I do pop a half a Tranzine when it's especially bad. They are a big help.
I took my last Paxil on Thursday and was going to only take them every two days but yesterday I realized "Hey it's my day to take a pill and I think I can go without one". Last week I was counting the minutes, literally, until I could take the next pill.
I does seem to be getting better. Thank you for all of your kind words and support.
My big sis has been a godsend also.
She has been right there for me and didn't even go hide in the car in embarassement when I would get "testy" at the Egg Scramble Jamboree!
Tomorrow, maybe, i'll blog about how I almost ended up in a monogrammed jail jumpsuit.
Good times, I tell ya - good times!

Sing With Me Now

2009-04-06T03:22:00.002-04:00

This Little Light O' Mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine
Let is shine ....

I had my moments this week-end...
but I can do it.
I will prevail.
I will.

Happy Happy Birthday to my dear friend Bella!

Cookie Love

2009-04-03T04:32:00.001-04:00

I am truly convinced these......

could be used to promote world peace - they are THAT good! (or somebody slipped Crack in them somehow).
What is your favorite type of GS cookie?
And - if you are one of those freaks who don't like GS cookies (or sweets) I don't wanna know about it!
Yes i'm hating :P (but only cos' i'm a fellow freak who would step on puppies and kittens and push little old ladies out of the way to get to the last box of GS cookies available).
joking..... (I SWEAR!)

I'm not magic!

2009-04-02T07:32:00.002-04:00

I have NO idea how I posted early but somehow I did. Maybe Blogger was playing an April Fool on me? hehe.....
My side-effects on the Paxil are getting better I take a pill today then for the first time i'll go TWO days without one so we'll see how that goes. At least it will be over the week-end. I'm thinking though, really, the worst is behind me.
Stacy had a very nice birthday and only two more days in the workweek!
Life is good

S. H. I. T. (so happy it's Thursday!)

2009-04-02T05:34:00.000-04:00

Here is the Monogram Queen sitting beside her (hehe) "Big" Brother at my Mom's birthday cookout on Sunday.
I valiantly tried to eat because there was so much good stuff but Sunday was a REALLY bad day for me (hence the sunglasses and mode of dress).
I really wish I had dressed up more as this is the first time in a LONG time all five of us siblings have been together but ... Dad's birthday is the end of April so maybe i'll get a do-over.
Thanks for all of the kind words, things are slowly getting better.

Oh and I must must MUST share this. I have been with the "Snoopy" Insurance Company for over ten years and checked into the "Gecko" company several years ago and was not impressed.
Well, since they have booted those annoying-as-hell cavemen from their commercials and added the cute money with eyeballs (as well as the COOL 80's theme song by Rockwell ~~ "Somebody's Watching Me"~~) I decided to give them another look-see. Since adding the super ultra-bad CHARGER to my car insurance it went up - significantly but when I checked the Gecko Company yesterday, I will save over $200 A MONTH. Yep, i've already made the switch. For the same coverage I had with "Snoopy".
Good-Bye Snoopy - it's was wonderful while it lasted!