Everything And Nothing

Saturday Wordzzle # 91

2009-11-28T06:00:00.002Z

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Here's my efforts

Words for this week's 10-word challenge are: edge, haven, sunglasses, sprightly, telling, frazzled, juicy, quartet, tied, necklace

Within an hour of arriving at the Coconut Haven Resort David had donned his sunglasses and was soothing his frazzled nerves with a glass of rum punch, whilst listening to the quartet that were playing at the pool bar. Reaching for a juicy peach from the bowl on the bar he bit into it as he surveyed the people idling round the pool. He noticed an elderly lady returning to her sun lounger from the aerobics class and thought how sprightly she was, he also noticed the huge diamond necklace she was wearing.

Somehow David and Dorothy (the diamond woman ) were seated together at breakfast and before long Dorothy was telling him her life story and they got on like a house on fire. Three days later David was knocking on Dorothy’s door to escort her down to dinner when he discovered the door was open. Gingerly he pushed it open further and discovered Dorothy tied to the radiator, gagged and bound. He quickly untied her and picking up the phone he dialed reception asking them to call the police. Dorothy managed to tell him that she had opened the door to a knock thinking it was him and a masked man had knocked her off her feet, tied her up and stolen her jewelry from the safe, which had been open because she had been choosing which jewelry to wear. David admonished her saying “I told you to keep your jewelry in the hotel safe!”

He soothed Dorothy’s shattered nerves and accompanied her to the police station, thankfully she wasn’t hurt but she was very shaken and insisted the hotel arrange a flight home for her that day. The jewelry was insured so she wasn’t too upset, it could be replaced she told David and she insisted on taking him to a jewelers to buy him an expensive watch for rescuing her, before she left. David told her it wasn’t necessary but she insisted so he accepted the gift with good grace.

After waving goodbye to Dorothy at the airport David returned to the hotel and took up his place at the pool bar. The barman slid a glass of rum punch across the bar said

“You’re losing your edge David, those diamonds were fake but you still did well at least you got an expensive watch out of it!”

And for the mini: bees, crackling, wooden, staple, earful

Martin cautiously approached the wooden hive wearing the staple beekeepers hat and suit. He was aware of the crackling noise of the veil as he moved and he tried desperately to keep calm about the bees buzzing round his head. Eventually he completed his tasks and was able to remove the beekeeper’s garb. He looked at his supervisor and asked “Did I do OK?”

“Well you didn’t check that the veil was down properly and had this been the real thing instead of a simulation you would have ended up with an earful of bees!”

Megawordzzle

Maggie was a sprightly pensioner; she refused to wear the stereotypical pearl necklace and twinset, instead opting for cutting edge fashion and sunglasses with everything. She had moved into sheltered accommodation at Sunny Haven and had shaken the peace and tranquility of the place as soon as she’d arrived. The first people she had wound up were the quartet of women who virtually ran the place because they’d been there so long. They were like bees buzzing around into everyone’s business, their voices crackling through the corridors as they gossiped about the other residents. It wasn’t long before their noses were firmly out of joint as Maggie took over.

Organisation was Maggie’s forte, she had been an events organizer before she retired and within a couple of weeks of arriving at Sunny Haven she had set up weekly exercise classes and workshops on everything from tiedyeing to making wooden toys. She was horrified when she discovered the residents’ staple diet was sandwiches, as they couldn’t be bothered cooking, so she worked tirelessly until arrangements were made for them to get a proper cooked lunch every day in the common room and a supply of juicy fruit whenever they wanted it. Maggie was always on the telephone to someone giving them an earful about what was needed, telling them that she wanted whatever it was NOW not in a month’s time. She never looked frazzled and the other residents marveled at how she was always on the go.

Life was such much better at Sunny Haven since Maggie’s arrival, everyone agreed, except the quartet. They wouldn’t join in any of the activities and complained about everything Maggie did. Maggie tried to make friends with them and include them, she suggested they form a committee but they wouldn’t hear of it.

When one of the more senior residents, Bill, passed away it came to light that he had no family to take care of his funeral arrangements and no money either with which to pay. The quartet were terribly upset about the situation as they had had known Bill for many years and really liked him. Reluctantly it was to Maggie they turned asking if she knew if there was any way a decent funeral could be arranged for him. Maggie sorted everything out and Bill got a decent send off with all his friends from Sunny Haven attending, she had even arranged a sit down meal for everyone after the funeral. From then on the quartet thought Maggie was wonderful with all her contacts and know-how and were falling over each other to join her committee. From then on things just got better and better and Maggie was in her element.

What they didn’t know was that Maggie wasn’t short of money, she had been married to a very wealthy man and inherited enough money to keep her comfortably for the rest of her life, after he died. She only lived at Sunny Haven for the company because she had no family. They also didn’t know, and they never would, that she had paid for Bill’s funeral herself. Maggie was happy again.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 98 Outcasts

2009-11-27T06:00:00.000Z

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Outside they huddled together for warmth, taking comfort in each other.

Feeling like outcasts, lepers, exiles, shunned, degraded.

Forever to be evicted from comfort and companionship.

No longer part of the accepted crowd, group, mainstream.

Since 'the law' had been passed they were destined to be outsiders, uncomfortable, cold, oppressed, abused.

All because they smoke!

I haven't smoked for 12 years but I do feel sorry for smokers now, especially in the pub when they have to go outside to enjoy a cigarette with their drink. The 'no smoking' law has killed the pub trade here, yet another one of our locals is due to close.

A man's view.........

2009-11-25T06:00:00.000Z

I received this 'sexist' email but it did make me laugh so I'll share it with you as we had one for the ladies on Monday.

A man's view of women over 40.......

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you! Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

The Next Survivor Series.......

2009-11-23T06:00:00.000Z

I realised after reading this email someone sent me that I'm superwoman!

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry and pay a list of'pretend bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives and send cards out on time, no Emailing. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the A&E. He must also make biscuits or cakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them,brush their teeth and comb their hair by 8:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up. All the above must be completed whilst working in either full time(preferably) or part time employment to assist in the financial input for the family.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. The winning man gets to play the game overand over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mum!

Saturday Wordzzle # 90

2009-11-21T06:00:00.000Z

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Here's my efforts

Words for this week's 10-word challenge are: love is a many splendored thing, trucks, inspector, symbols, rising, organic, liberation, costly, smug, naughty

Inspector Williams examined the rising sun symbols which had been carved into the skin on the body, which had just been discovered in the flat. There were model trucks on the floor suggesting a child had been playing but there was no-one else in the flat. ‘Love is a many splendored thing’ was playing on the radio and Inspector Williams wondered if this had been a lover’s tiff which had turned into a costly ending for the woman. A search of the rest of the house revealed no clues – a fridge full of organic food, some naughty underwear in a drawer and a poster proclaiming ‘Liberation for Nepal’. Williams roared at the SOCO team “Find a clue, any clue, I will solve this case!”

“Smug git” whispered one of the team under his breath.
“Cut” shouted the director “that’s a wrap!”

And for the mini: the nature of the beast, identical, charcoal, braggart, vacation

Identical twins John & Edward Braggart ‘s vacation wasn’t going to plan. The nature of the beast was that they were both suffering from abominable wind and there were no charcoal tablets to be had for love nor money. Consequently they were confined to their room, so as not to embarrass their parents and offend other guests.

Megawordzzle

James, the customs inspector, stood waiting patiently at the port with a smug look on his face. He really enjoyed his job, stopping vehicles as they came off the ferry, especially the trucks, hoping they had some contrabrand. He was a braggart, constantly telling all who would listen how many people he has seen prosecuted due to his vigilance. His friends thought him too zealous and found his bragging too much at times.

Waving for the truck to pull over, James marched across to ask for the paperwork and was surprised to see a very attractive young woman driving. The young woman smiled at James as she handed over the necessary paperwork, James couldn’t take his eyes off her; he could feel his temperature rising, amongst other things, such was the nature of the beast. All the time James was checking the papers the woman watched him, her charcoal eyes holding his gaze.

“Please open the back doors” James requested “so I can check the contents”.
She jumped down from the cab and opened the doors of the truck. The contents were identical crates which were all marked ‘ORGANIC’ and with various symbols painted on them. James jumped in the truck to count the number of crates whilst the woman leant on the side humming ‘love is a many splendored thing’. James was getting really hot and bothered and he went to get down from the truck the woman moved so that he had to brush up against her to get out. He blushed and apologized but the woman just laughed and gave him a naughty wink. James signed the papers and told the woman she could go on her way. She climbed back in her cab and blew him a kiss as she drove away.
Twenty miles down the motorway the woman pulled into the services and opened the back of the truck.

“OK, you can come out now” she said as she opened one of the crates. The man crawled from the crate and stretched his cramped body glad for the liberation.

“That was no vacation, believe me! It was a good idea of yours to hum that song for as long as the inspector was in the truck, so I would know to keep quiet. Do you think he suspected anything?” he asked.

“Yes he did” said one of the police officers who had surrounded the truck. “He noticed one of the crates wasn’t marked up the same as the others and called us in to follow you. Rather a costly mistake for you. You’re both under arrest.

James had triumphed again!

I won't be around to visit you today as I'm our all day (and night) celebrating my birthday, so I'll catch up with you on Sunday. Have a great weekend everyone.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 97 Gilbert's Missing.....

2009-11-20T06:00:00.000Z

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

"Gilbert's missing" said Joan to Harry.

"Check the gardens, I'll go to No25 first, he likes rabbits" said Harry.

"May I see your rabbit please?" Harry asked Mrs 25.

"Oh bugger" thought Harry......

when he saw the distinct shape of a rabbit inside Gilbert,

who was coiled and asleep, in the bottom of the rabbit's cage.

Tell me........

2009-11-18T06:00:00.000Z

How did this little girl....

Get to be 60 years old today!

Where the F*** did the last 55 years go??????

Portrait Of Words # 21

2009-11-17T06:00:00.001Z

This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now every two weeks and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.

The challenge is you are given a number of pictures and must use some/all of the pictures to create a story.

Emilio lived with his wife, Juanita, and their daughter, Rosario, in the tiny colonial town of Cuetzalan, nestled in the hills of Mexico's central state of Puebla. From the window of their tiny house they could see the hills shrouded in mist.

Emilio’s days were spent farming the bright red tomatoes and beans, which Juanita and Rosario sold at the weekly market, dressed in their traditional white embroidered blouses and white skirts with red sashes. It was a meager existence but they were happy spending Sunday’s together picnicking in the open air, after the obligatory visit to the beautiful village church in the morning.

Rosario attended the local school and was considered a star pupil because she excelled at her studies and also had a unique gift for singing and dancing. Her teacher, Gabriela, was a city girl who had taken the post in the little town to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life, but she could see great potential in Rosario and encouraged her to improve her skills. Gabriela heard of a show that was being put on in the City, the producers of which were looking for new talent and were holding auditions, Gabriela thought it would be the perfect opportunity for Rosario to show what she could do and perhaps escape the poverty in which she was living. She spoke to Rosario about the auditions but Rosario was unsure, so Gabriela offered to speak to her parents about it. Juanita and Emilio were skeptical at first but Gabriela assured them she would take Rosario herself and look after the girl, like she was her own sister. After much persuasion Juanita and Emilio agreed to let the girl go.

The day arrived and Emilio and Juanita waited at the bus stop to see their daughter and the teacher board the bus, to what maybe a new life for Rosario. Rosario shed a tear as she kissed her mother and father goodbye, it was possibly only for a couple of nights but on the other hand if she passed the audition it would be for much longer. It was the first time Rosario had been away from home and it was a great adventure. She clutched her small carpet bag with the few things her mother and father had been able to get together for her and Gabriela had very kindly dipped into her savings to make sure Rosario had a few toiletries and a couple of changes of presentable clothes.

The journey was a long one and Rosario enjoyed how the scenery changed from the mountains to plains, as they neared their destination. By the time they reached the city Rosario was really tired and Gabriela took them straight to her parent’s home where they were going to stay until after the audition, which was the following day. Rosario was too excited to sleep so Gabriela took her on a sightseeing tour, Rosario thought the city was wonderful and literally had to be forced back to the house by Gabriela

The day of the audition arrived and Gabriela took Rosario to the theatre where the auditions were being held, they had to queue with hundreds of other hopefuls but Rosario enjoyed talking to the others. Eventually it was Rosario’s turn and she performed like she never had before, wowing the producer who immediately declared “She’s the one” to his aide. Rosario was asked to stay behind with a number of other hopefuls until the producer had seen everyone, then he came to talk to them.

Those who had been asked to stay behind were asked to perform again and after the second audition Rosario was called into another room where the producer offered her the leading part. He enthused about how talented she was and explained that she would be looked after, living in luxury compared to her home and how she could send money home to her parents.

“This is a great opportunity for you Rosario” said Gabriela “what do you say?”

“Nah, I want to go home” said Rosario.

The Koala and the Lizard......

2009-11-16T06:00:00.001Z

Someone sent me this and I thought you might enjoy it.......

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,

'Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude...

How much water did you drink!?'

Saturday Wordzzles # 89

2009-11-14T06:00:00.000Z

Words for this week's 10-word challenge are: officer, candid, drowning, turtles, sugar-coated, prospecting, shame on you, recliner, luggage, brains

“Here, have one of these sugar coated turtles” said Albert to his wife, who was sitting in the recliner reading a magazine on prospecting.

“Shame on you Albert, you know I’m on a diet!” said Alice.

“Don’t you be worrying about those luggage handles, I love ‘em” said Albert candidly.

“You mean ‘Love Handles’ Albert, get your brains in gear” laughed Alice.

“Whatever” said Albert, suddenly startled by a knock on the door.

“That’ll be the police officer who said he’d call to take your statement about the accidental drowning of your ex wife” said Alice. “By the way, when are we moving into her house on the Klondike?”

And for the mini: paragon of virtue, cats-in-the-cradle, swamp, sprinkles, garbage

Smokey was licking the sprinkles from baby’s chin.
He’d waited until mother took the garbage out to the bin.
“The cat’s in the cradle again” mother cried
“A paragon of virtue you told me, you lied
When you asked me to take it in from the cold,
Take it back to the swamp where it belongs!”

Megawordzzle

Ali ‘Sprinkles’ Cordell, the lead singer with the group, ‘Sugar Coated Turtles’ had a magical quality that endeared her to everyone who heard her sing, and so the group had been signed with one of the biggest labels in the recording industry. The group were on tour after the release of their first album, ‘Recliner’. Being from Louisiana they sang mostly ‘Swamp Pop’ but their first hit had been a cover version of the folk/rock song ‘Cats in the Cradle’, which had gone straight to number one. The tour was a great success and they had become good friends with their support band ‘Paragons of Virtue’.

Sprinkles was in love with the lead singer from ‘Paragons of Virtue’, whom she likened to Richard Gere. He looked nothing like Richard Gere but she thought he had brains and he reminded her of the part Richard Gere played in ‘Officer and a Gentleman’. Well that was until he left her drowning in tears.

Picking up his bag he told her candidly “I don’t want to be tied down, I was just prospecting honey” before walking away.

“Shame on you” Sprinkles railed. “You belong in the garbage can, you rat!”

And so Sugar Coated Turtles’ new hit single was born -

‘He Walked Away From Love With Just His Luggage’.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 96 The Visitor

2009-11-13T06:00:00.001Z

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

He walked past without a second glance

Three days on the trot now.

She missed his visits, he usually called every day.

She jumped as she heard the click of the gate as it opened.

He hurried up the path, waving to her.

At last, she thought...

As he posted the mail through her letterbox.

Remembrance.....

2009-11-11T06:00:00.000Z

Lest we forget

PLEASE WEAR A POPPY.

"Please wear a poppy," the lady said

And held one forth, but I shook my head.

Then I stopped and watched as she offered them there,

And her face was old and lined with care;

But beneath the scars the years had made

There remained a smile that refused to fade.

A boy came whistling down the street,

Bouncing along on care-free feet.

His smile was full of joy and fun,

"Lady," said he, "may I have one?"

When she's pinned in on he turned to say,

"Why do we wear a poppy today?"

The lady smiled in her wistful way

And answered, "This is Remembrance Day,

And the poppy there is the symbol for

The gallant men who died in war.

And because they did, you and I are free -

That's why we wear a poppy, you see.

"I had a boy about your size,

With golden hair and big blue eyes.

He loved to play and jump and shout,

Free as a bird he would race about.

As the years went by he learned and grew

and became a man - as you will, too.

"He was fine and strong, with a boyish smile,

But he'd seemed with us such a little while

When war broke out and he went away.

I still remember his face that day

When he smiled at me and said, Goodbye,

I'll be back soon, Mom, so please don't cry.

"But the war went on and he had to stay,

And all I could do was wait and pray.

His letters told of the awful fight,

(I can see it still in my dreams at night),

With the tanks and guns and cruel barbed wire,

And the mines and bullets, the bombs and fire.

"Till at last, at last, the war was won -

And that's why we wear a poppy son."

The small boy turned as if to go,

Then said, "Thanks, lady, I'm glad to know.

That sure did sound like an awful fight,

But your son - did he come back all right?"

A tear rolled down each faded check;

She shook her head, but didn't speak.

I slunk away in a sort of shame,

And if you were me you'd have done the same;

For our thanks, in giving, if oft delayed,

Thought our freedom was bought - and thousands paid!

And so when we see a poppy worn,

Let us reflect on the burden borne,

By those who gave their very all

When asked to answer their country's call

That we at home in peace might live.

Then wear a poppy! Remember - and give!

~~By Don Crawford.~~

It's arrived.........

2009-11-10T06:00:00.005Z

This is so exciting!

At long last one for the ladies.......

Saturday Wordzzle # 88

2009-11-07T06:00:00.000Z

Here's my efforts

This week's ten word challenge is: Cute, come with me to the Casbah, bloodhound, respiration, Facebook, Canada Geese, modern, gravity, spider webs, sea shells.

Mary had just had a conversation about sea shells on Facebook with her friend from Canada. "Geese" she thought suddenly, as she heard a flock of them flying by. The noise the geese were making awoke Cutey, her bloodhound, from his nap in front of the fire. "Come with me to the Casbah Cutey" Mary said as she tried to defy gravity by dragging the huge dog into her modern kitchen. The effort caused respiration problems for Mary, who was no spring chicken, and she noticed some spider webs on the light fitting and promptly forgot the reason why she's dragged Cutey into the kitchen. Mary's attention span was getting shorter!

And for the mini: curiosity killed the cat, charming Victorian, railroad tracks, tower, salt and pepper

“Pass the salt and pepper” said Dorian,
Hardly a charming Victorian
Reading the newspaper and a story about power
Whilst his wife stacked dishes, up like a tower.
Another story about old railroad tracks
had Dorian questioning the facts.
Then, whilst reading over Dorian’s shoulder,
His wife didn’t see the discarded folder.
As she tripped over the folder and slipped on the mat,
Dorian whispered
“Curiosity killed the cat!”

Megawordzzle

Miranda was not past her sell by date yet, she may have salt and pepper hair and gravity was having it’s effect on her body, but she was still modern in her outlook on life. She was an active member on Facebook and recently had got to know a man who had invited her to ‘come with me to the Casbah?” Miranda found this invitation rather cute from someone who seemed more like a rather charming Victorian gentleman than a Sheikh. Actually Mason lived in London and the casbah was a pub called ‘The Flying Canada Geese’ near the Telecom Tower in Marylebone, apparently.

They had been ‘talking’ for about six months and Miranda had been like a bloodhound in her quest to find out all about Mason before she agreed to meet him. She’d heard too many horror stories of meetings with people over the internet and didn’t believe the old saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’ – the more she could find out the better. Miranda hadn’t been totally honest with Mason especially regarding her age and where she was from. She was what some people might term as being from the wrong side of the railroad tracks with a chequered past and 30 years older than the age of 22 she’d led him to believe. Luckily no photographs had been exchanged so she had been able to ensnare him in her spider webs of lies but now it was time to face the music. Well what was a woman to do when they are being wooed by a young man over the internet? She didn’t want to frighten him off before they had a chance to get to know each other!

The day arrived for the date and Miranda took great care with her appearance, she couldn’t make herself look 22 but she did look good. She wore the earrings made from sea shells which would be how Mason would recognise her and she was to look for a man wearing a red tie. Miranda arrived at the pub half an hour earlier than was necessary to give herself time to get her respiration rate down to normal, after the long walk from the tube station, and have a drink before Mason arrived.

Miranda was a nervous wreck, jumping like a startled rabbit every time the door of the pub opened. Little did she know that Mason had arrived before her and had been watching her for the last half hour, just out of sight in the other bar. At the appointed meeting time Mason decided to introduce himself. OK she wasn’t exactly how she’d described herself but she was quite attractive and presentable.

“Miranda?” he asked.

Miranda looked up into the dark eyes - Mason hadn’t been completely truthful either. He must be at least 50 but, hey, he was smart and handsome - this could probably work after all!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 95 Jobsworth

2009-11-06T06:00:00.004Z

“It’s not part of your uniform” the employer said

“I am not taking it off” said the employee

“Then it’s a disciplinary matter” replied the employer

“Do it” said the employee who then reported it to the press.

Now the employer has changed their policy and employees are allowed to wear

remembrance poppies at work.

I bent the rules today - this is not fiction but it is 55 words, words that say a lot about the state of this country of mine! This actually happened in Lancashire.

The employer, Bodycare, actually threatened an employee with disciplinary action if she did not remove the poppy. You can read about it here.

The public and a local MP kicked up such a stink that the company has changed their policy but, I think, only because there were calls for the public to boycott their stores.

How disgusting is it that people are not allowed to support our fallen and injured service personnel?

I despair for this country of mine I really do!

Dona Nobis Pacem......

2009-11-05T06:00:00.004Z

Today is Blogblast for Peace.

If you aren't already flying your Peace Globe go get one and fly it. Then go to Mimi (Mimi Writes) and sign Mr. Linky so other Blogblasters can come visit you.

You can get your Peace Globe here, it has instructions on how to do it, then post it on your blog today.

Please join in and make your voice heard, it will make a difference.

Portrait of Words # 20

2009-11-03T06:00:00.004Z

This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now every two weeks and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.

The challenge is you are given a number of pictures and must use some/all of the pictures to create a story.

Madge and Ethel were so excited about their trip to Sydney, Australia; neither had been abroad before so it was a huge adventure. Once they had gotten over their jet lag they started on the itinerary they’d drawn up before leaving England and first on the list was Sydney Opera House.

A shopping expedition at the Queen Victoria Building was also on the ‘to do’ list, Ethel and Madge were thrilled with the shops and the fashions the mannequins displayed in the windows. The pair were fascinated by the two mechanical clocks, which featured dioramas and moving figures from moments in Australian history. They were intrigued to see a sealed letter displayed in a dome, which was written by Queen Elizabeth II in 1985 and is to be opened in 2085 by the future Lord Mayor of Sydney and read aloud to the People of Sydney. No-one knows what the letter contains except the Queen.

A visit to Sydney Old Town had been recommended to them and they decided to go because there were rumours that it was closing down. Something that proved to be true as it did in fact close in 2003, the year after their visit.

They thoroughly enjoyed themselves wandering round the streets discovering the lifestyle of Old Sydney Town, seeing redcoats on parade, hearing the cannons and watching stories unfold before their very eyes by the actors and actresses such as pistol duels and a convict rebellion. They sat at the back of the Magistrates Court and heard convicts being tried, convicted and punished, as well as having a ride on a bullock drawn wagon being driven by a jovial man, who looked like and ageing Gerard Depardieu with a moustache.

It was whilst riding on the wagon that Madge started feeling unwell, she complained of stomach pains and was sweating profusely, then complained of feeling sick. Suddenly Ethel screamed “A spider, a spider!” pointing to a huge black thing scurrying across the bales of hay they were sitting on.

The driver pulled on the reins and stopped the cart telling everyone to get off immediately. “Were you bitten?” he asked Madge. There was a class of children on a school outing on the ride and he asked them if they had seen the spider, they said they hadn’t. Taking no chances he radioed for help and within minutes a car had arrived with a first aider who quickly telephoned for the air ambulance thinking that it was a possibility Madge had been bitten by a Funnel Web Spider from Ethel’s description of it. Madge by this time was in panic mode and feeling decidedly unwell. The first aider tried to reassure Madge by giving her the anti-venom, which they always kept because of the distance from the nearest hospital, and telling her they were only sending her to hospital as a precaution and she would be fine.

After making sure that nobody else had been bitten the first aider suggested they carried on with the rest of the tour and the children were ushered away by their teacher, who decided to take them to the tuck shop to take their minds off what had happened.

Standing by the bubble gum machine the children were laughing and joking and the teacher thought how insensitive children could be, they weren’t worried about what had happened to poor Madge at all. Luckily for the children, the teacher didn’t see the realistic looking replica Funnel Web Spider that they were passing round.

***************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blo gblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

"There is no way to peace. Peace is the way."

- A.J. Muste.

Awards....

2009-11-02T06:00:00.003Z

Pam at 'Finding Pam' kindly passed this award on to me. Thanks m'dear.

This one comes with unusual instructions. You have to doctor the list of recipients below by taking out #1 and moving everyone up, then put your own name and link at the bottom. So #1 becomes #2, #3 becomes #2 etc., etc.

1. Lyla
2.Mr. D
3.Sweet_shelo
4. Chris
5. Kaye
6. Yami
7. Mizhelle
8. Hootn’ Anni
9.Thom
10. finding pam

So, the above list now becomes:

1.Mr. D
2.Sweet_shelo
3. Chris
4. Kaye
5. Yami
6. Mizhelle
7. Hootn’ Anni
8.Thom
9. finding pam

10. Akelamalu

Get it?

Also the lovely Thom at 'Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever' bestowed this award on me too.

Thankyou Thom.

I can't choose between you all so anyone who comments on this post I want you to take the awards for yourself and pass them on.

********************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

If there is to be peace in the world,

There must be peace in the nations.

If there is to be peace in the nations,

There must be peace in the cities.

If there is to be peace in the cities,

There must be peace between neighbors.

If there is to be peace between neighbors,

There must be peace in the home.

If there is to be peace in the home,

There must be peace in the heart.

-- Lao Tzu (570-490 B.C.)

Saturday Wordzzle # 87

2009-10-31T06:00:00.007Z

Having just been over to Raven's blog to sign in to Mr Linky I discovered that I have used the wrong words completely! I have no idea how this has happened.

As I have made the effort to write the Wordzzles Iwill leave them up. I hope the other Wordzzlers will make allowances for what must have been a senior moment. Sorry!

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Here's my efforts.

This week's 10 word challenge is: riverboat, procrastination, drank, demons, invisible, candle, enough, film stars, summer job, computer

Her colleagues had encouraged her to take time off from her job as a computer programmer and enter the talent competition and, after much procrastination, she had taken their advice. Chrissie won the competition hands down, the other entrants seemed invisible in comparison, they couldn’t hold a candle to her. Chrissie was, literally, an overnight success. Within weeks her first single ‘Riverboat Queen’ was #1 in the charts, she was being courted by film stars, pop idols and movie moguls. Five years previously Chrissie had been at rock bottom, broke and alcoholic, but with an iron will she had given up drinking and gone to , where she found she had a flair for working on computers.

Kelly’s album, ‘Summer Job’, was destined to be a huge chart hit, if only she could limit the amount she drank and stay sober long enough to enjoy it. Now, with success , her demons had returned.

For the mini: general demeanor, surprisingly, masked man, reach, standards

General Demeanor, Albert to his friends, the owner of the store tried to reach the masked man as he made off with the takings from the till, but he was surprisingly quick and was soon out of reach. Albert had only given chase because he had standards, he wasn’t going to sit back and let them get away with robbing him, even if it was just the dummy till, full of monopoly money.

Megawordzzle

Enough, the time for procrastination was over decided Jane. She’d thought about it long enough, now it was time to act. For too long now her general demeanor had been one of a shrinking violet, it was time to shake off the cloak of shyness, which had made her invisible for so long.

Surprisingly, Jane felt that at last she may be able to reach the standards her father, Nelson Peabody the Hollywood Director, had instilled in the great film stars he had the pleasure of working with. He had directed box office blockbusters such as “Riverboat Tales”, “The Mysterious Masked Man”, “Computer Demons”, “A Candle at Midnight” and “I Drank Blood”. A great man deserved a great daughter.

The decision was made. She would take the summer job she’d been offered at the Studios in Hollywood as a gopher, it was a start!

*************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace? Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

Eleanor Roosevelt

It isn't enough to talk about peace, one must believe it.

And it isn't enough to believe in it, one must work at it.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 94 Shock......

2009-10-30T06:00:00.001Z

The wind was howling, leaves swirling outside, she hated this time of year.

Suddenly a knock on the door.

Wiping her hands, she went to answer.

Opening the door a crack she jumped back in horror at the grotesque sight that greeted her.

A scream escaped her lips.

The children laughed and accepted the treats.

*************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace? Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
One day we must come to see that peace is not merely a distant goal we seek, but that it is a means by which we arrive at that goal. We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means.

Voting time......

2009-10-28T06:00:00.007Z

Now's your chance to vote for who gets

The Great Imagination Award #4

This award is unique to whoever wins it and cannot be passed on, and you can't sell it on Ebay either! LOL

You will remember on my Saturday Wordzzle #85 I invited readers to say what Arthur didn't know about Fluffy Bunny in my Mini Wordzzle, and those that used their imaginations came up with some absolutely fabulous entries.

All the entries made me laugh and surpassed anything I could have written. I would like to give the award to all of you, but then the spirit of competition would be lost wouldn't it? So, I want everyone who reads them to vote in the comments who's they like the best and the winner will get the award. Of course if two or more people get the same number of votes then each of them will get the award.

Here are the entries:

quilly said...
Art's wholesome, model wife whom he calls Fluffy Bunny actuially used to be a Playboy Bunny, but on her 26th birthday, she had too much to drink and told Heffy he was a lousy lover. He tossed her out on her ear and made sure she would never work in modeling or showbiz again.Several months later, almost destitute, Sandy stumbled into a church and met Jesus. She cleaned up her life and with the help of the congregation got a good paying job and went to college, where she met her husband and fell madly in love.

Thom said...
My entry:Fluffy Bunny is a sheep in wolfs clothing!

Nessa said...
Arthur doesn't know that Fluffy Bunny is a code name for history's all time best spy. Able to insinuate herself into any situation because she looks so sweet and innocent, Fluffy Bunny has been able to prevent the worst disasters from happening.

Dr.John said...
We know she is really a wer-bunny shapeshifter. When he leaves she turns back to a rabbit and eats carrots. He should have noticed their carrot bill going through the roof. But like most husbands he is not very observant . He is happy as long as his overalls are crisp and clean.

Linda said...
Fluffy Bunny is actually running a discreet escort service but as long as she continues to make his lunch and ensure that his overalls are crisp and clean, Arthur is a happy man and has no clue as to what is going on in his house when he's away.

Susan at Stony River said...
I'd say Arthur's wife makes such great gourmet lunches and can afford to get his overalls professionally cleaned, because she's leading a secret life as an author of lesbian bondage erotica, under the pseudonym Bunny McFluffles.

Reston Friends! said...
Fluffy Bunny is a dream weaver. Purveyor of an ancient art that involves all natural fibers including cotton, spider silk, and those little things Dumbledore pulls out of his head when he's putting memories into the basin. Bunny's job is to incorporate them into fabulous textiles that hang on the walls of a special art gallery so that the dreams and the stories in them are kept through time. When enough time has passed, they vanish overnight. But the dragons know where they are because they are prescient and have lived so much longer than us. The guardian who opens and closes the portal to move the art is a timeless being, who in his most previous existence, was known as Bartholomew Arnold.

Raven said...
Fluffy Bunny has a secret life as the star of an up and coming punk rock band which coordinates it's hours to coordinate with her husband's work schedule. Her band name is Demon Hawk. She hires someone to do the cleaning and laundry.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...
fluffy bunny is a cake baker, the best in the world and her cakes bring in top dollar. smiles,

Fandango said...
Fluffy bunny hasn't told him that just like a rabbit she is pregnant with triplets.

Shrinky said...
Fluffy bunny is totally obsessed by him, in fact she started out as his stalker. He thinks his first wife ran off with the blind, lesbian dwarf juggler living next door, but in reality, Fluffy Bunny ambushed her when she pretended to be a door-to-door starched apron sales-woman. She rolled her in an industrial starched overall and fed her pork luncheon meat until she burst. Sadly, the poor midget, hearing the commotion, drowned in the explosion when she came over to investigate. Both are pushing beautiful daisies up beneath the patio.Arthur can't believe how well his life has gone since his second marriage, anyone who worries him simply disappears.

Argent said...
What does she get up to when he's not around? Having an affair? No, too obvious. Maybe she actually is a were-bunny and turns into her rabbit form while he's out. Drat! Just read that DrJohn had the same idea! Note to self: read comments before commenting.Maybe she's got a bizzare rabbit fetish and wraps herself up in their freshly flayed skins, then films herself, making tons of wonga on the internet.

So, who gets the award? It's up to you -vote now!

********************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace".

R. Buckminster Fuller:

Either war is obsolete or men are.

Nursery Rhymes Quiz Part 3 Answers.......

2009-10-26T06:00:00.033Z

OK, for all those who took part here's the answers to the Nursery Rhymes Quiz Part 3:

1. L.B.D.D.L.G. - Lavender's Blue Dilly Dilly Lavender's Green

2. B.A.G.C.O.T.P. - Boys And Girls Come Out To Play

3. C.A.D.D. - Cock A Doodle Doo

4. S.S.M.A.P.G.T.T.F. - Simple Simon Met A Pieman Going To The Fair

5. D.D.B.P.I.T.W. - Ding Dong Bell Pussy's In The Well

6. G.P.P.A.P. - Georgie Porgie Pudding And Pie

7. G.G.G.W.S.I.W. - Goosey Goosey Gander Where Shall I Wander

8. B.B.B.D.G.A.H. - Bye Baby Bunting Daddy's Gone A Hunting

9. T.W.A.C.M. - There Was A Crooked Man

Here's all the folk who got some right, those with most right first, in the order I received their emails.

So well done, please take the badge to put on your blog and display it with pride for your achievement.

Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever)

Thumbelina (Secret Worlds)

Bindi (Beautiful World)

Nitebyrd (A Dustbunny In The Wind)

Look out for Nursery Rhymes Quiz Part 4.

********************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace".

Carl Sandburg:
Choose:The single clenched fist lifted and ready,

Or the open hand held out and waiting.

Choose:For we meet by one or the other

Saturday Wordzzle # 86

2009-10-24T06:00:00.003+01:00

Here's my efforts.

This week's Ten Word Challenge: Incensed, sidewinder, bogus, conniption, Haz-mat, conniving, customize, perforated, zeal, rolling off a log

Mary was incensed when the doctor suggested that she was prone to conniptions. Just because she had ranted and raved calling him a charlatan and bogus did not warrant him saying she had hysterical fits! Granted she had landed him a sidewinder, but that was because he had scared her when he entered her hospital room wearing a Hazmat because he thought she was contagious. Then the conniving SOB had told everyone that she had perforated his protection suit in her zeal to escape! She admitted that she had tried to help him customize it by taking the helmet off, but that was so he wouldn’t scare other patients. Unfortunately lies came to his lips as easy as rolling off a log, the powers that be believed him and they sectioned her.

And for the mini: abstemious, chlorophyll, origami, cheerleader, dung beetle

Annie had become abstemious in her food intake, in an effort to maintain her slight frame for her passion as a cheerleader. Her friends kept telling her she was virtually living off chlorophyll, she ate so little. Why, a dung beetle ate more than she! Annie realised she’d gone too far with her dieting, when she collapsed one day and the paramedics folded her up like a sheet of origami paper and put her on a stretcher.

Megawordzzle

“Another bogus caller” thought Daphne, slamming down the phone. Daphne was becoming incensed by the number of calls she was getting, it interfered with her TV viewing and she was likely to have a conniption if she got one more call she decided! The older she got the more hissy fits she was having.

Opening the fridge she took out her lunchtime yoghurt, which she ate every day religiously. Her nieces said she didn’t eat enough, accused her of being abstemious, she did watch what she ate, after all she didn’t want to get fat. Daphne had been a cheerleader in her youth and wanted to keep her lithe, supple body for as long as possible, to fit into the beautiful clothes in her wardrobe. She didn’t want to end up like her friends wearing clothes that resembled Hazmats.

After eating her yoghurt Daphne picked up her “How to do Origami” book and turned to the page showing how to make a dung beetle. Within minutes she had made it and was congratulating herself “easy as rolling off a log” she thought.

Just then there was a knock on the door. Daphne peered through the security peephole and saw her neighbour Sidewinder Syd. She called him sidewinder because he was a snake like man who gave her the jitters. He worked in a lab, apparently, and was always going on about chlorophyll and things she knew nothing about, Daphne thought he was a conniving creep who only kept coming round to try to find out how much money she had. He kept telling her about his friend who was a lawyer and asking if she had a will, saying that his friend could come round and customize a will to her exact needs.

Just as Daphne was about to tell Syd she was busy and he would have to go she suddenly got the sharpest pain in her side which literally took her breath away and she dropped to the floor like a stone. Syd’s zeal disappeared and he stood open-mouthed staring at Daphne on the floor. Quickly he dialled 999 and asked for an ambulance, then he tried to make Daphne comfortable until it arrived. Syd went with her to the hospital where the doctors diagnosed a perforated appendix, saying had Syd not acted quickly Daphne would have died for sure. Syd stayed at the hospital until the emergency operation was over and Daphne was conscious. He promised to let her niece’s know what had happened and look after her cat until she got home.

Syd picked Daphne up from the hospital when it was time for her to return home. He had filled the fridge with food and cleaned the place from top to bottom and Daphne’s cat was sitting on her chair purring contentedly. Daphne revised her opinion of Syd and thanked him for saving her life and all the help he’d given her. It was only when she went to bed that she discovered the money she kept under the mattress was gone, along with all her jewellery. Of course she had no proof but she just knew it was Syd, “he won’t set foot over my threshold again” she told her neice. It was then she noticed her niece’s new shoes and her own gold charm bracelet peeking out from her niece’s cardigan sleeve.

********************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

Jimi Hendrix:
When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 93 Bright New Future

2009-10-23T06:00:00.001+01:00

Bright New Future

New Knee

New Hip

New Liver

New Kidneys

New Heart

Pick them up at Walmart

or grow your own.......Arms, Legs, Teeth, Brain?

The future is -

Replace all your worn out parts and live to 100 years old.

What's the point?

The way things are going the Government would make you work until you're 90!

************************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace".

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

John Lennon:
Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one.

Portrait Of Words #19...

2009-10-20T06:00:00.022+01:00

This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now every two weeks and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.

I haven't written one for a while but I felt inspired by these particular photos, so here goes....

Sheila was busy arranging the altar flowers for Sunday morning service, in the church that had stood in the centre of the village for centuries. It was a beautiful village, peaceful and friendly.

The surrounding countryside attracted a lot of visitors such as ramblers and people just out for a Sunday drive or, quite often, people came for a peaceful weekend staying at the local pub which had half a dozen rooms to let. Everyone in the village was friendly and helpful, there was no crime and apart from the occasional ‘too much to drink’ after a family party, which Sheila found acceptable, the village was a veritable paradise, even her husband had loved it.

The flowers had been cut from her garden this morning. She was proud of her garden and her semi-detached cottage not far from the church. Sheila had moved here with her husband when they had retired, as it wasn’t too far away from town where their son lived but was a lot quieter obviously. When her husband had died, only two years into retirement, her son had asked her to move back to town and live with him and his wife but by then Sheila had settled into country life, making many friends in the village. She decided to stay and ten years on was a long established member of the church council, which is how she had been able to arrange for her grandson to be baptised there. She was looking forward to the service tomorrow, it wasn’t to be just a Sunday Service it was the day her first grandchild was to be Baptised, a momentous occasion.

“Poor little Daryl must have colic” she thought, he started screaming as soon as they brought him into the church and hadn’t stopped since. Hopefully he wouldn’t carry on through the baptismal service, how embarrassing would that be? The godparents were called to the font by the vicar as they desperately they tried to calm the yowling baby. Sheila was getting more and more agitated watching her squirming grandson being passed from pillar to post in an effort to placate him. Eventually it was time for the child to be given to the vicar for the blessing, which made the child’s crying even worse. The vicar made the sign of the cross on the baby’s head with the holy water and there was an audible gasp as Daryl projectile vomited green bile all over the vicar’s cassock! Sheila was mortified when she heard a member of the congregation mutter “Maybe they should have called him Damien, he’s obviously a demon!”

“Maybe it’s time to move back to town. Daryl has inherited more than his grandfather’s eyes” thought Sheila.