The Leila Texts

2009-07-16T21:39:00.001-04:00

I went into a tunnel & we got disconnected.I'll let u know tomorrow re: Sephora.
from a 917 phone number, Thursday, July 16, 4:56 PM

FYI, Re: Sephora: I say yes, please, ASAP.

2009-07-16T21:37:00.002-04:00

R we goin tn DQ
from a 313 phone number, Thursday, July 16, 3:50 PM

My God, it must be so awful in Detroit and its suburbs. I can't imagine living in the middle of July with Dairy Queen as the best available ice cream option. For this reason alone, I will probably never move to the 313.

2009-07-16T21:36:00.001-04:00

whats up hommie
from a 360 phone number, Thursday, July 16, 1:01 AM

Nnothing. Jusst upddating my bllog annd eatinng pastta.

2009-07-16T21:34:00.003-04:00

actually i will take the name of ur ac co cuz i recall they were from danbury and maybe cheaper?
from a 646 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 2:29 PM

I haven't even put my AC unit yet this year, which, given the current humidity in my apartment, may have been a mistake.

2009-07-16T21:17:00.003-04:00

Nevertextjakebaucust
from an 815 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 1:29 PM

Okay, well, I won't text Jake Baucust. I couldn't possibly, because I don't know how, because I just googled him and nothing came up. Jake Baucust does not exist. And once this blog post is cached, this will be the only thing page that comes up when you google "Jake Baucust." What's the word for that? Google-something. Do you know what I mean?

2009-07-16T21:15:00.002-04:00

going to dads hopefully money ready soon and i will bring food
from a 601 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 12:18 PM

are you cooking me something good
from a 601 phone number, Thursday, July 16, 5:19 PM

601 and Leila seems to have a lot of discussion about where their next meal will come from.

2009-07-16T21:14:00.002-04:00

Hello, Eric is ready for EJ to come home.
from a 904 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 6:43 AM

It sounds to me like 904 is Eric, and is just speaking about himself in the third person. Or maybe Eric is 904's dog.

2009-07-16T21:08:00.002-04:00

r u still mad at me
CAYLA!@#$%&
from an 858 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 8:08 PM

sorry. 4 all that drama a couple of days ago.
CAYLA!@#$%&
from an 858 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 11:11 PM

when u gonna b home? wat timne
CAYLA!@#$%&
from an 858 phone number, Monday, July 13, 12:55 AM

Personally, I just want to know what the drama was! CAYLA!@#$%&, I cannot accept your apology unless you be a little more specific about the drama.

2009-07-14T19:04:00.003-04:00

Tht wuz hilarious
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 10:47 PM

Im trying to prank call some loser trinty kids house
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:03 PM

Wtf wy arent you txtingme!!!!! Im so fuckin bored!!!!
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:06 PM

Ur so damn mean
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:10 PM

Make a wish its 11:11 i wished forsomeone to talk to me :(
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:13 PM

I AM SO MOTHERFUCKIN PISSED THAT YOUR TXTING RILEY AND NOT ME AND I AM GOING FUCKIN CRAZY BECAUSE NOBODY WILL EVEN TALK TO ME AND IM FUCKIN PISSED!!!!!!!!!
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:18 PM

JUST FUCKIN TXT ME IM VERY VERY PISSED/SAD :(:(:(:(:(
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:23 PM

Your so GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKIN MEAN AND I THINK I MIGHT TIE A NUECE AND FUCKING HANG MYSELF!!!! Plz txt me i aM SO FUCKIN BORED
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:26 PM

Im sorry i called you some bad names and went a little bit over the line, but im very deppressed rite now so txt me or it possible i live in a hole forver
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:29 PM

Plz txt me im sad and im wasting shitloads of money trying to talk to you and i will call you if you dont txt in one minute
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 13, 11:34 PM

Well you guys are smart,walking around her nieghborhood at one in the morning with no kind of protection from child abducters at all...
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 12:42 AM

You probably got kidnapped didntt you
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 12:45 AM

I knew you got kidbapped
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 12:47 AM

Haha you got kidnapped
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 12:49 AM

Why did you hang up
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, July 14, 1:07 AM

What the hell happened
from a 240 phone number, Tuesday, Juy 14, 1:19 AM

This was what I woke up to this morning. Next time you wish for the Leila Texts on your phone, just remember the time I went to sleep and woke up to 14 text messages from 240. NEVER FORGET THIS.

2009-07-12T17:51:00.003-04:00

how come ur hard 2 reach?
from a 973 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 2:03 PM

Do u know anyone else on our team?
from a 973 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 2:19 PM

Leila's so hard to reach because you don't know how to text her properly. And if you told me what kind of team you're talking about, I could tell you if I know anyone else on it. Scavenger hunt team, maybe?

2009-07-12T17:50:00.000-04:00

u awake
CAYLA!@#$%&*
from an 858 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 2:48 AM

I actually was awake at 2:48 last night; however, for some reason, I just didn't feel like chatting with CAYLA. Go figure.

2009-07-12T17:41:00.003-04:00

what is niki's last name?
from a 714 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 1:19 AM

niosha and i have found a task for u. niosha set up art n i website. we want u to write a small paragraph about me. about art. and about how we met. call
from a 714 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 2:06 AM

call me so we can discuss further. its due by thurs. love u armita and niosha
from a 714 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 2:08 AM

how do spell ur moms name? pls let me know as soon as u can.
from a 714 phone number, Sunday, July 12, 5:08 PM

I don't get the deal with this website. It's due to where by Thursday? This can't be a school project-- school's out for the summer, and, anyway, who discusses schoolwork at 2am on a Saturday night. And why does Leila have to be involved? And, if she is going to be involved, why does she have to write a paragraph about 714? That seems pretty self-involved, Armita.

2009-07-12T17:39:00.003-04:00

Dodd I thought you said that you would call me back later on tonight. What happened to my returned phone call back tonight?
from a 302 phone number, Saturday, July 11, 10:19 PM

Not a whole lot of info about this Leila on facebook. Maybe that's why she didn't call 302 back: because she didn't want to give too much away.

2009-07-12T17:35:00.002-04:00

I love you bug .
from a 949 phone number, Saturday, July 11, 5:04 PM

I MISS YOU ALREADY. I LOVE YOU
from a 949 phone number, Saturday, July 11, 10:12 PM

949 may love his Leila more than any other Leila Texter loves any other Leila, in all of Verizon.

2009-07-12T17:34:00.002-04:00

Is george gonna ope for me tomorrow
from a 734 phone number, Saturday, July 11, 4:18 PM

I assume 734 is asking if George will open for her, and I wonder what sort of shop she and Leila work in.

2009-07-11T15:58:00.000-04:00

Waz ^
*M@rah*
from a 765 phone number, Saturday, July 11, 2:20 PM

Best way of saying "what's up" ever.

2009-07-11T15:55:00.001-04:00

Heyyyyyyy leila i am riding a horse :]
-Tanya-
from a 631 phone number, Saturday, July 11, 12:32 PM

I am impressed that Tanya can text which riding a horse. I can barely ride a horse while riding a horse.

2009-07-11T15:53:00.002-04:00

dad said he went into prts of bruno and it was dirty and dad said was like i dont want to u to see it
from a 513 phone number, Friday, July 10, 3:19 PM

This doesn't come as a huge shock to me. I don't have any kids and I haven't seen a single scene of Bruno, but I still know I wouldn't want my kids watching it.

2009-07-11T15:51:00.003-04:00

just remember one thing, I truly do love you and I do want to spend the rest of my days with you. whatever you decide will not change that
~ Space Cowboy
from a 631 phone number, Friday, July 10, 3:07 PM

I texted Space Cowboy back. That was probably humiliating for him, to learn that a total stranger had read his declaration of love, but COME ON. It would have been CRUEL not to tell him that Leila never received this.

2009-07-11T15:50:00.000-04:00

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Have a GRAND and FABULOUS Day ;) R-
from a 360 phone number, Friday, July 10, 11:33 AM

Receiving birthday texts and emails is possibly the best part about having a birthday. Which makes me feel all the worse about how rarely I send them out to my friends.

2009-07-11T15:48:00.002-04:00

ho
from a 772 phone number, Thursday, July 9, 10:03 PM

Couldn't 772 just have texted Leila "10"? Wouldn't that have the same effect?

2009-07-11T15:47:00.002-04:00

did u guyz make it to the beach ?
from a 978 phone number, Thursday, July 9, 1:22 PM

aka "Did I miss anything?"

2009-07-11T15:41:00.002-04:00

Txt everyone in ur fone n c wat they rate u 1.real 2.ghetto 3.cute 4.big dick 5.wifey 6.fuckable 7.Bff 8.Sexy 9.Hubby 10.Hoe 11.Stuck Up
from a 609 phone number, Thursday, July 9, 12:09 PM

This is the most random assortment of characteristics I can imagine being in a list. Aren't "Sexy" and "fuckable" kind of the same thing? Why would you rate someone as your husband?

As you know if you are a follower of the Leila Texts, I have received a number of iterations of this text. What if 609 got confused because someone texted her back "4," and she thought they were telling her she had a big dick, but really they just meant that she is fun? Can't we standardize this rating system?

2009-07-11T15:37:00.002-04:00

and even if i do something that hurts u. u should act all mean to me. and make me cry . and be by my self and lonely all day
from an 858 phone number, Wednesday, July 8, 11:44 PM

I don't think I understand this text. "Even if I do something that hurts you, you should act mean to me"? There are a lot of periods in here that confuse the meaning for me. What do you guys think? Does 858 actually want Leila to act all mean to him? If so, why?

2009-07-08T23:14:00.000-04:00

how's things going with your other half? Any better?
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, July 8, 5:38 PM

Does 917 really expect that Leila will be able to provide an update on her marital relations in a 160-character text? No. This is a question that requires a telephone call. Or, at the very least, an email.