61,000 Donkeys

2007-02-26T11:32:00.000Z

LOST AND FOUND

Don’t you hate it when you lose things, and even more the advice you get when you try to find them. More often than not its always my fault when I lose things and leave them in my room only to get buried under mounds of other things that are waiting their turn to get lost. In the end I find them and they are where I left them (surprised? Didn’t think so).

However recently my Pastor was preaching and he used this same situation to bring out a point about our daily walk with God. Do we feel as if we lost God? Do we feel as if we are missing something in our faith? If the answer is yes then we should examine our lives. Has anything changed? When was the last time we felt close to God? When you identify that time compare now to then, have you stopped doing anything (or perhaps started doing something) different? If you stopped reading your bible then start, have you stopped praying, start have you stopped meeting with God’s people, start! Often its when we stop these routine activities and get caught up in other things that God seems distant to us, try going back to those necessary activities to find what you lost.

Often it is the case that when we lose something its where we left it, the best thing about God is he will never leave us and he is infinitely patient. Often he is just waiting for us, calling to us to come back to him. I may go all over the place BUT God’s going nowhere!

2007-01-17T13:20:00.000Z

Do Balrogs Have wings ?

This may seem a funny question but it has been around for… well since Tolkien wrote Lord of the wings. I came across this at my A-levels, writing a piece of research on Tolkien. the balrog is a mythical daemon that they fight in Moria, in the recent film it is the most famous part of the whole trilogy and is depicted with wings. There is a lot of debate out there! if your interested in finding out more try:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balrog

and the external links has even more hardcore essays on the subject. Anyone fancy a MA on Balrogisum?

More ways to waste your day from Jonny :)

2007-01-16T14:51:00.000Z

GANDALF and PIPPIN sit on stone steps . . . Both

covered in sweat and grime, bone-weary from fighting,
spirits and hearts bruised . . .

PIPPIN:(quiet)

             I didn't think it would end this way . . .

 GANDALF: (gently):

             End? No, the journey doesn't end here.

PIPPIN looks up at GANDALF, questioningly . . . .

GANDALF: Death is just another path, one that we all

must take.

ANGLE ON: GANDALF looks down to see PIPPIN looking
up at him with fear in his eyes . . .

GANDALF: (remembering)

The grey rain curtain of this world rolls

back and all turns to silver glass . . .

(to himself)

and then you see it . . .

ANGLE ON: GANDALF breaks off, lost in reverie . . .

PIPPIN:

What, Gandalf? See what?

GANDALF:

White shores ... And beyond . . . A far green

country under a swift sunrise.

PIPPIN stares up at the OLD WIZARD'S FACE, softened
quiet and full of peace . . .

PIPPIN:(quiet)

Well, that isn't so bad.

GANDALF:(gently)

No . . . No, it isn't.

2007-01-08T16:42:00.000Z

WHO IS STUPIDER:

Man who throws ball

or

Dog who fetches

???

2007-01-08T15:32:00.000Z

HERE’S JONNY

So many might have noticed my absence, but that was explained in the previous blog post. So I’d thought I’d share some randomness from my trip across the ocean.

Day 1: in cinema seeing the pursuit of happiness when the lights come on and there is an announcement that a tornado has been sighted please evacuate the cinema and proceed to the tornado shelter, please do not leave the mall. Like day 1!!!

Visiting a southern Baptist church, it was big, the worship hall could have fitted my whole church site in (or close to at least). Preaching was good glad the gospel is the same in the US

Bookstores, the main bookstore has Christian books in, like ones you would want to read!

Food, I had root beer, American beer (yes it is as bad as everyone thinks). Taco bell, authentic Mexican, American burgers, dinner milkshakes, homemade fudge, and southern fried chicken

Texas being famous for the Wild West meant we went to the historic stockyards, got to see a Rodeo, funnier was the reaction of Lindsey and her mum going into the rodeo and smelling the air. Saw calf lassoing, stunt riding, bull riding and the works. Also got to try on cowboy stuff 

Cars, all the cars are bigger, the roads are bad. Many many trucks on the road, but petrol is about 1/3 of the price, it costs the same in petrol to run a gas guzzling truck as it did my fiesta. Also saw a beautiful 65” mustang being done up/

New years, spent time with some of Lindsey’s family friends in a huge house, really Texan people playing poker and pool.

Films saw night at the museum, the pursuit of happiness and children of me. Children of men was really good but made me homesick as it is all filmed on location in Kent and London.

Culture, went to see the bodyworlds exhibit. If you get the opportunity see it, yes they are real bodies but my word you see just how good God is in his making of the human body!!!

Shopping, I gave in and bought cheap Oakleys, not that I will have a chance to use them much in wet England but I am weak.

Overall it was a good trip, but now its back to reality and time to get work!

2006-12-27T21:35:00.000Z

MEET THE PARENTS

So, i'm going to be away for the next 8 days, why6? i'm off to America to meet lindseys parents. I think this could be an..... interesting experance, she lives in dallas, texas. So i have lots of stereotypes of Americans in my head, and texans are the cowboy type with big guns. Also i heard the men are really protective of their daughters. So best behavior, stiff upper lip and tiddley pom away I go.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all :)

2006-12-26T14:37:00.000Z

ROOM 101

It’s my 101^st post. So I thought I’d do a 101 special J.

So what 3 things would Jonny send to room 101?

4x4’s.

Yes those Chelsea tractors the bane of the road user everywhere. They seem to always park badly, they never see you because everything is too small. They are really bad for fuel efficacy and are in the worst group for co2 emissions. At night when you travel on the roads because they are so elevated their headlights are slap bang on the same level as your mirror so you get blinded. I see no need for these, if you have lots of kids get a people carrier or an estate car. The fact is the 4 wheel drive is now becoming a road car, there are sporty “vogue” versions, what farmer would buy a vogue? surely this is aimed at those soccer mom’s. I saw a top gear where they raced a new range rover sport against a tank, the range rover was shamed, it cant handle what it was designed to do, off road, though it did have lots of space and a refrigerator in the arm rest. These beasts have my vote to go to room 101! (with the exception of those who live on farms who have need for off road vehicles)

Liberal Theology

This is one thing that should be locked away and never seen again. Its derisive, its dribble. Theology that says things like, Jesus is not God, penal substitution is wrong, and the Bible is not the word of God. These are the basics that if you take away leave gaping holes in your faith and reduce you to licence or religion. Either way its will leave you empty and unfulfilled.

Processed Pop

Okay the first time round x-factor and pop idol got our attentions, but why do they persist in continuing? There is soo much samey rubbish that get thrown in our faces I think we should let music be music on its own merits and on the talent of the performers. With all this clutter being blasted out our TV and radio it strangles those with talent who haven’t been given their showbiz break. Ratings should not control the music business.

I hope this doesn’t sound like ranting, it is but its light-hearted. My room 101 selection for my 101 post.

2006-12-24T20:37:00.000Z

Merry Christmas

A happy christmas to all who read my blog.
A small christmas thought to all my readers.
The goose doesn't realy get the best deal at christmas, what being killed, stuffed, cooked and all.
This Christmas DONT BE A GOOSE, instead celebrate the true meaning of christmas, God come to earth, Jesus' birth.

Merry Christmas

Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace,
Hail, the Sun of Righteousness
Light and life to all He brings,
Risen with healing in His Wings.
Now He lays His Glory by,
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the New-born king!"

2006-12-23T18:11:00.000Z

WOODLAND WANDERING WONDERINGS:

So with all this cold and fog there are still things outdoors that need to be done, like walking the dogs. Now I like doing this I often walk in the woods and reflect, think, or just drink in the beauty of the woods. Last week I was walking in the woods and being honest things wernt/arnt that good with me. I was in a stretch of the woods, tired and down. And I just stopped waiting to hear from God (I did ask first).

I looked behind me and saw the corner I had come around in the distance, the sunset glow spilling from the direction I came to cast a golden shadow onto the path. Looking around me it was dim and muddy and cold, looking a ahead I could see the well known path but it was obscured by fog and the lack of light. Then for a moment I caught a glimpse of another dog walker in the distance before he was again swallowed by the fog.

This bought a few things to my mind. Looking back, I had come round a corner from light into dark, I could see where I had come from, but I couldn’t go back, that wasn’t the way to go. There was light in my life but now things have got darker. Looking at where I was, it is not a place to stop, its dark and hard and muddy. My path at the moment is difficult, but the path is also well trodden (hence all the mud). Two things here first, this is a well used path, we all live (or lived) and there is nothing new under the sun. People have been through what I have been through and yet have made it out the other end, the path is hard but its not impossible. Second I have been this way before, many of those footprints are mine and I know this path. I have been to some dark places previously in my life and I have got through them, I know that my life now is not as bad and I can cope by experience.

Lastly the distance, looking onwards I cant see where the path goes. I don’t know what my future holds at the moment uncertainty and foggy. But I do know that the woods end and then I can go home. Likewise this life will end at some piont in the (hopefully) distant future and I can go home, the woods arnt endless I just cant see the end. Also the figure in the distance, he has gone ahead of me, he has been down the path and is going before me. Jesus had done everything I need, he is my guide on my path and I can follow him, when the fog and dark descends he can disappear from sight, because you cant see him doesn’t mean he isn’t there.

I can look back and worry over better times gone and what I have lost, I can look down and get bogged in the present and my emotions and see a helpless situation. I can look forward and fear as I cant see the way . Or I can trust through experience and knowledge that the endless foggy darkness will end and where I am is not where I will be forever and walk on in the knowledge that I have a Lord who has gone before me and will get me home.

2006-12-05T09:51:00.000Z

Going Postal

I received two letters in the post yesterday, I thought I’d post two extracts from them:

Letter 1

Dear Mr Hannan

We can confirm our inspection of the above vehicle on behalf of Norwich union motor claims, and advise that we have recommended to them that the claim be dealt with on a total loss basis.

Letter 2

Dear Mr Hannan

… At this time of year we want all our cars to perform faultlessly. A lot can happen between annual services; therefore I would like to invite you to have a special winter safety check on your vehicle for only £10+ VAT.

When you get these two letters on the same morning you just have to laugh.

2006-11-29T17:54:00.000Z

Experiencing God's sovergienty Part III, an unexpected incident:

So this was meant to be a post on my unemployed situation, however events changed it.

Last Wednesday I crashed my car, like totally!!! Going down to Cornwall for a week to do some bits around our property there, anyway after 6 ½ hours travelling we left the dual carriageway onto the country roads. Going around one corner about 35 I realised that I was going too fast and too wide, I put on my breaks and steered in. However my back skidded out and I spun about 90 degrees to face the hedgerow (Cornish ones are normally stone!) which I promptly steered away from but my back again slammed into the hedge, I hit the verge and the car went over. The car rolled over onto the drivers side which made the window shatter, then onto the roof where it stopped in the middle of the road.

So then alls quiet, I’m hanging upside down in the car, this is a really novel experience, however I don’t suggest you try it, just go to Alton towers! first I wonder if I’m alright, yup all seems like I can move, but my cousin hasn’t said anything its soo quite. I ask if he’s okay he replies he is, and we stay upside down. I then suggest we might release our seatbelts, we do and land in the car (me on all the glass!. I put the hazards on and think... we need to get out the car, I ask is Chris can get his door open, he cant. I try mine, I have to kick it open. Then we crawl out the car. Then we stand there in the dark looking at the car. All I can think of is it’s a dream, it must be a dream, I didn’t roll my car. Then I look and realise its real. DAMN ! And only 8 miles from out destination.

So we’re out and a friendly guy phones the ambulance (a not so friendly woman informs us she phoned the police). I now check myself and find I’m dripping blood all over the road, and my arm is sore. Checking it in the headlights of the not so friendly woman’s car who seems much put out she has to turn on her lights it looks okay if bloody. The ambulance arrives and the most awesum Cornish dude gets me in and starts checking me out. He makes jokes, gently rebukes, calms us, and gives me a shoulder to (literally) cry on. Reminding us we are alive! The main thing they were after is if I was drinking (a firm no). The police arrive, take my details breathalyse me, and then take the car away as they have no more interest, I’m insured, I’m sober no more to it.

Then of to hospital after as much stuff is retrieved as possible, including one of my fog lights!. After a wait I get seen, and what follows can only be described as torture! One hours of arm scrubbing and glass removal and stitches (13 ow ow ow!!). Interestingly I have unusually tough skin, good in some way, bad when being stitched. I always knew I was a thick skinned individual! 13 stitches and 5 shots of local anesthic later we are let go. We arrive back at our destination at 12am. 13 ¾ hours journey, a new record.

So what was that all about.

Well a lot to thank God for, only my arm was hurt, I mean I rolled a car, not many people say they’ve done that and walked out of it. Again thankfully God is in control. I AM ALIVE !!!

At the same time if God is in control why did he let me roll the car??

A lot of factors were in this, road conditions (wet and muddy as we found out later when looking back at it) my driving and tiredness not bad but could have been better.

Its just a whole muddy cauldron of “what2 and “why”. But thinking about God’s sovereignty this does reaffirm he in control, and I will have scars to remind me if I forget. I guess most of this I am still working through, I am very shaken up from it, but I suppose I can find comfort in the fact my work on this planet Is not done, God doesn’t want me to be with him yet.

2006-11-14T17:52:00.000Z

Three Practical experances of God's sovergienty
(Part 2)

This post is about an experience but it really isn’t mine. As I visited Sam last Thursday I was again reminded of God’s sovereignty.

Sam (he will be the first to admit) is not the most organised or time conscious person. So as relay began to approach its final term he had yet to do anything about jobs. However word alive approached. A fun (albeit cold) time for all). Sam chose to attend some of the “Godly man” seminars by Kent Hughes. In the second seminar being a godly man in the workplace they were split into small groups within the seminar. In this group Sam met a guy to did computer and software engineering, the same thing as Sam did his degree in. They got talking and went to coffee. It turned out this guy had his own business and was looking to recruit, he gave Sam his card and asked for his CV.

Now Sam being Sam waited a long time before handing in his CV, it happened that when he did do it the guy and his wife had been praying the night before for him and for his CV to arrive. Sam had his interview and got offered the Job.

Now if that was enough Sam’s fiancée’ Rosie also was looking for speech therapy jobs, they were hoping she would find somewhere that they could keep in close contact as relay had been a challenge with distance. Rosie applied for some, got some rejections but got a job in Watford…. where Sam had just got his job.

It amazes me that in the space of a month Sam and Rosie can both get jobs in the same area. Also the circumstances around Sam’s job are amazing. You can see God setting up people in places, using prayer and managing to use Sam despite his bad time keeping !!!!!!1

So application, well it seems if God can do all this for his children I know I can trust him in my present circumstances. I can see God’s full control over all this and am assured and comforted by it.

2006-11-12T12:20:00.000Z

3 pratical experances of God's sovergienty (and thier aplications)
part I

What follows is an account of last week:

I nearly hit a kid in my car. I was driving down the windy roads of Tunbridge wells to sainsburies, I had finished work so I was tired. It was a 30 zone but I was doing 24, which is slow for a road that I know, I am often round there at 30 as its normally clear and few cars on the road. I was coming round the corner past the bus stops and heading to the roundabout. Suddenly a kid runs out into the road, must have been what 12 or sumthing, but he runs and stumbles and gets up and looks at me and legs it. I slammed on my brakes stopping in time and gave him a blast of my horn. Stupid stupid stupid kid. I mean he ran our and stumbled. it was lucky I saw him!

what if I was going faster, even at 30 could I have stopped?

what if I had been checking my mirrors and missed him step out?

what if I had been looking down the road to the roundabout?

what if I had been not paying attention?

what if I had left a few seconds earlier?

what if It had been another driver?

what if he had properly fell instead of stumbling?

what if I was looking at the other side of the road?

what if my reactions (which are good) were not as good?

what if I had had a car fault?

what if the kid was smaller?

what if the kid hesitated and ran out a few seconds later?

what if

what if?

There is no reason on this earth that all that happened by co-incidence, on any other day that kid could be in hospital… or worse, why why why did it all go right?

Yes I was scared and shook up all day, yes I was exceedingly angry at the stupid kid, I mean things like that put life in perspective, it was lucky I saw him coz he ran out stumbled and was under my field of vision. shock.

It made me reflect. There has to be a sovereign God, I mean NO WAY should that have happened. There is a God and he is in control. it’s a hard lesson to learn, a lesson I often forget and a lesson I have to be constantly reminded of. Life, all life is in God's control, he chose to let that kid live, he chose to let me not hit that kid. Life all life is under God's control and rule.

It is also a lesson I need to live out and believe not just acknowledge.

more to follow.

2006-10-19T09:39:00.000+01:00

All over the world the message is the same:

This weekend I was in Germany visiting my girlfriend. Part of the experience was going to Church with her on Sunday. Obviously being in Germany the service was in German, so I sat through an 40 minute sermon in German. Now my German is not really that extensisive, 1 year at secondary school!

Anyway throughout the sermon I was picking up parts. The phrases I heard were “Jesus is the way” and “follow him”. It struck me that yeah I relay did not understand what the guy was saying but the parts I could understand reassured me, the message we preach here is the same as they preach there. In fact the message we have is a global message that is reaching across the world.

Strange to imagine that one day there were a few scared men and women sitting in a upper room fearing for their lives, yet unknowing about the wonderful thing that had happened. Then Their lord and saviour appeared to them. He did not speak English yet it was then the message of hope began. The difference was it was for the world and not just the Jews.

From there the message spread, it went out on Pentecost one message in lots of languages so that all might hear. Many many were converted. From Palestine to Rome, from Rome to the known world.

So today I sit on Sunday in church in Tunbridge wells and I know that in Germany the same message of salvation is going out. Jesus is the way, follow him

2006-10-07T12:42:00.000+01:00

I found this ages ago when googling my name. It is a university in Japan named after me. Well no its not names after me but we share the same name.

http://www.hannan-u.ac.jp/english/index.html

2006-10-06T21:38:00.000+01:00

1) "hello" "hello"
2) "fit in that box" [box reads job profile]
3) "excellent"
4) "jump through this hoop"
5) "good"
6) "congratulations you got the job"
7) "now just keep jumping through hoops till you die or reach 67"

2006-09-28T18:06:00.000+01:00

The Delusion Of Absolute Power:

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “absolute power corrupts absolutely”. Well I’ve been thinking on that recently. Reading one of my favourite books with a guy with either a big axe or a big sword fights a even bigger bad guy with an even bigger axe or sword to rescue the helpless damsel in distress who is his childhood sweetheart who lived in the village along with some form of self revelation yadda yadda yadda. Anyway in the particular book I was reading it had an evil queen who used to be a good character but became evil because he had absolute power. That made me think.

Does absolute power really corrupt? in the story it seamed to be used as an excuse to say that deep down she was a nice person. And I think more on what we see, Hitler, Stalin, Nero, and other dictators. We use these as examples to show what power does when it goes unchecked. We do not condone or excuse the actions but we also say the “power” they wielded had a part to play.

Does anyone have absolute power? Yes God, is he corrupt… NO! he is good and pure. This makes me think when people on this earth have great power they abuse it, Yet God has even more power and He is Good, then therefore the problem is not the power influencing us and corrupting us but instead Us using and corrupting our power.

Absolute power doesn’t corrupt us, we are already broken and corrupt. The power is just an extreme outlet for what’s inside ourselves that we would rather not see. All that vile, bitter, hateful emotions and our fallen humanity. The greater the power the more opportunity for our corrupt selves to be expressed.

We say power corrupts, why? Its because we are unwilling to face the fact that the evil done by men who have power is the same evil lurking in potential under our surfaces. We don’t want to see or admit we have a flaw in us so we look for reasons outside our fallen nature to explain evil. We see mass evil done by rulers and men with power and we want to give it a cause that is apart from our broken selves, we seek to blame the absolute power for corrupting men to do the evil we see. We delude ourselves to our own condition.

Absolute power does not corrupt us

A fallen nature corrupts power.

2006-09-20T09:46:00.000+01:00

Fill in the blanks

2006-09-19T12:44:00.000+01:00

Cooking with Jonny II:

Southern Comfort Peach Crumble

Ingredients

2 tins of peaches

3-5 shots of southern comfort

packet of digestives

butter

brown sugar

raisins

cinnamon

Instructions

Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees C.

Take a baking tin and grease with the butter.

Add the drained peaches with a little of the juice into the greased dish, and add a handful or two of raisins (depending on preference)

Sprinkle with cinnamon.

On top add the southern comfort spread evenly across the peaches. Again 3-5 shots depending on preference.

Take the digestives, and crush until they arte crumbs, mix with brown sugar then add to the top of the peaches. Sprinkle a dash of cinnamon on top again and a few raisins if desired.

Bake for 20-30 minutes until top is golden brown

Serve with custard or cream

For those who prefer a non alcoholic version you can cook without the southern comfort to give… well a peach crumble!

2006-09-15T17:25:00.000+01:00

WELL DONE DAN:

http://danielpeake.com/blog/?p=56

One of my old cell-mates (as in cell groups not dodgy prison style friends) was on the weakest link. I met dan in my final year as he joined uni he studies metology (the weather). He made the final 3 before being voted off. He survied torrents of insults implied as being both camp and wanting to be a weather girl, and survied Anne's trying to fix him up with another contestant. However his woefuly dreadful weather realted jokes made him look a tad foolish.

Well done mate, cut the weather jokes as you make both me and si look like comedy giants.

2006-09-03T22:50:00.000+01:00

ALL YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT BEER BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK:

Beer: is one of the world's oldest alcoholic beverages. It is a fermented beverage made from malted barley, hops and water, and is carbonated in almost all cases.

Larger: are the most commonly-consumed category of beer in the world. They are of Central European origin, taking their name from the German lagern ("to store"). Lager yeast is a bottom-fermenting yeast, and typically begins fermentation at 7-12°C (45-55°F) (the "fermentation phase"), and then stored at 0-4°C (30-40°F) (the "lagering phase"). During the secondary stage, the lager clears and mellows. The cooler conditions also inhibit the natural production of esters and other byproducts, resulting in a "crisper" tasting beer.

Ale: is beer that is brewed using only top-fermenting yeasts, and is typically fermented at higher temperatures than lager beer (15–23°C, 60–75°F). Ale yeasts at these temperatures produce significant amounts of esters and other secondary flavor and aroma products, and the result is a flavourful beer with a slightly "flowery" or "fruity" aroma

Stout and Porter are dark beers made using roasted malts or roast barley. E.g. Gunnies

2006-08-31T21:35:00.000+01:00

Things i learnt today:

No matter how good i think i can drive you still cant beat an Audi A3 desil in a 1.4 Feista!

2006-08-30T17:27:00.000+01:00

COOKING WITH Jonny I:

Stuff you need:

2 turkey burgers

some cheese (preferably cheddar)

mayo

Ham slices (3 is good)

Chunky crusty bread (or toast)

What to do:

Grill the turkey burgers as per instructions, when just about ready add on the cheddar cheese and melt it on.

Butter one slice of bread and add lots of mayo to the other. Add your ham (bacon works just as well) to the mayo side.

Insert the two burgers ontop of the butterd bread, combine the two slices to form a sandwich.

You now have the best EVER sandwich

Variations also inculde: letticue and tomatoes, tomatoe ketchup instead of mayo (is okay but mayo rocks), and pickle.;

2006-08-25T09:28:00.000+01:00

Q: Whats green, has six legs and would kill you if it jumped out of a tree ontop of you?

A: A snooker table

2006-08-23T22:23:00.000+01:00

Equal, yet soooo different:

what follows is a conversation that realy opened my eyes to the differnces between men and women.

Jonny: (after waiting for about 1hour for lindsey to get ready)- how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Lindsey: hey, I like it. It helps me to realx.

(pause)

Lindsey: what do you do to relax???

Jonny: .... i like to shoot things

(pause)

Lindsey: ... oh

Jonny: So to relax you like to do you hair and i like to shoot things.

(long pause)

Lindsey: (rolls her eyes)- Your such a boy!