Where will I be when I stop wondering why?

Home again.

2008-09-07T07:49:00.003-07:00

The vacation took a much different shape than I initially anticipated, but was still glorious.

My one great fear, that I would return feeling as if my decision to stay in Denver for 3-4 years was a mistake, did not come to fruition which was also glorious.

High points:
Crepes. Yes. Three times in a week.
JP Licks (frozen yogurt that rivals the Yogurt Pump. Seriously.)
Bojangles in the Charlotte airport.
A quick trip to New York- Kenny, my cousin Sara, and a jog in central park.
Jonathan and his fabulous new roommates.

And now, after nearly a week of responsibility free fun and relaxation, I'm buzzing with energy and excitement about my everyday life.

Today we kick off fall programing and I have my first event as an Iliff student.

Low point:
Tragedy (and I use the word as it is actually intended without any exageration) in NC that has very much affected many people who are dear to me.

More about all of these things later... but I did want to post something for those of you that are wondering if maybe I fell off the face of the earth.

Boston Bound.

2008-08-31T07:32:00.002-07:00

I am less than 24 hours from departing on a vacation unlike any I've ever taken... the purpose is simply to relax and be rejuvenated... and maybe spend a little time with Jonathan since I will be staying with him.

Things on the agenda:
running a lot (yay sea level!)
memorizing the first chapter of James
reading The Divine Conspiracy (something I've been meaning to do for years and certainly won't have time for when school starts)

That's about it... oh, and a quick trip down to NYC, which will hopefully include seeing my cousin Sarah and Mr. Pickle (and maybe the Metropolitan Museum of Art??).

Just because I haven't blogged in several days...

2008-08-27T08:15:00.002-07:00

Elisabeth broke her nose, and, despite assurances and messages that she is fine, her having had surgery of any kind makes me a little bit worried.

Elizabeth, note the Z, is having a baby! I'm super excited for her and Norm.

It makes me sad though, people having babies- like Elizabeth and my oldest friends Hope and Faith, and me being so far away. There are new little people in the world that I care for simply because they are part of people who are very dear to me... and yet who knows when I will get to meet and get to know them as individuals.

Speaking of little people- it has been a week since I took care of Ryan and Sean, and it will be another two weeks before I see them again! I'm really enjoying the free time, but it's quite weird that this big part of my life is gone for three weeks. I will definitely be happy to get back to them after all this time off.

Not that I haven't been busy... how that extra time fills itself so quickly I'm not really sure.

Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with everyone. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

That's a bit of the passage I've been emersed in the past week and a half.

There is a situation I'd appreciate some prayer about. Email me if you can do that for me. It's not really something that should be broadcast in to cyberspace... it's also not a massive crisis, but it is something that matters to me.

2008-08-21T14:38:00.001-07:00

Who are you, Nashua, New Hampshire resident, reading my blog?

I don't believe we know each other... perhaps an email introduction is in order? Yes?

megan.elizabeth.deluca@gmail.com

A long one, for those few of you who don't just skim these... so, mostly, Elisabeth.

2008-08-19T10:00:00.003-07:00

I feel like we’ve gotten things hopelessly backwards in the way that we bring people, or aim to bring people, into the folds of the church.

We’ve turned Jesus into something that people must believe correctly about, but if correct belief is the requirement for becoming a follower of Christ, then we’ve shut a lot of people out.

I picked up Richard Dawkin’s The God Delusion at the library yesterday, and the first few pages were a small part of what prompted this swirl of thinking.

Especially this quotation from Carl Sagan:

“How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, ‘This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant’? Instead they say, ‘No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.’ A religion, old or new, that stressed the magnificence of the Universe as revealed by modern science might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths.”

In order for correct belief to be the first step, that correct belief must make sense, it must make more sense than anything else.

But I hate to break it to you… when it comes to logic, proof, and the like, secular physicists, philosophers, and historians have really got us beat. Sure you can use all of those things to argue for the existence of God and Jesus… but secular thinkers do it better. And that’s ok. We’re not supposed to be arguing and convincing people into the Kingdom of God anyway.

When Jesus called His disciples He simply started preaching and ministering, and then said, “Come, follow me.” He didn’t ask them if they believed certain things about Him, He simply asked them to follow Him. They didn’t always get things right either, but they kept following.
What if we learned how to issue that same call?

What if we, as the church, learned to simply say… come, follow Jesus with us!

Wouldn’t that be extraordinary? Then all of those people who have been shut out by their inability to accept certain things- the divinity of Christ, the historical accuracy of the bible, the idea of a bodily resurrection, the depravity of humanity, the necessity of grace and atonement for sin, and countless others- would be invited to follow too.

Because even those people who think we’re nuts for believing so much of what we do, still often are compelled and fascinated by the message of Christ. I always come back to Kurt Vonnegut saying this:

"How do humanists feel about Jesus? I say of Jesus, as all humanists do, "If what he said is good, and so much of it is absolutely beautiful, what does it matter if he was God or not?" But if Christ hadn't delivered the Sermon on the Mount, with its message of mercy and pity, I wouldn't want to be a human being.

I'd just as soon be a rattlesnake."

And we wouldn’t need to be scared of people distorting the Truth, because our God is big enough for any question that’s thrown His way. He is Truth.

Jesus said, “If you continue in my word then you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.”

Following Christ is the path that leads to right belief, not the other way around as we’ve acted like for so long.

But what is this following that leads to an understanding of who God is and who Jesus is?

Loving God first, with everything in us. Loving other people more than ourselves. Self-denial. Self-sacrifice. Putting the Kingdom of God above all else. Not loving this world, it’s patterns, and the things it says are valuable.

That’s what we need to be doing, that’s what we need to be calling other people to. In attempting to fully live what Jesus taught us we discover who He is, who God is.

We come face to face with our own selfishness and sin. We realize just how incapable we are of true discipleship on our own.

And yet, we are transformed, and we realize that transformation comes from something outside of ourselves. We are healed, and we realize that healing comes from outside of ourselves. We love, and we realize that love comes from outside of ourselves.

In following Christ we come to know grace, we come to know Him as the son of God and our redemption, as death’s conqueror.

Faith that happens backwards, requiring belief in those things before commitment to discipleship, leads to a faith that is more about belief than discipleship and easily dismissed as a “god delusion.”

I imagine that this some of you are really bothered by this way of thinking. I’d like to hear that, and to understand it. Don’t just seethe internally.

be transformed by the renewing of your mind

2008-08-17T20:14:00.003-07:00

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12

I've decided I'm going to memorize this passage over the next two weeks.

Also, our gated community does not currently have working water. Lame.

2008-08-16T18:12:00.002-07:00

I'm watching Obama and McCain answer Rick Warren's questions at Saddleback Church.

I must say, the questions have been excellent- orphans, evil, energy.

Of course I liked a certain candidate's answers better.

But it makes me sad that they are both so quick to use Jesus to make themselves look good and to gain a position of power. I just don't think I believe much of what they say about their faith.

2008-08-15T19:24:00.002-07:00

In just over two weeks I will be vacationing in Boston.

In just over three weeks I will be starting graduate school.

In just over seven weeks I will be arriving in NC for my sister's wedding.

Today I finished the last bit of "stuff" I had to do in order to have all my ducks in a row to start school. Now I just have to show up for orientation.

If all goes according to plan, I will be taking a required colloquium class for first year M.div students, Hebrew Bible 1 and Christianity from the Reformation to the Enlightenment. Those of you that know me well will not be surprised to know that I'm totally geeking out about the latter two.

I've run my long runs on the treadmill three weeks in a row now. I was planning on running outside tomorrow, but it looks like it's going to be raining... I guess I'll be on the treadmill once again.

Treadmill or not, I can jog ten miles. That makes me feel invincible.

Insomnia is lame.

2008-08-13T00:41:00.004-07:00

I woke up in the middle of the night. It's really no good. I want to go back to sleep.

Periodically, and by periodically I mean nearly everyday of my life thus far, I have resolved to be more disciplined/productive/not procrastinate. It never sticks.

But lately things have been different. I often leave the house 30 minutes early and have time to stop and have coffee and spend time alone in prayer before I go to work.

I'm six weeks into training for a half marathon. I ran ten miles on Sunday. I work out five times a week and often end my work outs doing sprints.

Sometimes, and this is by far the biggest accomplishment in my eyes, I'm able to deny myself some sort of immediate pleasure/gratification if I think it's not a good idea- for example eating lots of chocolate and sugar in the middle of the afternoon when I know it's going to make me feel crappy later while I'm working out or drinking a beer or two in the evening.

This is quite a radical transformation. I'm anxious to extend this into an academic setting and to be a more disciplined student than I was a few years ago.

But, thankfully, on those days when I'm feeling invincible- the ones where I have a good workout and use nearly every hour of the day in a productive way, when I conquer the urge to plop down and waste time sitting in front of the television- something inevitably happens that takes me down a notch.

And reminds me to pray, "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me."

That's been my prayer lately.

I'm slowly reading through a book of Henri Nouwen's writings on prayer and at one point he speaks of a man who tried to pray that aloud continuously and found that the prayer became the constant echo of his heart.

It reminded me of when Anne Lamott wrote that the only prayers we ever really need are "Thank you, thank you, thank you." and "Help me, help me, help me."

It's beautiful how "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me" is a prayer that seems to melt and fill in the space where I need it whenever I pray it.

I'm glad that we're known and cared for by God, and that He knows my tendency towards lacking humility well enough to constantly knock me on my ass and remind me- you're not doing this, you can't transform yourself, this is Me.

I'm talking with Tiff, crazy night owl that she is. We're talking about the weird challenge that is accepting positive change in your life.

Because for both of us, Tiffany with a new and wonderful boyfriend and me suddenly being ridiculously in shape, we've lost these things that used to be part of our identity and that's a little unsettling regardless of how good the changes are.

Resting in my Savior as my all in all, standing on the promises of God...

2008-08-10T07:37:00.002-07:00

My life is a series of debacles and displays of my ineptitude.

Sometimes they are funny- like this morning when I walked into what I thought would be an empty office buttoning up my shirt only to find it occupied by two other church staff members. Why was I getting dressed you ask? I was putting my shirt back on after applying deodorant and brushing my teeth because I left crucial things in my car last night and my entire morning was a series of unfortunate events and I did not have time to retrieve them until after I'd stood up infront of the entire church to talk.

Sometimes they are not funny- like cookie baking failure last night when I'd gotten less than three hours of sleep at the lock-in and had been running around all day.

(Thanks to my roommates who rescued me from complete failure- I woke up to two plates of perfect cookies)

The past 24 hours have made me think of this.

2008-08-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow: Amy and Jessica!!!

A week off...

2008-08-02T15:10:00.002-07:00

The first week in September Steph is taking Sean and Ryan to Chicago.

It's also the week before I start school and the week before fall youth events start up. I could easily take the entire week, from Monday to Saturday, off from everything and not have to miss anything significant anywhere.

I've got to take advantage of this.

I'll be going to NC a month later for my sisters wedding, so I'm not going to use the time to go back there.

Eric suggested finding a cheap all inclusive resort somewhere tropical and chilling by myself and reading on the beach for a week. That sounds glorious.

Other options- Boston and hanging out with Jonathan, which was glorious a year and a half ago when I was nursing a broken heart and needed to get away... wouldn't it be even better now when the only thing I need to do is rest a little before the craziness of the fall and working and going to school full time sets it?

Or should I go somewhere that I've never been? California? Texas? Michigan? I've got friends in all of those places I could stay with.

Unfortunately there is no way to get a cheap ticket to Peru or the issue would be very cut and dry.

Randomness.

2008-07-31T19:53:00.003-07:00

For the few of you that didn't get the memo through mass emails, facebook, or gmail chat status messages... I changed my cell phone number. That last little thing that said, "North Carolina is my home" is gone now. It's weird.

I'm text messaging now too. There's definitely a learning curve. I'm super slow.

It's neat though, this immediate means of communication that is so much easier that actually making phone calls. I've "talked" to so many of the youth since my Monday trip to the AT&T store. I wonder if the novelty of them being able to text me will wear off or if this constant communication with them will be a new trend in my life.

Add text messaging to my level of dedication when it comes to email communication and Amy might have to revoke my title as the Queen of Noncommunication. A new one will need to be crowned. If only I could remember birthdays...

It's been a busy week, which is something I didn't anticipate, I thought things would be "relaxed" in my world after mission trips and vbs and other summery things ended.

Not all of it's been work though, and it is nice to get back into a schedule regardless of how hectic. I'd been missing Sunday mornings with the preteens and Jr. High and tutoring at Joshua Station without really realizing it.

Ammon made me talk on camera for the video he put together about the trip. Ugh. I hate that. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's the voice thing. Doesn't it weird you out to hear or see yourself recorded and hear what your voice sounds like to everyone else?

Pictures...

2008-07-29T19:24:00.004-07:00

In no particular order:

Ammon's birthday back in June. With the help of Caitlin and Lia, two of our Senior High girls, we filled Ammon's office with lots and lots of balloons. Note the Carolina blue.
Junior High Sunday school. I'm only teaching for the summer but it's such a blast. Here we're working diligently to create cartoon representations of the story of Jesus's baptism and temptation from each of the four gospels. Don't be fooled. Sunday school also includes activities such as discussions about why major league baseball is lame, throwing tennis balls at each other until we disturb the adults next door, and (a personal favorite) random bible verse skits.
My other Sunday school class. It may not be evident from the photo, but this is Madison and Lexi in the midst of their dramatic interpretation of the story of Deborah and Jael. Who knew nailing tent stakes through someones head could be so amusing to preteens?

One of Denver's many malls has a play area consisting entirely of giant breakfast food. Here, Ryan and Sean are enjoying some quality time in the cereal bowl.

Ryan is such a rockstar. He loves his helicopter and sunglasses almost as much as he loves the camera itself.

Breakfast Ryan style. When you're two and don't really enjoy eating at all, grown ups pretty much let you eat anything you want... yes, even cheetos and wheat thins for breakfast.

Erin and Heather on the Jr. High mission trip during free time. They certainly are girls after my own heart!

Abby and Maddie... rockin' out in the van to the eighties satellite radio station. I believe we were dancing and singing at the top of our lungs to Livin' on a Prayer.

My super hard working youthies!

When I came home from the trip to Alamosa I had a nasty cold that I still, a month later, haven't quite shaken. Ryan and Sean were also sick when I returned so we spent a good part of that first Monday being pathetic and sick on the couch together. Ryan, of course, felt the need to document the event.

Home.

2008-07-27T17:19:00.002-07:00

It was one of those days at church today, the really good ones, where it's not my job- it's something I feel really lucky to get paid for.

For those of you who haven't gotten the memo yet... I've come to a monumental decision in the past week or so.

I'm going to stay in Colorado for the indefinite future... at least the next 3-4 years until I finish school. Who knows what will come after that, I'm certainly not going to plan any further ahead. I've found that God keeps things interesting enough without me making plans and messing His up.

I certainly had no idea 2 years ago that I'd be living here. I had no idea six months ago that I'd be letting go of the idea of a big name graduate school and going somewhere that, while it's a good school, few people who aren't Methodists or Denver residents have heard of.

It's good though, for those of us Carolina grads who are slightly arrogant about our level of intellect, to be taken down a notch every now and then. And my theological education will be just as good even if the name Iliff isn't as recognizable as say... Boston College or Boston University or Harvard or Emory or Vanderbilt.

So, tomorrow I'm going to go and finally get a Colorado cell number... while I'm at it I'm going to get text messaging added to my plan, please don't think this gives you an excuse to text me instead of actually calling. I'm only doing it to keep up with the teenagers.

Weeds and wheat.

2008-07-26T08:47:00.002-07:00

I have a lot trouble with the idea of divine judgement. If God is loving and just would He really create something or someone that He wouldn't eventually reconcile to Himself?

But I've been listening to Matthew the past few days and it's the parts where Jesus speaks of judgement- of weeping and gnashing of teeth, of the burning of weeds after they are separated from the good grain- that cause me to pause.

The brilliance of listening to something read aloud is that we are saved a bit from our own prejudices in picking and choosing what to hear.

And so I'm forced to deal with this idea that my loving God and the Jesus that draws us closer to Him also dole out harsh judgement.

But maybe that judgement doesn't look like the judgement of the world. Maybe God's judgement does not rest on those people that the world sees as evil- the ones who have been so broken by the world, the ones who we fail to draw into the healing of God's Kingdom.

I have no idea how and when and if and why God's judgement comes to those who don't recognize Him. I'm really glad that one's not up to me.

The brilliance of Matthew, and the thing I've realized in hearing it, is that Jesus's words of judgement are for us- the people who claim Him.

Jesus told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared. The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?' 'An enemy did this,' he replied. The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?' 'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.' " Matthew 13:24-30

Like the goats among the sheep in Matthew 25, the weeds grow among wheat. God's judgement is upon those of us intimately intertwined with the Kingdom of God.

That's both a beautiful and daunting thing to consider.

On one hand we are freed from the burden of determining who is and isn't doing the true work of Kingdom building. We can't uproot the weeds without taking the wheat too!

On the other, doesn't it make it that much easier to become the weeds ourselves? Being part of the church no longer excuses us from God's judgement, in fact, it brings us closer to it. Being wheat and sheep is not an easy task. Living the truth of Christ's message is something that requires constant dependence on God and His grace, constant transformation, and acknowledgement that judgement will be upon us.

7:30????

2008-07-24T11:55:00.003-07:00

I woke up this morning to the sun shining in my window... not an alarm. In fact, I didn't even have a clock in the room.

I curled up in bed for a while and listened to the quiet in the house. I was sure it was after 10 and that everyone else was gone... and then I got up, and found that it was only 7:30.

So much for sleeping in.

It's been a glorious day though... I puttered around the house, made an omelet for breakfast, went for a hike, watched a little West Wing. Now I'm going to shower, grad lunch, and head into town.

$5

2008-07-22T20:16:00.002-07:00

I was at Cokesbury today picking up some stuff for Kerry, our new associate pastor, when the sales associate clued me in on something rather exciting- clearance shelves! For a mere $5 I could fill a good sized shopping bag until it was bursting at the seams from the designated shelves.

I came away with about 25 books. Some of the most exciting include Under the Banner of Heaven (which I've wanted to read for a while), a history of Evangelicals in the 19th Century, and the book I'm reading now- a modern paraphrase of a 19th century book from England by William Wilberforce (who was instrumental in ending slavery in the British colonies).

The highlight though was the 18 CD recording of the New Testament performed by popular African American actors, musicians and pastors complete with dramatic music.

Upon returning to my car I immediately popped in 1 John to hear the scripture I'd been through so thoroughly read aloud.

We often forget, in our world of literacy and abundance, that having a written copy of the Bible and the ability to read it is a gift that most early Christian's didn't have. The bible was meant to be read aloud.

When was the last time you sat and listened to several chapters of the bible being read to you in a single sitting? Have you ever? I'm not sure that I had before today.

Familiar words take on new meaning. Literary devices achieve their full potential.

I'm now in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount... I can't wait to get in my car tomorrow...

Home again, home again.

2008-07-21T07:05:00.002-07:00

The trip was excellent. I had fun. The kids had fun. Our crew was the best. "Top Gun" was lame.

Now I'm tired but VBS and everything else in my life is still in full swing... it's good though, I'm happy to be getting back into a routine, regardless of how busy it may be.

I've spent most of the summer reading and rereading 1 John. It's been good.

Louisiana was hot and humid, lush and green, the only need for long sleeves came when people where a little overzealous with the AC usage- none of this sudden 20 degree temperature drop nonsense. Sweet tea was readily available. Slow southern accents were no longer a surprise.

It was everything summer should be, I was in heaven.

But I found myself thinking, in the midst of reveling in the glory of southern summer, of how beautiful January in Colorado can be. Clear blue mornings. Crisp, dry cold and the glitter of fresh snow. Snow boots, scarfs, toboggans. No more gray and rainy winters.

On one hand it makes me wonder if there is anywhere on the planet with weather patterns that please me year round. On the other, it's nice to know that wherever I end up I'll find at least one season that I think is perfect.

This trip, getting to know some people I hadn't had a chance to before, made me realize, once again, how much I've settled into life. I'm looking forward to starting school here. To next year and changes at PUMC.

I guess this all boils down to the fact that I'm content here, despite the fact that settling here for this long was far from what I had planned.

And we're offt...

2008-07-11T04:22:00.002-07:00

Ten days, a charter bus, 20 something high schoolers, power tools, humidity, Louisiana, Sweet Tea?!!, ten other adults I like...

and three days of VBS craziness when I return.

Yes, life is good.

Pray for us... and try not to miss me too much while I'm absent from blogdom.

Pause.

2008-07-08T18:25:00.002-07:00

I'm tired.

This past weekend, despite being off of work, was really busy. We spent all day Friday and Saturday giving Virginia a taste of as much of Colorado as we could possibly pack in.

And the Sunday the week started all over again... we've had lots of meetings about the Sr. High Mission trip to Louisiana, and Friday's early morning departure is rapidly approaching.

Today, I had what I hoped was going to be a meeting where my role as whatever I am for the Children's ministry would be nailed down.

Instead, we laughed about our level of cluelessness and I came away with enough work to require me to go into the church office on Thursday (I was taking the day off to get back some of the hours I spent on the last trip), a gazillion questions, and a much larger role in planning and implementing VBS than someone who knew nothing, besides the days it was going on, a mere eight hours ago, should have.

I could have stayed late at church this afternoon and plowed through the new work... I would have enjoyed it, I like the challenge. But thankfully I decided to leave at the time I'd initially planned and just finish stuff up from my couch.

And then came the best moment of my day, when I was driving home and my brain was running a thousand miles a minute trying to internally organize everything that I've got to do in the next two days. I realized that I could get everything done with little problem. I'd be busy. I'd be a little frazzled, but it would happen. But I knew that I needed to stop for a minute. So I did. I stopped at a bookstore where I could sit and chill. For a few minutes I did nothing but relax and pray.

I hadn't been feeling the least bit down or stressed in a negative way, but the moment of pause really helped me to remember why I'm doing all of this in the first place. I spend plenty of time relaxing, but it isn't often that I stop with such purpose in the midst of a busy day. We really should do that more often.

Can vanity and happiness coexist...

2008-07-06T19:26:00.002-07:00

There is only one thing I must do in regards to my appearance. It is the only area in which I could be accused of vanity.

I have naturally monstrous eyebrows. I'm talking, a caterpillar like, face dominating unibrow (think Russell at the CAC's eyebrows on a woman's face). If I didn't wax my eyebrows people I meet would respond to me differently. It would change my interaction and I genuinely believe that it would make it harder to relate to and care for the people around me. So, I wax them.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with waxing, wax is usually not water soluble (if it is it doesn't really work well, trust me I'm an expert in this area). Once it's on you can't just wipe it off.

Friday, as I was applying wax to my left eyebrow some dripped onto my eyelashes. I tried to scrape it off to no avail.

I now have a 1/4 inch lash free section of my eyelid.

It's not something noticeable from a distance, but I like to point it out to people for a good laugh.

Yay for days off!

2008-07-03T10:52:00.002-07:00

Yesterday in the midst of a crazy day- taking care of the kids, tutoring, meeting, gym- I left before 7 and got home after 10, it dawned on me that I'd been a bit too focused on everything I had going on this week and I'd completely forgotten that I had three days off in a row.

It wasn't that I was super stressed or anything- it was definitely a good kind of busy, but I wasn't at all looking towards the future.

The realization, sitting in my car in the middle of traffic that I had an entire day free of obligations today and that Virginia gets in tomorrow and I have plenty of time to spend with her without thinking about work, was incredible.

Today I slept until 10:30 and I've spent the last hour and half eating breakfast, checking email, puttering about. Now Jessa and I have picked out some exciting recipes from my Vegetarian Times magazine (the subscription was the best birthday present ever!) and I'm going to go to the grocery store and then cook a yummy lunch.

Later there will be a late afternoon jog and an equally yummy dinner.

2008-07-02T11:30:00.002-07:00

I seem to have been constantly busy since I got back.

The children's minister at PUMC left recently. I'm not sure if I mentioned that, and I have a meeting with our new associate pastor, Kerry, on Tuesday to talk about exactly what me expanding my hours to help out with some children's ministry stuff will look like. That and a full course load in the fall is probably going to mean that I spend six days a week running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

I'm looking forward to it.

I completely violated my 3 day per book rule with Bound for Canaan. I'm still not done, but it's so good that I'm willing to make an exception. Thin pages and tiny words take longer to read. Who knew.

Things I'm currently contemplating-

Changing my cell phone number so that it's a Colorado number

Changing my plan so that I can text message

Buying an ipod so that I can listen to music while I jog. I've started training for a half-marathon (yes, again, but this time I've already paid for it so there is no flaking out on training three weeks in.) and music would really come in handy.

The last two cost money. Is it worth it?

Home again.

2008-06-28T21:38:00.003-07:00

Middle schoolers are exhausting. We had an excellent trip though.

Thursday, our last work day, we were supposed to spend the morning painting. My group had been looking forward to it all week- why middle schoolers think painting is so much fun I'm not really sure. But at the last minute it was decided that I would take half of our team to clean out the home of a lady who'd moved into a nursing home and had to sell her house but didn't have any family around to clean it up for her.

I prepared myself for a morning of lamenting the missed painting opportunity.

When we arrived we were asked to do a relatively simple task- sweep out the garage and porch area. I was mentally working out what to do with them for the rest of the morning, sweeping certainly wouldn't take that long.

But after sweeping, the kids determined that they could do more to make the house look good and help out the lady who'd been forced into a nursing home. So they got down on their hands and knees and scrubbed the garage floor and then spent the rest of the time we had pulling weeds.

As we were on our way to lunch our conversation turned to the extra work they'd done and they told me that while they were working and doing more than what was asked of them that they'd really felt the presence of God with them. It was incredible.

Then we went to the park for lunch where we played on the playground and had a burping contest.

Soon there will be pictures.