Makeup and Porn.

Everything is Wrong.

2008-02-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

Wow. I kind of forgot about this blog. It's hard to write random blog posts to you, Amy, when we talk on the phone like 300 times a day. It's not like I have anything new to type...

I still have my stupid job. I still fucking hate it. My boss was gone for a few weeks and I was deadly ill, but now that we're both back in the office he is bugging the shit out of me. I want him to leave the art department permanently and let me and Coop just run the joint. He is completely out of the loop and driving me nuts with his ridiculous directions. I have no major stories to back this bitching up, but it's always the same.

Also, I'm having all my health issues, which I won't go into again. But they're rubbing me the wrong way along with everything else.

And to top things off, I think fucking Hillary is going to get the nomination over Obama...which pisses me the hell off. I was at the laundromat earlier, watching the returns come in, and I got SO excited when they showed all the states that Obama had won. He won so many more than Hillary, it was amazing. But he was winning all the small states, which means he got fewer delegate votes than Hillary, which means come November I'm going to have to vote for the lesser of two evils yet AGAIN. I was so excited to maybe just ONCE have the possibility of voting for someone I actually WANTED to vote for rather than a damned robot. Boo.

That's enough bitching for now.

I'm Officially on a Diet.

2008-01-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

So ever since my father told me that I looked fat in the pictures that my mom and I took while she was here, I've been contemplating losing about 5-10 pounds. You know this. So in any case, my fat Asian ass decided this weekend to go and buy some Lean Cuisines. I mean, every girl at my job is trying to be skinny, so our communal refrigerator is stocked with Lean Cuisines, fat- free dressing, and all kinds of raw vegetables. All of the girls go "out" for lunch, bringing back salads with NO dressing, and then take their fat-free dressings and put a tablespoon of it into their greens, and call it a lunch. My friend, who is on a strict diet and works out almost every single day, convinced me that eating these low-cal Lean Cuisine meals would really help me to lose some weight. Safeway was having a sale on these frozen lunches, which are packaged in these super tiny boxes... so I bought six of them. The funny thing was that since they were on sale, the freezer was practically empty. The only meals that were left were the not-so-good tasting ones, like chicken with vegetables. We looked at the sections that were especially sparce, and apparently everyone who is on a diet was interested in eating the Lean Cuisine pizzas, steak and cheese, and all of the other fatty sounding meals.

In any case, I was really proud of myself for buying some, and decided that starting today, I would eat healthy. I got to work and ate some yogurt, granola and honey for breakfast. By 11 a.m., I was ready to eat my lunch. At noon, I went and microwaved my swedish meatball and pasta meal. I finished, and was ravenous. Normally, I stuff a container with whatever it was that I ate the night before-- macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, lasagna, or rice and sausage-- so this was a serious issue for me. By 2 p.m., I was scouring my desk for something else to eat, and found a Korean Choco-pie. That's like a Moonpie. Then, one of the girls on my team brings out this big ass thing of cookies she brought from Taiwan, and I started eating those. Then, I went downstairs to meet with another department, and ate a huge handful of Skittles. By the time 5 p.m. came around, I was so cranky and hungry that I just jumped ship and went home. I was completely nauseated from being on the train for so long with no food in my stomach that I came home and ate spaghetti with sausage, mushrooms, parmesan, and a tomato and basil bread thing that we got from the farmer's market.

I'm such a pig, and this diet isn't working. My friend told me that I needed to bring something aside from the Lean Cuisine, like apples or oranges, or a salad. So much for my quick fix, right?

So I have to tell you how funny it was today when you called me every other hour to tell me the latest about your mom's visit. Isn't it awful? I feel like such an ungrateful bitch when I get annoyed by my mom.

Anyway. Check the progress of my new site. The religious ads are now gone from the home page. Happy sushi-eating!

The Secret is a Crock of Shit.

2007-12-31T23:35:00.000-08:00

So after watching the DVD of The Secret, I decided that it was the dumbest thing on the planet. This proves that what Oprah touts isn't always what's good. She tries to push products that are soul-happy, but really doesn't get the job done. So I'm happy for you about your potential in-person job interview in the coming week. It's almost the new year, so I'm hoping that it'll bring you some good financial luck. Let's start with the lotto drawing tonight. Did it happen yet? And why am I still sitting on my ass when it's almost midnight? I haven't gone out on New Years Eve since I was 20 or something. It's so sad. I think you're at a party tonight. I'm sure I'll hear from you at midnight. Happy New Year!

So let's talk more in-depth about the Secret. Really, you and I both know that it's not really a secret. It's just a big, stupid farce, and only morons will benefit from this. This is the reason why I won't ever benefit from it. I'm way too negative. This might also be the reason why I can't get promoted, and am perpetually unhappy. Too bad The Secret isn't something you can drink or shoot up or something. If it was, then we could just take doses of it and change our lives.

Oh. Since I don't have anything going for my own product site, let me tell you about a couple of things I found for my hair today. I went to Walgreens and picked up this coconut oil hair treatment from the ethnic hair care section. You know how I complain that everything in California is ridiculously expensive? This wasn't. It's called Softee Coconut Oil for Hair. And, it cost me one dollar. That's right. But if you're not using it with a light hand, you're screwed and your hair will end up looking like a fucking grease pit. I literally used a tiny drop of it and put it on the ends of my hair and I loved it. And it smells like coconut. Do you even care about coconut oil for the hair since you shave your head?

Following in the coconut theme, I decided to cook coconut rice and thai green curry chicken. They all contained cans and cans of coconut milk. Have I ever given you a recipe for some kick ass coconut rice? I think I have, so I'll skip it.

It's almost midnight, and disgustingly enough, I haven't even showered yet. I have to go and do that before you call, and I have 15 minutes. So this will be the last blog of 2007. Hopefully we can get back into the swing of things starting in January. I sure hope you get to leave the adult industry this coming new year. But by God. Then we'll have to rename our blog "Makeup and Clothes."

Not so interesting.

One-sided Conversation.

2007-12-22T11:34:00.001-08:00

Hey there. I know this blog has turned into a one-woman show and I apologize. I'm just back into my full-on hate-my-job mood and I don't want to expend any more energy than I have to thinking or writing about that place. I was on a location shoot all day yesterday and I'm exhausted. When I got back to my office after the shoot, I saw an email from my Boss requesting some images. He had already left for the day. I had already put in nine hours and it was the Friday before Xmas weekend. So I didn't do anything about his email. I wonder if he forgot that I won't be in until January. Maybe he'll have to get off his ass and do something on his own. The horror.

Also, I'm really fucking tired of having to deal with his affair. Yes, his husband is out of the picture, so it's no longer an affair. But the hooker is around the office ALL THE TIME. When he's in town, he lives with the Boss. And lately, he's always in town, so maybe he actually does just LIVE with the Boss. I just hate that it's always there, in our faces, and no one says anything about it. It's totally going to blow up in everyone's faces.

I've been applying to jobs again. Like three in the past 36 hours. One's not here in LA, it's up in SF, so you would totally kill me if something came of it. But their application process is actually really interesting and challenging, so I'm still going to try and go for it. It's much more than "fill out this form."

I am so ready to eat holiday meals. I just found out that Mikey will be back in town after Xmas, so I think we'll hang out on New Year's. I won't have to be alone, crying, again! He won't be back in time for your Xmas dinner, though. I know he's sad about it.

I have tons to do this weekend before all the shenanigans begin. I need to get off my ass.

Sectional Madness!

2007-12-16T20:02:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how happy I am with our new sectional. Even though we won't repeat where we got it (it's still embarrassing, even though we paid over $2K for it), I have to tell you that sometimes it doesn't matter where you get stuff. Sometimes you have some damn good luck. So this afternoon, I made tortilla soup and just made a huge vat of chili, cornbread, and rice. I wish you lived closer. Then you could just come over every night for dinner. I'm planning on bringing my chili to work tomorrow to share. Wanna come?

I'm so glad it'll be the holiday soon. What sucks is that after this long stretch of days off (not in my case), we won't have another holiday to look forward to until Memorial Day. Maybe we'll win that raffle lottery and then we'll have the rest of our lives off. Just maybe. Maybe we'll both win. Then we'll really get to have time off from work. My ass would quit in a heartbeat, but I wouldn't be lazy about it. I would open a restaurant or something small. Like a little cart. And then I'd stroll around Hawaii with it, like the churro woman. In it, I would have chili and gumbo served over steaming hot basmati rice.

I forgot the story I was going to tell you about earlier this afternoon. You told me to blog about it, but now I can't remember. And, now it's time to eat chili. It's been simmering on the stove since 6 p.m. I'm still full from tortilla soup, but as always, I'll eat regardless.

I'm so fat.

Fair Trades.

2007-12-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

I know you read these as well as my e-mails, but I'll go more into detail about the disappointment I felt today when I opened this big ass box that came for me from my old skin care company. I do what I deem "fair trading." This means that when I hook someone up with some product and they have something that I want, we can make a fair trade. Such was the case with me and my old skin care company. You know that I'm completely obsessed with the product that my skin care company produced, and use it every single day. Imagine my excitement when one of the girls from the corporate office e-mailed me to tell me that she wanted to trade product for product! I was elated. So I scurried around the office with her wish list, and started putting all kinds of goodies into a box for her. And shipped it that day. She did the same. I should have been suspicious when she lightly glazed over my wish list, and then proceeded to tell me that she had acquired a whole bunch of "great stuff" for me, and would be shipping it later that day.

Two days later. My receptionist calls and e-mails me to tell me that my package has arrived. It's big. I run back to my desk and rip the box open, anticipating all kinds of goodies and professional sized skin care product, and all I see is bubble bag. I reach into the bottom of the box, and pull out samples. Paper samples. And a couple of "deluxe samples." Now "deluxe samples" can sometimes be good. They're usually the full component, shrinked down into really cute sizes. This was not the case here. I don't know if the company is changing its ways and becoming cheap, but these "deluxe samples" were about half the size of my pinkie, or put into tiny crack cocaine-sized ziploc bags. Not cute at all. Then, to make matters worse, she put in these old ass products. The company has done some major revamping to the components they used, and I know each of them like the back of my hand since I've been using them for years. She must not have known that I was that smart because she sent me old product. She even had the audacity to send me product that was expired. So in my anger, I went home and called my real hookup from the company and told her how I had been ripped off by her corporate office in my trade.

Thank God she had some major sympathy for me. She's meeting me this Friday to grant me all of the wishes on my wishlist. She's a savior. So the moral of the story is, some people are just plain bitches. I could have sent those things to people I really care for and like, but I thought I was getting a fair trade. I almost want to e-mail her a specific wish list and demand that she send me the shit I really want.

That was my story. I was completely livid all the way home.

Speaking of home, how about this plan for Christmas Eve and Christmas? Would it be acceptable if Lemonjello and I come to the city on Christmas Eve to meet you and then take you out to dinner, and then on Christmas you come to my house to eat? That way, we can spend the whole holiday together. It's up to you. That way, we'll get the moment in the city and then also have the suburban dinner and movie watching at the same time.

Tell me what you think. I'm still raging about that shitty package I got today, so I'm going to sit and draft her an e-mail, demanding that she send me product that wasn't repackaged two years ago.

The Secret.

2007-12-03T21:32:00.000-08:00

Embarrassment. I have to tell you that I was so desperate to be rich and successful after reading Susan Miller's horoscope that I got The Secret this weekend. There was a girl at my work who told me to buy it a long time ago, and I was embarrassed because I normally don't fall for the Oprah hype. But I've come to my wit's end about my lame ass life in cosmetics, and decided that I needed self-help. But I haven't even gotten through the acknowledgements in the beginning of the book yet, so I couldn't even tell you what "the secret" was. In any case, let's not talk about the secret. Let's talk about whether or not there was food at your 2nd work party tonight. Well, so was there?

Let me tell you something about cosmetics corporate America. It's getting on my last fucking nerve, but I really want to stay in it because of something I know and read about a while ago. Even when we were in the Great Depression, women were still really vain about the way they looked, so the one industry that stayed alive during that time was cosmetics and hair. Isn't that amazing? It's so true. So even if we have the worst recession ever, I think my company will still be making millions, or even billions at that time. And a company like MAC would stay around, even if we were all broke. The makeup there is just that good.

You know what else is good about being in this industry? Swapping. You tend to have a bunch of friends linked to this industry, so you get anything you want. For example, I have contacts at my old skin care company. I love their products, so I just ask people I know from there to hook me up with things, and in return, I get all kinds of stuff from them. And since retail and beauty are closely knit, I have friends at work who know other people in the industry who send all kinds of Friends and Family discounts to me each season. So it's cheap clothes, makeup, and skincare product all in one! I love it.

I have to go and read about the fucking secret now. But first, I have to apply this mega zit cream to that monstrosity on my chin that you saw earlier. Hope you had good eats. I'm ready to go to bed.

My new career.

2007-12-01T21:21:00.000-08:00

Okay. So Susan Miller from astrologyzone.com is almost always dead-on when it comes to my horoscope. So I read it today, and guess what it says?

At work, your professional status will climb higher with each successive
day. Mars will be shining at the very top of your chart, increasing your
visibility and upping your chances for an important promotion. While Mars
is, admittedly, retrograde and therefore weaker, he is still in your career
house and will do as much as he can. Your career will really take off when
Mars is back in good condition in your career house, so keep these dates in
mind: March 4 to May 9. That's when you'll take off like a rocket, getting
all the approvals you need, unlike now when you might feel a little stymied
by others' delay in getting back to you.

Jackpot! This means that I might get that promotion I've been dying for. But who knows if that'll happen. There are so many changes happening within my whacked out company that I don't even know if I'll have a job after January, but I sure hope so. I've been waiting for this promotion forever. And, since we just went and bought that nice sectional/ottoman today, I better be making more money so that I can help to pay it off. We got financing for it.

So that's all. I got my cranberry lotion today, so I'm just about the happiest person on the planet.

Sazon.

2007-11-30T20:44:00.000-08:00

Hi hi,

Right about now, you're at a show with that doctor guy. I hope you're having fun. My ass is at home, dreaming about the Kiehl's Limited Edition Cranberry Hand and Body Lotion. I'm not kidding. I came home, at Chipotle, made some mini chocolate chip cookies, did some laundry, paid my allergist bill, and then sat down here and decided to blog to you because I really, really want that lotion. And you're the only person who can understand my unhealthy fascination with all things cranberry. Guess what? We finally turned on the heat for the first time today.

Remember how I was telling you that the dog we're watching is really mellow and just lays down all day? Well, after we turned on the heat, the dog just started acting like a real dog. She was full of energy, eating, running around, and being excited. We think that we kept the house too cold, and she just didn't want to get up.

Do you find that when you know you don't have to work the next day you feel like you have a lot more energy? Every single day this week, I've come home and just wanted to go to sleep. Since I know that tomorrow is a Saturday, I have much more energy.

I'm even doing laundry. And running the dishwasher. And making cookies.
Speaking of cookies, I wonder if my company will let me off on Christmas Eve? If they won't, then how the hell are we going to do our traditional Christmas Eve dinner and last minute shopping around the city? Actually, we're not doing any shopping this Christmas. Our gift is going to be a sectional for our living room.

All of a sudden, I'm feeling really dizzy and sick. I think I'm going to pump some Emergen-C into my system now. Let me know how that Sazon works out for you.

I'm a fan.

Waiting....

2007-11-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

I'm at home waiting for the cable guy to show up. I came home at 11:30 this morning and now it's 2:15. I did laundry. I am DREADING my tax appointment at 4. Shivers.

You bought me something on ebay? I have no idea either. What surprises do you have in store for me? I will try my hardest to remember porn for your friend. It's tough to nab stuff when everyone's around. I think I'm skipping TV night with the girls tonight, so hopefully I'll get some sleep and actually make it into work early tomorrow so I can shoplift DVDs. Actually, I shouldn't try to be so shady about it. I think I'm one of the few there who never takes movies or gives them to people. I need to get my hands on the new one so we can watch me in the behind the scenes feature. Bwahaha!

I am afraid of your new obsession with AZNTV. Soon you'll be one of those women on the bus who talk really loudly in a language I don't understand while carrying little pink bags from Chinatown. Be careful.

I was going to tell you a story, but I can't remember now. I didn't do a damned thing at work this morning, so I have no new bits of drama.

Oh, question. Since I'm trying to pay off debt, do you think I should continue to pay extra on all my cards, or should I pay a LOT more on the one evil card and deal with the other two once the big one is empty? Your thoughts?

My New Obsession. You'll Hate This.

2007-11-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

I KNEW there was some drama happening at your job! It's just been so long since I've heard anything. I knew it was brewing. While you're at work freezing, I'm having a menopausal meltdown at my job. One minute I'm hot, the other minute I'm freezing and putting the layers back on.

I have so much work to do, by the way. And what makes me mad is that it's all work that the Boss doesn't feel like doing. This means that I get all of the shit work. You know how much I hate spreadsheets. My new role means more and more and more spreadsheets. I hate them.

So my new obsession is this show on AZNTV called "Coconut Coast." It's this really flamboyant guy named Reza Mahammad who is cooking all kinds of yummy Indian-inspired food, and the excitement is his personality. I have him recorded on DVR, just so you can come to my house and watch it. Better yet, set your DVR to record the show. You MUST watch it.

Speaking of your DVR, I hope it gets fixed. And your DVD player. And your Mac. And your taxes. And your student loans. And your printer. Speaking of stuff, your thing from ebay just shipped. I got an email today. It was so long ago that I don't even remember what it was that I bought for you. In any case, it's on its way.

I am so tired that I think that I might be coming down with the flu. I hope I am, really. This dog is making me sick, too. I sit and sneeze all day long. And it acts like a cat. And I love me some animals, but I think this one is depressed. She just sits and stares. She doesn't even get excited over me coming home. Who doesn't get excited when I come home? Crazy ass mutt.

So that's all for now. I can't wait for lunch on Friday. Bring the porn so that I can send it to my friend Eddie. I'll bring the goods I promised you. I can't remember what they are, so remind me.

Random Monday Rant

2007-11-26T17:24:00.000-08:00

So. Here are two minor, but still offensive, stories that happened in my office today.

First, you know that I'm the second person in my office every day, after the shipping guy who comes in before 7. So I get to work a little after 7 and go to my floor, where I'm the only one for about 2 hours (you know I love that). This morning was particularly chilly (by my LA standard, at least) and I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, a vest, and the scarf you bought me so I could dress up like a terrorist. We have a freight elevator in my building that opens at the end of my floor, about 25 feet from my desk. When the doors are open and it's cold outside, we get this freezing breeze from the elevator shaft that rolls through our floor. The thing is, I'm the only one it hits. So I sit at my desk with a numb arm and hand, shaking, all day long. Since I'm the first one in and it's colder in the morning, I closed the doors in order to block the wind chill factor. And since it's the art department, you know it's really dark as it is, but with the doors shut it's pitch black. What do I care, as long as I'm not cold, right?

So the Boss comes in two hours later and sees the doors closed. He goes, "God it is SO DARK in here. It's ridiculous! Do you mind if I open the doors or are you going to burst into flames?" Like an asshole. So I say, "I don't mind the light at all, but when the doors are open, I freeze from the breeze." So he stands there for a second, decides HE doesn't feel a breeze, and opens the doors and walks away. Excuse me? I know it's dark, but his desk is allll the way on the other side of the office (where there are overhead lights), and on the opposite wall from the elevator opening. He's an ass. So I had to freeze all day, until I went outside for lunch and sweat through my clothes.

The second story...I hate this model. A lot. Actually, pretty much everyone hates this model in the office. He is the butt of most of our jokes. I think I read some passive-aggressive web text to you once where the writer was totally going after this model and it was hilarious. Anyway, the main part of my job is photo editing. I am responsible for picking the layouts that go on our site and to magazines and on boxes and whatnot. So this model, who thinks he's is the biggest thing porn has ever seen (even though he's as tall as you), recently signed a contract with us. Not only are we stuck with him, he is going to start producing his own films. Because of that, he thinks he is now PART of OUR company. Like he's a partner. I swear to god, if he becomes a partner, I'm walking. So anyway, since he's joined us, he's made all kinds of little diva demands and the latest seems to be that HE is picking the pictures of himself that we are allowed to use. Can you BELIEVE that? Like, he went to the Boss and asked to see (and HAVE) his full layouts that we shot a few months ago and he sent a list back saying which ones to use and for what. Like, use #whatever for my main shot, and #whatever for this ad and shit. So today I went through his stuff and did my normal edit for the member site (which is way bigger than what he picked) and I didn't even end up PICKING the ones he liked. He has no objectivity on the images because he's in them. Just because he likes an image does NOT mean he looks cute in it. And trust me, he didn't. But the fact that the Boss is allowing this REALLY pisses me off. When he told me about it last week, even Coop looked up from her desk and was like, "What the hell is HE picking his own shit for anyway??" and the Boss just walked away. Nice, right? Way to compromise my place in the company, asshole.

That's all. Carry on.

OOOOoooooooooooHHHHH!

2007-11-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

WOW! We both had breaking news from our jobs today. Too bad I can't post mine here. I KNEW something would happen if the husband found out about the affair with the porno model. I love it. I anticipated coming home and cooking immediately, but I realized that I was suffocating from strange fumes from the oven when I was preheating it, and then remembered that I had seasoned two woks when my mom was here, and it dripped all over the bottom of the oven and I have to clean it up before cooking toxic gingerbread for Thanksgiving dinner.

I am so excited for you guys to come to my place. It's like 70 degrees outside. I just walked home and almost died from the heat. I wish we had a nice cold Thanksgiving like back in the east. I hope you've gotten home. Call me so that you can give me the other breaking news you wanted to share when I was passing out from the stench of the train this afternoon.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

2007-11-20T19:14:00.000-08:00

I know I've neglected our blog, and really disappointed our legions of fans, but I finally have something to write about.

I think, THINK, the Boss and his husband have split up. Insane! There was a secret meeting between the Boss and the Big Boss today, and they did it at the Big Boss's house instead of the office, so it was all weird and sneaky. It could have been about the amount or the lack our of holiday bonuses for all we knew. But then Coop IMed me and said she heard the Bitch on the phone earlier with the Boss saying, "I'm sorry it turned out that way." And then when the Boss came into work (at 2:30pm), the Bitch was on the phone with someone and when the Boss walked by, the Bitch said into the phone, "I'm sorry, but you're BREAKING UP...I can't hear you" all loud and trying to be funny or something. And the Boss had asked me to do a shoot last Saturday because he had to go to "couples counseling." I wanna know what's going on. The meeting could have been about how he needed more money to make his mortgage payments because he was too busy fucking one of our models to handle his marriage and now HE's the one getting fucked.

Such drama. I feel bad for him. But then again...

Military Scarves for Everyone!

2007-11-05T20:33:00.001-08:00

Since this is now my own little blog to you, I decided to out you. I have to show everyone what you got, and what you wore home from my job.

I wish this photo would show how it can wrap around your head, but I guess it's not the right one. OH! Here's the right one:

Now that I've seen it on you, I think I have seen it around this city. How exciting! I've been on the fingerless glove trend for years now, and it's catching on fast.
Do you know that since we had daylight savings, I am even more exhausted when I come home from work? I have a whole lot of energy when I get to work, and then by the time it's time to leave, I just want to die. I even fell asleep on the train on the way home today.

Okay, so I'm going on a tangent already, which means that it's time to watch some DVR'd Prison Breaks now. I wanted to add some color to our site. I'm glad you like your shemaghs. Is that a plural word? I expect to see you wearing that every single time I see you from now on. And hello? My friends want some gay porn. Hook a sister up.

The Lady Who Smelled Like Ikea.

2007-11-05T13:00:00.000-08:00

Good Morning.
So I had written this blog this morning when I came in, but the system at work was screwed up, so I lost the whole thing. And now the excitement over what I was feeling when I came in this morning is gone. But I'll tell you anyway. I got on the train this morning, and normally, someone who has bad breath, body odor, ethnic food scents, or cigarette smells comes to sit beside me. Get this. This morning, someone got on the train and sat next to me and she smelled like IKEA! I mean, I could hardly contain my excitement! I LOVE the way Ikea smells. It's like cinnamon buns and Swedish meatballs, all in one. I was so euphoric on my way into the office. I just had to share.

Now that I'm here, I'm completely unmotivated. Trying to get the company from a million dollar company to a billion dollar company apparently takes a shitload of work. And, have I told you that lately there is a large exodus of people leaving the company for other opportunities? We must not be as great as we think. We suck.

I just ran over to the bank to deposit this very small amount of money into my account since I have $50 left over. I have to get back to looking at my spreadsheets. God, I hate numbers and spreadsheets. I'm in the wrong business, for sure.

She Slipped Up on Daylight.

2007-11-04T12:53:00.000-08:00

Hi! I know you're being a hermit this weekend since it's one of your few days off, so I didn't call you. Instead, I'm getting my place ready for Mom's visit next week. I'm so excited, yet so flustered because I realize that I have a ton of work to get done this week because I won't be in the entire time Mom is here. Yippeeee!

So this weekend has been really productive. Seriously. I bought the cutest fingerless gloves (you know I have about 40 pairs of these- I'm completely obsessed) from World Market, along with a bunch of cute little notecards. I'm sick and tired of spending so much money on expensive Thank You cards. I found these for cheap. We also looked around for some furniture for my other bedroom. Not furniture to live on, but furniture to store all of my products. We were too cheap to buy real furniture (we're really trying to buy a house. Maybe 30 years from now), so we got a storage thing/cart for my product, and I love it. It's on wheels. We came back and cleaned the house a bit, and did some rearranging. I'm secretly in the mood for some boba, but I don't know where the hell to go without having to drive. I'm making candied chicken tonight for dinner. Have I made it for you?

When I started writing a minute ago, I thought I would have a lot to say, but I don't. So I'm going to stop. I totally don't want to break down next week like I did this past week, so I'm hoping that nobody sets me off. I need a fucking promotion. How can anyone live in California and afford a $4 loaf of bread on these salaries?

Red-Headed Stepchild.

2007-11-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to neglect our baby over here on blogger. I just haven't had anything interesting to share. And when i do, it's so damned busy over here that I can't take the time to write about it.

It's just the same old bullshit here in my office. People being extremely loud and rude, me buried under projects, people losing their minds. It's actually calmed down a little bit, but I still have a thousand things going at once.

So last night, for my other job, I decided to wear those wingtips I bought months ago. For the first time. I got like two blocks from my house and was in unbelievable pain. Like, I could barely walk. But I didn't have time to turn around and change. Amy, it was so bad. By the time I wobbled home, ALL of the skin had been ripped from the tops of BOTH of my pinky toes. They are RAW and exposed. I have them each double-bandaged today. So OW. I didn't think about wearing them in. But now that I had that much pain, I don't know if i can ever put them on again.

Oh, also, I was reminded last night after I got there that it was a special event night, so I had to stay later than normal. My day was 15 hours long. I was pissed. I went home and watched my DVRed Survivor and Ugly Betty. So it was closer to a 17 hour day. I didn't get to Grey's yet. I think I've given up on that show now. It's totally gone off in some retarded direction and I can't hang. But Betty is still good. Did you watch last night? "What do we want?!" "Integrated chocolates!!" "When do we want them?" "NOW!!" I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Thank you for sharing your Halloween office party pics with me. You are correct. I do hate Halloween, especially in this city. People don't know how to act. I went almost the whole day and night with forgetting it was even Halloween. Except Coop was wearing cat ears at work, which is something she would totally do, so I didn't even really notice.

I hate astrologyzone now. Why does she have to confuse me so?

My Blog.

2007-11-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

Hello Buck? Where the hell are you? You've e-mailed me and I've talked to you today. Did you forget about our little stepchild blog site?

I had the most fucked up day today. I was in a bad mood to start, and then when I got to work, I immediately started getting my shit together and actually had a long-term assignment to work toward. But then, as you know, my ass had to go to the Social Security office, and then the afternoon was shot. Who knew that at 11 in the morning, vagrants would be lined up there, demanding money?

Then, I meant to tell you. Since we're doing a mass restructuring (we're trying to become a billion dollar company or something), we had to meet with the new leader today to discuss our "new" roles. Of course I thought this meant that I would get my promotion and be happy, just like the lady on astrologyzone said. That wasn't the case. I mean, I love the new leader and everything, but he was telling us that he was going to bring all of these other people in, and it really sounded like I wasn't going anywhere. I really think he's an MBA snob, just like the HR people are in my company. I mean, it's actually pretty disgusting, if you think about it. I have a higher education- it's just not in business. It's more useful than being in Business Administration. Granted, when the Boss asks me for gross margins, I have no fucking idea what she's talking about, but I really think that people who have their MBAs are always saying shit and asking questions to executives that they got straight from their textbooks and lectures. No kidding. I'm going to go and buy the most used MBA textbook from Harvard's Book Exchange, and I'll be able to schmooze like the best of them.

I was in such a foul mood today that I scared the entire team. And, for good measure, I walked out when the day was done and didn't say goodbye to any of them. Working around a bunch of women everyday is not uplifting at all, just in case you want to know. I wish I could post the picture of the Halloween party we had yesterday. But then I would really lose my job.

Did I tell you how wasteful my company is? Let me let you in on a little secret. Since it's a "trend," the PR Department was talking about doing something "green" so that we could jump on the bandwagon of Ralph Lauren and some other giant fashion or beauty company. Meanwhile, we have the most packaging, ever. It's like 500 layers of packaging and plastic. And, you'd be glad to know that our office is SO wasteful. We have styrofoam cups (big boxes of them) that we use everyday. People don't use mugs. We have one recycling bin that people use as a trash can, and people make color copies every single day. You should see the copy room. There's paper everywhere. People forget that they copied shit, or printed stuff out. Literally, there is so much paper all over the desks and what not that we would be named the biggest liars if someone was to do an undercover check on our level of greenness. I'm ashamed to be a part of such a company, but look out! If in the next month you see us doing a big promo and pretending to be eco-friendly, you know who told you it was a lie. A HUGE lie! We waste paper! We use styrofoam! We don't recycle! We have lots of trash and plastic packaging. Sometimes we even use tissue paper in our packaging! And, I've seen people using aerosol hair spray in the bathroom.

And, most importantly, know that our company's philosophy was never anything about being environmentally-friendly. We just decided to do that in our last meeting. Look out, world! God- I wish I could tell everyone which company I worked for. It would be SHOCKING!

Halloween Humiliation.

2007-10-31T16:22:00.001-07:00

OMG. I can't even tell you what I just witnessed at our company Halloween celebration. We have a costume contest by department, and everyone (except for mine) went all out. By default, all men (both gay and straight) were dressed in drag and had on a ton of our makeup. You know how much I hate Halloween. If I remember correctly, you don't care for it, either. The only reason I went was to get out of work. Now I'm back at my desk and I have some more time before I leave. You don't know how much I just want to go home and go to sleep. Some of the costumes here were just embarrassing. I felt like I was back in elementary school where everyone was dressed like a fairy princess or a witch or a wizard. Embarrassment.

Anyway. We have also converted to a new recycling program here in my office, and now our normal trash cans are about the size of a pencil cup and the recycling bins are attached to them and are the size of a dumpster. I have no idea what goes where. In my country, we don't recycle. We have one bin. And all trash goes into it.

Nail heaven.

2007-10-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

Hi. So I just got back from getting my nails done across the street. I wanted out of there pretty quick so that I wouldn't be gone long from the office, but my stupid ass went there with no flip flops, so I had to leave there all prematurely with my running shoes on. Needless to say, the toes are a mess. What happened was that I was trying to leave, so I put on my socks and shoes. The lady expressed some concern that I would ruin my toes, so she made me take the socks and shoes off so that she could wrap them up in saran wrap. Now they're ruined.

Anyway. So what sucks is that the people in my team are miserable. There is a real bitch at the top of our company who just can't stand one of the girls on my team. She makes it really obvious, and since she's pulling in the big bucks, she can. I hate that about cosmetics. If you're dumb, you're constantly trying to outshine the people who are smart, but if you're smart, you're low-key smart. It should be the other way around. Soon there's going to be a shakedown at my company. I can feel it.

There are just too many morons at the top of the food chain here at work. It's out of control. And, could the office be any messier? Seriously. With all of the women up in here, you would think we would try to keep things clean. Not so. This place, my desk included, is a mess. And I'm hungry again.

Sometimes I look in the back of my WWD newspaper and look through the job opportunities there. And, sometimes I wish I worked from home. Or from Hawaii.

No More Thai.

2007-10-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

Let's ban Thai from our list of foods to eat. I am so sick from lunch that I might just throw up here at my desk. I just got back from wandering around the office. I have nothing to do today, and until we find out more about this skin care thing, I don't know for sure what I'll have to work on, or when.

My new boss just left. It's not even 5 p.m. I have a feeling that he's not going to give a damn when we come or go.

Sweet.

The Wonderful World of Cosmetics.

2007-10-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

So, like we were discussing, wouldn't it be easier if we didn't have to be so vague about where we worked? It would be so much more interesting that way. I would have so much more to tell you, and then it would be much more interesting to read. So lately, our office is working on a massive clean-up. I mean, it's just such a mess in here that it's completely embarrassing. My old skin care company would absolutely freak if they saw how disgusting it was in here. Anyway, since we're doing this mass cleaning, we're throwing everything out. That means that there are bins and bins full of makeup that are just being tossed in. People who love our shit would dive into the bins and swim through all of the product, and want to take it home. Me included. But I'm so tired of seeing makeup that I just want to throw up. I literally trip over it on the way in to my area.

This is why I don't understand how companies can discontinue things and claim to have none available. There are plenty of units left over in the corporate office! I swear it.

I have a meeting in a minute with someone who is new and who doesn't know how to read one of our department's many spreadsheets, so I've been tasked with helping her.

Was the woman on the set you're talking about the one you sent me a picture of? How interesting! We don't ever have anyone famous in our office, unless you want to count your loyal highness of cosmetics.

And yes. Could it be any hotter here in LA? I just want to die.

Is this seriously my life?

2007-10-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

I am SO TIRED, Amy. I can't even believe it. It's Thursday, just after 10am, and I'm quickly approaching my 40th hour of work this week. This isn't including the 13 hour day I did on Saturday. I was here until 10:30 last night and I came in before 9 today because I have to leave early for my OTHER job.

I sent The Boss an email yesterday to which he never responded. After he left yesterday, I went to his computer, checked his email and saw that he actually received my email and read it. My email said, "Since I worked a full day last Saturday and I am losing my mind, can I please take Friday off as a replacement day?" Why is he not trying to respond?

So last night, the stupid director who has been pissing me off for the past two months decided yet again to invite a woman to the set. To sit there. The whole time. For no reason. Now you know I love the ladies. You are fun to shop with and fun to gossip with. But there is no need for you to sit on a gay porn set and make the models nervous and un-boner-y. When told that said female was making a model uncomfortable, his response was, "No, that's not why he's having a problem." Um, thanks? So after some coaxing, he asked the woman to leave. And then decided to leave with her. While we were still filming. And he's the motherfucking director. Amy. What the hell?

I am still waiting on a response to whether I can take tomorrow off. If so, I'll just come to you for lunch and we can take our time. I really want to sleep in and then clean my house and work on some art. My friend sent me the new splash page for my new site and I'm super-excited about it. But I have to kick my ass into high gear to get some new stuff to put on it.

Oh, and seriously, could these fires make LA any hotter? I am sweating like it's July. I feel so badly for all these people having to evacuate and whatnot. Have you seen the NASA pictures of the smoke coming off the coast? It's crazy. Are we going to have to evacuate soon or what? I am now physically in hell as well as figuratively.

Garden State.

2007-10-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm back to being dressed like a mountain man today, and I had a run-in with one of our new higher-ups. Seriously. I don't know how I manage to get myself entangled in these kinds of situations. I meant to tell you. I had Lemonjello download the Garden State soundtrack to my iPhone, and I thought of you when I listened to it. It's all of the music that you give me-- in one! I love it. And I'm listening to it right now.

I am so tired and so sorry that you have to be filming all night long. I wish I could just sleep in. My co-worker just got diagnosed with a yeast allergy, and the list of foods she has to avoid is longer than mine!

I had more to say, but I have corrections to make on my training sheets. Embarrassing. I'm the writer, dammit!