Beyond the Fried

Makeover

2009-11-22T22:14:00.000-06:00

I get a makeover tomorrow!

My friend Jessica, who has worked in the fashion industry for several years, is going to survey my wardrobe and then take me shopping to infuse some style into my life.

I've always struggled in finding the knowledge and patience to dress well, so I'm excited to receive help from a professional.

Now that I'm a mom, I need outfits that are machine-washable and easy to throw together. I find myself wearing jeans and Predators t-shirts more often than not, with the occasional workout pants thrown in. I have a couple of cute outfits, but they generally have baby drool on them after a couple of hours; then I'm back to jeans and t-shirts until laundry day.

I do have several nice pairs of pants and jackets that are dry clean only -- right, like those will see the light of day in the next five years.

I am a little nervous about the makeover. I don't weigh what I would like to weigh right now, and buying clothes in my current size means admitting to myself that I'm not as healthy as I would like to be. I think that vulnerability and honesty is only going to help me be more confident in my clothing choices. If I'm feeling brave, I may post "before" and "after" photos for my fashion adventure. Wish me luck!

Dear Inventors,

2009-11-19T23:26:00.000-06:00

I would like an alarm clock that taps into my sleep patterns and wakes me after a perfect interval of sleep.

Say I want to nap for about 30 minutes. Perhaps I am open to sleeping for as little as 20 minutes or as much as 45 minutes, depending on what would help me feel most rested. I want an alarm clock that can read my mind and wake me up at that optimal point of rest.

An added bonus feature would be a soothing yet firm voice that speaks whenever I hit the snooze button, reminding me that the extra 20 minutes of sleep in 5-minute increments really doesn't count as extra rest.

I would like all this for under $50, please.

Geniuses, get to work!

To Be Known

2009-11-17T00:01:00.000-06:00

I was very, very excited to discover The Introvert's Corner, a new column by Sophia Dembling on Psychology Today's website.

I doubt I would have bothered to read anything from Psychology Today if I hadn't noticed a link posted by a Twitter friend. "The inside scoop on your introvert friends" was such an accurate portrayal of my life that I knew had found a kindred spirit in Dembling.

Of course the terms introvert and extrovert are widely known, and much has been written and debated about them. But this particular column has helped me feel not quite so crazy here in my little introvert cave. Yes, there are others like me, so much so that we get our own column!

So if you are an introvert and you want to be reminded you aren't (necessarily) a crazy hermit, or if you are an extrovert and you want to know why your introvert friends never answer the phone, check out The Introvert's Corner.

Halloweenery

2009-11-05T22:35:00.000-06:00

The whole Halloween thing is weird. I loved Halloween when I was a kiddo. I loved dressing up in a costume, and I loved eating candy. And yes, I still love both of those things.

Everybody I knew went trick or treating. We received admonitions to check our candy and make sure it was safe, but other than that Halloween really wasn't a big deal.

Nowadays it seems like everyone is lining up on one side of the holiday or the other. Or another. I'm pretty sure it's a polygon.

I have a Facebook friend who wrote that she can't understand why other people don't understand that she finds nothing to celebrate in Halloween. And then there was the article I saw that claimed demons climb into bags of Halloween candy at the grocery store.

Nancy loves Halloween because the next day means the start of the liturgical Christmas season. Some of my friends wish everybody a happy Reformation Day (that cracks me up -- I love that!).

Another Facebook acquaintance said that if someone dresses up for Halloween at their place of work, that says a lot about them. I inferred a negative opinion from that, which irked me slightly. Probably because I would TOTALLY dress up if I had a workplace that encouraged it. In fact, some days I feel like dressing up as an elf princess just for fun. (Haven't found the courage or the dress for that yet.)

Paul isn't a big fan of Halloween. He questions a holiday that has kids go door-to-door asking for candy from strangers. I definitely see his point there, both with strangers and with candy.

I don't like the macabre aspects of Halloween that some people celebrate. Definitely could do without haunted houses and ghoulish masks. Definitely would prefer to never see the cartoon version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow ever again.

But I do love candy. And I do love costumes.

Perhaps we could create a new holiday that has nothing to do with Samhain or All Saints' Day or witches or ghosties. Just a lovely day dedicated to the wearing of costumes and consumption of sugar. Who's with me?

Transitions

2009-10-31T12:30:00.000-05:00

Closed is such a funny word. Closed. Closing. closed. If I type it enough it starts to look incorrect, like maybe it should be "clozed" or "cloased."

Today is the last day of ghia, my store. I'm going to concentrate on being a full-time mom for awhile. Actually, I already was a de facto full-time mom, and the store as getting short shrift. So I'm closing it.

I'm excited to close it. I'm excited for the extra brain space it will give me. I'm excited that I will no longer have to do paperwork and taxes. I'm hopeful that I will become less likely to define myself by what I do and more apt to define myself by who I am.

I'm sad, too. Sad that I will no longer go on fair trade shopping sprees to find products my customers will like. Sad that something I worked so hard to create will no longer exist.

But the hardest thing for me is the change. I liked where I was before, and I like where I am going, but the journey can be quite rocky and painful. Closing the store today involves me clicking a button, but the emotional toll feels like 12 hours of work. I want to be done and through the process and in the happy fields of freedom, not on the foggy plains of transition.

This time is reminding me of when we bought our house. As we were leaving our apartment for the last time, I got kinda teary and wondered if I was ready to leave apartment life, despite the awesomeness of the house that was waiting across town.Of course I was excited about home ownership, but the finality of leaving the apartment scared me.

Transition really seems to be the word around here. Ian is transitioning to his big-boy car seat and stroller right now, and he's also transitioning to somebody with teeth! That, too, is a bit stressful for me -- when do we install his new seat? When do I put him in a restaurant high chair for the first time? When can he eat a teething biscuit?

So the moral of the story, kids, is that I don't like change, even when it is good. But, as Relient K so eloquently puts it, "When the burden seems too much to bear, remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

Calling Control -- Come In, Control

2009-10-25T13:04:00.000-05:00

For much of his short, little life, Ian has been on medicine for acid reflux. Originally I hated the thought of giving my baby medicine, but it provided him such relief that I learned to be grateful for the option.

The medicine is supposed to be given four times a day before a feeding. Sounds easy enough, but those four doses often could be challenging for Mommy and Daddy to remember. Once Ian was down to a solid 6 meals a day, we developed a good system wherein we gave him his dose at all of his "inside" meals: i.e., not the first nor the last meal of the day.

Of course, once we went down to 5 meals, we lost our groove (is it possible to have a medicine groove?).

A couple of weeks ago, I gave Ian his medicine and his bottle and then put him to sleep for the night. A few minutes after he fell asleep, I realized that I had given him an extra dose of meds that day.

At first I figured, hey, no big deal. He started on this dosage when he was several pounds lighter, so logically he can handle more of the medicine now. But then my mind starting churning. What if it DID make a difference? I mean, this is MY CHILD, it's not like put too much baking powder in cookies.

I think about calling poison control, and my mind develops two scenarios -- one involving them sending a racing ambulance with paramedics who laugh at me for worrying two much, and the other involving me trying to give Ian ipecac to get him to throw up the extra medicine. Ummmmmm, no thanks.

Where to turn? The pediatrician's office is closed, and they don't have a nurse line. I could call my pediatrician at home, but I hate to disturb him if this is no big deal. Hey! My husband's company has a nurseline; I'll call them! Hmmm......looooooong wait..............waiting.......waiting.........DON'T THEY KNOW MY BABY COULD BE DYING?!!!!!?!?!

Okay, the pharmacy, they would know. Argh! They closed 5 minutes ago!

At this point, feeling rather sheepish but determined to keep Ian safe, I call a 24-hour pharmacy.

"Hello?"

"Hi, um, I don't have a prescription there but I'm hoping you can help me with the question anyway????" ("Yes, I said it as a question.)

"What can I help you with?"

"I gave my baby an extra dose of cimetidine, and I need to know if that's okay."

"Well, let me get you the number for poison control...."

So it comes down to it. Looks like I'm calling poison control anyway.

"Hello -- poison control."

"Hi! I gave my baby an extra dose of cimetidine, and I need to know if he'll be okay."

"How much does your baby weigh and what was the dose? Oh, yes, ma'am, he'll be just fine."

That was it. No ambulance, no ipecac. Just a very intelligent, very helpful staffer who probably had a handy dandy computer program to look things up for panicked callers.

I had no idea that calling poison control would be such a positive experience. They're, like, my best friends now. Maybe I'll call them again this week.

Actually, I hope I never call them again. But I'm glad they're there.

Stroller Struggle

2009-10-20T19:39:00.000-05:00

My little guy has become a tall guy, and he's about to outgrow his infant carrier. Thanks to the generosity of family, we already have our next car seat. However, the search is on for a stroller.

Paul and I are both leaning towards a Maclaren Volo. I'm embarrassed to admit that I want a Maclaren because I always told myself that I could do without one of those fancy-schmancy, high-end strollers. If I get a Maclaren, then Nancy might revoke my "baby minimalist" title. It really is a nice stroller, though. I love how lightweight it is, plus the fact that it includes a stroller strap so I can sling it over my shoulder when I need to go up stairs or something.

Several people have recommended the Maclaren Triumph, which costs about $50 more than the Volo. The Triumph has extra seat padding, a one-handed folding mechanism, and reclining positions. I don't care about the padding, and I like the folding mechanism of the Volo just fine, but I wonder about the adjustable recline. Is that something I'm going to need?

And then there's the whole jogging stroller question. I definitely don't need a jogging stroller, but I would love to walk a 5K race with Ian occasionally. I don't know if a regular stroller can take a 5K, although I'm guessing it might be able to do it at my slow pace. I don't think I want to buy a jogging stroller and not a regular stroller, though, because jogging strollers are so bulky and heavy. I'm not sure I could even fit one in my tiny car.

So, as usual, I have a question for you guys -- how important is the reclining feature on a stroller? Do you use it, or is it just an extra bell and/or whistle? AND have you ever used a regular stroller to walk a 5K?

A House Too Quiet

2009-10-19T13:38:00.001-05:00

The house is too quiet. Ian and I are here, with Cameron keeping watch in the backyard. But the house feels a bit empty.

Loa the kitty is at the vet. I took her to the vet last week after she started drooling, but they sent us home and said to watch her for a few days. I found some fleas on her, so I decided to give her a flea bath and -- a day later -- put some topical flea medicine on her.

That was a big mistake.

I just grabbed some flea treatment from Kroger. I figured it wouldn't be as effective as the stuff from the vet, but since she's an indoor kitty I decided to risk it.

Now she's not eating, and the area where I put the flea medicine is an irritated neon pink.

I know I am at fault here. I should not have treated an already sick kitty with flea medicine (even though I thought I was doing what was best for her), and I should have waited more than a day between the bath and the topical treatment.

However, my Loa kitty is not the only animal to experience problems. Other people have had very experiences, and you can read their stories at HartzVictims.org . Apparently these over-the-counter flea meds are not necessarily ineffective, but they are dangerous. So why are they still on the shelves?

I guess I'm writing this post half as a warning to other pet owners, and half as an outlet for my own sadness over Loa's predicament. I'm hoping to get a good report from the pet this afternoon.

UPDATE: Loa is okay! Just a little dehydrated. Her skin is still irritated, but the vet says she'll be fine.

Contribute 2009

2009-10-15T16:49:00.000-05:00

As pointed out by Nashvillest, this weeks is Contribute 2009, an effort to encourage consumers to support local businesses. If 100,000 people spend $50 at a local business this month, that's $5 million going into small businesses across the country!

Sounds like the perfect excuse for Castrillo's Pizza and Pied Piper ice cream to me. And I did hear about a new chocolate factory about a mile from my house....

For more info on Contribute 2009, visit Scentsy.

GTD

2009-10-12T23:58:00.000-05:00

Okay, ladies, what's your secret? Does an army of house elves clean your house every night? Do you plop your kids in front of a TV so you can fold laundry? How do you keep your home up and running AND find time to remember your name?

When I worked in the corporate world there were seminars and systems for being more productive. All I can think is that somehow I miss the seminar for stay-at-home moms. Maybe they forgot to send me a postcard.

Each day I have wonderful dreams of how much I will accomplish, only to fall into bed every night and wonder where the hours went. The laundry piles up, the floor stays dirty, and the cat has to wait one more day for a litter change. I mean, yes, the baby gets fed and nurtured, but that's about the extent of my productivity. And I know the baby care is super important, but hey, so is having clean clothes.

There are temporary fixes, of course. I can hire some housekeeping help or let someone else watch Ian while I work. But I'm looking for a long-term solution in how I handle everyday life.

A few months ago I spoke with a friend who is one of those amazing, do-everything people. She owns a business and chairs a food bank and teaches piano lessons while taking care of three kids and maintaining a charming personality. I asked her how she manages to be so productive. Her answer? "You don't want to be as busy as me."

I think I may need a closer look at a saying I hear from time to time -- Don't compare your insides to other people's outsides. That's pretty much what I've been doing. I look at my friends who work outside the home or find time for lots of playdates or style their hair perfectly every day and wonder -- how? How do they do it? How are their lives so perfect? And I miss the sacrifices they've made, the tough decisions they've fought through to keep the things that are important to them.

I guess I'm in that process, figuring out what goes and what stays.

But in the meantime.......spill it! Tell me your secrets for keeping your household sane.

The Book Not Taken

2009-10-08T20:33:00.003-05:00

Two books diverged on a library shelf....

I went to the library the other day to find some new reading material. Since I'm pumping milk for Ian, I spend a lot of time sitting at a desk, and books are terrific distraction. I've been reading a guilty pleasure series that sets the Robin Hood legend in England at the time of the Norman conquest, but I balanced out the first book in the series by reading Eat, Pray, Love at the same time. So when I went to pick up the second Robin Hood book, I figured I would pick out another New York Times bestseller or some thought-provoking fiction favored by NPR. Maybe a book about refugees.

I approached the shelf, eager to find some intellectual delight...... and I saw it. I knew I was doomed from the first glance. The book had the silhouette of a black kitty on the spine, along with the Sherlock Holmes avatar denoting it as a mystery novel. I glanced at the back for a description, but it was all a charade; I knew that book was going home with me. I was powerless. The New York Times bestselling NPR refugees would have to wait.

Kroger Care

2009-09-30T22:32:00.004-05:00

It's been a rough day. Nothing terribly bad happened, I'm just very tired and a little lonely. Little guy seems to have his first cold, and I'm afraid I might be in for a rough night. Our family was going to check out a new church community group tonight, but we decided to stay home so we could keep our germs to ourselves. So add disappointed and bored to tired and lonely.

I decide I need to get out for a bit. But where? I could hit a coffee shop.....or even the Nashville Symphony's CD release party at The Flying Saucer. No, I know what I need to do.

I need to go Krogering.

Where else can I go in my nursing shirt stained with spit-up and not have anyone give me a second glance? Where else can I get a gallon of ice cream for 2.99? Where else within 10 minutes of my house is open at 10pm?

I set some ground rules for my trip. One, I can treat myself to some fun items. I'm not a big advocate of happiness through spending, but sometimes a tiny luxury can make a big impact on my pysche. Two, I'm not allowed to buy anything we actually need. Baby wipes and milk can wait until tomorrow, otherwise the trip quickly will transform into a chore.

So I get to Kroger, toting my reusable shopping bag, determined to look super-hip (while still in my stained shirt). Unfortunately, there are no shopping baskets to be seen, so I have to drag a giant cart around the store with me. Ugh. Carts are SO not super-hip.

First stop, flowers. I definitely need some flowers. A single sunflower? A giant bouquet of randomness? Ooh, that bouquet is free if I purchase a pound of M&Ms...... I finally decide to go with a pot of daisies. Hopefully they'll stay perky enough to brighten the rest of my week.

Next, the Halloween section. There's got to be something here to liven things up a bit. A "supermodel wig" featuring a purple bob! Just about perfect, but Ian might not recognize me. Fishnet stockings....yawn......I really want the pink and black-striped tights, but they only come in children's sizes. Interesting commentary on the maturity of my fashion sense.

Having struck out in the Halloween section, I check out the toiletries department for bath fizzies and such. I almost buy an eye mask and pajama pants -- essential ingredients for relaxation -- but decide I would rather find handmade versions on etsy than buy them at Kroger. I'll try that later this evening.

Time for one of my downfalls, the makeup department. I adore makeup, although I rarely wear very much. I just love the pretty colors and the sparkles and, let's be honest here, the marketing campaigns. Tonight I look for a solution to my everlasting problem of mascara that gives me raccoon eyes. I currently have water-proof mascara that I practically have to chisel off, and I still have artifically-enhanced dark circles under my eyes at the end of each day. And so I look at the.....the...[can't bear to say it]....THE FALSE EYELASHES! That's right. You heard me. I've thought about trying false eyelashes in the hopes that I can say goodbye to mascara forever. But I'm not that brave tonight. Moving along.

After a cursory glance at the books and magazines (stopping and staring in amazement at the cover of a romance novel that features a guy holding a baby -- somebody really knows how to market to mommies!), I decide to go back to my standby happiness-in-a-box. Or carton, rather. Ice creeeeeeeeeam. Yay.

I check out at the self-scan and just carry all my items out to the car rather than use a plastic bag. It's only once I'm at my car trying to juggle ice cream and daisies and, um, a chocolate bar that I remember I brought a reusable shopping bag that is still slung over my shoulder, empty.

Yep, I'm a mom. And I'm tired. And my idea of fun is a late night solo trip to Kroger.

But I have brownie moosetracks ice cream, a pot of daisies, a sleeping baby, a handsome husband, and a happy home. I'll take it.

Diving into the Healthcare Debate

2009-09-18T22:48:00.006-05:00

So the U.S. healthcare system has some issues. Something needs to change. But what?

I'm pretty lucky as far as insurance and health issues go. I've always had great insurance policies through work or parents or husband, and I don't have any major health issues.

The whole system seems crazy and crooked to an uninitiated person like me, though. For instance, a couple of months ago my insurance company sent me an explanation of benefits regarding my hospital stay around Ian's birth. The hospital sent the insurance company a bill for $20,000 in "hospital incidentals." That's all the EOB said. Hospital incidentals. The insurance company agreed to pay $6,000, and apparently the hospital was satisfied with that.

Wait, what? The hospital took $14,000 less than what they requested? If someone didn't have insurance, would they have had to pay the whole $20,000, since they wouldn't have the bargaining power of the insurance company? Or did the hospital just inflate the numbers to make sure they got the money they wanted, in some sort of paperwork version of a flea market negotiation?

And then there's the fact that so many of my friends have limited insurance options due to pre-existing conditions. A diagnosis of a chronic illness means that these people quake at the thought of a job loss, which would mean loss of insurance coverage or a COBRA policy that costs hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars.

If you want to have a baby? Don't even think about it unless you have a nice, cozy group insurance policy. Well, you can eventually, as long as you sit out the year waiting period. They made it a year in case you decide to let the baby gestate longer JUST TO SWINDLE THE INSURANCE COMPANY.

Plus there's the folks who don't bother with insurance or can't afford it and end up at the emergency room because a) it's the only place that will treat them or b) they let a small problem go untreated and now it's a big problem. I don't care if it's their fault and they should have had insurance and blah blah blah -- as humans, they still deserve treatment, and taxpayers still pay for it.

So things need to be fixed. And I have no idea what needs to happen. Universal health care? Mandatory health care that we can choose, like car insurance? (Although the choice to live isn't exactly like the choice to drive.) More competition among insurance companies? The libertarian Christian in me says the church should be providing health care to those who can't afford it, but that's not particularly realistic. The bleeding heart socialist in me says we should pay for everything for everybody!!!!111!!! (I'm a very confused girl.)

So what do you think? Do you know the solution? Leave me thoughts and links in the comments, but PLEASE play nice. I know this is an emotional topic for some of you.

Oh, and here's thoughts from some other friends:
-Nancy at Life with Our Itty Bitty Baby Girl
-Kat at Just Another Pretty Farce -- Kat has several posts on healthcare, so just browse her blog
-Sarah linked to this article on Facebook, so she gets included

Sharing the Road

2009-09-08T17:18:00.003-05:00

On a recent sunny day I was out running errands. I watched people walking their dogs and whizzing about on their scooters, and I had a moment of gratitude for my awesome neighborhood. Suddenly, I saw a cyclist whip his bike around the left side of a car at a stop sign, determined to dash ahead of the car in traffic.

I love living in an area where people ride bikes. Here in East Nashville bicycles are more than a weekend activity; residents commute on their bikes and take them on errands.

What I don't love, however, is bike riders who don't respect traffic laws.

Drivers are often chided to "share the road" with their biking counterparts, and of course we do need to be aware of people on bikes and take precautions to keep the road safe for everyone.

However, I ask the bikers out there to "share the road" with drivers as well, and help us keep YOU safe.

I've always been taught that bicycles count as vehicles, and thus are subject to most traffic laws. Personally, I have no problem with amateur bikers being on sidewalks as long as they yield to pedestrians -- probably because I am one of those wobbly beginner cyclists myself, and I'm terrified of wobbling into traffic. But my general understanding is that bikes belong on the right side of the road along with cars.

Countless times I have been driving down the road with cyclists next to me in the bike lane or ahead of me in the regular lane, only to observe the them breeze through a stop sign or traffic light. I think my favorite phenomenon is when cyclists stay in regular traffic until they hit a stoplight, at which point they race onto the sidewalk to take advantage of the crosswalk. It's like some sort of "cyclist uncertainty principle"-- I never know if someone on a bike is going to remain in traffic, dart through a light, move to the sidewalk, or join up with their three other buddies bicycles and block two lanes of traffic (saw that one a few weeks ago).

Anyway, all that to say, I LOVE that people ride bikes. People who commute by bike are even cooler than vegetarians or people who wear Tom's Shoes. But please, when you are riding your bike, obey traffic laws, and help me not kill you. Thanks.

Travel Travails

2009-09-01T18:59:00.005-05:00

So a couple of weeks ago I left my new-mom cocoon and took Ian on his first big trip. We decided to accompany Paul (a.k.a. Daddy) on a business trip to Texas.

However, I was terrified. What if I forgot something? What if Ian got sick? What if ~~I refused to get on the plane because I'm scared of flying~~ Ian had a hard time on the plane?

As I mentioned over at Finn's blog, I decided to do a practice run first. I took Ian on a grand expedition 30 minutes away to my parents' house so we could practice being away from home. That was a great way to see how he slept in a different place AND to see what I would most likely forget. That was very helpful; more than anything, it helped my nerves to do that practice run.

Experienced momma Nancy also sent me her packing list, and I gleaned an especially useful item from there -- ziploc bags! In fact, I decided I didn't have enough ziploc bags on the trip and ended up buying more, but I was very thankful that I had seen that item on Nancy's list and brought a few for starters.

I also followed The Musician's example and stopped saving the earth for that particular week. Yes, I bit the bullet and used disposable diapers. I'm really glad we made that decision, because I really didn't want to put baby poop in somebody else's washing machine. Plus, disposables meant we could pack a few diapers and then buy the rest when we arrived at our destination.

My friend Katie shared a few travel tips as well, and I took her advice on taking (or buying on arrival) the dish soap and laundry soap we used at home so things would smell familiar for Ian.

So....the trip itself.....

I'm writing this now, so you know we survived -- but the first few days of our travels were pretty rough. We arrived at our hotel (at 11:45pm due to a delayed flight) and found that our room didn't have the promised mini-fridge (essential for breastmilk!), so we moved to a mini-fridge room the next day. The day after that we drove a couple of hours to see family, and we stayed with them that night. Then we drove back to our original hotel a day earlier than planned. So we stayed in a different place each of the first four nights. I think Ian was fine, but I was fairly grumpy and sleep-deprived, especially since I got to do most of the packing while Paul was at work.

Also, it turned out that we did forget something -- our wonderful stroller, which we left at home in the trunk of our car. Trying to carry a baby through the airport without a stroller but with several large suitcases and a Pack n' Play is NOT my idea of fun. Incidentally, the next time I stay somewhere without a Pack n' Play or baby crib, I'll be tempted to order one of the cheap ones online and have it shipped to my destination. The $60-$70 is totally worth the hassle it prevents, especially considering that we had to pay an extra luggage fee on this trip for having suitcases above the maximum weight. Ordering a Pack n' Play and taking more, smaller suitcases probably would have saved us $30.

Anyway, frustrated by our lack of strollerness, I decided to get to know the local baby consignment store. While they didn't have any good deals on strollers, I did find a super-cheap baby carrier that made moving around a little bit easier. Plus, browsing baby stuff was a fun, relatively hassle-free activity to do while Paul was at work.

Once we were able to settle into one place for several days, the trip went smoothly. Ian was a real champ, adapting super-easily to whatever changes came his way. He did wake up crying at least once a night and occasionally during naps -- I think it confused him to wake up in a different place, and his schedule got turned around due to dining out, meeting with family, etc. Normally during night awakenings (which are rare these days), we check on the little guy periodically but don't rock him back to sleep. However, for the sake of our hotel neighbors, we were all about rocking and shushing on this trip! That didn't seem to form any permanent bad habits. though, and Ian quickly went back to self-soothing after we got home.

With the night wakings and all the other daytime activities, I was a tired cookie by the end of the trip. I remember one night toward the end when I was waiting for Ian to go back to sleep. Paul rolled over in his sleep, and I wanted to turn to him and say, "STOP THAT YOU ARE GOING TO WAKE UP THE BABY DON'T YOU KNOW I NEED SLEEP OH MY GOSH." Fortunately, my remaining sanity intervened and reminded me that since Paul was asleep, he probably wasn't doing that on purpose to keep me from getting rest.

One final lesson I learned about travel is to plan for a few recovery days. I expected to be perky and ready to tackle housework the day after we returned, but that was a rather unrealistic expectation. Things got back to normal eventually, though, and I now feel a little braver about venturing out with my little one.

I know some of you have great travel tips, since you gave them to me. Feel free to share your ideas with the rest of us! United we sleep!

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?

2009-08-27T14:23:00.006-05:00

So I'm trying to figure out what my "mommy" hairstyle will be.

I had visions of letting my hair grow out during pregnancy so that I would have long, luxurious princess hair when my baby was born. However, I failed to consider that a)cutting my hair short at the beginning of the pregnancy would not help this goal and b) my hair

grows

incredibly

slowly.

So now I have medium-length hair that is BORING, and I'm trying to figure out my next step.

I still want the princess hair. I've never had very long hair, and right now my hair is the longest it's been in years, so if I'm going to do it, now's the time. I have curly/wavy hair, so I imagine it looking something like Buttercup's in The Princess Bride. Yeah. Maybe after 20 years of no hair cuts.

However, I'm realizing that perhaps long hair is not the wisest choice for a new mom. It seems to be a great tug/chew toy for baby, plus I keep finding it wrapped around his diaper, his neck, his sleep sack, etc. Also, long hair can be pretty hard to style for us curly-headed lasses. Any hairstyle other than a quick ponytail requires the use of a blow dryer or straightening iron to avoid a frizzy mess, and I just don't have the patience for that.

So it seems that a short 'do is the way to go. I could totally do short hair. I imagine myself as an emo-chick with piecey, pointed black hair and face-framing bangs. Wait, what? No dyeing my hair black while baby is drinking breastmilk? Oh, well I can do the rest....what? Curly hair can't be piecey and pointy without hours of straightening that requires time I just don't have? Booooo. And the bangs? Well, if I had a picture of myself from the last time I had bangs (circa 1991) you would see why curly hair and bangs just don't go together.

I really do want the bangs -- I just don't like short hairstyles without them. But I don't know that I can invest the styling time bangs would require. And remember, since my hair

grows

incredibly

slowly,

if I find that my new bangs are a mistake, I get to spend years trying to undo it.

Then there is this other issue. Wow, I'm really not sure the world is ready to see this yet. Well, here goes:

That's my angel 'fro. I have these short, little hairs that form a halo around my head, and there is nothing I can do about them. Extreme amounts of straightening and styling product might tame them for a time, but they are always there, mocking me. Even a simple ponytail can go from decent to laughable when these things make their appearance. Apparently that part of my hair is so thin and fine that it can't grow to a decent length.

So there is only one option. I'm going to shave off my angel 'fro and rock the Elizabethan hairstyle.

If you would like to save me from a lifetime of looking like a Renaissance-era noblewoman, leave a comment with your hairstyle suggestion. Even better, link to a picture!

Anti-Advice

2009-08-22T11:51:00.002-05:00

After the last post, a good friend asked me why I am so anti-advice. I think that's a great question, so here's a shot at answering it coherently:

I don't think I am anti-advice as much as I am anti-unsolicited advice. I think that view comes from a desire for emotional safety and the need to learn to ask for help when it is needed.

A lot of time our culture tends to focus on "fixing" feelings that aren't pleasant. For instance, if I post that I am sad, someone may offer suggestions for fixing the sadness. While the suggestions are well-intentioned, the sadness doesn't necessarily need to be fixed. It may be a very healthy, appropriate emotion.

Or say, for example, I tell someone that I am really struggling with jealousy. Perhaps I am already working on that area of my life, and all I need is a listening ear and someone who will say, "Yeah, that's tough." If, instead of listening, the person gives me tips for fixing my jealousy issues, I suddenly feel like a problem to fix instead of a person to hear. That makes me feel unsafe, like anything I share will need to be analyzed and fixed.

Now of course, much of this has nothing to do with the person giving the advice and everything to do with how I receive it. And that's okay. It's up to me to set boundaries that will keep me safe emotionally, and sometimes that means saying, "Thanks, I don't need advice right now." Being able to set those limits allows me to open myself for deeper and more vulnerable conversations when I am ready.

The other side of this coin is the need to ask for advice when I want/need it. A lack of unsolicited advice leaves room for me to realize when I need help and to ask for that help. That is a hard thing to do, but it is a beautiful and empowering thing to realize that I need help and support from others and to ask for what I need. It is even more beautiful to admit my struggles to someone and find that, instead of receiving suggestions and fixes, I receive grace.

Lest I sound self-righteous around this topic, let me admit that I am a queen of unsolicited advice, which is probably why it bothers me so. I also will unabashedly give advice to someone in a dangerous situation (i.e. domestic violence), but of course my brain can go a little overboard when determining what is a life or death situation. Just ask Paul how many times I have delivered unsolicited advice concerning Ian because I am CONVINCED that his nap schedule will be the wealth or ruin of us. But all I can do is try to follow my own, ahem, advice, and offer grace whenever and wherever I can.

Singing

2009-08-20T00:29:00.003-05:00

Does everyone sing to their kiddos this much? Pre-baby, I heard lots of friends sing to their babies, and my mom and mother-in-law both mentioned singing to their children. However, the past four months have taught me the amazing power of song. I mean, really, we should bottle this stuff and sell it. Oh wait, I guess that would be a CD.

Seriously, though, there is nothing like a round of "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to sooth Ian. Whether he's stuck in a swing while I pump breastmilk or he's fighting the sleep monster, singing brings a smile to his face.

I made the CD joke above, but recorded music can't replicate the power of Mommy or Daddy singing. Hand motions are an added benefit, and seem to be essential in times of extreme fussiness.

The songs I sing tend to fit into 3 categories:

1. Songs I know
2. Songs I think I know and then totally butcher
3. Songs I make up

With mommy brain, very few songs fit into the first category. Most songs are subject to at least some level of forgotten words or music or hand motions, but there are a few that I know pretty well. Hey, I only sang the wrong melody to Itsy Bitsy Spider once. (I know! How did I sing the wrong melody to THAT?) Thanks to the Nashville Jazz Workshop, several jazz standards fit into the "songs I know" category as well.

There are lots of songs in the second category, thanks to my mommy brain. For instance, there are these two folk songs:

My name is Yon Yonson
I come from Wisconsin
I work in a lumber and there...

AND

My home's in Montana
I wear a bandana
My spurs are of silver,
My pony is gray....

Which, when combined with mommy brain, becomes:

My name is Yon Yonsonn
I come from Wisconsin
My spurs are of silver
My pony is gray...

I would have made it through the whole song if I hadn't started wondering why someone from Wisconsin was riding a pony.

And then I tried to sing "Stay Awake" from Mary Poppins, but I forgot the words and started it with "Go to Sleep" instead of "Stay Awake." I forgot so much of that song that I essentially just veered into a new melody and new words anyway. Which leads me to the third category, songs I make up.

The made up songs seem to be Ian's favorites, I think because the process of making up the song relaxes me and puts me in a silly mood. Instead of worrying about schedules or chores, I'm just thinking about him and what type of song he needs in that very moment.

Surrendering to the Mommy Blog

2009-08-18T23:59:00.003-05:00

I was determined that this blog would not be a mommy blog. I wanted to write about all sorts of things, including motherhood, to keep it relevant to all my readers.

But as it turns out, if I don't write about mostly mommy stuff, it won't be relevant to ME. It seems that mommyhood is all I think about these days, or at least it's all I care to write about. I'm still trying to find room in my life for my other interests (skating, singing, etc), but most of my blogable obsessions center around motherhood.

I think making a blog irrelevant to my life in an attempt to make it relevant to my readers' lives would, uh, kinda defeat the purpose of the blog. It is, after all, for me. A place to express my thoughts and feelings, a place to practice writing, a place where I can write sentences without verbs and then ponder whether I can really call it a sentence or if I should just call it a sentence fragment.

Blogging and its purpose has been on my mind a bit lately, with the reports of baby-elbowing for swag at BlogHer and the magazine articles about mommy bloggers and their sponsors. (About the baby-elbowing -- I was in tears and had to scour the internet until I found that mom's blog and saw that the baby was okay. Ah, new mom hormones.) There's been a lot of discussion about ethics and transparency and real bloggers and fake bloggers and sell-out bloggers. And I have to say, while I consider myself a person of integrity, if some company wanted to give me a free video camera because they liked my blog I WOULD TOTALLY TAKE IT. Although maybe only if it shot HD.

The thing that strikes me about the truly great mommy bloggers is their transparency and vulnerability. Sure, there can be a level of TMI, but the bloggers that are open and honest about their lives are a pleasure to read. Take Suburban Turmoil, for example. Lindsay writes good stuff. Sometimes embarrassing stuff, sometimes stuff that makes people mad, but good stuff. They are her true experiences and opinions, and they are wonderful to read.

I foresee my mommy bloggerness being limited by my desire for privacy and security. I hesitate to post about my struggles, because I don't want advice, and sometimes I don't even want encouragement. I think I'm just looking for a safe place where I can be happy, sad, angry, perplexed, or everything at once and just sit in the experience without trying to fix it.

Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me

2009-07-31T23:25:00.002-05:00

Before I delivered my baby, I received lots of helpful and not-so-helpful advice about motherhood and parenting. Now, four months out, I've found a few things I wish I had learned waaaaay back at the beginning of this crazy ride.

1. Two-week-old babies are more portable than four-month-old babies. I've read this two or three times in the last week, but I really wish I had known it BEFORE we hit this stage. I honestly thought we would be able to tote the little guy more places as he got older, not fewer places. But alas, he no longer sleeps in his car seat, and we have naps to take!

2. Jane Kershaw at A Mother's Place (Centennial Women's Hospital) is an absolutely amazing lactation consultant. I've worked with some other women who have been really encouraging and supportive, but Jane is absolutely incredible.

3. Yes, newborns really do eat ALL THE TIME. Yes, I know you just fed him, but he's hungry again. I think I heard this several times before giving birth, but it really didn't sink in.

4. Consignment sales are awesome. I got a taste of consignment sale awesomeness when a friend took me to one last fall, but I really didn't understand the true draw of BARGAINS!!!111!11! I skipped the sales at the end of February because I still had a couple of showers to go, but in hindsight, I would have recommended hitting the sale anyway. After all, I could always consign any duplicate items at the fall sale! MWAH HAH HAH HAH! (As you can see, consignment sales produce a certain insanity in mommies.)

5. Parenting really, truly does limit one's social life. And that's okay. Kinda sad, but okay. I think people meant this when they pronounced that "parenthood changes everything," but I wish I'd had specifics on this one. I envisioned that once Ian was six months old, we could cart him around with us to family-friendly concerts (with ear muffs!), Predators games, casual restaurants, friends' houses, etc. And we can do all those things....for about two hours at a time, before 8pm, twice a month. :-) I really thought that, as long as he didn't cry and got plenty of sleep in general, toting Ian everywhere with me would be fun. Now I'm realizing that it would be fun for me and overwhelming for him. The occasional Preds game probably won't hurt, though!

Maybe I did hear most or all of these statements somewhere along my path to motherhood, but I've found that there is much about parenthood that I can't be told -- I just have to learn.

Oh, the old East Nash listserv is back.

2009-07-31T23:24:00.002-05:00

Just realizing I never updated about the East Nashville listserv. Google restored it, and all is well.

Listserve Update

2009-06-30T18:57:00.002-05:00

A new listserv has been created over at Yahoo Groups.
From Laura Creekmore:

EAST NASHVILLE LIST UPDATE
Join the list now by sending a blank email to eastnashville-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or by visiting the group
home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eastnashville.

More details over at Fixin' Supper.

Farewell to the East Nashville Listserv

2009-06-27T13:24:00.003-05:00

Google deleted the 3000 member East Nashville listserv this morning.

Several years of banter, service references, acts of kindness, and community announcements are gone.

Laura Creekmore, the listserv founder and moderator, is working to she if she can restore the list or at least create a new one. More info is available at her blog: http://www.urlzen.com/kw0

Quiet

2009-06-20T23:28:00.002-05:00

Everybody's asleep but me.

Boy, this keyboard is clackety.

In a few minutes I'll be waking Ian for his last feeding of the night. I hate to wake him -- he's had trouble falling asleep today -- but this last feeding helps him sleep through the night.

He's such an awesome little boy.

Thinking about joining a CSA. It's a little pricey, but I think it will help us eat healthier food, and I know Chef Paul will have fun experimenting with the veggies. Plus, I like the idea of not having to wander up and down grocery aisles -- I can just show up to the meeting place and get a box of all my groceries, farm-fresh!

I've had Rod Stewart's "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" in my head all night. No idea why. It would have made sense when we had our clock radio set to JACK (obnoxious music perfect to make me get out of bed!), but now that we just blast Relient K, I have no excuse.

Things I'm Learning

2009-05-05T22:26:00.004-05:00

I'm learning some very important things in my first few weeks of motherhood.

1. Laura Creekmore was right. Don't ever try Pampers, because you will realize they are the best diapers and then will be stuck buying them forever. Actually, I use cloth diapers whenever they are clean, and have encountered something similar with Fuzzi Buns cloth diapers -- they are fabulous, and I keep wanting to buy more!

2. Just like my pets gave me a small taste of what it would be like to take care of children, they are now giving me a taste of sibling issues. Loa, our oldest "child," misses the attention she used to receive and has been acting out since Ian arrived. She keeps hopping on kitchen counters and opening cabinets and eating toilet paper. Cameron, the middle "child," is well-meaning but exhausts us with his neediness and chaotic activity.

3. I don't check to make sure Ian is breathing as often as I thought I would. I check, but not as much as I expected.

4. Generally I can only get one task done each day, other than caring for Ian. Sure, I can get more done if don't sleep when he sleeps, but then I turn into a crazy person. So for now, one task it is.

5. I still don't know what I am doing. I think I am doing a pretty good job with this mom stuff, but wow, there is a lot to learn and a lot of decisions to make. For instance, I hate setting him in his crib when he is awake, but how else am I supposed to get dressed, eat lunch, etc.?

6. Baby smiles are the best thing in the entire world.