Comments on Sex, Relationships & Your Health: What Some Sex Offenders Have in Common

I disagree that sex offenders have failed a grade ...

2009-03-18T19:03:00.000-04:00

I disagree that sex offenders have failed a grade or attended special ed classes. I have been molested myself when I was little, and not by someone who had learning problems. From research and the one who hurt me, shows that they were abused themselves. I know alot of people who failed a grade, quit school, or had special ed. Most of them turned out to be descent, and well off.
"Hate the sin, not the sinner"
I, too, love this scripture, because it comes from God's Holy Word. In God's eyes no sin is greater than another. He also, is a loving and forgiving God. His Word also states that we should forgive if we want to be forgiven. I thank God that He is Who He is and not you. If you were, we would all be doomed to hell.

So many people think of going to jail or being put...

2009-01-07T23:31:00.000-05:00

So many people think of going to jail or being put to death as a punishment for the criminal, not that it doesn't suck. What so many people don't realize is that the prison system and death sentences aren't there for punishment but to protect society from someone who won't stop commiting their crimes. One post said that pedophiles don't get off easy in prison. I know in my state they do... pedophiles are kept from general prison population to "protect" them. And some pedophiles don't serve more than 4 years (because of prison over population) even though the children they hurt might never recover. If we were a society that really punished our criminals they would be missing body parts like in some middle eastern countrys that chop off thieves right hands. It might sound harsh but they only have cases of theivery every 10 years because they make everyone watch the hand getting cut off. Maybe if we had more violent and televised exicutions their would be more pedophiles that think before doing. Also to the poster mentioning "seducing" I love (I'm being sarcastic in case you didn't catch that) it when pedophiles say they "love" the child their molesting and that the child loves them back. If they really loved them they'd be willing to wait untill they were old enough to legally consent and even if the child loves you back doesn't mean they're emotionally or physically ready for a sexual relationship. I was twelve before I even knew what sex really was and that was two years after I had "sex" ed and it wasn't until I was thirteen that I could even feel sexual arousal. Maybe I was a little later than other children but not by much so don't kid yourself by pretending otherwise.

I don't care what this study say's everything come...

2009-01-07T23:04:00.000-05:00

I don't care what this study say's everything comes down to choices. I do believe that you can be born with an inclination towards Pediphilia but that doesn't mean you have to make that choice. I mean you don't see anyone making excuses for people who are alcoholics do you? Not even if their parents were alcoholics too. I mean you can be born with an inclination to become an alcoholic but that doesn't give you an "out" for your responsibilities. I have I guess what society would call a sexual deviation (luckly not pedophilia) but I would never let my problem ever hurt another person whether physically or emotionally especially children.

Last night my grandson only 8 years of age just to...

2008-11-01T12:09:00.000-04:00

Last night my grandson only 8 years of age just told me Last night on Halloween that, he has been continuously raped by his 4 uncles on his Mom's side of the Family in her Parents home. And all of which is over the age of 21years. And this is the real kicker the Parents over at my Grandson Mom house knew that this had been going on for awhile. So, now we are on our way to the Emergency room.

This article is important. This is obviously a fo...

2008-10-28T23:11:00.000-04:00

This article is important. This is obviously a foreign study, sorry, but sadly there is probably no way in hell that the American public would even go for a study like this. I disagree with the person who does not think this is prenatal problems or something similar. This person does not know, NOBODY DOES. Its as if the collective American Conscience, cares more for people in wheelchairs than it does for the mentally ill. These problems are not going away, they will not get better without help. and not just counseling, maybe certain american values need to change before anything can be done.

HAHA you people are funny if you think off it you ...

2008-03-25T17:26:00.000-04:00

HAHA you people are funny if you think off it you can kill all the pedos you wont there is all ways going to be one. Think of it its like what cam first the chicen or the egg if all pedos were malastid as kids who was the first pedo and who malastid him. think of it see i was malsted as a kid by my dad but i have to live with that and he got away with it. And i have studyd the behavur of them and i know its hard for them to have those fellings and most people who want to have sex with kids dont even do it iv wach people and i can tell who is or who isent but thay keep to the salf and i know there that way becose i ask and thay would say yes. Like the other person sayd dont hate the sinner hate the sin but lets say dont hate the sin understand it. Oh and if any of you cant understand my spelling im sorry i did not learn to read tell i was 13 or so becose my dad would beat my head in if i tryd to learn any thing he dident know how to read or spell and i think thats why he was upset all the time. Its humen nacher to hert or to hate somthing we dont understand and i expact you to hate me becose thats who most of you are is blood thirsty people wanting to hert those you dont understand. Not all who think of kids in that way are bad just the ones who act on it just think if you kill a pedo you killd a mothers child and that mother loves that child no matter what. and you would be no better.

i agree with the person who sied it was trusted pe...

2007-06-03T02:15:00.000-04:00

i agree with the person who sied it was trusted people who are usally mallested, my mother was raped continually times, due to her boifriend.

Who the hell cited NAMBLA as a facet of sexual pro...

2007-05-31T03:34:00.000-04:00

Who the hell cited NAMBLA as a facet of sexual progression?

Its a made up organization.

You are a close minded intollerant person.

DIAF

In response to KC's post,i must say that if anyone...

2007-04-17T05:45:00.000-04:00

In response to KC's post,i must say that if anyone needs their brain removed,its you. Youre not using it so what could it hurt? I do not condone the victimization of children,but neither do i condone performing barbaric experiments on individuals who are most likely perpetuating a crime committed against them in the first place. Very few people are actually better off deceased. What are you saying? Make these persons pay for every crime committed before them? Ive got a good one for you. Did you know statistically ,you probably have pedophile in your own peer group? It could very well be a family member even. Its said as many as 90 percent of victims never tell. You want to end the cycle of abuse? Lets try making mental health resources available for everyone for starters. Lets not wait until someone becomes a victim before making these resources available. Lets not stop there. Lets run a campaign telling everyone who has pedophilic urges that theres help. Then encourage them to use it. Make it free or at least affordable. Make it readily available. As long as humans are on this earth, there will always be a need for compassion.-John

Our son was molested by a developmentally delayed ...

2007-04-06T23:15:00.000-04:00

Our son was molested by a developmentally delayed teenager. The teen was driven by internet porn and enabled by the denial of his parents that he had a problem. Our family is suffering as a result of this hiddeous crime. Reporting abuse is the first step to stopping it from continuing or from happening to another innocent child. Mental impairment or low self esteem cannot be used as an excuse to minimalize the damage done to an innocent child. To the victim, there is no reason that will justify the crime or take away the pain.

I think we're getting away from the point of this ...

2007-03-20T21:05:00.000-04:00

I think we're getting away from the point of this blog entry which is about sex offenders, not homosexuality. I just find if offensive for anyone to compare homosexuality with pedophilia.

But I couldn't leave the last comment be without a counterpoint: homosexuality in the animal kingdom is far from uncommon or nonexistant.

It seems that the last poster was in definitive de...

2007-03-20T20:47:00.000-04:00

It seems that the last poster was in definitive defending homosexuality. Lets take a minute to look into the definition of natural sexaul behavior, and perhaps the acceptance of same-sex behavior in our society. Reproduction cannot be accomplished in the union of same-sex activity, and the origin of sex was specifically designed for procreation,(replacing ourselves when we are gone). This in not evident in just our race of human-kind, but in all of creation. In plant life, there is a sexual union of pollen to pistil from the stamin of a flower to the ovam of the pistil, usually accomplished by the aid of, wind, an insect, etc. Perhaps we think of ourselves as above plant-life, but at least they follow the natural order of things. All mammal life on our planet except man-kind practice the natural order of sexual activity, including whales and porpous (which aren't fish). Now look out, here come the homosexuals, even changing the use of the language; "GAY" according to webster used to mean, elated, joyous, happy, festive, but the definition had to be modified (quite recently) to include homosexuality. The proper term would be defined as "odd, strange, deviated from the normal" not happy. There is a reason that the female body is designed with a recpticle, and the male body is designed with an organ which fits there to cause reproduction. There are many arguments of "I should have been born a woman/man", and excuses such as behavorial raising, or childhood abuse, but the fact is; it's personal preference, nothing more or less. You chose your path. Every man is genetically inheritent of feminin characteristics, and every woman is genetically inheritent of masculine characteristics, how you use these qualities is by choice. so, no mater how you discuss it, homosexuality is diviacy from the normal order of all that is in the universe. No other mammal on our planet expresses tendencies for same sex union except humans, and Sodom and Gamora were destroyed for it.

To the last anonymous poster who seems to imply th...

2007-03-20T13:10:00.000-04:00

To the last anonymous poster who seems to imply that the seduction kind of pedophilia is less damaging than a violent rape, you are very mistaken.

It is that seduction that does more damage, not less, leaving victims filled with shame for decades, believing they wanted it, deserved it, asked for it. It's manipulation on a grand scale.

At least when violence and fear is used, victims can more easily (though it's still difficult) forgive themselves. A seduction is incredibly twisted.

Your friend is fooling himself and perhaps you in thinking seduction does less damage. No matter the circumstances, being a victim of sexual abuse can often mean decades of dysfunction, sexual acting out or repression, alcoholism and addiction, self injury, trust issues (of themselves and others), and the list goes on.

Finally, there is NO comparison between homosexuality and sexual abuse of a child. The first involves consenting adults, the latter does not.

I must agree with most doctors in diagnosing pedop...

2007-03-20T06:56:00.000-04:00

I must agree with most doctors in diagnosing pedophilia as the desire of adult sexual tendencies of prepubesent aged children, however after having known a close friend who confessed to me his affliction I must add a comment. The most common conception of pedophilia isn't the same as a rapist, murderer, or those who desire to commit violence. A true child molester cannot physically harm anyone most of all his child victom. If a child tells him/her NO, he/she cannot perform any perpertration of any kind, it must be consentual by the child. Pedophiles have been described as monsters who hurt, beat, threaten, and kill their victoms. This isn't so. A rapist performs on the fear of his victom, a murderer destroy's his victom, and is actually engaged by the sight of blood. Sure pedophila is a disorder mental in nature, such as homosexuality, and other forms of sexual deviacy; but isn't it in the Bible that oral sex is against normal acceptance of sexual practice, and is illegal in many states. However many of us have engaged in oral sex from time to time, if it be homosexuality or hetrosexuality in nature? The monstrosity of violent crime is far more serious in nature, altough perpertrators of violent crime, murder, armed bank robery, drive-by-shootings serve a few months in jail and are back on the street. Most child molestors die in prison at the hand of the inmates. Bank robers are celebrated in prison as doing a service to promote the Robin Hood theory. Perpertrators of military crimes are rewarded as objects of valor in the line of duty. Drug offenders, producers, growers, and pushers, or other non-violent crimanals are sought out by the inmates for a stash from time to time. The morals of society need some rethinking, certainly not forgiving child molestors or rapist, but there should be justice for all, not just those who are popular in lock-up'd situations, or there is no justice.

Another courageous post by Dr. Weston. My applause...

2007-02-09T03:07:00.000-05:00

Another courageous post by Dr. Weston. My applause for her valor and dedication to the betterment of humanity.

These comments reflect the general sophistication of the public when it comes to working with this subject matter. Otherwise presumably reasonable, rational people are reduced to proposing such things as "brain surgery" for sex offenders. These people would probably have more sympathy for those who beat up their elderly parents, torture their young boys when they find them masturbating, or are routinely cruel to animals.

I believe, and perhaps the good doctor can correct me if I am wrong, that the vast majority of sex offenses are committed by family members, family friends, and trusted individuals that have a relationship with their victims. Offenses committed against children are sometimes carried out with the threat of violence or intimidation, but they are mostly manipulative and much more subtle. They are carried out by people that the children trust in ways that compromise the victims ability to exercise judgment and control. Perpetuation of the offense is based on creating guilt and shame in the victim, often right in front of other people that the child looks to for protection.

All this bluster about punishing and persecuting offenders is well and good for feeding the hysteria over these issues, but it won't protect our children. Kids usually know that if their father, step-father, brother, cousin, uncle, or other favorite person gets caught doing what they do, that they will loose them. The offenders remind them frequently. Again, the vast majority of these offenders are not strangers in the park, although thats how most people imagine these situations.

If we really want to protect our children from sexual predators, then we need to have them communicating with us, and we need to talk to them in ways that don't feed their fears. The real offenders count on this kind of hysteria to keep their victims silent. Ask yourself, "if my child's best friend were molesting them, would they tell me?"

I was first sexually molested, as a young teenager...

2007-02-08T22:37:00.000-05:00

I was first sexually molested, as a young teenager--by the choir director from the church that I attended. my parents trusted this man,explicitly. This was an educated man from the Bahamas,and being a young black male,in Florida,in the "fifties",my family refused to believe that this man was anything,but the perfect role model,for me. I knew better,but was too uninformed,as to know whom to turn to for help. I grew up to be a "gay" man,however,I do not blame this molester for my sexuality. Unlike a previous person,who seeks to blame planned parenthood,liberals,and everything under the sun,my blame goes directly to the perpetrator,for his actions.Finally,let me say,that even though I was molested by 3 different sex offenders and I'll never forget either one of them,(all three are now deceased),I have never had the inclination to molest anyone,and moved on with my life,without carrying that load of bitterness with me.
GJ in New Jersey

"Hate the sin, but love the sinner." I like that ...

2007-02-06T16:33:00.000-05:00

"Hate the sin, but love the sinner."

I like that quote, except the hate the sin part because hate might grow and keep growing in a negative direction...

I'm shocked that kids today are told to not say or do anything if they are being assaulted, shouldn't they let their intentions be known instead of leading someone on? I think it would be an advantage to the "molesters" to get kicked in the sack instead of drained of everything they ever own for the rest of their lives...basically meaning that the molesters and/or pedaphiles are jailed and screwed over instead of taught by someone who COULD teach them.

Should they not also be given the same chance at living decent lives? And I aggree with the writer about nuerological problems, maybe they either didn't learn that it's unacceptable behavior yet or they just have intent to commit the crime.

I must agree with the person who posted the commen...

2007-02-04T13:26:00.000-05:00

I must agree with the person who posted the comment above mine, with one exception: I think that we do need researchers like the person who wrote this article. Without research, we will never learn. And when we learn, we expand our consciousness.

So sick and tired of theories why people do thing....

2007-02-04T03:40:00.000-05:00

So sick and tired of theories why people do thing. I will never have pity for child molesters even if they were molested, special ed. etc because i was sexually molested and know others who were and these child molesters come from all walks of life, this article is unfounded not scientific nor even a great theory it is written by an apparent person who has never been molested. people like this researcher make the world worse.There is no excuse for child molesters, they are usually men with evil thoughts and actions who take the next step and act on these thoughts fed by the past 100 years of sexual liberation and the atheists . illliberals, NAMBLA, Planned parenthood, sex education in schools at kindergarten and the breakdown of families.

I have no direct experience with sex criminals. I...

2007-02-03T18:45:00.000-05:00

I have no direct experience with sex criminals. I believe that all who are convicted should undergo mandatory brain surgery to study their brains, so they would be giving something back to society in the form of information or data/research. At the end of surgury, thier brains should be removed. If nothing were learned from the data collected, then at least they would be terminated so the cycle of pain and fear would be terminated. I think it is true that most sex offenders were victimized previously. Compasion to the criminal must end now.

I must also disagree with the researcher's conclus...

2007-02-03T15:02:00.000-05:00

I must also disagree with the researcher's conclusions. It's a very far stretch to state that a person who failed a grade had a prenatal or perinatal problem. I venture to say that most people who fail a grade do so because of emotional problems or other stressors. Also, I would love to know how many of those men had been victims of sexual abuse. It is a known fact that many sexual abusers were abused as children. The way to stop the cycle is to stop the abusers.

A lot of parets worry about their kids getting mol...

2007-02-03T15:01:00.000-05:00

A lot of parets worry about their kids getting molested, I know my parents were when it happened to me. But this guy was supposedly a man of God. He was an evangelist! I never told everything that had happened between us and probably never will. He will be in prison till I'm 30 and I' 15 yrs old now.

Thank's for your article. But I must at some poin...

2007-02-03T09:11:00.000-05:00

Thank's for your article. But I must at some point disagree with the results ("rates of grade failure or special education") - The case I know of is of a teacher (male). When his victims threatened to tell on him, his answers where: "Who would believe you, I am a respectable teacher and shall refer to that you are in need for extra guidance"..
A TV-station here in Iceland has done a remarkable job in catching these offenders (http://www.visir.is/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=VEFMIDLAR&Template=VefTV&ChannelID=10&ProgID=29303&ProgType=19002).
Once they caught a pedafiler in detention who was on leave.
Regards
Anna Kristin in Iceland