Survivors Can Thrive!

Freedom to Heal!

2009-07-13T22:04:00.003-06:00

Friday Update: The carnival edition is up! Check out all the great links. The format is really cool! Mile 191 has done a great job hosting. And leave comments of support at the participating blogs, won't you? Thanks!

The theme for the July Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is "Freedom to Heal." I'm excited to announce that Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet will be hosting this Friday, July 17. About this carnival edition, Mile 191 says, "I have come to realize that healing is a choice. We have the freedom to move into a better future and to not give even one more moment of our lives to our abusers. We are free from them and have power over our past as we realize that healing is freedom....possible, available....healing is worth fighting for."

Wow, Mile 191, I couldn't have said it better myself. Now I just know you are going to be a GREAT host! Hurry, folks! The deadline for Friday's carnival is Wednesday, July 15. You can use the Blog Carnival submission form here.

Helping Your Inner Child Help You

2009-07-09T19:45:00.001-06:00

Alice Miller in, Pictures of Childhood, refers to the "child within me." John Bradshaw, in Healing The Shame That Binds You, talks about "liberating your lost inner child."

There are entire books dedicated to "the inner child." One author, Lucia Capacchione, talks about becoming more creative, intuitive and playful by getting in touch with him/her in Recovery of Your Inner Child. This book's got great inner child exercises that are easy to do and I highly recommend it.

Even medical doctors are hopping on the "inner child" band wagon. Charles L. Whitfield, M.D. has written Healing the Child Within for adult children of dysfunctional families. Many of these books are listed at my Survivors Can Thrive! dot com site's Resources section, "Books for Survivors," with direct links to Amazon dot com.

But who is this inner child and why would we--as abuse and assault survivors--want to get to know him or her? I get asked this question a lot. I've also been asked to write about this topic for a guest post that will appear soon over at Michele's blo g about healing PTSD.

Actually, this is one of my favorite "healing and therapy" topics. I love talking about my inner child!

But, this topic wasn't always so rosy for me. One of my earlier therapists back in Illinois asked me to pull out a photograph of myself as a baby. As soon as I got on my reading glasses and really looked into my tiny little face in this photo, I began to sob. Immediately, I realized that my vulnerable, precious, innocent child self was holding immense pain.

In those early days of therapy, I did not want to look at my inner child. Her pain just scared me too much. I thought that I would get lost in it; it would swallow me whole.

I can definitely relate to the idea of the inner child as the "exile" in the book, The Mosaic Mind,
as well as in the Internal Family Systems model of therapy developed by Richard Schwartz PhD. For me, my wounded inner child was long ago exiled to a land far away so that I could get things done, get good grades, be successful, appear reliable and dependable...and not look like I was "crazy" or a "loser."

I have "firefighter" parts (another IFS term) who have gone to great, dysfunctional lengths to keep these fearful, sad, lonely, abandoned exile parts quiet. I've run away in dissociative fugues, I've drank myself into a stupor, I've had sex with questionable partners, I've binged on chocolate and I've spent too much money.

But, the exiled, dissociated, cut-off inner child won't stay quiet forever. She's got a message to deliver, a debt that needs to be paid.

At first, I had no idea what it was she was trying to tell me. I was so cut off from my feelings (and my own body) that I could not listen to them, nor honor them. When I went down to the Colin Ross trauma unit in Dallas a few years ago, I was shocked and dismayed to be given a handout of "feeling words" that contained columns of emotion descriptions that I didn't even know were feelings! Now, I'm a writer and I consider myself to have a pretty strong vocabulary, but I just stared at these words at first; they meant nothing to me on any personal level.

But, the folks at the Ross program have their ways. They gave us patients hand-outs with exercises to complete as homework. And, boy, did these get the feelings going! In fact, I had to work with my assigned therapist there to come up with ways that I could pace myself, instead of being completely flooded with the new-found feelings.

If there's anything I've found that helps get in touch with that sometimes-illusive inner child it is FEEL THE FEELINGS! I recommend that you work with a qualified, experienced therapist in order to succeed at this without re-traumatizing yourself.

But, what I really want to talk about here is how to comfort your inner child. If you're like me and you never had any healthy bonding or attachment with your biological mother, there may be some real re-parenting that needs to happen to help your healing.

Some comforting strategies that I've found helpful are easy to do, quite generic and would probably work for most people. I've got an antique rocking chair that I drug out from the basement and positioned prominently in a cozy little reading nook I have in my home. I have an amazingly soft throw blanket that's stationed on the back of the rocker for soothing and warmth. Simply wrapping myself in the soft throw and rocking away works wonders some days. In the summertime, I find the same joy and sweet soothing on my porch swing.

Most folks I've consulted talk about "stuffies," stuffed animals that they find helpful. Now, I find that I'm a little shy about walking around dragging a beloved, raggedy stuffy with me. And most of the stuffed animals I've bought for myself as an adult have ended up being "adopted" by my own son. But, what I have done is reclaimed some of these cushy animals and I've recently given them an honored spot in a beautiful, old baby buggy I found at an antique doll shop. For everyday snuggling and comfort, I keep a small, spotted cat in my bedside drawer. After my husband awakes and exits the bed (he's an early riser), I'll get out my kitty and snuggle with it on days that I feel my inner children need some comfort. This is especially helpful if I've had a night that consisted of any flashbacks, night fears or nightmares.

If you spend some time thinking about how attached many kids get to their beloved stuffed animals, it can give you some hints for other ways of comforting your inner child. Just think of anything that you always wanted as a child. What were some of the things you asked Santa to bring you for Christmas? Remember how the adults in the movie, The Santa Clause, always wanted a "Dream Date" game and an Oscar Mayer wiener whistle?

Now, you don't have to wait for Santa. Go out and get yourself something kid-like that you always dreamed of when you were little. For me, it was a dollhouse. This was something I always wanted and never got when I was little. So, guess what I did? I went to the craft store and purchased an easy-assembly doll house kit and put it together and painted it. Over the past two years, I've been having a ball buying little miniature furniture pieces, potted plants, kitchen items and tiny porcelain dolls for my inner child's doll house. It's a splurge, but it's fun and my inner child is worth it and she deserves it!

Little inner child comforts, treats and pamperings don't have to cost a fortune. They can be easy to come by, but full of rewards. How 'bout getting some colorful sprinkles on that sundae the next time you treat yourself at the ice cream parlor? Why not read yourself a bedtime story while you sit in that rocking chair? Remember the lullaby songs you sang to your child when he or she was an infant? Singing them to your own inner child can be amazingly soothing when your feelings get hurt or you feel wounded or scared in some other way.

Why not buy your inner child some coloring books and some crayons? If you feel embarrassed in the check-out lane, you can always say you're buying these child-like items for a baby shower, child or grandchild. Heck, most people won't even ask, so there's no need to tell. Some friends and neighbors have given me a few curious looks about my doll house, but I just explain that it's a hobby, a creative outlet and--with some trusted others--a gift to my inner child. I've always gotten a smile and a knowing nod or look at the latter explanation.

Comfort food is a whole other category. Why do you think they call it comfort food any way? Maybe because it comforts your inner child! While I love a home-cooked meal of fried chicken and mashed potatoes, I have to be careful with comfort food, because I can have a tendency to binge and to gain too much weight. But, I've found that the simplest little things can qualify as comforting in the food category. Remember those sprinkles I spoke of earlier? I bought myself a little jar of them off the shelf in the baking goods aisle of the grocery store and I give myself a shake of them on a little dip of ice cream now and then. I also like whipped cream for a little treat that tells my inner child, "you're special, you're adorable and I love you." Try a little on your coffee in the morning for a quick, inner child pick-me-up. For a totally low fat comforter, hot herbal tea does wonders.

Some fragrances are "tasty" and comforting, but aren't taken internally at all. No calories there! I especially like honey vanilla lip balm (you can find these at health food stores) and hand lotion with the fragrance of cherry blossoms.

Every person I've ever met with DID (previously MPD) talks about their "littles," or little child parts or alters. I especially like Buffalopine's idea of carrying a small toy in her pocket to soothe her littles. In this blog post, she talks about carrying a Stuart Little key chain with her for an entire year. What inner child wouldn't like a little mouse friend to keep him company?

Speaking of Stuart Little, I've talked to lots of folks who, like myself, really enjoy the inner child treat of watching children's movies. If you're too shy to walk into a children's, G-rated movie without a kid in tow, you can always rent one to watch in the privacy of your own home.

I'm smiling right now just thinking of all these comforting, fun, playful ideas for my inner child recovery program. I can't wait to get off the computer and put some of these ideas into action for my own inner child right away. What would you like to do today to comfort and please your inner child? Don't wait! Get up and do some little thing for your little self right now. And leave me a comment with your favorite inner child comforts, play-date ideas and treats and we'll compile and even bigger list!

Zig-Zag

2009-06-25T19:44:00.002-06:00

My husband re-installed Firefox for me. Yay! Internet Explorer was "working" but kept telling me that it couldn't connect me to various websites and blogs and giving me error messages and shutting down. So, I didn't make it to all the blog carnival posts yet, sorry.

So, now I'm back online just in time to be going out of town. Pooey! I'll be back right after the 4th. I keep thinking of you all, even when I don't have much of a presence online. I'll be back soon and will try to actually write a post of some substance as soon as I can. Stay cool, bloggy buddies!

Silver Anniversary Blog Carnival

2009-06-19T09:10:00.002-06:00

Can you believe it? It's our Silver Anniversary--25th Edition--of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. Thanks to all of you who have submitted posts, read, left comments, hosted and supported this awareness-raising blog carnival for 25 editions. Survivors and Survivor Supporters rock!

The June carnival edition is up right now over at Cornnut's blog, Picture of Experience. We have a lot of new participants this month and we got seven entries for the theme of Fathers, Father's Day and Parents.

Please link on over and visit the carnival, read the posts and leave comments where you're able. Also, if you could link to the carnival from your blog or Tweet, etc. about it, that would be great. Your support is always appreciated greatly!

Update on the Fly

2009-06-14T08:34:00.002-06:00

I've been having probs with my computer again. I haven't been able to get online for a few days. My husband actually got me here today, so I thought I'd put up a quick update before I can't get on again.

The Blogging for a Cause charity for the isurvive survivor forum I spoke of in the post below actually won them their funding. So, they got their money. Hooray! The power of survivors and the Internet comes through!

Don't forget to get your posts ready and make your submissions for the June edition of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. We'll be talking this month about fathers and parents. The deadline is Wednesday for a Friday (June 19) edition over at Cornnut's blog, Picture of Experience. She'll be a great host, I just know it! You can use this submission form here.

Abuse Survivors Learning to Thrive

2009-06-05T10:04:00.005-06:00

No, the headline for this post is NOT one of my slogans for my blog and website, Survivors Can Thrive! But, I sure do love it because it is such a great fit for the message I aspire to in my real life and the awareness-raising blog world in which I circulate.

This is actually a slogan and subhead you will find on the home page of a message board and forum for survivors called isurvive. This forum currently has 829 registered members who have created over 88 thousand posts.

The topics in these posts are excellent and pertinent for survivors and their supporters: artwork and poetry; breaking the cycle; male survivors; sexual abuse; ritual abuse; dependence and much more. The forum is, of course, moderated and has a good safety policy. It looks like a very safe and supportive place.

Before I really got into blogging, the first thing I was involved in was posting on a couple of online forums very similar to isurvive. In fact, this was the first "forum" (pun intended) where I really felt like I could share my feelings and write from the heart, before I got the courage to do it here at my own blog. I found a lot of support and a true feeling that I am not alone--even on a truly international scale.

Because I am so involved in blogging, The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, Twitter and The Child Abuse ning network (see my sidebar for widgets and links to these), I no longer visit the survivor message boards. The volume there is difficult for me to keep up with at this time. Whew, I can barely keep up with Twitter and all its updates are limited to 140 characters!

But, I really want to encourage you to look into isurvive. Right now, they provide a wonderful service and they are struggling financially. I'm blogging about them today as a way to help them raise much-needed funds. A commenter at my blog--My Monster--turned me on to this cause through this post.

I also heard about it from Faith Allen at Blooming Lotus. I follow Faith through the sources I'm involved in that I mentioned above. In this post here, Faith says, "Over the last six years, I have met, supported, and by supported by hundreds, if not thousands, of child abuse survivors at Isurvive. My life is so much richer for having been touched by these very giving people – all people who were once wounded beyond imagination and now have the courage to reach out and help heal others."

Faith also asks that we include the following information: Note to readers — If Isurvive has touched your life, please consider writing about Isurvive on your own blog. If Isurvive gets enough blog entries, the charity could receive a cash award to help further its efforts.

This blog post is part of Zemanta’s “Blogging For a Cause” campaign to raise awareness and funds for worthy causes that bloggers care about.

If you'd like to get involved, please hurry! Tomorrow--June 6th--is the last day for this Blogging for a Cause campaign. Let's help a forum that helps survivors, shall we? I'm glad I did!

Remembering "Veteran" Survivors

2009-05-28T20:32:00.008-06:00

Hello, everybody. It's Friday, May 29th. Welcome to the May edition of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. Since Memorial Day just past here in the states, we have a memorial or memory theme for this, our 24th, edition of the carnival.

Thanks to everyone who submitted posts this month and thanks--in advance--for reading and leaving supportive comments at the blogs of our courageous contributors. Trigger Warning: Keep yourself safe as you read. Understandably, child abuse can be a very triggering subject.

ChildPerson from Child Person from the South says it all in the headline for her post, Celebrating Child Abuse Survivors: Veterans of Wars on the Home Front. I like this quote from her post: "So, this May, while taking time to honor those military casualties and veterans of foreign wars, let’s take a moment to remember those who died in home front wars and to honor those who survived." Amen!

Nomorehurt presents Honoring Your Troops posted at Abuse Recovery, saying, "A reader requested I submit this. I hope it is something you'd like to include." I was the reader, actually. I am getting to know Nomorehurt over at Polyvore, where we're both working on art therapy collages. I thought her post was perfect for our theme...maybe you'll agree.

Mike McBride, who runs the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network, almost didn't get his post in on time this month. But, he was able to squeeze in, Carnival Against Child Abuse - Memories and I'm so glad he did. It's a good message for all of us. His blog is posted at Child Abuse Survivor.

Advocacy & Awareness

After blogging with Bloggers Unite against slavery in March, I found myself very touched by this next article. It was submitted by Surbhi and it's entitled, Child Labour: Disgrace for the Society posted at The Viewspaper.

Marcella Chester presents Leading Experts to Discuss How Preventing Violence and Abuse
at her wonderful awareness-raising blog, abyss2hope.

alchemynow is a new blogger and new to the carnival, presenting HOW DID THE ABUSE CHANGE US? posted at Stop the Storm. Welcome, alchemynow!

Lynda Hinkle is another wonderful advocate I've met on Twitter. She gives us International Exploitation of Children and the Sweden Solution posted at In the Best Interest: Child Advocacy Law.

Next, we have a post that hits close to home for me. It's called Raising A Highly Sensitive Child and it's from Concerning Kids. I have a highly sensitive child myself. I am so glad that he is safe with me. He has given me the great gift and opportunity to give a child unconditional love and break the cycle of abuse. Thanks for raising awareness about these youngsters, Concerning Kids.

JIP enlightens and informs us with Stupid comments, questions and statements about being a multiple posted at Lifes Spacings.

Noe is another blogger that I've been enjoying getting to know over at Twitter. She gives us a post that is a great reminder for parents who want to break the cycle of abuse. It is also a wonderful nudge for anyone struggling with perfectionism. And who isn't? Her post is called Your Perfect Child Is Not So Perfect and it's up at her blog, Bebelissimo.com. When she submitted her post, Noe said, "When a parent fails to understand that a perfect child is merely a movie character, his not so perfect child will unfortunately have to struggle a lot only to come up to his parent’s expectations. Demanding perfection from a child will put him under tremendous pressure; a parent who asks his child to perfect, will also pretend to be perfect himself."

Aftermath

Since we're talking about memorials, Memorial Day and memories, I thought I'd dig out an old post about the repression of my child sexual abuse memories. The post is called How Does One Retrieve Repressed Memories of Abuse? from my own Survivors Can Thrive! archives.

Healing & Therapy

Patricia Singleton is working on a wonderful survivor series called "Incest May Be a Part of My Life." Here, she presents part seven in the series: A Little Girl's Story---Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series---Part 7 from her blog, Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker. She remarks, "This article is about a little girl with a story to tell. She has no mouth to tell about the abuse. She has no feet so she can't run away from the abuse. The original story was written in 1989 to go along with the first in a series of oil paintings. This painting was about feelings."

This next post, from little sheep, is actually a poem. It's called, oh therapy! Since Little Sheep already has another poem in the poetry category, we've got this poem about--you guessed it--therapy in this Healing & Therapy category. Little Sheep writes at her blog, my (sick and ugly) story.

Colleen Spiro gives us some good, healthy perspective in her post, Smile over at her blog, Surviving by Grace.

Nancy presents Finding a Therapist posted at Heal and Forgive. I asked Nancy to submit this post in hopes that it may help someone in the search. Boy, I wish I had this information years ago. Thanks, Nancy!

Paul presents Journaling posted at Mind Parts, saying, "I am honored to submit this. Thanks for reading. Paul." Another educational and helpful post for survivors. Again, something I wish I had gotten advice on years ago. Thanks for that, Paul!

Just Be Real presents JUST BE REAL: PAIN in the CHANGE posted at JUST BE REAL. After reading JBR's post, I'm reminded that there is a lot of suffering for survivors, but "feeling the feelings" is so important for our healing.

buffalopine--another dear person I met on Twitter--presents The Struggles Within posted at Buffalopine's Blog. When sharing her story of living without dissociating, Buffalopine says in her post, "Today, my wings are fragile." I hope that this survivor community may be one of the things that gives you and your new wings strength, Buffalopine. Thanks for sharing with us.

In The News

Shiv Dravid presents SEX AND THE CITI-ZENS! posted at The Viewspaper. Thanks for joining us for the carnival and raising awareness about child sexual abuse in Inida.

I'm glad that the story about child abuse within the industrial schools and orphanages run by the Catholic church in Ireland got some press and blogging time. My friend, Marcella, always does an excellent job of covering these "In The News" stories. Here, she presents Irish Catholic Church Child Abuse posted at her blog, abyss2hope.

vjack is also blogging on this issue in Catholic Responses to Irish Child Abuse Conspiracy posted at Atheist Revolution.

Poetry

nipper presents Like A Rose posted at NIPPERCAT'S HOME.

little sheep wrote may 10-poem for her blog, my (sick and ugly) story. I was just talking to my therapist about something similar today. Hhmmmm...how did she know? Thanks for sharing, Little Sheep.

Rick Belden wrote a poem about how trauma is stored in our bodies in, body memory posted at poetry, dreams, and the body, saying, "Marj, Thank you for organizing the carnival for everyone. If you decide on a 'father' theme in June, I'll have something to submit for that as well." Thanks in advance, Rick!

JIP presents Little lost angels posted at Lifes Spacings. It reminds us of the inhumane way that adults can actually treat little innocent, helpless children. Thanks for your honest and courage in sharing, JIP.

I'm noticing for this--our 24th--edition of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, that we have more male survivors coming forward to share their stories, we also have several new carnival participants joining us and more international representation here. I'm very happy to see that. Now, let's make sure we get out there in cyberland and thank these folks for raising awareness with us by visiting their blogs and leaving comments. Thanks!

Please Note: We're looking for a new host for the June carnival. Some of you who have been participating by submitting posts to the carnival for a while may want to consider hosting a monthly edition. It's really quite easy, and I help you through it every step of the way. Come on, you can do it! Leave me a comment if you're willing (for June or anytime in the future).

All blog carnival entries are saved for our next monthly edition, no matter when they are submitted. So, if you'd like to get an early start and submit your blog post for next month, you can use our carnival submission form right here.

Child Abuse "Veterans" Remembered

2009-05-26T08:19:00.004-06:00

After getting some feedback from some of you, thank you very much, I've decided that we'll go with the Memorial Day/Memory theme for May's Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse and we can use the Parent Day/Father's Day theme in June if we want to.

In the wake of the United States holiday we call Memorial Day, we can choose to be survivors-turning-thrivers and put our victim status to rest. We can think of our childhood abuse as simply a memory, but not as charged as it was before therapy and/or healing. Or, you can choose to focus your submission post on what it's been like for you in therapy, processing childhood trauma memories.

But, that's just a theme and nobody's bound by it. We still have our regular submission categories every month: Survivor Stories; Aftermath; Poetry; In-The-News; Advocacy & Awareness; and Healing & Therapy. So you can submit for the theme or go with one of the six categories. Just hurry! The deadline is tomorrow--Wednesday--for our Friday, 5/29 edition. You can use this handy-dandy submission form here. As often happens, for some reason, our submission form over at BC is way down on the page. So, when you click on the link, just scroll down to get to it.

Update/Please Note: Like we've done before--if you've submitted your post already, leave me a comment saying so. That way, I won't come and bug you to get your submission in. So far--of the bloggers I have on my blogroll--I have submissions from: Patricia Singleton at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker; Marcella at Abyss2Hope; Little Sheep at My Story; Nancy at Heal & Forgive; JIP at Life Spacings; Just Be Real; Colleen at Surviving by Grace; Buffalopine; and Mary at Nippercat.

Am I forgetting anybody? I haven't sorted through all the spam yet and we always get a lot of last-minute entries (I'm the biggest offender!), so let me know if you submitted your post. Thanks! See ya Friday!

I am Not a Burden, I am a Child

2009-05-22T15:11:00.006-06:00

Today, as is every Friday, it's "Follow Friday" at Twitter. Also today, there seemed to be an unusually large amount of activity--or "Tweets"--raising awareness about child abuse. I was psyched, man! I was doing "Retweets"--where you highlight and repeat another person's tweet--all over the place!

But, the more I looked at these linked news articles, blog posts, YouTube videos and tweets, the more upset I got. A few of them really brought the tears on for me. I decided I needed a little art therapy, so I went over to Polyvore and created a collage.

I am Not a Burden I am a Child by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com

I think what got it all started--the feeling of the intense feelings, I mean--was a news article at CBS about the recent rise in reports of child abuse. I searched the topic "child abuse" at YouTube to see if the news video was posted there. You know me, the cyber klutz: It's the only way I know how to post videos here at my blog.

I didn't find a copy of the child abuse report, but what I did find was some information on one of my favorite charities: Childhelp. Right now, if you vote for Martina McBride for the CMT Music Awards and she wins, CMT will donate money to Childhelp! Very cool! Phew! I was looking for some good news.

I am not a huge country music fan, but I am a huge fan of advocates for child abuse prevention and awareness. Go, Martina! Kudos to her for choosing Childhelp as her charity of choice and for raising awarness about child abuse through her video and song, Concrete Angel.

Things That Make A Difference

2009-05-16T06:48:00.003-06:00

I'm taking a break from organizing The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse and Bloggers Unite awareness days and thought I'd just write an update about me and my survivor journey.

I'm feeling quite well right now. In fact, I think I feel so well emotionally, that I haven't caught the nasty cold and cough that my husband has had for a week. It's amazing how that mind-body connection thing works, huh?

I was exhausted from lots of extra trauma processing therapy, so I've been doing some nice things for myself, resting, gardening, etc. I think that's made a difference for me staying physically healthy. During some recent "extra" therapy sessions processing some really icky, terrifying torture memories, I noticed that my IBS had really flared up. But, I took some measures to help with that and I notice that my guts feel better now, too. Yipppeee!

While I was a bit distracted, I got tagged with a couple of bloggy awards. I want everyone to know how much these mean to me. I'm a little embarrassed to admit just how touched and tickled I get receiving these, to be honest. I have some rejected, abandoned, little child parts who still just really want to be liked and accepted. And these awards just seem to go straight to the heart of all that.

First, Cornnut at Picture of Experience has created a whole new award. Is that cool, or what? It's called The Make A Difference Award. Now, as usual, I can't get Cornnut's award graphic to load here, but it has a really great quote on it from JFK that I want to share: "One person can make a difference and every person should try." Excellent, well said, and I so agree!

You know what's amazing? Three days after I received word about this Make a Difference Award, I got a comment from Just Be Real and she's made up her own award as well. Man, I wish I were as cyber savvy as these gals! Just Be Real's award is aptly named, the "Just Be Real" Award. I've always liked the name of her blog and I love the name of this award.

I think one of the reasons I'm so touched at receiving both of these awards is because they recognize what I try to do at my blog:

Make a Difference in the areas of assault survivor advocacy and child abuse awareness and
Be Real, share my story and be real, open and honest with it.

The best part for me is, raising awareness and being real and sharing my story have really helped me in my healing. Another thing I've recently discovered that's helped is art therapy. I originally wanted to major in art therapy in college. But, the state-supported university that I attended did not have a major in art therapy, so I went into commercial art and advertising instead. But, you know what? You don't have to have a degree or seek out a professional art therapist to reap the benefits of art therapy. I've gotten so much out of striking out on my own and trying my hand at poetry, sketching out drawings in my journal and making collages.

I used to make the cut-and-paste type collages with pictures and words clipped from magazines. But, recently I've discovered computer collage at Polyvore. My most recent project is that I'm compiling collages and pairing them with some of my poems.

Here is a recent pairing that I think speaks to my current survivor journey status. Maybe you can relate.

Child Fly Away

I love and cherish you
And I know you love me too
Come now and we will dance and play
And then we’ll simply fly away

I can feel your pain
I know they tried to break you
You’re helpless, sad, alone
No peace within

I can tell you’re tired
I see a child who’s tortured
With trying to atone
For unknown sin

Hey, let’s fly away
We’ve struggled with chains too long
Let’s grab this chance so we can see
If we are ever to be free

Why wait here in the dark?
All it can ever show you
Is pain and it’s the pain
That you still fear

I can see the light
In my heart faith remains
And I know that this is it
Our chance is here

I love and cherish you
And now I know you feel love too
Now we can dance and run and play
Then we just simply fly away

Away
Away
Come let’s fly away
We’ll fly away

Copyright 2002 Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved

Heard of Fibromyalgia?

2009-05-12T13:46:00.002-06:00

I'm interested in fibromyalgia because I keep running into survivors who have it. It seems to be right up there with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and migraines--which I suffer with--as survivor health issues that there are no cures for.

Today is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, so I thought I'd talk about it here. The first person I ever met with fibromyalgia was a roommate I had during one of my hospital stints. She was in so much pain that I felt like I should never complain about my IBS or migraines again. Her pain was pervasive and she had had many tests before her diagnosis.

Many of us are aware that fibromyalgia involves widespread pain and fatigue. But there are some common myths around the condition. The Mayo Clinic website has a helpful article that busts nine common myths about fibromyalgia. I have summarized the first six below.

Myth: Most doctors don't believe fybromyalgia is a real condition. Truth: Fibromyalgia is defined by a list of symptoms and most doctors believe these symptoms are real.
Myth: Fibromyalgia damages your joints. Truth: While the pain of fibromyalgia may be severe, it does not damage your muscles, joints or bones.
Myth: You look fine so there's nothing wrong with you. Truth: Friends, family and co-workers may hold this belief because they don't understand. Be willing to talk about it. Raise awareness.
Myth: You got the fibromyalgia diagnosis because your doctor couldn't find anything wrong with you. Truth: Fibromyalgia is a specific diagnosis based on a specific set of criteria devleoped by The American College of Rheumatology. But, diagnosing fibromyalgia can take time because there's no single test that can confirm you have it.
Myth: Fibromyalgia only causes pain. Truth: People with fibromyalgia also often experience fatigue and difficulty sleeping, headaches, sensitivity to light, dizziness, memory problems, and numbness and tingling in the arms and legs. IBS, bladder control problems and mood disorders often accompany fibromyalgia.
Myth: It's no use going to the doctor because no treatments for the condition exist. Truth: There's no standard treatment for it, but the FDA has now approved one drug for treating fibromyalgia and there are many options for controlling the pain, including medications, lifestyle changes, and alternative treatments.

Tell Me What Kind of Blog Carnival You Want

2009-05-12T10:24:00.002-06:00

Just a quick post to say that I think I'm just going to do the May Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse myself. Yeah, I know...May is already almost half over. Guess I've been busy. I've had some really intense torture trauma processing issues that have made it necessary for me to do three hours of therapy a week lately. Man, I'm beat!

Anyway, I think I'll have the carnival edition run on Friday, May 29 with a submission deadline of Wednesday, May 27. You can submit a post anytime, using the handy submission form here.

As far as an edition theme goes, since this is right after Memorial Day, maybe we should have a theme about "In memory of...our old victim status," or we could focus on memories and flashbacks. Or, we could talk about Mother's Day and how that holiday is difficult for survivors. We could talk about motherless children. We could focus on creating new families and becoming parents ourselves. Any ideas? What would you like to focus on?

Let's Raise Awareness About: Domestic Violence

2009-05-09T20:58:00.002-06:00

I promised the bloggers over at Bloggers Unite that I'd write today about Domestic Violence Awareness. I've gotten most of the information I've used to raise my awareness about domestic violence through my friend Tery (Teresa Lynne) at her blog, Teardrops on Roses.

I really respect Tery. She is a very strong and courageous woman. One of the things I find so admirable about her is that she did something my own mother was not capable of doing: she protected her children from her abusive husband. You can read an interview where Tery is telling part of her story in "Finding The Courage to Leave" here.

Tery and her girls left the alcoholic abuser with only the clothes on their backs. As for protecting her offspring, Tery is quoted as saying, "Having three daughters, I needed to get them away from a bad situation before they became victims of violence themselves.”

Hurray for you, Tery!

One of the reasons I feel so strongly about Domestic Violence is because it is not possible for it not to have an eventual effect on the children in the household. My own ex husband was only physically violent with me once. When we were separated he became enraged, grabbed me by the arm and threw me to the ground. But, all during our marriage, he did things that were very controlling, humiliating and sexually abusive. I made sure that I did not have any children with this unhealthy person and got a divorce when he would not cooperate with marital counselling. I did not want to bring any children into that situation and I'm glad I was able to avoid that.

My own mother was a different story. She did divorce my abusive father, but never did a thing to protect her three children from his abuse. I've repressed a lot of abuse memories from my childhood. One memory, however, I have never forgotten: It is the memory of being awakened in the middle of the night to the shrill sounds of my screaming mother.

My father had her arm wrenched behind her back and my mother was in pain. My older brother came out into the hallway and asked what was going on. My mother used that moment of distraction to get away and run across the street to the neighbors to call the police.

Can you believe what happened next? Well, if you've been reading my blog for very long, you probably can guess. My mother left her innocent, vulnerable, tiny children alone with the raging maniac that she had to make sure she got away from. They eventually divorced, but my mother never did anything to fight the visitation rights given to my father.

Yes, folks, we need to raise awareness about domestic violence. We need to fight it and provide protection and respite for domestic violence victims. You never know how many lives you may be saving when you help a battered woman. She may have children who need protecting as well.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Their website is here.

Poem in My Pocket; Hope in My Heart

2009-05-01T16:30:00.006-06:00

Did you know, yesterday was Poem in Your Pocket Day? It was a way to finish off National Poetry Month.

I think I may have mentioned that I spend several hours a week babysitting an adorable toddler who is in the custody of my friends--her grandparents--after being neglected by her parents. Lately, we've been strolling to parks. The other day, we discovered dandelions together and I showed the little cutie pie how to blow the seeds off the "fluff puffs."

She's almost two and she's at that age where she's willing to try anything you ask her to try and say. I bought her grand-folks a book: Baby Signs. We've all been teaching the precious one signs and it just helped her verbal skills explode! It sure was cute to hear her say, "fluff puff!" and blow those seeds into the wind!

She and the current spring weather are really giving me joy, delight and hope lately. This little girl inspired me to write a haiku poem. I got to see the little angel an extra couple of hours yesterday, so her namesake poem was my choice for the poem in my pocket.

Here it is:

Rosy-Cheeked Cherub

rosy-cheeked cherub
reaches down to pick flower
wonder, beauty, life!

Copyright 2009, Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved

Fluff Puffs & Wonder by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com

Unite for Hunger and Hope Today!

2009-04-29T11:31:00.004-06:00

I'm really enjoying being part of Bloggers Unite. Today is the day they have designated as Bloggers Unite Day for Hunger and Hope.

I know I'm usually raising awareness about child abuse and advocating for sexual violence survivors. So, why do I think this is a good fit for me and my blog?

Well, I agree with this:

"Poverty is the worst form of violence."~ Gandhi

I also agree with this:

"We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, ... The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty." ~ Mother Teresa

Also, I consider malnutrition and poverty a global abuse of our planet's children. Poverty and hunger affect our planet's children in a profound way. Estimates vary, but an alarming estimate from Unicef says that 25,000 children die every day -- that's a child dying every 3.5 seconds! --from poverty, hunger and easily-preventable diseases.

Like Nelson Mandela, I believe that poverty is not natural. It is man-made. The good news is that we can also end poverty by man-made means. I know it seems like such an overwhelmingly vast problem. What can you and I do about it?

Well, one charity that I like a lot is Heifer International. For almost 60 years, Heifer has been helping people all over the world obtain sustainable sources of food and income. Heifer helps build sustainable communities and puts impoverished people on the road to self-reliance by teaching animal management and environmentally sound agriculture techniques.

So where do you and I come in? Well, for the past three years at Christmas/holiday time, my family has been giving the gift of Heifer animals in honor of our friends and family and our son's school teachers. These folks love "receiving" this kind of gift and many of them have started this tradition for their own friends and family.

For as little as $20 you can send a flock of chicks who will grow into hens who can each lay up to 200 protein-rich eggs a year. For $120, you can give the gift of a goat. A good dairy goat can provide up to a ton of milk in a year! Okay, so let's say you don't eat meat, eggs or milk and you don't want to encourage that. Well, for only $30, you can help a family learn how to keep bees. You can help a struggling family earn income from the sale of honey, beeswax and pollen. Since bees pollinate fruit and vegetable crops, a beehive can be a boost to an entire village.

"The one message that we are trying to promote all the time, that poverty in the world is an artificial creation. It doesn't belong to human civilization, and we can change that..." ~ Muhammad Yunus, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate (2006)

One of the things that gift-givers like about Heifer International is that they provide a hand-up, rather than just a hand-out. I like that, too. I'm glad to be a supporter of Heifer and I'm glad that Bloggers Unite is highlighting their efforts as we unite for Hunger and Hope.

"True compassion is more than throwing a coin to a beggar. It demands of our humanity that if we live in a society that produces beggars, we are morally commanded to restructure that society." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Child Abuse Prevention Month: Some Good News

2009-04-24T11:09:00.005-06:00

Well, Child Abuse Prevention Month is drawing to a close. I don't feel like I participated in as much advocacy and awareness-raising for this month as I would have liked to. I've been dealing with a lot of "feeling the feelings" and grieving from my own child abuse history. I want to thank everyone who sent cyber hugs and kept me in your thoughts and prayers this past week. I have to say, the outpouring of compassion I received here at my blog, through e-mail, and on Twitter and The Child Abuse Survivor ning network has been truly touching. This survivor community means a lot to me.

Through my therapy and healing journey, I've learned how to keep healthy grief from turning into despair. One of the ways we can do that is by answering the question: "What can I do?" Another way to avoid despair is to look at the good news and the victories in child protection.

Connect for Kids has a wonderful article reprinted on their website that highlights the Top Youth Activism Victories of 2008.

I found the highlights list inspiring. Here are some victory examples:

A farm labor coalition that's working to end involuntary servitude (slavery) and improve wages and conditions for pickers
An acknowledgment of disappearing, traditional blue-collar labor and creation of green collar jobs; equipping young workers with the skills to work in renewable energy industries
Student-led solutions: Students keep their peers in school and combat high school dropout rates

It's a relief and an inspiration to learn what others are doing to improve the lives of children. But, what can we do to prevent child abuse? Here are some tips from a couple of my favorite "ways to prevent abuse" lists.

From Prevent Child Abuse America:

Anything you do to support kids and parents can help reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect.
- Be a friend to a parent you know. Ask how their children are doing. Draw on your own experiences to provide reassurance and support. If a parent seems to be struggling, offer to baby-sit or run errands, or just lend a friendly ear. Show you understand.
- Be a friend to a child you know. Remember their names. Smile when you talk with them. Ask them about their day at school. Send them a card in the mail. Show you care.
- Talk to your neighbors about looking out for one another's children. Encourage a supportive spirit among parents in your apartment building or on your block. Show that you are involved.
- Give your used clothing, furniture and toys for use by another family. This can help relieve the stress of financial burdens that parents sometimes take out on their kids.
- Volunteer your time and money for programs in your community that support children and families, like parent support groups or day care centers.

Here are some tips for protecting children from sexual abuse from Darkness to Light:

Learn the facts
Minimize opportunity
Talk about it
Stay alert
Make a plan
Act on suspicions
Get involved

I'll leave you with a video from the Child Welfare Information Gateway, which has a lot of information on Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Be informed. Get involved.

They Kept Me From the Pain

2009-04-21T10:51:00.003-06:00

Hurting so bad right now. I guess it's progress, really. I'm finally feeling the things that my parts kept from me so that I could survive as a little, helpless girl. But, it is anguish.

When I put up all those advocacy posts, it makes me feel somewhat better. But, it doesn't mean it's "business as usual" and I'm feeling fine.

Hardly slept at all last night. It's been several days in a row not sleeping well. Today, after an "extra" T session yesterday, I'm exhausted and can't seem to stop crying. I'd better pull myself together because I've promised to babysit my little toddler neighbor and take her to the park this afternoon. Hope that helps me feel better--just pray I have the energy. Safe hugs to all other survivors out there who are hurting.

Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse

2009-04-19T11:11:00.007-06:00

Today, starting at 8:00 a.m., Eastern Time, they ran. They ran in Washington D.C. as part of the Race and Rally to Stop The Silence of Child Sexual Abuse. It was the sixth annual event and they're raising more funds and more awareness every year.

Here's a video about the event:

Now, I'm no runner. And--as much as I'd love to see those cherry blossoms this time of year-- I just couldn't get out to D.C. to go to this rally in person (I hope to some day). But, I'm raising awareness here, at the Child Abuse Survivor ning network and on Twitter. And there's still more that you can do TODAY for this event as well.

First off, check out StopCSA's website to learn more about the cause: As Stop CSA says, It's everyone's problem. For instance, did you know?

73 percent of prostitutes were sexually abused before the age of 16;
83 percent of convicted killers (men and women) were physically and emotionally abused as children, and 32.2 percent were sexually abused;
60 percent of teenage mothers were sexually abused as children;
43 percent of runaways are sexually abused

In fact, in the US alone, there are 40-60 MILLION survivors of childhood sexual abuse. One in three girls and one in six boys in the US will be sexually abused by their 18th birthday. Yes, it is everyone's problem.

Here are some more links, stats, and photos and ways to get involved at the StopCSA site:

For stats and info on mental health-related problems, substance abuse issues and prevalence in the general population click the "The Cause: Child Sexual Abuse" page.
If you are a survivor of CSA and you want to tell some of your story and share your photo on their web site, please check out StopCSA's "A Call to Action to Survivors" page.
If you'd like to read an example of what one survivor had to share, go to the "A Survivor Speaks Out" page.
If you'd like to view a beautiful slide show of survivors click here.

Now, please consider making a donation to Stop the Silence, StopCSA.org:

Click here: to make a secure donation through Paypal.
If you'd rather make a purchase with proceeds going to StopCSA, visit the online mall here.

Don't forget, childhood sexual abuse is everyone's problem. So, do what you can to raise awareness today and all month long during April's Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness month. I'm off to the Child Abuse Survivor network, Bloggers Unite and Twitter to continue spreading the word. Won't you tweet, join a discussion thread or blog today, too?

Please Note: Rainbow from Haunted House and Child Person from the South have already put up blog posts to Stop the Silence. If you post about it, let me know and I'll link to your blog post, too!

Update: Here are a couple more brave bloggers who submitted posts to Stop the Silence: Mom Writes for a Cause and The Filipina Mom in Denmark. Thanks for your contributions!

If child sexual abuse is everyone's problem, then everyone can also be part of the solution!

33 for 23: Yeah!

2009-04-17T10:43:00.006-06:00

Mike's got the April edition of The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse up over at his host blog, Child Abuse Survivor. This is Mike's second time hosting the carnival and he's really outdone himself this time. Thanks, Mike!

Yeeehaaa! We have 33 entry posts in this carnival edition! I think that sets a record for largest carnival edition yet. So, we have 33 for 23--or 33 posts for our 23rd edition--hence the name of this post's headline (ain't I clever?) Thanks to everyone who submitted articles to participate in this record-setting edition.

The theme that Mike set for this edition is Spring, rebirth and renewal. Five of the posts listed are specifically under this theme, I'm happy to see. I'm also excited to be reading 12 posts that came in under the Advocacy and Awareness category. That's timely, as April is officially Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month. What a great bunch of advocates and activists we are! I'm proud of our community!

Please go over to Mike's blog and take a look at these fine carnival posts. Use the links, read the articles and leave supportive comments, won't you? I'm heading back over there, now.

It's Blog Reader Appreciation Day!

2009-04-16T09:16:00.005-06:00

Did you know? Today is Blog Reader Appreciation Day! Hurray! I am finding out about all sorts of blogging "days" to celebrate, now that I'm involved with Bloggers Unite. I encourage you to join; it is uplifting.

The day was started one year ago by Robin Reagler who writes the blog The OTHER Mother. I've just started enjoying to get to know Robin through Bloggers Unite and Twitter.

On this day, I want to play a meme I got tagged with by Enola, who was so sweet to point attention to my post about Free The Slaves Day (also a Bloggers Unite event).

This meme is one of those that is actually an award--The I Love Ya Award. I love ya, too, Enola. And I hope you are healing quickly from your recent kidney stone operation. Ouch! Feel better!

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

So on this day--Blog Reader Appreciation Day--I not only want to thank ALL my readers, but I especially want to thank the following friends and supporters for leaving comments and hugs and just being the types of bloggy friends who always seem to be there for me:

I don't think Marcella at Abyss2Hope has a #1 aim of finding friends. But she is definitely not interested in self-aggrandizement--she's too busy making advocacy for rape and sexual assault survivors her big priority. But I just met Marcella IRL and so enjoyed it! I now consider her a bloggy friend AND and IRL friend!
I met Buffalopine through Twitter. She is such an inspiration! She is also very free with her kind words of support, especially through her thoughtful e-mails and Tweets. I'm glad I'm getting to know this new friend!
Check out Catatonic Kid's blog. She is a writer extraordinaire! I can hardly believe the lyrical quality of her writing sometimes. She's also an excellent human being. I can't remember who's blog I found her on, but she's another one I'm really enjoying getting to know better through blogging AND Twitter.
Not only is Mike, from Child Abuse Survivor, not self-aggrandizing, he is a true friend to survivors. He is hosting the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for the second time, tomorrow. He's also started the Child Abuse Survivor ning Network (see link below). He's a true friend that can always be counted upon.
Mile 191 at Come Into My Closet is on a little bloggy break right now. I can see why she needs the rest. She runs a "blog carnival" on her blog just about every week. I've never seen any blogger who is so tireless at their willingness to support and promote other blogs. If you like "linky love," check out her blog!
I'm glad I've gotten to know Grace, of Grace Uncensored, through The Child Abuse Survivor ning Network. She is also taking a bit of a bloggy break, but I get lots of supportive and friendly advice from her over at Polyvore, where we are part of an Adult Survivors group doing healing collage as art therapy.
Rainbow, over at Haunted House, is another new bloggy friend of mine. I really enjoyed getting to know her through her event: Child Abuse Awareness Day over at Bloggers Unite. She's supporting the event I'm plugging over there, too: The Run and Rally to Stop the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse.
Just Be Real started visiting my blog recently, then I started to see her over at the Child Abuse Survivor ning site. She often leaves comments on my blog that include the words "bless you" or "blessings." You know, she's the type of person who, when she offers these kinds words, really does make me feel blessed! Thanks, Just Be Real!
I'm only supposed to pick eight, and this blogger has already been tagged by this meme, but I just have to include Tamara at Desire to Heal. She was quite supportive and kind to me over at the CAS ning recently when I was really struggling with the Easter holiday. I love ya, Tamara!

Now, that is certainly not an exhaustive list of bloggy buddies I love and would love to give this award to, but I was supposed to be limited to eight. Some of you guys--my old friends, and you know who you are--would be on a permanent list of mine. But, I thought--here on Blog Reader Appreciation Day and all--that I would highlight some newer bloggy buddies who are truly becoming a blessing to me. Give them a visit, won't you?

Don't Miss the April Blog Carnival!

2009-04-13T09:24:00.003-06:00

Don't miss the April Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. You know, April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. We'll also be celebrating Spring and renewal as Mike hosts the carnival at his Child Abuse Survivor blog. Mike is a returning host and does an excellent job with the carnival.

As he says, "I’d like to focus this carnival on the theme of rebirth/renewal. Whether you choose to view that as the renewal of nature that comes from Springtime, through the religious point of view of Easter, or as simply as a chance for Spring cleaning, if you are thinking of renewal as a Survivor this Spring, please take the time to submit a blog post to this edition of the carnival." Sounds great, Mike!

So, get those submissions in now. You can use this submission form link here. Just be sure to scroll down on the page--it looks blank on the top. The deadline is midnight Wednesday, April 15. Let's do what we did last month: If you've already submitted an article to the carnival, just let me know with a comment here. That way, I won't be coming around and bugging you for your submission. Thanks! Our carnival will post on Friday, April 17. Hope to see you all there!

Oh, The Discomfort of Child Abuse!

2009-04-06T10:19:00.006-06:00

I'm really struggling with triggers revolving around Easter. Along with that there's some really deep grief I'm dealing with in and out of therapy.

But, I got tagged by Enola with a meme that I really want to play. And I just realized today that, not only is April Child Abuse Prevention Month (already knew that), but it is also National Poetry Month.

I've been doing some research and Internet searches, and I've decided that I'm going to commit several posts this month to Child Abuse Prevention Awareness. I hope to include a lot of educational and informative links here. I also committed over at Bloggers Unite to be involved this month through blogging.

So, I'm going to start off with a poem I just wrote, to commemorate both April events.

Discomfort

We're uncomfortable
with the abuse
of children.

Don't look,
don't ask;
maybe it will go away.

In how much discomfort
do you suppose
she was:
the little, unplanned premie
who fought her way
to five pounds
only to have
18
of her bones
broken
in her tiny body?

In our discomfort
and fear of taking stands,
no one spoke for her.

How long will you remain
comfortable
with your discomfort?

Copyright 2009, Marj McCabe ~ All Rights Reserved

Unwanted Child

2009-03-31T14:37:00.004-06:00

Playing around with collage at Polyvore. Thanks to Grace for turning me on to their site and computer-generated collage!

I chose this for my caption: Children are adorable, precious, innocent...and wanting to be wanted.

Unwanted Child - by Marj aka Thriver on Polyvore.com

Free The Slaves!

2009-03-27T12:18:00.006-06:00

Today is International Free The Slaves Awareness day.

I was definitely a sex slave to my father. If I did not perform one of my "job duties" to his satisfaction, punishment (torture) was swift, cruel and inhumane.

Even before I retrieved the repressed memories of my childhood sexual abuse, I always remembered the verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, etc. I have always felt like my birth guaranteed my parents free slave labor.

With my mother, it was free domestic labor. My sister and I would stand on chairs, as we had the sole responsibility of the family dish washing starting at age seven. We were not yet old enough to reach the kitchen sink. I got so good at scouring toilets, scrubbing bathtubs and mopping floors, that by age 11 I decided to farm out my cleaning skills to the neighbors and I actually got paid for it.

After my parents divorced, the duties I was expected to perform for my mother increased. Her two favorites were forcing me to give her foot massages and rubbing her head when she had a headache (which was daily).

You may call these childhood memories "incest," "parentification," "not age-appropriate" or simply, "chores."

What these memories feel like to me--then and now--adds up to pure slavery. I had no freedom. I had no choice. I had no means of escape.

It seems to me that, when we think of slavery on a large scale, we think of The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. We think of Africans being shipped across the ocean, sold, forced to do menial labor, beaten, whipped and treated as less than human--treated as animals, or even below animals. Many of us in the US think of Abraham Lincoln, The Civil War, and The Emancipation Proclamation of 1862.

We think it's over.

Indeed, slavery is illegal world-wide. But, it's far from over. In fact, as the United Nations recognized its International Day of Remembrance of The Victims of Slavery on Wednesday, March 25, it reminded us that some 100 milli0n Africans were forced into slavery in the 200 years of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade.

Today, FTS--Free The Slaves--estimates that 27 million people are enslaved at the present time.

Folks, that's Right Now!

Have you heard this statistic about modern-day slavery? Think you heard wrong? Well, have you heard any of these terms: child labor, exploitation, trafficking, sexual slavery, child soldiers? These are all forms of modern-day slavery. If you go to the Unicef website, at www.unicef.org, you will find a whopping 22 pages of related articles on modern-day slavery, sprinkled with the terms I've mentioned above.

Since many of us haven't thought of slavery since our US history classes in school, let's do a refresher on the definition of slavery. FTS defines slaves as being "forced to work without pay under threat of violence and unable to walk away." Think this is something that only happens on some remote island, far, far away? FTS provides a glogal map of modern slavery occurrence. There, the US is highlighted prominently, along with China, Russia, India and South American and African countries. Each country/region gets categorized as "slave labour used both internally and exported" or "receiver of slave labour and products."

Here are some statistics you may not know, from the FTS "Top 10 Facts About Modern Slavery:"

At least 14,500 slaves are trafifcked into the United States each year
Slaves work in fields, mines, brothels, restaurants...even homes
Slave owners use many words to avoid the term slavery, such as "debt bondage," and "bonded labor"
Around the world, the average cost to turn a human into a slave is only $90

The majority of slaves today can be found in India and in African countries. Below is a video you can watch about Francis Bok. He is a Sudanese Dinka, now living in the United States, who was enslaved from age seven until 17. He tells his story in his own words about the maltreatment and cruelty he endured for ten years. You can purchase Bok's book, Escape from Slavery, at Amazon here.

FTS believes that we could totally end slavery within 25 years. But we must educate ourselves about the problem. We must raise awareness. Below, I've listed a couple more sites that you can visit to educate yourself about modern-day slavery and raise your own awareness. If you want to help us raise awareness in the blogosphere, go to Bloggers Unite.

While FTS is a movement/charity in the US, Anti-Slavery is international
Justice Sunday is this Sunday, March 29. Get details at UUSC, The Unitarian Universalist Service Committee

Spring Break

2009-03-20T16:16:00.002-06:00

I'll be gone for about five days during my son's Spring Break. Instead of some sandy beach, we're going to Minnesota to visit some friends. While I'm there I'm going to get to have lunch with Marcella Chester. Because I donated a little bit of cash to help her get to the 2009 Women Action and Media (WAM) conference, she's going to give me a copy of her book and maybe we'll talk some about blogging, raising awareness, etc. Marcella is the founder of The Blog Carnival Against Sexual Violence and runs the blog, Abyss2Hope. She's really the person responsible for getting me into blog carnivals in the first place and motivated me to found The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. I guess you could call her a blogging mentor for me. I'm excited to meet her!