Treasured Heart

Pascha

2008-05-11T15:41:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe that I went the whole of Lent without posting! Lent was amazing. I kept the fast for the most part which is nothing less than the grace of God. I loved the focus that Lent provided my ADD brain and not just for myself but for the whole church. Its wonderful to know that everyone else is struggling and praying and working toward the same thing you are. I tried to go to at least one weekday service each week during Lent and that helped a lot. And by the end of Lent I was noticing that my joints/fibromyalgia hurt much less too. After Pascha and the return to "normal" food I have discovered that I am allergic (or at least sensitive to) dairy products. Enough so that I am going to continue fasting from them just because I feel terrible when I eat them now.

Pascha was incredible. Daughter #2 went with me which was great. What a party! I've never been a part of such a celebration before!

Today is the Sunday of the Myrhh Bearing Women and is the liturgical anniversary of my first Divine Liturgy. I was remembering today how lost and overwhelmed I felt at first. So much has changed. I no longer feel lost but cradled.

Lent Approaches

2008-03-03T18:14:00.000-08:00

Its been awhile since I posted. Bad blogger. No real reason for not posting other than life.
Lent is fast approaching ("fast" approaching, get it? ha ha) ...my first Lent as an Orthodox Christian. I want to make this time as spiritually fruitful as I can so I will be trying hard to observe the fast and increase my prayer and Bible reading. I will be writing about my efforts during the next few weeks. The fast will be particularly challenging for me so I plan to write out a menu each week and will post it here. There will likely be a lot of fast-related posts not because I think the fast is more important than the other Lenten observances but because I want to grow in this area and the whole subject of food is difficult for me.
Ready or not, here I go......

Thy Nativity O Christ Our God

2008-01-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

Ice Ice Baby

2007-12-14T13:42:00.000-08:00

This past week Oklahoma has been devastated by an ice storm that has caused a power outage covering most of the state. In my small town, the power went out about 5:00am last Sunday morning. Many states have sent utility crews to our rescue, God bless them, but currently there are still around 300,000 homes without electricity, including mine. I'll post more when I can get internet access but here is a picture of my garage.

Hundred Dollar Holiday

2007-12-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

Just finished this little book. Its been around awhile but has some good explanations as to how our society's Christmas observance has evolved into the commercial chaos it is today. The author suggests that we limit our financial involvement to $100. Not a bad goal.

An excerpt:

"The Christmas we now celebrate grew up at a time when Americans were mostly poor, mostly lived with extended families, mostly worked with their hands and backs......But more and more that old Christmas finally feels played out. We’ve changed too much, and if we feel harassed by Christmas, that’s why. Its not that Christmas has changed, it’s that we have. We’re like fifty-year-olds going to Daytona Beach for spring break. Maybe we can remember why it seemed fun once, but frankly we’d rather sleep at night."

That's probably the best explanation I've ever heard!

The author goes on to ask.....

"Whose birthday is it anyway? Good question..... We know how to behave at birthday parties; We know someone else is the center of attention, and that the pleasure comes from putting the spotlight on them. And yes, you get to eat cake, too, and ice cream, and maybe there’s a little bag of treats to take hom. But you’re celcbrating someone else. That’s what the fun is all about."

Christmas Past

2007-11-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

This picture was probably taken in 1959. The handsome young man in the middle is my father.
The little girl on the right is me, age 3 years. The little girl on the left is Susan (Susie to me) Ferrell. Our dad's had taken us to a downtown Oklahoma City department store to see the Christmas displays. Susie was a year younger than me so she was around 2. Our parents were good friends back to their pre-child days and my sisters and I spent a lot of time with Susie and her sister Cindy who came along a couple of years later.

Fast forward a few years and this is Susie all grown up

Wasn't she beautiful? And smart too....she became a lawyer and worked for the federal government. I named my favorite stuffed animal "Susie Teddy" after her. She liked Ringo, I liked Paul. When she heard that my mother had given birth to TWO babies (my sisters are twins) she wanted to know if she could have one of them. She loved cats and dancing and was so fun to be around.

She died in the Oklahoma City bombing.

And I hate that the tragic way she died threatens to eclipse all the things about her that were so wonderful. Its just wrong.

So Susie, you have not been forgotten. Who you are and what you lived for lives on in the memories of all of us who loved you. Your life defines you not your death.

May your memory be eternal.

My First Prosphora

2007-11-16T19:19:00.000-08:00

This Sunday I will be offering the Holy Bread in honor of my daughter Rachel and in memory of my mother Virginia both of whom were born on Nov. 17.

This is my first solo attempt at baking the bread. Our priest's wife Khouria Claudia, gave a group of us, mostly converts, a workshop in bread baking a few weeks ago. I made a practice batch last weekend and it was awful! A woman at my church had also loaned me a DVD on holy bread making which I watched this morning to refresh my memory. I think this batch was much better. I could at least see the seals this time! (just not very well in this picture!)

Quote of the Week

2007-10-18T19:16:00.001-07:00

Last weekend's activities included a marching contest for my youngest. They came in 5th by the way. The contest was in my hometown where my father still lives so daughter and I took the opportunity to spend the night with him. Sunday morning after he showed me his highschool scrapbook (which I had never seen.... he graduated in 1945) we had the following conversation:

Me: Do you think life was better back then? Or is now better?
Dad: Well, now there aren't any quarantine signs on my friend's front doors.

Good point. We might have AIDS but we DON'T have polio, whopping cough, scarlet fever and a host of other diseases that killed children on a regular basis. Given my druthers, I think I'll take my chances with modern medicine.

Fasting Food

2007-10-18T18:59:00.001-07:00

In anticipation of the Nativity fast, I ordered this cookbook. I think its going to be very helpful. In the same order I also got a prosphora seal. Our priest's wife gave some of us new converts a holy breadmaking class. (yeah, yeah Dad...it was the bread that was holy NOT the class!) The bread we made was used the next day in Divine Liturgy which was very cool. I want to make a "practice" batch at home though before I sign up for "real".
I also realized today that Thanksgiving falls during the Nativity fast which means no turkey :( I don't know why this hadn't occured to me before now but there it is.

In other news....I finally got my invite to Ravelry, a very cool new site for knitters and other yarn-y types. You can see what everyone else is working on, catalog your yarn and knitting books and lots of other fun stuff. My screen name is AuntMartha if you ever want to look me up there.

We are not alone

2007-10-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

One of the first things I noticed about Orthodoxy was the feeling of being surrounded and supported. This feeling has intensified since my chrismation so much so that I find myself pitying other Christians who don't have it, my past self included. The tragedy of sola fide and sola scriptura is the "sola" part. Sola means alone. It leads to this "just me and God" mentality. The idea that all one needs is Scripture or "asking Jesus into my heart" seems such a lonely proposition. From the Orthodox perspective healing and salvation occur in the context of the Church. And what is the Church but relationships! Relationships with each other and with God and with the faithful souls who have gone before us.

One of the things I learned through several years of therapy, is that it is in our relationships that we are revealed to ourselves. When I'm alone I tend to think I'm pretty great but when other people are added to the equation, I begin to see how selfish I am and how far I have to go. In healthy relationships where forgiveness and mercy exist, healing then occurs.

I saw a bumper sticker this evening that reminded me of this truth. It was in the shape of a band-aid with the words "God can fix it". In many Protestant evangelical circles, translated, this means God will fix my problem and all that is necessary is for me to believe and ask. No others need to be involved. As a result so many good Christians are alone and isolated and barely hanging onto their faith. God created us to be in relationship. At Adam's creation He said, "it is not good for man to be alone". Through Christ he gave us a relationship with Himself and from that a relationship with his Church. Now and ever and unto ages of ages.

Bad Blogger, No Cookie

2007-10-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

I’m a bad, bad blogger. Long time, no blog. It was very gratifying however to find that somebody noticed! Things have been hectic this month both at work and at home. Football season is in full swing. (Here in Oklahoma football is practically a religion with services held on Friday nights...highschool or Saturday....college.) I no longer have sons playing football but my youngest daughter is in her high school band and that involves every game (away and home) plus marching contests plus mom working in the concession stand with the other band parents. Work has been very busy too. Yesterday we had our yearly system-wide training day (25 libraries in all) and I was on the planning committee. Thank goodness that’s over with for another year!

Saturday was my 51st birthday….go me. I have discovered a side benefit of having a future daughter-in-law. I now get presents from that son! Did I blog about his engagement? I can’t remember. Yes, my number 2 son (a.k.a.Stock Broker Son) will be getting married in June. His fiancée is a lovely girl and we are thrilled for them.

So there we are. I promise I will blog more soon about my chrismation. It continues to be amazing

Seal!

2007-09-09T06:43:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was received into Holy Orthodoxy by chrismation. My heart is full of such humble gratitude for this gift. I will write more later but I just wanted to say "thank you" to all of you who have helped me on this journey.

Chrismation Date

2007-08-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

At last! The date of my chrismation will be Sept. 8 on the Feast of the Nativity of the Theotokos!

Orthodox Moment

2007-08-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

So, I attended a parent's meeting at church last night. Towards the end of the meeting Father introduced me to the group and I was asked about my family.....

Me: "I have a fifteen year old daughter who thinks I've gone off the deep end with this Orthodoxy stuff"
Other parents (in chorus): "You have!"

Blessed Are Those Who Hunger

2007-07-30T06:57:00.000-07:00

There is a wonderful short article in the Aug. 2007 issue of Christianity Today (sorry, couldn't find it online yet) that fits in very nicely with the Orthodox practice of fasting.

Eat, Drink and Be Hungry by John Koessler
"Blessed are those who hunger? Hunger and thirst signal need.....How can they be a source of blessing?.....Why not, 'Blessed are the righteous?'. Hunger implies a lack of righteousness. Jesus proposal is so radical, it turns our notions of God and righteousness and blessing on their heads. He blesses what most of us would curse.
According to Jesus, when we draw near to the kingdom, it is better to come empty than full. We are tempted to think that righteousness is the condition we must be in to be blessed. Jesus says the opposite. Righteousness is the blessing; hunger is the precondition.
......Righteousness is not our natural food. As a result, we are being consumed by our appetites. Like our first parents....in the Garden of Eden.....we too long for what seems good, pleasing and desirable, but which will destroy us in the end.....So God takes steps to help us get over our taste for food that cannot satisfy. To our discomfort, the main tool He uses is hunger.

Why is blessedness associated with hunger? Because those who bring their hunger to Christ will be filled with his righteousness. Thus, righteousness must be a gift before it can become a practice. The promise of righteousness is offered to those who are empty. It belongs to those who are aware of their lack.

Righteousness works from the inside out. We usually go about it the other way around; we try to work on it from the outside in, as if it were a matter of externals. If we worship in the right building, perform the right rituals.....we are righteous. If we read our Bibles and pray in the morning, give a tithe....we are righteous.....If we are to have righteousness as Jesus defines it, we must receive it like beggars, letting it transform us from the inside."

Try to get hold of a copy. It's worth the price of the magazine.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming....

2007-07-24T18:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, long time, no post. Apparently, the car crash knocked out all my blog inspiration as well as the car's rear end. The last couple of weeks have been crazy. Work has been VERY busy, there's been thrice weekly chiropractor visits, dealing with insurance and rental cars ad nauseum. You get the picture. Last Friday was fun though.....both daughters and I helped out at a Harry Potter party. Face painters r us. We made it till 11pm at which point we gave up and went home. I had already pre-ordered from Amazon anyway. I had to work Saturday but I managed to read a couple of chapters of Deathly Hallows in a reserved copy that hadn't been picked up yet. My book arrived at my house while I was at work. I finished it late Sunday night. For those of you that care, its a big thumbs up. Still not my favorite HP book but its nice to get all the questions answered. I have more to say about it but that will have to be the topic of a later post.

This is just weird

2007-07-12T19:10:00.001-07:00

This is what the rental company (courtesy of Pepsico's insurance) gave me to drive while my car is out of commission. Yes they actually gave me this big ole, redneck, 4 wheel drive, extended cab monstrosity. I realize that in Oklahoma these vehicles are practically issued to you with your driver's license but I have been fortunate enough to have lived a sheltered life and have never before driven one. And as further proof that I am living in a version of Hooterville, when I got home yesterday I found that the power was off to most of the town including the police station, the library and my house. The reason? A squirrel got into a transformer. Lovely. Apparently for a few hours, the squirrel won. Still not convinced? Okay, here's another one: a few nights ago there was fire in an empty house a few blocks from us. The only reason the fire was discovered was that the firemen smelled smoke and drove around town till they found the fire. Now that's a small town! However, even with all its quirks, this town has been good to us so I'm not complaining. Laughing maybe, but not complaining.

Life's little surprises

2007-07-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

Guess what happened to me yesterday?

I was rear-ended by a Pepsi truck of all things. Its hard to see under the Visqueen but the impact shattered the rear window completely and also did a number on the rear door and fenders. Thankfully I got off with only a case of whiplash and none of my kids were with me. My darling husband dropped everything at a work and rushed to the scene of the crash to lend his support. And hey, its only a car after all.

Chrismation!

2007-07-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

Happy news! Father says that I will be chrismated sometime this fall!
How thankful I am for the gift of Orthodoxy. Last Sunday at Divine Liturgy, as I looked at the icons surrounding me and the people worshiping with me, I felt a peace that I barely have words to describe. It was like being wrapped in soft blanket. I was not alone, I was supported by a community that transcends time and place. Utterly safe. Completely loved. I know feelings are by nature, transitory. I know there have been times in my life when God felt very distant and that most likely I will have times like that again. But I also know in my heart of hearts that this is more "real" than any other reality I have ever experienced.

2007-07-05T18:46:00.000-07:00

From Father Stephen's blog today:

In Lewis’ That Hideous Strength, his character, Mark Studdock, is pictured being tempted to lose his soul through a long string of seemingly inane choices (engineered by the infernal regions), no one of which in itself seems all that bad.
Our hearts are formed and shaped in a very small crucible. The large decisions frequently come as the fruit of many much smaller. A decision to act and live with integrity, for instance, will yield many smaller results, even surprising results.

This really rang true for me especially in two areas of my life that I am trying to change.....money and eating habits. Its so easy to convince ourselves that the the little bad choices...eating a candy bar, buying yet another skein of yarn...really aren't destructive. But they are and the cumulative weight of them inexorably pulls you down.

Lost & Found

2007-06-30T19:05:00.001-07:00

One of the many charms of living in my particular small town is that given enough rain (and believe me we have had enough!) the two main roads into town become impassable. When we moved here last year the state was in a major drought, so this is the first year we have had to deal with the legendary flooding of Bird Creek. There is a "back" route into town, but every time I asked someone for directions, I was told, "oh just follow the other cars". After three floodings this spring, I've figured it out. I worked today and coming home this evening I was forced to use the back road in. As I got into town, out of the corner of my eye, I saw this wandering around in the middle of the street I just crossed.

Now, I have a yellow Lab who has been known to chew his way out of our fence so I immediately turned around and went to investigate. It was a yellow Lab all right, just not my yellow Lab. He was friendly enough, but he was limping and was clearly injured. I managed to get him in my car and brought him home, fed him and put him in a crate we have in garage. At least he'll be safe until I can either get him to a vet or to Lab Rescue.

Fruit of my labors...

2007-06-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

This is half of the ELEVEN pounds of blackberries I picked yesterday. I couldn't find the canner so I froze them (got 7 quart-size freezer bags out of them) except for the ones currently in my oven in a cobbler.
I always think of my grandmother when I make blackberry cobbler.

In other news, my cat Tasha apparently missed the memo that this is a BIRD-bath!

Busy Day

2007-06-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

I know I'll pay for all this tomorrow with sore muscles and joints but oh well....
I started out today at a local u-pick blackberry patch. It rained early this morning and was overcast and cool, perfect weather for picking and I had the patch practically to myself. I picked two buckets full which turned out to be eleven pounds of blackberries!
Then this afternoon I went the wedding of a friend's daughter in this beautiful Catholic church. Since these pictures were taken some beautiful gardens have been added. It's quite the place. I didn't expect to have time afterward to get to catechism 20 miles away but I did. I stayed for Vespers and afterwards my older DD and I went out to eat and visit a bookstore. I don't get to spend much time with her now that she's in college and living at her dad's, so its always fun to hang out with her.

Tomorrow will be Divine Liturgy followed by blackberry canning. At this rate, work on Monday will be down-right restful!

Update to update

2007-06-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Elizabeth at The Garden Window, here is Paul's final winning performance. She has all three of his performances over on her blog.

Update

2007-06-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

If you watched the video below, I just checked the website and Paul Potts won! Sometimes nice guys DO finish first.