YATGB (yet another t-girl blog)

"He's born to shimmer, he's born to shine..."

2009-07-10T21:24:00.002+01:00

Hey all,

How's things with you? [insert lengthy pause here] Hmmm... Plenty going on in my head right now, but I've not yet got my brain around how to type it all up. I guess writing an entry once a week, pretty much every week means there will be some repetition and it's that that makes me stall. It's break the flow out of my head and out to the keyboard.

Thursday I was off to Chams (sorry, Nottingham Chameleons) for a bit of social. It was a lovely sunny evening and part of me wondered about setting the tables and chairs outside. Still, it was early on and in the UK, you never really know what the weather's going to do. Job done, I nipped upstairs to I get changed (I remembered my camera and to charge the batteries!): long summer top, leggings and wedges. It was those or the gladiators, but I think I'll be needing flats for the party next time. The flash isn't quite right and I think my camera is on it's last legs. Still, it's been faithful and perhaps it's time for retirement... and a damned good wipe program for the memory card too. :-)

Anyhoo, the evening was quiet. There was around half a dozen or so of us there: Tracey, Sandy, Yvonne, myself and a new lady called Andy. To be accurate three others turned up but disappeared outside for a chat for most of the evening. Andy turned up around 10ish and it was her first time to the group. She was - and quite understandably so - rather nervous. I suppose when you go to a group for so long or you go out as much as some of us do, it becomes second nature.

Sparkle

Talking of going out, part of the reason why it may have been so quiet is that it's Sparkle up in Manchester. I've not made the effort to go, mainly due to a lack of organisation on my part and family commitments. Part of me would be interested in going just so I can make up my own mind.

There's been praise, scorn and satire of the event. I wonder which of the three are closest to the truth? The cynic in me says satire, but I'd like that not to be the case. :-) I wonder if my lack of drive to go is that I'm lucky enough to get out regularly (from a tranny point of view). Last year I went to Harmony and I didn't really click with the event. The company, food and disco was very good, but it felt a little stayed in places. Perhaps I should have headed to the bar when the beauty contest started. Mmmm... beer :-)

Some people on-line and in real life (Ed: IRL?) have been saying that the next generation of trannys are making the most of the more accepting attitudes in society. I've heard it said that they don't need the support groups or organised events that the current wave do. As the old guard (Beaumont et al) don't seem to be relevant anymore (Ed: Don't sit on the fence, Lynn!) so perhaps the organised events, socials or support groups could one day go.

But... I don't buy that. Maybe some folk are happy to get on with it, but I think as long as we - we trannys have hang ups over who we are - so we'll have support groups in out of the way places to help people come to terms with who they are. It's not all bad news, but hey, it takes a while for that message to get through.

So, whatever you're up to this week: stay safe and enjoy. That's an order, private! :-)
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Shimmer by Shawn Mullins ]

"And it's 95 degrees in the shade..."

2009-07-03T19:37:00.002+01:00

Hi,

I can't put it any other way other than: blimey, it's hot. I suppose I could say Scorchio, but that's an old Brit TV gag :-) Mind you, there's always Google and YouTube.

I tell you what, I was glad I was at work this week... at least some of it has air con! I don't mind a bit of sun, but regular days of 30C (Ed: not the bra size) just do me in and I bet the kids wouldn't have liked being couped up in the car nor being daubed with sunscreen until they looked like they'd been rolled in evaporating goose fat.

I suppose for those of you from hotter places will be scoffing at my inability to take temps beyond 28c. Dammit, Jim, I'm a Englishman, not a jungle explorer! ;-) If it's much warmer were you are, please let me know. It may even give me some perspective!

The office has been hot and many folks - well, gents to be precise - have forsaken the shirt and tie. Shorts are now on the cards and I've given up on long trousers until the temperature drops to a more typical British mid 20s.

Strappy vests seem to be the order of the day for the ladies at work. While part of me - the tranny part I guess - has a slight twinge of jealousy over women's seemingly endlessly more varied wardrobe. V cute shorts and gladiators for one, but not with my hairy pins. ;-) At the same time, I'd kinda glad I don't have to worry about what the fashion mags pump out at this time of year. Bikini diets, fan tans, the war on body hair, etc.

I've read in a few places that if Climate Change was going to occur, we can look forward - not quite the words I'd have used - to seeing British summers very much like the shake and bake of 2003. While I like the blue skies, I'm not keen on the temperatures. That said, part of me wonders how the work clothing would adapt for men. I notice that many delivery drivers and postmen / postladies....

actually, that sounds a bit TS doesn't it? :-P

... now wear shorts. Will we see the equivalent of City Shorts for men? Mind you, a few companies have been trying hard to flog tights for men, so as markets shrink, I suppose it's only natural.

Here's to a cooler weekend!

Take care
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Girls Aloud with Long Hot Summer ]

"Who put the glad in gladiator?"

2009-06-26T20:44:00.006+01:00

Hey good people!

How's things? It's been a while hasn't it? Two lovely weeks away from the general routine! Top stuff indeed. The kids loved it and it was great to spend time altogether as a family and have some fun without having to watch the clock. Weekends and evenings go by so quickly.

I dunno about the rest of you out there in the blogosphere (tranesphere?), but I like to have a think about what I'm going to write about (Ed: it doesn't show. That or you should try harder). Anyways, Monday / Tuesday, not a lot was going on. I mean, there's only so much I can tell you about the week off and much as I share a lot with you folks, my family stuff remains on the QT.

So, I pondered what would I be writing about? Then lots of things happened in a short space of time.

Good afternoon, Mr Bond

Just before holiday a blogger friend J, he of Diary of the Man from Venus fame, dropped me an email saying that he was around Nottinghamshire and did we want to meet up for a spot of lunch? I must confess, my first thoughts where 'which pub should we go to?' but then I thought I did need to be sober for the rest of the work day... so that was off the cards. :-)

So having made our arrangement via email, I parked up and met up with J at our top secret rendezvous (a local library). Never let it be said that we trannys aren't an educated bunch. :-) BTW, just in case you're setting the scene up in your head, we were both in male mode. J looking very smart and me? Well, it was too hot for the old shirt and tie, so I looked a right old scruff bag, but hey, I save my best gear for Chameleons :-) After the hearty handshakes and big grins, we stopped by a shop to grab some sarnies. Wandering off we found a bench to sit and enjoy the sun and chat merrily for quite some time. J - if you're reading this - I had a good laugh and certainly overdid my lunch hour. Still, never mind eh?

Shopped

Having saved up a few pennies and as the sun was shining so gloriously, I decided on a spot of shopping earlier in the week. Nothing to do with having a 2 hour gap between meetings in town though eh? :-) I got a fab - well, I like them - pair of wide legged white trousers from New Look. I also got some killer heels - well wedges actually - at a bargain price of a tenner. I wasn't sure about them, but hey, I could always bring them home.

I still wasn't sure about the wedges - clearly not the same league as Sam's killer heels - but then quite a price difference :-) My, these bad boys where high: an inch platform and then... well, I don't know about the heel height, my ruler wasn't long enough :-) They'll have to go back as while they look totally transtastic, door frames are now a problem :-D

Instead I managed to find some very cute gladiator sandals. Just a little wedge heel on them to stop them being dead flat and lots of buckles and the design du temp (if that phrase works) of the strip of jewelled /beaded leather up the foot to the ankle strap.

Big Night Out

After meeting up with J, I was off to another meeting and then home to pick up the kids and sort out my Thursday night outfit. I borrowed Helen's fabby red crinkle vest which a few people asked about on the night (Joe Browns if you're interested and yes they do do a good size!). That was teamed with the gladiators and white trousers. With a bit of funky purple nail polish on my fingers and toes, I felt very summery. Sadly my camera batteries were flat when I tried to get a shot done. Oh well, the fun will just have to live on in my head. :-)

As the weather had been so warm, I'd been half in the holiday mood and not really bothered to shave. Come Thursday night, face and chest were suitably defuzzed and it had been over a month since I'd worn any make-up. In some ways, it was a bit like coming to it anew. Okay, I'd like to think I know a little about what I'm doing these days, but still, the gap between now and last time was enough to make me pay attention to the slow change from male mode to trans. LOL. Maybe one day I'll do a video! :-)

We had a few new folk come along during the evening: Alison and her partner and another (t)lady and a friend too. I'd got the wrong end of the stick about party night and I'd run off a CD of 60s tunes: Brit stuff and Motown ready.... only to find that's next month. Still, the music was given a test run while Tracy ransacked her stash of tranny photos from yesteryear.

Come the end of the evening, I'd caught up with friends and had a really good time. Of course, the time went quickly and it was soon time to change back. All in all though, a very good week! I hope the week's been kind to you.

TTFN
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Zero to Hero from Disney's Hercules. Man, quoting kid's films now. Maybe some Lady Ga Ga next week :-) ]

"So I say hello and I try to be nice, But I see he's feeling itchy"

2009-06-05T20:55:00.003+01:00

Hey y'all,

Blimey, it's been warm this week. Shirts and shorts.... and for the men, something similar :0)

The warm weather must be making the sap rise 'cos I've had a bit of dodgy comment spam and we had a very iffy email to the Chameleons inbox. Now, I should point out that any tranny who emails the group, their comments are kept private. Most of the emails are people asking when and where the meeting is, asking for help about getting there or sometimes offers from companies (more on that later). One of the admins replies; y'know a bit of encouragement, directions or what-not and that's that.

Anyhoo, we've been pretty lucky in regards to keeping the *ahem* admirers away. Chams is a place for trannys to meet up, have a chat and relax. It's not somewhere to hook-up. >:-( An appropriately terse email has been sent back to the person in question. On a coincidental note, I've read two somewhat similar tales on two other tranny blogs (Jenny's and Justine's). Basically, how some people assume that if you're dressed like a lady (or girl for you young minxes out there), that you'd be interested in men. Errrk, wrong answer Hans! :-) Sorry, thanks, but no. En Oh. No. Not interested. Happily married thank you. Just move along.

Anyway, on a slightly nicer note, Evans dropped the group an email. One part was to tell us about the new fashion stylist service they're starting up (and we're welcome to pop along). Talk about tranny friendly eh? Then, on top of that, the offer of a late night shopping lock-in where we can shop-shop-shop to our little heart's content during a tranny only evening. Sounds cool eh? The clothes may not fit yours truly, but the shoes sure will :-) I've put a message on the forum and we'll see how it goes.

Finally, this is me done for a bit. Don't worry - or breathe a sigh of relief - I'm not giving up just yet, but it is time for the Jones Massive to drift off on holiday. Man, I can't wait!

Take care,
Lynn

[ Today's lyric: Ladykiller by Lush. ]

"Y'all dont know what its like, Being male, middle class and white.."

2009-05-25T21:08:00.012+01:00

Hiya,

This week has been.... somewhat odd: a mix of highs and lows. The slightly ironic title will make more sense as you read on. Well, assuming you wanna read on. :-)

The start of the week - or the end of the last one if you will - was truly top. Good company, a trip to the park with the nippers and a blue sky of early summer. A sky so blue and perfect that it seemed to fit in my childhood memories of summers passed.

Tuesday I felt the familiar creeping of the black dog; that fug of disinterest that cloaks you... (Ed: your ability to bullsh*t seem to be okay tho)... and I put it down to just tiredness. However, by the end of Wednesday, it was back. Seemed the sound of heels and the swish of skirts reminded me how far away my own appointment with glamour was. Not a good time really. :-\

I get this from time to time and it annoys the sh** out of me. It seems I have no energy. I just want to sit and let the world go by. Become a silent passenger in it all. But, I know as a parent or a worker, that's not an option and based on previous episodes, it's counterproductive. Staying busy can be the key.

So, I forced myself to go for a long walk - one of the joys of a company with sites dotted around the city. Getting out into the sunshine helped, but I still wonder what's bringing the loom of darkness to my door? I hope it's just work and not another episode of being a mardy b*stard. :-) That or not enough dressing? But how can that be? Aren't tranny genes set to sleep around summer time? I think the latter is a survival mechanism: I mean, high summer with all that padding and a wig? You could combust :-)

Anyways... shoveling through the pile of emotional dung, I did experience two wee gems of good fortune this week. I came out to an on-line friend (non-trans) earlier in the week. She took it well; I mean - and no disrespect to the lass in question - do you ever really know? I guess it comes down to trust and I'm glad I made that step. We've had a chat about it and it's been a very postitive experience.

The other gem is that it was time for Nottingham Chameleons on Thursday. I've been checking up on the group's inbox (as Sandy & Tracey are away). That was good to do as it made me feel like I'm giving something back. I mean, ignoring my tedious white boy pain [irony] because realistically, I've got it good: a family, no strings attached dressing up, a steady job and my health.

Some of the emails you get are from folk who want to come along, but they're just so scared. I know some girls have rolled up in the car and - bless them - haven't been able to to open the door and make it into the venue. That first step is, I think, one of the hardest we have to make. I mean you're about to visit a place full of people you don't know and pretty much show the secret you've been hiding for so long. To come out to a partner, yes, that is one thing, but that's not always in 'frock & roll' mode is it? Here you're going to show your other face (and wardrobe), the whole tranny focused uncertaintity swings into action.

A night out at a social group, well, there you are for all the world to see - or so it would seem - and what must they make of you? Honestly - and if the group is worth it's salt - a friendly and knowing smile should be first. Get any tranny, even the most *ahem* talented of divas to show you their early photos and trust me, we all gotta start somewhere.

TTFN
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Rockin The Suburbs by Ben Folds ]

"Suckers, liars get me a shovel!"

2009-05-22T19:57:00.002+01:00

Hey y'all,

Today I'd nipped out of the office to grab a sarnie (sorry: sandwich) and while I was out and about, I dropped into Boots. Well, they do do nice meal deals and there's the make-up section. Food and fabness, what's not to like? :-)

So as I pottered about basket in hand I wandered through the shiny packages of nail varnishes and lippys available. One thing that struck me about the promotional posters though, was this: the amount of BS beauty product adverts seem to contain.

Is that a bit harsh? Let me explain. What I mean is, if you watch an advert for... say... mascara, the small print will zip along the bottom saying something along the lines of enhanced post production or filmed with lash inserts. Okay, so when I come to try that fabuloso-in-a-tube, I'm not going to be batting a thousand, more like a half baked baker's dozen?

Riiiight. So while I'm not naive enough to believe what I see in an advert, I would kinda like the product to have some standing in reality. I mean, how long before we see an advert of a flying car ("Announcing the new Ford Areo!") only to see the small print of real car only travels on roads and does not actually fly. :-)

Oh well, I guess you can't have it all? I suppose the other option would be to ask if we can have access to the same software the ad companies use? Never a dull day in ad-land!

Drama

Yesterday, the BBC ran a TV programme called Dress to Impress (more here). I must say a quick note of thanks to Alex for spotting this wee gem in the schedules. It's part of the Beeb's Moving On series of plays, or drama, if you prefer. I watched it 'cos it features a tranny character. Why? Partly to see how the programme deals with it and also because I am a tranny.

The actors & crew did a great job. Jack McMullen did well as the young lad of the piece. There's a bit at the start where his character, Daniel, takes a keen interest in the times when his parents will be back. God, that struck home and brought back a flood of lost memories....

The clunk of the front door as it shuts. A nosey through the blinds upstairs as the car pulls out of the drive. You pull open the cupboard and reach for the items you keep stashed. A grasp at momentary freedom: a few hours to be yourself. Perhaps, more accurately, to not be your everyday self, but the person you long to be....

That was so long ago - 20 years? - yet in my mind's eye I can see it all. It was the 80s too. Dotty blouses and killer heels. No wonder I can't watch Ashes to Ashes :-)

Maybe that's the power of good drama: to leave us affected by what went on. Maybe Joe Public will be looking at the relationship between the husband and wife. But, for a small chunk of us, our t-dar will be pinging as Daniel studies women's fashions. You know he's going to come out, so I'm not spoiling anything here. Just how it happens, maybe I'm soft, but it did wrench my heart.

I'll leave you to watch it on iPlayer and make up your own minds.

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Don't Believe the Hype by Public Enemy. ]

"Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time"

2009-05-15T19:18:00.001+01:00

Hi folks,

How's things? Looks like I put the mockers on the good weather by talking about summer fashion last time! :-) It's rained on and off for most of this week. However, the bright side to that is that it's not too hot to get dressed up, so some small mercies eh?

Last week the work canteen was alive with cute dresses and bright shades. Whereas this week, it almost looks like the womenfolk have returned to the winter wardrobes. Opaques, boots, dark trouser suits, etc. That said, I saw a lady in a very fetching linen business suit. She stood out against the sea of black that we all gravitate towards.

So what else has been going on? It was time for a trip to Nottingham Chameleons last night and it was great to see everyone again. It's funny, but the way the calendar falls, sometimes there's a 2 week gap between meetings and it's surprising how that longer gap - at least to me - makes you realise what regular socials mean.

It was also time for the group's annual general meeting. We're a bit... flexible... (Ed: no, not like that, you dirty minded so & sos) over the actual dates s of it :-) - but it's the thought that counts. As prices rise, so will the attendance fee: that's now up to 4 quid but I don't think that's bad. Fund-wise we're doing okay and the Bring & Buy sales that we do help keep us afloat and top up the funds for parties and other special events. Your truly volunteered to record the minutes, so an excuse for a more secretarial look :-)

There was much laughter and well meant banter during the proceedings - something that's clearly not reflected in what I wrote down. One of those occasions where you had to be there. Come the end of it, I felt a little miffed that it had all come to an end so soon.... or at least so it felt. Do I want more? I don't think so. I think I have the balance just about right for me and my family. But, as with any good night out, I think it's only natural to want to keep having a good time.

One of the group, Yvonne, is having some treatment at a local hospital (get well soon, chuck!) and having got talking to the nurses, she came out to them. Their curiosity piqued, Yvonne showed them the group's website - the one with the new photo by Debbie (good luck!)- and said, "there's a real girl on there. Which one is it?" Now, truth by told, there isn't but after a bit of umming and ahhing, the nurses pointed at my picture. So two things: firstly, Yvonne, cash or cheque love? :-)Secondly: the camera never lies (Ed: yeah, right! Dream on!)

Take care
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Don't Stop me Now by Queen ]

"When I grow up I'll be stable."

2009-05-08T19:39:00.003+01:00

Hey y'all.

Another week rolls by. Tear down a strip from the calendar and toss (Ed: fnarr) into the recycling bin of history. :)

Summer rolls ever closer. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to dress for the Arctic and the fact that the kids are not cooped up indoors is a good thing (as any parent will tell you).

The only downside with summer is... summer fashions. More flesh on show and hem lines are, of course, up again this season. Being summer, and it's almost t-shirt weather, the War On Hair is currently on hold. My eyebrows may be neat and my nails tapered, but you have to try and blend in a bit don't you?

So when the summer fashions come out, I look and wonder what'll work for yours truly. Long floaty top, pale leggings and wedges perhaps? The trusty white skinnies and a cute vest? Somethings to consider when work flags and I need some welcome distraction.

In other news, I read an article about 'if I knew then what I knew now..' - you know, one of those filler pieces magazines like to run every now and again. I did do a whole blog post on it... in the style of an email that had gone back in time to the 1989 me. :) But, it didn't really work, so you won't be seeing that just yet! :D

I've thought about this as I queued in traffic. I think I'd be tempted to say:

"Try not to worry too much. It'll be tough in places, but you'll get through it. Trust me when I say it'll all work out. Indeed, far better than you could imagine: a family, self-acceptance and good friends. Friends who know and who won't judge. Just hang on in there."

So bizarre time-travelling texts aside: if you could send a note to yourself, what advice (other than betting tips :-P ) would you send back? Or wouldn't you? Would you rather you go through the learning curve?

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Garbage's When I Grow Up ]

"Across the world the message flies, information, truth and lies..."

2009-05-01T19:53:00.002+01:00

Hi,

Do you Twitter or tweet or whatever it is? I've seen a few sites of fellow Bloggers who do. What about Facebook? Bebo? MySpace? Do you use those? I don't do the former - at least in Lynn mode - but I seem to have been hit (Ed: infected?) with their update meme. Allow me to explain... :-)

For those of you who don't know, Twitter et al let you upload a short phrase as an update status. Now maybe you have a far more glamourous or jet setting life than mine, and while I am a self opinionated blogger, I'm struggling to find enough to say to warrant a twitter feed. Some people do and they do it well, but not yours truly.

So - and here comes the questiony bit - why is it in my head I've had the following going on:

... is in a meeting but her mind is on this season's new looks.
... is dropping the kids off and man is it cold! Shoulda worn tights under the suit.
... wishes life was a little less complicated sometimes.
... is putting his trainers on and nearly put his back out in doing so.
... wonders why real ladies sometimes wear heels to go shopping in when (s)he knows how much it hurts.
... is pondering what to blog about.
... is hoping mowing the grass won't die her fingers green before a big night out.
... wonders what would happen if (s)he came out. Really out.
... just can't get excited over a new telephone.
... wishes size 14 meant size 14!
... is fed up with the War on Unwanted Hair.

All these fleeting thoughts have fluttered through my head, bubbled through a busy brain giving welcome distraction to the occasionally uninteresting world of queues, waiting and, of course, meetings.

I guess they are all just tiny distractions that in some way, help me get through a day where the entertainment factor is unusually low. Do you find yourself doing this? Not so much courting a feed as mental blogging what you're doing? Maybe I just need to get out more. :-)

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's Lyric: Zeros and Ones by Jesus Jones ]

"Too much, much, much, much, much music"

2009-04-24T20:32:00.002+01:00

Hey y'all

Another week flits by eh? Last Saturday was Record Store Day. A special event in the UK celebrating the diversity of music available at your local music shop... At least, one in the eyes of the indie retailers. It' not like we had flags and street parties. Hell, we didn't manage the latter on St George's Day (although I'm guessing we [Brits] did drink a lot :-D ). I must confess, the whole record shop thing passed me by in the rush that is the family weekend. Y'know - trips to the park, lunch, a shufti* around town and then home for a lark in the garden, tea and bed. After that, maybe a spot of blogging and a good cup of tea. :-)

[ * Ed: that's slang for 'look' for our non-English readers :-) ]

My relationship with music is somewhat complicated. It's something I enjoy and its effect on my mood is very positive. If I'm not feeling with it, the right tune - or perhaps more accurately, the right lyrics - can help me break out from under a dark cloud. There's nothing quite like singing your head off (not literally) in the car to a favourite song... at least I think so and it's the only place I will attempt to sing. I'm so out of key I can't even think of a witty way to describe it :-)

Just about every blog post has a lyric quoted from an artist. I started this because certain songs would catch in my head when I was thinking about particular subjects. The two would intertwine and I'd feel in someway the lyric was necessary. I find myself storing up lyrics wondering when I'll have a post that matches them. Part of me wonders if an artist would be upset by this, but then I think, is all advertising good advertising? I know I've seen links to video on YouTube and after listening, I go and buy that track.

Anyway, indie record shops....? In my youth I'd regularly make the trip into town to take a look in my favourite record shops. I'm glad to see that at least two them is still going strong. That's one of the great things about Nottingham, it has such a young population that "yoof culture" shops (and clubs) keep on ticking. No matter what 'tribe' you belong to, there's somewhere for you to top up your identity.

But you make time for the things you like and old pleasures ebb away. I still love music, but I don't make the time to go through the records or CD racks any more. Since the on-line retailers have (thankfully) dropped DRM from music downloads, I'm now buying more - perhaps more than when I was a teenager. Does this help the independent retailer? Probably not, but the stuff I'm buying now - mostly pop or chart indie-esq tunes - wouldn't be the stuff I'd get from them anyway. They lost me as a customer as my tastes altered once again.

That said, it's still fun to walk in to an alternative music shop in your work suit to pick up a couple of CDs.... if only to f*** with the stereotype.

A Visit from the Council

In other news, it was time for the Full Betty (to re-use a gag) as Chameleons was on once again (yay!). I was going to (cross)dress smart this week as we had a visit from the local Council. But in the end I opted for white jeans (so 80s! LOL), my stripey top and some wedges. Well, it is almost Summer isn't it?

Our two visitors wanted to talk about the Complains Procedure and get a some feedback for TG specific issues. Obviously, anonymity was a key point. As someone said - and on an unrelated note - some crimes don't get reported because the person doesn't want to out themselves. Sad, but true. BTW, I'm not saying the Police are failing us here, I'm just reporting how people feel about reporting crime (assault for example) and how the process might go. Interestingly, the Complaints Officer explained how you could make a complaint (or otherwise) to the Council (or Police) and remain anonymous. Useful to know!

There was also some talk about the group being quizzed over the TG community needs within Nottinghamshire. I don't think we can speak for everyone, but we can at least give some feedback to whoever's listening. Food for thought eh?

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Poison to the Mind by Pop Will Eat Itself ]

"Before I put on my makeup, I say a little prayer for you"

2009-04-17T20:03:00.002+01:00

Hi peeps,

I read about some new research that was quoted on Rose's Forum earlier in the week. The link takes you to a discussion about the findings and how some parts of it go against earlier research. I'll give you a brief sound bite (below) although that clearly doesn't do the full article justice:

"What this study does do, however, is add to the increasing evidence that there
are some detectable neurological differences in the brains of transgendered
people. We're just not in a position to say much about the significance of this
yet."

How does one define 'transgendered'? Hell, most of us TG folk can't agree on labels, I wonder how the scientific community managed? :-) Snippy comments aside, let us say - for sake of argument - that if it included everyone in the TG spectrum - I wonder what would come out of such a research project? If - a God knows how - we studied everyone from the the occasional dabblers to those who live full time (or near as damn it); would we find any commonality?

Does this prove that there's no such thing as 'alternative lifestyle' and that we are how we're made? Man, that sounds a loaded statement if you take it out of context. Oops. ;-) It's so easy to say the wrong thing these days! :-) What I mean is, are we who we are by biological lottery of chemistry? Certain hormones at certain times mean certain things, etc. It's going to be an interesting ride that's for sure.

In other - and significantly less scientific and earth-shattering, the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones and I had a day off today for a spot of shopping. Y'see, having a tranny husband isn't always bad news: we don't get bored while you try on shoes or the same dress three times. We know why you would rather wear trainers on a big shopping trip that cute pumps and the phrase 'too many shoes' is as alien to us as the off-side rule (Ed: sweeping generalisations ahoy!).

After lunch we stopped in a department store as Mrs J checked out the new slap that was on offer. She had a quick make-over (Ed: lucky lady!) and she looked very nice. Yes, of course I told her. :-) While she tried on a new foundation, she complained about it being too 'glowy'. So helpful husband and bloke mind thinking 'problem? provide solution!', I handed over a small compact of powder... in the right shade, of course. :-) The assistant gave a big smile and said: "Wow, you do know your way around make-up don't you?"* Mrs J kindly bit her lip, although I did notice a cheeky grin (one of the many things I love about her).

"I'm a new man," I replied hoping that would dodge the issue. "Shall we leave it at that?" Heh. Busted :-)

[ * Well, not really, but then compared to my non-TG mates, yes I guess so. ]

Mrs J was debating the cost while the assistant was looking for other products that may prove popular. I thought I'd treat her because a) she's worth it and b) because it's nice to have the little things that can help you feel good about yourself.

Right ladies? :-)

TTFN
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: I Say A Little Prayer For You by Aretha Franklin ]

"Call me old fashioned, But I'm a little nervous about the future"

2009-04-10T22:08:00.007+01:00

Hi,

Bit of a last minute post today. It being a bank holiday - yay! - we've been out and about letting the kids run of their energy and for the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones and I to top up the feel good batteries.

I don't know about your blogging process, but I try and store up ideas or even just things I'd like - or even may like - to talk about during the week. This week, though, well... 'meh' really :-) Monday through to Wednesday I just wasn't with it. It wasn't like there was anything physically wrong, I just couldn't - and to use a 90s phrase - "get my sh** together." :-) My heart just wasn't in it. I think it was a work thing. I've been feeling pretty disconnected of late. Just turning up and pretty much going through the motions.

I think most of us - although I could be wrong - would like to feel that we've done something at work. Something to make a difference, no matter how small, to someone else's day. A little help here or finishing something off to make the 37.5 hours you put in mean something.

Feeling out of it, I did what most trannys do: I went shopping. :-) I stopped off at a local out-of-town shopping centre and had an enjoyable lunchtime session of finding, trying on, rejecting and buying. I found some very nice sparkly red heels (in the sale), but if they're a size eight, I'm a natural brunette. :-P

Armed with a bag full of goodies, I headed over to the changing rooms. The lady looked in the bag, looked at me (typical casual bloke gear) and asked: "You want to try all of these on?" I 'uh-huhed' and smiled and without any more ado, I headed into the changing rooms to help make my mind up. The shoes were too small, the skirts not really what I wanted but the purple top was very nice (reduced too!).

It was a welcome break from the feeling of ploughing treacle I had in the morning. After lunch, everything seemed to pick up. A spot of shopping and knowing that I'd be at Chameleons on Thursday put the spring back into my step.

Talking of Chameleons (Ed: ooo, seamless link), it was a very interesting evening. We had a good turn out and also a visit from TransFixed. They're a TG friendly beauty salon who sell wigs and whatnot in Manchester. Anyways, and God bless 'em, they'd braved the pre-bank holiday motorway mayhem to come and see us.

The group also went through the finances and muggings here signed up to be a trustee. I mean, and not to be negative, but you don't really know what's around the corner. I've found the group a real haven and I've met some lovely people through it. It's not a big deal to put my personal details down on a bank sheet and just be available. Just in case :-) To be honest, it felt a little odd signing my real ID down sat in skinnys and knee boots. :-D

Today's lyric? Well, that came from something Tracey said while chatting to the ladies from TransFixed. They asked about the next generation. I think Sam and Angelina are our youngest visitors - everyone else is I think 30s plus. Tracey was saying that the next generation are just 'out there'. Enjoying the mainstream venues and just getting on with it. I can't comment as I'm not 'down with the kids'. I hope that's the case because it may mean that one day, groups like ours will be just social groups, not social and support groups.

I am a little nervous about the future, yes, but I am hopeful. Despite my cynical nature, I am an optimist at heart and I think things are changing for us. There will be bumps and slaps along the way, but one day we'll get there.

TTFN
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: The Glam Rock Cops by Carter USM ]

PS: I have a wee favour to ask of you all. Picture a gent in a white shirt and a cheeky grin (okay, not just a white shirt, that would be too revealing :-D ) and think positive thoughts. A good friend of mine needs a little luck sending his way.

"What the eye don't see won't break the heart"

2009-04-03T20:43:00.004+01:00

Hey y'all,

Once in a while, the all-seeing eye of The Media scans over our little subcultural havens. Sometimes folk are after a lighthearted look at we trannys - something for the coffee table magazines perhaps.

Anyhoo, earlier in the month a similar request dropped into my inbox. It was from a soon-to-be launched magazine - LGBT focused at that - and, unless I got the wrong end of the stick, was for students by students. A worthy cause in my humble opinion as it gives folk work experience on the real deal and from a TG point of view, if one person reads the article and gets some hope from it, then it can't be a bad thing right?

I exchanged an email or three on the subject and it was all going quite well. Then the bombshell: what about a picture of the happy couple?

Say what? :-)

Woah... Let's just back up a bit on that point. While my mug may be occasionally visible - albeit in low res - on this site, I'm not ready to be in a magazine. But moving away from the whole me-me-me vibe, it's a completely different thing for the ever lovely Mrs Jones. To start with, she's never seen me in Lynn mode, and frankly, I'm very happy to keep it that way. Also, I'm kinda in disguise. Okay, some days the disguise is better than other days but you get my drift :-) Mrs J doesn't get that luxury.

So my questions - 'cos you know there'll be more than one right? :-) - are these: Why the big deal on a photo? Is the story not enough on its own? Why is it when you say 'no' to a snap, interest vanishes like an election promise? :-)

I mean, I've read positive husband and wife articles in the past and they've been straight text. How does having a picture of a tranny + partner somehow make the story more valid?

Incidental, there seems to be a rising tide of blogs written by wives and girlfriends....

There's WaGs, so can there be PoTs? Partners of Trannys? :-D

.... which I think is excellent. The partners writing that is - not my weak pun :-) It's the voice we often don't get to hear. We know the stereotype of angry spouse - and who can blame them if we spring this surprise - but what about the partners who accept? At Chameleons we have lots of first time outs for us blokes, not so much in the wife department. Honestly, I take my hat off to any woman (or man) who'll stand by their boyfriend/husband when they reveal who they really are.

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: When you don't see me by The Sisters of Mercy ]

"And it feels like running with your eyes closed, If you forget what you're supposed to be."

2009-03-27T20:54:00.008Z

Hi,

This week I feel like I've been dragging my sorry ass through what seemed like a desert of tedium. I don't know where that is on the planet, geography was never a strong point of mine, but I'm guessing it's somewhere were it's hotter than a clingfilm catsuit. Wow, those last two words are really going to throw my input from Google :-)

But over the top drama and negativity aside, I've had a few patches of welcome shade and comfort in the last week or so (Ed: don't oversell the metaphor, Lynn). Firstly, my little girl has learned to wave. Sure, she won't win an award for that, but it's a parent thing. :-) I've still got a job (when lots of folk haven't) and there's been a few of those little things than make life flow so much smoother.

I had a bit of a spring clean at home ready for last night's trip to Nottingham Chameleons. The group were having a bring & buy sale. It's a good way of recycling things we don't want and it helps boost the group's coffers. I decided to be brutal. Okay, not iron fist in silk glove, more brutal over what items I should really let go. I looked through the cupboard and pulled out items that while I still liked, I hadn't worn for 9 months plus. Still, you know how it is. Once you get some wardrobe space, you kinda have the need to go and fill it back up don't you? :-)

So, in an effort to break the cycle of work, working lunch, work, home, veg out, sleep, repeat until Friday; I headed into town to see what's new in the clothing line. Luckily I didn't see any of those scary Dallasty power dresses I've seen in the glossies. Great if you're doing a Crystal inspired drag act, but not exactly stuff I'd want to wear. Mind you, I did see a very cute pair of acid bright heels (Ed: or Day-Glo as they were called it back in the day) and some denim leggings. Obviously not together! :-) I don't know if the latter will prove to be a step too far into the 80s, but I like my jeans snug. Anyways, while the above wasn't in my size, I did get a rather nice stripey top and a denim skirt. The latter got shortened as it was a touch too long.

Suitably armed and fabulous, I made my way to Chams. To be honest, my heart wasn't really in it and I wasn't sure that I fancied going through the whole dressing up gig. But... I was glad I made the effort! Arriving early, I helped Gillian set the tables up. We made some inane gag about them looking like a table tennis venue and then that was it, imaginary paddles and a non-existent ball was... ummm... not zipping between us. I think we both need to get out more. :-)

I got changed and usually I have the room to myself. We had four new people turn up and, well, I struggle with names so hello new people! :-) Two peeps on their own and a couple too. I had a bit of a natter as I got dressed up before heading downstairs.

Debbie - the photographer from last time - was kind enough to drop off the CDs with our photo sessions on. She has a real talent there. While I probably should have smiled a bit more (nerves eh?), I'm very impressed with the end product. I'll get round to uploading one at some point.

The bring and buy went well. The group made enough cash to avoid dipping into the funds. Nice to have that stash for the slow months and also to save up for the Xmas party too. I bought a necklace - too cute to resist. My old wig went quickly (lucky Tina! Blond to brunette eh chuck?) as did the books and my paisley skirt. A little bit of history disappearing I suppose, but then I wonder if people will link their own history to the item as they go through life. Life? Made up of good memories.

Take care
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Raoul by The Automatic ]

"Watch the way we drop our scars"

2009-03-20T19:52:00.002Z

Hey y'all,

A slow week this week - which makes for a nice change. So... umm... not much to say really :-)Not that that'll stop me. I am a blogger :-P

While poking around this blog, I stumbled upon the Blogger news feed. I don't know if you read that feed or not, there's an entry about Plinky. Not a person or the sound a coin makes when dropped in a jar, but a web site that asks you a question in case you've got blogger's block. When I looked the neural prod was: name a book that changed your mind or opened your eyes.

Well, I used to read. Not quite as voraciously as other people I knew but over the last year or so my reading habits have dwindled to just about zero. Oddly, so has my television viewing. I might catch the news while eating my tea, but a quick flick through the telly's what's on feature and most of the time I give up and go and do something else.

I am, at heart, a fantasist... or perhaps more accurately: an escapist. I like to day dream and the obscure and the whimsical hold my attention. To that end, I don't read biographies, watch soaps or straight dramas. I'm more of a science fiction (or fantasy) fan.

The BBC recently ran a series called Being Human. That I thoroughly enjoyed. Sure, it was effectively 3 people sharing a flat and while the motifs of the vampire and werewolf as people first, monsters second isn't brand new, I was gripped.

While I said I don't watch dramas, I did watch Queer as Folk when it was on. Why? Because it was a subject outside of my world. The characters interested me and while it was still very much this world, the side world that they seemed to inhabit was so different to my middle class white boy suburbia, it could well have been Moonbase Alpha. :-)

So to get back to the question in hand: which book? Gibson's Neuromancer holds a special place in my heart. I came back to sci-fi after a long break and while it was a good eight years after its release, the idea of a broken future seemed fresh and it appealed to me. Don't get me wrong, I like were I live (now anyway), but a dystopian future was an interesting place to read about. It certainly gave my imagination something to mull over. Perhaps it was my teenage nihilism, but looking through the cracked mirror you saw people who while flawed, strived against the environment. Is there a moral to this? Maybes... If I give my head a shake [ow!] some fortune-cookie soundbite may rattle out. Now doubt something along the lines of: no matter how bad it seems, there's always hope.

So, it is Neuromancer? No. Excellent though it is, it didn't change my world view. Neither did the Bible (in case you were curious) nor a couple of self-help books I made my way through. Instead it was a book the dear Mrs Jones gave to me in passing. It was one of those society/psychology books you get, although to be fair that doesn't to it justice. The book is Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps by Allan Pease & Barbara Pease. It's by turn serious science, witty anecdotes and wry personal observation.

The book discusses the differences between men and women in a friendly, light hearted manner. Frankly, it's a miracle either couples manage to stay together when we're so seemingly damned incompatible. :-) But beyond the witty banter, the more serious subject of us being very heavily influenced by our brain chemistry started to ring true for me.

So why did this change my world view? There's a section on gay folk where the authors state that being gay isn't a lifestyle choice: it's a physical state of being. If that's true of gay people, my brain wondered, is the same true of trannys? For years I wondered if I could or should stop. Why did I keep coming back to this 'lifestyle' if it - as it did years ago - freak me out? Why do I share the same pattern of behaviour with other trannys? The early memories, the teenage panic, the 20s purging and then the deep dive back into it during my 30s. [ Although technically, that's not 100% true: I was seriously off the wagon in my late 20s - just seriously in the closet. ]

I settled on brain chemistry... or hormones... or genetic differences - whatever science you want to wrap it up in, that's cool. The key thing - and to be honest, it's more my interpretation of the book rather than proven science - is that I'm wired this way. Which brings us back to Neuromancer and what Molly Millions said:

"'Cept I do hurt people sometimes, Case. I guess it's just the way I'm wired..."

Wired. I am built this way. To me it's a natural as breathing or wanting to care for my family.

I felt... relief? No, more than that. Like... like I had the answer. It may not be the answer for you, but it was the one that made a little light go 'ting' in my head. After that wee Epiphany, the whole 'Sh**! I'm a tranny' gig slowly wound down and fizzled away, until one day, I realised it just didn't bother me. Sure, I have the odd blip, but then I do over being a good husband or doing the right thing as a dad.

So you go. Plinky to the rescue. Stay safe and I hope you have a good weekend!

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Kissing the Sun by The Young Gods ]

ps: Talking of writing, you know what they say: you wait for ages and then two TG themed articles appear on the Beeb's website :-). This time it's the turn of Boston Belles.

"He'd come in third in a two-horse race."

2009-03-13T21:19:00.011Z

Hi,

Considering it was Friday the 13th today, things have been pretty good. I dropped Wee Man off at school - suitably equipped for Comic Relief - and after a hug goodbye, I drove off into the glorious Spring sunshine. Ahhh, that weather's a welcome change: the warmth of the sun on your face and a lovely blue sky. Good stuff.

Yesterday was Going Out Night and I thought it went pretty well (Ed: Brit understatement). The group had a visit from a lady called Debbie who'd come along to do a photo shoot. To be honest with you, I hadn't planned on having my photo taken. I'd only brought one outfit (yes - unusual for a tranny, but there you go) and didn't have much cash on me. Well, not strictly true. I had the takings from the last meeting, but that would be theft wouldn't it? :-) So that was a no?

After a few folk had had their snaps done and the rush had died down, I asked nicely if Debbie how far a tenner would stretch.... from a photographic point of view (for those of you with dirty minds). The Lady from DeMonte said yes and a number of shots later it was all over. I didn't feel a thing. :-) All I will say is that Debbie is a *very* good photographer. I'm always slight in awe of those who have the knack of taking the right shot. I had look at the images she'd caught, but she said she'd drop the finished versions off at the next meeting. Something to wait for eh? Good times! :-)

We also had a visit from two new folk: Angelina and Stacey (I'm sh** with names). I wasn't sure if they were BF + GF or just friends. I didn't like to pry - it might sound dodgy :-). That aside, a lovely - umm? - couple (apologies if you're not together!) and we had a nice chat about this that and the other. That's one (of the many) good things about Chams. You get to catch up with friends, make new ones and generally have a good time. We can also be there if you've got questions or are worried about something.

At the end of the evening, I got changed back into Bob mode and headed downstairs to say goodbye to people. I'm trying to clear a bit of space in my wardrobe, so I gave away some black heels (not a good fit) and some unopened make-up (which I'd won weeks earlier). Dropping my bag off to help with the chairs, I bumped into them both again. Stacey was surprised at the (reverse) transformation. Strange what a good wig and padding in the right place can achieve. :-) I'll never pass, but frankly - wait for it, wait for it - I don't give a damn. :-) Why fret over the unachievable? All the wishing in the world wouldn't change my shape or face, so why waste the energy? Just enjoy what you've got....

... which brings me round to Comic Relief. I've put a few quid in (Ed: again, understatement) - well, more than last year - have you done the same? It's odd how the programme seems to affect me more that it used to: certainly more now I've got kids. I know it's charity and I know that'll make some people's lips curl, but f*** it. Given all that I've got - environmentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually - will I miss the money I donate? Do I really *need* another meal out or a pair of posh shoes? Maybe someone else needs a little luck and here's my chance to do something. It's a small something, but if enough of us do it, good things can happen.

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Last of the Secret Agents by Nancy Sinatra. Why? I didn't get the job I told you about a few entries ago. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be. I gave it a go and that's cool. On the up side, I don't have to switch teams and who knows - maybe other possibilities will arise. ]

"The writing's on the wall, It won't go away."

2009-03-06T18:13:00.002Z

Hi,

How's things with you? All Cool and the Gang I hope.

As I walked through the warm Spring sunshine my mind, as ever, started to drift. A young lady crossed the road in front of me, heels springing her across the road (not literally) in a way that seemed effortlessly glamorous. How do some women do that? Practice maybes. Anyways, her black on black office outfit reminded me of a night at Chams a few months ago and when that thought drifted into my head: what if people at work knew? I pushed it away not wanting to tempt Fate.

Skip back a few weeks and the Nottingham Chameleons got an email from a local paper asking if they could come and do an interview. We had a brief chat about it and decided against it. I mean, this was about 2 weeks after the events down south in Liphook. I'm sure the paper meant well, but the current venue is out of the way enough to be off the radar unless someone's specifically looking.

Anyhoo, jump forward to last night's telly programme - Inside Out. For those of you outside of the UK, it's a regional magazine programme that features events, places and people within your local area. This episode featured a local lass who is in the process of transitioning but that's by the by (Oh - good luck Debbie! :-D ). The BBC's website has a little more information about Debbie and... a link to the Nottingham Chameleons website.

Bugger.

So I had a little touch of The Fear the other day. Not the stomach dropping panic I felt when someone outed me back home, but it wasn't pleasant. Still, a nice cup of tea - honestly, I'm so British it almost hurts - and a quiet think certainly helped keep some perspective.

The reason I'd like to keep this part of my life away from work is because of my family. I think I could handle the well meant joshing from my work-mates. But what about outside of work? I don't want my kids to be singled out because of who I am. Other than the concern for my family, I think that people knowing would alter the dynamic between myself and friends. Gee, that sounds fancy doesn't it? :-) I think I'd stop being "------" and be "------ the tranny". I'm not sure I'd fancy being pigeonholed - nay, stereotyped - like that.

I suppose the obvious answer would be to remove this blog and withdraw from the Internet. Why not? Simply because I get a lot of out of blogging - both the process of sharing what's going on in my life, reading what other people are getting up to and - as I've said before - the exchange of views via comments.

Oddly, I'm in touch with a few mates from back home (Facebook, it's a strange beast) who could know - yet either they've ignored it, would like to ask but daren't or - and I'm hoping this is really the case - it's a non-issue. Yesterday's news. SFW and all that. (SFW? So f***ing what).

To wrap this us - if some new friends are reading this. Two things: 1) Hello and 2) Buy me a pint and I'll answer your questions if you like.

Take care & stay safe,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: The Omen by The Prodigy ]

"Between the lines of fear and blame, And you begin to wonder why you came..."

2009-02-27T19:44:00.009Z

Hiya,

Man, I'm glad the weekend is here. What a week! :-) Nothing bad to report, just the bits at work have been very frantic. I'm glad that's behind me.

Thursday night was a bit different. As the usual hosts (and hostesses) were away, I had the honour of opening up for the group. As Mrs Jones is out tonight, I got an early pass and was off to the centre to sort things out.

Tables and chairs done, I nipped into the side room to get changed and I was pretty much done (just putting my lippy on) when the first person walked in. I picked up the dress last year during the summer sales and while it's shorter than I'd usually wear. with opaques and boots, I'm okay with it... I just have to watch how I sit down! :-)

Anyhoo, Jane had kindly brought along an award certificate from Nottingham Rainbow - a local county-wide LGBT group - that she'd collected on behalf of the group. It was to celebrate how long the group had been running for and for the work they'd done in helping people.

I suppose looking from outside, or perhaps looking in as a non-tranny, you may wonder what that work is. Well, most of the time we sit around, talk and drink tea. It's very British. :-) But jokes aside, that's all that can be required sometimes. I mean, think back to what it was like before you got your head around who you were. Indeed, maybe you're still finding out. After all, it takes time and sometimes a little help: a friendly face and the chance for a chat with someone who can (hopefully) understand.

What goes on at the group - well, that's one thing I do get asked about a few times. It is a lot of sitting about and talking, but then I enjoy a similar level of socialising with my mates down the pub. The only difference is at Chams, I don't have to watch what I say. There are no secrets and that, for me at least, is very liberating.

Later on, we cleared up and I got changed. I wasn't long but most folk had started to leave by that time and I was left to lock up. That's something I've never had to do and it was kinda odd: pulling the door shut with my clothes all packed away and my face bare, it seemed like a chapter ending. At least, a chapter from a well loved and enjoyable book - with luck, one I shall be coming back to again.

Take care and I hope the weekend is kind to you,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: How to Save a Life by The Fray ]

PS: In other blog news, Staci - she of Femulate fame - has posted one of those before and after group shots. It's a subject that somehold grabs my attention. Not sure I'm brave enough to show you all how I look 99% of the time :-) ]

"Daddy told me look into the future, sit at your computer..."

2009-02-20T21:52:00.004Z

Hey folks,

By some strange quirk of Fate, I've been working away from the office for a few days this week. Sometimes from home, other times from remote sites. It's not something I do a lot, so there was a fair bit of novelty to it. With broadband and the various remote access technologies out there, working remotely was a doddle.

I sat enjoying a quiet cup of tea as I waited for an installation to finish, my mind drifted. Firstly, it was nice to be able to sit and look out on to the garden rather than the usual view from the office window. Secondly, I wondered if this was a sign of the future. With the UK Government using motorists as a serious revenue stream and the ever rising costs of running an office ('leccy, parking, rent, etc): how long before we really see a shift to a virtual workforce? I've read about start-up companies - particularly in large cities - doing this, but how long before the mainstream catches up?

Sure, there are some Health & Safety issues to address - apparently a laptop on your knee for 8 hours isn't the done thing (which I don't do) - and some less trusting management regimes aren't keen on the idea of the staff being out of sight. But it can mean you can work more flexibly and that you're not sat in traffic using petrol up or clogging the roads. Web cams and VOIP telephones mean remote meetings are possible. Although to be fair, I still prefer a good, old fashioned sit-around-the-table meeting with a flip chart and pens. :-)

Is this a good thing? The idea of more home working or will it just mean more working hours and even more blurring between home/office life? For some jobs, you do need to be there. But for many office jobs, you don't: telephone and email can be all you need. The one thing I did miss, however, was the office chit-chat and banter. Sure, you could say it's distracting, but I like to call is socialising :-)

In other news, I spotted this advert for a Marks & Spencers' capsule working wardrobe. It features 5 Mylene Klass's. Now... who wouldn't want to work in an office like that? :-) Mind you, at those prices, I'm tempted by a few items myself.

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: No Good Advice by Girls Aloud... who won something at the Brits - yay! ]

"Twenty-four little hours..."

2009-02-13T18:51:00.001Z

Hi,

As the song goes, what a difference a day makes... At the start of the week, I had one those bad days that comes along once in a while. It seemed everything I did just didn't work. But, there are two bright sides to this: 1) it's only work* and 2) if you didn't have bad days, the good days wouldn't seem as good.

* Work? Yes. Hmmm. It was one of those days. I do try to leave work behind when the office door shuts, but there are times when what you've been doing (or been unable to do) nags at you. I guess it cuts the other way too. I remember someone telling me to leave your personal life at home - all well and good if you don't have a life at home :-) (Ed: meow) - but the rest of us mere mortals? We're not robots, so what goes on in life spills over into whatever you are doing.

Anyways - lets not dwell on the fleetingly negative! Thursday was a very different affair. As Mrs Jones was working late, I was on school duty..... so I had the afternoon off to make sure I'd get away in time. What could I do in the 3 hours prior to picking up Wee Man? :-)

I headed into town to pick up a Valentine's gift for the ever lovely Mrs Jones. That done, I thought I'd drop by Hot Hair and see if they had anything in. I'd seen a nice wig on their website (Kat) *and* it was in the sale. Being in the sale, it had sold out.... pants. So on a whim I dropped by Debenhams because their wig stock (Ed: wasn't that a festival?) is very good. I tried on a few - the ladies are very helpful and it's nice and private - but I went back to my first choice. An hour later, I'm made-up, packing my bag for a night to Chameleons and I've tried my new wig on.

Despite a half-hearted attempt at another white-out, the Fates smiled and the snow turned to sleet and then to rain. Roads clear, I headed off to Chameleons. I was first in (Sandy had asked for someone to open up), so I put out the tables and chairs. I hung around a bit seeing if anyone would show (due to the weather), but after 10 minutes, I went upstairs to get changed. Unusually for me, I actually remembered my camera.

Thursday evening turned out to be a really good night. I had a very pleasant chat with friends, catching up with what they've been up to and I met two new people too. Dave and Becky. Both were nervous - and who can blame them? - but had plucked up the courage to come in from the cold (literally) to see what the group was like. I didn't get to talk to Dave much, but I had a good long chat with Becky and this that and the other.

All in all, a very good time!

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: What a Difference a Day Makes by María Grever ]

"They come, they come, To build a wall between us, We know they won't win"

2009-02-06T19:17:00.001Z

Hiya,

How's things going? All good I hope. For those of you in the UK, did you cope with the snow? :-)

Snowgasm

Crikey, it's been cold this week - indeed, just the right level of cold to make it snow... and woo, did Mother Nature save some up for the UK this year. I've still got this child-like glee of the snow. The sound it makes when you walk on it, the effect a snowfall has on sound, the things you can make (igloos, snowmen, etc) and perhaps just the fact that we (Brits) don't get a lot of it.

Perhaps it's the rarity of it, that there's some magical quality to a snowfall. Maybe living in Norway or New England would cure me of it, but I think I'd have a blast for the first few months. :-) Of course, taking the kid's to school or driving to work in a blizzard it is not so much fun - even if there's a fair bit of novetly attached to it. Still, schools were closed so it was off home to get the wellies on and build snowmen in the back garden!

Read all about it!

Prior to the big snow-in, I was visiting the outlaws and in a quiet moment, thought I'd have a look at the paper. I don't really read the press, not through any snobery or moral opposition, but just sheer laziness. I can get the headlines from the BBC via RSS, so why pay for a paper?

This particular paper was The Daily Mail - stop groaning at the back! :-) I'll skip on the whole why-I-don't-like-The-Mail discussion because it's old hat. So... page 7 I think it was and I catch sight of the words: invaded by transvestites.

Good grief! A drive-by shoe pillaging? An out of town store stripped to its hangers of all that glitters? No, a small town somewhere in the UK hosts another regular social event where chaps go along and... well, dress up like ladies. You can read the article here. BTW, what makes it for me, is not the article itself but the comments from Jo(e) Public. It seems the majority of the public just don't give a sh** what we tranny folk get up to... Provided it's not kinky stuff - but I wouldn't want any part of that either! :-)

Sure, we look a bit odd - I'll hold my own hand up to that - but really, are we hurting anyone? If the idea behind the piece was to whip up a storm of fear and panic, then... well, F minus boys & girls, seems most of the public's just not with you on this one.

Go Joe Public! :-)

[ Today's lyric: Don't Dream it's Over by Crowded House ]

"All dressed up just like an English chappie,Very snappy!"

2009-01-30T20:48:00.001Z

Hiya,

The other week I was at a conference: a small do of about 30 people - all of them blokes. Well, all blokes bar the lady who organised the whole gig. She had a really nice black shift dress with a faux shirt layered under it... but I'm waffling.

I, like perhaps you, do my fair share of dressing up - cross-dressing if you want to be precise - but what about dressing up the other way? Male dressing up. Some may say 'en drab' but that's not always true. There are some nice clothes if you're a chap. Shirt and tie are typical office garb, but there's other uniforms: a format of clothes that marks us out as a particular type of worker.

Talking of uniforms, one common sight at these conferences is the suit. Or perhaps more accurately, the business suit and tie. I keep my suits for such occasions because like a nice dress, I like to keep them special. To me, a good suit, isn't something you wear everyday. It takes the occasion out of it, but then my attitude to clothes, perhaps like yours, is rather broader than your average chap. :-)

During one of the seminars - where my mind drifted off as per - I started to take in my fellow attendee's clothing. While 'the suit' was the top item, I noticed a number of gents with open collars and no tie. Maybe I'm odd - no, don't answer that - but to me, wearing a suit without a tie just doesn't feel right.

I've read and heard in a few places that the tie is on it's way out, but I'm not sure I agree. Maybe we will become less formal, but I think if you need the right look - perhaps gravitas even - you need to be dressed up properly. A shirt and no tie means 'down the pub'. :-)

Take care
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Putting on the Ritz by Irving Berlin. Something I cannot hear without thinking about Young Frankenstein :-) ]

"And the problem with success is you become what you detest, How about that?"

2009-01-23T22:15:00.000Z

Hello,

I feel the urge to start off with some witty comment rather than the usual "how's you?" But my feet are cold and really I should be sorting out something to eat, so I'm not quite in the zone. Shall we just get straight to it? (Ed: oo-er!)

Have you ever worked for something - a personal goal, some material item, job or holiday - and then when it's just about to arrive, stop and think: is this what I really want?

I'm on that track right now. There's a job opportunity opening soon and for the last year or so I've been thinking: once so-and-so position arrives, I can put my hand to that and leave a lot of this junk behind! Funny thing is, now the new position is about to be released (at least according to the rumour mill - or 'cooler talk' as I hear from overseas), I'm looking at it thinking: but is that really me? Do I really want to go down that route?

I guess parts of it are self-doubt (can I do it?) but more of it is: will it interest me? Do I want to leave my work mates behind? I mean they're a really good bunch - and in the unlikely event they're are reading this, thanks for keeping schtum :-D

(Ed: You know, if someone posts anonymously 'Your secret's safe with us Lynn, Love from all in XYZ Corp' - she'll freak out )

We have a good laugh together and, hand on heart truth: it's more who I work with that makes the job than what I manage to complete. Maybe I'm just weird... Actually, don't answer that :-)

The other factor is the pace - or perhaps my impression of what the pace may be. From down here in the trenches, it seems all rather high powered. It's also change; I know I can do what I do now. This new role will be away from hands-on to something slightly more remote and communication orientated. Funny, because I can talk - and write - for England. I enjoy giving presentations or teaching people how to do stuff. Hell, maybe I missed my vocation: "Smith, take those heels off until you can walk properly in them.... Now, off to Maths, there's a good lad." :-)

So I'm in a bit of a quandary at the mo. Possibly, I should apply when the chance arrises and if I don't get an interview, or fluff the one I could get, it wasn't meant to be. I can always comfort myself with a spot of shopping :-)

I think it's now, now that I've a family of my own, that I sit back and think: is work now just something to pay the bills? Does any of it really matter compared to what happens in my own time? Then I look at what I'm doing now and wonder if it'll last me until I retire. Maybe the time to jump is now. Ahh, to see one's future or not eh? :-)

And on that note, take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: The Right Decision by Jesus Jones ]

"Teardrop on the fire of a confession"

2009-01-16T18:50:00.005Z

Hi,

It's a slow news week this week, but that's not always a bad thing is it? I don't know about you, but I can't be bothered with too much drama. It's just so tiring. :-)

Earlier in the week I was talking with a friend who's single again. No, he's not a tranny as far as I know, so we can't blame the break-up on that. But that got me a thinkin' around the whole TG + relationship business.

Some of us are open from day one and tell all. Some of us don't, perhaps hoping that we'd never need to tell or that maybe it'd stop by itself. For some, perhaps it does. For me - and possibly you if you're reading this - it may not have :-) So I wonder, is there ever a good time to tell your partner? How soon is too soon? For those of you not in a relationship, is being TG stopping you from finding someone?

Please forgive my curiosity, but I've only my own experiences to go on. I didn't tell the future Mrs Jones. Well, that's not strictly true....

if I've said this elsewhere, feel free to skip to the next blog :-)

... as when we met, I do recall saying it was something I'd done in the past. She was cool with that. We were young and at the time, it was true. I hadn't given up, but I'd stopped. As I've said elsewhere, there's a big difference. Giving up, well, that's fine: you're ready to pack it in and do something else with your time.

But stopping? Ahhh. A different kettle of ballgames to be sure. :-) That's you drawing a line in the sand (Ed: how many cliches are you going to squeeze in here?) and making yourself quit..... Even though I'd 'stopped' I still thought about it. I suppose in a world where half the population is dressed in clothes you feel more affinity to - at least on a part time basis - cold turkey's going to be tough.

I think I managed a couple of years before I resumed old habits. I threw myself into my job and other hobbies, but it was always there. Perhaps more accurately, I was always there because this is who I am. Not the guy with the books, CDs and a motorbike (Ed: such a cliche!) but instead a guy who likes to express his female side once in a while. A guy who's happier playing with the kids than watching footy or who'd rather shop than go down the pub with the lads.

When did I tell the ever lovely Mrs Jones? Just over 10 years ago. I won't share the details with you. It did alter our relationship. How could it not? I felt such a sh** for doing so, yet I knew that if I didn't deal with the pressure inside of me: something would go very wrong. I think a lot of us have been there - perhaps some of you are going through this right now.... and I include partners in this. It's not easy from either side of the fence. Trouble aside, we got through it somehow. Taking things slowly and talking about it as best we could. It can't have been easy for her and I'm eternally grateful that we are still together. I didn't want my crossdressing to come between us, although I knew that to stay sane - which sounds melodramatic, but any tranny (and a partner or two) who's 'bottled it' will know what I'm talking about - things couldn't stay as they were.

Where am I headed with all of this? Not a clue.... as ever. :-) What I will say is if you thinking about coming out, take it slowly and do it at home. It's likely to be an emotional event for both of you and a resturant is not the place for little secrets. :-)

Take care,
Lynn
x

[ Today's lyric: Teardrop by Massive Attack ]

"Both wide awake and dreaming of yesterday..."

2009-01-09T19:22:00.001Z

Hey folks,

W'sup? :) Brrr. It's been a bit cold here in dear old Blighty hasn't it? The tempreature has barely made it past 5 degrees most days. For the UK, that's rather cold.... then I see the weather for Canada or Iceland and I'm glad of where I live :-)

The week's been a little odd. With the rush of Christmas and the seemingly long slog through winter to *ahem* look foward to, my mind's a bit of a muddle. It started just after New Year's Day, a kind of grey fog where I kinda lost interest in just about everything. Well, almost everything. Perhaps it was because I was feeling a bit down, my tranny circuits went into overdrive. I started thinking about things I'd agreed not to do: shaving my legs or having my ears pierced. Perhaps they were just silly daydreams: designed to provoke me out of the cloud I was under. I'm a dreamer what can I say. Maybe I'd rather spend my time pondering the pointless than concentrate on the hear and now eh? :-)

But, the brief blip of darkness passed. I did neither and I'm glad I didn't. To do so would adversly affect my home life and if I'm honest - with myself and you too - I spend more time in bloke mode than anything else. To push the envelope to bare legs and pierced ears would I think be too much for the ever lovely Mrs Jones. That clearly wouldn't be right.

I could also do with all the insulation I can get right now. :) That schoolyard and the walk to work is bloomin' cold. I was digging out my opaques the other day just to keep another layer on. (Ed: Yeah, right. Whatever you say). Earlier in the year I was reading about fashion tights, strictly from a tranny POV, only to find a website (which typically I failed to bookmark) that covered the tips and traps of hoistey for gents. A quick rummage through Google, shows quite a few manufactures flogging their wares as us menfolk. I'm not sure I'm ready to sport a bright red pair to work instead of socks. To me, somethings just remain female clothing. Oh the irony eh? :)

[ Today's lyric: The Loving Kind by Girls Aloud ]