Steve Charing OUTspoken

Don't Ask, Just Repeal

2009-07-12T23:42:00.004-04:00

Letter Published in the

July 14, 2009 Edition of the Baltimore Sun

I applaud the Sun's editorial (July 12) urging Maryland's Congressional delegation to make a more concerted effort to repeal the utterly foolish "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy which denies openly gay men and lesbians the right to serve in our Armed Forces.

The nonsense offered by the proponents of the status quo that openly gay soldiers in the ranks would have a negative effect on troop morale and unit cohesion is just that--nonsense. Two dozen nations, including Canada, Great Britain, Israel and Australia, allow openly gay and lesbian service members without suffering from a decline in morale. What does that say about the confidence Congress has in our own troops? Other Western civilized countries can handle this assimilation but the U.S.--the land of liberty, freedom and equality--cannot?

Not only have 13,000 qualified, skilled service members been discharged since this discriminatory law was put in place, but a significant number of Arabic and other linguists were let go, which impeded our fight against terrorism and, therefore, compromised our national security.

In the meantime, the Pentagon has allowed the enlistment of thieves, drug dealers and those of sub-standard intelligence to fill the ranks needed to achieve enlistment quotas. How is that going to keep morale high?

Yes, our state delegation as well as others in Congress need to repeal this law as soon as possible. Our nation is ready for it. And our nation needs it.

Steve Charing

Clarksville, MD

Don't Blame Us

2009-07-07T16:51:00.003-04:00

Letter sent to TIME:

Reading Caitlin Flanagan's essay ("Why Marriage Matters", July 13) underscores how frivolous and unconvincing are the arguments put forth by opponents of same-sex marriage. They frighten people into believing that if gays and lesbians were allowed to marry, the institution of marriage as the bedrock of our society would crumble.

But the reality is that this institution is being threatened by a host of factors that heterosexual couples can by and large control. Gays and lesbians would no doubt face similar challenges. But all we ask is for the opportunity to be treated equally and secure the over 1,100 rights and responsibilities accorded heterosexual couples. And, we should not and cannot be blamed for adultery, children born out of wedlock, domestic violence, substance abuse and economic downturns that afflict too many heterosexual marriages today.

Steve Charing
Clarksville, MD

Temperature Control

2009-06-27T19:57:00.006-04:00

Keeping the heat on President Obama is right, but let’s be realistic.

By Steve Charing

Towards the end of the Pride festival a young lady asked me, "When will Obama give us our rights?" as if he can wave a magic wand.

The next day in an uncharacteristically testy e-mail blast, Equality Maryland called on its supporters to "Give President Obama a Piece of Your Mind."

Recently a well-publicized partial boycott by LGBT donors of a Democratic National Committee fundraiser was in response to the Department of Justice’s over-the-top legal brief in defending the Defense of Marriage Act as well as inaction on securing other aspects of the LGBT agenda.

And the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network staged a demonstration in front of the White House to bemoan the lack of progress to repeal "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell." Other protest marches in D.C. are planned for the fall.

What is going on here is a series of sporadic outbursts of frustration by many lgbt activists who resent the DOJ brief’s language and the slow pace in which campaign promises are being addressed.

Beleaguered President
LGBT activists are not the only ones turning the heat up on President Obama. He is also being criticized by Hispanics over the lack of comprehensive immigration reform. Environmentalists are on his case for not acting swiftly on global warming. Mr. Obama is hearing it from Republicans who oppose everything he is trying to do to lift the economy out of oblivion after they largely put it there.

He’s feeling pressure from the left, the right, the center, the media—just about everyone. He’s too timid on Iran. He’s driving the deficit up. His healthcare plan will doom the nation. He’s too pro-Israel. He’s too pro-Palestine. And North Korea has its sights set on Waikiki Beach. It seems like it’s time for him to get another dog.

This barrage of criticism and demands resembles a national dunking machine where Obama sits on the platform and the whole country is hurling balls at the metal circular plate.

From our perspective, President Obama clearly could have imposed a moratorium on DADT discharges while Congress sorts it out. And while I doubt he personally approved the language in the DOJ brief, he is still responsible for it, and it counters his pledge to repeal it through legislation. Are these outbursts, however, the right strategy?

The political realities
Of course, we want our agenda pushed through. We have a Democratic president with a huge Democratic majority in Congress—a window of opportunity that will not remain open forever despite the GOP’s foibles. But let’s get real.

President Obama has been in office just over 5 months out of 48 months in his first term. He potentially could reach 96 months if re-elected. In the short time since inauguration he has dealt with problems that would make any other person find an escape clause in the contract. His issues are too numerous to delineate here, but I’m sure there is no question as to the challenges facing our country. Imagine McCain and Palin grappling with these crises.

Mr. Obama didn’t win the election based on a gay agenda. He won on "change" and to put Democratic policies in place and eradicate the previous administration’s mistakes. He won on ending the war in Iraq and implementing some form of universal healthcare. And he won by being the anti-Bush.

He amassed 365 electoral votes. Even if Mr. Obama did not receive a single lgbt vote (and 30% of lgbt folks did not vote for him anyway), he still would have won. That’s right, as a bloc, and I use that term loosely, we didn’t win the election for him.

But that doesn’t mean he will renege on his campaign promises to us. The key components of our legislative agenda must originate in Congress. It is that body that needs to act on an all-inclusive ENDA, to repeal of DADT and to pass the Matthew Sheppard Act while we still have this large majority.

Alas, the repeal of DOMA appears to be years away from passage. It’s not politically realistic that sitting Representatives will want to enter their next electoral campaign with their opponents harping on the fact that the incumbent is opposed to preserving the institution of marriage.

But we need to start educating them and it would be easier to succeed on this front if we can achieve victories in the other important issues first. Once we achieve equality in one area, it is harder justify discrimination in other areas.

As much as the bully pulpit is useful for a popular president to help frame the agenda and kick-start the process, Mr. Obama will not sacrifice any political capital on these matters—yet—until HIS priorities are realized. Congress, however, must act now.

What needs to be done
Barney Frank, one of only three openly gay Representatives, believes that too much blame is being placed on President Obama and not enough significance is being attached to lobbying members of Congress. "It’s not that Obama doesn’t want to do it, but you need the votes," Frank said. "You can’t complain about the president until you’ve called your senator."

It doesn’t matter if President Obama is on our side if Congress won’t play ball. A grassroots effort is needed to persuade members of Congress—district by district.

Maintain the pressure on the president to make sure he understands we’re not going away. Let’s try to persuade him to deliver a speech along the lines of his race speech in Philadelphia and the recent speech in Cairo whereby he reached out to Muslims. Here he could denounce discrimination against lgbt people and to reiterate his desire to be a "fierce advocate for equality."

If we become extreme, any reactive moves on his part would be seen as appeasing a segment of his base. And keep in mind there is a significant number within his base who opposes transgender rights and marriage equality.

At the partially-boycotted DNC fundraiser Vice-President Joe Biden told the lgbt crowd, "I want to thank you for being a critical – critical – voice for keeping the nation focused on the unfinished business of true equality for all of our people; and I know, and this administration knows, that we have so much more to do. I promise you, I promise you, with your help we’ll get there in this administration."

The window is 48 or even 96 months, not 5. Remember that.

Safe or Out?

2009-06-12T11:55:00.011-04:00

The hesitancy on the part of gay people to fully come out proves we still have a long way to go.

By Steve Charing

It’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that the more LGBT folks who come out, the more likely our march towards equality will strengthen. When straight neighbors, co-workers, family members and friends know you as a person and then learn that you are LGBT, they are prone to be on the side equality and justice because of YOU. With straight allies, we will make progress. It’s a guarantee. They just need to find that comfort zone.

TV shows like Will & Grace presented images of our community through the antics of the likable characters. Clever and witty as the show was, it did tend to reinforce stereotypes that gay men are screaming queens or they are loveless. But all in all, we benefited since the show provided a needed comfort zone for an audience that in many cases never knew any out gay people.

When celebrities or other public figures come out—voluntarily—it gives our cause an added boost. Ellen DeGeneres’ coming out was the talk of the whole world. Although it wasn’t a complete surprise that she is a lesbian, the public still saw this as a bold and largely welcome step. Her career has since skyrocketed.

Years earlier Elton John admitted he wasn’t "bisexual" after all, but declaring he is gay didn’t hurt his career either. In fact, he emerged into superstar status and was even knighted!

Neil Patrick Harris has a successful TV gig going even after his coming out and deservedly so. He is not only a polished performer but he is right out there on the front lines fighting for equality. If there ever was a true lgbt role model, he is definitely on the list.

Others celebs, such as Rosie O’Donnell, Melissa Etheridge, T.R. Knight, Clay Aiken, Lance Bass and Lindsay Lohan came out with varying effects on their careers. But in every case, it was a positive development for the LGBT community.

Most recently, Adam Lambert, the runner-up in American Idol’s 8th season, came out officially and publicly in Rolling Stone magazine. No shocker there. But why did he wait?

Obviously, it was a calculation that while the AI contest was still in play, he didn’t want to risk losing the potent "tween" vote if he had been more up-front about his sexuality. It turned out he lost that vote as well as others amidst the swirling rumors fueled by his guy-liner, wild costumes and enlightening photos.

Would it have changed the results had he come out during the show’s run? Not likely. While some would have given Lambert props for his courage, those voters who were inclined to vote for Kris Allen would have continued to do so.

Lambert’s coming out is welcome to be sure, but his comment to Rolling Stone, "I'm trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader," tempered the enthusiasm some.

Other "out’ celebrities have been even more reluctant. They are known to be gay but don’t want to push the envelope. One prominent local celebrity who had come out in the Baltimore Sun declined an interview with OUTloud lest she be defined by her sexual orientation. Despite the fact she would have been embraced as a role model, this iconic figure is ostensibly "playing it safe."

Also puzzling was the rationale given by the staff of Sex in the City’s Cynthia Nixon to an OUTloud request to publish the text of a recent speech at Equality Maryland’s "Night Out For Equality," where she had been the guest of honor. Her speech garnered a standing ovation from the 400 or so in attendance.

On May 17 the actress had publicly announced her engagement to Christine Marinoni at a gay-rights rally in New York. Her address to the cheering crowd is on You Tube. It made all the papers. She’s out!

But when asked to allow our readers to see her exceptional speech in print from the "Night Out for Equality" event, we learned through an intermediary that the Cynthia Nixon camp did not want to release the text to the press because they were worried that the words would be taken out of context.

That’s as mystifying as it gets. If the spoken word is not considered vulnerable to misinterpretation, why would the written word be taken out of context? This safe and cautious approach mitigates the gutsy pronouncements from other celebrities who come out unambiguously.

It’s bad enough that gay and lesbian elected officials tend to remain in the closet. Gay professional athletes fear coming out. Other gay and lesbian celebrities stay closeted as well. And that’s a sad thought especially since we are in the midst of celebrating Pride.

But if you are out, then REALLY come out. All this caution does is demonstrate that there is still fear, still trepidation, still hesitation for declaring unequivocally who you are as a person. That shouldn’t be.

Apparently, we still have a long way to go.

California Quake

2009-05-29T10:29:00.009-04:00

The court decision was a setback, but it will make us focus on a better strategy.

By Steve Charing

As recently as 10 years ago, few thought that "gay marriage" would ever be at the forefront of a national dialogue.

At the time, the LGBT community and allies were reeling from the failed effort to allow openly gay and lesbians to serve in the Armed Forces. We were trying to nudge a bill through Congress that would provide anti-discrimination protections in the workplace for gays and lesbians. And we were attempting to enact legislation at the state and local levels to protect the gay and lesbian community from discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodations.

That was our agenda a decade ago.

It all changed on May 17, 2004, when the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts ruled in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health that the state constitution couldn’t limit marriage to heterosexual couples. The issue of same-sex marriage was all-of-a-sudden thrust near the top of the national debate when conservative religious groups and others went ballistic.

Ballot initiatives in 11 states to ban gay marriage popped up like spring dandelions. All passed. Many believe that the controversy generated enough evangelical voters in Ohio to tip the election to George W. Bush in 2004.

Accordingly, gay activists were unprepared for this war compared to the more organized and better funded religious right. Our side depended largely—but not entirely—on having the courts remedy what has been seen as violation of the equal protection clause in many of the states’ constitutions as well as the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

Fast-forward to the recent California Supreme Court ruling by a 6-1 vote that disheartened the LGBT community and supporters by upholding the iniquitous Proposition 8 outcome that resulted from the November 2008 ballot measure. Although the approximate 18,000 couples who married prior to the election result were permitted to retain their status, the disappointing, but not necessarily surprising court decision, prompted an angry backlash from marriage equality advocates.

The ruling highlighted the fact that the judicial system, while helpful in many cases, cannot totally be counted on to make same-sex marriage a reality. This energy generated from the decision will be channeled in California to appeal to the voters again and essentially reverse the outcome of Prop 8.

That’s the correct strategy.

Hopefully with better leadership of this effort it will be successful. A new coalition needs to come in and work with clergy of all religions to alleviate concerns and to emphasize that civil marriage is what is being sought—not religious blessings.

These leaders should reach out more aggressively to the African-American community to highlight the similarities between the civil rights movement and what gays and lesbians are seeking.

And why not take advantage of the many PFLAG chapters in California to allow representatives speak to senior citizen groups and educate them on the true meaning of family values? More than any other demographic, seniors accounted for the largest percentage of those who supported Prop. 8.

It’s far more expedient to file a suit in a court and hope that the judge or panel of judges issues a favorable decision. The judicial system is supposed to be our safety net. But what if that fails, then what?

We need to go back to the fundamental process of building grass-root support and having dialogues with key groups that are persuadable. Let’s take that approach, even if it requires a few years, and allow the issue to be decided by the legislatures, if not the voters, per se. Elected officials, more often than not, follow the will of the people.

The work is made easier when more and more gay folks come out. You would be surprised as to how many people support our efforts who would ordinarily not side with us. Steve Schmidt, the chief campaign strategist for none other than John McCain, comes to mind. His sister is a lesbian.

This would be a violation of the aphorism, don’t let the rights of a minority be put up for a popular vote. But that may be the best route to take in the long run. In California, for example, we cannot change the minds of the justices, but we can change the voters’ minds if an effective strategy is crafted and executed. And that could reverse the results; after all, we only lost by 4.5 points back in November.

To underscore this strategy, a bunch of lgbt advocacy groups including the ACLU are urging others to refrain from filing federal lawsuits because as they see it, the Supreme Court does not have the make-up at this time to rule favorably on a same-sex marriage case.

There are others, however, who believe that going to court is our best course of action. Lawyers Theodore Olson and David Boies—adversaries in the Bush v. Gore case following the bungled 2000 Florida vote—are leading the way.

A blogger on LGBT Rainbow Links FOCUS.com supports this approach by writing, "Either you go full steam ahead in war or just sit on the sidelines and lick your wounds. That's the trouble with ‘our society’ when it comes to the ‘LGBT leaders’ and time to put up or shut up, they fall to the wayside like a bunch of weak little mice."

But he adds, "You want gay marriage, you want equal rights, then be prepared to get down in the trenches and get dirty. Take the battle where it should have gone before."

And that battle is taking it to the people, which is the best strategy. File the suits in the courts anyway, but win the people over, too.

Did Adam Lambert Fall to Homophobia?

2009-05-23T12:44:00.007-04:00

By Steve Charing

To American Idol fans, the showdown between Adam Lambert and Kris Allen presented a marked contrast in singing styles, appearance, culture, sexual identity and yes, talent. To the LGBT community and its supporters, the heavily favored Lambert offered the first real chance of a gay American Idol winner and to happen so close to the upcoming Pride celebrations.

Clay Aiken had a good chance of winning in Season 2 but curious phone line snafus from his home state of North Carolina that impeded the voting process kept him from the crown. But Aiken came out of the closet years afterwards, so it would be conjecture that had he won, he would be considered a gay American Idol.

Adam Lambert did not pronounce publicly on the show that he is gay. Rumors and photos swirled around the Internet that reinforced the speculation that had resulted from his eyeliner make-up, painted black fingernails, blue-black hair and his earrings. Add that to his ability to reach those impossible high notes and the jury came in with a verdict.

All he said on the subject was, "I know who I am. I’m an honest guy, and I’m just going to keep singing." Usually straight guys in response to such a question would be a bit more direct.

Thus, for all practical purposes, the country saw him as the gay contestant. But did that account for his upset loss that embittered so many of his fans?

In his Newsweek Pop Vox blog, Ramin Setoodeh offered several reasons for the outcome, including the gay factor. He mentioned that the judges were so much in Adam’s camp that there was a backlash among certain voters. He pointed out that "tweens" were enamoured with Kris Allen, and they are the ones with the energy and text messaging tools to vote and vote and vote.

Then there was the Christian factor. Although Adam never professed his religious beliefs, Kris and third-place finisher Danny Gokey—both who are married—were very up front about their faith and their work with the Christian church. Many Idol viewers are from rural America and small towns and cities where the Christian population is heaviest. They see the program as family-friendly, and that may explain why most of the previous winners came from the south.

Regardless of sexual orientation, Adam’s appearance and style probably did not wear well with these folks. So the theory goes that when Gokey was eliminated, his voters jumped on the Kris bandwagon. And that was fueled by Christian blogs who labeled Adam as the devil and pushed hard for Kris.

Then there was the voting and its questionable rules. The prevailing rumor is that Arkansas—Kris’ home state with a population of less that 3 million people—managed to cast 38 million out of the total 100 million votes using computerized auto redial features and heavy texting.

If this is true, I’m happy that Arkansas has such technical skills, but it clearly skews the choice for an American Idol. It is noteworthy that the producers did not reveal the final voting breakdown. Why not full disclosure unless they see it as a controversy they prefer to avoid.

Although many have used the alleged "screeching" in Adam’s performances as the reason for voting for the rather bland but likeable Kris Allen, I don’t buy it. Virtually every voice coach and singing expert I’ve read said that Adam’s ability to reach such high notes pitch perfect is amazing, and definitely not a screech. "Tracks of My Tears," "Mad World," "If I Can't Have You" were performed brilliantly and without the so-called screeching.

No doubt all of these contributed to the outcome. Adam’s perceived sexuality, however, was becoming the more talked about subject. The finals pitted the soulful, straight, conservative, married Christian youth leader versus the flamboyant, gay, Broadway-rocker type. Leading up to the finale, the question among journalists and bloggers was, Is America ready for a gay idol?

Despite many denials from Christians and other fans of the show that sexual orientation was not an issue in their preference, we still see an awful lot of the following. This is an (unedited) example by one who was listed as White Pride 71 on MSN’s American Idol Message Board:

This is American Idol! Kris should have won. He has the great american values. He is someone parents will be happy to have their kids look up to. And most important he can really sing, not just yell and scream. If adam (alice) wanted to win he (she) should have kept his boyfriend at home and in the closet! But no he wanted to shove his queer devil lifestyle into our faces. Now he has learned that America does not want that fairy boy as a idol!

Did homophobia bring Adam down? It was a combination of reasons, but clearly homophobia was among them.

Party Poopers

2009-05-16T23:57:00.008-04:00

More Dems must get on board if we are to achieve progress.

By Steve Charing

It’s not that often in recent history that the Democratic Party would have so much dominance at both the Federal and state levels. And they achieved that status mainly by default.

The Republicans of late have been in a free-fall with no signs of reversal in the near future. The incompetence and hard-line dogma of the Bush-Cheney years have exacerbated the dwindling popularity of the GOP especially since the time they chose to invade Iraq without any provocation.

Then the economy faltered big time and the GOP response was the knee-jerk demand for tax cuts—their panacea for all of our economic ills. Throw into the mix the religious conservatives’ requirement imposed on Republican elected officials that they maintain rigid opposition to choice and same-sex marriage despite the public’s evolving mood on these.

Only a quarter of Americans now identify as Republicans, and that number is about to get worse as more African-Americans, Latinos and younger people become eligible to vote and replace the older, more conservative voters down the road. The GOP will continue to be essentially a white, Southern, evangelical party.

Will this shift from a strong two-party system help us to achieve LGBT rights? On the surface one would think it could. Democrats have always been more sensitive to our issues and the last bastion of moderate Republicans tends to be supportive. But we have problems within the Democratic Party, and that’s problems with a “P” and that stands for “Pastor.”

To be sure, there are conservative Democrats such as Maryland Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller who oppose civil unions, much less same-sex marriage, and skittish Democrats like Governor Martin O’Malley. But the key to achieve partner recognition and legal protections for transgendered individuals resides at the pulpits of African-American ministers who are overwhelmingly Democrats.

A number of Democratic African-American lawmakers are either ministers themselves or have strong ties to black preachers. Virtually every poll indicates that African-Americans oppose same-sex marriage at a significantly higher rate than the rest of the population. They tend to be religious and socially conservative, and their ministers denounce homosexuality from the pulpits using the very same Bible that at one time was used to justify slavery and racial segregation.

This is not helpful. Senator Anthony C. Muse (D-Prince George’s) and a pastor in his own right, has been seen by lgbt activists as an impediment to pushing the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act out of the Judicial Proceedings Committee in addition to his apparent opposition to transgender protections.

Delegate Emmett C. Burns (D-10, Baltimore County) [pictured], also a pastor, has been a vocal, unapologetic opponent of lgbt rights. He doesn’t want to see gays “sashay” to the alter. Accordingly, he earned a fat 0 out of 100 from Equality Maryland’s legislative LGBT-rights scoring system.

Delegate Frank Conaway, Jr., a Democrat, whose district 30 includes such LGBT-populous areas as Hampden, Remington, Mount Vernon and Charles Village incredibly said that allowing civil marriage for gays and lesbians will open the floodgates to the state having to recognize polygamy. After some letters and phone calls from angry LGBT constituents and allies, he apologized.

Nonetheless, during the 2009 General Assembly, Del. Conaway slowed up passage of the inheritance tax bill benefiting same-sex couples by introducing an amendment—later defeated—that would have defined domestic partner as “an individual of the opposite sex with whom another individual has a child in common.”

Even in Washington, D.C., former mayor Marion Barry, who was one of the early gay rights supporters, did an about face by voting against a bill in the City Council that would recognize the marriages of same-sex couples. “All hell is going to break loose,” Barry predicted. “We may have a civil war. The black community is just adamant against this.”

Despite Barry’s pronouncement, this is not to suggest that Democrats opposing our rights are all African-Americans or that all blacks are against us. Sen. Brian Frosh (D-Montgomery), for example, was the chair of the Judicial Proceedings Committee this session that bottled up the Transgender Anti-Discrimination Bill by not allowing an up and down vote in committee where it died.

On the other hand, African-American Senator Nathaniel J. McFadden (D-District 45 in Northeast Baltimore) was once an opponent of gay rights when he was a member of Baltimore’s City Council. Lately, he had stated that the issue of same-sex marriage should not be tied directly to the religious aspects of marriage. Raised as a Southern Baptist, Sen. McFadden explained his position "evolved" and had heard the same arguments before in places where blacks could not marry whites. "Discrimination in any form is unacceptable," he said.

Clearly we must reach out to our opponents to achieve success. And many of them are Democrats. Governor O’Malley and others must display the courage to help lead the fight. African-American preachers need to stop spewing anti-gay venom from the pulpits, recognizing that discrimination at any level is wrong. And Republicans should re-think their intransigent positions on LGBT issues before their party falls off the cliff.

For more discussion about this issue, listen to this NPR program.

Stonewall 40th Anniversary Pride Song

2009-05-12T10:04:00.009-04:00

Anti-Gay Bullying is Killing Our Kids

2009-04-30T19:38:00.005-04:00

By Steve Charing

South Carroll High School in Sykesville, MD held a "Unity Day" on March 26 to celebrate diversity. Included in the program in front of the entire student body was a presentation on lgbt issues by members of PFLAG that focused on the consequences of hate speech, hateful words and bullying.

To amplify the point, the presentations were followed by students’ writing insulting words on pieces of paper, like ‘faggot," "that’s so gay," "homo," etc. and proceeded to shred these epithets in the hope that the symbolic gestures would lead to permanent eradication of the vile language and the pervasive bullying that continues to exist in schools.

As well received as this demonstration was, apparently not all were happy about the event. A Mt. Airy woman in a letter to Gazette.com called the shredding of paper an "empty gesture" and stating that "words kill" is a "platitude." She wrote, "Words do not kill. Behavior kills."

Oh really?

Recently two suicides related to anti-gay bullying were tragedies that could have been avoided. An 11 year-old boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hung himself on April 6 in Springfield, MA. His suicide comes about a year after eighth-grader Lawrence King was shot and killed by a fellow student in a California classroom, allegedly because he was gay.

A little over a week later a second suicide—also by hanging—took place in Georgia by fifth-grader, Jaheem Herrera. "He was bullied relentlessly.

They called him gay and a snitch," his stepfather told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
"[Jaheem's best friend] said, 'He told me that he’s tired of everybody always messing with him in school. He is tired of telling the teachers and the staff, and they never do anything about the problems. So, the only way out is by killing himself.' "

Although neither student identified as gay, both students endured anti-lgbt bullying until they couldn’t take it anymore. And in both cases, the schools did not act on complaints.
Ironically, the suicides occurred in a month in which schools around the country participate in "Day of Silence" events to draw attention to bullying in the schools.

This effort has been promulgated by GLSEN—the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. A leader in anti-bullying education, GLSEN presents statistics that show how acute bullying is in schools—especially against LGBT students.

In a 2007 National School Climate Survey, 86.2% of LGBT students reported being verbally harassed, 44.1% reported being physically harassed and 22.1% reported being physically assaulted at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation. 73.6% heard derogatory remarks such as "faggot" or "dyke" frequently or often at school.

More than half (60.8%) of students reported that they felt unsafe in school because of their sexual orientation, and more than a third (38.4%) felt unsafe because of their gender expression. 31.7% of LGBT students missed a class and 32.7% missed a day of school in the past month because of feeling unsafe, compared to only 5.5% and 4.5%, respectively, of a national sample of secondary school students.

These numbers cannot be ignored.

"Anti-LGBT bullying affects all students, gay and straight alike," says GLSEN Executive Director Eliza Byard, Ph.D. "Bullies learn from an early age that anti-lgbt language is one of the most effective ways to torment their peers. And far too often, schools fail to address the problem."

GLSEN proposes a four-pronged approach to address anti-lgbt bullying and harassment. They recommend that schools adopt a comprehensive anti-bullying policy that includes in the categories sexual orientation and gender identity and expression.

They encourage required training so that school staff can be well equipped to respond to anti-gay name-calling, bullying and harassment in an effective and timely manner.

GLSEN supports student efforts, such as establishing Gay-Straight Alliances in the schools to help prevent anti-gay bullying.

And lastly, GLSEN recommends that age-appropriate, inclusive curricula be instituted to help students understand and respect difference within the school community and society as a whole.

"These two tragedies highlight the need for schools to do more to make sure their hallways and classrooms are safe for all students," says Byard. "Education, community and federal leaders need to come together and find solutions to the endemic problem of bullying in America’s schools. We owe it to our children to do everything we can to make sure they are safe in school."

Otherwise, young lives are being cut way too short.

Parenting a Trans Child (Special Guest Post)

2009-04-29T23:27:00.006-04:00

By a Parent of a 15 year-old Trans Child

You have no idea
When you bring that beautiful little bundle home, you have no idea what surprises it will bring. Listen and watch and allow. Gender identity and fluidity start to show up very early. Separate sexual orientation and gender identity in your head. They are different. We saw our child’s actions as behavioral choices that needed to be addressed for his safety. We did not get that his behavior was a matter of gender identification and self-expression. And this early misunderstanding caused a great deal of pain.

It’s unfortunate that gender identity can surface right along with the terrible 2s. Because we saw much of his behavior as willful, we actively discouraged his variant self-expression, and with the full support and help of a psychologist who obviously did not understand gender identity.

By the time he was six, my happy baby had become so angry and hurt, he threatened suicide. Back to the mental health profession we went. This time he was diagnosed with anxiety. A correct diagnosis, but another missed opportunity to identify and support his gender variance.
The key is this: You cannot make your child more comfortable with one gender or another.

That’s already been done. It’s built into the brain. Designed by God. The only power you have as parents is also the most important, and that is the power to make your child feel comfortable and celebrated or embarrassed and shameful.

Get ready for preschool, bullies and well-intentioned adults
Be upfront with providers. Tell the day care manager the truth and that you expect full support. Educate those who will care for your child. Bring resources; contact PFLAG to give a presentation. If you get resistance, find a new provider. You have more power here than you will ever have in public schools. Use it and enjoy it.

Bullies, if they haven’t already, will come out in preschool and will be an active and hurtful part of your and your child’s life, probably forever. Just as the parents of minority children teach their kids how to navigate in a world full of bigotry, you will too. From overt hate crimes to subtle, pernicious two-faced false support, you, your family and most especially your child will see it all. Do what you can to protect your child. More importantly, do what you can to prepare your child to deal with it.

If you haven’t already, you will now find adults who will attempt to "teach" your child the proper, acceptable behavior for his or her gender. This will range from frightening to punishing or even threatening. The most egregious of these well-intentioned adults are the sports coaches. They are the only adults still allowed to bully our children. Don’t tolerate it. One of the most important gifts I gave my son was lambasting a coach who was trying to "toughen him up" with verbal and emotional abuse.

Marital health and managing the great divide
If there exists a set of parents who agree on how to raise the most mainstream and conforming child, I have yet to meet them. The stress of raising a child with gender variance can and does rip families apart. One study claims 40% of trans kids are kicked out or run away. Don’t try to do this alone: PFLAG, therapy, support groups, good friends, a stiff drink once in a while. Use them all. Guard against sacrificing either your child or your marriage. You don’t have to understand or agree with your spouse. You do have to keep the child out of the middle, and you do have to treat everyone with respect and demand they do the same. A safe and nurturing childhood is a precious thing, and it must be protected. A healthy marriage is also a precious thing, something to last long after the children are grown and gone.

Schools, teachers and guidance counselors
I thank God that we have the dedicated educators and guidance counselors that work in our schools as part of the village that is raising my child. They are some of the most caring and hard-working professionals. But you have to be prepared: the system is bigger and more powerful than the individuals in it.

We found an undercurrent of bigotry painted over socially correctness. I don’t mean to be critical. I don’t think any individual has meant to be hurtful. I think we live in a binary society, and I think teachers, coaches and students don’t understand. I doubt that gender variance is part of their training. They mean well; they love kids. But until you get educated on this issue, you’ll likely do more harm than good.

Finding providers educated on gender
Telling your story. Again and again. That’s what it takes. By the time puberty came along and gender arose again in our house, we were in the hands of a wonderful therapist who recommended we see someone with experience. We had decided to put my son on puberty blockers, so I was looking for two trans-friendly providers: a psychologist and an endocrinologist.

The search was far more painful and difficult than it should have been. I started with our pediatrician, who had never encountered this before, so he wanted to learn more. That led him to the head of pediatric endocrinology at the state university medical system, who told him that my kid needed be in the care of a psychologist and a team to help him. But he could not recommend one. Nor did he offer to research to find someone.

Meanwhile, our family therapist had recommended two providers in the next city. Both were fully booked. They gave me more names of people who gave me more names. And I told my story, again and again. Finally we found a psychologist in our city, but he didn’t get teens and transition issues. Next provider was an hour away, but he had experience with trans kids. He is working out, and is helping our kid find his way through this. Then came the search for an endocrinologist. The first one, also an hour away, did not take insurance and wanted $400 for the initial consultation, with no guarantee to treat my kid. Finally I found one in our city. He charges me a $10 copay, and treats me and my son with respect.

Safety and decision-making
Get real and get there fast. The statistics are against you. Your child is at higher risk for depression, suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and premature death. Your job is to make sure your kid knows how to be safe. Make sure your kid knows about hate crimes. Make sure he or she never goes out without friends near by. Alone is vulnerable. During the teen years, be so careful of parties. Be so careful of drinking. Booze makes for bad decision-making. Parties and high-testosterone sporting events need to be attended with caution. I am not saying lock your child in a closet. I am saying be careful and teach your child how to be.

Finally, hold yourself gently
Raising a child who is trans or gender variant is difficult. It’s scary. It’s more than you bargained for. It’ll likely be more than you comprehend. So please hold yourself gently. Forgive yourself for not knowing; for not understanding. Hold your spouse gently. But mostly hold your child gently, so very gently. Because the world will not, even if it’s just the world of preschool and play dates. And finally, if you are involved with a family on this journey, if you’re a teacher or an administrator or a provider, please be gentle; please be kind; please get educated. You simply have no idea how much it will mean to them.

The Legislature's Trans-gression

2009-04-19T13:01:00.004-04:00

The General Assembly shamefully failed to act on transgender protections.

By Steve Charing

The just concluded 2009 Maryland General Assembly grappled with a slew of thorny issues. Lawmakers faced contentious debates on such matters as the death penalty, saving the Preakness, public utilities, the state’s precarious fiscal situation and many more. They even managed to squeeze in the passage of speed cameras "near" school zones and construction sites during the 90-day legislative session.

But a bill to outlaw discrimination in employment and housing on the basis of gender identity and expression never saw the light of day. As was the case last year, it died in committee.

Despite placing a high priority on this important piece of legislation by Equality Maryland—the state’s principal LGBT advocacy organization—and the multi-faceted strategy it employed to make this bill advance and succeed, it appeared that it was doomed from the outset.

Equality Maryland laid much of the blame for the failure of the measure on Senator Brian Frosh (D-Montgomery County), the liberal chairman of the Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee for not allowing the bill to come up for a vote when he had the power to do so.

Does Sen. Frosh truly believe that transgendered individuals should be discriminated against? I doubt it. Moreover, a transgender anti-discrimination bill had passed in his own Montgomery County.

But the way Senate politics are played, legislators who have aspirations for rising to leadership positions generally have to tow the line. And when the current Senate president, Thomas V. "Mike" Miller (pictured)—the longest serving leader of a state legislature in the nation and hence one of the true powerful forces—does not want a bill to come to the floor for a vote, a would-be successor not only must tow the line, he most certainly cannot cross it.

Political observers theorized that Brian Frosh may have eschewed an up-and-down vote in committee for that very reason.

People are still uncomfortable about transgendered individuals. Accordingly, many politicians are as well. Trans-issues are not as easy to explain to folks in the way that being gay or lesbian can be explained, although there remains an incredible amount of education needed on that front.

The arguments surrounding transgender protections render the issue contentious, and according to Dan Furmansky, former Equality Maryland executive director who was a legislative consultant during the session, "Key Democratic leaders view it as a political issue too hot to handle rather than an opportunity to address pervasive bias against a group of individuals who truly need anti-discrimination protections."

To be sure, Republican committee members tried to attach dubious amendments to the bill and Sen. Frosh claimed he was waiting for the House of Delegates to act first. Furthermore, "public accommodations" was stripped from the original bill to make it more palatable to waffling legislators. But this was pure gamesmanship, and the never-ending pursuit of political cover in the absence of courage won out at the final bell.

In my interview with Dan Furmansky, he noted that "Sen. President Miller is generally known as Democratic Party-power focused, not issue focused… He is concerned about what is politically palatable for the Democratic Party…I think [pro-LGBT] advancements are possible during his tenure if he believes it is ‘time.’"

But when will that be, if at all?

The time was clearly not now, as Mike Miller did not want to bring this issue for a vote primarily because of the controversial nature of it. And Brian Frosh complied.

The upshot of this political cowardice is that a transgendered person can be fired from his or her job simply because of who the person is even though it has nothing to do with work performance. A transgendered person can be kicked out of his or her apartment for simply being trans. Alas, discrimination is still alive and well in the free state of Maryland.

Many transgendered people struggle in trying to reconcile their mind with their birth body. They are more at risk for homelessness, poverty, bullying, suicide, victims of violence and other forms of discrimination than the remainder of the LGBTcommunity.

Yet I believe the elected officials overestimated the backlash if such a measure passed. Governor Martin O’Malley would have likely signed the bill into law as he sent letters of support to both committees involved and signed a similar law as Mayor of Baltimore.

In 2009, I’m banking on the fact that less and less people are inclined to allow discrimination to take hold in this very blue state. More grassroots efforts are required, though, to educate a public not familiar with trans-issues and ultimately the politicians will follow.

And to avoid yet another trans-gression, more sympathetic candidates should be sought to run against our opponents.

OUT on the Springboard

2009-04-15T12:29:00.006-04:00

Towson University diver is making a splash for LGBT rights.

By Steve Charing

Bradley Bolin is flexible when it comes to wardrobe. When he joined forces with other students demonstrating against the homophobic Topeka, Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church who picketed Towson (Maryland) High School, he was armed with several ensembles.

Rambling down the hill from the campus of Towson University to mix with the counter-protesters on York Road, Bradley toted a gym bag containing several outfits so he can switch off according to the fickle weather on a blustery early spring afternoon, while at the same time presenting several “looks.”

He initially wore a robin’s egg blue T-shirt with the line, “gay? fine by me.” As the sun tried to peek from behind the clouds, Bradley switched to a snug, dark blue tank top with the word “PITCHER” and a caricature of a left-handed baseball pitcher underneath. (His friend Zack wore the reciprocal “CATCHER” version.) As the chilly breezes took over, Bradley gave in to the elements and slipped on a gray jacket over the tank top.

But Bradley’s flexibility isn’t restricted to fashion. He makes good use of his lithe build and athletic skills as a diver on the Towson University Tigers swimming and diving team, and quite an accomplished one at that.

Bradley Bolin, who will be celebrating his 21st birthday in May, began his diving exploits five years ago in California at the end of his sophomore year in high school. He graduated as sixth in his high school region. In his freshman year at Towson University he was Rookie of the Year for his team, Rookie Diver of the Year in his conference, and Rookie Athlete of the Year for the entire school.

He also was named the Colonial Athletic Association Diver of the Week award this past November with wins in the 1- and 3-meter springboard events. It marked the first such honor for the Towson men’s team of the season.

Unlike many collegiate athletes who happen to be gay, and unlike his hero, Olympic diving champion Greg Louganis who was in the closet during the time he was competing, Bradley is out and proud. And not only is he openly gay, he is vigorously trying to pursue equal rights for all members of the LGBT community.

“I began being an ‘activist’ when I helped start the Gay-Straight Alliance in my first high school in Fairbanks, Alaska, my freshman year,” he points out. “Although in my mind I wasn't being an ‘activist’ I was just trying to create a safe space for LGBT students and perhaps make my school feel like a safer, more accepting place.”

When he moved to Southern California following his sophomore year, he attended another high school that did not have a GSA. So he launched one there as well.

“I think I was more politically ‘active’ when I moved to California because that is when I started doing more off-campus outreach. I helped coordinate the LA AIDS Walk during my junior and senior years. But all four years I participated in the Day of Silence by turning my body into a piece of walking art and refused to speak on behalf of all of those who have been silenced.”

He wasn’t silenced during the anti-Westboro Church demonstration. His experiences with trying to establish a GSA at his high schools set the stage for his presence and support for the students at Towson High School. “Now that I’m in college I want to show my support for the youth and try to do something that’s right,” he says with passion.

The junior, political science-economics double major is out to his diving teammates and to the whole school for that matter. This has historically been a dicey decision for LGBT collegiate athletes and one where few have shown such courage. Undaunted, Bradley Bolin, who is the secretary of Towson University’s Queer Student Union, has taken the plunge, so to speak, and had no such qualms about being himself.

“I couldn't ask for a more supportive team,” he says, acknowledging that nobody on the team, male and female, cares that he’s gay. “They see me as ‘Bradley the diver,’ not ‘Bradley the gay.’” He has one other teammate who is openly gay.

However, Bradley explains that there have been a few instances where people have made ignorant comments, but usually people quickly rally to his defense if he doesn’t get to the insulting party first!

“Granted I am not only out but I am one of the more visible people on the team simply based on my personality and I kind of stick out like a sore thumb,” Bradley admits.

He rejects the stereotype about swimming and diving teams’ being gay. “Most of the team just think it is funny/stupid that people assume that the whole team has queer tendencies just because of me.”

Bradley states that being on the diving team is like being part of a family, and he credits his coaching staff for fostering such an accepting environment. In fact, his coach, Maureen Mead, recruited him to come to Maryland.

Coach Mead says she is lucky Bradley chose Towson out of all the schools he could have picked. “He is an unbelievably, talented diver and team member,” she explains. “Even when he was a younger member of the team he acted as a mentor to his teammates.”

Bradley points out, “Our coaching staff does a great job by enforcing the idea of team unity, and I think that is a huge factor in how great our team supports each other. Plus, people on our team are judged by their merits and actions, not their sexuality.”

Nonetheless, Bradley still encounters the occasional “that’s so gay” and “fag” during conversations. But he points out that generally people catch themselves and apologize “profusely.”

“This irritates me a little because I wonder whether or not they are just apologizing because I am around or because they are genuinely sorry.” He is sincerely concerned about the effects of such remarks have on others.

“I am secure with myself enough to know that I am a good person, but the people who aren't out are the ones I worry for,” Bradley asserts. “I worry that when those people hear such negative words coming from people, especially their friends, they are going to continue to think that something is wrong with them. I don't fight against hate for myself, I fight against hate for those who cannot fight for themselves.”

It is that team-first attitude, whether it be in or out of the pool, that has characterized Bradley Bolin’s young but fulfilling life. As such, he rates high marks just like his frequent rip entries into the water below.

Lousy Leadership Marginalizes GOP

2009-04-09T11:22:00.004-04:00

Letter Published in the

April 9 Issue of the Baltimore Sun

Paul West is suggesting that the luster may be coming off the Democratic Party and that the GOP could be making a comeback so soon after the 2008 election ("Washington watches for the Democratic tide to start ebbing," April 4).

In doing so, West ignores the fact that polls continue to show that party affiliation strongly favors the Democrats and the same could be said about the effectiveness of fundraising efforts.

Moreover, and perhaps more importantly, the trend for young voters continues to move towards the Democratic Party, which solidifies their election chances for years to come.

And one cannot brush off the lack of leadership within the Republican Party as West appears to have done. After eight years of Bush-Cheney at the helm, the GOP is frantically searching for a leader that can appeal to voters beyond the Southern and evangelical base. So far, no one with those credentials has emerged.

Steve Charing

Clarksville, MD

Youth Are Showing Us the Way

2009-04-04T21:03:00.005-04:00

By Steve Charing

The burst of energy displayed by the young people who participated in the protest of the homophobic, Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church on March 30 was breathtaking. They demonstrated against the Fred Phelps-led hatemongers who had marked Towson High School for its Diversity Club and Gay-Straight Alliance. Phelps, himself, was absent, but a handful of his family members brandishing absurd, hate-filled slogans on their familiar placards did the deed.

Aside from students from the targeted school, kids from other high schools in the area as well as local colleges voiced their opposition to hate. And they did it loud and clear. Even straight "jocks" from Towson High School—a group that in years past wouldn’t ordinarily be expected to join forces with the pro-LGBT demonstrators—supported the cause openly.

While other groups participated, such as PFLAG, church organizations and an assortment of adults bent on social justice, the youth stole the show. They enthusiastically cheered at each passing car that honked its horn in support. They shouted down the Westboro clan on the other side of York Road. They publicly voiced their opposition against hate and expressed their affirmation towards love and equality. They support gay rights in all forms and did so with fervor.

All told, around 300 people overwhelmed the 6 Westboro crazies both in numbers and passion.

Back in November, there was a nationwide protest of the passage of Proposition 8 in California. Locally, a thousand people gathered outside Baltimore’s City Hall on a rain-threatened Saturday to plea for marriage equality and express their outrage aimed at the California results (photo).

There were many adults there to be sure, and a significant number of them were straight allies. But there were also plenty of college students who descended upon the War Memorial Plaza in clusters from all directions like an invading army. Waving colorful hand-made posters displaying pointed messages, these youthful protestors surprised even veterans of demonstrations of yore with their verve and commitment.

The center of gravity for LGBT politics and activism is steadily shifting to the youth. This is not just manifested by the increasing number of young LGBT people who are coming out at a faster rate than in previous generations. It has been bolstered by an astounding number of youth who simply shrug off the existence of LGBT people as no big deal.

Although much of these changing attitudes by straight youth can be attributed to their expanding exposure to lgbt peers, the more welcoming culture with which these people are in tune, reinforces their beliefs. For example, the role MTV has played for the past two decades in enlightening the youth of this country concerning LGBT issues cannot be understated.

The network’s programs routinely depict LGBT youth as ordinary people with the same family, social, economic and psychological issues facing all teenagers. This season’s run of Real World was so well done, that in the show’s later episodes, it was difficult to notice that the "house" included a gay man, a bisexual woman and a transgendered woman living with five straight peers.

The gay element eventually played a subordinate role when other weighty matters took over, like how one of the cast members was facing an uncertain future as he was recalled for another tour of duty in Iraq.

As the episodes rolled along each week, the ultimate conflicts weren’t between gay and straight and straight and transgender or even gay and transgender; they existed among each other regardless of who they were. Gay, bisexual, transgender? Oh yeah, so what.

This is the attitude that is prevailing among young people today. A straight kid may argue with a gay kid, but odds are, it has nothing to do with sexuality. Conflicts centered on sexual orientation do exist, of course, but to a lesser degree.

Of course, there still are incidents of bullying and epithets like "that’s so gay" in schools. But the trend is definitely moving in a favorable direction.

Politicians would be smart to take notice of these shifting attitudes. The youth have been swelling the voter ranks and affecting elections. The Obama phenomenon brought more young people into the political process than any time since the 1960’s.

Elected officials who experience trepidation about supporting equality based on gender identity or are skittish about conferring rights to same-sex couples are doing so at their peril. The old-time attitudes are dying off. The new generation of kids—gay and straight—will show us the way and those backward-thinking politicians the door.

Hundreds Protest Anti-gay Church

2009-04-02T10:51:00.004-04:00

By Steve Charing

TOWSON, MD—An hour before the planned protest by representatives of the Westboro Baptist Church on March 30, there was relative quiet. An occasional airplane flew overhead, and the sound of the chilly wind gusts whipping through the leafless branches of the trees that surround Towson High School briefly interrupted the serenity.

The thousand or so students at the 60 year-old, brick and stone, 3-story structure were still in their classes anticipating the final bell. But it was not a normal school day on this particular Monday.

Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, which is notorious for its anti-gay, anti-American vitriol and led by its patriarch flame-thrower, Fred Phelps, chose Towson High School to unleash its toxic venom.

The extremist group targeted this school because, like so many other schools around the country, it has a gay-straight alliance or GSA. It also boasts a diversity club, and a website that emphasizes tolerance and diversity as part of the school’s mission statement.

When officials at Towson High learned of the impending Westboro protest, the school sought to minimize the students’ exposure to the predicted taunts and insults shouted at them by the extremists. School officials prepared the students and parents with a letter. Club meetings and sports practices were rearranged so that as many students as possible would not exit the building at the time of the Westboro demonstration.

Moreover, Baltimore County police were in full force and did not permit any demonstration within a few blocks of the school. The Westboro clan was forced to protest at the intersection of York Road and Hillside Avenue, so exiting students did not have to hear any rants that said they are doomed to hell and other such epithets.

In the meanwhile, counter-protests were being planned by a variety of groups. Among those were the Central Baltimore County Democratic Club, the new Baltimore County chapter of PFLAG, Bel Air Unitarian and The Presbytery of Baltimore.

In addition, area schools, such as Towson High School, Dulaney, Carver, and Friends School, as well as Towson University and Goucher College mobilized anti-hate demonstrators to protest the Westboro demonstration.

The six weary-looking Westboro bunch did their thing for over a half-hour. They paraded along the prescribed area carrying their usual assortment of scathing messages on sticks while under the watchful eyes of the police and Silent Witness—a group carrying rainbow umbrellas—who also acted as a peaceful buffer.

The pro-LGBT crowd on the other side of York Road was building with each passing minute. Many carried hand-made signs decrying hate and advocating unity and love. Students from nearby Towson University, an assortment of religious groups and curious onlookers joined the ranks and signaled their support for the anti-Westboro demonstrators. They lined the side of the road, for at least a two-block length.

This is what the Westboro group wanted: a reaction so strong that the media would cover it and give attention to their unpopular cause.

Marilyn, a member of PFLAG-Baltimore County who has a gay family member, hopes that the overwhelming opposition to the Westboro clan would help get rid of them. "Goodness, I hope that we are able to drive groups like this away from our whole country," she said. "We have to be here to respond to their hate. It’s evil, and we don’t want people to hear their message."

With each passing car that honked its horn in support of the counter-demonstrators on busy York Road, and there were scores of them, the mainly young crowd cheered loudly.

Bradley Bolin, the secretary of the Towson University Queer Student Union and a junior, was emboldened by the turnout. He mentioned that when he was in high school and he tried to start a GSA, he didn’t receive the level of support he would have liked from the community and local colleges. "Now that I’m in college I want to show my support for the youth and try to do something that’s right."

Bradley acknowledged that anti-protests give Westboro Baptist Church what they want. "I’m not concerned with what they want. I’m more concerned about the youth and what THEY want," he explained. "I want to stand up for the people who can’t fight by themselves."

As the Westboro group was nearing the end of their allotted time, amidst the honking horns and competing chants, a surge of Towson High School students eventually showed up following dismissal. These new forces swelled the crowd to near 300 according to some estimates.

"They [Westboro Baptist Church] have the right to protest," said Charlie, a senior at the school and is straight. "But nobody in the school supports their beliefs."

Joey, a straight junior at the school supports gay people and opposes those who spread hatred. Mike, also a junior and a member of the school’s wrestling team, says he has gay friends, and several of his fellow teammates joined in the counter-demonstration.

Another Towson High student Beth said "I don’t care what sex you like, everybody is equal and God loves everybody."

Hannah, who is also straight, says "Love is beautiful, and I don’t think anyone should protest against it. I knew there would be so many protesters on our side, but not their side."

And that certainly was the case on this otherwise chilly, quiet Monday.

A Thousand Times, No!

2009-03-27T10:17:00.004-04:00

It is clear why the Republican Party has diminished to the extent it has. Even when they had bad ideas (which is most of the time) they at least had ideas!

Now, shell-shocked by two consecutive disasterous election cycles, they are floundering, leaderless and lost; their main playbook consists of the unpatriotic hope for President Obama to fail (Limbaugh, Jindal and the like) and just saying "no" to everything, regardless of merit. The "Party of No" indeed.

No to the stimulus. No to the bailouts. No to Obama's budget. No to common sense.

Alternatives? Hmm. No!

Yesterday, the GOP was to roll out an alternative budget. April Fools Day showed up a week early. Sorry, no numbers, just a "blueprint." The "deer in the headlights" look of Rep. John Boehner when asked by a correspondent from the conservative National Review where the details were was telling. The confused, irritated and vapid reponse by Boehner symbolized exactly the state of the GOP.

A promised alternative budget with no numbers, projections, trends, charts is incredible. Just typical GOP ideological bunk about smaller government: tax cuts, deficits, etc. Except for the tax cuts for the wealthy, these principles were no-shows over the past eight years.

As long as they continue to become a laughing stock, with these PR snafus, Joe the Plumber positing on economic policy, and with Michael Steele at the helm of the RNC, the GOP will remain the Party of No-- to voters.

Window of Opportunity

2009-03-24T23:01:00.000-04:00

As the GOP reels, the time to secure LGBT rights is sooner rather than later.

By Steve Charing

Much has been debated recently among LGBT activists regarding the timing of pro-LGBT initiatives that can be undertaken by the Democratic-controlled Congress and an ostensibly gay-friendly president.

Should President Barack Obama expend political capital now, while he’s popular, to pursue key LGBT legislation? Or, should he defer these bold, challenging moves until he accumulates a larger cache of IOUs?

Such measures would entail a repeal of "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" and the Defense of Marriage Act. It would also involve a push for an all-inclusive federal employment non-discrimination legislation (ENDA) and adding sexual orientation and gender identity to a comprehensive hate crimes bill.

Right now, the president remains popular with polls generally indicating that 60 to 70 percent of the American people approve of his job performance. They also, by large numbers, have a great deal of confidence in Mr. Obama despite his rocky first two months in office highlighted by a sinking economy and his desire to spend its way out of the muck.

Couple that with the unabated plunging of the Republican Party. The GOP is essentially leaderless and bankrupt of any ideas. They are losing the PR war by being effectively (and accurately) portrayed as the "Party of No." There have been dust-ups between recently elected Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele and the blustery but influential radio blowhard, Rush Limbaugh, as well as other key players within the party.

People around the U.S. and the world, for that matter, cringe at the nightmarish notion that if fortunes were reversed, John McCain would be floundering in an attempt to figure the way out of the economic morass. Sarah Palin, as vice-president, would be supervising an economic stimulus to nowhere with a chronic chorus of "Thanks, but no thanks." And the Secretary of the Treasury would be none other than the potential Nobel Prize winner in Economics (in his mind, at least) Joe the Plumber. Yikes!

It’s no wonder the good folks of America will continue provide President Obama with a very long leash to see this mess through. He has already accumulated a ton of good will, as evidenced by the gaudy poll results. And the alternative is downright frightening.

However, if history has taught us anything, nothing lasts forever. Mr. Obama could stumble as the economy tumbles more. He could be accused of allowing "bonus-gate" to erode an already low trajectory for consumer confidence. There could be an international crisis—somewhere, anywhere. Patience could easily wear thin. Joe Biden, God love him, could stand before a bank of microphones. Anything can happen that could derail this presidency.

That is why I conclude that the President and Congress should act swiftly on these LGBT initiatives. Indeed, a bill has been introduced in Congress by Rep. Ellen Tauscher (D-CA) to repeal "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell." Moreover, a lawsuit by Major Margaret Witt is challenging the Air Force's attempt to discharge her under the policy. Observers see this as the rubber meeting the road for the President; he must weigh in on the issue now, as events will have forced his hand.

Barack Obama has promised support for the other key lgbt issues during his campaign, and we should be confident he will come through for us. He started off on the right foot by agreeing to formally endorse a United Nations declaration calling for an end to discrimination and other human rights abuses based on sexual orientation and gender identity. The action reversed President Bush’s refusal to sign off on the statement—the only Western country not to do so.

The President’s sway in Congress will, of course, be determined not just by poll numbers, but also by his ability to build consensus within the Democratic Party and reach across the aisle.
President Obama has already demonstrated that he can walk and chew gum at the same time.

While the economy is and should remain on the front burner, the President has delved into other issues that he sees as major components of his agenda, such as energy, health care and education.

That effort should continue with the LGBT matters that have been languishing in Congress for years, and in some cases, decades. Fear of being perceived as pro-gay has handcuffed many in Congress for too long.

This is a new day in America, however. We have a popular, compassionate and intelligent President who doesn’t flinch at accepting responsibility unlike his horrific predecessor.

Surveys continue to show increasing support for LGBT rights, especially in employment and in the military, so Congress ought to "man up" for a change and take on these important LGBT initiatives.

And Mr. Obama should use his current positive standing with the American people to promote and support LGBT non-discrimination now because who knows how long the window of opportunity will remain open?

Report Says Gays, Lesbians Poorer than Straights

2009-03-23T23:06:00.006-04:00

By Steve Charing

Dispelling the myth that gays and lesbians are more affluent than the general population, a report issued on March 20 by the UCLA School of Law’s Williams Institute asserts that the opposite is true.

The study undertaken by the LGBT-focused think-tank found that after "adjusting for a range of family characteristics that help explain poverty," same-sex couples are "significantly" more likely to be poor than opposite-sex married couples.

"We find clear evidence that poverty is at least as common in the lesbian, gay and bisexual population as among heterosexual people and their families." This refutes "a popular stereotype (that) paints lesbians and gay men as an affluent elite," according to the study’s report.

The Williams Institute compiled their findings by reviewing data from the 2000 U.S. Census and two smaller surveys that included questions on sexual orientation. It is the first comprehensive study to analyze poverty among gay and lesbian couples.

This report, titled "Poverty in the Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Community," does not cover transgender individuals because they could not be identified from the data reviewed. Nonetheless, at least eleven previous studies concluded that transgender people, who face significant job discrimination, are more likely to have very low income.

The study’s findings pre-date the current recession and conclude that: 1) lesbian couples have much higher poverty rates than either different-sex couples or gay male couples; 2) children in gay and lesbian couple households have poverty rates twice those of children in heterosexual married couple households; and 3) within the LGB population, several groups are much more likely to be poor than others. African-American people in same-sex couples and same-sex couples who live in rural areas are much more likely to be poor than white or urban same-sex couples.

Moreover, the study finds that while a small percentage of all families receive government cash supports intended for poor and low-income families, gay and lesbian individuals and couples are more likely to receive these supports than are heterosexuals since they tend to lack spousal benefits.

Children of same-sex couples do not fare well either. "While one in ten children of married couples are poor, one in five children living with a same-sex couple are living below the poverty level," says the report.

Among the reasons for the higher poverty levels among LGBT couples cited by the Williams Institute are: 1) LGBT vulnerability to employment discrimination, with no legal recourse in most states; 2) most same-sex couples are shut out of some institutions that enhance the economic position of families, such as marriage; 3) lesbian, gay, and bisexual people are more likely than heterosexuals to lack health insurance coverage, making them vulnerable to the economic consequences of a health crisis; 4) LGBT families are less likely to receive family support, which could translate into greater economic vulnerability; and 5) family conflict about coming out and violence in group homes results in high rates of homelessness for young LGBT people.

To help alleviate poverty among the LGBT population, the report recommends passage of ENDA—the Federal Employment Non-discrimination Act, granting of the right to marry or at least to a "meaningful legal status" like civil unions, and to shore up "holes" in the safety net.

"The misleading myth of affluence steers policymakers, community organizations, service providers, and the media away from fully understanding poverty among LGBT people or even imagining that poor LGBT people exist," the report states.

To read the full report, visit www.law.ucla.edu/williamsinstitute/home.html.

Guerilla Gay Bar Baltimore Rocks On

2009-03-10T10:17:00.009-04:00

By Steve Charing

It was certainly peaceful as far as invasions go. Around 8:00 p.m. on March 6 there was a handful of gay men clustered together sipping drinks inside Luckie’s Tavern—which is located in Power Plant Live! on Market Place in Baltimore— checking out the entrance to see who else walks through.

As the minutes and hours passed and the beats to rock and 80’s pop tunes permeated in the background, that handful of people evolved into a small crowd, and eventually swelled to over 400 mostly gay men and some women who "invaded" the space normally frequented by straight twenty- and thirtysomethings on a rockin’ Friday night.

What was taking place was the fifth monthly installment of the rapidly growing Guerilla Gay Bar Baltimore phenomenon. Founders of this movement, Byron McFarlane, 25, of Ellicott City and Mark Yost, 28, of Mt. Vernon, (pictured) believed that Baltimore needed an alternative to the conventional bar scene.

"Washington, D.C. has a very large, active, gay community and for gay men and women who are really into the nightlife there are tons of options, including their own Guerrilla Queer Bar," noted McFarlane. That was among several similar groups that sprung up around the country.

"Mark and I always wanted to go to the D.C. gathering, but at one point we just said to each other, ‘Why don't we start one here?’ So the outlet is for everyone who doesn't want to drive an hour to Washington or go to the same old bars in Mt. Vernon," says McFarlane.

Despite the GGBB’s new logo, which depicts a militaristic-looking clenched fist on a bottle cap, both Yost and McFarlane insist that the "guerilla" aspect of GGBB is not an "in-your-face" activity nor are they trying to be confrontational. In fact, the bars that are selected are notified of the invasion and prepare for the volume of additional patrons. The logo is displayed on a sticker that is handed out to all the "invaders" for easy identification as part of the group.

"Our primary goal is to have a good time, but along with that is interacting with crowds many of us don't see very often," says McFarlane.

He adds, "Going to an identifiable gay bar versus a straight bar is different for some people because they aren't really interested in an exclusively gay environment. Others, because they don't have many or any gay friends and prefer to hang out with their straight friends at a straight bar."

Yost sees this as an opportunity to improve the social life in Baltimore but also to expand our exposure to other aspects of the city. "We are trying to help bring a new outlet for socializing to the gay community and also help the gay community experience more of Baltimore together," he says. "There is a benefit of doing it in a large group. Simply put, we may visit these bars, but it’s much easier to be yourself, in a larger group."

And what a large group it is!

The first GGBB event took place in November at Claddagh Pub in Canton and drew about 100. In December they attracted 175 at Mother’s in Federal Hill. Max’s in Fells Point drew 250 as the movement was starting to really catch on. And January’s event saw a stunning throng of over 400 pack Mt. Washington Tavern. A similar number showed up at Luckie’s Tavern.

The basic idea is that people sign up through Facebook and are notified a few days in advance of an announced date of the upcoming invasion of the straight bar.

For Scot Shaffer, his visit to Luckie’s Tavern marked his third GGBB appearance. A bartender at the Hippo, Scot likes the mix of the crowd. "There are different groups of gay people from all over the area, and I love the music," he says.

Another patron, Michael, 25, from Mt. Washington wanted a non-gay bar setting where it’s more relaxing for him. "I don’t have to worry so much about people hitting on me." He brought his straight friend Rachel who also enjoys the atmosphere and just wants to have a great time.
"What is great about this group is that there are lots of gay men and women who don't feel comfortable at gay bars, whether because they are not out or because it just isn't their thing," Byron McFarlane explains.

What about the straight patrons?

Stacie was sitting at a table at Luckie’s with several other straight friends and seemed oblivious to the gay invasion. When told, Stacie chuckled and said, "No wonder there are so many guys here." Her friend Ross of Mt. Washington said it was a cool idea and it certainly did not bother him one bit. Tom, 27, another straight man concurred. "Hey, we’re all here to have some drinks and enjoy ourselves."

"The bartenders, owners, and patrons have been at least accepting, and at best excited to have us," observed McFarlane.

The lack of backlash is noteworthy as GGBB continues to thrive. Mixing peacefully with straight people shows that maybe we’re not to be feared and could help us politically down the road. Says Mark Yost, "The more out we are, the harder it is to demonize our community and make us ‘others.’ I truly believe the greatest strides we will make as a community towards equal rights and acceptance will be from being ourselves, out in the straight world."

The next invasion is set for April 3. For more information about the group, visit http://www.ggb-baltimore.com/

Coping with the Recession

2009-03-06T09:04:00.006-05:00

LGBT groups and other non-profits are finding ways to survive the economic downturn

By Steve Charing

These are grim times for everybody. Even if you haven’t been laid off or may not be handed the pink slip in the future, you most likely lost a third to a half of your "wealth" since October if you had money tied up in equities and bonds. Confidence is waning; credit is scarce; money is tight.

In this down economy people will spend on what they truly need or want, and everything else will be deferred until their economic circumstances improve. The same goes for businesses, who must cut costs, as there are fewer customers and of those, they are spending less to purchase their products or services. Cutting costs often entails cutting payroll, and with more people laid off, there are fewer customers and less money to be spent. It’s a vicious cycle.

Consequently, charitable and other non-profit organizations, including lgbt organizations, are likely to feel the pinch in the near future. Those individuals who are in financial straits now or fear such a condition are less likely to donate money to these organizations, and businesses will also hold on to their checkbooks.

As in the case of businesses, non-profit organizations depend on a revenue stream for survival. When revenue targets substantially fall short, they may be compelled to cut staff, cut back in advertising, cut programs and spend less on areas that support their mission.

Fortunately, some local organizations are bracing for the economic slide and have been addressing these challenges. They are actively trying to develop strategies to mitigate the economic pain caused by the recession.

"Like everyone we are concerned about the economic downturn and watching for its effects on Chase Brexton and our patients," says David Shippee, Chief Executive Officer of Chase Brexton Health Services, which maintains several offices and clinics in and around Baltimore. "But the bottom line at CBHS is stable and still in the black, in part, because of our long-standing efforts to assure that our sources of revenue are as diverse as possible."

He points out, however, that there has been a noticeable drop-off in individual and corporate giving. "Most recently as we prepare for our annual CBHS gala we are struggling to get corporate support for the event to come close to the levels we experienced in prior years," notes Shippee.

He states that the economic stimulus package includes some funding for healthcare, but also Obama’s initial budget contains increases for HIV/AIDS care through the Ryan White program and also increased funds going to community health centers to care for the uninsured.

"Although these sources only account for 15% of CBHS's revenue, it is hopeful to know that some relief may be likely in this area. It is too soon to determine how much additional support may be coming our way under these two programs."

Shippee explains that increased public or private dollars to help care for the uninsured becomes even more important in a recession. As more people lose jobs, they also lose their health insurance. Many of them turn to community health centers for care. "In the last year, we have seen a 54% increase in the number of uninsured patients being helped by CBHS. Other health centers in Maryland are also seeing an increase in uninsured patient visits, but their average increase is 20%."

The statewide LGBT civil rights advocacy organization Equality Maryland has not yet felt any adverse impact from the national recession. But they are mindful of it and concerned about potential decreased funding.

Equality Maryland regularly holds two major fundraisers during the course of the year, with the next one being the "Night Out for Equality" on June 7. Their planning committee is looking into ways to attract more supporters.

"We're hosting more low cost ticket events, like Equality Rocks!" says new director of development Kevin Walling. "This past January was a fantastic success both financially and in terms of reaching out to new members. House parties, smaller receptions and member-sponsored events are already in the works for the spring and summer."

Walling said he is open to any suggestions and welcomes more people to get involved. You may call him at 301-587-7500 or e-mail kevin@equalitymaryland.org.

Some of these efforts are paying off. A benefit for Equality Maryland as part of "An Evening with Lily Tomlin" at the Lyric Opera House on April 3 has been sold out. It will include an Equality Maryland-only reception with the headliner being part of the festivities.

Unfortunately, not all LGBT organizations are faring as well, especially some national ones. According to reports in the Washington Blade, several have been forced to take measures to deal with the slowing down of donations. For example, Lambda Legal and GLAAD are among those who needed to cut staff and other costs.

And the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lgbt advocacy group, was reported to be considering trimming salaries and holding back a cost-of-living increase this year for some employees to help deal with the economic downturn. Phone calls by OUTloud to HRC to obtain a comment were not returned.

The power of fundraising should not be underestimated even in turbulent economic times. Last month the producers of "Wicked" and 4Good Productions held a star-studded "Defying Inequality Concert" at New York’s George Gershwin Theater that attracted over 400 performers and celebrities. The event raised a whopping $400,000, of which $250,000 were donated by the producers and writers of "Wicked."

The stars included Carson Kressley, Harvey Fierstein, Cyndi Lauper, Sally Struthers, Rue McClanahan, "Wicked" composer Stephen Schwartz, Jane Fonda and Keith Olbermann. Cast members from Broadway's "Spring Awakening," "Billy Elliott," "The Lion King," "Mamma Mia," "Gypsy," among others, also performed.

The organizations that benefited from the fundraiser were the Empire State Pride Agenda, Family Equality Council, the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task Force, Equality California and Garden State Equality.

The results from this gala and Equality Maryland’s Lily Tomlin event demonstrate that even with a down economy, the stars still shine and people will pay to see them.

O'Malley's March

2009-03-06T01:09:00.006-05:00

The Governor expends political capital demonstrating on behalf of convicted murders. Would he ever march for LGBT equality?

By Steve Charing

When I viewed the peculiar news footage that depicted Governor Martin O’Malley marching down West Street in Annapolis with others in his quest to end the death penalty, I was taken aback. My reaction was, O’Malley is protesting the death penalty in such a public way, but we can’t even get him to commit on same-sex marriage rights for Maryland’s gay and lesbian couples or on transgender protections.

The governor has seen his approval numbers fade since his election victory in 2006. He has had to face serious budget and economic issues where no matter which course of action he decided on, he was roundly criticized. This takes a toll on popularity and hence political capital, and the governor has little left to spend at this point.

But during the current General Assembly, Governor O’Malley made a decision that whatever political capital he has remaining, he was going to use it on repealing the death penalty. He cites his Catholic faith as the basis for his passionate effort to close down the death chamber in Maryland once and for all.

This is not a bad cause to be sure. I had once supported the death penalty believing it as a way to prevent repeat offenders. But I saw the inequities in its application and the potential deadly inaccuracies. And my views on the issue were cemented after reading John Grisham's The Chamber.

Despite Governor O’Malley’s public advocacy for repealing the death penalty, the Senate’s Judicial Proceedings Committee killed the measure. That normally puts the kibosh on the initiative right then and there for the current session. However, Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller eschewed the procedural protocol and decided to send the bill to the Senate floor for a full vote in deference to Mr. O’Malley’s office.

Of course, Mike Miller, who supports capital punishment, counted the votes in advance and is fully aware that complete repeal won’t pass the Senate. But this grand gesture, disingenuous as it appears, proves that if the governor takes a strong stand on a measure, it might, with help from the mega-powerful Senate president, bypass the usual customs and allow it to come up for a vote by the full Senate.

Contrast the governor’s high profile efforts to repeal the death penalty with his reticence on the major LGBT issues, especially same-sex marriage. Gay activists who overwhelmingly supported Mr. O’Malley’s election bid with votes and cash have been stymied by the governor’s avoidance of the hot-button issue.

Governor O’Malley got off on the wrong foot when immediately following the state’s Appeals Court ruling in September 2007 that upheld the current marriage laws defining marriage as between one man and one woman, he stated on television that "no one should redefine the sacraments."

Many activists, including some of the plaintiffs in the original lawsuit, were rankled by those remarks noting that he clearly knew what was being sought was civil recognition, not religious blessings. Others were miffed at his apparent backtracking of his position since 2004 when he allegedly supported same-sex marriage.

During the 2008 General Assembly, the governor was virtually invisible when the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act was introduced. The framework of the bill made it clear, mainly to address concerns of the governor and legislators, that civil marriage equality was the goal and that no religious institution would be forced to officiate any marriage ceremony with which they do not agree.

Even with 49 sponsors in tow and the religious concerns ostensibly addressed, the bill died in the Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee. The governor could have made a difference had he chosen to support the measure in earnest.

Governor O’Malley stated during the session that he would sign a civil union bill if one came across his desk. But Equality Maryland, the state’s largest LGBT civil rights organization, decided such a route would be unacceptable and pushed for full marriage equality instead.

Moreover, the governor has yet to publicly offer his support for the Transgender Anti-Discrimination bill, which would add gender identity to existing state law prohibiting discrimination in employment, housing, public accommodations and credit. As mayor of Baltimore, O’Malley signed a similar law in December 2002.

A march down Annapolis streets by Martin O’Malley to support marriage equality and transgender protections is a dream that is unlikely to materialize. Even a surprise visit to the Lobby Day rally last month where he could have addressed the crowd in front of the media on these important civil right issues was do-able and would have been extraordinary.

Former Governor Parris N. Glendening used the political capital he received from his 10-point re-election margin and pushed for legal protections for gays and lesbians. In 2001, he signed into law the historic bill that would prevent discrimination based on sexual orientation.

We were fortunate that Glendening used his political capital for our cause before it rapidly eroded. There doesn’t appear to be enough gas in the political tank for Martin O’Malley to lead both the death penalty fight and advance lgbt rights, not to mention addressing the economic havoc, which is devastating the state. He has already expended his dwindling political capital on behalf of saving the lives of convicted murderers.

To his credit, the governor recently stated his support for a domestic partnership bill for state employees. With other measures needing his backing, will that be enough to get the LGBT community to march with him to the polls?

Photo Credit: Baltimore Sun photo by Glenn Fawcett / February 25, 2009)

Bill to End ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Introduced

2009-03-04T10:49:00.004-05:00

Obama campaigned on its repeal. Will he actively engage?

by Steve Charing

March 2 marked another historic date in the ongoing struggle for lgbt equality. Rep. Ellen Tauscher (D-CA) introduced legislation to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to ensure that all qualified Americans can serve openly in the military regardless of sexual orientation.

"This law has failed our country and our military for 15 years," Rep. Tauscher (pictured) said in her announcement. "It harms military readiness and discriminates against patriotic young men and women who want to serve their country. It's time for Congress to right this wrong."

The Military Readiness Enhancement Act will replace the ban with a nondiscrimination policy that will make our military not just more fair, but also more effective, backers say.

Since the advent of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" 15 years ago, over 13,000 service members have been discharged. Many valuable Arabic linguists as well as other gay and lesbian service members holding "mission critical" jobs have been discharged as a result of the policy, which most Americans view as a failure. It's estimated that every year 3,000 men and women who want to enlist or re-enlist decide not to because of this law.

President Obama has stated his willingness to repeal the current policy. But will he make the same mistake as President Bill Clinton?

Following through on a campaign promise, in 1993 President Clinton tried to end the military ban on gays and lesbians through an executive order. But he was met with stiff opposition from the Joint Chiefs of Staff including chairman General Colin Powell, commanders in the field, and by members of Congress, led by Senator Sam Nunn a Georgia Democrat who chaired the Senate Armed Services Committee.

President Clinton did not enjoy a strong relationship with the military from the outset. He was perceived by many as a draft dodger during the Vietnam War and had done little to reach out to the military. That lack of credibility as commander-in-chief mobilized the anti-gay forces within the military.

The debate that ensued put Democrats on the defensive and divided the military between veterans and current service members. Social conservatives used the issue to bludgeon President Clinton and questioned his patriotism. As a result, it usurped President Clinton’s thin layer of political capital and forced him to eventually settle for the compromise legislation that has been in place since 1993.

Since that time, public attitudes as well as of those who served have shifted towards allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military. An ABC News-Washington Post poll conducted in July found increasing civilian acceptance of gays serving in the military. Seventy-five percent of Americans in the poll said gay people who are open about their sexual orientation should be allowed to serve in the military, up from 62 percent in early 2001 and 44 percent in 1993.

This past November in Annapolis, over 100 retired generals and admirals have called for the repeal of the policy. To bolster their position, studies have been conducted that show that openly gay service members do not negatively impact morale or unit cohesion.

"As is the case with Great Britain, Israel, and other nations that allow gays and lesbians to serve openly, our service members are professionals who are able to work together effectively despite differences in race, gender, religion, and sexuality," the officers wrote.

President Obama is in the midst of trying to help fix the economy, healthcare, energy dependence, education, fighting two wars, as well as other key priorities. Although he wants "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" to be repealed, he was more likely to make the push later in his term so that he can use his political capital to deal effectively with the current economic crisis. Moreover, he wants to build a consensus with the military brass, in particular, so that the repeal would be easier for Congress to swallow.

But the introduction of this bill could force the president into the spotlight on this issue—sooner than he had hoped—and will give Rush Limbaugh’s Republican Party another opportunity to mobilize the base.

Aubrey Sarvis, Executive Director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, is urging the lgbt community and allies to write their congressmen to have them co-sponsor the bill. The bill will go before a subcommittee of the House Armed Services Committee for a hearing.

How President Obama uses his leadership skills and spends his political capital may provide an insight on his commitment to gay rights in general. He didn’t want to fight this battle now, but it looks like he must.

The Slippery OUTfield

2009-02-22T11:35:00.005-05:00

A gay baseball player coming out would have to face tough challenges.

By Steve Charing

When the steroids scandal first hit major league baseball several years ago, I theorized it provided a convenient distraction for a gay player to finally come out. I had believed that cheating in a game that depends so much on tradition and integrity would overshadow any pesky disclosure that one of the players is gay. Or so I thought at the time.

I feel differently today.

No question, the steroids scandal is serious enough. Superstars Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens who are suspected of using steroids will most likely see their dreams of being admitted to baseball’s hallowed shrine—the Hall of Fame—dissipate.

But as long as a player in question didn’t lie to Congress or a law enforcement official, an apology here and an apology there would generally get the player off the hook, especially if he’s popular. Alex Rodriguez’s recent mea culpa tried to accomplish that even if he, too, could be spurned by the Hall of Fame voters.

Baltimore Orioles’ second baseman Brian Roberts is another good example. A couple of years ago he had been named in the Mitchell Report, which identified major league players who had allegedly taken steroids. Roberts apologized and insisted he made this mistake only once in 2003.

Brian Roberts is a favorite of fans as well as the team owner, Peter Angelos, for a variety of reasons. He is one of the premiere leadoff hitters in the game and a defensive stalwart. He works hard for charitable causes in the Baltimore community and is also easy on the eyes. Fans love him. Teammates love him. The owner loves him. He snagged a $40 million contract extension despite the steroids admission.

An active baseball player who publicly comes out that he’s gay would face greater challenges. My earlier opinion was that after a brief media circus surrounding the gay revelation, the hoopla would eventually fade away. For instance, if he was a good player, the fans and teammates might see past that and concentrate on team goals, as depicted in the Tony Award-winning play Take Me Out [see photo].

Although the general environment for gay acceptance is improving and the fact that each year several cities hold "gay days or gay nights" at major league ballparks, we’re not there yet. A gay ballplayer’s coming out may spark celebrations within the LGBT community and among progressive-minded folks, but that’s it.

More likely a firestorm from conservative religious organizations with their predictable sanctimony and threats of boycotts would ensue. "What examples are we setting for the children?" "Depravity has seeped into our American pastime."

This faux outrage could easily apply to the players embroiled in the steroid scandal, but nary a protest had been fired off by Focus on the Family, the Family Research Council or like-minded groups in that regard. You never hear them threaten boycotts when disclosures of adultery and criminal behavior surface among the major sports even though the Bible condemns those acts as well. To them, homosexuality is the bottom rung.

Besides the noisy clatter put forth by these groups, the gay ballplayer’s biggest hurdle is calming down a potentially hostile clubhouse. While it is likely that one teammate will stand before the bank of microphones and proclaim his loyalty to the gay player and extol the virtues of team unity and mission, the majority of the team will probably not be as embracing.

The issue is exacerbated by the fact there are many devout Christians in major league baseball (some have been steroids users) who see homosexuality as a sin. Added to that is the players’ fear of gays being in the same locker room.

Then there is the increasing number of Latino and Asian ballplayers in the major leagues. This is not to say that they are all homophobic or that American-born players are not. Yet the traditional macho-oriented cultures of these groups tend to revile homosexuality.

These challenges alone might keep a gay baseball player in the closet. But then there is the question of product endorsements and other financial considerations. Olympics hero Michael Phelps retained most of his endorsement deals but Kellogg’s dropped his contract as soon as the photo of Phelps’ smoking a bong flew around the world.

How would corporate America deal with a gay athlete? While many of the Fortune 500 companies have anti-discrimination policies for gays and lesbians as well as domestic partner benefits on the books, I imagine they will succumb to the threatened boycotts of the well-organized and well-financed conservative flame throwers and not offer endorsement deals.

The best hope for a gay ballplayer in coming out will rest with the fans. A gay player, especially one who is good at his craft and is popular, has a decent chance to be favorably received over time. Fans tend to be ahead of the players when it comes to social issues.

I suspect, however, the noise from the zealots and the fear of a dysfunctional locker room will keep the athlete secure in his closet for a while longer. We’ll just have to wait for a gay version of Jackie Robinson who can courageously negotiate the slippery terrain of the OUTfield.

Where's the Passion?

2009-02-10T00:55:00.006-05:00

Small Lobby Day turnout signals possible declining interest

By Steve Charing

On a balmy February 2, a crowd estimated by the Washington Blade to be 250 assembled at Lawyers Mall in Annapolis for a rally during Equality Maryland’s annual Lobby Day event. This compares unfavorably to the previous years when, according to Equality Maryland’s figures, approximately 500 attended in 2008 and nearly 1,000 did so in 2007.

What’s going on?

There are a number of factors that may have contributed to the paltry attendance. For one thing, Equality Maryland’s legislative agenda is not as ambitious as in previous sessions.

Realizing that same-sex marriage cannot pass during this session, there will not be a full-throated push for the legislation.

Instead, the goal is to work with legislators to increase sponsorship of the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act this year, according to statements made by new Equality Maryland Executive Director Kate Runyon. In addition, the organization will be pursuing once again passage of the Gender Identity and Expression Anti-Discrimination Act as well as other initiatives.

Another factor could be a general decline of interest. Following the Maryland Court of Appeals ruling, which upheld the state’s law that restricted marriage to be between one man and one woman, there was plenty of anger to go around and fire up the LGBT community as well as allies.

But lack of leadership from Governor Martin O’Malley on this issue and opposition by the powerful Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller may have dampened the spirits of many gay and lesbian couples. These couples may be of the mindset that it’s a lost cause for now.

Another factor for the disappointing crowd is the prevailing lack of interest in these issues and politics in general on the part of large segments of the LGBT community. There are approximately 15,000 same-sex couples throughout the state. Add to that the tens of thousands of unattached folks, family members and other straight allies. All told, this is a significant number of people to be reckoned with. And with the media present, it would have made a great picture of the mall jammed full of LGBT activists.

But they didn’t show up. As is the case in previous Lobby Day rallies, Baltimore City, which comprises the largest number of LGBT people in Maryland, was woefully underrepresented. The areas of Charles Village, Bolton Hill and Mount Vernon—strong gay population centers—never seem to turn out in large numbers. In fact, the majority of Lobby Day attendees hail from Montgomery, Prince George’s and Howard Counties.

One would think that the devastating passage of Proposition 8 in California would spur on more people to rally and meet with their respective delegates and senators. Apparently that did not happen in Annapolis this year—at least not with the numbers that would impress those persuadable legislators.

Weather cannot be used as an excuse this time around; the temperature was in the 50’s—fully 30 degrees warmer than at last year’s bone-chilling Lobby Day.

Immediately following the Prop 8 debacle, nearly a thousand people, mostly from the Baltimore area, managed to gather outside City Hall on five days notice in November to express their displeasure at Prop 8 as part of a national Join the Impact movement. There was a lot of passion at that event.

True, it was a Saturday as opposed to Lobby Day being on a Monday—a work day for most—but still. It only took five days by the organizers using Internet social networking sites to pull off such a huge crowd. Did Equality Maryland tap into the Join the Impact network?

Equality Maryland is not solely to blame for the lack of turnout at Lobby Day. The director is new but capable. The organization dutifully publicized the event in area LGBT papers, but it’s not their fault if people aren’t reading them.

There seems to be a persistent lack of involvement and leadership from certain Baltimore-based LGBT organizations to get the people out. Imagine if even a small percentage of Pride-goers turned up at Annapolis. Imagine the impression that would make on legislators that this community is vast and they care. The lawmakers may pay more attention.

Clearly, Equality Maryland will have to recognize that there are varying degrees of interest within the community and that stronger efforts are needed to spark more enthusiasm. Attempts to obtain a comment from Equality Maryland’s Kate Runyon were unsuccessful.

Those who did attend enjoyed the speech made by Bishop Gene Robinson. But there was criticism levied at the speakers’ not being visible because there was no riser or stage. And the sound system was not up to par.

Logistical issues have plagued Lobby Day rallies in the past and may have tamped down attendance. These are technical glitches that can easily be fixed in the future.

Following the rally, the attendees split up to visit and meet with their respective legislators. Some of these delegates and senators were welcoming, supportive and courteous. Others were plainly rude or ignorant, or they simply declined to meet with their constituents.

When people tell their personal stories to lawmakers and relate how the lack of protections affect LGBT families, it can be productive in educating these officials.

And a large crowd on the mall will signal a strong determination to succeed. Let’s hope we can get that passion back.

‘Boys Will Be Boys’ on Sizzling Atlantis Cruise

2009-02-08T12:21:00.011-05:00

By Steve Charing

After experiencing two straight cruises, my partner and I decided to try a "gay cruise" and signed up with the folks at Atlantis. Chartering the Royal Caribbean’s "Freedom of the Seas"—currently the largest cruise ship of all—Atlantis managed to jam some 3,600 passengers to sail for a week at the end of January that departed from Miami and covered the ports-of-call of Labadee (Haiti), San Juan and St. Maarten.

With a handful of exceptions, the passengers were all gay men, representing a vast array of ages, body types, and personalities, and they hailed from all over the U.S. and 24 foreign countries. Most were couples, but in many cases you would not know it.

The alleged incidents of sexual liaisons on the ship’s top deck in the wee hours of the morning and the "popularity" of the steam room adjacent to the gym made for colorful gossip and chatter. As a way of reinforcement, these activities were acknowledged and made light of by the two hilarious cruise directors and entertainers. In fact, most of the comedians on board included this phenomenon as part of their material.

Those who are still trying to secure marriage equality may feel discouraged by the fact that "boys will be boys" and wonder if gay men seriously want to make a lifelong commitment through marriage.

Putting that aside, the differences between a gay cruise and a straight cruise are as stark as say, being gay or straight. For example, on a straight cruise, a hot body on a man might be one in which his belly doesn’t protrude through his beater. On this cruise, there were several hundred who seemed to fall off the pages of fitness magazines and materialized into passengers. A large number of these donned Speedos sporting their own version of a stimulus package.

I haven’t seen so many six packs since my last visit to a liquor store. And not all of them were in their twenties. There were plenty of hard, ripped bodies shown off by men in their 40’s 50’s and yes, even 60’s, so take note.

To that point, on a straight cruise one can routinely enter the ship’s expansive gym and use the workout equipment without any delays. On this gay cruise, you’d almost have to make reservations just to enter it with so many gym bods on board. Indeed, it was fairly crowded even at 7 in the morning!

On a straight cruise there will be daily or nighttime dances and parties on the pool deck. And they can be fun. But please…do NOT attempt to compare them with these events on a gay cruise. OMG!

The "Dog Tag" party was smoking hot. You want gays in the military? Well here they were in their olive-colored garb with lots of flesh displayed. There was also a disco party with imaginative and colorful costumes to reflect the era. An undersea party took place in the indoor ice rink (that’s right, an ice rink) where it was so crowded and shirtless you were eventually doused by the sweat of all the men around.

And the crème de la crème of all parties: the notorious "White Party"—billed as the largest such event in the world. By the look of the exceptional and creative white costumes (well, a lot were just clad in tighty whities or less), one would think every big-name fashion designer was on board. To say the costumes were amazing is like saying the ocean is wet. And the soiree lasted until 11 the next morning (from what I was told!).

In all of these parties, the guest DJ’s were spectacular and kept the ship throbbing throughout the nights. Drinks flowed. Glistening bodies on display and gyrating to the relentless beats heard through the superb sound system.

Another distinction between a straight cruise and this one was the fact that upon embarking the ship at the outset, there was a drug-sniffing dog checking out each passenger. Some 20 were unfortunately caught and were arrested. Not only did they have to spend a night in a Miami jail facing possession charges; they lost their investment in the cruise. Ouch!

From what I heard the Atlantis organization filed a complaint with Royal Caribbean for "profiling" gay men. We’ll have to see where that goes.

On a straight cruise, you won’t normally see a thousand or more shrieking men jumping to their feet applauding the performances of a multiple Tony award winner as they did when Patti LuPone ("Evita," "Gypsy") gave a surprise concert. There was also a concert by openly gay Andy Bell, the front man for the 80’s group Erasure.

Gay and lesbian comics were all over the cruise. Ugly Betty’s Alec Mapa was outstanding. So was Comedy Central’s John David. Lesbian comic Poppy Champlin was polished and funny as all hell. The venerable Miss Richfield 1981 was her usual crazy self.

The ridiculously gorgeous TV personality Scott Nevins superbly entertained with comedy, impressions and song. He even had the chutzpah to trash Streisand as part of his act—on a gay cruise no less!

Two cute newcomers—the VGL Boys (Jeff Self and Cole Escola) tried their acts out. They had been billed as 21 year-olds, so predictably the youth-obsessed passengers packed the cabaret room to see them, even though the duo had no heretofore-known track record.

And then there was the ageless Charro who amazed everyone with her talent and endurance.

There were wonderful magic acts and piano and other musical performers. But my favorite of these was Matt Yee, a muumuu-clad, frenetic, exceptionally talented piano player/singer/comic whose audience resembled a cult. The Honolulu resident was the cult leader. Yee led them in frequent toasts, ordered the audience to denounce talkers in the group with expletives, and repeated the mantra over and over: "Asian men are huge!"

Straight cruises also provide outstanding entertainment, but with gay cruises there is a clear knowledge of the audience, and they target their acts accordingly. They definitely speak to the choir. And of course, both types of cruises offer abundant and tasteful food.

But the gay cruise has the bodies, the attitude, the parties and the campiness that will not be found on your bread and butter straight cruises.

All three of my cruises have been arranged by Cruise Planners.