The long road to medical school

I just realized

2008-07-25T06:03:00.002-04:00

I just figured out my call schedule for next block (the 2nd half of Medicine), and if I'm right, this last weekend was my LAST black weekend for the rotation.

WOOHOO!!!!

Of course now that I've discovered this, I'm sure something else will change.

But for now, I can do a little happy dance in my imagination.

Med School: Where "Fine" is the new "Terrible"

2008-07-24T15:05:00.006-04:00

A few months ago, my Epi advisor asked me how I was enjoying my Ob/Gyn rotation. My response was, "It's fine," in not even a negative tone of voice. The man practically fell on the floor in shock and horror. "It's THAT BAD???" he asked, incredulous. "What don't you like about it?"

I didn't know it at the time, but apparently "fine" when uttered by a medical student to a superior of any kind can be roughly translated as, "Horrible, I want to kill myself." This is because the uniform expectation that our superiors have of us is that we will gush about how wonderful every rotation we are on is. How fortunate we were to be permitted to disimpact Mrs. Jones, and how we are soooooooo lucky! To be able to retract for 11 hours even though we weren't able to see a damn thing during that whipple procedure.

I was reminded of this the other day when I ran into a 4th year who lives in my building. It was Monday morning I think. He asked me how I was. Still half asleep I muttered, "Ok." He laughed. "That good, eh."

I think when looking back over the year I'm going to have to take repeated long hard looks at when I was "fine" and when I was actually genuinely happy. The powers that be keep telling me not to choose a specialty on that basis -- to choose instead on what is "interesting" to me -- but I gotta tell you, for the rest of my life, "fine" just ain't gonna cut it. I don't care HOW interesting a field is in theory. *I'm* the one who actually has to practice it.

Otherwise, what's the point of all this anyway? I'm not in med school to martyr myself.

3 to go

2008-07-22T17:05:00.004-04:00

But on call tomorrow.... AHHHHHHH!!!!

Already.

It feels like I'm on call all the freaking time. I can only imagine how Q3 must feel.

Today was much better with the new team. It's amazing how having a job makes the day go by faster. And I feel like I may be beginning to learn something. The residents are still stellar.

Oh, and I also totally admit that my general malaise yesterday was due entirely to my discovery of my classmate's 3 consecutive golden weekends. It just made me feel. so. tired.

8 days straight

2008-07-21T17:41:00.005-04:00

Well the good news is: only 4 more days to go until I get a day off.

The bad news is: I found out the other medical student on my new service is getting 3 golden weekends in a row. Seems his team didn't think he should have to come in for call yesterday, and he doesn't have call again until Thursday.

When I heard this at 7:30 this morning, I literally felt like I was going to throw up. I mean, I'm not tired like the residents are tired, but I'm sure not as rested as I would be had I had a day off any time in the recent past.

What I said was: I am seethingly jealous of you.

He said: If it makes you feel better, I had to do an extra night of nightfloat on Ob/Gyn.

I said: That does make me feel better. I guess I'm a bad person. Why did they make you do five nights?

He said: Five? I did four nights.

I said: Um, that's what EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO DO.

And don't give me any of that, "You should only worry about yourself BS," either. We both know you would have thought the same thing in the same situation. Unless you are a sanctimonious bi-atch in which case I don't care what you think.*

To add insult to injury, our new attending only made eye contact with him during rounds, only spoke to him, only asked him questions. It was as though I wasn't there. And in case you're curious (and I know you are), I have a woman attending.**

And I basically spent my day waiting to watch procedures that never actually happened (the other med student got to try an LP too). But never was the gap of empty time long enough that I could get any studying done. Blegh. And need I remind you that I know nothing? Well, I feel like that anyway.

On the plus side, my residents are phenomenal, in particular the one I am paired up with. He did two teaching spiels with me today, which I think must be a record or something. And he is very nice. I think he will basically make these two weeks worth it no matter what else happens,*** he is that good.

Here's to having a better day tomorrow.

Also, I feel much better now.

*If you are a sanctimonious bi-atch and feel the need to leave a comment to that effect, please know that I will delete it.

**No, I don't think it was intentional. But note that I will LAUGH MY ASS OFF (possibly in her face) if I am later told by her that I need to speak up more. That truly would be a first.

***Please note that I say this now with limited experience as to "what else happens" could possibly entail.

Hell hath no fury

2008-07-20T14:51:00.005-04:00

So at the risk of bitching about someone who might eventually read this,* I thought I'd share a story of a consult I called last weekend when I was on call. I'll not share the details (i.e. what service, the problem, etc.) but I actually found the resolution to be kind of funny.

So I call the consult, per the request of my attending. It wasn't a "you have to come in off your weekend at-home-call ASAP" consult or anything. It was totally take-careable from afar. Which is all we wanted. Plus, we wanted the service to see our patient the following Monday.

So I get the on-call housestaff on the phone. Mind you, I call from a hospital phone -- not my own -- so the dude had to know where I was calling from. After picking up the call like it was his personal phone (no introduction, I had to ask if it was Dr. X, which he didn't respond to), he denies knowing who the patient is, so I go into the history. He cuts me off. I ALREADY KNOW all that, he says. WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?

We wanted to give you a status update, find out if you have any additional recommendations, and my attending asked me to have someone from your department see our patient tomorrow.

Oh. No.

Then I get a 5 minute lecture on how this problem is really basic. Where HE trained, the medicine service just TOOK CARE of these things. WHY was I calling him for a MEDICINE problem. I mean, he's new to our hospital and trying to figure out how things work around here, but WHERE HE TRAINED this sort of thing would never have happened.

I said, Well I'm new to this hospital too, and I am also trying to figure out how things work around here. And if he'd prefer to speak to my attending about it I would be happy to have her call him.

And then he demanded to know where *I* trained that I would make such a stupid** decision to request a consult for such a benign problem from his service. And that he had trained at FamouslyGinormousCrazy Hospital in [state].***

Well, I am currently a medical student at [my med school], I said. And I do what I'm told.

Oh.

Call us again tomorrow and we'll come by, he said. And then he hung up.

Fabulous.

I laughed. I think sometimes it's easier to get what you want from the grouchy ones when you're a wee lass medical student.

And at least he hadn't had me pegged as a student from the start of the conversation!

*Although considering that I don't even remember his name, I think it's probably a remote possibility.

**Ok technically he didn't actually use the word "stupid."

***If I had wanted to die, I could have said, "Oh, is that good?" I think it's funny just to ponder what his response might have been.

The Taming of the Shrew

2008-07-20T13:25:00.003-04:00

Irony: It's when you're told for the first time ever that you (if anything) need to work on being TOO nice, and to be a little more assertive.

That's a first! I guess my de-bitchifying has been working?

For the record, "assertive" has never been a good fit for me. I usually just come off bitchy and angry. Nice has been a lot more effective. People do what I ask. It is good.

Now I guess the big leap will be to..... ??

Professional?

Um? Yeah.

Please God,

2008-07-18T17:04:00.004-04:00

Don't make tomorrow's call day one in which I sit around doing nothing for 11 hours and then have to admit two patients between 7PM and 10PM. Please? Also, it would be nice that if I HAD an earlier admission if the patient actually remained in the hospital overnight so that I didn't have to stay even later in order to admit two more.....

Is that asking too much?

Also, I have gotten to the point at which I am beginning to despise lecture. Small PBLs in the hospital where we can participate are a different matter. I feel like I get a lot out of those. Big lectures with most of my class? No.

I am tired. I hope I'm not as tired tomorrow. Also, I would really like a beer right now.

So I am going to get one.

1 hour/day

2008-07-17T21:02:00.002-04:00

As third years, I hear we're supposed to "read for an hour every day" in order to maintain control over the vast amounts of material we're supposed to ingest over the course of a year. And this makes me wonder: do they really mean READ? Does working on our myriad of presentations count? How about our patient write-ups? Or the work-up we do for them when we're admitting them? What if we do 15 board style questions and 15 more EKGs at teaching sessions held throughout the day? Does that count? Did you really mean *1* hour? Does that mean I can slack off for an hour when I get home?

I didn't think that's what you meant. :-P

I guess they really don't want us to actually TALLY what we're doing.... but I actually get the impression that the powers that be would be most satisfied if we worked around the clock like the residents do. Except instead of taking care of people, we'd be reading.

And they tell us to read out of a textbook? Frankly, very little of what I read sticks (especially out of a textbook) unless I re-write it ALL, or do questions after I read it (my preferred method). I do get tired of being told how to study. I sometimes wonder what everyone else is doing.... but then I feel like I know what works for me now.

But what if THIS time I should have done more? What if I *should* have memorized every word of that godforsaken concise textbook of medicine? What if THIS shelf totally kicks my ass? So (even though it is still 2.5 months away) I keep reading. And practicing questions. On top of all the other crap. Because I have to. Because of fear.

It's funny how med school changes your perspective on things

2008-07-16T12:58:00.009-04:00

Like sleep.

Take me for instance. I am a mere med student. I have no *real* responsibilities other than to be enthusiastic, learn, try, help, etc. I still take call though, and last night I was in the hospital until 10:30PM or so. Then I came home and read until 12:30 or so.

And I got up at 5:45.

So, that's about 5 hours of sleep give or take. It's really not much in the grand scheme of things considering that we (humans) are *supposed* to be getting around 8 or so. I myself love a nice 8.5 hours (but I digress).

And so today I'm a little more short fused than usual and oversensitive (though containing it nicely I feel), headachey, more annoyed than usual about my hot and sticky walk home, and feeling hungry and thirsty (which I only noticed after I walked into my apartment). And I don't wanna study!

(picture me stamping my foot in indignation)*

My residents (who are the best residents ever -- and I swear I'm not saying this because some of you may be reading my blog....) by contrast, got two hours of sleep. Actually, it may have been 1 hour. And thus, my five hours looks really really cush.

And suddenly, I'm the lucky one who got HUGE amounts of sleep and should feel well rested. And *I* feel like a grouch. How must they feel? They don't really show it either, which I am amazed at. Wow, my life is EASY by comparison, and I really shouldn't be complaining about my silly biological needs.

Anyway. That's how med school changes your perspective on things like.... sleep. And peeing. And eating. They are no longer "needs" but become luxuries instead.**

I will say this though, I felt infinitely better once I got home and discovered that we had bologna in the fridge. Mmmmmm bologna and mayonnaise sandwiches. YUMMY! And some oreos, milk, and a peach. And a 60 minute nap perhaps to top it off?

Err.... maybe I'll try to have some veggies for dinner.

*I did also have a good day though. My presentations seemed to go well (working on being terse), my patients are getting better, and my work after rounds was accomplished expeditiously. Thanks for asking!!

**Don't tell anyone this, but I actually consider this to be kind of messed up. Like actually, a giant problem with medicine as a field. Oh yeah, and especially don't tell the doctor who told me (several months ago and at GREAT length) how the 80 hour work rules are going to ruin medicine as a field and produce a generation of lazy crappy doctors.

Still thinking

2008-07-14T17:53:00.006-04:00

So, still considering whether to make the blog private. I really appreciate all the comments. And! It's really interesting getting to know who has been reading me! Also how most people think privatizing is the smart thing to do.... you're probably right, but hear me out for a minute.

My reservation is this: Having a public blog actually helps me process things that happen to me.... Sometimes I just want to come out bitching and moaning about things that happen to me, and blogging knowing that other people will see it and may think I'm a giant asshole actually not only makes me censor myself, but has made me better at seeing the other side to things and processing my experiences. It's therapeutic in a way that a private blog might not be....

Or maybe I'm just a giant narcissist? :-)

I did find that the resident who talked to my friend has been reading for MONTHS, so removing it immediately is probably less urgent than I had originally thought. And so far I haven't received any comments from residents or had evaluations written about me that I felt were unfair.... even from Ob/Gyn.

Anyhow, I will sign off for the evening (I'm going to read tonight I swear!) with an observation and a question. First, the observation:

I think it is entirely possible that by the end of this rotation I will be convinced that everyone does cocaine.

And the question:

How does one ask a patient -- diplomatically, in the context of rectal bleeding -- if they've been putting things up their butt? Is it better to not ask, and just proceed to colonoscopy?

Thoughts?

Dear Readers

2008-07-13T20:26:00.004-04:00

It has been brought to my attention that my residents may be reading this blog. Understandably, this scares the shit out of me. Though, I do think I've been controlling myself better than usual as of late vis a vis the bitching. I've had less to bitch about though.....

I really don't like the idea of people I will work for in the future reading it, and then meeting me with preconceived ideas. Or people I work with now misinterpreting something. I know it's on the internet and public domain, blah blah blah, but when I hear of specific people reading my blog and talking about it with my classmates, it makes me read back over my old posts and think about whether I've been inflammatory lately. Have I been?

Thoughts about making this a subscription only blog?

PS -- This might be a good time to delurk, if you've been thinking about it at all.

:-P

2008-07-13T13:32:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow I start 12 days straight in the hospital! Shoot me now!

On the positive side, at least I've gotten 1 out of 3 write-ups done and 1 out of 8 presentations done. Makes things *a little* easier this week. Well, I still have to do another presentation. Apparently 1 per week is what they expect.

12 days.

Yuck.

Well, at least when I emerge from the hospital in two weeks, maybe this damn heat wave will have passed.

Also, only 12 nights of call left this block. Heh. I guess when this 13 day thing is over, it will be only 9 more call nights, and 5 weeks of inpatient medicine left.

Maybe I'm getting a little obsessed with this counting down thing.

:-P

Just an observation

2008-07-12T18:25:00.010-04:00

It's different taking care of psych patients when they are not actually psych patients. I guess I saw this a bit on the consult psych service, but then the patient had usually tried to kill themselves, was withdrawing from heroin, or wanted to see a psychiatrist. Or tried to leave AMA.

On the medicine service by contrast, most of the time, they're just floridly crazy with no specific indication for psychiatry. They're just unpleasant, accusatory, they lie to you, make things up about their histories (that are actually verifiable), telling one person one thing (no I do not inject heroin), and then telling the next person something different (I injected heroin into my penis just yesterday morning), and basically prevent you from taking care of them. You know, that whole "saving the patient's life" sort of nonsense.

Not that I dislike it exactly. I feel sorry for the patient still. But it's usually not so cut and dry, like the person tried to kill themselves, or hears voices, or what have you. Maybe the person is manic, and doesn't think there's anything actually wrong with them, or they are really, really attached to their delusions. And if you ask about racing thoughts they get offended BECAUSE THE LAST TIME THEY WERE ADMITTED THEY WERE ASKED THE SAME THING.

Gee. I wonder if there was a reason for that.

And then they won't talk to you at all anymore.

Hello patient? WHY DID YOU COME TO THE ED IF YOU DID NOT WANT US TO TAKE CARE OF YOU?

Fun.

Ok I thought of something

2008-07-12T13:52:00.003-04:00

So this past call night my husband....

Picked me up at 10:30 when I went home

Stayed up for 20 minutes listening to me practice my HPI

Went to bed, and then got up again an hour later concerned because I hadn't come to bed yet

Got up with me, made me coffee, and drove me to the hospital at 6:30 this morning

Vacuumed, cleaned the apartment, went food shopping while I was working this morning

Made me lunch so that it was ready when I arrived home at 1:30

(Let's not forget that he spends 12 hours/day at the office during the week as well...)

He is amazing! And I felt guilty. Like I should be doing more around the house, or at least pay him more attention when I AM home. I wonder if husbands who have wives who do the same thing feel guilty too, or if they just expect these things. Is this a woman thing?

My team told me that I should stop feeling guilty and be thankful that I chose so well. They're mostly women on my team, in case you couldn't already tell. I think I will try to take their advice.

Sorry for the dearth of posting

2008-07-12T13:44:00.003-04:00

But my week's been pretty long. I just don't feel like writing when I get home. Or talking, for that matter. I've really been enjoying medicine though. And I guess now it's 1 down, 7 more weeks to go!

I'll post more when something comes to mind.

Post Call Day #1

2008-07-08T15:36:00.007-04:00

So it wasn't that bad. I think today is another day that I will THANK GOD that I went to this med school.

Because....

We have Q4 call.

BUT!

We are not supposed to admit new patients after 8:30 PM so we can go home at 10 and read about them/prepare our presentations.

Which means:

No sleeping in the hospital for me until I become a sub-I.

Last night I was home at 9. I still had to stay up and do work, so I am a teensy bit sleep deprived (me likes 8 NOT 6.5 hours of sleep!), but nothing heinous.

And now I am post-call.

And let me just say that my team is freaking awesome. We have all new interns and a new PGY2 and they are still in the excited-to-be-there phase. And I feel like I can actually help with things sometimes. They have been great so far.

The only problem is I have a crap load to learn, a crap load of presentations to do, and a crap load of patient write-ups. But that's ok.

Sort of.

And I forgot to mention: What's with the crack and sodium party that everyone in West Philly seems to have attended last weekend? Why wasn't I invited?

Also, my patients had a total of 5 teeth between the two of them.

Ok, back to studying.

Vacation Complete (Almost)

2008-07-06T08:55:00.011-04:00

This morning I awoke to the clap-clap, clap-clap, clap-clap of a train passing beneath our window over the whirr of our air-conditioner cranked full-blast (it was still too hot). I thought to myself, at least it's going BY and I will not awaken to the aroma of the garbage train tomorrow morning.

You guessed it, Luca and I have returned to ~~the cess-pool~~ Philadelphia and we're at T-22 hours and counting until the start of my medicine rotation. Usually when a rotation starts, I begin all energetic and enthusiastic. It takes about two weeks before that fades and I start to think, can this rotation be DONE already? I get it. I'm not going to be a [insert specialty here]. Can I please just take the shelf and be done with it?

But let's not focus on the negative. Let's focus on yesterday. YESTERDAY I awoke to the soft patter of rain on the leaves of the tree overhanging my window, a cool breeze drifting in over my body, and the sound of birds chirping. I think the weather broke 75 degrees ONCE during my vacation, and my farmer's tan, which I acquired from walking to and from the hospital every morning and evening despite my best efforts has all but vanished. Note: *I* perceive weather that is between 65-75 to be ideal. I realize this is not what everyone prefers. But I don't care about what YOU all like.

Behold PALENESS!! Pay no attention to the funny facial expression.

Also, on the same boat ride: ART! (Ok not really, but I thought it was a cool picture so now you all are forced to behold.)

Boat.

Hot husband from afar.

You can imagine how fitting it seems to me that tomorrow it will be 90 degrees here. Welcome back OMDG! Here, why don't you bend over some more?

So I think that means that moving anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line is forever out of the question.

Also, we played with the dog. And took him on walks on the myriad of trails that surround my parent's house. He is much more obedient than last year. Behold! The sit. (Note: This was performed without the aid of a treat. He prefers sausage.)

It was a very pleasant vacation. About a week back, I almost forgot I was in medical school. And my parents only drove me a little nuts. I feel all energized and ready to learn again. Any bets on how long that will last? The good news is that this is the last rotation of the year that I actually care about (except for ER which is 3 weeks sometime this fall), and it's only 8 weeks long. After that I'll be in the home stretch.

Pumpkin

2008-07-04T09:41:00.003-04:00

You know how when residents/nurses/doctors can't remember a patient's name, they'll just refer to her as sweetie. Or hon. Or dear. Or sugar. Or "YOU." Or something else. (For some reason, I can't remember what the male pet names are. Are there any?)

I also remember vividly being told in our myriad classes on how to be a sensitive and caring-seeming doctor, that one should always call the patient by name. Preferably Mr./Mrs. LastName. This does happen from time to time, but not as often as it should.

But the worst was in Ob/Gyn where the pregnant ladies were universally referred to as "Pumpkin." As in, "Don't worry Pumpkin, everything will be ok. Just make a follow-up appointment for two weeks from now, and we'll have another look." As the woman struggled to sit up on the table against a very. VERY pregnant belly.

I kept thinking, Why don't they just use "Watermellon." Or "Fat-ass." Oh, and that if some doctor ever called me pumpkin during pregnancy, I might just be forced to ask, "PUMPKIN?? What's THAT supposed to mean?"

Sheesh.

Diabolical Laughter Ensues

2008-07-02T14:53:00.005-04:00

I received the following message in my inbox today:

I hope you are enjoying your vacation.

Reminder - Orientation is scheduled for Monday, July 7th from 7:00-8:30 in the 5M conference room. If you are starting with medicine, you will have didactics from 8:30-9:30 with Dr. K. You will report to your sites/teams following the didactic session.

If you are starting with Family Medicine, you will have your FM orientation following the medicine orientation.

Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions.

Translation: I'll bet you were enjoying your vacation until you got this message.... SUCKERS!!! Serves you right for checking your email while on vacation!

(Diabolical laughter ensues.)

At least it wasn't military style like we got with Ob/Gyn.

:-P *

Oh well! What better way to give the finger to the (wo)man than to enjoy a boat ride around the lake this afternoon.

TTFN!

*Just kidding, I wasn't really bothered by the email.

Today I.....

2008-06-29T21:51:00.004-04:00

Went for a 5 mile walk.
Lay on the couch watching tv.
Ate country style spare ribs.
Talked on the phone.
Taught the dog how to stay, come, and jump over things like a horse.
Became briefly irritated at my first commentor on my last post, then realized that my medicine rotation will be a mere 2 months out of my life even if I only get 1 golden weekend during the first 4 weeks instead of 2.
Procrastinated on facebook for a while. Was amused that Chelsea Clinton had friended Samantha Ronson (again). Behold the photographic evidence courtesy of Trix (Scroll down if you don't see it immediately).

Um, that's it I think.

Heehee.

Vay-cay

2008-06-29T13:04:00.002-04:00

Luca and I returned from our vacation-within-a-vacation to Vermont yesterday. We also saw some friends in Exeter NH and in Boston while we were out and about. It was so pleasant and relaxing! And it was nice to catch up with them.

Now we are back in CT, playing with the dog, going for walks, sleeping, and eating. A week from tomorrow I start my medicine rotation. I also recently discovered that I will be on call my first night! Yipee! Well, at least I should be well rested that first night, if not ever after then.

I then worked out my (of course tentative) call schedule for the first month and discovered that my black* weekend will be #2, and my golden** weekend will be #4. If it actually works out that way I will be very pleased.

I also found out that I got two months of general medicine rather than 1 month of general, and 2 two week blocks of specialty. This was also my first choice! I am pleased. I am also pleased to be doing my first month at Presby and my second month at HUP. I vascillate between fear and excitement about the next two months, but mostly it's tending towards excitement. Hopefully it will go well!

Until then, Luca and I will continue eating, sleeping, playing with the dog, and going for walks. Tonight my mom's making country style spare ribs. Yum!

*Black Weekend = Weekend in which you are on call Saturday, and post-call Sunday morning.

**Golden Weekend = Weekend in which you don't have to be in the hospital at all over Saturday and Sunday (but still have to study).

Reflections....

2008-06-24T12:41:00.003-04:00

I was just thinking about something:

5 years ago this summer I started my research job in Chicago, started my post-bac, and unloaded the boat anchor boyfriend I had at the time, commencing my road to med school.

I remember thinking that the three years (3 YEARS!) it would take to complete my pre-med requirements and apply to med school sounded like an eternity, and how lucky I felt when I got accepted and finally started school back in 2006. I still have at least 5, and more likely 6 years of school left, but med school kind of pulls you along once you're in it. Making the decision to go, completing the requirements, and applying have been the toughest things I've done so far. I wonder if it's like that for everyone.

Those 5 years went by really really quickly. I wonder what the next 5 will bring....

Anesthesia: There's a reason they get paid a lot

2008-06-23T11:38:00.004-04:00

I can say this, one more useful thing did come out of my ENT rotation. I learned that there is one more specialty that there is no way in hell I'd ever want to do: Anesthesia.

Not that they weren't nice, mind you. They were very nice. And laid back. And interested in teaching. Hell, they even let us intubate even though we weren't even on that rotation. And they showed us how all their equipment worked too. It was even somewhat intellectually interesting. If you like thinking about pharmacology and receptors and stuff like that.

What was the problem? They didn't DO anything. And they were happy about it. They bragged about the fact that they sat with their feet up for 5 hours most days until the surgeries ended, doing little more than giving the surgeon a little more trendelenberg. Sure, every so often something bad happened and they would spring into action. But usually that didn't happen, and they were very happy about it. Honestly, I need a little more activity than that. And sitting on my ass all day makes me cranky. Plus, I question whether I'd even be alert enough after sitting for hours to actually realize something bad was happening so that I *could* spring in to action.

And so, I eliminated another specialty from my list. It's too bad really. They do have nice lives, and are a pleasant bunch of folks. In the long run though, I just think I'd be bored to tears. I need to have constant activity and stimulation, and to feel like I'm doing something, well? Pretty much all of the time. Sad, but true.

Half

2008-06-20T13:10:00.008-04:00

I'm half done with my rotations as of 1 hour ago. Almost exactly.

Scary how time flies, yet drags along at the same time. This time next year I'll be about to start my PhD. And I might actually know what I want to do with my life.

I finally actually read my Ob/Gyn evals.... and also the evals from the other rotations I've completed. It turns out that the residents from my week of hell on nightfloat didn't evaluate me, so the overall eval was actually pretty good. Thank goodness. Just knowing that makes me feel a lot better about things. I guess that's something to remember when you have a bad week or two on a rotation.

Today was the last day of ENT. We saw patients in clinic and actually presented to the attendings. It's been a while since I had last done that -- over 3 weeks! But it was fun! So much better than just shadowing, even though I usually start off being afraid that I'm going to make an ass out of myself when I start my presentation.

Ah. If only ENT wasn't a surgical specialty -- if only I liked surgery(!) -- I might actually consider it. Everyone in the department here seems very happy and laid back. And I really enjoyed seeing the patients in clinic. That's so important to quality of life.

Though I will say.... mucous is really disgusting. I saw a patient today who literally was a giant ball of mucous. I felt for her, really I did. But every time she sneezed, these long ropes of snot would hang between her nose and the flexible scope that was just IN her nose.... and I really wanted to vomit. The removal or ear wax makes me want to yak as well. Especially when it's soft and oily, and the ENT doc kind of scoops it out like ice cream, and it smears all over the side of the speculum. A yellowish brownish smear or oil and wax on the shiny metal.

The rest of today.... I'm actually not sure what I'm going to do with myself. I should go running at some point. I hope I don't start to get depressed from having nothing to do. It's funny how that happens with me every vacation for the first few days. It's an illness I know. Sigh.

Tomorrow = Connecticut

Annoying is.....

2008-06-19T20:05:00.003-04:00

Having all your questions answered with a rant. As in:

Me: Are classes during the Medicine rotation held exclusively on Fridays?
Classmate: OH. MY. GOD. Class for that rotation was so utterly useless! I hated it! Wasn't it useless? That was the WORST ROTATION EVER! It was terrible! All the the residents were such dicks, and the hours were horrible. And FAMILY MEDICINE! So awful! BORING!

And on.

And on.

And on.