Digital Nicotine

Something New, Exciting but Scary

2009-06-12T17:18:00.004-04:00

I turned in my two week notice at work a little while back, and this upcoming Tuesday, the 16th, will be my last day at my current employer. I will no longer be a mattress salesman. I will be a window slash vinyl siding slash patio room salesman for a national company.

This is a calculated risk I am taking -- nothing ventured, nothing gained -- and the commission scale I am jumping up to has the potential to double my income. Yet I am leaving the safety net of guaranteed income and a job I know I'm good at, and this is, to be honest, a bit scary.

I will not fall on my face, yet I cannot deny that that is within the realm of possibility. In other words, I will try my damndest to make sure I will not fall on my face, and I believe in my capabilities and work ethic enough to succeed. But the race is not always to the swiftest....

Why am I posting this? Well, it's my blog, a so-called web log, so yeah, I can navel gaze about my personal issues all I want.

But also, in this economy, (and man that phrase, in this economy, has turned almost cliche pretty quick, hasn't it?) I think the best thing to do is to try to go upstream. Against the crowd. I know people are hurting out there, and folks are getting laid off and cutting expenses to get by, but when a good number of folks seem to be hunkering down, turtling into their shells, I am going to take my shot. Roll the dice. Make my move, etc.

I may be an optimist bordering on stupid, but so be it. Allstate Insurance has a TV commercial noting they were founded during The Depression. There are many other companies still thriving today that were as well. I'm not starting a business, I'm merely reaching for a higher rung. That's the American way.

Right now there are guys in a garage or in a dilapidated retail office sitting on plastic milk crates who a generation from now will be national names, despite this being potentially the worst recession since FDR.

My switching employers is scary, but I ain't scared -- much.

I'm also excited, and dreaming of the new opportunities before me. If I go down, I'm going down swinging like a sonuvabitch. And really, this isn't exactly a Profile in Courage. I have options if this does turn out to be a mistake.

Again, the reason I think I'm posting this is because I notice a bit too much pessimism out there. A pessimism that I'm afraid is a bit self fulfilling. Not I.

My current employer has been nothing but good to me, but it's time to move on.

To quote that jam band from Vermont: "This has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way."

(And heck, if worse comes to worst, I can always teach.)

A Long Life Well Deserved

2009-05-19T17:22:00.003-04:00

Happy 100th birthday, Sir Nicholas Winton.

Gay Marriage... Merely the MacGuffin

2009-05-14T14:35:00.009-04:00

It was never really about gay marriage. It was just happened to be the MacGuffin. Carrie Prejean's recent slosh through the slime (released photos, medical records, called a bitch, the c-word, her parent's released divorce records, etc.) was over something much more basic, much more crude....

*****

I remember a little while back watching Craig Ferguson's late night show, and Ferguson didn't do his normal monologue. He stood before the cameras and said, No more. No more jokes about Brittney Spears.

She was shaving her head bald, going through a divorce, flashing her beaver exiting vehicles, and partying at a level that crossed from mere foolishness to dangerous self-destruction.

And it was supposedly hilarious. "That Brittney sure is dumb.... Sure is a slut.... Sure is a crazy bitch.... Sure is a has-been at 25."

Yuk yuk yuk. Hilarious stuff it all was. The pile on was severe, merciless, and in her face.

And in the midst of this, Ferguson essentially said, "Enough, this is not funny, I will no more be a part of this." (You can watch him here.) I happened to be fortunate enough to watch that original broadcast. I felt a tiny bit of shame because up to that point I had been passively cheering on all of the ugly spectacle.

*****

Man is a bullying creature. The better among us know we shouldn't, and while we have set up societal guards against it, occasionally we slip. We fall short of those standards we set for ourselves. It is our nature.

Of course, there are also those who embrace being a bully, and as always, going back to the schoolyard, they go after an easy target. And if possible, they work in packs.

In our media, there are elements that have become pretty adept at being facilitators to such bullying.

Brittney Spears became a target due to her odd fall from fame. Prejean's was an answer counter to the attitudes of a vocal number of our media elite. It cannot be emphasized enough that Prejean's off the cuff answer, in a silly environment like a beauty pageant, is the same of our current President. But Barack Obama is not an easy target. A 21-year old beauty queen is.

That answer was the MacGuffin, what allowed the process to begin, and any defenses of the treatment she received afterwards are merely rationalizations. Had Prejean managed to avoid that gay marriage question, many of the same folks taking aim at her now would instead be laughing at Lindsey Lohan for dyking it up, or the Octo-mom's severe mental issues, or whatever.

It ain't about politics. It ain't about gay marriage. Just an excuse, a rationalization, to get off berating somebody else to make you feel good about yourself.

That's what bullies do.

Sunday Mornings This Past Autumn, and Some Old Campaign Politics

2009-05-06T04:55:00.009-04:00

This past fall, I began to attend church again in a more regular fashion. The spiritual muscle needs flexing, yet I had let it get a bit flabby. It is a Lutheran Church I attend, straddling the border between the Highlands and downtown, and inside I was able to sing those old German hymns, and listen to the Pastor preach on Christ, the Prophets, redemption, hope, sin, salvation, and grace among other common themes.

I am not the world's greatest Christian, but I am working on it. (Then again, if you ever do meet someone claiming to be a great Christian, keep a hand on your wallet.)

This is a post that has been brewing for a while, but due to my lack of enthusiasm for blogging in general, and a genuine concern of descending into hackery on this subject in particular, I have held off. But I believe ideas are now sorted properly, and passions cooled a bit, so that I can go there with honesty and respect, and not point scoring or partisanship.

My church is directly across the street from a party headquarters of the local Democratic Party. This being the election season, they of course had a fairly large poster on their fence for Barack Obama. This poster didn't say "Obama for President" or "Obama/Biden" however; it simply said "Hope," with the now familiar circular Obama logo in the O, sans the art deco portrait of our current President.

And this was odd, coming out of the dimly lit church -- after hearing of Christ on the cross, and delving into those recurrent themes of grace, salvation, forgiveness, etc., to step outside into the sunny but brisk October day to see the word "hope" associated with... a politician.

*****

I write this now because Aunt B repeats a complaint I've heard among some Obama supporters, that conservatives mock their support of Obama as Messianic or worshipful in quality. She thinks he is, in her own words, "not that bad."

I take her word at it, and acknowledge that many of Obama's supporters are similar in attitude. They voted for the guy because of basic agreements on the issues. Yet it cannot be denied that when one thinks of how Obama campaigned, two general themes come to mind: that he was the man of Change, and that he was the man of Hope.

Hope was everywhere. Ubiquitous. When you thought hope, you thought Barack Obama. You couldn't escape it.

But let me quote Psalm 118 (vs. 8-9):

It is better to have faith in the Lord than to put one's hope in man.
It is better to have faith in the Lord than to put one's hope in rulers.

(An aside: this is the same Psalm of that famous passage, This is the day which the Lord has made; we will be full of joy and delight in it.)

Such skepticisms and admonishments to place your hope and trust in God rather than in some ruler -- some man -- is a fairly strong current running throughout the Bible. That Obama campaigned in direct contradiction to this sensibility, and that many bought into it, is jarring. It does lead to questioning whether those without religion in their lives -- and liberals are more likely to be secular than conservatives -- found something to fill that void, for at least one campaign season.

This phenomenon was one that neither the campaign nor the candidate, himself a professed Christian, did anything to discourage. Though the craziness of the campaign season has now tempered, some of that residue understandably still lingers. Thus the "Barack Obama, Hallowed be Thy Name" jokes.

PS: And don't forget that creepy Yes We Can video.

A Quick Comment on Washington's Prescription

2009-03-21T12:33:00.005-04:00

It seems to me that right now Washington is doing to the economy basically what doctors did to, well, Washington.

Our economy is ill, George Washington was ill.

Washington's doctors treated his ailments with mercury and bleeding, making his situation much worse, and quite possibly killing him by accident.

And today, in the city named after him, our leaders have examined our economy, and prescribed the same damn thing.

Dear Britain, Drop Dead

2009-03-09T15:20:00.002-04:00

This comes from the British Sunday Telegraph, describing why the first meeting between the new US President and the UK Prime Minister was so odd.

"The real views of many in Obama administration were laid bare by a State Department official involved in planning the Brown visit, who reacted with fury when questioned by The Sunday Telegraph about why the event was so low-key.

The official dismissed any notion of the special relationship, saying: "There's nothing special about Britain. You're just the same as the other 190 countries in the world. You shouldn't expect special treatment."

Uh....

I guess intentionally insulting and denigrating our strongest ally is part of that 'smart diplomacy' I keep hearing about from the Obama folks and their supporters.

HT: Ace

True MVPs

2009-02-18T22:01:00.006-05:00

I personally find Rick Reilly often obnoxious. Here, however, he connects with the sweet spot of the bat. His current column names who really should have won some baseball MVP awards if we take away the ill-gotten trophies from those who later admitted to being on steroids.

Hint: Albert Pujols comes out pretty well.

CBO: Recession to End Later This Year... With Absolutely no Stimulus

2009-02-08T23:15:00.002-05:00

That's right, the highly respected, non-partisan Congressional Budget Office not only says that the recession should end on its own during the second half of this year, but unemployment will stay below the levels seen during the '81-'82 recession.

CBO anticipates that the current recession, which started in December 2007, will last until the second half of 2009, making it the longest recession since World War II. (The longest such recessions otherwise, the 1973–1974 and 1981–1982 recessions, both lasted 16 months. If the current recession were to continue beyond midyear, it would last at least 19 months.) It could also be the deepest recession during the postwar period: By CBO’s estimates, economic output over the next two years will average 6.8 percent below its potential—that is, the level of output that would be produced if the economy’s resources were fully employed (see Figure 1). This ecession, however, may not result in the highest unemployment rate. That rate, in CBO’s forecast, rises to 9.2 percent by early 2010 (up from a low of 4.4 percent at the end of 2006) but is still below the 10.8 percent rate seen near the end of the 1981–1982 recession.

There is no need for this country to go an additional $800 billion in debt. This is simply a convenient crisis for the party currently in power.

Jokes

2009-02-06T11:21:00.005-05:00

Last night, after watching the news on the local NBC affiliate, The Tonight Show came on.

The gist of the opening monologue joke:

~ "Boy, those Democrats sure don't pay their taxes."

The gist of the second joke:

~ "Why are Democrats going to a luxury resort to do some strategery, when there is this place called the Capitol Building where they can do the exact same thing?"

The gist of the third joke:

~ "The stimulus is itself a joke. There's an actual appropriation in there for $2 million for neon light installation for Las Vegas"

The fourth joke was then an easy Blago corruption joke.

Later, during a skit featuring Fred Willard as a Postmaster "Colonel," Leno asked why he hasn't been promoted to Postmaster General. Answer: "I didn't pay my taxes."

No jokes on Bush. None on McCain or Palin, or Republicans in general.

The water in the tub may have sloshed the Democrats way lately, but what I unexpectedly happened on last night is a sign that it may slosh back to Republicans much sooner than normal. By making the foundation of their entire governing philosophy the past eight years a crude "not-Bush," the removal of Bush has now also removed the foundation on which Washington Democrats stood.

All they've got now are a gaggle of -- admittedly usually sincere -- liberal special-interest groups pressing them one way (aka: money for appropriations in the "stimulus"), desires for grubby fat-laden pork pushing them another (aka: money for appropriations in the "stimulus"), a startlingly unimpressive leadership class among high ranking Democrats, and no true philosophical guide to guidance.

It's actually not that funny.

No Smoot-Hawley v2.0? Hopefully

2009-02-03T22:58:00.004-05:00

It looks like President Obama has come out against the Buy American clause of the bailout.

This is good news. While I still consider the bailout an unconscionable ratio of fat to beef, the removal of this potential trade-war-inducing bit makes the bill at least somewhat more palatable.

You take what you can get. I'll gladly take this.

(3.8%)

2009-01-30T19:39:00.011-05:00

[If this post had a subtitle, it would be, "I can't quit you, you Internets."]

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

The economy shrunk 3.8% in the last quarter, the worst since 1982!!

[...]

Wait a second... 1982? Don't get me wrong, that was a bad quarter we had, and as someone in sales, it has affected me personally. But 1982, in the great scheme of things, is not that long ago. The 3.8% drop is actually considered much better than what some economists feared, a drop of over 5%. For all of 2008 the GDP actually rose by a paltry, but still positive, 1.3 percent.

The sky is not falling. Repeat, the sky is not falling.

Concerning 1982, while it wasn't exactly the best year economically, neither was it the stuff of lore. You don't see grandma and grandpa in their rocking chairs, gathering the children together, telling the tales of those great trials and tribulations, those breadlines and joblines, of that annum horribilis -- 1982.

Heck, by 1984, things were so much better that President Reagan was using "Morning in America" to wipeout Walter Mondale in a manner that puts Obama's win over McCain -- while solid -- in a bit of perspective.

Looking at the $819 billion dollar "stimulus" (yes, I'm using irony quotes) it seems more like a cure worse than the disease. Democrats have been out of power for a while, and this $819 billion seems more like a spending spree, a celebratory "We're back and we got money" moment. A bunch of Carrie Bradshaws, shopping for designer shoes on the taxpayers dime.

As Rahm Emmanuel said, "Never let a serious crisis go to waste."

Unfortunately, the Republicans during the first six years of the Bush administration didn't see an appropriation they didn't like, and lost a lot of the credibility they held as the party of financial responsibility. However, that is a credibility Democrats never held, and the American people may be remembering that. The poll numbers supporting the stimulus have been dropping steadily.

And more importantly, the non-partisan and highly respected Congressional Budget Office has determined that the overwhelming majority of the $819 billion won't even be spent in the next two years, and that speeding up that spending would be impractical and reckless.

To add upon that, the Buy American clause within the stimulus, while sounding good and patriotic, may in fact lead to a trade war between the US and our trading partners, Europe and China chief among them.

Trade wars and tariffs during an economic downturn? Go and google "Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act." I dare you. And did you notice the year that act was passed? 1930. Now that was an annum horribilis!

I could go on, but you get the point.

Times are not good. They are, in fact, bad. But they're not horrible. They are not wretched. They are highly precedented and common. They do not require a rushed through, pork-laden stimulus that reeks more of political back scratching. The $819 billion stimulus will pass. The Democratic votes are there for it, no matter what the Republicans do.

But that means the Democrats own it.

When the economy recovers -- in six months, nine, at worst twelve, it always does -- people will look back and wonder, "Was that $819 billion (a whole helluva lot of money) really necessary?" And by that time, it will have been after the fact gone over with a fine tooth comb. What is rushed through today may be an embarrasement tomorrow.

So why can't the stimulus be gone over before then? If all of that money, according to the CBO, cannot be spent wisely within two years anyway...

Why spend it in the first place?

And Thanks For All The Fish (The End?)

2009-01-15T13:19:00.005-05:00

This is the 827th post of Digital Nicotine. It may also be the last. I don't know.

For a professional, or semi-pro, blogging is an excellent venue. And there is a future out there in cyber-world. And the old media will have to change or die. Burn, baby, burn.

But I came on here back in '05 as an escape when I was working a brain numbing dead-end job for a pittance of a wage. Since then I have significantly upgraded my pay, bought a house, and got engaged.

What was once an escape, a vent and pleasure, is now a source of chore and battle. Reading this post by Aunt B just encapsulated for me how stupid and petty it all is. No, Hobbs does not think that what Williams did is actually the same as the betrayal of Christ, nor does anybody else who alludes to that common phraseology to describe a traitor, i.e.: a Judas. But words and intentions are twisted for convenience. Easier access for mockability.

And you best believe it's not just B doing this. It's damn near everybody. Right and left, liberal and conservative. And yes, I've been guilty too. Everybody in a damn competition to see who can be more clever than the next. Who can score the points. Who gets scored upon.

Recently, I haven't had the time to keep up. Been thinking about it recently, I haven't really wanted to keep up.

Say Uncle, whom I did not link enough during this bloggin run, once said, "I do this for me."

Words of wisdom.

Everybody, thanks for reading and commenting, it's been more good times than bad. As potentially my last post, I'd like to end all this with some E. A. Housman. Great poet, great poem. Somehow, this particular bit of verse captures how I feel.

*****

From "A Shropshire Lad"

LXII. Terence, this is stupid stuff

‘TERENCE, this is stupid stuff:
You eat your victuals fast enough;
There can’t be much amiss, ’tis clear,
To see the rate you drink your beer.
But oh, good Lord, the verse you make, 5
It gives a chap the belly-ache.
The cow, the old cow, she is dead;
It sleeps well, the horned head:
We poor lads, ’tis our turn now
To hear such tunes as killed the cow. 10
Pretty friendship ’tis to rhyme
Your friends to death before their time
Moping melancholy mad:
Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.’

Why, if ’tis dancing you would be, 15
There’s brisker pipes than poetry.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse, 20
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man.
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot 25
To see the world as the world’s not.
And faith, ’tis pleasant till ’tis past:
The mischief is that ’twill not last.
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where, 30
And carried half way home, or near,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then the world seemed none so bad,
And I myself a sterling lad;
And down in lovely muck I’ve lain, 35
Happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet, 40
And nothing now remained to do
But begin the game anew.

Therefore, since the world has still
Much good, but much less good than ill,
And while the sun and moon endure 45
Luck’s a chance, but trouble’s sure,
I’d face it as a wise man would,
And train for ill and not for good.
’Tis true, the stuff I bring for sale
Is not so brisk a brew as ale: 50
Out of a stem that scored the hand
I wrung it in a weary land.
But take it: if the smack is sour,
The better for the embittered hour;
It should do good to heart and head 55
When your soul is in my soul’s stead;
And I will friend you, if I may,
In the dark and cloudy day.

There was a king reigned in the East:
There, when kings will sit to feast, 60
They get their fill before they think
With poisoned meat and poisoned drink.
He gathered all the springs to birth
From the many-venomed earth;
First a little, thence to more, 65
He sampled all her killing store;
And easy, smiling, seasoned sound,
Sate the king when healths went round.
They put arsenic in his meat
And stared aghast to watch him eat; 70
They poured strychnine in his cup
And shook to see him drink it up:
They shook, they stared as white’s their shirt:
Them it was their poison hurt.
—I tell the tale that I heard told. 75
Mithridates, he died old.

Brrrrr!

2009-01-15T11:25:00.003-05:00

Some mornings there is no need for coffee. Such as this one, when I stepped out of the house and the wind hit me. (Bit me... smacked me... bitch slapped me, etc.) The bank thermostat I passed on the way to work said it was ten degrees.

Nope. No coffee needed today, because I am wide wide awake after that.

Though some hot cocoa would be really nice about now.

I Normally Don't Cuss, So That's My Warning For This Post, Cause I'm Gonna Go Off on This...

2009-01-13T23:36:00.006-05:00

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Did. You. See. That. Game.

Jodie Meeks!

15 of 22 from the field. 14 of 14 from the line. 10 of 15 from behind the damn arc!

54 points! All time UK record! Passing Dan fucking Issel! In a win against a ranked team!

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

[Pause]

[Pause]

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Bacon!!

2009-01-10T03:54:00.003-05:00

Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon...

BACON!!

BACON!!

It's Not The Words Per Se, But To Whom the Words Were Directed At

2009-01-09T23:36:00.006-05:00

Came across this link to famous last words, very interesting enough, and the last one listed is by Karl Marx.

Here is the quote, and the description of the situation surrounding it.

"Go on, get out -- last words are for fools who haven't said enough." -- Revolutionary Karl Marx to his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down.

Catch that? The last words Marx spoke were to his housekeeper. His housekeeper! Someone he or an associate paid... to serve... him.

Servants of the world, unite?

Appropriately illuminating. The man whom Marxism was named after could not, in his final moments, come close to living the philosophy he advocated. A foreshadowing of the futility of many of the violent Marx-inspired revolutions in the 20th century to come.

Note the Ciggarette

2009-01-04T22:04:00.005-05:00

From the guys at Powerline:

"Many liberals enjoyed the disgusting attacks on President Bush by anti-American critics around the world. It will be interesting to see how they react when Obama is the target."

Interesting indeed.

Quick Comment on Our Political Leadership

2008-12-31T13:04:00.004-05:00

Post-election, as Barack Obama has been selecting his cabinet, the rest of the entire Democratic party had only two responsibilities of importance. One was to fill Obama's vacated Senate seat in Illinois, the other was Hillary Clinton's Senate seat in New York.

How's that going? Answer: You almost feel circus music should be playing in the background, considering the farce both have become.

And the Republicans, still licking their wounds from November, how are they taking advantage of this?

Answer: By getting themselves into a situation where most headlines discussing them nowadays have the word "negro" in it.

Yeah...

I think I'll treat myself on this New Year's Eve, and drink the good stuff.

Merry Christmas, and Some Good Cheer

2008-12-24T15:42:00.003-05:00

I'll be out of here celebrating Christmas, and visiting the family. Hope you all have a good one too. The fiance is feeling a bit sick right now, so we may or may not make it to the Christmas Eve candlelight at church tonight, but besides that obvious and original reason for good cheer this holiday, I bring you another one I came across today.

It appears that researchers have found a possible trigger of Alzheimer's, a "slow, chronic reduction of blood sugar to the brain."

Good stuff. Very good stuff.

Merry Christmas. Peace and goodwill to you all.

Screaming at Grendel From Lake Forest, CA

2008-12-23T16:37:00.006-05:00

With the recent passing of Jerry Falwell, and Pat Robertson's age and general nuttiness at this point making him semi-retired, that large subset within activist liberalism that is hotly anti-religion has been without a Grendel.

No dark unthinking monster to fear and rage at. To whimper from. No abhorrent creature from the slimy depths threatening to come and render limb from torso.

No personification at which to build up and direct all collected antipathies. All venoms, loathings, and yes, bigotries, for all that is religious (and especially that which is mainstream Christian) at which to scream at. That loud piercing animalistic scream of terror and hatred. That sweet horrible catharsis.

*****

And then Obama tapped Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inaguration. Warren, with his rather unremarkable view that marriage is only a man/woman thing.

And Grendel is found. Rejoice.

Now scream.

Good Samaritans Not Needed in California

2008-12-20T12:12:00.003-05:00

I'm sure readers are familiar of the Good Samaritan rule when it comes to coming across an accident or emergency. If in good faith a non-medical professional does their best to administer care in such an emergency, they are not liable to be sued for trying to do the right thing.

The established thinking is that any miscare accidently given is far overweighed by the benefits of having neighbors taking care of neighbor in an emergency where a medical professional doesn't happen to be present.

The California Supreme Court... nevermind.

The original LA Times story is here, and here's where I came across this.

A Good Point Concerning Our President Elect Concerning This Mess

2008-12-14T14:56:00.004-05:00

Steve Chapman of the Chicago Tribune, talking about Obama concerning Rod Blagojevich.

"...[T]hough he is not of the Democratic machine, he has never been exactly against it. Former congressman and federal judge Abner Mikva said of Blagojevich, "You don't get through Chicago like Barack Obama did unless you know how to avoid people like that." Note the verb: not "challenge" but "avoid." His approach to old-style politics was wary coexistence."

While it is good to know that Obama probably didn't play ball with the Illinois governor, the odd way he has responded -- the hesitation and vagueness -- has people noticing.

My hunch, and this is a strong one, is that Obama and his team did what was normally done during his time swirling around in the Chicago political scene. He kept himself above it, he knew who and what to avoid, but he didn't exactly go all Elliott Ness on the corruptness within his party. Hell, he didn't even go Sarah Palin on it, whose selection on the GOP ticket was in part due to her taking on the corrupt establishment within her own state party.

Obama and his team didn't take the bribe. That's good. But were they offered one? No biggie if they were... unless they failed to report it. That's the question.

For A Newspaper Lady, Do I Write my Poesy

2008-12-09T17:07:00.003-05:00

A Sonnet, Dedicated to the lovely T----

In tiny Hoots a lone newspaper woman
Patrols the taverns, pubs, and chain eateries
In constant search of what? Perhaps... the Truth?
Perhaps Bigfoot is what she seeks to find.
In Hoots one must pack heat, so unawares
Will not be her when appears in gory horror
Undead abominations shuffling past
The local campus, mumbling sickly groans
In search... oh my... the damned, unholy cry:
Brains!! -- Brains!! -- You hear their call!? -- Brains!!
They seek to satisfy a hunger never
Capable of satiation. So with the true
and loyal Mabel next to her, our gal,
Newscoma, will tread her beat with diligence.

*****

A gift for you, because you seem a little frazzled right now and deserving of one. That, and I haven't tried my hand at blank verse in a while. I hope you like this bit of doggerel.

PS: Blank verse is hard.

Roughage in a Cup

2008-12-07T15:50:00.003-05:00

Ever take that last drink of coffee from the cup -- bought at a Starbucks, mind you -- and discover what feels like a full teaspoon of grounds at the bottom as they cascade down your unexpecting throat, causing you to choke and cough?

Good times.

Whatever Happened to "You Shouldn't Post Any Embarrassing Pictures of Yourself on Facebook?"

2008-12-05T17:10:00.007-05:00

I tell you, this picture of some Obama volunteer groping the cardboard breast of Sen. Clinton is pretty embarrassing.

Actually, it's not just some Obama volunteer. It's his chief speechwriter, Jon Favreau, getting to second base with the cut out.

Not to be confused with the Jon Favreau of the infamous answering machine scene from Swingers.

This should be an interesting four years.