The day I attended my funeral

girl; interviewed

2008-09-20T19:17:00.004+02:00

Wara aktar minn sentejn inrażżan il-bżonn li neżibixxi, waslet eżibizzjoni oħra min-naħa tiegħi. L-unika ħaġa in komuni bejn din l-eżibizzjoni u ta' qabilha hija l-fatt li se nkun qed nagħmilha ma' persuna oħra (Pawlu Mizzi). Inwiegħdkom li dak kollu li se taraw huwa ġdid fjamant (għamilt aktar minn sena u nofs nżomm kollox sigriet sigriet, hush hush!).

L-eżibizzjoni se tiftaħ nhar il-Ġimgħa 10 t'Ottubru 2008 fis-7.30pm (kulħadd jista' jattendi), il-Mużew Marittimu Malti, ġewwa l-Birgu. Tibqa' sejra sal-21 ta' Novembru u tkun miftuħa il-ġranet kollha tal-ġimgħa bejn id-9.00am u l-5.00am. Għal aktar informazzjoni tistgħu tikklikkjaw hawnhekk (niddejjaq nintilef f'ħafna eloġji).

Liġijiet tal-Fiżika alternattivi

2008-07-21T17:07:00.003+02:00

Kull min jikkrea l-kartuns għandu l-libertinaġġ sħiħ kif idawwar u jħawwad il-liġijiet tal-fiżika biex idaħħak u jżomm kemm jista' jkun l-attention span tant qasira tat-tfal. Fid-dinja tal-kartunx kollox huwa possibli u ħadd m'hu se jgħajjat "ŻINN!!" jekk jara xi ħaġa imġebbda jew eżaġerata. Anzi, kważi kważi tkun qed tistenna li tara affarijiet li ma jixhdu xejn mir-realtà li titkeffen magħna ta' kuljum.

Xi ħadd ġabar dawn 'il-liġijiet ġodda' f'daqqa. Niżżilhom waħda waħda kif inhuma hawn taħt bħala referenza unika li żgur mhux forsi se tqanqal ċerta nostalġija lil dawk li bħali, għaddew ħafna mill-infanzja tagħħhom imwaħħlin quddiem l-ewwel televiżjonijiet bil-kulur.

Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.

Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the specialty of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

Cartoon Law IV
The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

Cartoon Law V
All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

Cartoon Law VI
As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once. This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A `wacky' character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

Cartoon Law VII
Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

Cartoon Law VIII
Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they re inflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify. Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

Cartoon Law IX
Everything falls faster than an anvil.

Cartoon Law X
For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite re-vengeance. This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.

Cartoon Law Amendment A
A sharp object will always propel a character upward. When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up, with great velocity.

Cartoon Law Amendment B
The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters. Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will. For instance, the Road Runner can materialize signs to express himself without speaking.

Cartoon Law Amendment C
Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries. They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.

Cartoon Law Amendment D
Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths. Their operation can be witnessed by observing the behavior of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall, causing the neck to stretch. As the head begins to fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

Cartoon Law Amendment E
Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which cartoon laws hold). The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe which postulated that the tensions involved in maintaining a space would cause the creation of hydrogen from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick sized) and unstable (lit). Such quanta are attracted to psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in "cool" characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their advantage. One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding. A big bang indeed.

What if it were you?

2008-07-10T15:21:00.002+02:00

Ħaddmu r-ras il-kbira flok iż-żgħira.

BlobbIllum

2008-07-09T14:42:00.000+02:00

Malli nqarrbu il-35 grad...

...l-arja tibda titwaħħad miegħek bħal qarnita u bilkemm tħallik tieħu nifs. Hekk hu s-sajf mediterranju; (m'aħniex iċ-ċentru tad-dinja, hawn diversi pajjiżi oħra jgħaddu minn dan is-suffraġju) tidlik, riħ isfel, nemus u qali ta' bajd (jew ta' ġenituri) fil-karozzi u fuq il-bonnets. F'pajjiż fejn l-air conditioner sar bżonn u mhux lussu, jekk tixref rasek barra bejn l-10 ta' filgħodu u l-4 ta' wara nofsinhar tkun qed tirriskja ħajtek għax tlaqqgħat xi kanċer tal-ġilda f'radda ta' salib. Ħalliha li t-turisti l-hena tagħhom jinkaljaw f'dik ix-xemx li lanqas il-gremxul u l-bugħarwien ma jifilħu għaliha. Imma dawk fiex jifhmu? Dawk jagħmlu ġimgħa u jparpru jistkennu fl-arja gradevoli tat-tramuntani tal-ewropa fejn l-ebda pjanta ma tinħaraq jew tixxawwat bir-raġġi tax-xemx. Soluzzjonijiet? Jeżistu, imma għal ħin limitat. Għall-ġisem tista' tpoġġi xugaman imxarrab b'ilma kiesaħ (jekk jirnexxielek issib) u tmiddu fuq saqajk. Jaħdem u għal ftit ħin saħansitra jikkonvinċik li qed tħoss il-bard. Għall-psike, tista' tintefa' tara film jew dokumentarju fuq jew ambjentat fis-silġ. Hemm diversi mnejn wieħed jista' jagħżel (Alive, March of the Penguins, Alaska u Ice Age) li bla ma jridu jagħtuk l-impressjoni li t-temperaturi ta' barra mhumiex għoljin daqskemm fil-fatt huma.

Mess lil Eileen Montesin, lil Rachel Vella...

...u issa kien imiss ukoll lil Prim Ministru. Xi ħadd b'ħafna ħin x'jaħli rnexxielu jiħħekkja l-wikipedia u mmodifika estensivament il-paġna ddedikata għall-ħajja personali u politika ta' Lawrence Gonzi. Iċ-ċajt is-salmura tal-ħajja, imma imbagħad iż-żejjed kollu żejjed.

Ma nafx għaliex...

...ħafna mill-aħbarijiet qegħdin jippruvaw inaqqsu mil-mertu tal-low cost carriers li għenu sabiex ikollna aktar ċaqliq ta' nies minn pajjiżna. Huwa sigriet magħruf li l-Maltin kollha ħadu nifs twil ta' solljev meta skoprew li tista' ssiefer sa post Ewropew u lura b'inqas minn €100.

Jumejn oħra...

...u d-dinja dduq l-inteliġenza tal-iPhone 3G bi prezz relattivament baxx. Għalissa ma kontx beħsiebni ngħodos fl-ibħra tal-madwar għax ħuħ il-kbir (l-iPhone) jaqdini sew u kull meta jkolli bżonn. Fortunatament, l-ispetturi tal-Apple ħasbu biex jipprovdu software bil-lest għal min diġà għandu l-ewwel wieħed. Tgħidli qalbi t-talb ta' Jacques ma wasalx u subgħajna se jkollna nużawh aktar milli wieħed seta' qatt jimmaġina *themiża*.

When Hollywood recruited ugly people

2008-07-06T14:23:00.008+02:00

This post's title seems like an oxymoron nowadays due to six packs and anorexics taking over the silver screen. Back in time however there were several actors who were ugly like hell but who made a very important contribution to modern day cinema and who left a considerable imprint on the films they acted in.

Ugly actors I like:

Ron Perlman (the Beauty and the Beast, In the Name of the Rose);

Marty Feldman (Young Frankenstein);

Plinio Fernando (in almost all of Paolo Villagio's films);

Alvaro Vitali (Mighty Pierino!)

Vincent Schiavelli (Amadeus, Blade Runner, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest);

Keith David (Requiem For a Dream, Pitch Black, Armageddon);

Woody Harrelson (Natural Born Killers);

Parallelism

2008-06-17T11:43:00.002+02:00

"Ibni, l-arti ma tqallgħekx flus. Agħżel kors sura ta' nies, ta' sinsla li wara snin ta' studju jkun jista' joffrilek karriera fuq platt tal-fidda li tqallgħek il-flus. Jien naf... forsi... tabib? perit? inġinier? avukat? U le x'avukat, dawk hawn ħafna minnhom u tispiċċa l-qorti tikkustinja fuq xi ħadd li seraq kwart perżut. Jew forsi accountant jew kaxxier. Jien naqrahom kuljum il-gazzetti u dejjem insib li jridu jdaħħlu n-nies biex joqogħdu jgħoddu l-flus. Ma nafx x'għerf trid biex tgħodd il-flus! Jien kont nagħmilha kull l-aħħar Ġimgħa tax-xahar meta kien jasal dak l-imbierek ċekk. Qatt ma fdajthom lill-banek u tarraft lill-imgħallem biex il-paga jtijieli flus f'idi, waħda fuq waħda. Imma ħabba li kienu serquh xi żewġ briganti, iddeċieda li jibda jħażżeż ċekk bil-pinna tad-deheb finta li kellu. U kont infekren lejn dak il-bank ta' ħdejn Wenzu l-Imballat fis-sigħat bikrin ta' filgħodu biex żgur inkun ma' tal-ewwel. Imma ja mgħallqa 'l huma, dejjem kont insib xi żewġt iġrieden li jsebbħu hemm qabli li ħlief jisħtu l-gvern u jgergru mal-ħaddiema tal-bank ma kienux jagħmlu. Imbagħad meta kien imissni jien għajnejja kienu jixgħelu u meta nirċievi l-flus f'idi noqogħod ngħoddhom bil-mod, waħda, waħda. B'hekk tgħallimt ngħodd! Qatt ma mort universitajiet u prim'awli u x'naf jien! Dan kollu nejk.

Imma insomma, ara x'għidtlek, għażel xi ħaġa li toffrilek ħobżok ta' kuljum..."

-------------------

Maestro Antonio Salieri, now confined in a hospital for the mentally ill, re-tells some memories from his childhood and how he idolized Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. At the time everyone loved Mozart, even in the remote parts of Europe.

He admits he was jealous when he heard the tales they told about Mozart. Not of the brilliant little prodigy himself, but of his father, who had taught him everything.

Salieri's father did not care for music. He wanted him only to be a merchant, like himself. As anonymous as he was. When he told him how he wished he could be like Mozart, he would raise his eyebrow and say: "Why? Do you want to be a trained monkey? Would you like me to drag you around Europe doing tricks like a circus freak?"

Can you imagine?

2008-06-07T12:11:00.003+02:00

You see the whole culture... Nazis, deodorant salesman, wrestlers, beauty contests, the talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers... third-rate con men, telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak for Jesus... and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back, and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.

Frederick
Hannah And Her Sisters (1986)

Tanto

2008-05-29T22:54:00.000+02:00

Che stai facendo? Lavoro.
Che cosa cerchi? L'oro.
Hai uno scopo? Credo.
Dove ti trovi? In Italia.
E come vivi? Suono.
Di dove sei? Toscano.
Qual è il tuo aspetto? Meno sereno di un tempo, ma non per questo stanco.
A cosa pensi? Al deserto.
Qual è il tuo impegno? Immenso.
Ed il tuo tempo? Denso.
CHe risultati hai? Alti e bassi.
CHe risultati hai? Alti e bassi.
Rido di me, di te, di tutto ciò che di mortale c'è e che mi piace

Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto
Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto
Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto
Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto

Come va il mondo? Male.
Come va il mondo? Bene.
Come va il mondo? Male.
Come va il mondo? Bene.
Rido di me, di te, di tutto ciò che di mortale c'è e che mi piace

Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto
Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto
Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto
Tanto tanto tanto tanto tanto

Che cosa fai? Vivo.
Quando sei in forma? Scrivo.
Innamorato? Credo.
E lei ti ama? A suo modo.
Come va il mondo? Male.
Come va il mondo? Bene.
Che dice il cielo? Tuona.
E la chitarra...suona!!!
Sei felice? A volte.
Hai distrazioni? Molte.
E la salute? Buona.
E la chitarra...suona!!!

Cosa ti piace? Viaggiare.
Tra il dire e il fare? Il mare.
Cosa ti piace? Viaggiare.
Tra il dire e il fare? Il mare.
Cosa ti piace? Viaggiare.
Tra il dire e il fare? Il mare.
Cosa ti piace? Viaggiare.
Tra il dire e il fare? Il mare.

Lorenzo Jovanotti Cherubini

Bad news for peeping toms

2008-05-09T15:37:00.002+02:00

How to locate pinhole cameras.

Bad news for the non-exhibitionists

2008-04-24T21:23:00.002+02:00

Everything started from this (spamming) e-mail:

How to detect a 2-way mirror when we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc.? How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror? There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms. It is very difficult to positvely identify the surface by just looking at it. It's time to get paranoid. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty? Well, once again, I am here to enlighten you. Just conduct this simple test:

Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a gap between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a genuine mirror. However, if your fingernail directly touches the image of your nail, then beware, for it is a 2-way mirror! You can further ascertain the nature of the suspect surface by hurling an object (e.g. a chair!) at it. The chair will go through.

So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test". It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do, and it might save you from getting "visually raped"!

Share this with your girlfriends.

Snopes says the "fingernail test" might work, but not necessarily.

Bad news for the old ladies

2008-04-14T11:21:00.003+02:00

Sena oħra

2008-04-12T13:43:00.003+02:00

Meta jasal nofs April, jien inħobb nagħmel il-monologi. Jekk intom ma tħobbuwhomx, mel'allura taqrawx aktar u għalqu din it-tieqa immedjatament (jaf tisplodi wara xi ħames minuti wkoll).

1982 - twelid. Michael Jackson tħajjar isir abjad u Spielberg ivvinta l-ET. Kont nara ħafna nies jilbsu mitt elf kulur u jmorru għand il-barbier biex itellgħu xagħarhom bħal mixtla fil-ġnien tal-Argotti. Apparti Charles Arrigo (Alla jaħfirlu) jirrakkonta r-rumanzi tax-xabla u t-turban fuq Xandir Malta, it-televiżjoni kienet għanqbuda ta' stazzjonijiet Sqallin – minn Roberto il Baffo sas-saqqijiet tal-Eminflex sa’ Mike bongiorno bir-rota tal-fortuna tiegħu. Qbiżna fin-disgħinijiet u Cobain deffes xi arma f’ħalqu... li probabilment ħalla effett fuq dak il-ġgant (metaforikament u litteralment) ta’ Quentin Tarantino għax ħlief jordna glalen ta’ demm ma bediex jagħmel (għall-films, s'intendi). Ħallietna Diana, ħallietna Tereża (is-soru) u dorna għall-2000 (għal xi raġuni kulħadd jiftakar x’kien qed jagħmel meta qalbet is-sena 2000! Jien niftakar ukoll... imma mhux ħa ngħid... għax hekk.). Fl-2004 bdiet l-avventura tiegħi fiċ-ċivil. Fl-2007 bagħatu għalija Kastilja u dak li kellu jkellimni ma setgħux isibuh. Ġie ieħor li ma tantx deher ħa gost bija u qalli li rrid nitla' ġirone ieħor. Minn dakinhar għadda ftit aktar minn sena.

Nista' nkompli nitħaddet x’se jiġri imma m'għandix flus għall-qarrejja tax-xorti.

Lura

2008-04-02T15:24:00.003+02:00

Min qal li l-blogs addictive? Wara xi 3 xhur erġajt ġejt s'hawn inlaħħam lil dal-blog megħlub.

U min qal li l-materjaliżmu ħażin u jwittilek t-triq għal ħruq tal-infern (u ta' Sant'Antnin)? Dan l-aħħar persuna b'qalb twajba u kbira daqs il-ħofra ta' Guatemala għoġobha tirregalali l-kbir iPhone. Ma nista' ngħid xejn fuqu li diġa ma ntqalx - biċċa inġinerija li kważi kważi timbuttalek demgħa bil-kommozzjoni.

Mhux ħażin għal xi ħadd li ma jafx li jeżistu image consultants.

Christmas time

2007-12-24T09:11:00.000+01:00

Wishing you a blissful Christmas.

"I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys." - Charles Dickens

Virtual funnies

2007-12-19T18:57:00.000+01:00

A virtual trip around the recent blooming of the social networking websites (predominantly facebook, hi5 and wayn) can sometimes really crack you up. I am particularly referring to those comments on the right hand side of the screen which users can post on other users' profiles and which are usually machine-generated, all the more eating out the social concept on which those websites are based. I have reproduced some of them hereunder, with the intent of lifting your spirits high up beyond the sky's limits:

- 97% of u wont send this:When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of u.If u're a part of the 3% that care send to 10 ppl and c wat He does 2nite;

- Looks like it's a HUGS WAR

- YOU BETTER HUG ME NOW!
Pass this hug to all of
your FRIENDS and back
to me, see how many
you get back!
~~~***HUGGGGG***~~~;

- ♥●♥ Xanna dolorr ?? kolloxx il-fuqq ghandek hiqhiq .. ♥●♥

- (This is for girls only, otherwise delet it)IF YOU HAD ME ALONE... LOCKED UP IN YOUR ROOM FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS & I HAD TO DO WHAT EVER YOU WANTED ME TO, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH ME? TELL ME IN MY INBOX .. CUZ ITS A SECRET... THEN SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR CONTACTS... YOU MIGHT BE SUPRISED WITH THE RESPONSES YOU GET. THEY COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH OR EVEN SMILE .. LOL.IF YOU DONT REPOST THIS YOU ARE A COWARD AND ARE TOO AFRAID TO SEE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES YOU.SEND THIS TO EVERYONE....

- THE HOLIDAY MOON WAR HAS STARTED, MOON EVERONE U CAN EXCEPT THE ONE WHO GOT U. KISS MY ASS I GOT U FIRST! :-]

- Believe me I'll follow this could be easy I'll be the help whenever you need me I see you hustle wit my hustle I Can keep you Focused on yo focus I can feed you.

- ...u hekk hu...zvergnajtlek il-hajt

And there's also Mortimer the travelling bear in disguise.

New website layout

2007-12-10T18:54:00.000+01:00

It’s been more than a year since I last altered the layout of my website and I thought maybe the time has come to give it a new face lift by actually including some lighter colours. The thought of reconstructing everything got me lethargic everytime I executed flash. Last summer I started making some initial drafts which looked crap compared to this one and which eventually kept pulling me back to the drawing board.

I also kept on learning new commands in actionscript (the loadMovie command is a real bitch – avoid using the _root thingie for your own sake) which had me confirming how powerful this programming language is compared to html for example.

Go on now, please yourself! :)

Oh, the irony!

2007-10-29T14:16:00.000+01:00

Taking pictures of people is probably the thing I love doing most but I'm terribly edgy when I'm at the other side of the lens (even though my posed self-portraits do not seem to suggest so);

I adore a wide array of chocolate varieties but my taste buds despise with a passion chocolate ice cream;

I love everything about Italy; culture, nature, the people's attitude towards life, cuisine, their way of putting words but can't stand the national Italian soccer team (I don't support the British one either, I'm all for Germany!);

I consider the Bible as one of the best books ever written with all its metaphors, parables and teachings. I'm also a proud owner of Marilyn Manson's Last Tour On Earth, Mechanical Animals and Portrait of An American Family.

Raw milk would undeniably make me shit my guts out if not puke like a drunkard teen. But my intestines seem to accept and greet with a warm welcome an endless list of dairy products like mayonnaise, mozzarella, cheese, cheeselets, ice cream, cream and ricotta.

My skin is pretty allergic to wool, the sun, and some types of plants. However I am usually told that dark skin is the most resistant type of skin in hot climates such as the Mediterranean one.

24

2007-10-24T20:39:00.000+02:00

Iċċekkjat il-ħin - 07.24am. Qaħbeċ, qiegħda tard! Niżlet qisha miġnuna it-tlieta u għoxrin tarġa qisha waħda qiegħda taħrab minn ġiex tużżani lpup imġewwħin u kienet se titfixkel fl-aħħar waħda. Startjat u peresli r-roti ma kienux minfuħin sew, inħassdu mill-ħeffa li bihom kellhom jgħaqqdu fuqhom innfushom. Werżqu tnejn bħala protesta u neħħew l-għażż bla rażan li nxteħet fuqhom matul il-lejl.

Traffiku. Eżatt bħalma kien erbgħa u għoxrin siegħa ilu, u bħalma probabbli se jkun erbgħa u għoxrin siegħa oħra. Intefgħet tgħodd waħda waħda s-siġar tal-ġenb tat-triq - dsatax. Dejjem l-istess tgħodd, qatt ma ħarbitilha waħda (darba minnhom qabel ma laħqet is-sbatax-il waħda daħlet ġo vann toyota li kien hemm quddiemha). Issa se jkollha tibda tgħodd aktar pero, għax fil-ġenb tat-triq lemħet sitt ħaddiema tal-gvern b'ilbies kulur jgħajjat iħawwlu ħamsa oħra.

Waslet qrib il-post tax-xogħol u qagħdet tipparkja bil-galbu (għax dejjem ftakret meta l-pulizija kien weħħilha mit-test għax qalbet tank hi u ssuq b'lura). Qabel daħlet fl-ispazju kbir li kellhom għall-parking, il-park attendant kien diġà taha ħarsa biex tiftakar fih hi u ħierġa. Is-soltu dejjem tnewwillu ħames xelini, imma illum tagħtu tnejn tal-lampuka, u erba' tal-ballotra... jekk tiftakar sew. Stennietu ħa jqarras wiċċu imma ma għamel l-ebda reazzjoni.

Fetħet il-bieb tal-uffiċċju u rat li kienu 08.39am, aktar minn nofs siegħa tard, imma mbagħad ftakret li dak kellu kwarta eżatt 'il quddiem aktar mill-arloġġ tagħha. Probabilment mexxieh il-messaġġier li dejjem moħħu biex jiskarta u miegħu igawdu l-bqija tal-ħaddiema l-oħra.

Ma ħlietx aktar ħin, xegħelet il-kompjuter u bdiet tara l-e-mails wieħed, wieħed. Ħdax minnhom kienu fuq prezzijiet diversi tal-viagra, ħamsa fuq it-tkabbir tal-ġenitali maskili, tnejn mingħand l-imgħallem u ħamsa oħra mingħand sħabha tax-xogħol fuq suġġetti varji; minn kwotazzjonijiet mill-bibbja sa preżentazzjoni bil-powerpoint b'ritratti ta' inżul ix-xemx f'Rio de Janeiro. Innuttat ukoll li wieħed minnhom mar direttament fit-trash can - mossa ġenjali li tgħallmitha mingħand iż-żagħżugħ il-ġdid fis-sezzjoni tal-IT.

Wara ftit minuti ġie jlebbet warajha Ġorġ in-nittien (kienu jgħidulu hekk għax darba ġie sospiż fuq xi ħaġa li ħadd eżatt ma jaf x'kienet imma li probabbli kienet sexual harassment) li dejjem kien isib xi ħaġa fuq xiex joħloq argument.

"Ara din, kif tissaportih il-ħin hekk? Bl-AM u l-PM jisirqulek nofs taskbar?! Taf li dak tista' tbiddlu għat-24 hour format?"

"Ħallini fil-paċi Ġorġ, għadu qas sebaħ!"

Deher li nkiser, u dabbar rasu 'l hemm b'denbu bejn saqajh.

Wara ftit irċeviet messaġġ fuq il-mobajl mingħand xi ħadd. Ġorġ is-soltu kien jaqbeż u jsaqsiha jekk kienx xi 'lover' ġdid imma did-darba ma qal xejn. Il-messaġġ kien jaqra hekk:

"happy lucky bday swt! ure 24 on d 24th!"

'Idjota', qalet f'qalbha u dlonk ħassret il-messaġġ. Ġorġ qisha bdiet tieklu l-kurżità u mil-bogħod saqsiha minn kien biex reġa' ħa r-risposta tas-soltu; "mhux affarik!". Reġa' inkiser u għaddas rasu ġol-iskrin itaptap fuq tastiera storbjuża.

Imbagħad bħal qisu intebaħ b'xi ħaġa. "Int daqt se jkollok il-birthday hux?" u taha ħarsa li jagħti tifel ta' 8 snin lil ommu wara li jkun għadu kif mar jaqdiha mingħand tal-grocer.

"Iva... għada suppost" qaltlu nofs qalb.

Film

2007-10-11T20:14:00.000+02:00

Spot on, if you ask me...

Film as a word conjures up something special. A unique feeling. Almost a different texture than words like movie or video. When someone asks you to go see a movie on the weekend you think, “Oh cool, that’ll be fun,” but if someone asks you to go to a film festival the feeling you get is entirely different. It feels like an investment of your time, one for which you want to plan accordingly and enjoy thoroughly.

Siworae

2007-09-17T20:16:00.000+02:00

Immaġinak wasalt f'punt fejn se tbiddel id-dar li kellek ħdejn il-baħar mimlija hena u sliem. Ħabba raġunijiet li m'għandekx kontroll fuqhom kellek tabbandunaha u tmur toqgħod aktar lejn iċ-ċentru. Ftit qabel ma titlaq tinduna li tkun ordnajt xi affarijiet u nsejt tagħti istruzzjonijiet ċari lil bejjiegħa bl-indirizz il-ġdid tiegħek. Tiġik idea. Peresli jkunu qorbu l-festi tal-Milied u l-ewwel tas-sena, fil-kaxxa tal-ittri tad-dar ta' ħdejn il-baħar tħalli kartolina lis-sid il-ġdid u fil-ġewwieni tagħha tikteb hekk:

"17 ta' Diċembru 1999

Għażiż sid ġdid tad-dar,

L-ewwelnett nixtieq nawguralek Milied mill-isbah u sena mimlija riżq. Nilqgħek f'din id-dar il-ġdida u nispera li tkun ta' benevolenza għalik daqskemm kienet għalija. Nixtieq nżid ukoll biex jekk tirċievi xi ittri jew kotba indirizzati lili jekk jogħġbok ibagħthom f'dan l-indirizz t'hawn taħt.

Grazzi u milied hieni mill-ġdid

PS. Dawk il-marki tas-saqajn tal-kelb li hemm fl-intrata sibthom hemm qabel ma dħalt id-dar. Ippruvajt inneħħihom imma ma rnexxilix."

Tibda toqgħod fil-post il-ġdid fiċ-ċentru u dlonk tibda tħoss in-nuqqas ta' dik id-dar maġika li kellek. Ftit jiem jilħqu jgħaddu u fl-aħħar tirċievi mingħand sid id-dar il-ġdida:

"22 ta' Diċembru 1997

Għażiża sinjorina,

Grazzi tax-xewqat sbieħ tiegħek. Ħalli f'idejja rigward l-ittri u l-kotba. Kif appena jaslu dlonk nibagħthom fl-indirizz li tajtni. Pero naħseb ħadt żball fid-data. Sa fejn naf jien għadna fin-1997! Rigward il-marki tal-kelb, emminni, m'għandix idea fuq xiex qed titkellem għax jien s'issa għadni ma rajtx il-marki li semmejtli fl-ittra tiegħek."

Ittra hekk thallik perplessa u t-tnejn li intom tibqgħu tinsistu li qed tgħixu sentejn bogħod minn xulxin. L-istorja ma tiqafx hemm... tkompli... tkompli...

Brava, brava e brava

2007-08-20T20:42:00.000+02:00

Brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava, brava.

Ma xtaqtx kont hemm

2007-08-19T16:24:00.000+02:00

Lhudi josserva l-ismijiet ta' dawk kollha li mietu waqt il-Holocaust li, mingħajr ma jaf, sellifni n-naħa ta' wara ta' rasu biex nagħmel din l-istampa.

Tuni l-flus

2007-08-09T23:39:00.000+02:00

... u sserrħu l-kuxjenza. Jien, għallinqas, hekk nistħajjilhom itennu kull darba li tgħaddi persuna mgħaġġla minn ħdejhom.

Aktar stampi minn Praga u Dresden hawnhekk.

La femmina

2007-07-31T15:47:00.000+02:00

Ma come dev'essere una donna rispettabile, completa e riuscita? Più o meno così:

Una donna in carriera...

Una madre in famiglia...

Una puttana nel letto...

Ferħa bla temma

2007-07-27T19:03:00.000+02:00

Ħsibtni sibt is-soluzzjoni għal waħda mil-problemi l-aktar li nħabbat wiċċi magħhom - il-kalibrazzjoni tal-kuluri tal-monitor. Dan il-ġentlom għoġbu jitfagħha fl-aħħar nett tal-artiklu tiegħu li qed jitkellem fuq hardware għall-Apple, għedewwa eterni tal-PC hieni tiegħi.