The WordPlay Café Neologisms Contest

Help!

2008-02-08T16:14:00.000-06:00

If anyone has been paying attention (and I know you have), there has been a recent failure on my part to post any new neologism challenges. It's not that I can't think of anything—there is simply no time (in the foreseeable future anyway) for me to draw for the blog. In short, I'm being hammered with work. Not a bad problem to have, but being so leaves me with just enough time to sleep, eat, kiss the cat, pet my wife... wait.
But I digress. Check back occasionally to see if I've come back from the dead. In the meantime, check out this map I made (www.dogfoose.com/map.jpg).
Thanks for looking!

Ad-Junked

2008-01-11T17:53:00.000-06:00

Looking for a way to absolutely blow a couple o'million bucks? Then do what many advertisers do on Super Bowl Sunday, and put forward the worst idea ever. Sure, we applaud those finely-tuned commercials that keep us from our appointed powder room duties on that day of testosteronal bliss, but what about the ones that leave us retching? How do we refer to those 30-second stinkers? Call an audible!

Deadline for entries is noon, Friday, January 18. Next week: Candi-dated!
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I.C. Rhodes

2008-01-04T15:07:00.000-06:00

They may be made of water, but it's very hard water. As if the summer didn't have enough surprises for your car, the chillier season finds happiness in pouring icy potholes from the sky! They're often fleeting (depending on your locale I guess), but their damage can live on. So what do we call these cold-blooded obstructions, these crystal canyons? Have an ice day.

1st place: Potsicles (David G., Woodbridge, VA)
2nd place: Treadgedies (Chris H.)
3rd place: Hole shebang (2801aAudrey)
Honorable mention: N-ice one (cheez53)
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Porcelain Unplugged

2007-12-28T17:36:00.001-06:00

The pervasive holiday mug—purchased by us in a spirit of unbridled holiday procurement—does its annual job, but sits empty and forlorn the rest of the year. Owing to its themed appearance, this perfectly useful object is shelved for all but 2 or 3 weeks a year. We may not always see it, but it's there! So, what do we call it (and other objects like it)? Pour thing...

1st place: Cupbored (pl8speaker)
2nd place: Christmugs (Ivan88, Cleveland, OH)
3rd place: Whine stein (pl8speaker)
Honorable mention: Mug-grrrr (2801aAudrey)
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Presents of Mind

2007-12-21T13:45:00.000-06:00

Isn't it nice to receive presents? Especially when those "thoughts of giving" are encased in 9 miles of decorated paper, 42 square feet of cardboard and bubble wrap, and 18 pounds of tissue. The actual gift (we'll tackle this subject later) itself comprises about 2% of the actual mass, but we are left to deal with the holiday flotsam. So what name do we give to these severely over-wrapped objects of affection? No peeking....

1st place: Gift-trapped (waverider, Auckland, NZ)
2nd place: Wraptilian Attack (Bonnie K.)
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Flakes of a Feather

2007-12-13T11:01:00.001-06:00

Most scientists will tell you that no two snowflakes are identical. We say HOGWASH! The only reason for their skepticism is that no one has ever come up with a name for these rare but delightful hexagonal twins. So (knowing full well the editorial wrath of Nature magazine is about to strike us), what do we call these freaks of winter? Come on you snow-it-alls!

1st place: Identicolds (pl8speaker)
2nd place: Sixual deviants (Dunn M., Oakland, CA)
3rd place: Fro-zen (verbal herb)
Honorable mentions: Snow big deal (blitzen)
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Primetime Wasteland

2007-12-07T14:40:00.001-06:00

Oh no! This can't be happening! You testosterone-filled "keepers of the clicker" know exactly what we're talking about here. Every now and then you'll begin your fevered search for something better, only to be bested by 185+ channels... of COMMERCIALS!! Despite having a lightning thumb, there is no content in Mudville this day.
So what do we call this media limbo, this brief but painful lack of programming? [Batteries not included.]

1st place: Chanulling (anonymous)
2nd place: Advertsity (Lea R., San Francisco, CA)
3rd place: Tiv-no (verbal herb)
Honorable mentions: Faux-gramming (blitzen)
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The Line in Winter

2007-11-30T10:50:00.001-06:00

It's that time of year again. As courteous shoppers, we are inevitably confronted with the person to whom all rules of strip mall etiquette do not apply. These line-halting, box opening, price-complaining, and socially unaware mavens of the marketplace are out in force right now, but what kind of a "tag" do we hang on them? Price check!

1st place: Mallcontents (Darryl F., UK)
2nd place: Cart Hog-grapher (Richard L., San Diego, CA)
3rd place: Cou-pawns (anonymous)
Honorable mentions: Resident Carter (pilotfish, NJ)
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The One That Got Away

2007-11-23T13:33:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year, unless you're a turkey. Occasionally one of those holiday icons will slip the surly bonds of grandma's rotisserie—until next year anyway. So how do we refer to these "grate-escapists?" Warm it over in your mind and shoot us, uhmmm..., send us your entry.

1st place: Freekey(Dunn M., Oakland, CA)
2nd place: Phan-Tom (pl8speaker)
3rd place: Poulfree (Carla C., FL)
Honorable mentions: Poultrygeist (Evelyn C., Wichita, KS); Tom Call-ins (t-swifter, CO); Scoffowls (anonymous)
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Deep in the Heart of Texting

2007-11-16T14:25:00.000-06:00

Texting? The word "text" is a noun, and the phrase "I texted him" sounds just plain stupid and clumsy. Shirley, we can do better than this.
Now's your chance to say "I said it first!" So what shall we call it?

1st place: Feemail (dunderbot, San Diego, CA)
2nd place: Weemail (Jennifer, Baltimore, MD)
3rd place: Thumbmail (waverider, Auckland, NZ)
Honorable mention: Phexting (as in phone texting—Will, Valley Center, KS)
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Attach attack

2007-11-09T13:39:00.000-06:00

We can all identify with this one. You're about to send an email that is overpopulated with references to the attached image or document, and you're overjoyed with how well you've assembled the entire missive.
Then you send it. Then you realize you forgot to attach the relative file.
So what do we call this relatively recent phenomenon?

1st place: Mailnutrition (Chris C., Wichita, KS)
2nd place: Filefaux pas (verbalherb, U.K.)
3rd place: Dettachments (Andy B., Toronto)
Honorable mention: ADD - Attachment Deficit Disorder (Chris C., Wichita, KS)
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Car Talk (not the radio show)

2007-11-04T10:05:00.000-06:00

You grab your groceries, pocket your keys, and head for the larder, but your car still has something to say! Tink, tunk, donk, whatever. So, what exactly do we call those noises? Time to put on your thinking hubcap.

1st place: Carcophony (Emily S., Charlotte, VT)
2nd place: Cartunes (Michelle D., Wichita, KS)
3rd place: Nash Rumblers (Andy B., Toronto)
Honorable mention: Toyotahhs (Brian H., Louisville, KY)
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Batter up?

2007-11-03T15:15:00.000-05:00

We've just witnessed (if you're a baseball fan of any kind) a recent smattering of this particular type of batter; the one that keeps backing in and out of the box, adjusting his batting glove (for the 28th time), checking his grip, bla, bla, bla. So what do we call this kind of baseball player?

1st place: Maybe Ruth (Brad G., Minneapolis, MN)
2nd place: A Lumbercheck (Margaret K., Salina, KS)
3rd place: The ump's ire (Todd T., Seattle, WA)
Honorable mention: Pro Crastinator (Eva M., Santa Fe, NM)
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