movement

a question.

2009-11-13T18:02:00.000Z

do relationships have expiry dates?

life + love

2009-09-27T20:36:00.001+01:00

this ashtangi is playing at life.

playing at calm,playing at cool.

and is very much in love.

may twelfth

2009-05-12T22:29:00.002+01:00

amazing things happen to day 16 ashtanginis!feel like I'm getting somewhere on headstands,as in I still can't lift up but am starting to find my balance and lose some fear,felt much more comfortable in the forward stretches, and here's the real one- marichi D right sight binded(with Guruji of course).and i got a good!felt more stable on uthita hasta padangusthasana and could stay longer on prasarita padattonasanas.

And to think I was contemplating not going11(not laziness,have exams next week)

may tenth

2009-05-10T23:35:00.002+01:00

Practised with anna today.awesome she is.

Missed my practice (Saturday,Friday=Moon Day,Thursday couldn't go to shaala but did some sun salutations at home),glad to be back.

Need to breathe and get through this week, and the next..

may sixth

2009-05-07T00:09:00.003+01:00

time does fly..i like that analogy,time flying,i guess when we think of flight we think of movement and thus time flies...

day ten went by,without a hitch.i can foresee a potential hitch tomorrow though-can't make am@shaala as am going to Heathrow to meet moondizzy.And have classes till 1800 and then meeting Ms P for lunch.so its either a 5 am short practice at home or a late night practice?5 am looks unlikely as a)don't like practicing with a time limit b)had a rather large,rather late dinner!

But don't want to skip Day 11 as Day 12 is a moon day and Day 13 is a Saturday!

but why i really came to my movement page is to talk about my revision strategy.Quite honestly,from the past few days, I won't say that its working. Spending way too much time on the go. But don't really know how to change it.For example tomorow- Heathrow,PIL revision class, then Trademarks revision class till 1800,meeting Ms P for dinner,home. When shall I revise? Even those few hours @university are spent having lunch,printing,queueing,bumping into people.I suppose just being on a timetable makes me unable to relax.And when I'm not relaxed, my brain doesn't process information, it just looks to what I need to do next.

So what can I do? The best I can I suppose.And take as much time as possible to stay at home,undistracted. Friday I'll have the whole day and then I'm taking the evening off-seeing Judi Dench and then dinner +perhaps dancing. Hope the evening plans won't distract me in the day-I will try my best not to let it. Have a class on Saturday,can't avoid,but Sunday and Monday should be okay to be at home.Tuesday whole day is gone in classes and some of Wednesday. I guess its back to doing the best I can,as I can't see a way to skip classes.

Ideally if I could calm my mind I could speak to people and not let it bother me, and I could read before + after + in between classes.Lets hope and pray that I can do so:)

Came back to edit this post for a bit of shaala gossip.Okay here goes.I am just a fly-on-the-wall observer by the way.In the shaala I just seem to be non judgmental and just observe.Not saying this to cover my back(lol) but I guess I still very young and new to the shaala (its been about a year and 5 months now but I'm still the youngest) and I am new to the West as well! Like I've mentioned in other posts, being from the East makes it completely normal for me to trust and follow my teacher and to be grateful for his instruction and not to question him.

So I've been noticing how mad people get when they have to queue for a spot( non yogis, the shaala is small and there are limited spaces, so if it is full you'll have to wait till someones finished then you can start your practice) and do people get mad. they compete with each other like crazy for the spot, its dog eat dog.Some people complain loudly about the whole system.

The shaala is always busy.I went on Sunday around 0830 and on Monday(Bank holiday) around 0900 and it was busy both days.Today (a Wednesday) I went at 0900 and it was still busy.So there's no getting around it!To be honest I feel a bit amused but I suppose I have that luxury,being a student and having nowhere to go.I feel so grateful to practice at AYL, that I'm happy to wait for hours just to have a small practice.Maybe thats just because I'm used to that Eastern attitude.

Anyway,Sirsana really is different with Guruji.With him I feel like I;m flying somehow.My legs just go up and its just FUN! The other couple of times I did it with Denise and Louise, man it was WORK! I even started dreading it!

Savasana-I need to sort that out seriously.My brain goes- Aashna don't sleep.Other side of brain goes-sleep a bit...just a bit.I never fall asleep but drift into this weird about to sleep mode.

may first

2009-05-01T10:54:00.002+01:00

day 5 has gone by without any hassles....yes many things are new.Every time I start and stop my ashtanga practise I notice that there are new areas of my body that hurt, and new areas that don't.Favourite poses become tough and the ass-busters become well,relatively okay.

have been having trouble not being stressed out even while doing yoga!today's stresses were the too many hours I spend not on the internet, but worrying about the prospect of being anoyed by people on the internet- to explain, I'm very emotional and sometimes something someone wrote to me on gmail or facebook will upset me immensely.I know this happens for everyone, but it particularly bothers me when I'm in the zone to study and then suddenly something goes bam and my whole mood is gone.anyway, it stayed with me through, but afterwards going to tesco and seeing the sunshine in the front yard, and snap, and it was gone.Removed the gmail and fb links from my bookmarks bar, and plan to go online for half an hour every day.Either in the morning or the evening, and never during a study break.

As for the king of asanas, I seem to have a fear of balancing rightly!I seem to go over, bending my rib cage out so that it looks back-bendy. Trying hard to remedy, but some kind of fear keeps me from reaching to the other side.Have been feeling strange upside down lately.Upside down was my favourite,spent a lot of my childhood upside down- now it seems a bit strange,like I have to get used to it.And the fact that I can't breathe doesn't help!Must spend more time hanging from monkey bars!

Gorgeous and sunny outside...have a lovely day yogis..

twenty eight april

2009-04-28T11:15:00.002+01:00

self practise today.yes, the '5 more minutes' after switching off the 5 am alarm.you know how your body feels after the first day of practise, all it wants it rest and recovery and fluids.

but need to combat this feeling- its just the first few days (5 I think) and then my body toughens up.instead of despairing at my 5 am miss (well I despaired a little, and also am still working up the guts to ask Hamish if I can come at 10 am when I miss 6 am,surely the shaala is not so busy then?) I got on the mat at home and did my whole practice except Marichi D and Sirsasana.

With regards to awareness, mine hasn't been amazing recently but I'm not worrying about it.Nor am I worryin about Mula Bandha(also am still finishing moonday). Even during Savasana mind will wander, well,race actually.But I've found the thing to do is not worry and keep going with my practise.

I want to apply the lessons I learn in yoga to my life- so for my studies, just keep going, don't worry if mind wanders, just do it..

Noticed my bleeding foot afterwards-deja vu of the time the same happened at AYL, and I took the mat home to wash, fell asleep on the long bus ride home, and left the mat on the bus being disorientated and waking up at just my stop.I was so embarassed to tell Guruji!But he was cool, he said now someone else can use it:)

Need to put my bandage on, and get my irie on :)

twenty seventh april

2009-04-27T08:58:00.003+01:00

according to movement, the last time I did a session at the shala was on 15th December. So congratulations to me for getting back on the mat :)

I'm just reminded of the excruciating pain we put ourselves through! All the forward bending poses, ouch on the legs. Oo today in the king of asanas, while going up, and again coming down, I felt a vicious pain in my lower back. Didn't warm myself up enough? Didn't stay long enough in Navasana (I didn't cheat Navasana, was tempted to stop at 4, but I didn't, couldn't lift myself up though).

And my favourite scratch on the upside of foot while trying to to do the jump-through is back!

All in all, a good practice, good sweat, feelin' fine :)

The evening after- had to nap today in the evening-up at 9 pm and some crazy body aches and dhydration going on,aah the first day back...

Sharath Ragaswamy coming to London!No way I can miss this!

Was thinking about taking up the 30 day challenge but I'm sure I've done more before..so just as long as I'm in London wil suffice

Between yoga and Madeleine Peyroux (listening to Careless Love now) I feel so happy to be alive.

21 days to exams. I can do this.

one song for everyone

2009-04-16T00:24:00.005+01:00

wouldn't it be nice, if we all knew one song, and could sing along?

the idea came to be during Trilok Gurty's encore at the Jazz Cafe- he played a tune that many were singing along to, pretty and melodic.It's so nice when people share like that..

good show.not mind blowing,but I REALLY enjoyed the last song he played (encore time). It makes sense to not madly love everything for me though, firstly I've become more critical (hey I went to see Hervie Hancock live!!) and also I can't take all his albums. But I am a big fan of his, no doubt, and I enjoyed. Just didn't go into the trance like state I sometimes do. Enjoyed him speaking though, very articulate, funny, audience engaging.

Bought a Songlines magazine + now listening to Songlines Top of the Worls. Fun!

Recovering from yesterday's eye operation still.

Off to listen to the apprentice now :)Trilok Gurtu – Ten Fifty Two

(download spotify if ur in the UK or anywhere else they have it.Trilok Gurtu – Have We Lost Our Dream?

Trust me, you won't regret it..)

Trilok played a track based upon an event in the Bhagavad Gita and another called Glimpses..about the Lord we never get to glimpse yet try so hard..

No Line on The Horizon

2009-04-12T19:08:00.003+01:00

'The bit that distracted me from the triumphant performance was the moment the band began to play “City of Blinding Lights,” from “How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.” The crowd went berserk, as it had been doing fairly consistently all night. (Many big arena shows hit a perceptible longueur somewhere around Hour 2, but U2’s don’t.) The audience was going perceptibly more berserk for this particular song. I realized that I was hearing, for the third or fourth time, the evening’s loudest applause for a recent single. When the band played the first U2 song I ever encountered, 1980’s “I Will Follow,” the crowd seemed fairly happy, though in a slightly polite way. (This is the inverse of the “Satisfaction” effect, easily witnessed at any Stones show.) What other band, three decades into the game, gets its most intense audience reaction with new songs? There is no need to stage a legend Olympics between U2 and AC/DC and the Eagles and the Allman Brothers and the Stones—plenty of bands are holding up well into their rock-and-roll winter. But the only band of this vintage consistently generating new hits that bring in a younger crop of fans every five years is U2. What U2 song do my pre-teen sons know? “Vertigo,” from 2004.'

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/musical/2009/04/06/090406crmu_music_frerejones?currentPage=all

No plagiarism issues please- I didn't write this- above is a quote from the article in The New Yorker by Sasha Frere -Jones.

Brilliant observation. I observe myself, U2 fan since the days of my own pre-teens. And surely, when I go to see them (you note I say when, yes we must be optimistic), I will feel a rush when i hear the opening sounds of Magnificent- at present my 'on repeat' track from No Line.

Revisiting this post to write more about No Line.This album was the reason I downloaded Spotify, having heard that U2's new album was out via trusty facebook, and that I could listen to it for free from Spotify (whose name I had memorised from an In-Flight magazine flying from Dubai-London).. and the rest is history. I don't search for random stuff on Spotify, it's more like repeat listening to 'No Line' and some other albums I like.I really like No Line.Some may say its familiar but since I've already established I like U2's sound...works for me !!Fez-Being Born, I must say is very different. Magnificent is my all time favourite. My top song.

gettin' ma groove on

2009-04-11T18:21:00.004+01:00

i have realised that all i need to do to ace my exams is get my confidence back. and i'm not talking smug,secret smiley confidence (although that is definitely part of the deal). I'm talkin' confidence to the point of being arrogant, unbearably smug and just being one of those totally up themselves jackasses who you just cannot bear to be in the same room as. The type of person who you think really needs to realise that they are just one of a million, and it takes all of your 'DESTROY THE EGO' mantras just to stand each sentence that comes out of their mouths.

The type of person who makes you think, dam, that's why the world is so harsh for some, its because this type of arrogant egoistic twits exist who think SO MUCH of themselves that no one else matters.The kind of person that makes you realise that you are so happy you didn't get trapped in that bubble, that you know better and in this realisation you realise that you consider yourself one up on them, exactly what you (presumably) want to avoid...

And the type of person that makes you feel glad that you can hold your own. That you are young, beautiful, fit, intelligent, come from a good family (oh yes it matters) and whether or not you believe in them, according to 'CRITERIA' you fit- you worked in top places, got good grades, know the right people, or better yet, don't care about the people cos you can.

You know who I mean?

Well that's who I need to be. And believe it or not, that person ain't too far from my former self. Before I accepted (why did I ever accept) that I'm the lazy, confused type of jackass, I had that confidence. The confidence to believe that I am a FORMIDABLE OPPONENT. That I could lead not only LSE's debate team but WIN against Harvard (or NSU, they seem pretty formidable too). That I could be on LSE's Mooting Team and take my team to the Finals. That I can be the best dancer without practising except in my head. That I could win essay competitions and have my articles published in the Times.and most importantly, that i could skip all my lectures, all my classes, bunk my readings, sleep if I felt like it, wake up and bunk school cos I felt watching Dance Like A Man was better for my happiness and my soul, and continue to do so for THREE YEARS, and at the end, study for 3 weeks (maybe 16 days realistically, of real studying) and still KICK EVERYONE'S ASS and continue to live the same way for the rest of my life. I AM THE FORMIDABLE OPPONENT whom other students see and think its not FAIR that I have to compete with HER.

space is the place

2009-03-11T12:45:00.001Z

Okay, for those of you who have downloaded the wonderful spotify, search Sun Ra and listen to 'Space is the Place' (there are a few that come up, I'm working my way through them now)

Jerry Dammers and the Spatial Orchestra! Are the people I went to see at the Barbican.It was an awesome gig, a tribute gig to Sun Ra and some others.

Sun Ra hailed from Saturn, and his sounds are accordingly cool and spacey and jazzy. So was the stage and the performers- spaceship on stage, cool costumes, headdresses, the works! Having heard of Sun Ra's tune Saturn through Jamie Cullum's show on BBC Radio 3, I was a little bit familiar and really enjoyed myself, they played tributes to Alice Coltrane and some others too.

Amazing collection of musicians including Zoe Rahman and Patrick Illingworth (both looking very cool in their space-age outfits). It always amazes me how musicians in this country work together on such interesting projects and do such cool things ! I mean, they do their own thing but can also be led + collaborate with others. V shanti-ful.

They entered and left the stage in a chanting chain, playing instruments and being very spacey-

One of my favourite tunes was the Batman theme song- done in a jazzy way- wow I wish I could get ahold of that.

Another awesome one which you must check out is SPACE IS THE PLACE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90_dHd_ZgnA&feature=related

living in the moment

2009-03-11T01:39:00.000Z

movement: the jungle

My friend texted me today,writing to me about his work. The ultimate line was 'But all I really want is the jungle!' Got me thinking, (as everything does), and I realised I haven't thought of the jungle for a while (daydreams have been on mermaids and lagoons,blue dreams,jungle dreams are lush green ones...)

The way I think, I'm always planning ahead, looking forward,thinking about yoga, dancing, looking forward to a crazy life, travelling the world, so many things I think about,so many songs I listen to and pictures I draw, in my mind..

And I have been doing that,of course. Imagining myself dancing, drawing... but what I'm trying to say is, that right now, I am so into what I'm doing, living this moment, so intensely into my life and the way it is right now- that I don't really wish myself to be somewhere else. I am really into my degree and sorting yoga out and wanting to get into this routine and finding academic satisfaction, and I realised today that this is really beautiful. This is where I always think about gettingto, and right now I feel like I am there..I don't know if it will last, but for now,I am living my life, the way I want to, thinking about the now.

space is the place

2009-03-11T01:06:00.001Z

'nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part..'

concert was excellent...wanted to write a litttle bit more...but coldplay is carrying me away...

the test

2009-03-10T16:41:00.002Z

Feeling very positive about this term's work and the upcoming Easter break during which I will kick revisions bum and really grasp all 4 of my subjects, I went to see my personal tutor. Unfortunately she advised me against sitting the exams based on my patchy attendance and lack of coursework. I am feeling very down about this. My bubble just kind of burst.
It's a true test for me, to see if I can ride this positive wave and believe in myself enough to not let stuff get to me.

Anyway moments after that Zoe called me to say she has kept a ticket for me if I want it for her show tonight at the Barbican ! I am feeling much cheered.Here is the link-
http://www.barbican.org.uk/music/event-detail.asp?ID=8458

I must not despair and continue with my PIL coursework, which is due in on Thursday.

freedom

2009-03-08T02:16:00.000Z

i feel so free.lying in my bed, listening to U2, writing my blog...

22 and counting

2009-03-08T01:58:00.002Z

there's a second layer of lines under my eyes ! seriously! I see my friends sometimes and the lines under their eyes, wow, what these years of studying have done to us, and I'm so pleased I don't study too much !Well didn't study too much, I think this second layer of lines has settled because of study stress and I think its here to stay!
Jurisprudence essay due in Tuesday. I read Robert Reiner's chapter in full and didn't really understand it....oh dumb is me.
I really want to write my book now. Maybe after my exams.
news on the yoga front? well, good news. will start for sure in 2 weeks when classes are over. and this time i'm serious
other news on the yoga front- I think its going well. I mean the thought process. Not in terms of individual situations, but overall, as a whole, I think I'm more chilled out :)
And, a year anniversary of my oum tattoo has passed. Peace to you people :)

fifteenth december

2008-12-15T08:25:00.001Z

i can finally write about yoga again, yes I went to the shala.
Hadn't slept all night so was a bit all over the place. And very inflexible and slippery but I enjoyed myself oh. so much.
to many more...

2008-12-05T03:02:00.001Z

disjointed
disconnected
inside myself,unsure
delving further inside
tangled,despising
trapped,unable to see
the web i'm in
let me call this person X
who,somehow i want to relate to
all i ever know
is i am alone

Nov 26th, 2008

2008-11-27T02:26:00.003Z

Right now I'm stuck to the breaking news from Mumbai-
http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/video/video_live.aspx?id=0
For the benefit of later readers, Taj, Trident, under siege, terrorist attack, no real news, about 80 dead,110 injured ( as far as is known), Oberoi, other hotels also attacked, over 150 people trapped in hotels. Reporters trying hard to bring in news but everyone seems equally unsure about what's going on

0306 GMT A guest at the hotel, Deepak, spoke to NDTV using his telephone. He was very calm and said that telephone operators at the Taj were keeping them informed via intercom. He had been told to keep the blinds down and turn the lights out.He congratulated the Taj's management and mourned the loss of the valiant police officers who gave their lives trying to protect the guests.

i love, my life

2008-11-13T16:52:00.002Z

i'm riding a very positive wave for the past few days
chaos is in its natural order all around me
and i am not coping but riding, choosing not moving along.
thoughts and thoughts and thoughts don't cloud my brain but colour it
and it is all mine

the jungle

2008-10-27T00:00:00.001Z

A place in my mind’s eye, when people and beings around me weigh me down, weigh me down with expectations and love and my own yearnings for people, for love bind me into never ending samsara. A place I go to, threaten to retire to, go for peace, go for release..
When samsara overcomes me and desire overtakes me, when being human, living, every little aspect, seems black, even what is light and beautiful and true at other times.
When feelings can’t be controlled and you fear for yourself and the person you may become..
The jungle. A life alone. Away from society. I see green, lush,lush green. I see myself alone and away from societies nuances, art, drama, flirtations, love..
I chose. I chose to live in this concrete jungle, to live within the shackles of samsara. But every now and again, I forget why..

expectations

2008-10-26T23:50:00.002Z

i feel weighed down.
light, love and tiptoes...that's where i want to be.
heavy, stilled and unmoving- that's where i feel i am.

melodies

2008-10-23T23:09:00.002+01:00

last night went to see arun ghosh at the vortex. Really lovely,Arun Ghosh on clarinet, Kishon Khan on piano, Idris Rahman on tenor saxophone, Liran Donin on bass, Pat Illingworth on drums and Nilesh Gulhane on table. What a line up.I was drawn into it with full intensity from the first note.

this year has been awesome for gigs. On the 19th we went to see Julia Biel at Cafe Koha. Her voice...it just takes me away into this other world...she was followed by Phil King, who was lovely too, reminded me of my love JJ (Jack Johnson) in some ways... but like I said the world, the beautiful parallel universe that i'm taken to by the beautiful songbird, it's so hard to come back down, for some time i cannot function but simply absorb the lingering remnants of the music she creates..

while listening to the space and sounds arun + band created i realised, as i am realising all the time, how much i will miss london. and side by side, realsing, with a sense of finality, that i will actually leave london

(SO SHE SAYS)

saddho re

2008-10-21T01:57:00.002+01:00