Life or Something Like (B)it

STOP!

2008-04-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

Don't touch that comment button! Instead, hie yourself to... www.sunlightsucks.com. Please update your feed readers.

Thank you. This shop is now closed!

Weiners!

2008-04-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough day. I had a number of decisions to make. I'm not going to go into all of them right now, but suffice to say that this blog will be a-changing! Soon. Changes for the better. The downside is that you'll all have to update your blogrolls because a new address is part of the package.

Part of the changes coming to my "Batty" blog are due in part to the fact that I have weiners, er winners for you! Yes, the tagline search has come to an end. An unexpected end. Here's the deal: I loved everything that was offered up. I couldn't make up my mind. David from BellaDaddyBlog sent me "Fangs For the Memories", but that's the name of a Kathy Love book. (A really good book too!) I liked the Absurdist's "Sunlight Is Overrated". I liked it a lot. But it reminded me of Britt's tagline. I'll come back to this tagline in a minute.

So, I was still pondering the taglines while Jester helped me out with the new Wordpress theme. I mentioned to him how I changed the verbiage on the Comment Luv to say that it's trying to sink its fangs into your last post, please wait while it finds a vein. Jester laughs and replies, "I vant to suck your blog!" BINGO. My kid and I both went, "THAT'S IT!" In one fell swoop, without even meaning to, Jester won.

Now, going back to the Absurdist's tagline, I kept mulling it over in my head because I really did like it a lot. However, to move the idea away from Britt's tagline, I kept thinking of it as "Sunlight Sucks". Last night, while letting WP kick my ass and make me cry, I got the idea of just moving the whole kit and kaboodle. I mean, wouldn't it make it a little harder for the hunter from my office to find me? Not that I'm hiding. I'd just like to make it harder for them on principle. So the Absurdist also wins. I registered sunlightsucks.com tonight.

And there we have it. Two weiners, er winners! Congratulations to Jester and the Absurdist. I am going to try to make a t-shirt with the bat logo on it now. If that doesn't work out, they can still have the Bar t-shirt. A t-shirt with fangs. Yummo. Thanks to everyone who participated. I appreciate the effort you all put into my need for a tagline.

One last thing, thanks to everyone for visiting Socially Dead. My kid has now pasted her underwear clad ass on her new blog for Half Naked Thursday. She even offered a crotch shot for next week. OY. How did I know she would fit in this well? Happy Friday to all! MUAH!

Nothing

2008-04-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

I have nothing for you today. You see, my daughter's new blog has left me envious. I like the way it looks. I like the way it works. It's not ME, but I like it. I've been wracking my brains for weeks on how to take my bats to Wordpress. Not that I've defeated the WP demons. I haven't. I've just garnered a little help from Fab and Jester. And I'm anal and tenacious.

If I had money, I would just hire someone to make me a new city skyline with bats and a full moon. Instead, I tried to find a Wordpress theme I could tweak. It's not 100% me/mine like a custom design would be, but I figure if I can get the bulk done, maybe I could afford to pay someone to make the small stuff work for me.

So I found a couple of possible themes. I found one in blue and white with yellow that does go okay with my header. I was leaning toward this one because so many bloggers hate the white text on the black background. Tweaking my graphic to make it work with this theme was a mother though. So I moved on to the black background theme. This one was much easier to work with. Looks like I'm stuck with the black background, white text though. (Sorry folks!) I guess the only thing I can say is that it's a damned vampire theme! Sunlight ain't their thing.

It all looks good. I've been testing it on my other domain rottnroll.com. I couldn't get the subdomain thing to work at all on rottnroll. Not sure what I did wrong and too tired to figure it out for a site that's not staying there. It's a 3 column theme. In the widgets, I can't figure out how to tweak the sidebars. Only one sidebar shows up on the widget page and in the drop down menu. *sigh* One more thing I don't know how to do.

I guess if I can make the theme work, and get all the pages set, I can turn off the forwarding on my subdomain and try to take this live on winterheart.com. Which got me thinking. Maybe I should just make this blog the domain name with a page that goes to the actual site stuff (Winter's Coffeehouse). It doesn't exactly sit well with me though. I've had Winter's Coffeehouse a very long time. A dozen years. Look at it. It's pretty. Nice and clean. Great template. I never finished converting over the poetry pages though. I'm a bum like that. I get tired and move on. I should really just do a page a week and eventually the whole thing will be done.

So, here's what's in my head: Finish tweaking the WP theme. Figure out the sidebar from hell. Decide whether to go with winterheart.com or winterblog.winterheart.com or whether to buy sunlightsucks.com. (I hate telling people to change their link for me in their blog rolls.) Or should I skip eating for a few weeks and just hire someone to do this for me, because I'm freaking exhausted and have no answers and forgot about my TT? Tell me what you think I should do, because I'm all out of answers.

It sucks to be an IT person. Everyone expects you to be able to do this shit. This is not my application server. This is CODE. CSS. PHP. I'm logical for the most part, so I can figure out some of it, but my personal cheering section is gone. He always tells me, "You can do it. You like logic puzzles." I keep expecting him to show up at my shoulder, but when I turn around, there's no one there and the room is silent. I guess this is why I have nothing for you today. WP kicked my ass. I'm such a wuss.

Whine over. Have a great Thursday. Hopefully, I'll have a TT or a Half Nekkid Thursday or something next week.

PS: Here is a screenshot. As you can see, I've done okay so far. My problem is the far right sidebar which does not show up in the drop down menu for widgets in WP. And the meta for that sidebar has no login. I'm clueless how to make that sidebar show up in widgets so I can add or remove things from it. I hate whining and crying like a girl. And stupid WP has brought me to that pass. I guess I'm gonna have to email or IM Jester for some professional assistance...

Socially Dead

2008-04-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

There is a reason I call my daughter the PITA. She can be a serious pest. (She can be the B word too, but I'm not going there today.) Once she decided that she wanted a blog, she pestered me. She kept saying she wanted to call it Sissies Go Home. She said it was a blog for the socially dead. I thought that was a pretty interesting phrase. I Whois'd it. Available. Then I came up with the tagline, Life is Tough, when you have no Life. The PITA got very excited. I told her the cost of a domain and hosting. That's when she said, "ME LIKEY. I WANT."

Spoiled brat.

So with the kind help of Jester, who set up Wordpress, email, and fixed my header dilemma, the PITA now has a blog. A blog that is far more stylish and cool than mine. A blog that will probably garner far more attention than her attention whore mother. Meh. I can live with that.

So please stop by Socially Dead and say hi to Motley. She already knows the likes of Jester, Fab, Dave's bad monkey, Karl's phallus, Matt's Sunday Disservice, Shiny (the girl), and MaryO. Next thing you know,she'll be doing a duet with Fab at the Big Honking Duet Show!

Before I sign off today I want to share some humpday hotness. I miss hotness. I need more hotness in my life. Today, I'm sharing Will Chalker with you. You straight men need to head to the bottom of this post. I'll share something else with you there. And now, here's Will, he of the luscious wheat colored hair and long lean... um muscles. I have a host of Will pics because my friend Jen used him to represent one of her characters at the Bar. At first, I wasn't all that taken with Will, but you know, those muscles grow on you. And once I saw him smiling in a pic (a Paco Rabanne Black ad) I was a goner.

For the men I have someone whom all the woman seem to think is hot. A little topless Eliza Dushku anyone? She certainly is hot. Personally, I liked Liz from last week better but Eliza's pretty damn hot too. Eliza too was chosen by Jen to represent one of her characters. Jen has an eye for what's hot. And, no. She doesn't have a blog. For those of you who write though, you will find her at JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood message board, where she's a moderator. I'm always envious when she says she's talked to the author on the phone. I can't be too envious though. She's gotten me every one of the BDB books signed!

I hope you enjoyed the Humpday Hotness, and if you get the chance, stop by Socially Dead. Have a great Wednesday!

Ugh

2008-04-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

That about sums up how I feel this morning. I might be getting a bug. Or it could just be that my sleep cycle is all discombobulated. Not sure. I do want to shoot Dummy. He bugged the hell out of me last night. I don't care how beautiful he is, I'm pissed at him. So irked, in fact, that I was dreaming I was in an odd house where the next door neighbors kept breaking in, trying to steal him. When they couldn't get him, they enlisted all their friends, of whom there were many, to toss beer and soda cans into our yard. In the dream, I was really angry. To the point of calling the cops angry. I had my kid snapping pics of them for evidence. The dream made no sense. I was pissed at Dummy. Why would I be pissed at someone for trying to steal him? I would have given him away at any point last night!

Other than bitching about Dummy, I'm too tired to give you much of anything today. However, I do want to mention the fact that my daughter is in a frenzy of excitement. Concert? New boyfriend? Chili cheese fries? None of the above. She's saving to go to Warped Tour in Portland. (Don't ask. I'm still pissed at the kids for this idea.) She and Invincible Morrison, the boyfriend, are apparently back together after a very brief breakup due to his clingyness which is now gone. She does love chili cheese fries, but I haven't bought her any in awhile. No, she's excited because I got her a domain name yesterday.

She wants a blog. She's been working on different name and theme ideas for a short while. Finally, she comes up with something like Sissies Stay Home. Something about being socially dead. I, in all my brilliance, go to ShareArea.com, the registrar where my domains are. (ShareArea.com is owned by Mike Wallace, who is the creator of the horse racing sim where I'm message board moderator. I think after 5 years in the game, and now being made a mod, I can call Mike a friend.) I look up sociallydead.com and it's available. I IM my kid. She says Ooooooh! I tell her, Blog Name: Socially Dead. Tagline: Life is Tough, when you have no Life. She says, I WANT. ME LIKEY. So at lunch I register the domain and make this:

That's a banner sized version of the blog header. Now I just have to get the hosting sorted out, enter the nameservers, and wait for propagation time. My kid is so excited her boobs are jiggling. No, wait. Those jiggle anyway. Heh. Once the blog is up and launched, we'll have a little Grand Opening and I'll ask everyone to stop by and wish her well with her blogginess.

Okay, that's all I have for today, other than... UGH. I don't feel so good. Hope you all feel better than me. Have a great Tuesday.

Media Marcus Monday

2008-04-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

This is a media day as well as a Marcus Monday! First off, the awesome Hilly from Snackie Radio had me as her guest on her show yesterday afternoon. Below is the podcast for the show, if you missed it. We talked about all kinds of stuff from writing about vampires, where I'm from, whether I've seen dead people at my work, and how I almost got karled or fabbed. We also talked about Karl's junk, because um, everyone is talking about Karl's junk. Thanks for having me on Hilly!

(If you're looking for the podcast, email me. I'll send you a link.)

The next little bit of media I have to share with you is that I am guest posting at The Absurdist today. Chelle asked me to write about designer purses for her Girly Girl Series. Until I had to put all the purses on my bed and photograph them, I hadn't realized what a purse ho I really was. So in honor of all the purse sluts out there, and because I didn't do a tune last week, here is a purse song.

I have two pics of my favorite man this week. This is Marcus in a commercial for a laundry soap called REI. I think it's Swedish, but who cares really? All we really care about is that Marcus is NEKKID. This man is soooo beautiful. You're all really tired of me saying that, aren't you? I know it's true though. I have good taste. Since I almost got karled I haven't been putting my blog on my desktop, so now I can put Marcus out here in all his beautiful nude glory. I wish he would drop that box of soap though.

On the subject of commercials, Fab says he can totally find the Air France man. Cross your fingers and toes. I can hardly wait to find out the answer to this mystery. Fab will earn himself a fanged t-shirt if he finds this guy. You too can earn a fanged t-shirt by leaving a tagline for this blog in the comments of my post entitled Why Vampires?-A Contest. I am extending the deadline a few more days, because while I've received some really good ones, nothing has really, really leaped out at me as "the one". There are several I could totally live with, but I was hoping for one that just completely says ME.

Our Marcuses for this week go to: Mary, Shiny and Fab with 5 each, Matt, Marty, and the Absurdist with 4, Susan with 3, Jason X, Hilly, Avitable, Lady Rose, Xakara, and Karl with 2, and lots of folks with 1. It's three weeks to the next tally and all your tagline suggestions count. You've got the chance to win two contests here, unless you can beat Fab to the Air France guy, in which case you could win three!

OH! I forgot! I mentioned on Hilly's show that I used to have a hot boyfriend named Austin whom I went to a few swinger's parties with. We never participated, but we did go and check them out. So I promised everyone a pic so you could see that he was a very attractive man. Heh.

Thanks for coming by everyone. Don't get fabbed or karled this week. MUAH!

Why Vampires? - A Contest

2008-04-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

My last contest was a flop. No one can find the man from the Air France commercial. I'm a lot disappointed. He was soooo hot. Anyway, I've got a couple things up my sleeve. The first is about this blog and what I spend all my time on when I'm not blogging or working at the cemetery. Writing. I write about vampires. I write about other creatures too at the Bar, but the vamps are, well, my thing. Now, I'm going to reveal to you why it is that I must write vampires. (You'll need this for the contest.)

David from BellaDaddyBlog may remember this. He was with me that day. It was Halloween, my 17th birthday. I think David was 14 or 15. My mom sent me to my sister Jeannette's to pick up my present. David and I hopped into the Starsky and Hutch car and drove to my sister's. She gave me a pair of gold Gypsy earrings that belonged to her, but which I had admired for years. She also gave me her copy of Interview With the Vampire. She looked at me oddly and said that when she first read the book, she knew it was meant for me.

Now, my sister Jeannette is an unusual woman. From the time I was about 4 or so, she lived with the Gypsies. The REAL Gypsies. Jeannette does palmistry, Tarot, and astrology charts. She's very good at it. She's also a Buddhist. Oddly, she never gave up some of her Catholic icons though. I think she's a very religious person, but her beliefs are slices from many different religions.

Anyway, never having had much belief in the occult or religion, I didn't think much of her giving me that weird look. I just took the book and said thank you. My entire life Jeannette had had a habit of turning up out of the blue and giving me odd books to read, and different music to listen to. (All my sibs are much older than me. Jeannette's about 15 years older.) She gave me her prized copy of Abbey Road because I loved it so much, but only if I would take the White Album too. She took me to Catholic church and taught me to light candles. She taught me to meditate. She exposed me to things I would never have been exposed to at a young age had she not been my sister.

Interview With the Vampire had a profound affect on me. It was the only Anne Rice book I read for many years. I didn't want a sequel. I didn't want Louis spoiled for me. Louis sat in my head for a long time. He was seductive, more so than Lestat.

One day I spied a series of books by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro about the St. Germain vampires. I picked up the first book and by the end, I was officially obsessed with vampires. I had a HUGE collection of vampire books within a year or two. I tried writing the vamps, but they never came to me.

Years passed. I lost the huge collection of books and a handwritten copy of my novel Note By Note when I lost my storage unit in the high desert. I eventually read the other Anne Rice books. Shit happened to me. I lost the vampires. I felt them calling to me sometimes though. Then I found a cool little used romance bookstore. The woman there introduced me to paranormal romances and handed me... Katie MacAlister.

The vampires came back to me full force. The were inside me, clamoring to come out. But I hadn't found their vehicle yet. I went to Katie's website and found... The Bar. I read and read and read. For two solid weeks I read the Bar. By the time I caught up to where the writers were, I was ready to intro a character. Not a vampire, but a black dragon. The black dragon was related to two vampires. Eventually, I introduced them - Blake and Dominic Solent, thousand year old vampire brothers, who had once been Knights Templar.

And so, I found where I belonged. The rest is history. Of a sort. The Bar led to Andrei Andrei, who led me to blogging. The blogosphere community and it's people are awesome. I can't imagine my life without all of you now. The Bar, the bloggers, and the vampires.

Now, that you're all yawning at my longwindedness, here's the contest:
I need a real tagline. Something that is me, but something amusing too. Everyone has a cool tagline. I want one. So, hit me with a tagline. You have until midnight Pacific time on Sunday to leave your tagline in the comments. If you prefer a more private means of entering the contest, email your entries to winter at winterheart dot com. One caveat: you cannot say, "Bite Me" (cause all my little icons already say that), but you can use it as part of the tagline. C'mon. You know you wanna win a t-shirt with fangs.

Now, before I go... Tune in to Snackie Radio this Sunday because Hilly's guest is MOI! Yes, the two gals from SoCal will titillate you and make you horny, baby!

SUNDAY APRIL 20TH AT 3PM PACIFIC/6PM EASTERN

CLICK HERE TO GET A REMINDER FOR THE SHOW!

See you all Sunday at Blog Talk Radio! MUAH!

Freakshow

2008-04-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

I'm a little burned out this Friday. Way too much shit coming down in different areas of my life. I seriously need to use up some of those vacation hours that I keep stockpiling. So, in the freakshow that is my life, I first give you a story about my kid and a penis. Oh, wait. Heh. Here's the real intro:

I'm guest blogging at Bluepaintred! (I'm not w00ting out of deference to Karl, who says w00t is not a word. Of course, it's not, Karl. It's a sound. Like MEH.)

Next, I have for you the Slogan thing that Dave did. Mine, in keeping with the theme of my life, was... freaky.

Your Slogan Should Be

Winter; What You'd Eat if You Lived on Mars

The Slogan Generator

Next up is something I cannot even articulate. It pisses me off and raises my blood pressure. I'm sure you will find this amusing. I look at it and want to strangle my teenager.

Another thing in the freakshow of my life is that my damned back still hurts. In fact, I'm starting to feel like my left hip is out of whack. Then I remember falling out of the shower onto that hip about 4 years ago. I have a keloid on the hip now from that fall. But it really feels out of whack. Oh, and the doctor I loved so much... came back to work after having a baby and dismissed me. ME! I have no doctor now. My asthma and I feel like crying. I mean, her name was American. She spoke English without an accent. She had a surfboard on the wall of her office. I feel abandoned.

I'm depressed. I want to spend money I don't have. And everyone's blog made me smile tonight. Except Jason X's. I actually laughed at his. Okay, maybe I chuckled at Diesel's soda badger. But nothing has made me really really laugh since Fab posted the mummy with the caption I Can Has Moisturizer? And even freakier than that, this is my favorite LOL:

Last night, I gave Jester 3/4's of my hotties. What was I thinking? Now, we'll be posting the same guys! Okay, I saved some good ones for myself. After all, I love them more than he does. I think. Shit. I think I got the pics off some gay guy's site. So maybe Jester does love hotties more than me. All gay men seem to have the best hotties on their sites. But do they have... Ian Somerhalder? I think not! HA!

And speaking of hotties, Hilly's car just might get supplanted in my heart. Turnbaby's car is THUD. Oh, how I love the smell of octane in the morning... Injected engines full throttle on a long stretch of open highway. Just not the one where James Dean died. I've seen the weird ass monument to him out there in the middle of nothing. It's a piece of silver metal wrapped around a tree. It's insulting if you think about how he died.

Freaky might be my life at the moment, but if you haven't seen Matt's Pope hat, check it out. He was way hotter than Benny and I spent more time on his site this morning than I did watching Benny's mass. And if the Pope hat is too reverent for you, best go look at Hellohahanarf's first Half Nekkid Thursday. I have never seen a woman so happy to hold her feet in the air when the camera was rolling. I know it's not her most recent blog post, but shit. All of her posts are worth reading and this one is worth ogling. Heh.

I think there was something else I was gonna talk about in this freakshow that is my life, but I can't remember what it is. So you will just have to live with this fucked up post. How bad can it be anyway? It doesn't have a fake naked Hermione or Harry Potter's real foreskin. No one but Avitable could post that anyway. I don't eat or drink when I visit his site. I'd go broke replacing monitors if I did. Wait. I already am broke.

Now, that I've pimped and ass kissed my way through a freakshow of a Friday post, here's a song for you since I didn't have one this past Tuesday. I wonder if you will get the irony of it... Oh, and BTW, if I didn't pimp you out today, remind me that I owe you a toe licking or something if we ever meet.

Okay, I'm outta here. I'm going to bed with Anderson Cooper. Hopefully, I'll get to sleep before Lou Dobbs comes on. He's not nearly as good a bed partner as Anderson. Happy Freakshow Friday peoples!

Thursday Thirteen the Twelfth

2008-04-16T22:25:00.000-07:00

This hasn't been the best of weeks for me. Those of you who came by last week will notice that my last TT is missing from this blog. I removed it. On purpose. Just because someone might misconstrue it. If you really wanna know where it is now, email me. I'll let you in.

So I don't have a TT prepared. I'm winging it with some help from the Bar.

Thirteen Mysterious Characters from the Bar Story
1. Macaire - Macaire is a Fallen Angel. The FAs are very powerful. Marius the Archangel "creates" the angels from children who died. The FAs are supposed to be good, but Macaire is extraordinary. He's stalking Nyx McClaren and already threatened her and her mate Valerian Kronos. He hasn't done anything against them yet, but he keeps hinting that he will.

2. Damaris Fontaine, the Blood Mistress - Damaris is the keeper of the vampire annals (the history of all vampires) and the vampire bloodlines and lineage. She's the daughter of the vampire deity, which makes her a demi-goddess I suppose. So far she's shown herself to be good, but who knows what could happen? She's just mysterious and powerful enough that you just aren't sure whether she's good or evil.

3. Mr. Fabulous - The only thing we know about him is that the Blood Mistress is afraid of him. That means, he must be more powerful than her. No indication yet whether he is good or evil, but he may be a vampire and may have some sort of ties to the demon realm. He may also have ties to the vampire deity.

4. Darrien Ellsworth - Darrien is a vampire. Someone in the story is his father. So far his father hasn't been revealed. Dad doesn't know he has a son. Darrien's gonna tell him in a not so nice way. We don't know yet if Darrien is good or evil, but he and his brother Sebastian are hanging out stalking Darrien's dad.

5. Kendall Reed - The vampire musician shares a past with rock star Rune. Not a carnal past, but a past that has to do with their childhood, music, and secrets. She has Rune by the balls over a song he stole from her. It's not known yet whether she will twist them or forgive him.

6. Bram Steele - Bram is a former junkie. He lost almost everything to drugs, which seems odd for a vampire, but it's true in Bram's case. Now, he's rebuilt his life and his music career. He's just made up with old friend Dominic Solent. It seems pretty obvious that Bram is a good guy, but who knows what's in his past waiting to come out.

7. Garren Fairfax - Garren is a mage who inherited a strange magical house. In the house is a huge golden cage that encircles Garren's current captive. The cage moves when the captive moves. So basically, the captive has free run of the house. There's magic in the house that allows it to not be seen except by certain persons. Garren first looked like a bad guy who was holding someone hostage. Now that he's taken in Khatira the djinn's bottle (her brother put the golden cuffs on her making her a genie), he seems more of a good guy.

8. Seth Chrysaor - Seth is a legendary creature. The chrysaor is the son of a god and a Gorgon. He has strange powers, and a mouth full of sharp pointed teeth when he's in battle mode. He has already shown that he's a good guy when he helped kill the demon who was possessing Rune and helped kill the Black Widow, Rachel Sullivan.

9. Christian De Ambrose - Christian, yet another vampire, is the former lover of rock star Carlisle Ross. He broke up with her, and left to pursue a career as a writer. Now he's in Paris, stalking Carlisle, and digging up dirt on her fiance's family. He has not yet shown whether he's a good guy or a baddie.

10. Devlin Von Karman - Devlin is some kind of ancient shape shifter. He appears to be a good guy so far, because he's helped out Aneira Rudolph the white werewolf, for whom he has a little crush. However, there is something else lurking beneath the surface. His friendship with vampire Veronica Pierce, for one.

11. Eden Wellesley - Eden is human and is the bloodmate of a vampire. So far, Eden has resisted his attempts to bond with her. For some odd reason, she does not want to live forever. An ex-CIA agent, Eden has already shown herself to be one of the good guys, but why are there strange "relatives" from her past, who have connections to mages, showing up on her doorstep?

12. Elysia Grenville - The head of the Fallen Angels is strict and upright. She shows no emotion to either the people who work for her or her younger sisters. She's a good guy, but she's not very likable yet. Maybe there are secrets in her past... Certainly, she's bound to show more of her hand when her youngest sister asks to be released from the FAs to go to the Afterlife.

13. Drey Wulf - Drey is a werewolf. He's shown both good and bad sides to the readers by attacking Aneira, by having sex with her mom Jensen, who is in love with his brother, by teasing a wildling and a host of other things. Drey is a bad boy whom everyone loves because he just tells it like it is. He's rough around the edges and manipulative, but he's really just young and hotheaded rather than evil.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Hope you enjoyed another peek at the Bar characters. Have a great Thursday!

How I Almost Got Karled

2008-04-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

Visitors to my blog are usually most welcome. However, as those of you who read my Monday rant know, I don't always deal well with PAQs. Well, while I was ranting about PAQs from a website that shall remain nameless, someone from my own workplace was going through these very archives. Not to find out more about me, but to find things that could be shown to the management of the company I work for. This wasn't something someone found by accident. So no longer can I come here and vent or rant to get things off my chest. Some things have become off limits for fear that my child and I will not be able to afford the roof over our heads.

My six word memoir meant nothing to his person. This person doesn't care if I have a heart. Or feelings. Or a child to support. This person ignored every GOOD thing I had to say about my work. And I've mentioned a number of GOOD things because I really do like where I work.

I would feel violated if it wasn't so predictable in this world we live in. People don't think about the fact that Britney Spears can sing really well. All they want to focus on is the fact that she's having a mental breakdown. How the hell is that any of our business anyway? But this media rich diet we live on dictates that the meat is always sweeter the closer to the bone... so cut deeper to get the dirt and fuck it if it hurts anyone!

Shiny told me a story not long ago about going to a restaurant to have dinner with her DH. She was unwinding from a rough day, telling him about how her supervisor had been treating her in an unprofessional manner. Lo and behold, who walks in? That very supervisor. The world being what it is, had that supervisor overheard her personal conversation with her husband, Shiny could have been fired. The supervisor was already treating her in an unprofessional manner and creating a climate of fear in the office. I don't know if Shiny was afraid for her job, but many people in her shoes would have been. So even words to your husband can be used against you in this world we live in. Cause guess what? There really is no such thing as freedom of speech. We pay for every freaking thing we say or do.

I didn't get Karled. It wasn't even brought up. It was left to the HR Manager to speak to me. She had some sage words for me, which I'm not going to repeat. There are going to be a number of things I won't repeat anymore. At least not out here. I've been toying with the idea of creating a private blog so I can vent as much as I want without fear of repercussion. If you noticed this morning, there were 71 posts on this blog. Not any more. I saved the deleted ones, including my last TT. If I do create a private blog, I'll drop my deleted posts there... as a shrine to Karl.

If any of you missed Karl's story, here is the link: I'm Not Going to Say I Got Dooced, But I Did

I guess I'm not as cynical as I thought I was. I was shocked that Karl was karled. I was shocked that Dave got hate mail over a cartoon. I felt a twinge of hurt when the guys in the sim took one girl's "joke" about my name on a bathroom wall and turned it into a big funny haha thing...when it sure seemed to me that she was calling me a slut without calling me one... Maybe I'm too tenderhearted to be a cynic. But you know what hurts the worst of any of the shit that's come down recently? That someone who really does care about people, is never seen in that light. Maybe THAT is the real reason that this is my memoir.
Next time, read ALL of the words. Not just the ones you think are disgusting. Because when you read one post without reading all 70... and you insist on judging me by that post... you've just told the world exactly what you are, without me having to say - or write - a word.

Melancholy Marcus Monday

2008-04-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

I'm a little melancholy. Missing Rott I guess for one. For another, people in general sometimes get me down. (See the rant below.) I spent part of Sunday photoshopping Marcus. I stuck him into a pic with a girl in a designer dress. Then I photoshopped Kelly Monaco's face on the girl. It's not a very good job. I was distracted. The upshot is that if I had really worked on the details it would look much better. It's for the Bar, so it doesn't have to be some fantastic thing.

The picture is because Lex and Alaric are going to a wedding. Lex, who is starting to show her pregnancy a little, doesn't fit in the dress she was going to wear, which would allow her to wear the very expensive Manolo Blahnik's she wore at her own wedding. So Lex has to choose a different dress. The post is about how Lex comes to realize that her body is about to undergo some major changes, and at the end of it all, her life will be decidedly different.

When I first wrote Lex, she was a background character, meant to fuck one of the main characters, get dumped by him, and eventually end up dead. But Lex is tenacious. She wanted to live. She wanted a chance at her own story. She refused to do what I had originally planned for her. Now, Lex is probably the most 3 dimensional character that I have. I invest a lot of myself in her too. So when I did the 6 word memoir and realized that Lex is the best vehicle I have as a writer, I created The Lexography. The Lexography is Lex's biography. Told in diary format from her voice, and the voices of those who love her. If you're interested in Lex, you will find the link to the Lexography on the sidebar to the right. The girl with fangs won't be posted here on Tuesdays any longer.

I have a little rant that I wanna get off my chest now. Have you ever been in IM or chat or on a MB with someone who disliked you, but was being passive aggressive about it? They make these little remarks that are digs, but they cover them, attribute them to someone else, or backtrack so you don't call them on it? Usually, I call them on it anyway because it annoys the hell out of me. I would much rather people say right up front what they think so I, and everyone else, knows that they don't like me. Then I don't have to make nicey nice and talk to them anymore. And everyone else will not expect me to.

The problem I have these days is that there are places where I am the admin and/or moderator. I'm not supposed to be confrontational. There are five places on the net where I have this job. Five places where I have to take the high road and let people speak to me in snide asides. It goes against the grain with me, but I agreed to take these jobs so I'm not about to let others down by not doing the right thing. What kills is that sometimes these queens of passive aggressive behavior use that against me. They know they can throw as much below the radar crap at me as they like, and I cannot retaliate or respond. They revel in the fact that they can do this. It's pathetic.

I bet you want to know why they don't like me, these passive aggressive queens. As near as I can figure it, it's because I'm me. I come into a chatroom or a board and I talk to people. I joke and tease and flirt. Sometimes other women do not like this about me. They think I do this to draw all the attention to myself. They are resentful and it shows in their little remarks to me, and in the way they draw the man's (men's) attention back to them by talking about something I am not privvy to.

Now, I've been on this planet for awhile. There's stuff I know. First off, it's freaking typing, people. Second, what's wrong with a little fun? It's not like I'm inviting your husband to cheat on you. Third, it's not about me, it's about others, making them smile and have fun. I don't even post a lot on some of these boards, so when I do, I wanna have fun! Fourth, you don't OWN those men that I talk to on the boards and chatrooms. Some of them are married or have girlfriends. You do not have dibs on them! And yes, I talk to women too! Not just the guys. Although, the way these P-A-Qs act, you'd think all I do is go around to MBs and chats and steal "their" men. Sheesh.

I tell myself that this is nothing. They prolly have pathetic lives in dead end jobs, no boyfriend or husbands or kids... or they have those things and are unhappy with them. Hell, I could BE them. The difference is, I choose not to be. I choose to fill the empty places with things I enjoy. Creative things like that stupid little photoshop pic, or writing Lex, or calling in to Turnbaby's show and singing a really bad rendition of the Yogi Bear song because I've forgotten the words because my dinner is burning. (Smoke sucks.) I just have to content myself that the high road is the better way to go and ignoring barbs is good for the soul.

Okay, rant over and it's time to add up the Marcus' for this week. Fab picked up 7 this week followed by Mary with 6, Matt and Shiny with 5, Susan with 3, and Livvy with 2. There's a whole host of people who got 1 each. Most of them on my TT about the cemetery. Why is it that people are so very curious about the cemetery?

Anyway, since it's been 4 weeks since our last update here's how the numbers shake out in terms of the top 5: Mary-68, Matt-53, Shiny-52, Susan-47, and Fab-37. Maybe it should be whoever gets to 100 first wins or whoever has the most come June 1. Next time around, I'll do the contest different. I'm liking how Matt does the COW.

By the way, I'm still battling with Wordpress on my writing blog. If anyone knows someone who can answer q's for me and maybe mentor me a little, I would much appreciate it. I need to make the errors go away and do a couple of little tweaky things, but I'm having a helluva time finding answers in all the miles of Wordpress docs, forums, and codex. I don't need someone to do it for me, I just need someone to point me in the right direction so I can fix it myself.

That's it for this Monday. Have a great start to the week everyone! MUAH!

Loves Fab's Fisting and Matt's Meat

2008-04-10T19:47:00.001-07:00

The wondrous Olivia, the English Courtesan, tagged me with the Six Word Memoir. That title up there was my first attempt. Well, not really. But it sounded hawt! Livvy's six word memoir was quite striking, I must say. (If you want to know what it is, you must visit her blog!) She said she had a little difficulty with it at first, wondering, how could she describe her life in six words? She did very well though. Much better than I did with my attempt to be amusing in six words.

When she tagged me, she said she deliberately chose bloggers who can write. I think I preened a little. I call myself a writer, but other than a few poems and the stuff I post at the Bar, I've never been published. I know that being published does not make one a writer. However, I'd like to think that one day I will finish something and have it published. It's not a dream of mine, the way some people have a dream that is really a goal. Instead, it's one of those things that is highly attainable, but always gets pushed back because other things in life are more important. I guess some day it will happen. I know I have the talent. Too many diverse people have told me that I do, for me not to believe it. Now, I just need find to the right vehicle and the time to create it.

Maybe Lex is the vehicle, because Lex is me. Not in looks, but in her soul. She was gang raped by the Nazis. I've been gang raped by Life. Yet Lex continues to hope. When she thinks she has nothing left inside her, Johann shows her that it isn't true. He shows her how her actions give away the hope that continues to well within her. I don't know where it comes from, but it wells within me too most days. Like Lex, the dark sometimes rules, but the light always returns. So perhaps my vehicle is Lex, taken from the context of the Bar and given to the world... It's certainly an idea I'd not thought of until this moment.

So, my six word memoir is easy. And it's so me.

Thanks for tagging me, Livvy. I think I needed to get those words off my chest. I'm not going to tag anyone else, but those of you who read me, who are writers too, if you haven't done this... then you should. There is a freedom in the release of those words, that I can't exactly describe. Sort of a feeling of coming home. Maybe I'm waxing poetic or being melodramatic or diva-ish. Don't know. Don't really care. I just know those words felt good.

Happy Friday, luscious ones. I'll be reading all your blogs this weekend, after I post more sex at the Bar.

Humpday Hotness

2008-04-08T22:34:00.000-07:00

I grossed out my teen. I told her I got Snitter for my Twitter. She thought I was talking dirty. "Ewww! Mom! TMI!" I'm not sure how it happened, but I'm more techie than my kid. In this day and age, that is saying something. Sure, she can out-text me, but I can spend $200 and get on the internet without having to buy a computer that some guy named DELL made. HA! Take that, teenager! Let me see you BYOMM! (Build Your Own Monster Machine.)

Since it is humpday, and I'm still entering my freaking horses for Derby Fever, I give you humpday hotness. First up is Liz Hurley. I heard Dave likes her. I like her too. She is pretty damned gorgeous. If I was a man she would give me a woody. I'm not a man and she almost does it for me. Dave has good taste. Oh, and the hotness that is Dave will be on The Jester Show tonight, talking while under the influence of drugs.

You know, all women should be allowed to grow old the Liz Hurley way. Think of how happy and peaceful the world would be if we all grew old in a beautiful way. We would all be too busy boinking each other to fight... Well, we should all be too busy boinking each other anyway. Nothing like sex for making you too tired to fight. Oh, Liz. You should be the head of NATO. Really.

Next up is the very yummy Brazilian Alexandre Verga. What is it with Brazilians? In this pic, Alex totally looks like he's telling me he's gonna get nekkid for me. ALL the Brazilian models look out of their pics like that. They have a market on the come hither and let me boink you look.

Alex and his brother Rafael cause much drooling among the female population of the world. Who would have thought two brothers could cause so many heart attacks. I mean, seriously, they are more likely to give you a coronary than a steady diet of Big Macs. I think Alex is the big brother. And if Rafe is the "little" brother, I really wanna find those pics where Alex bares all. Cause, ya know, I've seen Rafe naked. It almost melted my monitor. No telling what kind of damage naked Alex pics would cause. It might be worth it too. Naked Alex... the cost of a new monitor. Hmmmn. I wonder if I could work that in as a tax deduction somehow. I prolly could. As an IT person, all my computer stuff should be a deduction. Heh.

One last thing before I take off to try to finish entering some horses. I keep seeing this 100 things stuff everywhere. I keep wondering if I should try it. Then I think... no way. I already tell you peeps way too much about who I am. However, I think I shall start opening myself up more. Starting next Wednesday, if anyone sends me a personal question or two, I shall answer them when I post Humpday Hotties. My email addy is winter at winterheart dot com. Enjoy the gorgeous flesh and I hope your Wednesday is full of humping!

Tuesday Tunes and Wheezing

2008-04-07T22:16:00.000-07:00

My brain has been furiously running through songs since I offered up my fractured vocal cords on the altar of Fab's next Duet show. This is an especially tough thing for me because once upon a time, I had a very beautiful singing voice. Ask David from BellaDaddyBlog. He'll tell you I could wring tears from your eyes. And not because I sang like fingernails on a chalkboard either. Pffft.

When I turned 30, I was diagnosed with asthma. Don't laugh. Some people don't get it as a kid. There have been several females in my family who got asthma after the age of 30. I thought it wasn't a big deal. Then I got a very nasty case of pneumonia. And another. And another. In the space of 5 years, I'd had it 6 or 7 times. Now, years later, I have the horrid asthmatic wheeze and cough. Meds keep me breathing and attack free, but there has been a price to pay to continue breathing... my vocal cords and breath control. Both are now nicely shot. It's the toughest pill I've had to swallow of all the meds I've had over the past 17 years since I was diagnosed.

For me to offer to sing is like asking a painter who is now blind to create a watercolor. Tough stuff. I can half assed carry a tune, but it's a pathetic shadow of my former glorious voice. I goof mostly now, because to do anything serious puts me in tears. Only David knows how truly hard this is for me. But David being the kind of man he is, he would tell me to do it anyway, and fuck it if I don't sound like an angel any more. He would tell me to just have fun. (You're gonna send me an email now, aren't you, David? Telling me everything I just attributed to you, right? Don't make me out a liar, dude.)

So anyway, here are the songs I've decided I might be able to pull off with Fab. I have something else up my sleeve too, but it's super secret and seriously amusing. My sense is that if it tickles Fab's funny bone the way it tickles mine... I might just have to do it. However, it means lots and lots and lots of practice for my asthmatic self. I wonder if I can manage a take without a wheeze or a cough? Maybe I should leave them in. After all, if I can't be the Diva anymore I might as well be Red Skelton, right? Enjoy the tunes!

Marcus Monday - After the Duets Are Done

2008-04-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

Before I get started on the fun stuff, everyone please send Kyra Sutra some positive energy. Things are not going so well for her, and she could use all the good wishes, comfort, and support we can give her. I wish she lived nearby so I could coax her to eat and take care of herself, and just give her a hug and let her know people care about her.

Since it's Marcus Monday and I'm bumming, I need a serious dose of my favorite hot guy today. Umm umm. He does look delicious there. Now, do you see why writing Alaric Kohl curls my toes? If you didn't read my guest blogger post by Lex and Car, you should. When they talk about Alaric, it's all about Marcus to me since Marcus is the physical representation of Alaric. He really does make my achy back feel better, just to look at him. Makes me wonder how he'd make me feel in person. I bet my back would get better right away. Heh.

Speaking of yummy men, three blogs with hotness come to mind. Jester, whom I only just checked out this weekend, has some hotness on his blog from Friday. The middle dude was yummo. He had the hottest eyes. The second hottie is David over at BellaDaddyBlog, who posted 2 pics. One was recent and the other was from when we were in high school. If you hop over to his blog you'll see that I sure can pick em. I always did have a good eye for a hot man. It helps that David is the sweetest, funniest guy ever too. The third hot dude is Karl from Secondhand Tryptophan. Karl has been writing about sex lately. He does this very well too. And his blog is looking smoking hot these days, all new and gorgeous. Stop by and check out these yummy dudes.

Did you check out the LOL cat pic I made on Sunday? It's Neko and Swirly. Neko whose name is now PREGO. Anyone want what is sure to be a beautiful *cough* maniacal *cough* kitten? Yes, my kid let me down once again. I know that this is what teens do to you, promise and lag at following through, but I am upset nonetheless. It does not help that the PITA tells me, "Things could be worse, Mom. I could be pregnant." I did not need to hear that.

So now, I am at the Marcus awards for this Monday. It was a slow week for reacharounds, er comments. Some bloggers were taking some time off. Others were just busy. And I'm sure some just didn't wanna read my shit. It's all good. Life ebbs and flows. Rather like a septic tank. Our top earner this week is Shiny with 5. Then we have Mary and Susan with 4 each. Followed by Matt, Kaige, Kyra, and Karl with 2 each. Our onesies are Nicholas, Tempest, Jennifer, Darla, Harris, Ann, Pussreboots, Adelle, The Absurdist, Turnbaby, Anthony North, Missy, Blufeenix, Euroyank, and Metalmom. Next week is our recap to date. We are getting very close to end of this Marcus contest. I'm thinking I should change up the criteria for the next round, but I'm still pondering that.

Before I sign off, I first want to say that Mr. Fabulous had the BEST show ever on Sunday night. It was the Big Honkin' Duet Show and the songs were fantastic! Some people were excellent singers, others were poor singers but such AWESOME sports, and others were just going for the laughs. All in all, a simply superb time was had by all. I may even lend my well trained but disease abused vocal cords to the next show. If my vocal cords are damaged beyond what sounds pleasant to the ear, I'll go for the laughs somehow. I know Fab will assist me ably there.

My last comment before bed is that if you ever wanted to know how to be a girly girl, please visit the Absurdist. She is taking us step by step through the whole process. This week... eyelashes. How to make sure that you have some to bat at men. Heh. An excellent video tutorial. Have a great Monday everyone!

Sunday Silence

2008-04-05T21:13:00.001-07:00

Swirly and Neko

Duet Show at Blog Talk Radio.
Be there.

Yes! I am Crazy! Guest Bloggers

2008-04-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

I don't feel good today. Not mentally. Not physically. So I have guest bloggers for you. Sorta. Please be kind and gentle to them. They have been through a lot in their lives, but they are both good people who now have happiness in their lives. You'll like them a lot. The men will like how hot they are. The women will like their fun, but caring personalities. Today, I give you Alexandria Valentine Morosci McBain Kohl, Duchess of Saxe-Altenburg aka Lex, Lexie, Angel, or the Megabitch AND her partner in crime, best friend, and boss, Carlisle Ross aka Lady Rosslyn deVere, Duchess of Carlisle. (BTW... Lex really doesn't like it if you mention her Playboy spread and Car really does love Chivas.)

Lex stared at the empty coffee pot. Her sharp eyes went to Carlisle who shrugged. "Don't look at me, Lexie. I can't make coffee. I'm a Chivas girl, remember?"

"She needs coffee, Rosslyn. She can't stand at the counter long enough to make it. She's been coffee-less all week. I feel sorry for her," Lex said, crossing her arms over her ample breasts, those same breasts that had been displayed so lusciously in Playboy.

Carlisle sighed. "Yeah, I feel sorry for her too, but I can't make coffee, Lex. I just can't. For one, it goes against my reputation as a dark hearted rock star and duchess. For another, if I make it, it will taste like bad tuna. Trust me on this."

"Her back hurts. There must be something nice we can do for her to make her feel better," Lex said in a frustrated voice.

Carlisle began to laugh. "Give her your husband for a night or two."

Lex stuck her tongue out at her best friend and boss. "Fuck you. Give her your man!"

"Stein doesn't do it for her like Al does. We all know how much she loves Al. Every word she writes about the man proclaims how he curls her toes," Carlisle replied with a wicked gleam in her midnight blue eyes.

"Well, shit. There must be something we can do to make her feel better, other than me giving up Alaric for a few nights. Not that he'd go. These days, he can't sleep unless his hands are on my belly," Lex snorted, rolling her eyes a little. "The man is obsessed with his son."

"She understands you know. Better than most." Carlisle speared Lex with those keen dark blue eyes. "She wouldn't take him anyway. She loves you too much."

Lex's face softened. "I know. I love her too. So do you. Which is why we need to figure out how we can make her feel better when she's been coffee-less and in pain for a week."

Carlisle sighed. "Maybe Spyder will do it. He'll patch things up with Bianca and make her cry with the HEA. Or Rune! Maybe Rune can do it. After all, he figured out who his Cherished One is and cut off his hair. He's turned over a new leaf."

Lex shook her head. "This is something you and I need to do. She loves us more than them."

Silence reigned for a few minutes. Finally, Lex snapped her fingers. "I'll call Ronnie. He'll know what to do for her. He always knows that shit."

Carlisle cocked up an eyebrow in amusement. "Better hurry. The managers will be out of their meeting soon. She has to get back to payroll."

"Gimme my Blackberry! I'll call right now!" Lex reached across the counter, grabbed her cell phone, and began to dial.

"You know, Lex... maybe all we need to do is tell her we love her," Carlisle said thoughtfully.

Lex put down her cell phone. "You're right you know." She turned to face the computer monitor. "We love you, Mom. If we could, we'd make you coffee and have Alaric rub your back. Rosslyn and I appreciate everything you've done for us. You've written us happy. We appreciate that."

"You bet your fucking Dooneys we do," Carlisle chimed in. "Feel better soon, Mom! We have some ass kicking to do and no one can write us but you."

"And all you bloggers out there?" Lex added, her dark eyes glowing with emotion. "She shares us with you because she loves you too, and she thinks you'll like us. Hey, if you do, that's great, but even if you don't, the fact that she shares us makes us love her more."

"Shhh!" Carlisle warned, elbowing Lex. "You'll make them think she's nuts, talking to herself and shit."

Lex frowned, perplexed. "But they all talk to themselves. It's what bloggers do."

Carlisle made a face. "And now we're her guest bloggers? Do NOT let the press get hold of this, Lex. I have a reputation remember?"

Lex snorted. "A reputation for boy toys."

"Not anymore. She wrote me happy. Brought Stein back into my life." Carlisle's face took on a proud expression. "SHE makes me happy."

Lex's lips curled up in a warm smile. "Me too. Maybe she'll feel better this weekend. If she does, she'll visit all their blogs."

"And write us some more," Carlisle nodded. "I'm down with that."

"Good. Let's just hope everything works out and she's better by tomorrow. Then we can have a big weekend," Lex sighed happily.

"You can have a BIG weekend... with BIG AL," Carlisle joked. "C'mon, tell me how big his dick is. The man's 6'6"... it has to be big."

Lex shook her head. "Like I told you before, I refuse to talk about Alaric's penis. Besides, the bloggers are listening."

"They're horn dogs. They wanna know," Carlisle replied, her eyes amused.

"Not telling. Now, say g'bye, Rosslyn. It's time for us to go." Lex cocked an eyebrow at her friend.

Carlisle sighed in resignation. "Bye bloggers! Read the Bar Story and maybe I'll worm out of the old Megabitch here how big her husband's penis is."

"Car!" Lex gasped. "That's no way to sign off of Mom's blog!"

Carlisle snickered, her expression wicked. "Sure it is. People will come back for more if you talk penis."

"You have the craziest ideas sometimes," Lex complained in exasperation.

Carlisle wiggled her eyebrows. "I'm crazy like a fox. Mom knows. She created me."

Lex waves at the computer monitor. "Just ignore her, she's being difficult. It's what rock stars do, ya know. Thanks for reading us and we hope to see you again some time!"