A Tale of Ordinary Madness:

flatlining!

2009-08-05T16:12:00.001-07:00

Through neglect, I've pretty much murdered my blog. My last post was... november? Ouch. But I don't feel this is MY fault--it's just the road life has taken me down lately. Put less romantically, my life has been boring as shit. Things like opinions, motivations, and emotions that were the fuel for this blog have completely run dry. I really would not be purposefully anti-social when people ask "Dan, what's up?" "how are you doing?" "what've you been up to lately?" and all i have to respond with is a shrug. The times i did get charged up, or i guess charged down, were when I'd get drunk enough and eventually get SUPER depressed-- during those moments i'd turn to a journal,scribbling quickly, angrily, and sloppily, not to a public blog. In some sense, my drinking had come full-circle. I was a madly depressed, self pitying wretch when i used to blog at Adventures In Adversity. ( the old pages from 2001-2002) I was a freshmen in college who stayed cooped up in my room, felt sorry for myself, and never drank once and didn't talk to anyone. Soon enough, obviously, i joined the human race and was pretty happy till about... recently.
Why was I getting depressed?

So I've begun these sort of science experiments on myself. The first was sobriety-- I am a believer in the zen view of life, i find a lot of value in the ups and downs. I like the diversity of experiences. I think transcience is beautiful. After all, that's life, right? Why deny it? When you are feeling shitty, or things go bad, you need to just experience it, fully. If you're down in the mud, just roll in it. It's a powerful thing, and makes the highs feel better. Those good days are just...GREAT. You know? The problem was there was nothing to feel "good" about. Nothing I wanted to do, nowhere i wanted to go. So sobriety was the experiment-- just.... flatlining. And it was/is weird. I kind of enjoy the massochism of it. It's also put things into perspective.
For one thing, I'm back to liking the little things. When you're living the up and down rollercoaster, you completely overlook everything in the middle. I wasn't reading anymore, I wasn't painting. Except playing D&D on sundays, which were secretly the only part of the week i looked forward to, I had basically abandoned the things which interested me. Like.. as i noticed having fun was slipping through my fingers i grabbed more and more, pushing it out faster. So, now i don't feel pressure to go out or else potentially miss out on meeting an amazing girl-- i'll stay in and read. I can sit around and focus on painting. So that's where I'm at. I'm pretty freaking anti-social, and not very happy about it. I had discovered that without beer I could give a flying fuck about meeting new people, and that's too bad. But I think I'm comin 'round. I got pretty drunk last thursday and it was super fun.

I've gotten a lot of painting done. I've read a bunch of books. I want to do more of both, and have started on polyphasic sleeping. That's probably what I'll be blogging about, but I think I'll save it for when I need something to do to keep me from falling asleep....

-D

yes, we did.

2008-11-05T00:48:00.000-08:00

And let's take a few things into consideration. I've been pretty up with the polls lately, but had absolutely no belief in the numbers ~ there's a point where fear, pessimism, and emotional guarding just take over. I think the negativity of this race has taken its toll on a lot of people, and in a lot of different ways, and not one way for the better.

Now that it's over, I hope that the Americans on the red side of this election can take in John McCain's words from his concession speech, in one of the few bits of election speech he has given that I approve of, because Obama's election is a huge step in world affairs, and in a way I hadn't noticed before he actually got on stage to give his acceptance speech. It's not just a victory in blue over red (if it was going to be, I would have voted for Ralph Nader again.)

I'm fucking ecstatic about this victory,don't get me wrong, but you know what? I'm not even really thinking about health care, the ending of the war in Iraq, or the economy. People compare Obama to the Kennedy political legacy, and for a few reasons~ youth, race relations, ideas, political energy; but honestly, Kennedy was a Catholic~ that was his most major hurdle, and now we have a black man, with a Kenyan father, who went to school in Indonesia who will be sworn in come January.

I could have cared less about the election, actually, until my english friend in Japan had me read "The Audacity of Hope: thoughts on reclaiming the American dream" by Obama, and what is SO significant about this election is summed up when he said to me "You realize if Obama gets elected it will be so f***ing cool to be an American", which was a slap in the face after being afraid to announce my nationality in public for 2 years.

Do you actually know what that's like? To live over seas during the Bush presidency, and be afraid to even say you're NOT Canadian? And supposedly foreign policy was MCCAIN'S strong suit?? I see that as the president's chief duty, and I saw the tables flipped on that one. When I saw the Obama family walk out as "America's new first family" I was thinking of that, I was thinking about the people in Kenya sitting around watching the American election, the people in Japan writing and recording music videos about him, his 95% approval rating in Europe, the middle-eastern rulers who respect him and whom we need diplomacy with BADLY, the 280,000 people who came to watch an american presidential candidate in Berlin, despite our crushed international opinion and problems.

Not to mention seeing the whites and blacks literally crying over the importance of this. Jesse Jackson with tears actually streaming down his face~ To see pragmatism mixed with ideals makes me want to continue this more in the tone of a political pundit, because honestly it has been a long time since i've had faith in any american politics.

think about this, in 1908 who would have taken the odds that there would be a black president before the Chicago Cubs won the world series again?

The American ideal is that you can "pull yourself up from your bootstraps", which is generally a republican saying. We have just seen the American dream. That's cheesy, super cheesy, but especially in a growing global community it is especially true. this is a man whose father was a kenyan immigrant, grew up bi-racial, who was poor growing up raised by a single mother who died early, then a pair of white grandparents, who literally had everything stacked against him, worked hard, got into one of the best schools in the nation, became the first of his race to be the president of the harvard law and review, turned down a salary of millions to help poor people organize in a community, ran for public office and wrote books to pay off his school debt. Is that not the republican dream realized? Talk about tax policies, if you think Reagan was a communist as well, or if you think the Bush economic policies were successful, but don't slander what is possibly one of the greatest american stories in a generation.

cars, trucks, and automobiles (and dominionism)

2008-09-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

Let's get away from my "feelings" and take a non partisan look the future, and energy. Where is the REAL discussion on energy in this election season? Oh, it's there, if you rummage to the bottom of CNNs editorials, or spend awhile googling, but why isn't being covered by the television journalists rather than gallup polls, identity politics, and gossip news? I have large interests in some of the key issues right now -- the energy issue is probably the most important crossroads our country has ever come across in an election, and where is the information? and when i say "energy issue" I don't mean "gas prices"; I think 80% of Americans think they are the same thing. I could care less about gas prices-- in fact, jack them up higher, it will only do us good. But what about that stuff gasoline is made from...oil? and what happens when it's gone? and how do we pay to drive when it's going? You can hear plenty on CNN and FOXnews about drilling ("55% of americans are now in favor, etc..." "John McCain says that we will see results in two years" "Barack Obama does NOT support offshore drilling! What do you think?") But it's not the news' job to tell us what we're thinking, the news is supposed to HELP us think. So what about the rest?? Where do we drill? How much will it produce? How fast? Are you getting these facts from oil company CEOs? What does a scientist say? What does an economist say? How much oil do we NEED to drill to lower costs? Do we have that oil? How long will it last us? What happens to us after we start drilling? But all of that is second to... why would we even WANT to drill more oil?
Lets look at THOSE questions.

The fact of the matter is that the American style of living has to change, either stop using oil, or invent something else in its place. Our infrastructure doesn't fit into the space made for us by the rest of the world, you can't hammer a square block into a circular hole very far before it breaks -- it was sustainable for a short period of time, and it was nice. You could buy a big car, you could live in a suburb or, hell, even out in the rural area in a big house, and you could drive every day 30, 40 minutes to work, and your kids could all drive to school, and you could drive 10 miles to your favorite supermarket, and it could all balance out. We've taken ideas of comfort and turned them into what we think it means to be "American". Unfortunately it DOESN'T balance out -- people think that "energy issues" are about getting gas prices back down to maintain that balance again, but no matter WHAT, that model has to go. People are saying "DRILL, BABY, DRILL!", but what will that do??

According to the CIA world factbook, we have 1.6% of the world's oil reserves, and we use 25.9% of the world's oil.
Explain to me how we are going to drill our way out of this hole?
It seems to me like we have two options.
1. Drill (McCain stance)
2. Alternate Energy (Obama)

I mean, we CAN drill, because here's the argument: " We should keep more of our dollars here in the U.S., lessen our foreign dependency, increase our domestic supplies, and reduce our trade deficit ", but I can't understand why this is the REPUBLICAN stance, because this is what it means -- we turn the United States into San Francisco or New York City. We all move into apartments, ride our bikes around town and take the commuter train to work. Preserve oil, reduce plastic manufacturing, recycle your garbage or carry around a refillable nalgene bottle. So, lets raise gas prices, like I said, I think every city should be built like that, because that's the REALITY of what it takes to prolong our oil use. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be what would happen, would it?

So why is it on the Republican ticket?? Because it's good for business, in the right now. Lets say you are John McCain on the Republican ticket, and you are running for the incumbent party, and George Bush has built its administration on oil policies, and oil companies are more successful at the moment than ever in history. So now you've been given 49 million dollars to your campaign by the big oil companies. I have no doubt that they plan on competing in the new energy market, whenever that appears, because they didn't get rich by being stupid. But, if they can buy policy that allows them to sell more oil, right now the most profitable substance on the earth, that's what they'll do. It has nothing to do with the fact that oil is GOING to run out, and it's getting there, and it's hurting our country to continue its use; they want you to use it because it will make them money. You want to use it because they tell you that you don't have to get rid of that Ford F150 and big white house with a picket fence.
"My friends, we have to drill off shore. We have to do it. It’s out there and we can do it. And we can do that. The oil executives say within a couple of years we could be seeing results from it. So why not do it?"

via videosift.com
Why not do it indeed? If we open up drilling, it will be 2030 before what it yields starts affecting price, and if oil prices are rising a dollar a gallon per year (at least) right NOW, how high do you think they'll be by 2030? I'm guessing they'll rise by a lot more than our drilling will be able to offset, especially considering that the 3 billion people in India and China are starting to drive cars now, too. And even if the drilling we open up DOUBLES our oil production, hell, TRIPLES it, QUADROUPLES IT, we'll only be producing a tiny fraction (tinier by then) of what we consume.

Not to mention, when things start getting increasingly expensive, you're not going to give up your F150 and white picket fence house, you're going to lose them.

Option number two? Alternate energy. And saying "Invest in cheap, clean nuclear energy!" doesn't count because there's a secret you're not being told... your car doesn't run on nuclear energy, it runs on gasoline.

What scares people, but what HAS to be done, is huge government plan to get us energy independent, along the scales of what JFK proposed in taking us to the moon, and it WILL be that big of a project, if not larger. Since our infrastructure is built around oil, there is no other way to produce a turn around except on a federal level at the moment. Hey, here's an actual plan...
# Provide short-term relief to American families facing pain at the pump
# Help create five million new jobs by strategically investing $150 billion over the next ten years to catalyze private efforts to build a clean energy future.
# Within 10 years save more oil than we currently import from the Middle East and Venezuela combined.
# Put 1 million Plug-In Hybrid cars -- cars that can get up to 150 miles per gallon -- on the road by 2015, cars that we will work to make sure are built here in America.
# Ensure 10 percent of our electricity comes from renewable sources by 2012, and 25 percent by 2025.
# Implement an economy-wide cap-and-trade program to reduce greenhouse gas emissions 80 percent by 2050.

In other words, use technology that's being developed (and could have been developed 30 years ago) to make the ammount of oil we use equal to what we can produce, rather than trying the impossible policy of trying to make the oil we produce equal to what we use. Not to mention it's possible to produce these cars and technologies to cut our consumption before the yields of drilling are ever felt. If Detroit is making the most efficient hybrids and ethanol cars in the world, and the ethanol is being produced in Wyoming, those jobs aren't going over seas. Why on earth do we want to "lessen" the ammount of oil we're importing to use in Japanese and European cars, rather than eliminating both of those outsources of wealth?

Oh, and also, there's another small problem with the McCain energy policy -- if we try to continue our use of oil, it's going to be a lot harder to drill in Alaska when it's under water.

the 3:30

2008-08-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

numbingly bored today. Nothing to do at the office, I'm faintly looking forward to getting home and doing some painting, but just not feeling inspired in the least bit. Not in the mood to read. Don't feel like wasting time and watching TV, don't feel like going to a bar for a beer, not charismatic enough to call a friend. This might just still be my emotional hangover from the big week I had at squaw valley and san francisco, but I don't think that's it; this is what happens what I get sober for too long.
Now I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious. I get completely lazy and totally devoid of any sort of "drive" to do anything. Nothing seems to matter, and I don't feel like wasting time or energy on anything. This is how I wrote depressing blogs through my freshmen year and played insane ammounts of Diablo II while barely passing my classes, not making any friends, and not even channeling my discontent into any sort of constructive art work, while everyone around me was drinking and partying wildly. It was an awful year. If you want to know what a prohibition version of dan is like, maybe you don't remember these old blogs.
I've decided to meet Adam in the break room and make myself a cocktail that I'm not really in the mood for.

my head's going to explode.

2008-08-15T11:32:00.001-07:00

dan-color
Originally uploaded by mrlovegrove.

I've updated my blog. See? my profile picture now reflects the filty wreck I've grown up to become, the title is no longer "hiroshima" (ah, so sad to see you go old friend!) and it's now dedicated to being my normal blog. Psh, normal? Let's hope not! The word I meant to use was regular.

I might have to retire my old blog, and just link it to here. I'm at work, doing nothing. I'm bored, and everyone's moving places and my friends are moving from japan, or back there, or whatever, and it's driving me crazy with these internal dialogues! Am I reverse-home-sick? these internal dialogues: (stream of consciousness) ~~ I've got a life, yes, what am I waiting for? Should I be waiting for something? I feel like I'm waiting, but I mean to be looking. So I'm passively looking, how is that different than waiting? But the problem is I don't know what I'm looking FOR. Do I want a new job? Yes, but, not immediately. But why not immediately? I dunno, that just seems inconvenient. But if I'm in Reno why not keep this job? If I'm wanting a new job, does that mean i want to move? I don't know if I want to move, so I want a new job, or if I just want a new job, and that means moving. Basically, I am back in Reno, and everyone is practically married and I'm bored. I liked being the different guy everywhere I went. But I have some art commissions here, I could get more? I have a studio, and an easy job, and know everyone in reno, why do I want to move? Maybe I don't and I'm just "adjusting".
I should be saving money at this job though, I don't understand where all of it's going. I'm not really buying anything. Why on earth did I buy a NEW car? I feel like blaming someone for that, but how stupid would that be? It'll be smart in the long run, if I stay in the states, that is. I don't want a car, and don't want to live in a place that demands one. I want to take the subway, the train, the bike, the walk. Maybe a scooter, tops. Either way I feel like I'm wasting money, wasting time. I need to paint more, ride my bike more, eat less, or better anyways, buy cheaper beer, be more social, more confident, more personal, more relaxed. Those can be my immediate goals...

Junk like that, rubbish huh? and the worst part is that my most recent little mental trap is circular. It doesn't seem to have a root or solution, no clear circumstances that bum me out and toss me in those ruts anyways. I mean, within just the past two weeks I've been on the net searching for apartments in Boston, signed up for job-post emails from Japan, tried to apply to the JET program, told danny to find me a job in the UK, considered asking my boss to transfer me to the office in the bay area, and I almost flipped out at John's suggestion we move to fricking ANTARCTICA. But, do I even want to move?? Why am I doing this to myself?? Ugh, now i feel silly for writing such a dumb post. Maybe I just need to stop reading Kerouac. No moral lesson today, kids!

oh-eight unfolds

2008-07-31T14:49:00.001-07:00

I've been sort of re-locating my life. Not that I've been too "busy" to blog, but I sort of felt that now that I live back in Reno, there is no point to my blogging. This didn't really require any rationalization for me, but as I've gotten a little depressed , I had to give this some second thoughts. So, while you might not need "updates" on my life any longer, I shouldn't bump my life into a lower tier just because it's being lived in a different continent than before. Also, that's pretty vain of me to think I was only blogging because I had a group of fans or something that wanted to know what I was doing. So, instead, I am going to blog for myself. Yes, I will renew the celebration and chronicling of my life, a testament to its worthiness of being lived.

Here's what has particularly inspired my blog, besides being bored at my cubicle;
Man decapitates passenger aboard Greyhound bus in Manitoba
Whoah! what's going on here? I remember, around the turn of the year, discussing that 08 was going to be a year "of big things". Important things, epic events, change. And not just Barack Obama-style change, but I feel like the stagnation of this country is catching up, and something is going to fall off. How long can the rest of the world go up in flames while we shop at Wal-Mart? How long can we be distracted by front news covers of petty crime stories and celebrity news, while our own disastrous war reports are buried on page12 next to the pet classifieds?? I dunno exactly, but I think you have a gist of what I mean. But either ways, 2008 seemed to be rolling in with powerful force, and my new years was the herald my prediction.

I'm not making a political point here, but I'm being proven correct-- once the gas prices soar and the economy shrivels, things start getting a little more acute, don't they? There are these "issues" all of a sudden. Things are evolving on a world scale, coming to a head, and we have these bizarre crimes developing in the shadows.
Back to the bus decapitation story.
"While we were watching the door, he calmly walks up to the front with the head in his hand and the knife and just calmly stares at us and drops the head right in front of us.[...] There was no rage in him. He wasn't swearing or cursing or anything. It was just like he was a robot[...] "

cue office e-mail conversation
cameron: Sounds a hell of a lot like the work of a nightbane to me… probably one of the dudes who stole a piece of Stonehenge recently…

me: Hah!! Someone stole a piece of Stonehenge? Dude, you think we have like an epic scenario playing out here? While Obama struggles to come to power to bring justice to the world, other darker and ultimately more important wars of power are happening unknown? Do you think the dude who got decapitated was unknowingly King Arthur’s last direct descendent??

cameron: Or possibly the GRAND DAUGHTER OF CHRIST or Dracula? I dunno man, sounds a hell of a lot like a movie/graphic novel to me.

me: right, what I’m pretty sure is happening is the Omega cult is making a sudden return. Generally they take a century or two to surface; the introduction of Christianity, the barbarian sacking of rome (very successful, as the dark ages lasted hundreds of years), the Inquisition, civil war, assassinations of the 60’s/9-11. But due to the global spreading of “hope” and “unity” they are forced to re-surface faster than they’d planned on? Drastic measures~ after the invasion of iraq and the code of Hammurabi stolen, along with the piece of stone henge and the head of last of the line of Alpha - heir of Alexander/Arthur/Abe Lincoln they can finally open the portal to the end of the universe?

And what about this?
NASA astronaut Edgar Mitchell says alien Earth visits covered up
I mean, it might not just be a year of big things, but astronomical; are we not just coming to a head, but a horizon? Are our silent interstellar watchers going to finally pass judgement on our volitile, ambitious, race?

How sad that during this "important" year, I'm daydreaming about this shit in my cubicle, facing the reality that because his tax cuts will benefit the billionaire owners of cable television, the most likely next president will be the guy giving the press conference in the cheese isle, not the guy giving one simultaneously in the Temple of Hercules across the ocean. The audience of two in front of Schmidt's Sausage Haus, rather than two hundred thousand in Berlin. Sure, the epic 2008 I predicted might be happening, but it's being covered instead by pundits' slander regarding lapel pins, a presidential candidate looking too "presidential" to be president, political ads featuring Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.
The, perhaps fortunate but ulimately more depressing, reality that it wasn't an ancient eternal cult of villians, working for a higher power, who stole the code of hammurabi, but some looters who ran rampant because:
"The Iraq Museum in Baghdad was number two on a list including the Ministries of the Interior, Defense, and Foreign Affairs. The first institution on the list was the Iraqi Central Bank, which was likewise not protected. Only the last institution on the list was protected--the Ministry of Oil."

I'm actually feeling sort of jealous for conspiracy theory nuts for once ~ at least they must be on the edge of their seats. I moved back to Reno hoping to get "involved", somehow reap full rewards of my citizenship which i felt was so dearly missed, but I'm in probably the dullest moments of my life since high-school. What can I do? i've got the ol' office job, and I'm trying like hell to make things happen, well, hitting the bar every night after work anyways hoping to make "contacts". Any ideas, anyone?

in limbo

2008-04-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

I thought I lived in the countryside, but I'm at Alex's house now (he's a JET) and he lives out in the middle of NOWHERE. Perched up on this hill, this tiny city was an hour and a half bus ride out from fukuyama. And it's still freezing here.
It took me some 20 garbage bags full of stuff thrown out to move out of my apartment, i mentioned some of this earlier, but they just kept coming! I got everything mailed home, and that cost about 550 dollars. So, after all of that, I am SO GLAD to be gone. I sat around in my empty apartment for a bit, thinking if there was something I had to do, and when I couldn't think of anything I walked out, locked the door and dropped the key in the mail slot. And I guess that's it? I guess I wasn't necessarily looking for some sort of closure, but... I feel like someone's going to find some excuse to charge me money or something like that.

Now I just have my backpack, my sanshin strapped to it, and my skateboard, and I feel pretty freaking cool.

I have today and tomorrow to kill, then friday i need to be in hiroshima to meet mikey. But what am I going to do? I sort ot of want to split this tiny town and see something more... seeable, but, I don't have anything in mind. I don't have anything to write, either. Welcome to my life. (which, right now, is awesome.)

packing panic

2008-03-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

3 p.m. Soon the sun will drop (Well, not TOO soon, but, you know. Soon enough.)
The more I deconstruct my apartment, the more complicated it becomes. Yesterday, I was pretty depressed about it-- not the complication, but the moving. You understand? You walk open a closet with all the stuff that marks you living here, and just shitcan everything. Toilet paper -- trash. detergent-- trash. cups, bowls, pans, pots --trash. razors, shaving cream, soap, -- trash. Then, by today, that became very liberating. Now I just CANNOT get rid of this last 5% of stuff, i don't know what the heck to do. I just want to burn it all or something. Plagued by a lot of loose ends right now, like books i can't fit, cases for my video games, CD cases.
someone save me!
a bundle of business shirts. I feel like I am obliged to keep them, you know, since i BOUGHT them, but.. i don't want them, and I've already thrown away plenty of stuff i still do kind of want. Yesterday was the worst for this, it's like some messed up psychiatric test -- "what does this person decide dictates his identity/future? uh oh... he kept his flask and 300 page 5 lb. video game manual, but threw away a .0001 ounce drawing of him done by a student? tsk tsk..."
Sorting through messages from kids, photos, every piee of paper or what have you from 2 1/2 years and having to decide "keep or trash?" cool stuff with japanese on it, but that's ultimately trash, you just become more and more efficient at feeding the dumpster, and that's where I'm at now. Just hoping for a fire to come through, because i don't even want ANY of this anymore!!
Well, I'd be mentally,(if also monetarily) relieved if the freakin post office was open today, but those lazy bastards are closed.
So, still got the weight on my shoulders. Just a little longer. When I can pack up this computer (the last thing) and toss it in my suitcase and mail the whole thing home (for like 300 bucks, definately)... then i will be a free man.

here's a couple vids that are keepin me chill~~ relish this guy's timeless coolness

the end of the year

2008-03-24T03:26:00.001-07:00

me mizuki marina and tiharu
Originally uploaded by mrlovegrove.

well, tomorrow's my last day. I've got some pics up, and heres a video of the kids singing the japanese anthem before graduation ceremony. (i've been meaning to film it for awhile, it's a pretty moving national anthem in how it's melancholy rather than.. you know, triumphant? )
hm, i'll post more on here soon. of course. Check my flickr page, though!

å

uh oh

2008-03-18T04:48:00.000-07:00

so i looked at the top of my head with a couple mirrors, and my suspicions are true: i'm definately going bald. All around the top. It sucks because neither of my grandpas are bald, but i am hanging onto a few hopes:

1. I've been using shampoo from the dollar store for a year. I've discontinued as of today, and lets see if it stops or reverses.

2. Maybe I've been this thin for awhile and never noticed. From looking straight in the mirror i still can't tell. So maybe I've flatlined for awhile. This is suitable to me.

3. Maybe once my diet changes when i get back home, things will turn around. I definately get less protein here, but on the other hand my diet is overall more healthy i'd guess, so I don't like this option much, but we'll see how things pan out.

One thing is certain; if my future holds baldness, then I cannot pass up these few remaining years to liberate myself and the people around me by wearing long, badass rockstar, anime character, fantasy hero hair.

I've also decided that Kevin Costner, in "Dances with Wolves", is incredibly sweet. I think the civil war union uniform fashion is going to make a huge comeback somehow, they have tons of rad hats, and the cool sash with the sword and pistol tied over, cool jackets with total lord of the rings boots and gloves. (until he turns into a hippie at the end)

thanks for reading my 2nd most shallow post to date, and pray for my head.

the music of Joe Hisaishi and Studio Ghibli　久石讓Joe

2008-03-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

How's Moving Castle

Laputa: Castle in the Sky

My Neighbor Totoro　となりのトトロ

Princess Mononoke もののけ姫

honestly, hang in there till about 5 and a half minutes

Spirited Away

花火
it's called "hanabi"、or　"fireworks" don't think this is from any film, but sounds like what he re-worked for howl's theme

अ फीलिंग

2008-03-06T02:41:00.000-08:00

why does this webpage keep automatically translating my blog titles into freaking draconic?
I was inclined to write a blog because I was inspired when I changed my facebook status. I'm totally, completely STUCK right now, and need to face it or completely disconnect with myself. In, basically, every aspect I can think of. work, money, social life, you name it. I've had this feeling lately, I'm not going to say for a matter of months, but for... a few months maybe. It's the feeling of generally increasing and unfocused discontent, and stagnation(maybe personal stagflation?). I don't have much of a social life, true, but that's not even it, I've finally figured. Also, whatever has been sort of bugging at me has come to a head-- here I am in kumano, japan; desperately, masochistically, and most important pointlessly following american politics, this is what made me realize it. I'm in the wrong place.
I am headed in to teach every day, though for me it's just marching to the wall of my finishing. I am the sort of person who figures, well, if I know I'm going to quit soon and go home, why stick around? Basically, I am wasting my time, and I pretty much have been for the past 6 months or more that I've known I am just done with teaching english. I've known this inside, but haven't really admitted it. I'm just... stuck here until april 20th.

Also, I'm stuck on this piece of art. Just sitting for hours and hours crunched over my laptop straining my eyes and back peering at this little screen trying to crank out art, that i'm not even succeeding at finishing. This has, generally, been my art process. I want to sit at a DESK. and work on a MONITOR. Agh, I'm excited to pick up an iMac when i get home... but until then I am stuck.

This one might be the most frustrating-- it's not something I talk about much, but that despite popular opinion, i AM interested in: girls. I managed to blow it with the only girls I met while I was here, but have met a couple promises, (of course) in the last month or so, but, I'm going home, so it's moot, fate's cruel joke. In fact, I sort of dread going out socially now, because i just KNOW I'll meet some super cute girl flirting with me and all i can think is "what if!" Like grabbing at smoke.

I wish, though, I could go out and enjoy this last month in japan. Hang out, visit restaurants, shoot the shit, go to bars, travel? But, I let my company stick me in this apartment, and stick it to me with their shit salary, and now I am stuck staying in and saving money.

So, here is what all of that ammounts to, psychologically, I think. It feels... emasculating. Just sitting around waiting day in and day out for your life to change. Also, it makes me depressed-- I'm still in a cool place, and I could be having fun, but instead I resent it. What's difficult about Japan is being totally alienated. You are alien by looks, culture, most importantly language. You have to get used to being around groups of people talking and laughing with each other while you stare at a wall. Now, it's not just the people, but my entire life here that is speaking a different language. I wake up, sit on the bus, plan classes, teach, go to the sushi-shop, and i feel alienated from my own life (which was once very fun) for all of the reasons listed above.

Basically, this feeling which has no outlet boiled up when one think I was waiting for hit another wall, when my man Obama didn't finish off the ice queen and the headlines pop up "long, grueling 7 weeks ahead." It's like... "YEAH, I KNOW. THANKS"

थे

2008-03-04T23:41:00.000-08:00

his is a pretty negative post, but lets face it. She's polarizing.

I am so thoroughly disappointed and depressed about the primary results, or, specifically and unfairly, the residents of ohio and texas~ why didn't you all just vote for obama and get this over with?? I've been anxiously following these elections, and increasingly disgusted by the mud throwing that the clintons keep starting. "Lets smear the person who shows very obvious signs of being our party's nominee!! Quick, dig up/make up something negative sounding, because it'll help us in the short run!" Now a long, grueling, 7 weeks of it? Ugh...

Whether you like clinton, obama, or neither, I feel like we're living in a monarchy in civil war in this country. The halo "red vs. blue" thing hits a little too close to home. I'm only 25, and 20 years of that has been all bushes and clintons. potentially 8 more? Then maybe jeb bush will run?
Clinton avidly hates and wants to "battle" the republicans -- it's the epitome of why so many people hate politics, and therefore choose dis-interest. Maybe that's the goal here -- "if everyone hates us enough, they'll stop caring, then we can do whatever the hell we want." It seems to have worked the last 8 years?
Anyways, it didn't work for democrats in 2004, when they only way to rally behind john kerry was under the slogan "fuck bush". I mean, sorry if i couldn't take that seriously. The thing is, republicans hate the clintons enough that we will see the same slogans i think, except this time it'll probably work.

looking in my crystal ball here is what i see -- we have 7 weeks, and all policy has been debated, 20 times actually, so clinton gets especially nasty here on out. More fear spread, etc... and of course obama attacks back, while the republicans can continue to watch and take notes. After a crippled, extended, negative campaign, half the democratic party is angry with the outcome, most have stopped caring and don't vote, but definately don't campaign in november, and the winner has been discredited enough that mccain mops up. Ugh, i mean, why on earth would clinton run that "3 a.m." commercial, preparing to run against a man with like 50 years of war experience? Yeah, let's focus more on the idea of everyone on the globe trying to kill us, and running around invading more countries.

I'm sick of feeling this way about my country. I wish I could afford some whiskey.

an odyssey

2008-02-27T03:52:00.001-08:00

an odyssey
Originally uploaded by mrlovegrove.

Well, an odyssey in that it was long, and filled with hardships. Maybe less so than everything else I've done though. Lemme explain the process, roughly, of doing this stuff in photoshop.

I sketched the dudes on paper, drew the ship on different paper, took pictures with my phone and uploaded them to the computer. Then i put the pictures on-top of each other and streched/rotated/scooted them around in photoshop, till i thought the guys and ship lined up how i wanted, then just had to drop the opacity of those photos to like 25% and trace right over them onto a new layer to get my main sketch. and all of that, i've found out, is the quickest, easiest way to do it. (I knew thats mainly what people did, but never actually gave it a try before. )
Before this I've always just drawn from scratch on the computer, looking at what i had on paper. That's difficult, by the way, because this file is like 3,000 pixels wide, and to fit that all on the screen you have to be all zoomed out to where you're looking at it at 20% size. So if you're drawing with a brush 3 or 5 pixels wide, basically not only can you not see your cursor, or the lines you're making, but the accuracy goes way down. Once you get zoomed into 100% the lines look like they were drawn with your left hand with parkinsons.
So, basically, you have to zoom in, zoom out, zoom in, zoom out. (while on paper you just look at it closer).

Anyways, I also dealt with more complicated colors on this picture. Meaning, for a lot of these effects I needed to make layer over layer over layer, and my computer just can't cut it. when hitting quicksave it takes a good 40 seconds to build the file every time.
i.e. this is what i mean by layers-- the green "paint" on their suits and the ship has to be a separate layer on TOP of the base color of the ship/their suits, but underneath the texturing (bumps, scratches, splots). (otherwise if you wanted to, lets say, make his helmet a bit darker, you'd draw right over the teal "paint", making it grey,and also wiping out the textures. then you'd have to go draw them both again, over and over as many times as you wanted to touch up/progress the picture. Also, i originally made the paint on his suit red, not green; but since it was its own layer, i just had to slide a bar to change the hue of the whole layer, rather than re-painting it to make it green. ) The same goes for the stars,and for each layer of clouds (there are 6), and for the little lights and plugs on their suits, etc...

Anyways, I always try to use the bare minimum of layers, because it's easy to get obsessive-compulsive about it (making a seperate layer for each piece of clothing, etc...) but mainly because it just frags my poor old laptop.
Well, when I get back, time to finally fork out the dough for a giant screened macintosh.

Hope you learned something about the... diligence of artists, if you had the diligence to make it through this whole post . (and keep in mind i'm still pretty elementary with this program)

2008-02-26T04:33:00.000-08:00

"It sure is cold today, you don't want to go out there without your Barack Obama"
"I was feeling a little stuffy, but since popping a couple Barack Obamas, I feel pretty good"

maybe that's pushing it, but here's a widget showing all the words that have been "officially obamified" by slate.com

Things to do& the "future"

2008-02-16T16:40:00.000-08:00

I'm not used to being in this predicament ~ I mentioned in an earlier post how I look around my apartment and can't fathom how I'm going to get all of this home. It's worsening; before, I saw everything as just balls. You know, big, black, immovable cannonball looking things. Now there are chains attatched to my ankles. I've devoted today to cleaning. I dunno, it might help somehow.
Sorry, I'm not going to talk about sci-fi. So if all of my shit is a fat ball and chain around my ankles, the future has it's needy hands around my throat, pulling. I am trying, but not trying hard enough, to get a good portfolio together. There is this "concept artist" job at bioware i want, badly, to apply for, but basically I don't have a portfolio. I realized I have just barely learned to color. I mean, I've been drawing my whole life, but i really have nothing to show for it. So, now I have 2 pieces that i'm willing to submit. A measly TWO. It's hard to get this shit together when I don't even have a desk.
Anyways, here they are.

oata archmages
Originally uploaded by mrlovegrove.

valentines
Originally uploaded by mrlovegrove.

Now, I need to get some life drawings done, which is easy, and i need to show my ability to draw "architecture" and the evolution of a drawing from idea to finish, and nature together with structures, and my ability to draw in all genres (a.k.a. i've gotta draw some sci-fi. I'm working on sort of a steam-punk picture now.)
So the art thing, i love it, but i'm stressed because it's already been a month, and i'm not even close, and i know that job position will be gone soon.
Besides that, I'm leaving april 20th, but they're telling me i need to be out of my apartment march 31st. So... um.....
I need to get mikey's visit organized, and i can't afford to stay at hotels/ryokans/even internet cafes for a whole 17 days.
On the bright side, obama seems to be taking the lead. God, I wish I made more money. I spent like 40,000 yen last weekend on my birthday. (tattoo plus everything else) Although I usually don't leave my apartment, and just eat peanut butter sandwiches and ramen, I make such measly money, and japan is so expensive...agh.

P.S. notice i changed my banner、which had actually turned embarrassing a long time ago. I had the little "Aeon" logo up there, from when i made this page before i started work, about 2 1/2 years ago.. I was feeling so full of japan frenzy, excited to start work over here, but let me make clear I have hated that company for a full 2 years at least. Anyways, well over due. Enjoy.

rave reviews

2008-02-13T01:43:00.000-08:00

Hear what people are saying about dan's new tattoo:

"AWESOME!!"
and
"Your hair looks so good like this!!!!!
Don't cut it ok??"
-maresa

"o - m - g
that's the most awesome shit ever
[...]
your hair is getting badass too
man, that makes me wanna get a sweet ass tat"
-bilge

"holy shit
[...]
it looks awesome
probably the best tattoo i've ever seen
that is nuts
and you have a lot of hair"
-mikey

"dan.... that is insane. it's freaking huge and it looks freaking sweet. "
-Cam

a chill pill or 4

2008-02-08T01:59:00.000-08:00

After that beer I mentioned, and a few more, I've mellowed out, and am going to make a post chronicling the music that's I've been diggin for the past couple months.
I'm at the end of the stretch here in japan, I've just realized it'll very soon be march, my last month here, then my ass needs to be out. I have no idea how to reverse the moving in process i've done into this country. I'm looking around my trinket-stuffed apartment, looking at my guitar and sanshin and x-box and wii and boxes of junk and i feel like something just got wedged into the gears in my brain.
So, I also bought a melodian, which the kids here play in school. Here's what finally pushed me over the limit and made me buy it.

that's ratatat, head to www.ratatatmusic.com and DL their remix2 album for free~ they toss their music behind some rappers, here's their version of jay-Z's "allure".

Jay is a pretty great rapper but his beats are usually shit. Danger Mouse was also kind enough to re-do one of his tracks. This one is from the grey album, danger's remix of jay's black album and the beatles white album

Also, 9th wonder also re-did the black album, called "black is back". But I'm not gonna post anymore of that.
I'm getting really stoked to come back to america, and am trying to get into the spirit of the country reading politics, etc, so lets take it back from those guys and show an american hero. Marvin Gaye's "What's Goin On?" has made a full circle, sadly, in it's cultural importance. Please sit through this whole track -- it actually is two. What's goin on, and what's happenin brother. I wanted to post "Inner City Blues (make me wanna holler)" cause that's my fav. track on there, but this live is out of this world, so here you are.

here's a pretty famous MC named Insight, who put out an album with this japanese DJ Shin-ski. Dunno if he was just here long enough to get the album together or what? But this video's taped in japan. The 2nd track on this vid is good, Early Days Amazement, but they have this song called "passin by" i really like but couldn't find.

and finally probably the hottest of the lot, MF Doom, the mad flows supervillian, I love this super low production, like he's rappin into a mic over the soundtrack of some 80s show on his VHS, and the vids got the same quality

he's also got out these instrumental volumes, called "Special Herbs" and instrumental stuff is my heaven so these albums are gonna get a lot of listens, i bought vol 4,5,6 on iTunes (Thanks mom!) Here's some samples~

alright, i'm out for now

elections?

2008-02-05T23:48:00.000-08:00

So, in my news scouring of super tuesday, I came across someone's mention of "NSPD-51" or national security presidential directive #51, which gives bush the power to halt elections, if he feels like stepping the war up a notch. Here is an article about it, which wasn't reported in LA, or New York, but the chattanoogan.

President Bush, without so much as issuing a press statement, on May 9 signed a directive that granted near dictatorial powers to the office of the president in the event of a national emergency declared by the president.

The "National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive," with the dual designation of NSPD-51, as a National Security Presidential Directive, and HSPD-20, as a Homeland Security Presidential Directive, establishes under the office of president a new National Continuity Coordinator.

That job, as the document describes, is to make plans for "National Essential Functions" of all federal, state, local, territorial, and tribal governments, as well as private sector organizations to continue functioning under the president's directives in the event of a national emergency.

The directive loosely defines "catastrophic emergency" as "any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government functions."

When the President determines a catastrophic emergency has occurred, the President can take over all government functions and direct all private sector activities to ensure we will emerge from the emergency with an "enduring constitutional government."

Translated into layman's terms, when the President determines a national emergency has occurred, the President can declare to the office of the presidency powers usually assumed by dictators to direct any and all government and business activities until the emergency is declared over.

Ironically, the directive sees no contradiction in the assumption of dictatorial powers by the President with the goal of maintaining constitutional continuity through an emergency.

The directive specifies that the assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism will be designated as the National Continuity Coordinator. Further established is a Continuity Policy Coordination Committee, chaired by a senior director from the Homeland Security Council staff, designated by the National Continuity Coordinator, to be "the main day-to-day forum for such policy coordination."

Currently, the assistant to the president for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism is Frances Fragos Townsend. Townsend spent 13 years at the Justice Department before moving to the U.S. Coast Guard where she served as assistant commandant for intelligence. She is a White House staff member in the executive office of the president who also chairs the Homeland Security Council, which as a counterpart to the National Security Council reports directly to the president.

The directive issued May 9 makes no attempt to reconcile the powers created there for the National Continuity Coordinator with the National Emergency Act. As specified by U.S. Code Title 50, Chapter 34, Subchapter II, Section 1621, the National Emergency Act allows that the president may declare a national emergency but requires that such proclamation "shall immediately be transmitted to the Congress and published in the Federal Register."

A Congressional Research Service study notes that under the National Emergency Act, the President "may seize property, organize and control the means of production, seize commodities, assign military forces abroad, institute martial law, seize and control all transportation and communication, regulate the operation of private enterprise, restrict travel, and, in a variety of ways, control the lives of United States citizens."

The CRS study notes that the National Emergency Act sets up congress as a balance empowered to "modify, rescind, or render dormant such delegated emergency authority," if Congress believes the president has acted inappropriately.

NSPD-51/ HSPD-20 appears to supersede the National Emergency Act by creating the new position of National Continuity Coordinator without any specific act of Congress authorizing the position.

NSPD-51/ HSPD-20 also makes no reference whatsoever to Congress. The language of the May 9 directive appears to negate any a requirement that the President submit to Congress a determination that a national emergency exists, suggesting instead that the powers of the executive order can be implemented without any congressional approval or oversight.

Homeland Security spokesperson Russ Knocke affirmed that the Homeland Security Department will be implementing the requirements of NSPD-51/HSPD-20 under Townsend's direction.

The White House had no comment.

Matthew Hine
Chattanooga

I'm guessing around summer '08 would be a good time for him to carry on a nuclear strike on Iran, and the ensuing catastrophe would be a perfect time for him to declare himself dictator of america. Literally, did you catch that part about congress? and how it negates it? You can find the real thing on the whitehouse webpage, but it's basically written in code.
And he's got the 2008 budget all worked out, at 3.1 trillion. (note, he was the first to propose a 2 trillion budget) Here are some of the programs that will get burned in order to make room for more military spending.

– “$77 billion in funding cuts for Medicare and Medicaid over the next five years, and $280 billion over the next 10.”

– $223 million in funding cuts (4 percent decrease from this year’s levels) to the Children’s Health Insurance Program.

– “$4.9 billion, or 8 percent, cut in education, training, employment and social services” grants.

– $100 million cut for Head Start, which provides child development services to economically disadvantaged children and families.

– “$2.4 billion cut in community and regional development grants — which often provide funding for low- and middle-income communities — to $16.5 billion from $18.9 billion.

– $400 million — 18 percent — cut in the Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program, “which provides $2.2 billion to help people pay heating bills this year.”

– $172 million — nearly 25 percent — cut in funding for housing for low-income seniors.

Also, tax cuts will remain for the wealthiest people in america. The rest of us are screwed.
Meanwhile, the projected deficits do not even take into account funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. CongressDaily (subscription) reports this morning that Bush "is expected today to ask Congress for $70 billion to cover" the cost of the wars "for the first few months of FY09 -- a request that, if approved, could ultimately push the total amount of supplemental spending for military and civilian needs over the $1 trillion mark over the life of this administration." (more)

I'm starting to remember why I usually ignore politics. Time to have a beer.
:(

p.s. i'm reading barack obama's "the audacity of hope" and it's pretty brilliant. He is genuinely interested in closing the chasm, which is full of boiling lava and fire, between the red and blue. You know, healing our country, and stuff. Maybe I'll read it later for a little bit of optimism.

ROFL

2008-02-01T22:57:00.002-08:00

today's penny arcade made me laugh so hard, out loud, that I almost rolled on the floor. Well, not quite, and i still hate the expression, but here you are~

I don't actually know what it would look like if a lightsaber cut through a chunk of red crystal embedded in a mound of onyx. If you were to simulate it, as long as things are mostly lining up I'm going to accept it and move on. Same goes for a set of plasteel blast doors crumpled by The Force. Actually, most materials can be simulated in such a way that the mind could carry the one and make it work, in science fiction especially. But when people move in ridiculous ways, all the hard work you put into the rest of that world is obliterated. If a crate hits another crate, that's fine. If a person tries to grab a crate, that is also fine. The trouble comes when people grab onto other people and pirouette off into infinity.

ROFL

2008-02-01T22:57:00.001-08:00

today's penny arcade made me laugh so hard, out loud, that I almost rolled on the floor. Well, not quite, and i still hate the expression, but here you are~

I don't actually know what it would look like if a lightsaber cut through a chunk of red crystal embedded in a mound of onyx. If you were to simulate it, as long as things are mostly lining up I'm going to accept it and move on. Same goes for a set of plasteel blast doors crumpled by The Force. Actually, most materials can be simulated in such a way that the mind could carry the one and make it work, in science fiction especially. But when people move in ridiculous ways, all the hard work you put into the rest of that world is obliterated. If a crate hits another crate, that's fine. If a person tries to grab a crate, that is also fine. The trouble comes when people grab onto other people and pirouette off into infinity.

2008-01-28T00:26:00.000-08:00

So the music teacher at school gave me one of the recorders today, an alto. I'm pumped to play it, though recorders aren't quite the coolest instruments ever. I've been youtubing them, and here is my inspiration.

I reckon if i could lay it on like this guy, I could totally swoon the babes. Especially with my long hair, I could get a sort of kenny-g thing going on?

man... I wasn't the coolest kid in the dorms, but at least I wasn't videotaping myself playing celine dion on the recorder. Wonder who this guy's poor roommate is.

It's snowing like crazy here, and I'm torn between things to do. I have like 2 months of pictures to get up, so be on the lookout for those. I also have an art commission, and still need to get my portfolio together, and have also started reading barack obama's "the audacity of hope". But it's hard not to just turn on the x-box and run around with my redguard hitting monsters in the face with fireballs and my mace.
so, within the next day I will either a.) be rocking the flute b.) have a good portrait finished c.) have some good stories documented or d.) be archmage of the mage's guild.

i'm sorry about this~

2008-01-11T05:40:00.000-08:00

there's some issues i don't agree with, and i hate to bring up politics (really hate) but i've become genuinely fascinated with this man. I'd heard his name and thought it kind of tabboo, but finally caved and watched some videos.
I would support obama, or clinton, or maybe edwards in office, but anyways, i think ron paul's changes are a bit more important. the video's a bit cheesy, the music cliche, but the quotes you read are genuinely backed by his records ever since he's held office, and most of these quotes are taken from the middle of debate, not prepared speeches.

Basically, the US foreign policy... living overseas, let me tell you, is a bitch. Everyone hates us. I'm young, and when I think of our country I've always feared the future. What?!? That's horrible! think about it. I have never met a non-american (besides japanese) and not gotten shit for my country. Never. I actually shrug when I meet people here, "yeah, i'm american (what can i say?)" it's the worst feeling ever, but if you don't do it you get attacked. i feel like abortion, immigration, and all of those issues that everyone debates over are just a candidate's way of getting you to vote against your own interests, and are just dividing our country. Basically, that sort of stuff we get so fired up about should be decided on a state level anyways, (ron paul has made me realize.)
well... watch it. I won't argue with you on anything, that's not really my field, but i think he needs some exposure that's been denied him by his own party. (scumbags)

men with long hair

2008-01-10T05:07:00.000-08:00

just a little bit of inspiration for us out there. (i now, proudly, have to use the women's haircuts for my Mii.)

(made using Mii Editor

http://menwithlonghair.blogspot.com/
also... this page cracks me up.

New Years Resolutions

2008-01-05T00:02:00.001-08:00

Kirin Beer in Hiroshima
Originally uploaded by Jippolito.

I've not been a very active blogger lately, and when I have the content hasn't been very hearty. I know... I know. Just "check out this videogame picture" etc...
Thanksgiving, christmas, new years, all come and gone! Now we start the hard part of the festiveless, cold brutal winter. I hate the months January, February, and March. They are total shit, and even though my birthday is in february, so is valentines day and I dread it. So let the blogging begin! Let's steel ourselves, readers (mom)!
* note to kurt, you also read my blog! And I haven't replied to your kind message. Long time no talk, eh? I will. Just a sec.
Mikey is coming to visit me at the beginning of april when I finish my contract, and we're gonna go on a rock star tour of japan then head back. Then I'll be home. For reals. I never give anyone a definitive answer as to what I'm doing, cause I don't REALLY know, ("you're leaving april dan?!?" "nah, i'm sure i'll still be here..") I dunno, I'm loyal. Or cowardly. Can't tell. But, I need to be home, I need to have a normal life with friends, be able to buy soda and play dungeons and dragons, have people to play games with. Games in ENGLISH. stuff like that.

What's your new years resolution? I've decided it's time to get my tattoo. I've wanted one for... 7 years? I WAS waiting until i turned 18, when I'd get one, but it never came. So, I've sat on it long enough and need to get one while still in japan. I always figured "when i see it, i'll know it" like... true love or something? I learned to give up on the "true love" finding you, so I don't know why I still desperately clutched that "the true tattoo design" concept with such desperation. So it's been my art project for the last month or so, and will be the direction we take with this post. I'm super excited about it now that I am taking art more and more seriously.
First of all, I've decided to get a kirin. You can read about them here.
Wikipedia
or this crazy tattoo guy's page
it's also a good memento of hiroshima (main picture of this post). They're the spawn of a phoenix and dragon i believe? Anyways, if I were to have gotten a tattoo, without coming to japan, it probably would have been a dragon anyways, so it's perfect. And after drawing dozens of these buggers over the past month or two it's really grown on me.

Here are some of the pics I've done...

I have done a LOT more than that, but it's come down to the first and last one basically. I've worked out the colors pretty well, the bulk dark part will be super dark brown, with light brown for the "shading" and the light yellow and purple highlights.
I really like the design where there's two of them, (there's a brief explanation for that, too, if you check it on flickr.) but it would have to be huge, and i don't want it that big. And, yes, the ”キリン” will be hidden in there. Or, not really "hidden", but in there anyways.

the clock's ticking, gimme some input if you have any?

A Tale of Ordinary Madness:

flatlining!

yes, we did.

cars, trucks, and automobiles (and dominionism)

the 3:30

my head's going to explode.

oh-eight unfolds

in limbo

packing panic

the end of the year

uh oh

the music of Joe Hisaishi and Studio Ghibli 久石讓Joe

अ फीलिंग

थे

an odyssey

Things to do& the "future"

rave reviews

a chill pill or 4

elections?

ROFL

ROFL

i'm sorry about this~

men with long hair

New Years Resolutions

the music of Joe Hisaishi and Studio Ghibli　久石讓Joe