Anchor States

Euro tour recap

2009-07-03T08:15:00.010-04:00

The Murphy's Law European Tour 2009, 6/15-7/1

"A disaster a day keeps the hubris away"

Seems like everyone else beat me to pictures and videos. I'll post some of my own pictures later, but for now you can find videos here, here, here, here, and here. Other people's pictures of the shows we're putting in a Myspace album.

First, what went wrong:
-My amp was overweight for the airline, had to pay $150 to get it to Poland
-None of the requested equipment rented, had to play first show with reduced backline
-Spent a whole day looking for power converters, which don’t seem to exist in Poland
-Buses switched to vans, have to wait four hours to figure out rental trailer at last second because gear won’t fit
-Not enough seats left for my sister to join up with tour in Brno despite assurances to contrary, even though she bought her plane ticket specifically for the tour back in February.
-Athens show rental amp has blown tube and nonworking footswitch
-Athens show doesn’t break even, John gets hassled for money
-Two people have to sleep in the van in Brno to allow my sister and her friend a place to stay, since it turned out they weren’t even budgeted for at all
-All tour cash gets “lost” after Brno show (no one seems to care…?)
-My wife loses her wedding band in Budapest
-Rainy and freezing cold for 48 hours, clothes won’t dry
-Roof of Vienna venue leaks during bands’ sets, equipment gets wet
-3 people get sick (respiratory virus)
-After two straight 9 hour drives, van starts leaking fuel in Belgium, sprays the trailer
-Poor organization/curfew in Berchem means Rosetta only plays one song, lots of angry people demand their money back for the show
-Had to sleep in venue in Berchem, air mattresses deflate during the night & mosquitoes bite everyone; my wife's face swells so badly her right eye shuts
-Fest in Knokke is in a warehouse with no bathrooms and no electricity, amps buzz wildly because of the gas generator used for power
-Had to cancel Hamburg show because the routing is impossible --- not enough time to actually drive nine hours from Belgium to Germany and then turn around and make it back to Belgium for next show
-“Secret show” was actually not a show at all, it was just never booked to begin with
-On morning of canceled show day in Belgium, Andrew’s lung collapses and he has to have surgery to repair it, leaves tour, stays in the hospital for a week
-Berlin show falls through
-Last minute replacement for “secret show” draws precisely zero people, no money and only one shirt sold
-GPS goes crazy multiple times, takes us around in circles
-Driving from Holland to Poland, second van has a wreck, possibly totaled
-At final show in Gdynia, no hospitality, no sound check, and Sepultura’s drum set takes up so much of the stage that Rosetta can’t fit on it, and we almost didn’t play.
-GPS goes crazy on the way to the airport causing us to almost miss our flight home

Regular old dislikes:
-Too much drinking and not enough exploring
-Group is too big to go anywhere expediently
-Final tour routing didn’t make sense, unreasonable drives
-Would prefer reliable equipment and tight logistics to cushy accommodations and hot food
-Cocaine?? Really?!

Positives:
-Encores almost every night, including some double encores
-Sold a ton of merch
-People drove to see us from all over:

Latvia/Ukraine/Sweden/Russia >> Poland
Bulgaria/Macedonia >> Athens
Moscow >> Prague
Croatia/Romania >> Budapest
and probably lots of other places I'm not aware of.

-Went on a 24-hour “date” with the wife to Amsterdam
-Cathedrals are awesome
-Post-soviet Europe is full of super nice people
-Glad to count Mojo, Jon, Milan, Davy, and the Blindead guys as new friends.
-Got to meet some internet friends in person for the first time
-Beautiful countryside
-Incredible food and hospitality from basically everyone
-Goregrind and black metal jokes
-Insane crowds who know the words and go crazy
-Learning about cultural differences between white people. White people are not all the same!
-Coming to appreciate some ways that America really is unique in a positive way
-Got to play after Sepultura (can't believe they agreed to this) in Gdynia to a sweet audience who stayed way too late to see us play, now I can say that "Sepultura opened for Rosetta"

I'm sure I'll be able to reflect more on this with time. It's not the kind of experience that I can say was good or bad by some scalar measure. It's not even primarily an experience (which implies a kind of consumption). Touring is work --- which is to say, production --- with particular hardships and particular perks.

Pedals (update)

2009-05-27T22:23:00.004-04:00

An update on pedals, since the last time I posted my layout was in December 2006. The Ibanez WD-7 wah pedal from my previous setup is now for sale ($45, contact me if you're interested).

Over time this has started to look more and more like a Boss product display. That's mainly because of a subconscious feeling that Boss pedals "sound better" --- which is in fact because they play well together. Tone suckage is minimized when all the pedals have the same source impedance and line level characteristics --- which generally only happens when they're all from the same manufacturer. "True bypass" minimizes this problem and lets you mix and match. None of these are "true bypass," but there are no impedance mismatches, so it doesn't matter. All the non-Boss stuff is on loop A of the Line Selector. I had tried an MXR 10-band EQ to get more control than the GE-7, but it didn't play well with the Boss gear. It is now on my other board.

In praise of metal: gender

2009-05-05T12:00:00.018-04:00

Metal, as I experience it, seems to contain part silly histrionics and part genuine heroism. The proportion of those parts depends on the context. I'm beginning to frame this experience in terms of gender --- as I've tried to understand why metal as a genre and subculture is so male-dominated, I've concluded that it's not because of a "club" mentality or intentional exclusion of women. (There are plenty of examples, such as Arch Enemy's Angela Gossow, of women who equal and outdo their male counterparts in both skill and presence. These women are accorded enormous respect in the community --- probably more than men, from an acknowledgment that their climb is steeper.) I'm beginning to think that the overwhelming male composition has to do with the activity/identity function that metal provides: the opportunity for a non-destructive expression of traditionally "masculine" activities and values.

In other words, the demands of the music --- technical virtuosity, group coordination, extreme stamina, harsh environment, and risk --- form a fairly complete surrogate for soldiery. Participants are afforded the opportunity to "train" both individually and in groups, then engage in a public "test" (performance) that involves some degree of courage and/or risk, where they must prove themselves to a critical audience which judges skill, innovation, and authenticity simultaneously. If they can do this well and repeatedly, they get to be "heroes" --- achievers in the most concrete sense, physically doing things which seem at least marginally super-human.

This is probably why almost all metal fans have at one time or another been in a metal band. You can't really say this about fans of other genres. This culture of participation and production-imperative is actually quite at odds with the prevailing norms of spectatorship and entertainment consumption. It's one more dimension of the outsider nature of metal and its devotees (that's a separate discussion, though).

Neo-luddites would probably call this kind of subculture a "surrogate activity" which is a result of our daily work's total abstraction from the struggle for biological survival. I don't wholly buy that explanation, but the concept works here in a gender sense. Whatever your opinion of the nature or value of gender, the opportunity for heroism that metal provides is irresistable to many males whose gendered valuation of strength, stoicism, manual skill, and stamina has been declared obsolete or pathological by a post-modern, post-feminist society.

I absolutely do not blame feminism itself for this. I blame the industrialization of killing and the broader mistakes of the 20th century for creating a backlash. In that backlash we have erroneously conflated the masculine ideal with aggression. Even the most grossly patriarchal societies have codes of honor designed to elevate masculinity and contain aggression. What I am saying is that "masculine" ideals which formerly found their expression in conflict and battle must now have other outlets, both because of the inevitable and appropriate obsolescence of honor-governed warfare and because of new ways of living. The problem is that we threw the baby out with the bathwater and disenfranchised a large segment of society -- men who usually have no problem at all with women as their full equals and superiors, but whose very personalities have been inadvertently declared toxic waste by the cultural establishment, because they happen to value traditionally masculine traits and roles in themselves.

This environment will necessarily create the context for outsider subcultures. In our society, the males who feel disenfranchised by gender erasure and least able to adapt to it are also usually the ones least able to mount an intellectual critique against it. This is not because they're stupid, it's because the academy usually finds this type of person unsuitable for intellectual training. These males turn to other outlets, which fall at various places on a continuum from destructive (violence) to valueless (frat-boy antics) to potentially constructive (endurance/survival sports, exploration, etc.). The fact that apathy and destruction are often associated with this venting is probably only a confirmation that there is an underlying feeling of wholesale rejection, or at least a sense that society will never ascribe true importance to these people or their characteristics.

All of this is to say that I think metal often gets placed in the "destructive" or "valueless" categories, because it is seen as either morally detrimental and anarchic or simply immature and crass. While that can be true, I would argue that it is equally often a highly constructive pursuit, particularly for disenfranchised men.

Its constructive nature lies in the heroism I mentioned above. Of course there are myriad examples of the merely-entertaining and the outright lowbrow in metal, just as there are in society at large. These include the silly histrionics mentioned above --- guitar solos for the sake of showing off, shocking stage shows just for stimulus' sake --- that make the genre seem artistically irrelevant. But when a confluence of artistic, intellectual, and especially technical skills and energies are poured holistically into it, metal --- arguably more than other forms of musical expression --- becomes a vehicle for the explosive and the sublime, a collective experience of enormous power. It requires a "heroic" effort and skill to make such an experience possible.

That experience goes beyond entertainment into identification and ritual, which may be the real reason that "mainstreamers" often find metal threatening, though they can't articulate a specific offense. The relationship between performer and listener is reciprocal and vital, which might also explain the imperative of authenticity, and aversion to "poseurs" and hangers-on. If the experience is exclusive, it is only exclusive of those whose personal motives are suspect --- in other words, simply those who do not have the "community's" best interests in mind, because their involvement doesn't have to do with music participation, but rather with image or money. It is almost never exclusive on the basis of identity.

Returning to the point: this experience is not for males only, nor is it about masculinity. I think the form simply attracts a disproportionate number of males because it provides a uniquely suitable outlet for otherwise unvalued "masculine" traits.

These thoughts were forcefully brought home to me while I watched Buried Inside play on Saturday and Sunday night. Their music is technically, lyrically, and emotionally complex, and their performance instantiated and affirmed those qualities. Nick's and Andrew's shouted choruses over the pounding drums and guitars had a tragic melancholy that still contained defiance. It was masculine, but not macho --- a measured sadness about important things expressed with subtlety, yet at earshattering volume. To be so vulnerable, yet so imposing and so skilled, weaving a heart-and-mind narrative in rumble, pounding, and screaming, is truly heroic. It took a very long time for this level of seriousness and complexity to emerge in the form, but here it is. Metal might simply have been growing up all this time, with all the attendant growing pains.

There may come a day when it is no longer so male-dominated, but that would require a mainstreaming of the values and priorities of a "new masculinity" --- probably still very far off, if it is possible at all. Then, either the functions and uses of the form would shift to other areas or it would simply disappear. It's hard to say.

(And to end with a conceited, discriminatory, and completely unfounded assertion: the extraverts gave birth to metal in its histrionic infancy, but the introverts have inherited it in its more heroic maturity. Thus the shedding of the sex-drugs-rocknroll archetype for the crusty, brooding dirge-writer. Natural progression from cocky Achilles to strong-silent George Washington? Ha!)

House

2009-04-27T09:42:00.004-04:00

Linshuang and I are buying this house:

I apologize for the "search engine" pictures, but they're all I have right now. We'll most likely be moving in July, after Rosetta gets back from Europe (both of us are going). Now the chaos of inspections, appraisals, mortgage, and settlement begins...

This neighborhood (Kingsessing) is a place I keep coming back to. I taught Kindergarten here during my year off between high school and college, and I lived around the corner from this house for the 6 months before I got married. Technically the place could be considered either Kingsessing or Cedar Park, since it's on the NE side of 52nd street between Warrington and Springfield. You can see the whole city skyline from the roof. We'll probably build a deck up there.

Since it's a 6-bedroom house and there are only two of us, we are actively looking for renters (people we know/trust). If you're interested, let us know.

A study in blacks

2009-04-05T19:27:00.002-04:00

"When Metal Dudes Do Laundry"

Another tech post: "The red guitar"

2009-03-30T12:14:00.011-04:00

This has been my main stage instrument since Spring of 2007, and I used it to record all tracks on Wake/Lift except Temet Nosce. It's a 2005 Gibson Les Paul Studio, finished in wine red. It had gold/black hardware when I got it, which I swapped for cream almost immediately. Originally it had EMGs in it --- taken from the destroyed cream Les Paul that I used to record Galilean Satellites --- but after having been off the active-pickup kool aid for almost a year in Spring '07, I got tired of the sound quickly.

I went hunting for something that would sound closer to the Velvet Brick pickup in my Sonex-180 (used to record Au Pays Natal and Absent... more on this guitar in another post), but higher output. Since the Sonex is made of "resinwood", the Velvet Brick sounds much less thrilling (more compressed and middy) when moved to a mahogany Les Paul. The closest thing I could find to what I was looking for was the Gibson Dirty Fingers bridge pickup, which I combined with an uncovered 490R in the neck position. I recorded Wake/Lift with this configuration, and the guitar served this way until this past Winter.

I'm now using a Bare Knuckle Pickups Painkiller set. On strong recommendations, I got in touch with Tim Mills from BKP and picked his brain about what I was looking for, and he recommended this. It's the closest I've ever heard to the open tonal character of the Velvet Brick, but with even less compression, more volume, and vastly more clarity in the low end. It's extremely flattering to downtuned mahogany guitars, especially with really heavy strings. My bridge pickup is F-spaced, since this is one of the few guitars where Gibson used a 53mm string spacing at the bridge instead of 50mm. The saddle cuts look strange this way, since the replacement Tune-o-matic bridge I installed is a standard 50mm spacing, but the stock pickup on the guitar was 53mm and the saddles were cut accordingly off-center on the original bridge. In practice it makes no difference, but it's nice to have the polepieces lined up properly.

The guitar is tuned Bb F Bb Eb G C, or four semitones detuned with a dropped low string. The gauges used are .013/.017/.026/.036/.046/.062. The overall tension here is actually higher than in standard tuning with a set of .010-.046 strings. Even with the large jump from the F to Bb strings, the lowest string is still lower tension than the others. I also had to flip the bridge backwards to get extra intonation adjustment to compensate for the low tuning, regardless of the different core/wrap ratios I tried. The nut is now a Graphtec Trem-nut, which helps make tuning slicker with big strings.

All controls except the neck pickup volume pot are disconnected. I have no need for tone controls, and rather than waste time trying to find a 1-megohm long-shaft pot for a Les Paul, I opted to hardwire the bridge pickup directly to the switch. I love running pickups wide-open (see the post on the Frankencaster). I can still roll back the neck pickup volume for more mellow tones.

After playing an 8-string for a while, this guitar feels like a miniature. But it's still the instrument I use the most often, and it has the most reliably-good tone in the widest variety of situations. It's also the easiest to play, which is why I generally don't use it to practice with at home. I haven't toured with anything else since early 2007.

Updates

2009-02-28T00:10:00.002-05:00

A couple things:

1. This site got a minor face lift, which it really needed. Everyone knows that when it comes to actual content, I hold Web 2.0 standards and legibility in high regard. This site does not qualify, though, since it is devoid of any "real" content and exists to perplex more than to inform. So I will make no effort -- ever -- to make the font bigger, label any of the links, or create an appropriate visual hierarchy to organize the "information," although I will tell you that you can ALWAYS find out what something is by mousing over it and looking at the little tool tip that pops up. Just explore, you're poking around in someone else's head anyway. And no, you're not allowed to zoom in to read it.

2. I got a Twitter account. Go ahead, laugh. I wouldn't care about Twitter except that it neatly integrates into the sidebar of blogs, giving a convenient channel for one-line thoughts that don't contain enough to be turned into real posts. It will help clear my head, and I'll post tour blurbs to it too. It also allows me to get headlines and miscellaneous snark easily and efficiently. Follow if you desire. I still refuse to join Facebook, because it's creepy, evil, intellectually vacuous, and dehumanizing. Twitter could be intellectually vacuous, since it intrinsically prohibits depth, but I like to think of it as a challenge of conciseness.

Writing

2009-02-20T19:20:00.007-05:00

Generally speaking, I do better with list-making than with actual writing. I would much rather make a list of "top 10 things I would change about myself" or "top five strengths" or "action items" (shoot me, please) than actually write a coherent account or argument to communicate the same information.

I'm not sure whether this makes any definitive statement about the nature of my self-reflection, or maybe it's that in my mind the "task" of writing can't be separated from the academic imperative to create a defensible argument. (This may be of a piece with my wife's blog syndrome.) The main problem is that my written communication can't develop through practice, because false imperatives strangle the possibilities of new modes and new fronts. Part of me wishes I had taken creative writing in college, but another part knows it would have been awkward, mostly due to the inevitably forced display of personal inadequacy. We rarely go into situations where we're required to show off what we're not good at.

I wonder too if the nonlinear process I use (to write papers: I "build" them) might itself be partially responsible for my Germanic and analytical tendencies. Sentences are intrinsically one-dimensional; I think three-dimensionally. I compromise by writing two-dimensionally. With enough revision, there's no penalty on fluency, but certainly some magic narrative element is lost. I don't have the gift of surprise anymore.

I don't experience my own texts because I see them the way an architect (or more properly, a contractor) sees a building. Words then primarily form systems, not stories. Thus the criterion or standard is an absence of flaws, not the presence of some human response or impulse. Again, it comes back to a desire to be unassailable, rather than human -- which might be the opposite, anyway.

(As an experiment, I wrote this on a piece of paper in a single sitting in a restaurant, without revision.)

The Frankencaster (a.k.a. the Telesmashter)

2009-02-10T12:28:00.006-05:00

Nobody asks about this guitar because I haven't recorded anything "serious" with it apart from (Temet Nosce). But it's probably my favorite because it's so weird, and it's one of a kind.

It started as a standard MIM Fender '72 Telecaster Deluxe reissue, made in 2006. I bought it to replace my '87 Les Paul, which had been destroyed by heat and botched neck repairs. '72 Tele Deluxes are electrically identical to Les Pauls -- two humbuckers with two volumes, two tones, and a 3-way switch -- but sound radically different because of the traditionally-Fender materials and construction. The reissue pickups, while oversized, are in fact average humbuckers that have been sized up to look like the original Seth Lover-designed Wide Range humbuckers. The original '72 Deluxes had 1MΩ pots, but the reissue uses 250kΩ, presumably as a cost-cutting measure. Replacing the 250ks with 1Ms makes a substantial sound improvement to the instrument. I used the guitar this way with Rosetta in Fall of 2006.

The first things to go were the pickups. I initially swapped in two EMGs which I had previously used in a Les Paul, but quickly removed them because they weren't wide enough for the huge 2-1/4" string spacing -- a result of the "vintage style" Strat hardtail bridge -- and the outside strings had a noticeably lower volume. After realizing that the spacing is so weird that appropriate aftermarket pickups would be vanishingly rare, I gambled on the only other drop-in option I had: Rio Grande's '72 Big Bottom Humbucking set. This set is their Vintage Tallboy humbucker for the neck and Muy Grande humbucker for the bridge, rebuilt specifically for the '72 Tele. The nicest part about these units is the 4-conductor wiring for coil splitting. These models are single-coil-specific designs that have simply been doubled into humbuckers. I replaced the two tone controls with push/pull pots to switch between single-coil and humbucking mode on each pickup. The guitar did duty this way in Rosetta in Winter/Spring of 2007, but I went back to the stock neck pickup because I only used the bridge pickup in Rosetta and the weaker Fender reissue pickup caused less sonic interference ("stratitis").

I was surprised and pleased at the versatility and sweet sound, but eventually decided the bridge humbucking wasn't really suitable for Rosetta. The Muy Grande output was huge but the combination of AlNiCo magnets and high DC resistance didn't allow enough treble attack, and I felt the guitar was being misused and undervalued in that context. So it gave way for yet another Les Paul (the red guitar) and became my home experimentation instrument. At this point I set it up as a straight baritone guitar, tuned B E A D F# B, and set about trying to maximize its potential for new sounds.

The main change was a custom pickguard from Warmoth, routed for the full-size 4-bolt pickup at the bridge and a standard 2-bolt Gibson humbucker at the neck (where the string spacing is not a problem). I opted for only two control holes --- one for a volume pot and one for a switch.

The current neck pickup is a Gibson Dirty Fingers 4-conductor humbucker (I added a nickel cover from an old 490R, it helps with hum in split-coil mode). This is one of the only ceramic pickups I find tolerable for the neck position, and it seems to flatter this guitar and its low tuning, more so than the Gibson 490R I tried first. I previously had the Dirty Fingers in the bridge of my Les Paul before swapping in a Bare Knuckle Painkiller there. I don't know of anyone else using the DF in the neck position, and certainly not on a Tele. Gibson claims it is "bridge only," but in fact its spacing is the same as Gibson's "neck" models (50mm), narrower than their other "bridge" models (53mm) like the 498T.

The bridge pickup is hardwired to the switch and output, with no volume/tone controls. With zero loading from any pots, this gives maximum output and attack, mitigating the Muy Grande's overly-warm tendency. The silver toggle switch shorts the middle wires to the hot wire, bypassing the lower coil and running the upper coil by itself. The neck pickup is wired to a 500k volume pot with a DPDT pull-switch. This switch shorts the middle wires to ground, running the upper coil by itself. When blending both pickups in single-coil mode, using "opposite" coils like this results in hum cancellation, just like that of the middle switch positions on later model Strats. With the Dirty Fingers at lower height, plus the cover, and with the pot loading, it matches up just perfectly with the Muy Grande in terms of output and blending. See below for a schematic.

This guitar is also fully shielded internally, using copper foil. Shielding doesn't completely eliminate hum from single-coils, but makes a noticeable difference. I tried shielding the pickup coils themselves, but hum was still present and it dulled the sound.

Tuning the guitar baritone B to B presents some challenges -- both in the accuracy of tuning and with staying in tune. It also requires higher-than-usual action to accomodate heavier strings, more slack, or both. I use a 14-18-28w-38-48-58 set for this guitar. To give a finer tuning ratio, I installed Steinberger gearless tuners. These use screw shafts to pull the string into the headstock, without gears, at a 40:1 ratio. They work well. You won't need to enlarge the existing mounting holes, but the Steinbergers require a small (1/16") auxiliary hole pointing in the direction of the nut. Getting the Fender tuners out is also a pain, since the topside inserts are wedged tightly in the mounting holes and can take the finish off as they come out, if not tapped out carefully.

To reduce friction and increase sustain, I replaced the high string tree, nut, and saddles with Graph Tech lubricated models. The lower string tree is a roller model, which worked better with the tuning machines so close to it. Replacing the nut required that I re-profile it, which also allowed me to fine-tune the setup for baritone tuning and larger strings. This is an absolutely necessary procedure if you're going to drastically change tuning or string gauge. I don't use needle files -- instead, I use the folded edge of a piece of 620-grit sandpaper. It's slower, but works well.

Obviously, the guitar is quite versatile. I have not found the absence of tone controls or a second volume knob to be a practical limitation. The amp isn't "covering the deficiency" either, since I primarily use this guitar with two Valve Juniors that have no tone controls themselves.

As far as tone, single-coil mode on either pickup is excellent and very characteristic of a Telecaster, and the blended sound between them is actually much better than most other Telecasters I've heard played that way. In addition to canceling hum, it has broad harmonic response without being harsh or spitty. Being able to fade the neck pickup in and out without changing the bridge pickup's output is an excellent way to tweak for tone. In humbucking mode, both pickups have extraordinarily high output, but different character. The DF in the neck position is very deep, but retains a lot of treble clarity, far better than the 490R. The Muy Grande in the bridge has the most mids I've ever heard, period. I don't use it for clean sounds except when blended with the neck pickup and a bright switch on the amp engaged --- but it sounds incredible for high gain, very smooth and responsive.

EDIT 4/2009: I'm now tuning this guitar A to A, or sometimes drop-G, using string gauges .014, .018, .028W, .038, .050, and .070. I have also removed the string trees entirely, since I found that the Steinberger tuners make them unnecessary.

Clothes

2009-02-04T15:39:00.008-05:00

The first fashion article I ever personally related to:

With the recent decline in our security, industry and standing, that nostalgia for a prelapsarian America (and the durable domestic goods that defined it) seems to have settled over the stylish set here at home. "Ironically, it's largely because of overseas interest that Americans can now wear real American stuff," says Michael Williams, a fashion publicist who covers Americana on his blog, A Continuous Lean. "They're recognizing that heritage and quality are precious in our disposable Wal-Mart world." It's as if globalization has come full circle, creating both an appetite for cultural anchoring and a fashion to feed it.
-Authentic Americana, Newsweek, Jan. 31 2009

This seems to be quite a bit different from the "Ted Kaczynski chic" of four or five years ago and the ironic trucker hat and Carhartt jacket fad in Williamsburg. At least, it seems to espouse some kind of sincere admiration and nostalgia for the "strong silent," Cormac McCarthy-ish masculine archetypes, which haven't been in the eye of haute couture since Jackson Pollock. (I would say McCarthy himself, as an artist, is one of these heroic American males --- though in a far more quiet and introspective way than Pollock). After Pollock's self-destruction, the "dandies" took over as taste-makers, ultimately begetting metrosexuals 40 years later. The difference between this newest fashion statement -- born of economic anxiety -- and the hipster "white trash" fashion trend is earnestness.

By choosing clothes that exist for a reason, young urbanites are defying the metrosexual mores of recent years and trying to participate in a testosterone-rich tradition instead. It's still fashion, of course. But it's fashion that fulfills a masculine ideal rather than a feminine one: function over frill. Superficial or not, that shift has come as a relief for men who already spend more time working with their MacBooks than their hands—a sign that they aspire to be as strong and silent as their rougher-hewn predecessors.

That may be superficial, but it's more confidence-inspiring than this. Granted, I won't pay those prices just to 'look like' something that I already am: I don't want just to look like I do skilled manual labor (a simulation), I want to do skilled manual labor. But at least the underlying logic is similar to my own set of criteria -- I select clothing with use in mind. The return to function dictating form is reassuring to me, but I'm also fascinated that this emphasis on functionality seems to be regarded as both distinctly masculine and distinctly American.

Edit 2/11/09: That is, fascinated in a semi-annoyed kind of way. I appreciate and endorse elevating function above form, and the higher valuation of build quality and durability -- but the association of those values with "American masculinity" perplexes me. The Teen Vogue link illustrates the infuriating counterpart -- the association of absurd frivolity with femininity.

The result of the scientific metanarrative

2009-01-28T22:25:00.006-05:00

The judge concludes:

It makes no difference what men think of war, said the judge. War endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner. That is the way it was and will be. That way and not some other way.

...

The judge smiled. Men are born for games. Nothing else. Every child knows that play is nobler than work. He knows too that the worth or merit of a game is not inherent in the game itself but rather in the value of that which is put at hazard. Games of chance require a wager to have meaning at all. Games of sport involve the skill and strength of the opponents and the humiliation of defeat and the pride of victory are in themselves sufficient stake because they inhere in the worth of the principals and define them. But trial of chance or trial of worth all games aspire to the condition of war for here that which is wagered swallows up game, player, all.

Suppose two men at cards with nothing to wager save their lives. Who has not heard such a tale? A turn of the card. The whole universe for such a player has labored clanking to this moment which will tell if he is to die at that man's hand or that man at his. What more certain validation of a man's worth could there be? This enhancement of the game to its ultimate state admits no argument concerning the notion of fate. The selection of one man over another is a preference absolute and irrevocable and it is a dull man indeed who could reckon so profound a decision without agency or significance either one. In such games as have for their stake the annihilation of the defeated the decisions are quite clear. This man holding this particular arrangement of cards in his hand is thereby removed from existence. This is the nature of war, whose stake is at once the game and the authority and the justification. Seen so, war is the truest form of divination. It is the testing of one's will and the will of another within that larger will which because it binds them is therefore forced to select. War is the ultimate game because war is at last a forcing of the unity of existence. War is god.

...

Might does not make right, said Irving. The man that wins in some combat is not vindicated morally.

[The judge replied,] Moral law is an invention of mankind for the disenfranchisement of the powerful in favor of the weak. Historical law subverts it at every turn.

-Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian

The scientific metanarrative

2009-01-22T13:28:00.008-05:00

A concise statement of the goals of the Enlightenment -- remarkably similar to the attitude of C.S. Lewis's antagonists in That Hideous Strength, and to Lewis's own critique of the Modern scientist-turned-shaman:

Whatever exists, [the judge] said. Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent.

He looked about at the dark forest in which they were bivouacked. He nodded toward the specimens he'd collected. These anonymous creatures, he said, may seem little or nothing in the world. Yet the smallest crumb can devour us. Any smallest thing beneath yon rock out of men's knowing. Only nature can enslave man and only when the existence of each last entity is routed out and made to stand naked before him will he be properly suzerain of the earth.

What's a suzerain?

A keeper. A keeper or overlord.

Why not say keeper then?

Because he is a special kind of keeper. A suzerain rules even where there are other rulers. His authority countermands local judgements.

Toadvine spat.

The judge placed his hands on the ground. He looked at his inquisitor. This is my claim, he said. And yet everywhere upon it are pockets of autonomous life. Autonomous. In order for it to be mine nothing must be permitted to occur upon it save by my dispensation.

Toadvine sat with his boots crossed before the fire. No man can acquaint himself with everything on this earth, he said.

The judge tilted his great head. The man who believes that the secrets of the world are forever hidden lives in mystery and fear. Superstition will drag him down. The rain will erode the deeds of his life. But that man who sets himself the task of singling out the thread of order from the tapestry will by the decision alone have taken charge of the world and it is only by such taking charge that he will effect a way to dictate the terms of his own fate.

-Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian

Valve Junior head mods

2009-01-21T11:16:00.013-05:00

These are the two Valve Junior heads that you hear on Rosetta's track (Temet Nosce). I run them in stereo, each through a 2x12 closed-back cabinet with one Vintage 30 and one G12H30 (made by Avatar, who I highly recommend). On (Temet Nosce), I played my mutant '72 Telecaster through a stereo delay pedal, with each amp/cab set up and mic'ed in a different room. We just panned the tracks left/right and that was it. The outro to Monument was also recorded with these heads, but in 4 takes with my Gibson Sonex-180.

The amps sound significantly better now than they did then, due to further modding. At that time, the only changed components were R1, R2, R6-9, and 10uF cathode bypass caps on the preamp triodes. That circuit was a huge improvement over the stock sound, but I think the current version is vastly superior.

The schematic below (based on stock schematics from SEWATT.com) shows all of my changes in red. You can find an excellent explanation of different components in S2 Amps' upgrade kit instructions. Whether or not you buy their kit (I did not, and doubt it is still available), the instructions are full of useful info. Loads more info can be found in the SEWATT Octal Mod file, even if you have no interest in adding another power tube. The complete repository of Valve Junior info is here.

My 390pf "bright switch" around R6 (switched via large toggle on the black amp, push/pull volume knob on the white amp) is very helpful for humbucking pickups. It's very "Marshall-y" sounding. I prefer it off with single coils. The 47pf bright cap on the volume pot only adds a tiny bit of shimmer or chime when playing clean. As you turn up the volume, the effect gets smaller, which is great because it's not needed once the amp starts to break up --- around 11 o'clock on these heads.

Both amps have Hammond 125ESE output transformers. These are far larger than needed for a nominally 5-watt amp, but the greater dynamics and bass extension are worth it, particularly since I most often play a baritone-tuned telecaster (my '72 Frankencaster) through the VJs.

Not noted on the schematic is that the rectifier on the high-voltage power tap is discrete 1n4007 diodes, in the stock amp. I replaced these with UF4007 diodes and the switching noise was reduced.

For recording purposes, the black amp has a second, smaller 3-way toggle that switches R15 from 10k to 5.6k or 1.5k, for a kind of presence or power amp voicing control. Most of the time it stays on 10k, to match the white amp.

Tubes: both of these amps use a JJ ECC803S (long plate) in the preamp, and a JJ EL84 in the power amp. I specifically asked for power tubes graded for maximum clean headroom.

Final notes: these amps are LOUD -- much louder than the 5-watt rating would suggest. I can't get anywhere near breakup at "bedroom" levels. If you're interested in controllable preamp gain, I don't recommend adding a master volume. I've tried it and it sounds crappy. The best solution is to use a tube overdrive pedal in front of the amp. The closest thing I've found to adding extra gain stages is the EH LPB2ube, which works in either stereo two-stage or ganged-mono four-stage. I use it in stereo to front end both amps, with a stereo volume pedal. Getting a small amount of distortion from each tube in the overall chain adds up and sounds incredible.

Snark = dumb

2009-01-16T09:44:00.004-05:00

Looks like I finally got my wish from three years ago.

To wit:
"Being cynical is FUN, and it gets you p***y, but that’s not the same thing as it being an actionable worldview that makes you smart and helps the world get fixed: Therefore, never get uppity while you wax neo-cynical - fatal error right there!
...
For those of you who say Obama is just-like-all-the-rest, some kind of shill for corporate interest: You’re the shill. What do you think all this hipster s**t is? You spend your money on being told what to think until the biggest media empire of all time pays people like Gavin [McInnes, founder of Vice Magazine] in treasure because they so perfectly control you. I don’t think that track record quite puts you in a position to judge shillage."

-Blog post on Street Boners and TV Carnage

"With the election of Barack Obama, Cynicism and Snark are officially passe.Translation: Humor and irreverence are out; earnestness and sincerity are in.

David Denby, The New Yorker film critic, has written a book decrying our old bad habits: 'Snark: It's Mean, It's Personal, and It's Ruining Our Conversation.' I couldn't agree more. Snark is cheap and bad for you. But then, so are hot dogs. I still want one now and then."

-Kathleen Parker, The Washington Post

Amp guts: complete Marshall TSL mods

2009-01-07T08:53:00.044-05:00

How to make the TSL-100 good at almost everything
(but especially sludge/doom)

This post is Google bait, so that someone else won't have to do all the searching I did in researching these mods. All of them require some experience soldering components on PCBs. They are presented in the order I did them.

Schematics here, with links throughout. Before doing these mods, please be sure you know about the voltage hazard inside the amp from the supply caps. The TSL (at least my 2005-made model) has bleeder resistors, so you can leave the amp unplugged for an hour and the caps will discharge themselves --- but ALWAYS CHECK WITH A VOLTMETER before diving in. A quick web search should yield whatever info you need here.

1. Get rid of the fizz
Cost: ~$1
Perceived sonic change: large and immediately obvious

These amps have a reputation for being "fizzy" or "buzzy" in the lead channel. You can easily and cheaply get rid of this without making the amp sound dull. This will NOT affect the sound of the crunch or clean channels. This is from a thread on MEF.

Use two silver mica capacitors to create a 12dB/octave low pass filter at around 7.5kHz, in the preamp. This not only kills fizz in the preamp, it saves some headroom in the power amp and the power tubes break up more smoothly when they saturate. The treble you do keep is more pleasing.

Put a 390pf cap across R1 on the main circuit board (the one the tube sockets are on), and a 47pf cap across the lead channel volume pot -- VR2 on the lead channel panel PCB. Note that the pots used have 4 terminals; one of these is part of the pot case, for grouding/shielding. Counting from the side toward the gain pot, use terminals 1 and 3. There should be only one pin (pin 2) between the two pins connected to the cap, and one pin on the side toward the treble pot. You will have to remove the chassis, tubes, aluminum top plate, and panel PCBs to do this mod --- that includes all the knobs and pot washers. You will want to put pieces of tape on each of the wires you disconnect, labeling what they connect to.

If you want to do the same thing to the crunch channel, just add another 47pf cap to the outer terminals of the volume pot (VR2) on that channel's panel PCB. I tried this and didn't like it, so I removed it -- the crunch channel's voicing seems ok to me.

EDIT 3/30/09: I have since changed the VR2 cap to a 68pf, to remove even more fizz and increase smoothness. I left the 390pf cap alone, since I know now that it affects all channels ever so slightly. So now the filter on the OD channel starts at a lower frequency, and maintains a 6dB/octave slope up until 7.5 kHz, where it steepens to 12dB/octave.

EDIT 4/4/09: Upped the VR2 cap to 100pf, which brings the corner frequency down to about 3.5 kHz. I don't recommend this unless you are a) using the MMOT (see #7 below) and b) you love midrange crunch. I used to keep the treble at 1 even with the 47pf cap, now it's at 4 or 5.

2. Change the tubes
Cost: $100ish for complete re-tube
Perceived sonic change: medium

This is inevitably a taste issue. If you want more raunch and a warmer sound, JJ tubes do nicely. This is what I use --- ECC83s preamp tubes, and E34L power tubes. Eurotubes offers a full re-tube kit for the TSL with a variety of options. I used the high-gain preamp tubes (I love gain). I have tried JJ's KT77 power tubes and found them to be muddy/farty and fizzy compared to JJ's E34L tubes when playing downtuned or sludgier material. There are applications where they are appropriate for adding roundness to the sound, but the bass is too loose for full-on gutteral roar. JJ's straight EL34 is a good option for a more traditional Marshall sound, more like the stock Svetlanas but better. The E34L type seems to improve both low-end extension (without mud) and headroom -- great for more rumble without fartiness.

EDIT 1/12/09: For E34Ls to sound best, they need to be biased on the high side, at about 90mV per side, or higher if you don't mind decreased life. 90mV per side is Marshall's spec for the amp, but most agree that this is high, and anything in the 80-90mV range is ok. I found that below 90, the E34Ls sounded fizzy and cold at lower volumes. There is good info on how to bias the TSL/DSL here.

EDIT 4/4/09: The high-biasing advice above really only applies if you replace the OT (see #7 below!). If you don't, most settings between 80-90mV per side will sound similar.

3. Clean up the rectifier
Cost: ~$40, or ~$1
Perceived sonic change: marginal/unpredictable

D3 through D10 (8 adjacent 1N4007 diodes) form the rectifier portion of the power supply. These are crappy, cheap diodes. Recently, using ultra-fast (low recovery time) diodes in guitar amp supplies has gotten really popular, with people saying they sound "less harsh" and "more tube-like." These claims may be spurious -- since ultra-fast diodes have nothing remotely like the occasionally desirable voltage sag in tube rectifiers -- but you can clean up hash and switching noise, and improve reliability, by replacing the diodes with faster ones. They may also improve "smoothness" somewhat.

There are two options: FREDs (Fast Recovery Epitaxial Diodes) or UF4007s. FREDs are the parts that are getting all the attention. They are huge, look like two-legged transistors, and have the lowest possible recovery time (40ns) at extremely high voltages and currents. They also cost $5-7 a piece, and you need 8 of them. The other option is just the ultra-fast version of the stock diodes -- UF4007s instead of 1N4007s. They cost about 25 cents a piece, with 75ns recovery time.

I went all-out with the FREDs, to see what it would do. They eliminated the supply switching noise, and as far as I could tell, they did change the tone slightly -- but not in the way I expected. Instead of being "smoother", I found the tone had more crunch and sounded more aggressive. Perceived headroom improved slightly. It was not objectionable, so I have kept this mod. The 1200V/16A FREDs I put in will probably be more reliable than the original diodes anyway.

To change the rectifier, replace D3 through D10 (8 diodes) on the main circuit board, but be absolutely sure to observe polarity -- connecting a diode backwards will pretty much blow up your amp. If using FREDs, cover any exposed metal with electrical tape so they don't accidentally short.

4. Add a choke
Cost: $35
Perceived sonic change: medium

A choke is an inductor that helps to filter ripple out of the power supply. Inductors in series act as a lowpass filter -- like in a crossover network -- so one that is large enough to filter out everything down to DC can smooth out the 60Hz ripple after the rectifier (it doesn't matter if you didn't understand that). They were often used in older amps back when large-value supply capacitors weren't as readily available. Now, large caps are easy to come by and cheaper than filter chokes, so they are used by themselves. However, with high inductance, chokes also seem to be able to store a certain amount of current, making that available to the power tubes in high-demand situations. I installed a Mercury Magnetics MC10H choke, and found that the amp became more responsive in high gain situations with a lot of low end in the sound --- palm-muting, octave pedal stoner riffs, etc. It had more attack in the bass and seemingly some more volume.

To install a choke, desolder R71 on the main circuit board. Mount the choke to the chassis next to the power transformer and run the wires through a small hole in the aluminum top plate. Solder them where R71 used to be.

5. Misc. cap value changes
Cost: less than $1
Perceived sonic change: medium

Comparing the TSL with its earlier cousin, the DSL, some find the DSL to have a slightly darker, more pleasing sound, though the amps are nearly identical. One reason for this may be the coupling cap C16 on the main circuit board. In the TSL, it's a 2.2nF ceramic, in the DSL, it's 4.7nF. I replaced C16 with a 4.7nF Orange Drop cap (nicer than ceramic anyway). It did seem to make the sound a little "warmer", but you may not notice a difference unless you're playing really detuned or you use 7- or 8-string guitars. You may also need to roll back the bass a little or it could get "tubby" at high volume.

EDIT 4/4/09: I recently noticed another component value difference between the DSL and TSL -- C18 on the main circuit board is designed to bleed treble frequencies to ground coming off the V1AA triode. Since this triode is not used by the clean channel, this area is crucial to distortion voicing. In the DSL, the cap is a 470pf cap, but in the TSL, it's only 100pf. This means that more treble passes through to the next stage in the TSL than in the DSL. I have replaced the 100pf ceramic cap C18 with a silver mica 470pf cap, and this is a bigger and better change than the coupling cap swap. The tonality change between stages makes breakup in the later preamp triodes smoother and more mid-centric, but without altering the clean channel.

Another cap to change is C9 (a 470pf ceramic cap) on the Lead channel circuit board -- this cap bleeds treble past the gain pot on the lead channel. It has no effect when the gain is maxed out (so I didn't notice it while playing with Rosetta), but makes the tone brighter when you turn down the gain. I happen to think it makes the channel sound "quacky". You can reduce the value to 100pf to move the corner frequency higher, or just clip it entirely. I clipped it and find the sound to be much more predictable at different gain points.

6. Fix undersized cap
Cost: less than $1
Perceived sonic change: none

C46, a 22pf/500V ceramic cap on the main circuit board, has been known to fail in the TSL. If it shorts, it can destroy all the power tubes and the output transformer. There is absolutely no reason a 16-cent part should be allowed to cause $300 worth of damage. I replaced this cap with another of the same value, but rated for 3150V.

7. Replace output transformer
Cost: $250
Perceived sonic change: substantial, but not necessarily better

The stock output transformer on the TSL is a Dagnall general purpose model, part #C3070, TXOP 00001. Mercury Magnetics makes a drop-in replacement -- the MAR100-OM -- that is bigger, more reliable, and is supposed to sound better. It's pricey. This mod requires no soldering and no drilling, just reconnecting the 7 wires to the right spade terminals on the new transformer. Mercury includes a diagram.

The new OT has wider bandwidth (read: deeper and higher), so it perceptibly improves clarity and attack. The lead channel seems fizzier at low volumes, but maybe a touch smoother at really high volumes. The "improvement" becomes more audible as you turn up the amp, which is to say, the breakup of the power section comes in more slowly, and there's more consistency from low to high volume. You may or may not consider this a good thing. There is quite a bit more bass available in the tone network, no doubt due to the extended low-end response of the MM. However, this can make the tone sound "tubby" at higher volumes with very low tunings.

I now realize that while this transformer is undoubtedly more reliable and cleaner than the stock model, it may be a little too polished (i.e. linear), lacking some of the "gravel" in the old one. The added bass also makes it initially sound less "tight" with high gain detuning. It's hard to say whether I became attached to the "imperfections" in the old OT, or had gotten so used to compensating for them that it's hard to make the MM work for me. The MM model may be suited to a more traditional style of playing, where the Dagnall seems to be (accidentally?) tighter and smoother for more extreme gain and tuning. I would say the Dagnall has a more (gasp!) "vintage" sound, and the MM is more modern. It may all be a matter of taste, and $250 is a lot to spend on something that subjective.

EDIT 4/2/09: I switched back and forth between the Dagnall and MMOT a couple of times, and found that even though the "tone" of the Dagnall was more pleasing, it was no substitute for the greater volume and bass response of the MMOT. The MM transformer opens up a lot of possibilities.

The real issue is that it was one of the later mods I did, so the earlier component and settings choices had been made unconsciously to accommodate or to flatter the Dagnall's limitations -- after I tweaked some of my existing mods (pulled even more treble out of the lead channel, most importantly) and started over from scratch with all the controls at 5, I found I could get what I was looking for. I can now hear a much bigger difference between different bias settings, and the tone network's behavior actually makes sense. I now have to pull the bass back a lot --- but doing so gets back a good deal of the "tightness" I missed from the old setup, and reveals some lower frequencies (below the center frequency of the bass control) that were never there at all before.

However, make no mistake: the MMOT will not get rid of the "fizz" in the amp, contrary to some other opinions I've seen, and will probably make it even more noticeable. There are advantages to it, but less fizz isn't one of them. To put it succinctly: if you think the amp is fizzy, and you hate that you have to turn it up too loud to get a good sound, don't get the MMOT. If you are modding out the fizz (or you like it as-is) and you wish the amp was louder and had more "oomph," then by all means go for it.

EDIT 4/6/09: On further reflection, I think that the undersizing of the Dagnall is mostly responsible for the "tonal qualities" I was hearing --- it is highly likely that its core was saturating when I pushed the amp hard. I say this because with the Dagnall in the amp, I would hit a wall at about 6 on the lead channel's volume knob, beyond which the amp would not get louder --- but would start to sound dramatically different, losing bass response and tightness. With the MMOT, that wall was removed. I had assumed before that I was hitting power tube distortion, but if that were the case, the limit onset would have changed with different bias settings (it didn't) and would not have changed with a new OT (it did).

Furthermore, the Dagnall OT would get very warm while playing loud, while the MMOT remains the same temperature as the surrounding chassis, even at extreme volume. I can only assume the extra heat from the Dagnall was output power that was lost due to inefficiency, core saturation, or both. This would also explain why there are so many stories of the Dagnall OT blowing up when people try to run the TSL on the clean channel with all the knobs at 10 (Plexi-style). The amp is in fact capable of much more volume and bass response than its stock transformer allows, at least from a perceptual (standing in front of the amp) standpoint.

This added power could be good or bad depending on your needs -- if the amp only sounds good at enormously high power levels which you could never use, then it's not an upgrade. For my purposes though, it's a great thing, although I never expected I would think an amp was "too loud" (yikes!). Eventually I may be able to eliminate my Marshall 3210 slave head and drive both of my 280W 4x12s into speaker breakup with only this amp. I couldn't do that before.

Digression: I have heard that Mesa apparently uses deliberately undersized OTs in their Rectifier heads (but NOT in their other models) to get an effect similar to what I describe above. Maybe that's more integral to the "Mesa tone" of "pleasing compression" than their much-vaunted tube rectifiers...? But then again, "cheap, small output transformers" doesn't make for good marketing copy, so who knows?

---

At this point, I wouldn't trade this amp for one 5 times as expensive. You can hear it on every track on Wake/Lift except (Temet Nosce), using all three channels. At the time of that recording, the amp had mods #1-4 above, with the 390pf/47pf version of #1. The other mods hadn't been done yet. I used some EQ on the Wake/Lift guitar tracks, mostly to compensate for the microphone's non-linearities, but also to get a sound closer to what I imagined in my head. The amp is closer to that sound now, by itself. It is a very good-sounding amp now, one of the best I've ever played through, as far as the qualities I prize most: smoothness, bass transient power that maintains tightness, bell-like cleans, enormous gain, and of course sheer volume. I doubt that --- short of a custom design --- I could find anything else that would be as satisfying, in stock form.

As far as comparisons, I suppose it has a Bogner-ish and/or hot-rodded JCM800 kind of character, but deeper and with a more Fender-y clean channel. It is very much a Marshall, though, maybe more than in its original form. The gain on the lead channel is outrageous but stays focused at high volumes (I have the gain at ten, volume at the edge of power tube & speaker breakup). Crunch is nicely versatile. The VPR circuit actually sounds decent now, too, and whether it's on or not, the amp sounds steadily better as you turn it up. I would characterize the sound as the "next logical step" if Marshall had continued producing amps with the philosophy and quality of the JCM800s, but with modern levels of gain.

Some thoughts:

+ The most effective mods are not necessarily the most expensive. I've tried to be as objective as possible here, balancing what I've heard (NOT properly/scientifically ABX tested, obviously) with what I know about electrical engineering and amp design.

+ No mod will improve an amp for everyone. Different tastes have different requirements. I don't see these changes as "fixing" the amp; instead it's more about keeping the things I liked and refining the things I didn't. Since so much of the tweaking of this amp involves controlling the treble: before you get out the soldering iron, put an EQ in the effects loop and see what you like and don't like in the voicing. Try an EQ in front of the amp, too.

+ Mercury Magnetics has quite a hype machine, but for the most part their products live up to it, and they are helpful to talk to. I would buy from them again.

+ As a taste issue, I also swapped the reverb tank on the amp. The stock one is very good, just not as dense as I'd like.

Holiday meandering

2009-01-01T01:59:00.009-05:00

Mission San Juan Bautista & Half Moon Bay
[Some scenes in Vertigo were shot at San Juan Bautista --- although the belltower in the film was artificially added and doesn't exist]

Top ten of 2008 in no particular order:
-Getting married
-Backpacking Patagonia
-Cormac McCarthy
-Australian tour
-Barack Obama
-Phillies breaking the curse
-The Dark Knight
-Building bikes and amps
-Stars of the Lid live
-Hanging out with my smarty-pants wife

Collage 2006

2008-12-01T19:38:00.007-05:00

Silver prints, collage, pencil / 48"x20"

Posting some old non-digital work, more to come. I am hereby re-titling this piece "Life Gainstage Visual" in honor of Gabriel Sim-Laramee, whose name I have spelled correctly and who will undoubtedly comment upon this post.

Two surfaces

2008-11-25T22:36:00.005-05:00

1. Long Island
2. Philadelphia

?

2008-11-14T11:06:00.005-05:00

Anchor States: The name of a 3-part musical suite by Stars of the Lid, forming side B of their LP Per Aspera Ad Astra. My favorite part of this suite is Part 3, which I find shockingly profound in its minimalism. It's the closest thing I've ever experienced to synaesthesia, in the sense that this is what the inside of my head sounds like. There is a beautiful contrast in Part 3 between organic, monotone synths (nostalgia, peace, memory) and shimmering, mechanical ambience (future, forboding), which resonates deeply with my often bifurcated and ambivalent emotional life.

: The word "hevel" (may be rendered "Abel"), used frequently in the book of Ecclesiastes. Translated variously as vanity, meaninglessness, vapor, emptiness, smoke, worthlessness, etc. It is a word that broadly yet pointedly captures the sensibility of our time, that is, of consumer culture -- the illusion of choice, false self-determination and identity formation, and the spiritualization of consumption. English has few remaining words as full of meaning as this, perhaps because it has been so brutalized by advertising.

I was born in 1983, the year that The Precession of Simulacra was published. I am male, white, and happily married. I live in Philadelphia, my home since 1991. I believe in God, though this makes me a pariah in many of my spheres of interaction (academia, art, Heavy Metal).

I am rarely paid for the work I consider most valuable. I have many useful skills but few credentials.

Morning again in America

2008-11-06T20:21:00.007-05:00

"It's not that I would have felt less love of country if voters had chosen John McCain. And this reaction I'm trying to describe isn't really about Obama's policies. I'll disagree with some of his decisions, I'll consider some of his public statements mere double talk and I'll criticize his questionable appointments. My job will be to hold him accountable, just like any president, and I intend to do my job.

"For me, the emotion of this moment has less to do with Obama than with the nation. Now I know how some people must have felt when they heard Ronald Reagan say 'it's morning again in America.' The new sunshine feels warm on my face."

-Eugene Robinson, Washington Post 11/6/08

A lot of people are talking about whether Barack Obama's election heralds an ideological shift from "center-right" leftward. I think that's missing the point. I'm deeply troubled by the angry and disappointed conservatives who are claiming that America is "finished" or is going to become "socialist", or that Democrats will "overreach" and get tossed. Maybe they feel left out, like they can't join the celebration of the "winners" because they're the "losers".

But I don't think that this joyful shock we are experiencing has anything to do with partisanship. I don't think people were crying and and lifting their hands to the sky two nights ago because the Democrats got the White House back. It's not even really about sticking it to George Bush, as much as he is now reviled in most circles, and I have detected no sense of snide self-satisfaction in most of the celebrating. It's something new. Our people are beginning to realize that anything really is possible, and that America is very symbolically putting its money where its mouth has been for 232 years. The meaning of "freedom" in this nation became broader and deeper and more real on Tuesday night.

Some of my more conservative friends have the idea that Obama is loved outside the U.S. because other nations want to make us weak and compliant, and believe that an Obama presidency would serve that end. These friends feel affronted and demoralized seeing spontaneous celebrations of Obama's election in other countries. Again, I think that's misunderstanding the motive. Just as much as I believe the overflowing joy here in the U.S. has nothing to do with partisanship, I believe that the celebrations abroad reflect not a perception of Barack Obama, but a perception of us. The world is excited because they now see that we, the people of the United States, are not so "rigid" and "bigoted" as they thought -- that maybe the sullen, arrogant, bullying superpower they knew had more to do with transient leadership than with the real soul and identity of our nation. Every man, woman, and child in this country, regardless of who they voted for, can own this new position of respect and global leadership. You and I and every citizen of our nation are now looked upon in awe, because we have again, at long last, demonstrated the promise of our heritage and led the world by example rather than by might. The victory belongs not to a person, a party, or a government, but to all the people of the United States, who once again have a reason to be proud.

Two videos of beauty pageant contestants

2008-09-30T12:05:00.001-04:00

CRINGE

A serious post related to this topic is forthcoming... don't judge me just yet.

Woes

2008-09-15T15:10:00.015-04:00

"Woe to you who add house to house and join field to field till no space is left and you live alone in the land. YHWH Sabaoth has declared in my hearing: 'Surely the great houses will become desolate, the fine mansions left without occupants...'

"Woe to those who rise early in the morning to run after their drinks, who stay up late at night till they are inflamed with wine. They have harps and lyres at their banquets, tambourines and flutes and wine, but they have no regard for the deeds of YHWH, no respect for the work of his hand....Therefore my people will go into exile for lack of understanding; their men of rank will die of hunger and their masses will be parched with thirst.

"Therefore the grave enlarges its appetite and opens its mouth without limit; into it will descend their nobles and masses with all their brawlers and revelers....Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks, who acquit the guilty for a bribe, but deny justice to the innocent."

-a portion of Isaiah, chapter 5

Insufferable sarcastic politicians

2008-09-04T15:55:00.007-04:00

From Politico:

"Ms. Palin needs to be reminded that Jesus Christ was a community organizer and Pontius Pilate was a governor."

I think if you had Rush Limbaugh read Sarah Palin's speech, it would have seemed completely in character. Which is to say, snide, semi-hypocritical, and content-less. Why hasn't the economy been mentioned one single time at the RNC?

The other thing I can't stand is the fact that if Chelsea Clinton had a child out of wedlock, conservatives would be all over Hillary. It would be damning evidence of Clinton moral bankruptcy, etc. etc. etc. But when this woman's 17-year-old daughter gets pregnant, somehow she's mom of the year? What? And her motherhood seems to be her major "qualification" here!

I guess being a "maverick" means that teen pregnancy is now AOK in the Party of Moral Rectitude and Family Values (this goes waaaay beyond "flip-flopping"). There, see how easy sarcasm is? Even an Alaskan could do it!

What a BUMMER! My head hurts.

EDIT 9/05: Lest you think this is all hot air, here's the FAQ.

If my wife registers to vote as a Democrat

2008-08-29T16:47:00.004-04:00

...does that mean we have to listen to NPR and spout centrist platitudes during breakfast every morning?

And for the record, I am so tired of these idiot PUMAs reinforcing stereotypes about "hysterical, irrational women". Now John McCain has given them cannon fodder by picking the hottest woman in politics as his veep. Imagine the visual juxtaposition at the VP debates. Joe Biden might as well show up in a wife-beater with a beer in his hand.

I'm also so sick of Clinton narcissism I could punch someone. But What Would Barack Do?

The characteristic of rambliness

2008-08-13T11:55:00.013-04:00

"The characteristic of meaning is that not everything has it."
-Jean Baudrillard, The Lucidity Pact

I've been thinking about this for about a year and a half, and I'm still not sure whether it's true. There are three possibilities: everything is meaningful, nothing is meaningful, or some things are meaningful. Baudrillard dismisses the first two. My worldview dismisses the second (disciples of Richard Dawkins can stop reading here). It's not a question of whether meaning is intrinsic or constructed (or both). The question is, when interpreting the basic events of our daily lives, which is more burdensome: a knowledge that Everything is meaningful, or the task of determining what is and isn't?

Take, for example, our obsession with self-knowledge:

This is the Wordle visualization of the content of this site for the last year. Is there meaning in the fact that the largest word is "people," seemingly incongruous because of my extreme introversion? If I knew that it was meaningful, but could have no grasp of that meaning, would that be worse? And that's only considering one word in the hierarchy...

This is where you call me a loser for thinking about this.

Ideal living is often summed up in trite phrases, like "live every day like it was your last," or, "look for the diamond in the rough," but these don't work in practice because they amount to veiled propositions about meaning. The propositions themselves usually remained obscured and unexamined, so we can never really accept or definitively reject the aphorisms. Of course, now that I've criticized the conventional wisdom, I'm supposed to offer a different spin on the same "truth." But I don't have one.

The reality is that everyone has a set of presuppositions about whether events and things are meaningful, and 90% of the time these presuppositions are not examined --- because to do so nearly guarantees unresolvable internal dissonance and paranoia.

I think this emergent self-examination is what happens to many academics somewhere between their 2nd and 4th years of graduate school. Like groundhogs, most of them see their shadow and run back into the hole (the hole is called "the tenure track"). It usually arises because of a question about whether their epic thesis on a clay pot from a 2nd century Welsh town is truly significant labor.

Yet we can't dismiss significance and meaning out of hand, because we all crave transcendence on some level. Everyone has reached momentary heights of blissful interconnectedness and holistic epiphany --- maybe while listening to a moving piece of music, or experiencing genuine intimacy with another person for the first time --- which tell us that either there is or ought to be Meaning beyond survival. Whatever it is, we want it.