...life as it is...

hiatus

2009-02-14T02:01:00.002+08:00

she is taking a sabbatical

she'll be back when she get back

another day wasted

2009-01-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

just like dat...wat a slacker i have become *ketuk diri sndrik*

woke up early for the 830am class where i have to lead the discussions
agak berlari2 anak jugak la takut lambat only to find dat half of the group is still missing in action
not dat i mind, at least i'm not the last one to arrive
cute preceptor..sekali tgk mcm Matt Damon, dua kali tgk mcm Brad Pitt zaman memuda
hoho cuci mata smbil berdiskusi penyakit paru2 hoho

decided to skip lectures n came back for another discussion session later in the afternoon
eat the leftover pasta for brunch while rerunning GG again
no new epi tis week, bummer!

plan to wash hair but then napping center in the brain nudge against desicion making part
short nap wouldn't hurt right?
huh, right! nap la sgt smpai 5 mins to 3 o clock br bukak mata n group discussion at 330pm!
looks like hair washing have to wait til tonite la

no new Grey's tonite *sigh*

making plans for the 'long' weekend
totally skipping tmr morning lectures, prolly go for a visit to Market Mall
Saturday got Marrybrown *halal yo!* picnic n bowling at Chinook
Sunday go tobagoning!!!
bile nk catch up study ni Dalilah oi?!

arrr! set sail on the Seventh Seas y'scallywag!

2009-01-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

pirate tongues totally rocks my socks off!
how arrr ya, matey? rums all 'round!!

no thanks to miss nodee n her mister bf n zek juger
now saye pon terikut2 main Mousehunt
adeih, parah la
jap, nk kna blow the horn for the hunt
15 mins wait time is up hehe

later peeps!

i curse the day you were born!

2009-01-27T15:16:00.003+08:00

oh i am so pissed off!!
damn you Youtube for suspending all the accounts dat had graciously supplied me with the great Grey's scenes
now all my fav scenes dh kna delete!!! *cries*
stupid infringement rules
i still buy the DVDs ok? original one lagik!
anyone can teach me how i can make short clips from the avi files?

eiiii! Rogers Wireless tak abes2 nk suck ppls money tau!
seb baik x kna MI tgk this month punyer bill
CAD70! My God!
usually about CAD4o per month since tak guna sgt pon, just convenient if you have one
ni seme sbb main sms mase kat States aritu la ni
they charge 60 cent per sms?sms to Calgary number jugak pdhal
bloody expensive!!! tau la roaming tp aritu mase blk mesia roaming jugak, siap calling2 lagi tp x de smpai 70 dolar bill aku!
dh la i check nk upgrade to iPhone smpai CAD400
kalu daftar baru CAD199 jork
diskriminasi okehhhh!!
dh la tak leh break 3 yrs punye contract, nnt kna denda lagi CAD200
mereka2 di mesia, bersyukur la dgn Celcom n Maxis n Digi etc
guna hp kat sini sucks giler!!

moments of heaven on earth

2009-01-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

OH.MY.FARKING.GOD!
BEST Grey's episode ever!!!!

no doubt i cried buckets watching this ending

one shouldn't feel for a serial killer who slits his knife thru 5 young woman throat just because he wanted to know how it would felt
but Meredith being all dark and twisty inside decide dat even such person should deserve a little degree of compassion
dat's why she show up at his execution
it's touching to see how scare he was when death is imminent
how he wanted to see at least one face dat isn't filled with hate n rage for wat he had done

and miracle indeed for the little boy
and Bailey, how she crossed the line for this one patient
makes you question yourself, how far would you go for your patient?

the look in Christina face when Derek came knocking at her door telling her Meredith needs her
the moment she realise dat how silly and how long the fight has been dragging on
who r they kidding themselves?
Derek is right, they both need each other to freak about something happening in their life
for her, dating McArmy
so she set aside her pride and be there for her bestfriend when she needed her the most
just what a true friend would do

as for Mcdreamy, i have nothing but admiration and totally CINTA for you!
he didn't get why Meredith went to William execution, heck he loathes William's ilk but he showed up outside of prison for her
and when he knows he can't be everything for her
he went to get the one person Meredith need, her best friend
now, dat's a keeper

reminds me of one person who did the same thing for me once
to this person, just know i really appreciate wat u did
altough i rarely shows such appreciation of those little things you ever shows me

i leave you with my fav quote from the episode

Meredith: "I know it feels wrong, it feels wrong on so many levels I can't even count them but there are no case in any medical books that tells you how to deal with this kind of situation"

positive reinforcement

2009-01-12T13:25:00.004+08:00

i had a good feeling when i finally hand in the papers
well maybe a bit guilty for using only one third of the allocated time
but the prev experience hold me back
i mean, anything could happen rite?

so, i keyed in the lock
the one sheet i dread n anxious to see wat's printed on it
one glance and dat relieved smile slowly creep up my tiny mouth
spreading it into a huge grin of self satisfaction
heart leap in joy, tears brimming the eye
a small victory, a huge meaning

i finally think i can do this
i finally believe i can make it through

you know you love me

2009-01-09T14:49:00.002+08:00

finally finished my Gossip Girl marathon
up till the latest episode yo!
now i'm hooked
seronot jugak tgk upper east side berbitching2 ini

pity them
they have all the money in the world
tp hidup tunggang langgang giler
oh well, u can't have everything in life kan?

till then, XOXO

serves you right

2009-01-08T14:35:00.000+08:00

you have no one else to blame n be mad at except yourself
i didn't rob you of your chances, you yourself gladly took it all away

i hate you for making me feel guilty when i really shouldn't
i hate it you know me so well, you just know which button to push

you have no right to dictate how i should live my life
you denied yourself dat right when you choose to walk out of my life

you know it yourself
but you couldn't help feeling the way you feel right now, dun u?
consider it the price u have to pay
n if it makes u feel better, know dat i pay a higher price
i always do, still do...

reach out the hand

2009-01-06T16:37:00.001+08:00

first day of school

2009-01-05T10:50:00.004+08:00

and i'm already ponteng lalalala
so much for starting anew n putting extra effort considering tis next 2 course not a strong suit for me
but heck, it's just introductory lectures n the sucky ADT exam is now online for a month
how cool is dat? online exam dat's open for a month, with no invigilating wat so ever...Dr Wiki la pe lagi haha

so anyhu...am still throwing away precious time watching the upper east side of Manhattan berbitchy2 sesame sendrik

tetiba saya rase nk ade bucket list of my own
mcm menarik kan?
list of things i wanna do before i die
since u dun know when u actually gonna die, u be more looking forward to complete each dream/task/fill in ur blanks
just so when u look back, u actually do things u wanna do....sort of reminder

first one on the list - new year countdown at NY Times Square being kissed silly by the love of my life. Winter in NY can be as unforgiving as Canada so must have him warm me up plus i need protection from the drunken n high crushing seas of human *note to self - ni nk kna ade HIM dulu br boley achieve*

second one would be bungee jumping!
the higher the better <-- adrenaline junkie
more on the list would be more adrenaline pumping activities - white river rafting, yg jump from the plane tu org panggil ape ek? yes...skydiving~
oh saya sgt teruja with the ideas!

before i forgot, europe tour is definitely on the list

and yes, i wanna work for Doctors Without Borders if i get the chance

wat else? ran out of idea
more like mls nk pikir dh sbb nk smbg tgk XOXO haha
but keep tuned in, the list will be updated from time to time
mayb when i got the time i'll put it up on the side bar

oh yeah, i won't be doing it in dat order...when the opportunity arise, i'll go for it =)

the extra day

2009-01-04T12:47:00.001+08:00

i should really
1. be doing my laundry
2. unpack my bags n clean up my room
3. prepare for the new semester dat starts tomorow -ala, dh nk skolah blk ker? -

instead i am
1. curling up in my duvet *kasi can la weih, lps rindu 2 minggu tak tido with my pinky hearts*
2. trying to finish up Eclipse, the 3rd installation of Twilight saga, quarter more to go since i started yesterday on the plane enroute back
3. while running the Gossip Girl back to back from the very first episode of the first season to the current episode of the current season...not much, just about almost to 40 episode with 1 hr per episode, there goes 40 hrs of my life membazir ke jln kelaghaan...bet the devils are njoying themselves to the max knowing this

time to go home...

2009-01-03T12:17:00.000+08:00

never thought i would missed seeing the white blanket of snow
after 2 weeks of sun n occasional rain n freedom from winter wear bundle
it almost welcoming to be back to the cold, unforgiving Calgary
maybe tis place is becoming more of a home now

but yeah, i miss my pinky hearts duvet
n Missy Moo n Belle
they must be excited to add Baby Sham as their partner in crime

but a break from all things familiar n routine is always good
an escapism
gives you the chance to miss things you've taken for granted, doesn't?

swipe away

2009-01-02T11:57:00.000+08:00

oh i so wanted dat BOSE dock for my iTouch
n dat half price FCUK sweater
n another 2 or 3 Coach bag
n dat lovely Marciano dress dat is 60% off
n dat bright red Banana Rebuplic peacoat in my size dat's half price for the day
wat a pity dat CK jeans doesn't come in my size or the USD20 Guess jeans

everything is soooooooo fucking cheap!!!!
n soooo many choices i go very rambang mata just thinking about it
oh why la u have to max out today my darling?
so spoil the mood to go explore the whole mall
bleeding heart weyh kalu jumpe brg berkenan di hati tp x leh beli sbb x de immediate available funds

i am so coming back to settle tis unfinished business
no need to be Vegas
any other US city with a huge outlet mall would be ok
n let's hope by dat time CAD stronger than USD
totally gonna make sure my magic card is fully functional with lots n lots of credits
anyone wanna join?

the rebel in me

2009-01-01T11:31:00.001+08:00

who's to say when the new year starts eh?
live according to ur rules...much much better!

many takes it a good time to start fresh
resolutions, achievements to go after, disappointments to leave behind
perhaps perhaps perhaps

as for me, last year promise was gloriously broken
and stay broken, not even bothering to even try fixing it
wat a sore loser, can't even keep my own promise to meself
regret? i have learn trying not to have them

wat's next in store?
i have no idea nor expectation
just going with the flow
que sera sera wat ever will be will be lah

oh, to 2009 may i propose a toast of welcome
*glass clicking*

it got me thinking

2008-12-16T14:18:00.000+08:00

newton's third law stated that to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction

org tua cakap mula2 benci, lama2 suka
if dat's the case
say we apply the above law
does it mean dat mula2 suka will change to lama2 benci?
hurmnnnn...

so like when u like a guy, u also dun like him?
in the same amount u like him?
sungguh totaly tidak logika kan?

excuse moi
dalilah mabuk selepas habes 200++ slides on sports medicine

never let go

2008-12-15T19:42:00.001+08:00

not so hardcore

2008-12-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

this came in my email inbox a couple of days ago

so not helping me saving money for the upcoming trip *slaps forehead*

so the plan was to go today
i even manage to lure Kak Ana n Nisa to abandon study mission to go for a lil relaxing time in TD square
at first the small, insignificant detail dat today's temp gonna be -30 degrees plus another -10 degrees with windchill cannot deter us from the shops
very de rugi if dun go rite?
30% on everything plus another 10% on SPC
n i also had my hands on few extra La Senza coupons expiring tmr

but then, oh soooo mls to bundle up
plus i must be out of my mind to subject meself being turned into icicle while waiting for the bus and trains which are really really not reliable in this kinda weather

so, in the end here i am
caving inside my pinky hearts duvet
staring at the obscenely not so interesting Mr P
have to wrapping up derm, ortho is on the standstill yet
exam is in 4 days
then Vegas! n Cali!
oh sin city! n sun! n beaches!
FUN!

living out of lugagge

2008-12-12T15:48:00.000+08:00

it's almost 4 pm now n i just barely started studying today
bad bad progress *geleng geleng kepala*

it's mini snow storming outside
-4 degrees now...not dat bad but i must be out of my mind if i were to set foot outside the door
heck, i dun even to get out the comfy confines of my duvet
let alone my room n my house
hibernating is wat i do best at times like this heheh
lets hope i can add another kilo or two to the staggering unmoving dial of bathroom scale at 40kg in these few days, shall we?

minus 7 days from the warm equatorial sun of the States
ouh, can't wait to be out of bundles of wintery wears
so, just a peek of the upcoming winter break plans

am leaving cold Calgaria on Dec 20th to Viva Las Vegas babeh!
am so gonna go watch Cirque Du Soleil
am still deciding whether to watch Mystere or KA
need to book the tickets fast! n it's so gonna cost a bomb!

will be driving to the magnificent Grand Canyon for a day
then off to San Diego for few days
the up to Anaheim to met up Mickey and the gang
wheeee~ am going to Disneyland!!!

move along to Hollywood and Universal Studios n downtown LA
i am so gonna take a drive along the Beverly Hills roads *perasan celebrities sebentar*
it would be perfect if we are renting the convertibles
ouh, gambar with the big Hollywood sign is a BIG must!

then off to San Francisco
mau tour the jln bukit2 iteww n the famous Golden Gate Bridge
Alcatraz jugak n Pier 39

back to Vegas again on the New Year
mayb go to Madame Tussaud's and not forgetting shopping la
will be leaving all the heat on Jan 3rd
waaaa!!! x nk blk!!! Calgary sejuk!!!

for now it's just me n Jeremy
but who knows, last min addition is totally welcome!
omg, it's gonna be so much FUN!!!
can't wait!!!!

this is not how to hit on girls on Facebook

2008-12-11T13:19:00.002+08:00

pay attention guys
while Facebook/Friendster/Hi5/Myspace n its sepupu-sepapat out there can be use as social tool n platform to mayb finding ur true soul mate/love of ur life/summer fling/just friend/next victim/-feel free to put wateva why u use this services-
tis is not how to do it

dude, i put all of the things u ask me on my info box
i did not spend an hour to build the profile to have me repeating it all in ur face
n if u wondering where the hell Calgary AB is, i trust u know how to utilize Google
i mean you r on Facebook, Google or Yahoo is the most basic of internet, no?

even if u wanna make small talk, try not to make urself look stupid or ignorant
it makes me feel u undermine my intellectuality n dat's not gonna take u far, trust me

dun flood my pic comment box with all the details of u getting to know me
there's the wall or if u value privacy, u would use the messaging option

if u really wanna be friends n get to know a girl
have a decency to say hi n introduce yourself upfront
i mean, some of u dun even have the ball to put up ur own picture
for all i care, u r a stranger, potentially a serial killer
ok, maybe that over the top but there r all sorts of ppl on the net n i have had fair share of these ppl
so if u really want me to take u seriusly
dun do wateva this guy is doing
seriusly...

seriusly...

stop putting thoughts in my mind

2008-12-10T22:11:00.002+08:00

woke up early for derm group discussion
finished 2 hrs ahead of schedule wohooo!

came home n had a bowl of macaroni chicken n seafood soup
found streaming movie of Twilight in not so shabby wonders of technicolor

hungry again after dreaming of Edward
had a plate of spaghetti bolognese drowning in cheddar n mozarella
while listening to House MD teaching on eclampsia

finally get to the business of rheumatology
10 slides into brittle bone n my mind is permanently stuck on thought of filet o fish

wat i wouldn't do to fulfill the cravings

now i can sleep opsss study peacefully

and the devil whispers

2008-12-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

Edie: "I should never shop for lingerie when I'm horny. It's like buying groceries when you're hungry."

yes *nods nods*
all this is nafsu semata2
sedar la wahai diri!!!

the voice is saying : is not u want it, u NEED it
GET IT~

need my ass!
stop tempting me!

give in or fight?
pdhal dh tahu kalah jua akhirnyer

sharpen up those knives

2008-12-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

wat i wouldn't kill to be home for korban this yr
daging goreng, roti bontot cecah gulai daging, sup gearbox, singang daging, kerabu perut, sup tulang, daging bakar, nyicoh perut, paru goreng *drools*
i'm sorry lembu lembu sekalian, u r just food, meant to be eaten

HAPPY EID ADHA
to all who celebrate it

p/s: asal seme org msk nasi dagang ah for raya haji ni?
saya mau jugak!!!
mau mkn saja, x nk buat
nges nges nges

my not so exciting life

2008-12-07T00:37:00.001+08:00

woke up to a raining cotton balls
it was just last nite complaining of where's the snow n the cold?
it's already Dec for heaven sake
n looks whose listening n shove it in our face this morning?
*padan muka*

cook nasi lemak
to ease the craving
no more random mention of nasi lemak on FB ah Bram

tried to study
finish a couple of lectures
it's amazing how u can stay up n immerse urself in 500 pages of vampire love story in one day but it took u 10 or less slides of lecture n u as good as gone into the dreamland
shot me for not doing wat the taxpayers money are paying me to do

spend the nite before watching random movie trailers on utube
feels like doing a movie marathon of all the romantic comedy collections - 27 Dresses, Made of Honor, Definitely Maybe, yada yada
ended up watching Perfume: The Story of A Murderer

tummy doesn't feel so good today
bo-hoo
angin berkoyan-koyan :(

manage to goreng-ing HPOP worksheet, complete with all the condiments bagai
uh, i hate EBMs!

it's already school tmr
blergh!!

i am an angel

2008-12-06T01:31:00.001+08:00

*note: do listen to the song Santa Baby to get the feeling of gedikness needed to menghayati this post muah muah*

my dearest Santa,
i have been an awfully very good girl this year *wink wink*
so mayb when u put my name down on dat forever long list of urs, consider these to put under my tree on the morning of 25th

1. BOSE dock for my iTouch

2. DSLR kit...am still undecided which one i want but i put my trust u will choose the very best for me *puppy eyes* n when i said kit, it means the whole thing with a couple of awesome lenses and filters etc, u get wat i mean tq.....*big kiss on the cheek*

3. Silver Volvo like this

4. or this Mini Cooper dat i always dreaming of

5. the Twilight Saga in hardcover would be nice too

6. then again, i still haven't got the 1st and 4th season of Grey's *hint hint*

7. how about a pink PSP or Nitendo DS or pink PSP and the whole Wii bundle including Guitar Hero n Wii Fit n the Dance Mat too!

8. i also need this to stash away all my pics n torrents n porn *opssss*

9. a really BIG, FAT bank account since i am going to US this winter break

10. Edward Cullen!!!!! *pengsan*

not dat bad huh?
only 10 small little items
*grins*
n i promise i'll thank you in every ways possible
*wink wink*

stay inside

2008-12-05T21:30:00.000+08:00

i've been staying away from wat's happening in hometown
it gets tiring to read the same old news day after day
the only updet i get is from the infrequent phone calls to home
-shoot me for not keeping in good touch with my own family but the time difference can be a big hurdle *alasan!*-
or if Kak Ana ask if i know this n that dat is happening in beloved M'sia

dat's why i was late to find out about Norman Hakim ruckus or the fact that Kuala Terengganu is having a by election soon because the guy is dead while playing badminton or there's another landslide at Bukit Antarabangsa and government immediately calling off all hillside projects -yeah, like after numerous landslides that claimed so many lives already- or it's raining season now and it's already claiming its first victim

growing up i always love the rain season eventough i abhor rain
i was allowed to play air boh but under strict supervision of my family
mind u, i was living with my grandparents and i'm the only grandchild living with them so i get to hog all the attentions
back then, it's still gonna be flooding every monsoon season
after few years they decided to dig a water channel and no more floods *cries*
my uncle would made me a boat out of pelepah nyior and tied to a string
and i would glee in hapiness discovering the big fat earthworm crawling under the rocks
and the special diet of ubi kayu rebus with kelapa parut or pulut with ikan rebus goreng and kelapa parut *drools*
due to close proximity to the beach, the roaring waves somehow become my lullaby and soothes me to sleep
it is a good memory, indeed