Very Stupid Man Honored To Cup President's Balls

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18355687.post-1156617159682480412006-08-26T06:09:00.000-12:002006-08-26T10:47:14.386-12:00Very Stupid Man Honored To Cup President's BallsRockey Vaccarella lost his home to the devestating flooding and 100+ mile-per-hour winds of Hurricane Katrina. So Rockey, 41, of St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana took his big ol' "RV o' Freedom" and drove that motherfucker all the way to Washington, D.C., demanding an audience with the President of the United States. And in an interesting twist, he actually accomplished this. <div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 217px; height: 328px;" src="http://bornbackwards.com/news/BBW%20-%20Rockey%20V.jpg" /> Rockey Vaccarella, fresh out of the fucking awesome White House gift-shop of improbability. </div> So what does a man who makes such a journey from Louisiana to D.C. at the one-year anniversary of such a tragedy say to the man in charge who did such an awful job of handling it? <blockquote>PRES. BUSH: I just had coffee with Rockey Vaccarella, St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana. He caught my attention because he decided to come up to Washington, D.C. and make it clear to me and others here in the government that there's people down there still hurting in south Louisiana, and along the Gulf Coast. And Rock is a plain-spoken guy. He's the kind of fellow I feel comfortable talking to. I told him that I understand that there's people down there that still need help. And I told him the federal government will work with the state and local authorities to get the help to them as quickly as possible.(some bullshit babbling about bureaucracy and how it slows down the ability to give money to people who need it after surviving a fucking insane natural disaster) Now, I know we're coming up on the first-year anniversary of Katrina, and it's a time to remember, a time to particularly remember the suffering that people went through. Rockey lost everything. He lost -- he and his family had every possession they had wiped out. And it's a time to remember that people suffer, and it's a time to recommit ourselves to helping them. But I also want people to remember that a one-year anniversary is just that, because it's going to require a long time to help these people rebuild. And thank you for your spirit. ROCKEY VACCARELLA: Thank you, Mr. President. PRES. BUSH: It's an amazing country, isn't it, where --(I guess Rockey cut off the President in mid-sentence to deliver his gem of a message) ROCKEY VACCARELLA: It is. You know, it's really amazing when a small man like me from St. Bernard Parish can meet the President of the United States. The President is a people person. I knew that from the beginning. I was confident that I could meet President Bush. And my mission was very simple. I wanted to thank President Bush for the millions of FEMA trailers that were brought down there. They gave roofs over people's head. People had the chance to have baths, air condition. We have TV, we have toiletry, we have things that are necessities that we can live upon. But now, I wanted to remind the President that the job's not done, and he knows that. And I just don't want the government and President Bush to forget about us. And I just wish the President could have another term in Washington. You know, I wish you had another four years, man. If we had this President for another four years, I think we'd be great. But we're going to move on. Mr. President, it's been my pleasure. PRES. BUSH: You're a good man, Rockey. Thank you all.</blockquote> <div style="text-align: left;">What the fuck. What. The. Fuck. You drive to Washington all the way from Louisiana and actually get to talk to the President...and you tell him what a great job he's been doing? That's so fucking insane that it makes possible to completely ignore Bush's abominable explanation of what "one-year anniversary" means, and Vaccarella's list of necessities that the FEMA trailers provided for him to "live upon." Obviously, Rockey Vaccarella is one of the dumbest men in America. Although I understand this meeting was probably conceived as an excellent publicity stunt, I'm afraid it might backfire in the end. Honestly, I think that what we really needed to see in order to come together as a country on a single issue -- that issue of course being, "Maybe Bush is a know-nothing dumbass after all" -- is a man telling the President, who has held a steady 30% approval rating since he ignored the natural disaster that demolished this man's home and possessions a year ago, that he deserves another four years in office. I feel more American already. Kind of. </div> <div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://bornbackwards.com/news/BBW%20-%20Rocky%20and%20Bushwinkle.jpg" /> PRES. BUSH: Hey Rock, I gotta take a piss, you mind holdin' my dick for me? ROCKEY VACCARELLA: Sure thing Mr. B!! </div>Philhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12852608118714715479noreply@blogger.com