McParty

Swine!

2009-07-15T12:45:00.002+01:00

Not having the best of days today... 2 Nose bleeds and a cold seems to ail me. I feel like death.
Could i have swine flu?

Discuss

The Coolest Technology in the World!

2009-07-14T18:22:00.004+01:00

Better than anything i have ever seen before and probably the most useful use of Cloud technology i have come across. I can't wait to see how this develops:

Humiliation and Death

2009-07-10T12:28:00.002+01:00

Humiliation is the key to end stupidity I have decided. Whilst I am not the brightest spark in the world, I consider myself less dim than others. The chain e-mails telling you to make a wish and forward on the e-mail "Otherwise you will die in 7 days" is ridiculous.
There were 509,090 deaths registered in England and Wales in 2008 - Which averages 1394.77 a day
I am 100% convinced that none of the death certificates said that the cause of death was "He didn't forward an e-mail and as a result he dropped dead".

Now, if you really want to know when you are going to die check out www.deathclock.com ;)

Incidently: Friday, March 7, 2070 is my supposed death date.

More Perl - Reverse Lookup

2009-07-07T18:53:00.003+01:00

All domain names translate to an IP address generally speaking, however if you have an IP address and wish to know who it belongs to... Do a reverse IP lookup.

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
use strict;
use Socket;

my $host =$ARGV[0]
or die "useage: $0 ipaddr";

print reverse_lookup($host)
|| "unknown", "\n";

##################################
sub reverse_lookup {
##################################
my ($ip) = inet_aton $_[0];

return (
gethostbyaddr(
$ip, AF_INET
)
)[0];
}

Perl - MD5 hex

2009-07-07T13:22:00.003+01:00

I have recently being playing around with Perl in order to automate a lot of work. I am a n00b at Perl but am coming on in leaps and bounds. I can read the perl syntax and kinda figure out what the script is doing, however i am not the greatest at writing it.

I was rather impressed to have done the following which turns the word "password" in to a hexidecimal MD5 hash.
Particularly useful when setting up new users on the internal systems at work.

I have managed to incorporate this into a larger script which enables me to pass a varible in to the stored procedure in Windows SQL Server as an MD5 hash. This has saved me an arse!

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
use strict;
use Digest::MD5 qw(md5_hex);
my $md5_data = "password";
my $md5_hash = md5_hex( $md5_data );
print "$md5_hash\n";

So when i run:

>$ ./hash.pl

it returns:

>$ 0f16cff442c47bbbf3b4715d7b39b3d2

ADSL Speed Problems

2009-07-03T07:31:00.002+01:00

Bt Speed test... Something aint right, it just hangs.

URGENT! E-mail forwarders take head....

2009-07-02T17:24:00.002+01:00

Just received this email... People stop sending these around. Just delete these as they are just spam and a load of nonesense.

Stay protected by keeping your anti virus and your firewall up to date and worry no longer about these tedious e-mails... Please... for my sanity - Stop forwarding them!

THIS IS NO JOKE

IF A PERSON CALLED SIMON ASHTON (SIMON25@HOTMAIL.CO.UK ) CONTACTS YOU THROUGH EMAIL DON'T OPEN THE MESSAGE. DELETE IT BECAUSE HE IS A HACKER!!

TELL EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ON YOUR LIST ADDS HIM THEN YOU WILL GET HIM ON YOUR LIST. HE WILL FIGURE OUT YOUR ID COMPUTER ADDRESS, SO COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE EVEN IF YOU DONT CARE FOR THEM AND FAST BECAUSE IF HE HACKS THEIR EMAIL HE HACKS YOUR MAIL TOO!!!!!...

Anyone-using Internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on. This information arrived this morning, Direct from both Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet. You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail titled 'Mail Server Report'

If you open either file, a message will appear on your screen saying: 'It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful.'

Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC,
And the person who sent it to you will gain access to your name, e-mail and password.

This is a new virus which started to circulate on Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the anti virus software's are not capable of destroying it .

The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself 'life owner'.

PLEASE SEND A COPY OF THIS E-MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, And ask them to
PASS IT ON IMMEDIATELY!

Happy Easter

2009-04-08T12:57:00.003+01:00

An early note to you all.

I have scouted Google for more information on easter and found out a little more information from serveral sites... I have drafted my findings below... [in order not to breach any copyright infringements/smacked bottoms]

The Spring Solstice AKA Vernal Equinox signals the point of when day and night are of the same length (12 hours each). 'Equinox' means equal night and 'Vernal' comes from the Latin word for 'bloom'. In the northern hemisphere the Vernal Equinox marks the end of Winter and the beginning of Spring. Light and dark are in balance now.

This equinox is also known as Ostara or Eostre - and is celebrated as a festival of new growth, renewal and the return of longer days.

Ostara, also known as - Oestara, Eostra, Eostre was the pagan goddess of fertility/spring, and the Christian festival of Easter derives its name from her... Interesting huh??

Easter is actually calculated by the moon, and occurs on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the equinox. This is why it is on a different day each year.

This is the time when the young Sun God now celebrates a sacred marriage with the young Maiden Goddess. The Pagans celebrate the return of the Spring Goddess from her sleep.

The egg symbolised Eostre's wholeness and fertility - the female hormone oestrogen is named after her - and is offered at this equinox as a symbol of fertility and new life. The golden yolk represents the Sun God, its white shell is seen as the White Goddess.

Follow me...

2009-04-01T15:28:00.006+01:00

GPS tracking powered by InstaMapper.com

An Interesting Article

2009-03-30T16:08:00.002+01:00

How to install Linux on a dead badger

Tunisian Adventures

2009-03-23T06:32:00.003Z

It was only a week ago today when i first woke up in Tunisia. Philippa and i stayed in a Hotel just a few miles outside of Sousse on the edge of Port El Kantoui. The Sun was out so decided to take a trip to the beach after our first breakfast of sausages, salami, beans and doughnuts. On th way down to the beach we came across some giant African ants marching across the road. They were rather scarey, I have never seen a bigger, blacker ant ever.

Treading carefully over the creepy crawlies we found the beach and was immediately approached by a very friendly Tunisian who had some thing to sell. We politely declined his offer of going on a camel ride and informed him that we are happily just taking a stroll and exploring our surroundings. After a short walk on the beach we headed back to the hotel to try and decide what we were going to do for the forthcoming week. And this is what we did...

Tuesday morning we went ofn a free tour of a carpet factory where i purchased a payer matt. There we go to sit with the Tunisian ladies who were hand making carpets and rugs. This was followed by a visit to a leather factory and shop. I had a new leather jacket tailored for me - A replacement fo the one that was lost. However this came to half the price... Bonus!

Upon returning to the hotel, we went back to the beach to relax and enjoy my birthday some more before dinner. It was also about dinner time when we booked a 2 day tour of Tunisia so we arranged an early morning wake up call (5.30am) and went out for a meal to celebrate the special occasion before retiring for an early night (a little drunk).

Sods law would have predicted me waking up before the wake up call. And this was the case.
We set off watching the sun rise over the ocean. The tour guide who looked like slime informed us there were a few more pickups to be made from other hotels then we set off on our way.

There was thousands upon thousands of olive groves and after the first 2 hours i was bored with them. Then the tour guide started talking. After about 2 hours of travel we came to our first scheduled stop in a place called El Jem. Here we had a guided tour of he Colosseum used in the film Gladiator (the one they digitally remastered) Here we went in to the lions pits and dungeons. It was truly breath taking. Sadly a lot of it has been destroyed over the thousands of years it has been stood there. However, i couldn't begin to imagine how many must have died in its walls.

Next stop was interesting, we stopped at a "Service Station" for a rest and just outside there was a sheep hanging from a tree with it's throat cut. Saying that though, there was also a severed cows head hanging in a door way of a butchers. At one butchers i recall seeing a severed cows head and a live cow next to it tied up at the butchers. According to our tour guide this was to show how fresh the meat is when buying it. Strangely disturbing!

We had now entered the Lime Stone desert which was a very rocky and very hilly. The tour guide then told us more about th history of Tunisia and how it's native inhabitants were the Burma people and they were pushed south by the French and they built there homes into the hillsides [called troglodytes]. And we were going to be invited in to a home. The home was very simple and without electricity. An old woman ground at a mill grinding wheat to make bread whilst the other lady showed off her woven pictures. It was rather fascinating that people live in such a way which is self reliant. Their beds were just thin home made mattresses. Their homes were just caves.

The next stop was for lunch at another troglodyte, a rather familiar one. The Hotel Sidi Driss,
The hotel served as the home of Luke Skywalker on the planet Tatooine in the Star Wars films. In here we were served with a "Meat" cous cous and some other strange local cuisine. Then went snap happy with the camera. This photo is taken on wikipedia as Philippa has the camera and i haven't yet had chance to steal it off her yet.

Reluctantly, we had to leave. We were now heading to a place called Douz "The Gateway to the Sahara". The journey took us past lots of people selling oil/petrol at the side of the raod purchased in Libya at a cheap price and sold for a cheaper price than the government set for fuel. Highly illegal but the police turn a blind eye on this trade in he south. Only 50% of the population is in employment.On this stretch of the journey, the Lime stone desert took us to the edge of the Sahara and plant life got thin and sand danced across the road as if it was late to join the rest of the desert.
Upon arrival, we dressed up in traditional ware and was escorted to some camels and spent an hour riding in to the desert. The wind was cold and the sun was getting low but it looked more silver than it did golden but it was all we could see all the way to the horizon.

That night we stayed in a rather poky hotel but we didn't care as we were too tired. The next morning we awoke and got excited about breakfast. We helped ourselves to eggs, doughnuts, and some yorkshire pudding type savouries then was pushed back on the bus to embark of the journey to the Salt Lakes of the desert. This was strange, with the reflection of the sky on the water, the horizon vanished and past the road i could only see blue. It felt as though if we fell off the road we would start falling out of nothingness. We stopped here for a rest and photo opportunities before heading to the Atlas mountain.
We were dropped off a train station and placed on a over crowded train and was left standing outside in between carriages which was great for photo taking. The rock the ravines the kids running along the side of the train waving... It was a great experience and is a must for anyone. Occasionally the train stopped for us all to get out and take photos and run around like loons. After doing a forward - backwards we went to the train station to start heading back to the hotel.
We got back about 7pm in time for dinner and bed.

The next two days we spent doing not much really, we got a taxi into Sousse and experienced the strangest sales techniques and dabbled in some bartering in a hussle and bussle market maze. Followed by a casual stroll back to our hotel. The stroll took 4.5 hours across 4 beaches but we made it.

This morning i am back home tired and am setting off for work in 10 minutes and not looking forward to it in all fairness. All the above still fresh in my head i had to blog it. :)

Vampire in Venice

2009-03-13T14:33:00.003Z

BBC News is reporting that the skull of a woman with a brick in her mouth has been found in Venice, which suggests she may have been a vampire.
Apparently the skull dates from the middle ages and that the brick was probably used as an attempt to prevent her rising from the grave.

BBC Website

Cool huh?

Well i have packed this morning for my holiday and am all excited.
Will blog upon my return.

Goodness gracious... A Blog

2009-03-12T14:22:00.003Z

Hiya folks, just thought i would update my blog and give you an insight to the last 6 months.
Since September i have found myself running around like a pratt at work. Whilst i enjoy this, things got ridiculously busy with the installation of a new phone system, opening an new office and office changes Amongst all this i have been attending the local Gym on a regular basis and have decided to get myself healthy. My Personal Trainer really knows how to drive me. I feel better than ever at the moment and i'm loving it.

In December, Philippa and i took flight and set off to New York for her birthday.
New York is a must for anybody. We did everything we wanted to do plus more. It's amazing how the city is structured from Wall Street to Central Park and the architectural landscape is awe inspiring.
We took a tour on a bus (prebooked of course) which took us all around Manhatten and to Staten Island. Key interesting points were: The place where John Lennon was shot and finding the Zultar machine from the film "Big". Wall street was smaller than expected as the giagantic skyscrapers cast it in to shadow. On the Tuesday we went to a most excellent resturant called Tao for a meal. Afterwhich a friend of Philippa's gave us passage to Brooklyn for a few drinks so we could see the Manhattan skyline by night.

On the Monday evening we had front seat tickets to see Dave Mason at BB Kings Bar & Grill so we decided upon Champagne to set the mood of the holiday. Needless to say he was f**king brilliant.

We had front seat tickets to see the Lion King on the Wednesday which was excellent a shame the digicamera had card issues and lost some photos (not too many mind).

On the Thursday morning we crammed in the Empire States Building before getting picked up for the airport. I left feeling saddened. I didn't want to return in all honesty... It was excellent. Even walking to a elevator in the underground stepping over piss was rather scary but fun.

Next week i fly to Tunisia for my big 30, i have to say... I can't wait.

So ta-ra for now x

Debate: Annoying or Funny

2008-09-15T13:02:00.001+01:00

ADHD Chipmunk...

I found it very funny personally.

What a great idea

2008-08-20T23:53:00.003+01:00

What a larf:

"Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb."

www.garfieldminusgarfield.net

This Old Horse

2008-08-20T21:35:00.003+01:00

Ladies and Gentlemen i'd like to introduce to you my new best friend: Mr John McCririck

How Much???

2008-08-12T23:35:00.003+01:00

I may be Yorkshire but i really have to decline this loan. I found it advertised on FaceBook.

Dave Gilmour

2008-08-12T22:18:00.000+01:00

I love this... This is ace...

Bastards!!!!!

2008-08-12T10:50:00.002+01:00

ome anus drove into my car clipping the rear right edge by the window. Breaking my back window and denting my boot. However, they left no note of apology or insurance. I've been fucked over!

This is gonna cost me £200 :(

Here's a piccy of it being towed away:

As a result, i got wet to the pants walking to work this morning - lol

Jim Jefferies - Explict Comedian

2008-08-11T17:26:00.001+01:00

If you're easily offended don't watch this... if you don't care... Watch this...

Fruit Tree

2008-08-10T22:52:00.002+01:00

Now this is what Sunday's are all about. I have spent since 3pm till 11pm sat on my arse pretty much. Something i have wanted to do for years but haven't been able to for one reason or another.
It was good to Philippa this weekend after not seeing her all week. Friday night i cooked for my new roomys a splendid chinese chilli chicken with rice. Saturday i had my hair cut and spent the day wondering around York getting this that and the other.
I dropped Philippa home about 2pm and paid a visit to a few friends before heading home for my afternoon on the sofa.

Next weekend i cook a BBQ for 40 guests... Just imagine the mayhem!

On Lunch

2008-08-07T12:35:00.001+01:00

Yummmy - Left over KFC. Hmmmm That reminds me...

Charlie: How can you hate "The Colonel"?
Charlies Dad: He puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly smart arse!

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Busy Day

2008-08-06T22:11:00.001+01:00

Sooo busy infact, I am still at work! I don't mind though... Just had a bucket meal from KFC :)

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Mobile Torment

2008-08-05T23:10:00.002+01:00

So, it turns out i am on a 2 year contract with Orange and after a year my phone is pretty much dead on me. I was unable to make phone calls at 5.30 from York. Being the cancerous old git i am turning into i decided to find out what the shitting crikey was wrong.

The man in the shop was oooooing and errrrrring after i told him the story which generally means he didn't have a sodding clue and i sighed obviously loud when i realised this hoping he would notice and speak to his supervisor. Due to the 2 year contract, this meant that i was not entitled to a free upgrade which sucks a large hairy walnut.

To cut a long story short (too late)...

They decided i could use Emergency Insurance to get a next day delivery replacement phone at the mere cost of £30.00 (bargain) I then was subjected to a heavily accented fella on the phone reading me terms and conditions about the policy...

... The important bit is that i had to surrender my old phone but keep the battery and my sim. They didn't mention the memory card nor the fact i would have to keep the battery cover from my old phone... The Bastards!... I did what they said i followed every last detail. And now they are charging me £25 to try ad locate my old phone so they can return to me what was once mine... if they can find it or not!

Wankers!!!!

Home time soon.

2008-08-05T17:17:00.001+01:00

I'm excited... Another quiet night in the making.

w00p!

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