The Valley Rash

Green Release Party

2008-08-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

At long last I have posted some new recordings.

What began as a "demo" (useful in getting gigs) has evolved into a collection of covers and originals I have been playing around with over the last few years. Click on the "Bruce's Old Website" link on the right-hand side of the page and you'll find them posted there for your enjoyment.

This latest album is called "Party @sshole"

If this title offends, please allow me to try to explain. It is merely street slang - a reference to an individual, found at a gathering, who displays a certain type of behaviour... If you've ever met one, this description should suffice.

If you've never met one, or need a more specific example, consider the idea that perhaps to someone else, you're the party @sshole.

And they're not always men.

Actually, some of my favourite @sshole's are women.

If you haven't met a party @sshole yet, then you probably don't get out much. Or - maybe you're going to the wrong parties. Or, you might be working with @ssholes who need to learn to party

These party @ssholes, though - they're really something.

They are all unique. They all stick out. They are usually a good time.

In my heart of hearts, I would like to believe that they all mean no harm, that they're good intentioned. But then, I'm feeling particularly optimistic these days. Or, maybe I'm just getting skeptical of cynicism as I age. I suppose that my somewhat vague definition does include the descriptor, "does not hurt anyone". Yeah - that'd be fair to say.

A list of suggested locations for finding these folks:

Family Gatherings

Political Rallies

College/University House parties

Anywhere a person can be spotted wearing a t-shirt with a clever saying that accompanies a satirical cartoon OR displays a list of "reasons why Beer is Better than _____".

If you are one of these unique souls... well - you most likely know it, but you just don't care.

It's kind of implied in the moniker.

Of course, you may not say "party @sshole". You may go by a different classification or nomenclature; "Type-A" or perhaps even "life of the..." being examples of popular synonyms. I recently met one @sshole who called himself a "wallflower". What an @sshole!

At any rate - I'm taking the time to celebrate them because I can, and because I think about them.

A lot.

(I mentioned that some of my favourite @sshole's are women, right?)

There's a picture on the website which is my impression of an @sshole, and some would say that this is a pretty Darn Fine Representation. If there was a caption, it would read, "Party on, you @ssholes!!!"

I think you get the idea.

Some of the songs on this album are covers of old favorites and I would encourage you to go out and find the originals, because they're all really good.

I had specific people in mind when I recorded each of the covers, and I hope that those people are big enough @sshole's to think "Hey, this song is for me". 'Cuz, well - it is. I don't need to tell you who you are. @sshole.

This was a heck of a lot of fun to do and I hope to keep posting new stuff up here over the next little while.

I call this a "Green Release" because putting more plastic and paper into the world just seems such a horrible waste.

Enjoy...

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!!!

Thank-you's. I should do those.

A huge thank-you to Terra Hazelton for her inspiration and choice of tunes. Also, to Edward Belanger for renting me a mic at hour 11, John Schuett for inventing the world wide web, Rebecca Northan for having patience, though she thinks she has none, Katie and Jane for the place to launch it into cyberspace, Richie for the constant stream of inspiration and musicology, and anyone else who had anything at all to do with this.

Next?

February In Toronto.

2008-02-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

Once again, I’ve been far too long in posting. An update.
Took my show,“ This Is Cancer” through more stages than I’d care to count. Two years and counting in the creation and performance of it. PlayRites in Calgary was a HUGE step forward and it's been rolling ever since. Even won an award last summer for it... which was such an honor.
A version in St. Catherine’s, a version for the Toronto Fringe, a version to Vancouver for the Here Be Monsters Carnival of the Arts, a version to Regina and presented by Hectik Theatre, and, lastly, a version to Whitehorse for the Pivot Festival at Nakai Theatre. So – we’ve been all over the country (almost). My fingers are crossed for a BIG East-coast tour – as I have always wanted to see that part of the country… and… they get Cancer, don’t they?
I’ve encountered so many lovely survivors who are wonderfully open to share their experiences and it’s been such a blessing. Crazy show.
In other news, I’ve received my certification in Thai Yoga Massage and have started up my own practice. It’s going rather well. Starting to book more and more clients, and I’m really enjoying the work. If I can’t “heal through humor”, perhaps I can heal through Metta.
Back in Toronto now for a good chunk. Rebecca is in Calgary where she's teaching at the University. Time apart always seems to agree with us, and I'm enjoying the Bachelor life. It means I can watch Jurassic Park EVERY NIGHT of the week.
Yay.

Acapulco Friday

2006-05-30T15:00:00.000-07:00

Spent the weekend in Acapulco, if you can believe it. We did a glorified scavengar hunt for lawyers, battled the sea and sun, and drank cerveza till our livers cried "Grande Chichas". Saw my wife party like a 16 year old, which was fairly awesome, and sweet vindication for the sheer number of times I've come home in the same/similar condition.
Back in Toronto for the heat and a tidy little TTC strike, which made the entire city feel so good. Nothing beats content Torontonians...
The Visa Bill for the last month has been paid, much to the depletion of our savings account, but nobody says Oslo is cheap - just the Norwegians...are cheap, I mean... never mind.
Bleagh?
Bleaaghaghaghgahaaahhhgggggghhhh....
Gladstone and Sanders will be arriving soon - so I'm preparing to get into the Best Shape of My Career...
Could it get any better, you ask?
Let's find out...

Ok... so I should update this thing...

2006-05-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

Ok – so I’m not nearly as diligent at this Blog thing as I would so dearly have liked to be. My sister-in-law is great at remarking how little is actually on this blog. Does anyone read it? Well – this one’s for you, Christy… and anyone else… whoever you are.
I am a married man.
Yup.
The wedding was so great. You can check out Rebecca’s blog for details on the actual event. (Rebecca thinks that’s a lame thing to do, and that people want to know my thoughts on the subject, and that I’m such a husband already. “Stop typing what I say! What did you just type?”)
Ok – this is my blog – not hers – so I’ll say this: it was a night I will never forget. It was exactly what I wanted – including having my brother Steve go all Alpha-male on me over dinner, and watching my poor Grandmother wither down to just under 3 ½ feet as the “show” glided into hour four…
Has the experience changed me? Subtle ways, I suppose. I’ve grown over a foot and my hair is grey now.
Come on now… that’s not true.
The subtle ways, yeah, that’s true. There’s a calmness, a “settled” feeling. As our shit comes up, we seem less afraid to deal with it, thinking, “oh, this will be the end of us”.
Also, as Christian remarked – “there’s no rush”. I suppose that lends itself to the calmness.
Rebecca and I had a consultation with an organizational expert yesterday, and she’s bringing her “team” with her next week to help us sort out our apartment. It’s our first project together as a married couple. It’s pretty exciting, actually. We are two people who crave organization, but we become overwhelmed by the enormity of the piles and the scattered files that seem to have accumulated in our years of moving and constant transition. Getting this place “functional” will be a huge relief to both of us. In the years that we’ve been together, I’m not sure we’ve ever had a system for the office.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Back in Toronto now.
I had a little holiday to London and Oslo. It was originally going to be our Honeymoon – but plans changed…
One week in London by myself, seeing various museums and galleries and hanging with Aran Brownlee and his excellent girlfriend, Kelly. They made time and space for me, which was so awesome, considering the last-minuteness of the whole affair.
Originally, the plan was that Rebecca would go with me to London, and the two of us would stay there for a night, go to Paris and see France. However, Rebecca’s schedule on the film meant that she would have to meet me in Oslo. So, not wanting to be completely disarmed in a country where I spoke not word of the language, I was on my own in London. Thankfully, the hostel was accommodating, as were Aran and Kelly. I don’t regret that Rebecca couldn’t be with me… she doesn’t do well in museums, and I could spend the whole day in them. And did…
While perusing the various museums (Vicotia and Albert, National Gallery, Tate Modern, National Portrait Gallery, etc…) I discovered the Audio Tour. A great way to see an exhibit or collection, especially if you’re easily distracted, as I am, or if you can’t read the impossibly small printing on the cards that accompany the various masterpieces which adorn some of the finer galleries. Also, as Milo March would say, “I’m an Auditory Learner, darling”.
Stayed a couple of nights at the Piccadilly Backpackers – a hostel right in the heart SoHo. I would recommend it if you’re traveling with someone and can get a private room. It’s a huge place, and the dorm-style rooms, though clean, do seem a bit sketch-ville. I got a room to myself, and was glad of it. It’s bare-bones, the “free breakfast” is slim, a seven a.m fire alarm was unwarranted (though it did provide a glimpse of a gaggle of towel-clad Spaniards) and the showers require protective footwear (if you know what I mean…). But, the location can’t be beat, and the price is fair… Also, the Australians at the desk are very helpful.
Saw “the Sultan’s Elephant” while in London – a French puppet troupe, bringing four-story tall puppets, operated by cranes and tractors and little guys with poles. There was an elephant and a girl puppet as well – they marched these things through the streets of London, followed by a live band on a truck. It was quite the thing. Aran, Kelly and I went and watched the Finale on the Sunday, which included the girl being adorned with Goggles and being put into a rocket before being “launched” – very cool shit. Smoke filled the square, and when the rocket was re-opened, the girl has magically vanished. Kelly remarked that it would have been a very clever way to bomb London. This was a thought I had shared. Talk about innocence lost…
Went on a walking tour of old London. It was a bit of a rainy day, so I ended up being the only one on the tour. “The Blood and Tears” walk – saw the place where Sweeney Todd’s and the Pie Shop stood. Saw the place were one of the prime Jack the Ripper suspects lived. Saw where they hanged William Wallace. Saw the print shop where David Bowie worked when he wrote Space Oddity… The tour guide was excellent – very funny and very well-researched.
Aran and I had some late nights boozing. Particularly my last night, in which we polished off a bottle of J & B, mere hours before I was to be on the train to get to the airport. Of course, the trains in London were Fucked, and I missed my flight to Oslo. The airline blamed the train, and I had to buy a whole new ticket. This, of course, put a serious dent in my travel plans, as I had hoped to take a detour to Amsterdam following Oslo, and see if Mr. Flores could “break me”. Sadly, I spent 11 hours in Stansted Airport getting over my hangover, and cursing the Stansted Express and their “signal failure”.
Arrived in Oslo and was met at the airport by the Norwegian hosts, who took very good care of me. Rebecca arrived the next day, ill, and proceeded to infect me with her cold. We both decided that this was not to be considered our “honeymoon” since both of us spent a great deal of time incapacitated.
Oslo is a beautiful city. We stayed in one of the oldest parts of the city, near the royal palace and the national gallery. Derek assures me that there’s a Hamburger truck that appears on the square late at night, but he is unable to provide any proof of this.
The Columbian team of Improvisers were a highlight to the festival – they were so good, so charming, so physical, and were all excellent dancers. (Cecilia was spotted at the centre of a circle of transfixed the Swedes, demonstrating how hips were designed to move…) Philipe showed me some magic tricks, which I will never remember…
Rebecca and I spent an evening back in London before returning to Toronto. Christian and his wife Jenny took us for dinner and showed us their place – a lovely flat which they are planning on leaving as soon as they buy a place… good luck to them.
All in all – a great trip. A lot of walking. A lot of talking. Next week: Acapulco.

Quickie

2006-02-02T06:44:00.000-08:00

A quick one before I blast off to the world of Hillhurst Community School.
I'm in Calgary doing a residency at an elementary school (they let me near children - the police report cleared and I'm back where they feared I would be).
The History of the Future was a blast - looking forward to the next production, when we rewrite the whole thing, and then realize that maybe were were closer than we thought....
February will March into April - but April doesn't mind, because she's always been a bit of a tart, if you know what I mean.
In a word -
Bleagh.

The Engagement and Cancer

2005-11-18T16:01:00.000-08:00

That's right, friends - officially, I am engaged. Rebecca said "yes" during the Sunday Matinee of The Canada Show at the Waterfront Theatre, here in beautiful Vancouver, B.C. I popped the question during the closing number. We've got it on tape (thanks to Simon for that) - so, I'll be able to review it and see just how it all went. It's a bit of a blur to me - as I think I was on the edge of losing my mind to nervousness.
Huzzah-huzzah.
She's back in the Big Stink, now - so, we'll see each other again and probably get married or something.
Hi-diddly-dee - the actor's life for me.
Went down to J.B. and David Milchard's show on Tuesday and did a small bit as Cancer the Clown. He'll be appearing again in Calgary next week - so hopefully he manages to find his soul-mate and actually get someone to take him home. Upon arriving, he immediately (and inadvertantly) gave flowers to two individuals who have/had cancer. That, I guess, is the power of clown - to know what you don't.
This is a strange new world which I am enjoying greatly.
Anyone have any thoughts on where Cancer can go next?
I dream of performing at a Cancer Rally - or - even better - Just For Laughs. It's fucking dark stuff, man - would the French like it?

The Valley Rash

2005-10-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

Back in White Rock, B.C. after a week's sojourn at the Gladstone Family Cabin in Windermere, B.C.

I got a call from the Professor. He's just had some plumbing issues that need attending to. Who can predict an exploding toilet? That's usually not even on the list. Roaches the size of your neighbors? Maybe. Neighbors the size of elephants? Sure. But an elephantine lake of fetid water in your kitchen is not generally considered by the new tenant.
What does this mean for the Professor and FieldZee? Well - when he finds a dry, stink-free hole to plug his laptop into and get his blog up and running, I'm sure he'll be only too happy to tell you.
All this action in the 'Couve means that the morning was a write-off, but there will be a Monster-Summit later in the day, and I'll probably end up in the same situation that I've been finding myself in for the past two weeks: in bed early, with the lights off, sleeping sound with the knowledge that our government processes are working exactly as they should be.

This Strike business has led to some good things, though.
Three strikes in a row at the Valley Alley, a lucky spin, and the next thing we knew, FieldZee was the proud owner of an actual Turkey.
Thankfully, the vegetarian streak she's been on for the past little while goes unbroken by the house rule that only "league" members can win the turkey. She didn't go away empty fisted, though. The Valley Alley folks were kind enough to give her a ten-dollar gift certificate which I'm sure she'll spend on good stuff, like Chocolate for Mr. Sanchez.
Ah...Chocolates for Mr. Sanchez. That's a week I won't soon forget.

Just finished reading "Why I Hate Canadians" by Will Ferguson. He's also the author of "Canadian History for Dummies" - the essential reading material of Monster Theatre. This one was really quite good. It was recommended to me several years ago over breakfast at B's diner in Edmonton by Chris "the funny English guy" Gibbs. We laughed for hours when we both realized that Canadian and English are almost the same language. My rough translation of his description of Ferguson's book is something along the lines of "it's a jolly good read, eh what?" And, I agree. Some very funny points get made about Canadians, and I still managed to feel mostly proud at the end of it. Mostly.

Don't think that it was all fun and games at the cabin. The Professor and I wrote and rewrote the first act of Canada Show 2. Look for it at the Waterfront Theatre in Vancouver from November 10-20th. We're delving deeper, and it looks promising. The second act is going to kick ass on the first one. I believe it may feature exploding toilets and striking teachers.

Two new songs for the History of the Future are: Back on the Boat (a post-flood song) and Sexual Chances (the tale of post-industrial finance). Both were penned at the cabin in the same evening after discussions of where we might end up if we had our own way. Of course, nothing is concrete, so they may end up as rarities on the next Monster Compilation. Look for them in the box set, at any rate.

With any luck, we'll be back on the road next week with the show - educating and entertaining across the province. If not, I'm considering a trade school. Plumbing?