If you don't like it...bite it!

The Funniest Thing I've Seen In Like...Forever!!!

2006-01-12T08:58:00.000-06:00

I laughed out loud for like 5 minutes straight. My co-workers think I'm nuts now but I don't care. I love this. It just proves that I am not the only one that thinks she a cow! Click on it to make it bigger and read the names of her songs and the review by rolling I mean rotting stone. That is the funniest part of all. I love whoever made this and so should you. In all reality though...look at the full length one of her in the silver dress...it's really not that far off from reality. MOO MOO! Thanks to d-listed for the image!

For chelsea's Mama - Celebrity Comparison The Cowardly Lion - vs - Mariah Carey

2006-01-10T15:02:00.000-06:00

By George...I think she's onto something here!

Good Job Chelsea's Mama!

Is it just a coincidence that the Cowardly Lion has the word "cow" in it? I think not!

Sad Mariah News

2006-01-10T14:43:00.000-06:00

I have to report that I wrecked my car on Sunday. I was driving down a dark gravel road at 5am doing one of my other jobs and hit Mooriah. She was dressed in all black and in the dark I couldn't see her. Her head went into my windshield and her fat body tore the mirror off my drivers door. It also bent my wiper blade arm and I have to get it replaced. I didn't get a scratch on me but the cow (I mean Mooriah) had to be put down from a broken jaw. There is pieces of her hair, some blood and meat chunks stuck in my windshield still. It's really quite disgusting.
Maybe I will sell the chunks on ebay to the psycho Mooriah lovers. Maybe I will make millions!

Mariah Carey is a FAT Liar! I hate her and so should you!

2006-01-06T15:23:00.000-06:00

I am deeply annoyed by this album cover as it is an inacurate depiction of what fatass Mariah (whore) Carey really looks like.

Have you seen this cow lately? I mean seriously, this is some airbrushing magic. The person that did the airbrushing must have worked day and night for a month to make her body look this good! You don't believe me? Look at this picture of Mooriah singing at Dick Clarks New Years Eve party just last week!

Just look at her fricken thigh! It's H U G E! And look at her cheeks and double chin too. FAT!!!

I think that they should stop lying and show an accurate picture and title of the album. For instance just look at the one I came up with below:

They should also tell the truth about the album sales! Yes it has gone platinum but they forget to mention that the people buying it are farmers and such that are trying to get rid of pests like mice and crows. They play the cd at high volumes to scare away these pesty critters because some of the screaches on it are so high pitched they will make your eardrums bleed. Everyone hates it including wildlife. Kudos to Bite it Reader Doña Jimena for her comment below:

"There's another big reason to hate Mariah... She keeps singing (yes, those horrible screams are supposed to be a song)... and apparently she will never stop recording albums."

Which of course was followed with a comment by the psycho Mariah lover that e-mailed me that freaky but hilarious letter I posted yesterday for you all to see:

"i love mariah and hope she never stops singing...shes the best singer in the world and a great role model...she doesnt hav horrible screams either u jelous bastard...ur lame peices of shitget a life!!!love ya mariah"

First of all Twit...Mooriah will never see your little love letters you leave on sites like this. Even if she did do you think that you are going to get some thank-you from her? NO! You won't because she is a stuck up whore too busy screwing her way to a better career and even if she were wholesome (of which she's not) she wouldn't converse with the likes of you because you are obviously illiterate. Your spelling and grammar give it away! As much as I don't like Mariah Carey I think she would be more intelligent then you are, even my cat would be as far as that goes.

Mariah Carey SUCKS!

2006-01-05T11:25:00.000-06:00

Hey Guys....sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been working alot of overtime to pay for my holiday bills. I think I liked Christmas a whole lot more when I was 10. Anyway...I wasn't planning on posting today but a freaked out Mariah (whore) Carey fan didn't like my post on the top 10 reasons that I hate Mariah Carey and chose to e-mail the following to me. I thought it was hilarious and I had to share it with you. Enjoy!

At 11:35 PM, ur the whore said...
reasons why i hate u
1.your a whore
2.your jelous of mairah
3.mariah was locked up and made to cover up while she was married to that pig, now she is taking advantage of not covering up while she can
4.your a slut
5.your a phyco peice of shit (mariah was just a little over worked so dont start ok)
6.your a whore
7.i saw a slut and it reminded me of you
8.did u mention that you are a whore
9.peice of shit stop dissin mariah and go and get a life
10.oooh this is the main one now...your a whore

i also dont know how to use punctuation, capitalize or spell. Does anyone know how to spell jelous or phyco or peice? How about mairah? aren't the first letters of every sentence supposed to be capitalized? Aren't i suppose to capitalize i when i am referring to myself? isn't u spelled this way? when i type the word your and mean it as you are isnt there an apostraphe? I am obviously a twit; a fat one at that and idolize mariah carey becuz she is a the slut i wish i could be. i know dat married peeps arnt suppose to dress like whores but if i were skinny i wood dress like a whore. i wish i could just get a date. thank god that hostess invented all these yummy snacks to keep me occupied other then during the times that im not masterbating to maraih carey teenbop magazines and watching her awesome movie "Glitter". P. S. T is a whore!

Thar She Blows...

2005-12-02T14:52:00.000-06:00

Why is it that when you are a celebrity and you procreate you have to name your kid something completely off the wall and goofy? Is that in your contract or something. Well although this is not the weirdest or worst name I've heard I still dislike it and would never name my kid this! Anyway here goes...

CONGRAT'S TO BEN AFFLECK AND JENNIFER GARNER AFFLECK ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR BABY GIRL...VIOLET!

You can get more specifics on the birth, well what little info there is by checking out Page Six! I''m just glad she finally got that kid out; I thought she was going to explode any day. My gosh she was GIGANTIC! It looked like there was triplets in there or something. Since we now know that it was only a single birth the kid must have weighed like 12 LBS. or something. You can listen to her giving birth by clicking here. ENJOY!

Happy Birthday Britney Spears!

2005-12-02T14:39:00.000-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITS!

For her present she gone and bought herselfs a brain, Uh Huh she did yes indeedie!

Or at least according to Perez Hilton she did anyways.

I just love it when these 2 squabble. I am seriously going to throw a party when it's officially over between the two of them. I truly can't stand the gold digger daddy K'Feds. Anyway...I love the story Perez Hilton reported...check it out!

Would Someone Just Kill This Bitch Already...

2005-12-02T14:28:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I'm doing this. I apologize for 2 Paris Hobag posts in one day but I have to say...WTF! According to Digital Spy...the slut is engaged AGAIN! Now she's engaged to Stavros, I'm an illiterate ape, Niarchos. Does she not understand that being engaged means that you love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them because you love them so much? Paris has no idea what either of those terms mean. She is a dumb whore. I hate her and so should you!

The Sexiest Man ALIVE!

2005-12-02T14:16:00.000-06:00

HAVE YOU NOT CLICKED ON THE BEEFBOY LINK ON THE RIGHT OF THIS PAGE YET?

IF YOU HAVEN'T THEN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???

The Beefboy is the sexiest man alive! Ladies, the Beefboy is not only incredibly sexy, he is a genious and he is kind and thoughtful too. Look at what he sent my for my birthday last week! I love him and so should you. Lots of X's and O's back at you Beefbaby!

Paris Hilton Can NOT Sing Worth A Shit!

2005-12-02T14:10:00.000-06:00

Have your heard screwed yet? It is truly aweful. I don't even know how to describe it. She is terribly off tune and she keeps saying my hearts wide open and I think she has confused what heart and legs are because we all know that her legs are what is always wide open. Anyway...click on the link to listen to it and judge for yourself.

Paris To Discard Of Yet Another Pet

2005-11-18T11:56:00.000-06:00

Paris had been sent a letter of warning from The California Department for Fish and Game. Evidentally her new pet monkey thing (Kinkajou) that she named "Baby Luv" is illegal in California and she broke the law when she smuggled it into the state after purchasing it in Las Vegas recently. Paris has been told to take the thing back or charges will be pressed.

PETA spokeswoman was quoted as saying, "It seems Paris thinks animals are as disposable as friends and fiancés"! Paris' camp said that she is a law abiding citizen and will abide with the law.

I don't know why she'd want to keep the damn thing anyway. It is a wild animal that can't be tamed. It attacked her last week scratching her face and biting her as well. It will swing from curtain to curtain in a house because that's what it does on trees. What fun! I'm sure that Tinkerbell is relieved as well. It must suck for poor Tink to always play second fiddle to some new thing, animal or fiancé everyweek! Not only that poor Tink is forced to listen to Paris get laid by multiple different men on a regular basis and hear her giggle and say "That's Hot" all the time. I'm surprised Tink hasn't committed suicide by now! I would have!

Story Source: Female First - Image Source: CelebWorld

Britney Spears Has No Chilly Weather Clothes

2005-11-18T11:21:00.000-06:00

So she goes out wearing this get-up. God that looks just horrible. She must have borrowed the fur coat from Jamie Lynn because it obviously doesn't fit her. The whole thing looks awful and she knows it too because she put her hair up in a ponytail and went out winter clothing shopping. Evidentally just the right outfit makes your hair and everything look so much better. Now if she'd lose that purse we'd be talking big improvement. I'm waiting for the PETA people to attack her very soon! All she has to do to keep them or anybody for that matter away is bring a ghetto blaster with her everywhere she goes. If they procede to pounce...she just has to pop in a track off of hubbies cd and they will run away with their hands on their ears screaming in pain. Maybe I should try that. If I did maybe I could get free stuff. Just play it when I want to leave the store without paying and nobody would stop me...right? hahaha

Image Source: CelebWorld

Victoria Gotti Is A Very Protective Mommy

2005-11-18T10:52:00.000-06:00

According to Page 6 Victoria Gotti is quite protective of her gelly haired sons and doesn't take lightly to anyone speaking poorly of them, even when it's the truth.

Victoria's son Carmine is one of the contestants on VH1's "But Can They Sing" (click to watch it for yourself) and let me tell ya...he's aweful. No, he absolutely can NOT sing. Well anyway, last week after Carmine slaughtered you remind me by Usher the host of the show, "Ant" said that Carmine sounded like a cat caught in a muffler (which is the truth). Victoria went apeshit. They had to shut down taping of the show for over an hour because of her ranting and raving.

If I were "Ant" I would apologize promptly. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up missing and they find him at the bottom of a lake with cement shoes. After all, you don't want to piss off the Gotti's. Mob King's and all. I know that kind of stuff isn't supposed to be going on anymore but even if it is...are they going to really admit it? C'mon Now!

Check It Out...I Am Number 3 On A Yahoo Search

2005-11-18T10:46:00.000-06:00

I have to pat myself on the back. I usually am way at the bottom of a search engine but Yahoo has seen it fit to place me at #3 when you search for walking vomit Kim Stewart. I will go buy myself a Peanut Buster Parfait now. I am so proud!

Kimberly Stewart - NOT In Good With Her Future In-Laws

2005-11-18T10:34:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I reported that Kim Stewart and Talon from Laguna Beach have suddenly announced they are engaged. They are gathering their paperwork and getting married this weekend in Las Vegas as a matter of fact. Talon's mom is hysterical and won't stop crying about it. Honestly, could any mother be happy about this though? Can't you just hear it now?

Hello family...meet my skank...I mean daughter in law. Her name is Kim and her dad is Rod Stewart. He says that blow these days isn't the same quality as it used to be. It used to be so much more pure and now there's lots of stuff mixed with it so it's not as good. What do you think?

I'm sure that will go over real well with Grams and Gramps! Mama Talon...I feel your pain!

Source: Page Six

Kimberly Stewart Is Engaged To Talon From Laguna Beach

2005-11-17T09:36:00.000-06:00

I think she is just disgusting and so should you. I refer to her as walking vomit! I'm sure that Talons parents are thrilled he is marrying the skank. She gets engaged to everyone she dates so I don't anticipate this lasting too long. As a matter of fact she has only been dating him for like a month. She just broke up with the girls gone wild producer last month so how can these 2 honestly think they are "in love" and ready to spend the rest of their lives together? Oh yeah, she is BFF with Paris Hilton. That explains it. She needs to be engaged to someone to keep up with Paris.

Source: People

Pray For This Child Please!

2005-11-16T14:51:00.000-06:00

See this sweet looking innocent little girl?

Well get those sugary thoughts out of your head because she's not very nice.

She beat up her dads girlfriend.

This is my daughter and she has been very very naughty. I would appreciate if you prayed for her to get over this funk that she is in. Right now I am trying to do the tough love thing for her and it's harder on me then it is her I think. Anyway, keep her in your prayers for me. Thanks!

Will The Real Billionaire Stavros Please Stand Up?

2005-11-16T14:39:00.000-06:00

Wow, I am in amazement. Could it be that there truly is an EVIL Stavros Look-A-Like?

Well, the look alike has more chest hair but the dude is dressed the same as Stavros and everything. I wonder what this guys purpose for this is and why Stavros tolerates it. If I were the real Stavros I would have beat the crap out him rather then my hotel room. This is just too creepy. I'm sure that he's has a time or two with Paris in the sack as well. Bunch Of Freaks!

Who Said It Game Of The Week

2005-11-16T13:12:00.000-06:00

Which female celebrity said this stupid quote? Remember I am a broke ass so I can't give you a real prize but I will post your name on the site if you are the winner. Here Goes:

"I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra".

Yeah, I don't get it either???

Good Luck Everyone!

Serena Williams = YUCK!

2005-11-16T13:03:00.000-06:00

Just look at this picture I found of Serena Williams walking her Great Dane with Shaquille O'Neil behind her. Yes, it really is a great dane and Shaq. The thing is that her ASS and legs are so huge that it makes the dog and shaq look much smaller then they really are.

Serena has Junk in the Trunk and I'm not talking about her car's trunk either.

Damn girl! That looks just nasty!

Paris Got Dumped

2005-11-16T11:50:00.000-06:00

Seriously...earlier I reported that Paris was saying how Stavros and his friends were too immature for her and that she was very upset about his "pillow fight". Well it looks like Stavros did the dumping (On Sunday) before she could and Paris wasn't pleased. When he left she was crying out his name and saying please come back and he didn't return. The reason you ask? SHE is a bad influence. According to Stavros, Paris is constantly saying, "Let's party like rock-stars"! Stavros is tired of partying everynight of the week and evidentally his family is tired of hearing about and paying for the aftermath. Stavros' family called him and yelled at him. They told him to get away from Paris because she is a bad influence and that they loved him. Stavros' splitting words. "I should have been home studying, but instead I am here paying for $100,000.00 in bills. I need to reflect"!

I think that's funny. The queen of dumping men and hurting them got dumped. I love it!

Oh it just keeps getting better and better

2005-11-16T11:22:00.000-06:00

More Britney and Kevin News...I am laughing so hard I can hardly type! Oh my goodness compose myself...OK Here Goes! For weeks I have been saying that since Brit is tired of Kevin and he obviously knows it that he would be out looking for his next gal pal to freeload off of in case Britney cut him off. Well, I always predicted that he would run back to Shar and evidentally I was right! Now here is the story!

Remember when Britney took Sean and flew home to Lousiana for a while to be with her mom. Well, while she was gone Kevin went out partying and didn't even call her. Well, now Kevin has added more to what he did. Kevin went partying with Shar. Britney is livid I guess. Who wouldn't be! Anyway...not only that Kevin told Britney that he plans on buying Shar and his kids a home near Britneys 3.4 million dollar malibu home. My question though is how is HE going to buy it. He has no money of his own. LOSER! "Britney is seeing red with Kevin right now. She always seemed very jealous that Kevin's feelings for Shar still linger on. Britney is also fuming over Kevin spending so much time on his CD project and not with her and Sean." It is said his confession that he bumped into Shar at a club while Britney was home with seven-week-old Sean was the last straw.

Now Shar is going around telling everyone that Kevin and her discussed it and they are both in love with one another and nothing will ever change that. "I'm gonna love Kevin forever," Shar told a reporter. When she was asked if Kevin still loved her, she replied: "He doesn't have a choice. I got in there. You can't just get rid of that." I feel bad for Britney but what can ya do. He is a loser and it's sad he screwed Britney over like this. I hate him and so should you.

Source: Yahoo News

K - Fed (Daddy) Broke His Hand

2005-11-16T11:11:00.000-06:00

Yes, it's true...Daddy has broken his hand but what he was doing is the funny part. We all know that Britney has kicked him to the curb for their trial seperation so Kevin could sort out his priorities. Well, daddy's idea of sorting out his priorities is going clubbing everynight and rocking out. So much so in fact that the "professional dancer" fell on his ass while showing everyone his awesome moves at the Spider Club this weekend. He landed on his hand and fractured it.

What an idiot. Kevin doesn't need any help making himself look like an ass but this must have been hilarious to see. I can't stand him! Evidentally nobody else can either because according to MSNBC, Star Magazine did a poll of 5400 of it's readers and 96% of them think that K-Fed is a gold digger. Evidentally if Britney divorces him now, she will have to pay him $30,000.00 because of the pre-nup. Why does she have to pay him? Well, he spends that on a weekly basis so I don't see how giving him $30 G now to make him go away would really be a problem.

Paris Has HAD IT With Greek Shipping Heirs

2005-11-16T09:39:00.000-06:00

(Sorry that I had to post another picture of Paris)

We all heard yesterday about how Paris is upset with Stavros after his "pillow fight" at the Hard Rock Hotel this weekend lead up to causing $100,000.00 in damage. Paris was overheard telling Kelly Osbourne "Just look at this mess! I don't want them (The Hard Rock Hotel) to think I bring in people who do this stuff. Paris has had it with Stavros after this room trashing stunt," said a source close to the celebrity heiress. "She thinks he and his crazy buddies are way too immature for her." While Stavros was overheard telling staff at the Hard Rock Hotel, "Why are you so upset? It's all going to be paid for." In typical Stavros fashion. Paris' boy toy caused water damage to at least 4 rooms as well as destroying his room and it's belongings. Paris was livid and she holds him personally responsible for what happened. According to one of Paris' friends, the act of hooliganism may be the final straw for her relationship with Stavros.

I find this especailly funny because yesterday I read a report that said Paris was quoted as saying, "Stavros and I are very much in love"!

But wait...it gets better! Now we all know that Paris never lies, like the time she said that she wasn't aware she was being video taped having sex with whats his face but when you watch it she waves at the camera, says hi to the camera etc. etc. etc. Well, today Camp Hilton is saying that the person the destroyed the rooms was not Stavros at all but "A LOOK ALIKE" of him. YEAH RIGHT! This happens all the time...evidentally this Stavros look alike is everywhere that Paris and Stavros go and is mistaken for him all the time. Stavros just paid for the damage to be a good sport. uh huh! Does she expect us to really believe that? Dumb Bitch!

Source: Yahoo News

Anna Nicole Is BI - Sexual

2005-11-16T09:23:00.000-06:00

Page Six is reporting today that while Anna Nicole was playing Bingo at Hamburger Mary's in West Hollywood last week for Charity she took home a prize of her own. A blond bar-maid named Tracy. When Tracy came back to work the next day she wasn't keeping quiet about her night with Anna. She shared multiple digital camera images of her and Anna, told everyone about how Anna likes to spank and her neck was covered with hickies. Now that is just GROSS! I am waiting to hear Anna's response to this. Was she drunk? I'm sure she'll blame it on some sort of prescription drugs she was taking or something to that effect. Nothing is EVER her fault!