Mooselet Musings

Not Photo Friday

2009-12-18T23:59:00.000+10:00

I have a great picture for you, really... But I've been to a neighbourhood Christmas party and after several White Russians, not a great deal of substantial food and less sleep I'm a wee bit tipsy. And so can't figure out how to get the picture off my phone and onto the computer for you. Far too complicated for me right now.

So I'm just going to make a general announcement (that I already made on Facebook this arvo - if you already know then don't ruin the surprise for everyone else). I got assessed and checked off on my chemotherapy administration.

Doesn't sound too flash, does it? It is for me, because it means I can finally work on my own. This is a huge deal for me as I will feel more like a part of the team and less of a burden to my co-workers and preceptor. I hate feeling like that, like I'm slowing people down. Have I ever mentioned I'm kinda a control freak and set high expectations for myself?

My assessment consisted of our unit clinical facilitator watching me administer a few types of chemo, quizzing me on what I was doing, policies, and general knowledge about other common types of chemotherapy we give. All while I was wearing my Personal Protective Equipment - face shield, mask, gown, gloves; I really need to get a photo to show you how full on it is. I had two minor stumbles... and you can tell how much of a control freak I am by the fact I kept track of how many questions I didn't know the answer to... but otherwise did well. I actually did a bit of a celebratory dance at the nurse's station when it was over.

I still have module work to do, but I'm taking a break from them until after Christmas. And if it was obvious I'm still really liking my job. I'll get into that a bit more another time, but now it's time to sleep off the effects of this evening.

Busy

2009-12-16T06:21:00.003+10:00

Sorry I've been absent, if there's anybody left reading my poor neglected blog. But this has been my brain lately:

But things really are looking up once I get past Christmas. I've had my 3 month evaluation at work that went very very well and I should be able to have my Chemotherapy Administration Assessment either next week or just after Christmas. That will allow me to be independent, which is good. Not that my preceptor hasn't been good - she's great and has boosted my confidence a lot - but I'd like to be helping the whole team out, which I can't do right now. It's a little frustrating.

And Christmas has me spinning - only 9 sleeps to go and I'm not close to being done. I'm heading out today (my day off) but I've got Her Majesty and Clive with me so I can't do anything for them. On the plus side I don't have to work Christmas Day, so I really can't complain.

I'm feeling less passive, just really tired still. I honestly think once I get past Christmas things will ease up. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself, and it'll be as crazy as usual and I'll come up with another excuse.

OK, this was kind rambling but did you SEE the picture up there? Think about how I feel!

I will try to get on later today and do a post updating you on how my spawn are. In short - very well and driving me batty.

Priorities, Doc

2009-12-02T22:43:00.003+10:00

My preceptor and I were reading through a patient's history yesterday. This is fairly standard procedure before giving chemo - we want to know a bit about the patient so we know we're giving the appropriate treatment, what questions to ask and to get an overall picture of the person. The Medical Oncologists dictate their notes, so at least they're legible - the down side of this practice is that on the day of treatment there is nothing written, often leaving us going "what the hell is going on?"

But I digress... We were reading a fairly extensive summary of past history and the current investigation (current meaning 2008 when it was found) for suspected bowel cancer. Lots of medical jargon and an entire typed page later, the patient has fairly nasty colon cancer. That sucks. Treatment plan listed, thanks for referring, blah blah blah... My preceptor and I are about to skip ahead a bit when I notice the single line PS at the top of the next page:

PS - CT scan shows liver metastasis.

What??? Uh, a spread of cancer to the liver is pretty fucking serious. In fact, it renders the cancer incurable. And you mention it as a post script???

We shake our heads and skip ahead. The patient has done remarkably well and is still with us a year+ after her diagnosis. This does not mean her cancer is cured or the doctors were wrong... it means it hasn't spread further and she continues with active treatment to continue to prolong her life. Just so we're clear. We then find this sentence opening a recent progress note:

She has recently returned from a holiday in New Zealand, where she had a good time despite the poor weather.

You can't make this shit up. A HUGELY significant finding that changes treatment from possibly curative to palliative gets a PS, and a vacation in shitty weather gets the headline?

Dear Doctor, please go and look up "priority" in a dictionary before dictating more notes. Your nursing staff will appreciate it.

Happy Turkey Day

2009-11-26T22:03:00.003+10:00

Today was the first Thanksgiving I've experienced here in Australia where I really missed being back in the US. We don't really celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday given that it's a pretty normal day with work and school. When we first moved here we did Thanksgiving on the weekend, but for the past several years I haven't even done that much. And it never bothered me until today. Today I found myself weepy over the whole thing as I drove into work... and let me caution people right now that being teary when driving a 4WD in peak hour traffic probably isn't the best time to let your emotions get the better of you.

I've come to accept that now and again, despite the fact that I chose to stay in Australia and that I know deep down it's a good decision for us (us=myself, The Hermit and our brood), I desperately miss the rest of my family and friends. It can strike anytime and anyplace - the food court at our local shopping centre was not a fun place to get upset - and I do my best to work through it. But this was the first holiday that I felt this way, and the first time I had to slap on a brave face and get through the work day because I just couldn't go be alone for a while. It kinda sucked.

I know your day is just beginning, along with a great 4 day weekend, but mine is about to wrap up (minus the long weekend... bummer) and I don't want to end it on a depressing note. How about a song to cheer us all up:

There, I feel a bit better, don't you? Thanks for letting me vent - I really am okay. I think next year I will gather my Australian friends and do a proper Thanksgiving (and no, Mumfies, there will be NO pageant) and remember to be thankful for everything I have and not mope over what I don't. I hope everyone back in the States has a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Have a piece of apple pie for me!

Happy Birthday

2009-11-25T22:14:00.004+10:00

I haven't done this for a while, but I need to take this moment to wish one of the most important people in my life a happy birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA MOOSELET!!!

Miss you lots and love you more.

Cereal

2009-11-23T22:05:00.004+10:00

I got home tonight just on 7 pm. This is late for me on a Monday as I had to pick Miss Thing up from work - her usual lift home had to go and break up with his boyfriend. I was hot, tired and hungry as were Her Majesty and Clive, who were in the car with me after being picked up before their sister. I hadn't taken anything out for dinner and was not feeling creative. Fast food? Blech - too hot and getting too late. Suck it up like I usually do and cook anyway? Fat chance. I needed something easy, something quick and something that vaguely resembled healthy.

We had cereal. The Hermit and Clive had Sultana Bran, Her Majesty had Choco Balls (and some rockmelon, aka cantelope) and I had some Vanilla Almond Crunch. Sparky wasn't too hungry after being home alone and eating a quarter of a cheesecake and a cupcake (hmmm, wonder why) and Miss Thing made herself some cinnamon toast.

Cereal for dinner. For a few moments I felt guilty over this - after all, shouldn't I do more to provide a decent meal for my family? Was a bowl of cereal really dinner?

Hell yeah! I suddenly remembered many dinners of cold cereal on a hot summer night and it was sweet. I mean that literally, as like many kids I had a taste for super sweet cereals... with one exception:

I'd like to point out that if Cheerios (and the American version, not the Australian one which is coated in some sweet stuff) didn't cost me over $10 a box from USA Foods I'd still eat it all the time.

Now Momma Mooselet worked super long hours when I was a kid - for all my bitching I've got nothing on my mother - and most of our weeknight dinners were macaroni with her special sauce (a can of tomato soup and a can of tomato paste), cans of Chef Boyardee or Dinty Moore beef stew, and cereals. And as I thought about it tonight, not once did I ever remember feeling deprived back then. Except when Gabe got more meatballs than me in his Spaghetti-Os & Meatballs, then I pissed and moaned.

So I kicked the guilt I was starting to feel in the ass and sat down at the table with my husband and kids to eat the best bowl of cereal I'd had in ages.

Very Detailed

2009-11-19T08:12:00.001+10:00

I just had to share this incredible warning that The Hermit found in his new motorcycle owner's manual (bold emphasis mine):

The rider must always be aware that active safety systems have a preventative function. The active elements help the rider control the motorcycle, making it as easy and safe to ride as possible. The presence of an active safety system should not encourage the rider to ride at speeds beyond the reasonable limits, in accordance with the road conditions, the laws of physics, good riding standards and the requirements of the highway code.

I've seen my share of owner's manuals, but I have never EVER seen one recommend not trying to break the laws of physics. I think throwing that phrase in there covers just about every eventuality.

"Uh, dear? I had a little accident on the motorcycle..."

"You were trying to break the laws of physics again, weren't you? Didn't the manual tell you not to do that? Honestly, you never learn..."

Microsoft Spell Check FAIL

2009-11-18T09:26:00.000+10:00

As we all know spell check isn't foolproof. We all get caught out when we mistype a word that really is a word, but not the one we wanted. I presume this is how the typos that I'm finding in my nursing modules happened.

I sometimes wish Microsoft had a medical dictionary option, because when I use a lot of medical terms I get a page full of red squiggly lines. I then either ignore them or add them to my dictionary. Last week the dictionary failed to recognize the term 'myeloma'. Myeloma is a primary tumour of the bone marrow. One of Microsoft's suggestions to replace myeloma was 'milkman'.

??? Out of what ass did they put that suggestion out of?

Now Firefox doesn't recognize myeloma either, but its suggestions - melanoma, melodrama - are a hell of a lot closer than milkman.

If I had followed Microsoft's suggestion, I would have 'multiple milkman', which reminded me of this:

Microsoft FAIL! But really, is anyone surprised?

Baseball Dance Off

2009-11-16T21:54:00.003+10:00

You're a college guy who plays baseball and you're suddenly facing a FIVE HOUR rain delay. What do you do? If you play for UConn or USF you do this:

I'm sorry I haven't been around... my only explanation is that I'm giving so much energy to work and learning I've just got nothing left. As I said to The Hermit, I'm feeling very passive these days. Just bare with me (hee - I originally typed that as 'bear with me'... Freudian slip?) and enjoy the fine dance off above, knowing that some people still know how to make the most out of a bad situation.

Fun With Typos

2009-11-05T21:05:00.002+10:00

I'm doing my module work and as you might imagine have come across a few typos. Most of them don't make any sense at all, some are harmless but a couple have made me laugh out loud.

My oncological emergencies module last month got all Shakespearian on me when it said “...goal is to shrink thee tumour”. I started having visions of Hamlet in the personal protective equipment I've got to wear when giving chemotherapy.

I'm now doing my chemotherapy module. Learning the trillion types of chemotherapy is hard enough with having conspiracy theories like this thrown in - “... they can be used to debunk tumours...” I knew it! Cancer is just a giant con by Big Pharma to rob you blind (heh... I originally typed “rib you blind”)!

So work is going well. I've been doing some interesting stuff and learning so much. The nurses have all been good to me and I seem to be coping pretty well at this point. It's nice to know all the nursing skills I've acquired in the past are still there, just sleeping (so to speak) and allowing me to build on them.

But these moments of unintentional levity make it a lot more fun.

It's Time to Hit the Music

2009-11-02T23:12:00.003+10:00

I was feeling a little wistful and nostalgic in my exhaustion tonight, and wanted to share this clip of one of my absolute favourite shows when I was a kid:

What was your favourite show when you were knee high to a grasshopper?

Stateside

2009-10-31T08:10:00.001+10:00

Yesterday afternoon I spent a great deal of money that we don't quite have yet and booked our tickets back to the U.S. of A for a visit.

It's not any time soon, but if I didn't book and pay for the tickets yesterday it would cost us both arms and a leg as opposed to the mere single arm and leg it's costing us now. We'll be there from 15 June to 17 July; that is to say we'll be in LA on the 15th and leaving LA on the 17th. I don't have the rest of the trip booked yet.

That sounds kinda silly, but we have a rough plan of spending half the time in Massachusetts - mainly on the Cape with Mother and Father Hermit and some time closer to Boston to see my rellies and friends - and half the time in New Mexico with Momma Mooselet and Shepster, with maybe a side trip out to the Grand Canyon (depends if we can grow another arm to pay for it). My brother Gabe commented over on Facebook when I posted the news that he might fly out to NM as well when we're there.

So why the Air Pacific plane? Well that's how we're flying, through Fiji. They had the best deal that I couldn't pass up, even if it means a 5 hour layover. When you're flying 5 people you'll cop that amount of time to save well over $1k. Besides, there are worse places to layover than Fiji.

Finally, who's coming? All of us minus Miss Thing - she's there now, after all, and has been back more often than I have. If anyone has any tips on how to survive the long trip with Clive, I'd be appreciative. A large rubber mallet doesn't count.

I'll give people the details on where I am when I have the specific dates so we can try and see each other, if you want. I can't make any promises except for family - grandparents need to see their grandchildren, especially Clive who has never meet his grandparens - but I will do my best.

So stock up on peanut butter cups, we're coming back!!!!!

Photo Friday

2009-10-30T06:56:00.001+10:00

A few months ago we had Her Majesty's 6th birthday party at a local indoor play centre. Naturally all the kids had a blast, but how did Miss Thing and Sparky cope with many ankle biters about?

Yeah, just fine thanks!

Cheese and Wine

2009-10-21T12:55:00.001+10:00

Ok, that's it. No more of this:

No more whining about never having any time. No more sour grapes. I've had a gutful of my own bitching, so I can only imagine what you're feeling. I'm taking my own advice - suck it up, buttercup. Swallow some cement and harden the fuck up. It's time for some positivity!

Although that glass of white sure looks tempting... is noon too early to indulge? Especially when Clive is home and I'm waiting for the washer repairman to turn up? Okay...

UPDATE: Quick, remind me of my vow of positivity! The washer repairman just left and my washer needs two new pumps. I need some wine.

FAR

2009-10-20T21:00:00.003+10:00

I start my day with the best of intentions - I will get caught up on the blogs in my feed reader (current count: 700+), I will do more work on my work modules, I will update my blog. But if the path to hell is paved with good intentions, then my path is paved with solid gold and is very well lit. Here it is just after 9pm and all I want to do is go to bed. Of course this is the first minute I've had to myself all day, and this is the case whether I'm working or not.

I should point out that I haven't been to work yet this week. Clive was struck with what has since been diagnosed as a post-viral rash. It was one mild virus as it caused nary a sniffle or fever but left an all-over rash on Friday that had as all going "Huh?" The GP cheerfully informed me it was nothing serious, which was good, but that Clive had to stay home yesterday and today (5 days from when it first appeared). My boss was very understanding and happily gave me the time off, which was just as well as The Hermit took a tumble from his motorcycle yesterday on his way home - he's fine, if really really REALLY sore; the bike is another story - and would have been in no shape to look after Clive today.

My point is I'm worn out like an old dishrag - and probably look like one too. So instead of the incredibly profound and thoughtful insight from Yours Truly, I'm leaving you with this profound, thoughtful yet fun clip. "FAR", by George Hrab, is the theme song written for the 365 Days of Astronomy podcast. Enjoy:

Saturday Skinfest

2009-10-18T07:02:00.003+10:00

When I finally got time for myself last night, I collapsed onto the couch with a Diet Coke and a packet of Grain Waves (do you have these in the US? They are sooooo good). 10 minutes later I fell asleep watching the Crime Investigation channel during a program about the BTK killer. I find that disturbing, that I could pass out during a program about a serial killer.

So without further ado, here's the Skinfest:

Johathan Thurston, are you crying out "Shrinkage!" That looks cold.

I can't figure out what Scott Prince looks so uncomfortable. Sunshine, pool... maybe it's winter as well?

Kurt Gidley does the Robot dance.

Marisa Miller and her never ending legs.

More skin next week!

Photo Friday

2009-10-16T18:37:00.001+10:00

Tell me what you see in this picture - from my Alma Park Zoo 2002 files. It takes a minute or so to figure it out:

Blog Action Day 2009

2009-10-15T11:30:00.002+10:00

My good bloggy friend Jen has her blogging fingers in many blog pies, including the blog Eco Women: Protectors of the Planet!. Aside from challenging myself to using the word "blog" in as many different ways as I could, I agreed to take part in Blog Action Day 2009 on climate change.

I know some people aren't certain about climate change. They say that humans are nothing more than fleas on a dog, that this is part of a natural cycle and nothing we mere mortals do will amount to more than a flea bite. I do know that if you get enough fleas on a dog, however, you will kill the dog. Put another way - let's say I have a problem with my brain, so I ask 100 neurologists what's wrong and how to fix it. 99 of them tell me it's serious and I need to take some action NOW but 1 tells me it's nothing to worry about. Who am I going to listen to? I'm not an expert on the inner workings of the grey matter betwixt my ears, nor am I an expert on the climate. If a majority of those who are experts tell me their opinion of the problem, I should take their word for it and not the minority who tell me not to worry.

But it can all so overwhelming. Today I'm going to give you two very simple tips on how you can do just a bit to help. And like killing the fleas on the dog, a lot of people doing a little bit can make a difference. Even if you're still not convinced that humans are having a negative effect on our environment, these two tips can work for you as they will save you some coin. And who doesn't like saving some money?

Tip 1: Google the phrase "solar power clothes dryer" (or just click the link) and check out the first result - that's right, that'd be Yours Truly. Or at least it is off my Google... anyway, I did that post back in 2007 as part of my ongoing quest to bring my new Australian lifestyles to friends and family back in the States. It is very common here in my corner of Australia (that'd be Brisbane, in Southeast Queensland) for people to hang their washing outside to dry. The matching washer/dryer set that are ubiquitous in the US is virtually unheard of here. Since I did my original post, The Hermit has installed another washing line so I can hang up oodles of washing - and 70+ metres is still not enough sometimes. Stop making excuses why you can't hang your washing up. Homeowners Association won't let you, or you live in a cold climate? String some lines in your laundry room, or your basement, or even your bathroom. Invest in a mobile drying rack or two so you can hang stuff up inside. Afraid your neighbours will talk? Be a trailblazer and loudly proclaim you're being eco-friendly and just what are they doing to reduce their carbon footprint? If you don't want them seeing your knickers, hang them up inside. Not only does hanging your clothes reduce your greenhouse gas emissions - dryers can emit more than 3 kilograms (that's over 6 1/2 pounds) of greenhouse gases PER LOAD - but your clothes will last longer and you will deny the electric company part of your hard earned paycheck. How can that be bad?

Tip 2: Brisbane has just come out of a severe drought. How severe? Our combined dam levels dipped as low at 16.72% in August 2007 for a population of over 1.6 million. While our dams have now recovered - we are currently at 74% - many, if not all, households underwent a major rethink on how we used water. You can upgrade all your appliances to newer, water efficient ones but not everyone has that kind of money. Low-flow shower heads are inexpensive and easy to install, but there's a way to make them even more efficient. Limit your shower to 4 minutes. And the easiest way to do this is to find a shower song. Find a song that is roughly 4 minutes long and play it as you shower. This is one of my personal favourites:

No, really it is. My love of Duran Duran is well documented. And while the original video is awesome, the embedding is disabled. So be amazed at 80s New Romantic, er, fashion...

There are a few other tricks I'd recommend to keep under your 4 minute limit. No shaving in the shower, or toothbrushing, or anything other than hair and body washing. If you use a conditioner, put it in, wash your body and then rinse your hair and body at the same time. And it's okay to put on a few dance moves while showering to your tunes, although I wouldn't recommend dancing like Simon LeBon - you may dislocate something on the slippery tile. Not only do you not waste a precious resource, you save money on your water bill.

These tips cost you nothing but a little thought and time and they help not only the environment but your hip pocket. Embrace the great Australian tradition of having a go at something new, and then come back and tell me your shower song.

And while you're here - why not leave a comment on my 4th Blogiversary post? If you do you'll go into the draw for a prize yet to be determined, but I swear it'll be good. Leave a comment there by 9pm Friday Brisbane time to be eligible.

Possum Pick-Up LIne

2009-10-15T05:54:00.002+10:00

I couldn't possibly go past this one. I tried, but honestly how could I not share it?

Most of this article from this morning's Courier Mail is about the high fire danger in SE Queensland and the number of fires we have had. However, it started out with this bit:

A WILFLIFE ranger taking a well-earned break from a backburning operation got a huge shock to find a cheeky little possum hiding in his trousers.

NSW National Parks and Wildlife Service ranger Al McDonough said he thought the eastern pygmy possum had gone straight past him.

"I couldn't believe it when this tiny little creature crawled out of my pocket during the lunch break," he said.

The possum was placed in a tree hollow after a hard day's firefighting near Sydney.

You know what's coming, don't you? Say it with me, folks. "Is that a possum down your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

Now that I've had my immature moment for the day, I'd best continue to get ready for work. Hope it made you smile,too.

A Funny

2009-10-14T20:49:00.004+10:00

I find I have a case of bloggers block, so please enjoy this clip from my new favourite comedian, Dara O'Briain:

I have issues with people who take the Bible literally, who want to teach creationism in science classrooms, so folks like Dara - who can make us laugh over it - are awesome.

Have you left a comment on my 4th Blogiversary post? If you do you'll go into the draw for a prize yet to be determined, but I swear it'll be good. Leave a comment there by 9pm Friday Brisbane time to be eligible.

October 12

2009-10-12T11:35:00.000+10:00

Guess what today is? Monday? Well, yes... but what else? The day that Christopher Columbus first made landfall in The Bahamas, even though the dumbass thought he was in South Asia? Yeah, but what else? When America's first insane asylum opened in 1773 under the name 'Persons of Insane and Disordered Minds'? Well of course that, but what else? The day that Charles Macintosh sold the first raincoat in Scotland in 1823. That goes without saying, but what... oh forget it. I'll just tell you:

IT'S MY 4th BLOGIVERSARY!!!!!

I don't know the average life span of a personal blog like mine, but I suspect 4 years is longer than average. It's not the greatest corner of the internet, but it's my little corner. I want to thank everyone who stops by and reads, or drools for those who come for the Skinfest, for those who leave comments, for those who have become my friends and remained my friends. I don't know if I would have continued for all this time if it wasn't for you.

So let's do something! Leave a comment here by 9pm Friday (Brisbane time) and we'll have another drawing for a prize. I admit I don't have one just yet because I only realized this weekend that my blogiversary was today, but I'll have something Aussie-themed and cool.

I'm off to have a piece of blogiversary cake.

Nitpicker, That's Me

2009-10-11T11:23:00.000+10:00

On Friday I spent my work day at the medical library of the Large Public Hospital That Employs Me, working on my self-directed learning modules (hereafter referred to as 'modules'). That I get paid to do this is totally sweet, and that I am trusted enough to go to the library to do this (I did check in at lunchtime with my manager, which consisted of me popping my head into her office and saying "I'm here!") is very cool. And I really did sit in the library for the better part of 8 hours - with time out for lunch, a fire alarm and a trip to the uniform shop after lunch to collect two pairs of pants that had been on back order since July (and which still weren't in but they transferred over to me two pairs that had been waiting to be picked up for 5+ months).

Now the library isn't the hospital's library per se, but is run by a Large University who has lots of medical and nursing students plus offices on campus and a satellite branch next door to the Large Public Hospital. As an employee of Queensland Health I get library privileges - which will save me lots of time and money in my studies as I don't have a lot of oncology books/journals in my personal library at Chez Mooselet.

So there I was, coming back with from my lunch break and weighed down by my ginormous bag that had my modules in it when the new display they were putting in the library window caught my eye - Medicine in the Crusades. Now anyone who knows me would know I would be drawn to this like moths to a bug zapper. And it was pretty interesting, with factoids and timelines and a few photos to show just how primitive medicine was and how diseases influenced the Crusades.

Then this factoid caught my eye: "Henry VI was planning to go on Crusade when he was struck down by malaria in 1197." And I stared at it, trying to make sense of it because every fibre in my history-geek being said this was wrong. Richard I was king in 1197, not Henry VI. Henry VI never went on Crusade, they ended in the 13th century and Henry was king in the 15th century. And he didn't die of malaria, he died whilst imprisoned by Edward IV (and was likely murdered by Edward or his supporters). But the library did this display, and librarians are super smart, right? I walked back to my chair, puzzled.

The puzzlement didn't last, as a quick Google search sorted it out. The factoid was referring to Henry VI of Germany, who did indeed die of malaria in 1197 as he prepared to go off on Crusade. All good, right? Well, no. I went back out to read the factoid sheet again, and saw that kings from other countries were labelled as such. I think it's pretty reasonable to conclude that when ones head of state is a monarch such as in Australia, then when a king is listed without a country you think he's from England. I stewed on this all afternoon, until it was time for me to go home. Do I say something to the librarian or not? I walked out without saying anything, since it was factually correct, but didn't get more than 5 steps before I changed my mind and went back inside.

I apologized for being "nit-picky", but did tell her the factoid was correct while not being clear about which Henry VI they were talking about. She was very nice about it and wrote it down, and even thanked me for pointing it out. But I still felt that I was overstepping myself a little bit. I will pop around early this week to see if they changed it.

What would you have done if you were me - if you knew a factoid on display was accurate but unclear. Would you speak up or let it go?

Saturday Skinfest

2009-10-10T18:12:00.003+10:00

The Hermit is in the kitchen with Her Majesty and Clive making the usual Saturday night hot dogs, so I thought I'd take these few moments to post the Skinfest... ON TIME! Hey, are you all right there? Sorry if I scared you.

If Brett White comes with the iPod, I need a new one.

I could also use one of these. Every girl needs a Craig Wing.

I always wondered about these two (Billy Slater and Cooper Cronk doing... something I'm sure is perfectly innocent.)

This is for real... Marge Simpson on the cover of Playboy. Hubba hubba.

More skin next week. I'm off to nosh!

Just Can't Swallow This

2009-10-09T22:41:00.003+10:00

I'm off tomorrow morning for a pedicure - one of the few indulgences I don't feel too guilty about. I got a voucher at Her Majesty's birthday party for a beauty spa, and the amount just covered a pedicure. I thought I'd give it a go since I was unhappy at my old place. Not only did my toes turn out great, but I actually fell asleep during it. I'd never had a pedicure that I got to lie down during, so I was pretty happy and so made a repeat appointment.

I knew this place also offered a bunch of other treatments I would never go for, from facial peels and body sculpting, but I found it pretty easy to ignore them. But then I got a their "newsletter" in the post last week with this nonsense:

"Body detox therapy creates a flow of electrons, which imparts a bio-energetic field into water, this travels thorough the body via the feet, stimulating circulation. This regulates both the supply of oxygen and nutrients to the tissues and aids the proper excretion of waste products (toxins) out of the body. The body is therefore more likely to be healthy, allowing it to restore the body to natural healing energy levels."

What. The. FUCK?! I'm sorry, but that just doesn't make any sense at all. On any level. It gets better, or worse depending on your viewpoint...

"The recipient immerses their feet in a bowl of water containing the body detox array. Salt is added and the therapist checks the water level. The recipient sits back & relaxes for 30 minutes whilst the body detox equipment completes its treatment cycle. Circulation is stimulated, allowing cells to release toxins and re-balancing begins in the body. The ionised water reacts and begins to darken, showing excreted toxins and lymphatic fat. The effects of the therapy continue in the days following treatment, as additional toxins are excreted in urine and stool."

I can't even begin to explain how FUCKING stupid this is. I stick my feet in salty water for 30 minutes and I'm on the road to well being? "The body detox equipment"- it's a bowl of water! "Lymphatic fat"? Even if I wasn't a nurse and knew there was no fat in the lymph system, I know there are no lymph nodes in my feet. So how is this supposed to work? By what mechanism? By sticking my feet in salty water with a sprinkle of "body detox array", whatever the hell that is? And then the leftover "toxins" travel from my feet back to my kidney's so I can wee them out, or back to my bowel so I can have a nice toxin-filled BM a few days later?

But wait, there's more!

"The symptoms of many common ailments can be combated through this treatment including: Arthritis, Insomnia, Circulation, Headaches, Metabolism, Skin Problems, Menstrual Pain, Your well-being, Liver and kidney function, Balance in the whole body..."

It slices! It dices! It makes julienne fries! It's the greatest thing EVER!

"A course of 6 treatments, over 3 to 6 weeks is recommended for optimum self-detoxification."

A fool and her money are soon parted, and I am no fool. This is absolute 100% BULLSHIT. There is no way it can work, from a physiological standpoint. But since this place gives a pretty sweet pedicure, I'm going to close my eyes to the overwhelming woo (this is not the only stupid treatment they offer, just one of the silliest) by slapping a wheat pack over my eyes, curl up under a blanket and grab a nap while they make my feet purty for summer.

Pink toenail polish, hold the detox.

Photo Friday

2009-10-09T22:35:00.001+10:00

From the old website files, a white peacock at the Alma Park Zoo: