tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176651002009-10-14T12:48:14.786+11:00Looking at Australia through the many, many holes in my cheap clothing.Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1146904293097900612006-05-06T18:05:00.002+10:002009-09-15T14:17:55.634+10:00

When I started this blog, Derelict was pretty supportive, throwing up the links on his various sites, giving me a little talk-up.He's been threatening to send me a HoleyPhoto for a while now, but he's been hijacked by gin-based beverages and animal tranquilizers. Finally, he hit the mark and got me a picture taken through a black T-shirt; a picture of an all-night dance freak fest called Intox 3,

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1146699103347188462006-05-04T09:12:00.000+10:002006-05-04T09:31:43.510+10:00

In January 2003, I went to China after I finished studying in Montreal.I went to China, ostensibly, to have a cultural experience... truthfully, though, I went to China because I knew it was going to be weird. Weirder than Canada. More interesting than Canada.And it was. I'd like to say something formulaic, like it opened my eyes, or changed my perspective or, even, that I *shudder* found myself.

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1146534215013950222006-05-02T11:36:00.000+10:002006-05-02T11:43:35.026+10:00

This is the last email I sent out. Instead of waxing on about the beauty of China and the hospitality, I decided to go full-out comedy and write this piece on Hot Girls and Studly Guys.Parts of it are pretty stereotypical, but it's all done for a laugh.WARNING: This email may not be suitable for you. Yeah, you.2) Where are all the Hot Chicks and the Studly Dudes in China?Yes, where?It took a

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1146447959914273762006-05-01T11:37:00.000+10:002006-05-01T11:45:59.940+10:00

Sigh... this letter was written in China, saved in my 'Drafts' folder... when I arrived in Sydney, I had a chance to polish it up and send it out. My last days in China were a maelstrom of food, fun, excitement and putrid bureaucracy. By this time, I had spent so much time in China, that it seemed second nature. When I arrived in Australia, though, that's when I felt alien.This email recounts

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1145317808777790882006-04-18T09:43:00.000+10:002006-04-18T09:50:08.796+10:00

A short email, outlining what was going on in Sichuan. Actually, Sichuan was one of my favourite places in China, and I was moved by the incredible beauty of the landscapes. At the time of this email, though, I was suffering from acute gastrointestinal distress, and had no words to describe my experiences, save for 'clenched' and 'agony'.Rupa and Rittu, the dirty Montreal twins, met me in China

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1144626295297847532006-04-10T09:39:00.000+10:002006-04-10T09:44:55.320+10:00

I wrote this letter from Shanghai, kicking around before I left China for good. It's about Kevin, the Insane Chinese Teacher. I still get steamed thinking about his lunacy, but it brings to mind an important point: Insanity is not racist.The first day in Shanghai, I had an incredible bowl of noodles from a Chinese Muslim joint. The kidworking the place rolled the noodles out by hand, and I ate

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1143498928569366142006-03-28T09:31:00.000+11:002006-03-28T09:44:15.126+11:00

Oh, God.Just posting this letter reminds me of that horrible, horrible pain in that dirty hospital, swamped by the smell of fear and terror.This happened to me a full year after living in China, and reinforced why it's good to live in a 1st world country.I feel that after more than a year in China, things don't shock me as much anymore - or I've lost the ability to be shocked. In fact, it's the

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1143498637985285112006-03-28T09:25:00.000+11:002006-03-28T09:30:38.003+11:00

I'm much happier in Australia, where the weather is always nice enough to justify NOT going to the gym.Happy Chinese New Year.Double Happiness to you on this Spring Festival.I should start this letter off by confessing that, for Spring Festival, I ate bull penis.It's not something I really wanted. I went to eat Hot Pot with my friends, and this girl, Summer, was paying for the meal. She asked me

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1142984135131217512006-03-22T10:29:00.000+11:002006-03-22T10:35:35.190+11:00

Ah, Christmas in China is so carol-free and relaxing. Compared to the anxiety and rush of consumerism in Canada, it was postively refreshing to have a non-celebration.On Christmas Day, I took some Chinese friends to a foreigner's Christmas party. I told my Chinese friends how Christmas is the most important holiday, brings the best out in people, etc. Of course it's all garbage. We're all as

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1142204836950199332006-03-13T09:57:00.000+11:002006-03-13T10:07:58.576+11:00

Some people have expressed doubts about my location... some people actually have the audacity to suggest that I'm just holed up in a cabin in Whistler, and I'm just sending email out pretending that I'm in China.Well, now I have pictorial proof. My old American roommate, Adam, sent me the digital pictures from our trip to Xinjiang, and now you, too, can share in the dizzying highs and the

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1141605010548595042006-03-06T11:23:00.000+11:002006-03-06T11:30:10.566+11:00

Looking back on this miserable bus ride, I've forgotten most of the horrors that inspired this email. Wait, let me rephrase that - I remember everything that happened, down to the smallest detail, but the emotional impact of it all has dissipated. Besides, after that bus ride, we had a pretty good time, even though I used some of the worst bathrooms in the Eastern world...You may remember my

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1141014028541803562006-02-27T15:12:00.000+11:002006-02-27T15:20:29.926+11:00

At the end of August 2004, I took advantage of the break between semesters to go on a mini-trip. My roommate Adam had enthusiastically recommended Tai Shan, one of the sacred Chinese mountains. It would prove to be a breathtaking, life-changing journey - in more ways than one, and was soul-scrubbingly, body-breakingly rich in experience. Someone in Australia was watching a movie about China

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1140576076390733662006-02-22T13:29:00.000+11:002006-02-22T13:41:16.440+11:00

This letter achieved some notoriety among my friends in Canada. Several of them came out to China, for various reasons, and when they arrived, they all wanted to see the famed 'Chinese visors'.It's a hot, muggy day in Dalian - the entire northern province of Liaoning is thick with foliage from the higher-than-average rainfall this summer.I think it's great. The rain here is incredible and

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1140041007363236182006-02-16T08:57:00.000+11:002006-02-16T09:04:03.943+11:00

Despite the tantalising title of this email, I'm not sure I had anything interesting to say at this point.I do know that I was going insane with lust after all this time without a girlfriend. The summer heat drew me into a frenzy, and I went on dating rampages, getting phone numbers and going out for dinner with as many girls as I could find.Some months before, I was cutting squid to cook on

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1139524803071875932006-02-10T09:32:00.000+11:002006-02-10T09:41:20.040+11:00

My first few months in China were months of wonderment, awe and simple pleasures. By July, I had been in China for nearly half a year, and was starting to come face-to-face with some of the gritty truths. As a result, this letter is one of the first with some venomous spite. It wouldn't be the last, though...July 2004It's a hot, muggy day in Dalian - the entire northern province of Liaoning

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1139114244014258262006-02-05T15:27:00.000+11:002006-02-06T15:54:44.060+11:00

I sent this letter home as spring was making its piercing entry into Northern China. Just getting into the swing of things, I was learning Chinese at a reasonable rate and was getting accustomed to life in China.Canada was far from my mind and I began to really get out there and do my thang...June 2004Spring is an amazing time to be in Dalian...one of the native trees here bloom into a shower of

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1138753598593969712006-02-01T11:18:00.000+11:002006-02-06T15:54:17.516+11:00

I'm not sure what happened to Letter #4... I can only assume it was cast off into the internet, and nothing bit as it drifted away.This letter actually drew criticism from Johnny Yu, who said it wasn't as funny as the last one, and claimed I was falling into a rut. I took his screeching voice seriously, and changed the rhythm of my letters after that.Also, I mistakenly stated that homosexuality

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1138488846701913662006-01-29T09:47:00.000+11:002006-02-06T15:53:50.796+11:00

This letter I sent home in February. We had a break for Spring Festival, and I had just arrived in China. I didn't know any Chinese, and I had no idea what was going on. Another foreign teacher, Jason, was going on a trip to Dandong, a small city on the border of China-N.Korea, and I went with him.Remember, these letters are un-edited, so the sentiments expressed in this letter are what I was

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1138158528965797072006-01-25T14:03:00.000+11:002006-02-06T15:53:28.740+11:00

A copy of a email I sent to my friends and family in Canada while I was in China in 2004.February 2004I guess the best way to convey the sensation of being in China is to relate a little experience I had here, one weekend when the sun was shining, and unlike Canada, the ground was completely free of snow.I was hiking up a small mountain with another Canadian, he being tall of height and thin of

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1137969375206913812006-01-23T09:31:00.000+11:002006-01-24T13:49:33.040+11:00

When are people going to learn that clowns are neither funny nor encouraging? I think it would be reasonable to assume that 1 in 4 people have a terrible fear of clowns, and this entrance to the amusement park in Melbourne takes this fear and puts extra mustard on it.Really, how sinister is that face? And walking through the mouth, those sharp, flesh-hungry teeth poised above you... if you say

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1137631396542044962006-01-19T11:38:00.000+11:002006-01-19T11:43:16.566+11:00

I am a fool.In two of my most recent posts, Van de Graff Sphere and Van de Graff - Addendum, I incorrectly called the 'Orb' a Van de Graff Sphere.A Van de Graff generator is shown on the right, and is used for generating large amounts of static charge, large enough to cause arcing through the air.The thing I saw, is an 'Orb', and is completely safe to touch.I am Jack's humble little

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1137448892011826532006-01-17T08:38:00.000+11:002006-01-17T09:15:15.716+11:00

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to produce a picture and article this week since two friends from Montreal are here in Sydney, sleeping on my floor. One Mr. Santiago Garcia-Rejon and one Mr. Michael Zwetkow (the above picture is from his car design site) are enjoying the grey skies and non-stop rain of Sydney.We saw the Opera House. We saw the Harbour Bridge. We agreed not to look at anymore

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1136954676593522742006-01-11T15:13:00.000+11:002006-01-11T15:45:56.993+11:00

In my last post, I described my trip to Newfoundland with the Alberta U-21 representative rugby team. We were there to represent Alberta in the national U-21 rugby championship, but I was there hoping that I'd make love to many beautiful women.It's not easy meeting attractive women, especially when you're notably uncharming, but I tried. Me and the rest of the rugby guys 'flirted' with waitresses

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1136794729780977412006-01-09T19:04:00.000+11:002006-01-09T22:05:53.716+11:00

The Van de Graff generator is the archetypical symbol of the power of electricity, and is a beautiful demonstration of how artistic elemental phenomena can be.Most people, when they see the purple-blue streaks of electricity arcing towards their hand, think of mad scientists and Yahoo Serious. Not me. I think of all those free ions zipping around, searching so desperately for a mate. Until they

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17665100.post-1136515988291017672006-01-06T13:47:00.000+11:002006-01-06T13:53:08.323+11:00

This week's HoleyPhoto was taken when I was stuck in the rain. It doesn't rain very often in Sydney, you know, with all the glorious, un-Canadian weather and all.Even when it does rain, it's kind of laughable, with the dark clouds rolling over the city, only to have a slight sprinkle for 5 minutes, and then bright sunshine. It's like a old man threatening to pee in your pool, only to have him

Cibbuanohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06699916749080010975noreply@blogger.com0