Wind In The Wire

I guess this makes it official

2009-06-04T00:34:00.002-05:00

Good times, Texas-style

2009-03-02T20:45:00.001-06:00

Last week was "Fat Tuesday", the traditional day before Ash Wednesday when Mardi Gras is celebrated in many places around the world. And how does Sutherland's Hardware apparently believe we observe the day down here in Texas?

Why, with hogs and high-tensile barb wire, of course! Laissez les bon temps rouler!!

Blatant ripoff

2009-02-19T17:02:00.001-06:00

Much to my chagrin, the creative drought continues over here at Chez Toast. So until I can come up with some decent original material, I am reduced to ripping off other people's blog entries and reposting them. That's right, I have no shame, people.

Today's unwilling victim of my plagiarism has long been one of my favorite reads, The Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas, from whom I steal the following brilliant summation of the latest episode in the Terminator series, Terminator Salvation (due for release on May 21st), as well as the entire T-franchise:

The studio is marketing it as a sequel AND a prequel, but really it's just the simple tale of a boy named John Connor who grows up, goes back in time, grows old, tells his younger self to send his best friend back in time so he can be his father, sends a terminator back in time to protect himself, forgets to warn the terminator that he went back in time, sends his mother back in time to lecture herself about her cheesy wardrobe, and then goes back in time again to remind himself where he left his favorite Clay Aiken album all those years ago.

Then, he sends his younger self back in time to send his even younger self forward in time to obtain DNA to clone himself and start the whole process over again. It's really a very simple story.

Of course, one more of these Terminator sequel/prequels and I'll be looking for a way to send myself back in time to warn James Cameron to change the script to have the kid's mom snuff it in the first film. That'll save each of us about fifty dollars.

The movie stars Christian Bale, who recently made big news by going apeshit with a profane tirade aimed at his director of photography for accidentally wandering onto the T4 set. Check out this parody of the incident starring Stephen Colbert and some obscure comedian whose name escapes me. Funny stuff.

Piece of my heart

2009-02-14T12:58:00.000-06:00

Anyone who's been here for a while knows that I'm not exactly a big fan of Valentine's Day. I think it's crass commercialism to set aside one day to commemorate love, romance, and relationships -- something which should be done every day of the year. Instead of pleasantly surprising someone you care about, the day creates a gifting expectation, implying that you don't really love your partner unless you give them a card, flowers, candy, a cute stuffed animal, or something similar. Worse, Valentine's Day makes many single people feel abnormal, lonely, and ostracized if they don't (or choose not to) have a "valentine" in their life.

Therefore, I was amused to recently find this song while doing a Google search on the holiday:

I Hate Valentine's Day
by Jewel

Valentine's Day
Wish I had a sweetheart
It's Valentine's Day
Didn't even get a stinkin' card
It's Valentine's Day
I just have to say
I hate Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day
And I didn't get no chocolate
It's Valentine's Day
If I had a heart I'd hock it
It's Valentine's Day
All I have to say
I hate Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day
And I hope it finds you healthy
It's Valentine's Day
I'm glad your stinkin' girlfriend's wealthy
It's Valentine's Day
I just love to say
I hate fuckin' Valentine's Day

Awwww...isn't that sweet?

Anyway, for this particular Valentine's Day, Mrs. Toast and I have chosen to compromise. Since we've been married for (mumble mumble)-something years, we're no longer exactly heavy-breathing romantics, but we do like to at least acknowledge our relationship. So we've decided to share a heart-shaped pizza from our local Papa Murphy's (which, BTW, I think the Janis Joplin song would make a perfect advertisement for) tonight for dinner, and then snug in at home with a movie on DVD.

You know you've got it, if it makes you feel good.

The end of an error

2009-01-20T09:49:00.002-06:00

It's the dawning of a new day, and as I watch today's historic events with awe I want to say not just "God bless America" but "God bless planet Earth." I feel cautiously optimistic that after the blunders and hubris of the past eight years, this nation is finally about to step forward as a global partner to begin finding solutions to some of the many problems that we all face together.

Yes, we can.

Shattered illusions

2009-01-09T09:32:00.001-06:00

One of the reasons we moved to this small town from the Big City was because we were sick of crime. Our apartment in Houston was broken into twice, and the second time the mofo's got thousands of dollars worth of electronics and recording equipment, including my cherished vintage Gibson Les Paul sunburst guitar. It was irreplaceable, and I literally cried for weeks after it was stolen.

But for nearly the last twenty years now, we've lived in a community where everyone respects their neighbor's property, where you can go out during the day leaving your doors and windows unlocked, secure in the knowledge that no low-life scumbag is going to enter your home and take your shit.

Or so we thought, until yesterday.

I frequently nap during the day; with no fixed work schedule since I've been disabled, my sleeping/waking hours tend to get totally out of whack at times, and I often stay up until 4 or 5 AM, grabbing a few zz's during the afternoon to compensate before Mrs. Toast comes home about 5 PM. So I was deep in dreamland about 2 or 3-ish yesterday afternoon when I was jarred only semi-awake by the ring of the front doorbell. Since I was expecting a UPS delivery, I assumed they would just leave the package on the front porch like they usually did, and drifted back to sleep.

When I got up about an hour later and walked into the living room, I was quite surprised to notice that one of our front windows was wide open without the usual screen in place, and all three cats were missing. Since we never let them go outdoors, this freaked me out and my first priority was to find them and get them back inside. Fortunately, they had not wandered far and I was able to gather them up fairly quickly. The next thing was to try and figure out how the window got open. That's when I noticed my wallet (which had been on the kitchen table) was gone, along with my mp3 player and a couple of other small items.

I wish I could describe the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realized that someone, apparently thinking that the unanswered doorbell indicated that no one was home, had entered my house while I was sleeping, grabbed a few items, perhaps even looked in on me in the bedroom to realize there was someone there after all, then quickly got the hell out. This probably explains why more stuff was not taken, including this very laptop I am now typing on (which, sitting in plain sight, would have been a major catastrophe), as well as our stereo system and new TV. Indeed, the police officer who took the burglary report said I should consider myself lucky, as if I had happened to come out and confront the perp(s) in the act, I could have gotten hurt, or worse. As it was, I only lost a modest amount of cash and will have the hassle of having to cancel all my credit cards, get new drivers license and medical insurance cards, etc. Things could have been much worse.

But the purpose of this post is not so much to bitch and moan, but rather to attempt to make lemonade out of lemons. So lest you think it couldn't happen to you, as I did, let me pass on a few tips (learned the hard way!) that may save you some grief later on down the line:

1. Make photocopies of every credit card or whatever else you carry in your wallet or purse, or digital pictures of them, or at the very least write down the card numbers along with the customer service contacts for each. First of all, if something happens, you will know exactly what was lost. Also, the police will want to include in their report the full 16-digit numbers of any cards that were taken, and most statements these days (whether online or paper) include only the last four digits of your card numbers for security. I found it can take a crowbar to pry your own full credit card number from customer service. With Discover, it wasn't until a 2nd-level supervisor had me put the police officer on the phone that she would divulge the numbers. Keep these paper copies in a safe place, and keep them updated regularly as your cards expire and are replaced.

2. Inventory your home electronics and other valuables. Take a picture (and record the make, model and serial number) of every TV set, radio, stereo, portable mp3 player, camera, and everything else you own. Again, knowing exactly what you have can be invaluable if any of it is lost. If you have homeowners insurance, most companies will not process a claim without detailed information about the item, including serial numbers.

3. Password-protect your computer, both with a Windows logon password, and also individually encrypt any particularly private data you may have on your hard drive. It may seem like a hassle to enter your password every time you start up, but you will be glad you did if your laptop should fall into the wrong hands. If you want to go the extra mile, consider using tracking software that silently "phones home" via the internet to a monitoring service if the user doesn't enter a secret keystroke combination within a minute or so after booting up. While this is a bit extreme for most people, it can pinpoint the location of a stolen laptop and might be worthwhile if you travel a lot or have really sensitive data on your machine.

4. Use a master-password program that keeps all your logon information for various websites you use in a protected database. You might want to keep this file on a removable USB thumb drive for added security. This is particularly important if you use internet banking, pay bills online, or use other web-based financial services. Then, you only have to enter one single password (which should be second nature to you so you won't forget it, yet difficult for any stranger to guess, and never, never written down anywhere) to access all of your private information. It goes without saying that you should also have a full, current backup of your computer hard drive. Many people fail to do this because it's a task that's, quite frankly, a pain in the ass. But it's cheap insurance and can save you days or weeks of frustration, not just in the event your computer is lost or stolen, but in case of hardware failure (like a drive crash) as well.

5. Consider some sort of basic intrusion alarm for your home. High-end, monitored systems are not cheap, but the peace of mind can be worth it. Some advanced systems have stealth cameras that record any suspicious activity inside or outside your home. Not everyone needs this level of protection, and good quality unmonitored do-it-yourself alarms with wireless door and window switches and infrared motion sensors can be had for around $200-250. (We're getting one of these soon.) At the very least, consider a motion detector that reacts with the sound of a barking dog. These devices scan through walls and doors and will sound off if someone gets within about 20 feet of them. The police officer told me that these are crude but fairly effective, as thieves are generally spooked by any kind of dog, and won't stick around long enough to determine if the barking is real or fake. Of course, if you already have a real dog, so much the better ... but robo-dogs don't require feeding, walking, or poop-scooping.

Needless to say I am very freaked out by this, on several levels. For one thing, I am angry at myself for my naivety, thinking that this could never happen to me. It happens to everyone, everywhere at some time or another, and not being prepared or at least aware of the danger, is simply foolish. There will be no more leaving windows open or doors unlocked here, which is something I never thought twice about before just laying down for a siesta. Of course I'm also mad as hell at whoever did this, but I'm also getting chills at the thought that some creep was skulking around my living room while I was sleeping just a few feet away. The peace of mind I used to have, that comfortable feeling of being safe and secure in my own home, has been severely battered and may take some time to recover.

Come to the dark side, we have cookies

2009-01-02T22:23:00.004-06:00

Hope everyone had a great holiday and that 2009 has gotten off to a good start for you. Here in Toasterville, our main source of excitement and entertainment has been to watch a lot of movies recently, some of them on the new TV set that Santa left under our tree. The beginning of the new year traditionally is a favorite time for pessimists to come out of the woodwork predicting the end of the world, and our movie choices this week have to some degree reflected that. How would you like your cataclysm served up? If you think the end will come in the form of an environmental catastrophe, we've seen "An Inconvenient Truth", and "The Happening" (OMG, watch out! Killer trees!), while fans of the ever-popular alien invasion scenario might prefer 1996's "Independence Day", or perhaps even the tepid new remake of the 1951 classic "The Day The Earth Stood Still", starring Keanu Reeves as an interstellar harbinger of global destruction who looks, speaks, and acts curiously like Neo from The Matrix.

The new year is also sparking major awareness and interest in the prophesies of Nostradamus and the ancient Mayans, whose Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar seems to suggest that doomsday will arrive on a very specific date. According to many, the end of life as we know it will occur on December 21, 2012. These theorists believe that the Earth will experience unprecedented disasters ranging from massive earthquakes and tsunamis to nuclear reactor meltdowns. Of course, people have been aware of these predictions for some time now, but as we turn one calendar year closer to the actual date, the hype is really beginning to take off. Go to the official website, add your name to the "Believers List" and get your End Of The World T-Shirt! Or, you might be interested in this book which includes handy checklists of survival supplies you might need. (Tip: don't forget batteries.) For those who like their gloom and doom in nice, easy to digest hour-long bite-size chunks, The History Channel's Armageddon Week not only presents a special about 2012 under the banner of "Hindsight is 20/20; foresight is 2012", but also throws in The Seven Deadly Sins for good measure.

The fact that world events have been somewhat dire of late is no doubt contributing to the ominous tone. The environment continues to deteriorate; we face global warming and other natural disasters like hurricanes and earthquakes, the economic crisis is showing no signs of letting up, and the recent escalation of tensions in the Middle East plays directly to the fears of conservative religious types who believe that the region will be Ground Zero for the coming End Times.

But I'm not going to worry about any of that now, because ... we have a new TV set! Woo-hoo! Happy New Year, people!

Coasting through the holidays

2008-12-17T16:30:00.001-06:00

I would like to thank those of you who have recently inquired about my well-being, both by email and in the comments. I am, indeed, still here and doing OK, although one would be justifiably hard-pressed to make that determination based on my lack of posting lately. I've had creative droughts before, but this one appears to be a humdinger. It's no doubt the double-whammy of my typical "holiday blues" which has dogged me most of my life, combined with the simple fact that things around here have been utterly boring and un-blogworthy for the last month or two.

During times like these, I recall when I was 22 years old and freshly out of college. I had only a vague idea of what to do with my life at that point; I knew I wanted to be in the entertainment business -- radio, TV, music, or some other kind of media -- but at the time two words that would have best described my attitude were "apathetic" and "clueless". On an extended visit to see my older sister in New York City, her husband Norman, who was then a well-respected Broadway producer with little sympathy for those with the ability but not the motivation to give their best performance, sat me down at the kitchen table for a lecture which included these words of wisdom I will remember for the rest of my life:

"Mr. Toast, it's time to get your ass in gear," he thundered. OK, he used my real name, but you get the idea.

Ever since then, when I feel like I am stalling out I remember Norman's exasperation. Having dealt with creative yet finicky people every single day, he knew I had more fire in the belly if I would just get up off my lazy ass and apply myself. He was right, and I do.

Just not this week.

So, since we appear to be on cruise control until my ass gets back in gear, let me do what any other creative type does when they're out of new material: recycle my old shit.

Mr. Toast's Mail-Order Holiday Catalog Selection

Mr. Toast's Holiday Gift Guide Part 1

Mr. Toast's Holiday Gift Guide Part 2

Hopefully the unbridled hilarity of these posts will tide you over until I can come up with something original after I'm feeling more enthusiastic and spontaneous. And that will be soon, I promise.

Because any day above ground is a good day.

On giving thanks

2008-11-26T14:00:00.005-06:00

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and I'd like to write something poignant and profound about how thankful I am to still be alive, considering that five years ago after being told I had a terminal lung illness, I would not have given you good odds on the possibility of my being here to write this today. Or how I'm thankful (and quite amazed!) that after a long and divisive election process, we're witnessing a transition of power practically unheard of in the history of American politics: the president and president-elect acting like co-presidents, consulting and cooperating on the day's biggest crises, that gives me great hope for the future of our country. Or how I'm thankful for all my online friends here, and how I wish y'all a wonderful weekend with your families and loved ones.

But I'm having a hard time latching onto the Thanksgiving holiday in a meaningful way that doesn't sound clichéd, so instead let me submit a guest commentary from someone who uses words much better than I do: Leonard Pitts, Jr. of The Miami Herald.

Because it's not just about turkey, apple pie and football. Happy Thanksgiving, folks.

###

I was crammed into a middle seat. The guy in front was practically in my lap, and I had my arms drawn in tightly as I pecked furiously on the keyboard. God glanced over. "What are you working on?" He asked.

"A column," I said. "About you, in fact."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? What did I do now?"

"Well, not you per se," I admitted. "It's about this atheist group, the American Humanist Association. They stirred up folks in Washington, D.C., recently by running a billboard on the buses. It said, 'Why believe in a god?'"

God was curious, so I passed Him the computer. Just then, the plane lurched violently. The guy next to me spilled his drink and muttered a curse. God paid no attention. When He finished reading, He passed the computer back. "That's not about me," He said. "It's about defending their right to free speech."

"Sure," I said. "What else would I do?"

God shrugged. "Why not just answer their question?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you know," He said, "you've got that Thanksgiving holiday coming. Might be appropriate to remind people of whom they're thankful to."

I considered it. "That could be a good idea," I said.

He gave me a look. "OK, OK," I said, "all your ideas are good. But you know, proving you exist is a heavy-duty philosophical chore. I suppose I could go with the complexity-of-life argument, talk about how if people see something as unremarkable as a cardboard box they assume it had a maker, but if they see something as intricately designed as a person -- or heck, an amoeba -- some folks say, Oh, it just...happened."

God was unimpressed. "I don't need you to prove I exist," He said. "I am the great I am, remember? Besides, that billboard doesn't ask for proof of my existence. It asks, why believe? Isn't that a fair question?" He gave me an expectant look.

I looked past Him, out the window. We floated above a deck of clouds, the sun falling toward the horizon, the whole world the color of gold. It was like poetry in midair. I said, "I believe because I've seen you. And because I've heard you."

The plane jolted again. Two rows behind, a baby started shrieking, hitting notes I'd have sworn were impossible for a human larynx. The man ahead of me shifted heavily in his seat. My tray table pressed hard against my stomach.

God gave a smile that I couldn't read.

"It's not all poetry in the sky," He said. "Where you see poetry, somebody else sees only a flaming ball of gas circling the earth, light refracted through crystals of ice and pollution in the air. Where you see eternity, someone else sees an ocean. Where you hear my voice, someone else hears thunder."

"What are you getting at?" I asked.

"What do you see then?" He said. "What do you hear when no one else sees or hears? When you walk in places where no one knows your name? When you curse the brokenness of your own life? When flood and famine strike the wretched and the vulnerable? When the diagnosis is cancer? Do you see me then? Do you hear me then?"

It took me a moment. "Sometimes," I said finally. "Not always." I thought about it a second, then added: "But I'm always trying."

"Why?" asked God.

I looked past Him. The sun seemed to be sinking into the clouds. The sky was growing dark. "Because nothing else makes sense to me," I said.

God smiled.

The captain announced that we were about to land. We were asked to shut down and stow our electrical equipment. The guy in front returned his seat to its full upright and locked position. The baby kept squalling. Moments later, the plane touched the tarmac. It had been an awful flight, and I was glad to be home.

"Thank God," I whispered.

"You're welcome," He said.

Musings of an entry-level life form

2008-11-18T23:47:00.003-06:00

I've always enjoyed watching Boston Legal, for many reasons; the characters (especially William Shatner as Denny Crane) are quirky and memorable, I love seeing the exterior shots of the Boston area where I grew up, and the writing is in-fucking-credible. David E. Kelly loves to rip story lines right from the headlines, and isn't afraid to skewer the likes of Big Tobacco or the pharmaceutical industry, or take on other ethical challenges like assisted suicide or neglect of military veterans -- all in a very "theater of the absurd" sort of way.

I also like that the show often espouses an unapologetically liberal point of view, and this week's episode was a classic: it featured former Saturday Night Live star Cheri Oteri as a woman fired by her boss for voting for John McCain -- not, as her boss claimed, due to her political views, but because this fact demonstrated that she was an idiot and therefore too stupid to work for him. (As you might imagine, this plot has rankled the living shit out of the right, which only makes me enjoy it more.)

In his presentation to the judge, James Spader as attorney Alan Shore makes the following argument (emphasis added):

The unassailable right to vote is the core principle of any democracy. And people have the right to cast their ballot for whomever they want– for good reasons or for bad reasons or for no reason at all. Let’s face it, your honor, we as a nation are horribly uninformed when it comes to politics ... today our news programs consist solely of sensational headlines and sound bites. People forgo newspapers for the internet, where instead of relying on credentialed journalists, they turn to these bloggers – sort of entry-level life-forms that intellectually have yet to emerge from the primordial ooze. This is how we’ve gotten the elected officials we’ve gotten.

Well.

I think I ... er ... kinda like that.

As you may know, this is the show's fifth and last season, and in fact production on the big two-hour finale was just completed last week, followed by a bittersweet wrap party Saturday night at LA's Cicada Restaurant. (Oh, to have been a fly on that wall.) I'll miss the show, but just like my other favorite legal drama "Law And Order", I'm sure it will be around in reruns for quite a while still. Let me close with a tribute to some of the show's best moments, set to a Matchbox Twenty soundtrack.

Then I'm going to go have a cigar and a scotch on the patio, and climb back into the primordial ooze.

PS: If anyone's keeping score, this entry is the 500th post since I began the blog just over three years ago. Yay me!

Breaking News

2008-11-06T10:01:00.001-06:00

DEMOCRATS STUNNED BY FAILURE TO BLOW ELECTION

On Tuesday night, just minutes after their party's longstanding tradition of losing elections lay in tatters on the ground, millions of shell-shocked Democrats stared at their television screens in disbelief, asking themselves what went right.

For Democrats, who have become accustomed to their party blowing an election even when it seemed like a sure thing, the results were a bitter pill to swallow.

The head-shaking and finger-pointing over the demise of the Democrats' losing streak, which many of the party faithful had worn like a badge of honor, reached all the way to the upper echelons of the Democratic National Committee.

"Believe me, I'm as shocked by these results as anybody," said DNC chief Howard Dean, who indicated he has received hundreds of calls from incredulous party members. "We did everything in our power to screw this thing up."

Dean pointed to several key elements the Democrats put in place to ensure defeat, ranging from "a rancorous primary campaign" to "the appointment of me."

"Somehow, despite our best efforts to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, we won," he said. "I came in here with a mandate to blow this thing and I didn't get it done."

Carol Foyler, a lifelong Democrat who owns a loom supply store in Portland, Maine, said she has been "nearly catatonic" since the election results were announced. "For the past eight years, I've fixed myself some herbal tea, turned on NPR, and ranted about the Republicans," she said. "All that has been taken from me."

Elsewhere, Sen. John McCain offered this comment on Sen. Barack Obama's victory: "My friends, I've got him just where I want him."

Source: The Borowitz Report

America Fuck Yeah

2008-11-05T10:02:00.003-06:00

I love this country.

Now what?

2008-11-04T12:56:00.002-06:00

My God, is it over yet? After countless months of campaign rhetoric, it all comes down to today: by the time you read this, chances are very good that Barack Obama will have been officially elected the 44th president of the United States. And it won't be just a narrow victory that the Republicans can steal (again) with their dirty tricks and armies of lawyers; I say it will be a freakin' landslide -- what Newsweek's Markos Moulitsas calls "the utter rejection of conservative ideology." After eight years of dwelling in darkness, folks like me can finally come out of the closet and once again breathe the sweet, fresh air in a nation where "liberal" is no longer a dirty word.

OK, so what happens next?

76 days from today when he is inaugurated, President Obama will assume the most challenging job that has probably faced any individual in modern times, and expectations for his performance are sky-high. Between the battered economy and a huge deficit at home, two wars that have stretched our armed forces perilously thin, the rise of terrorism and a decline in America's global image coupled with a changing power dynamic abroad, the man is going to have his work cut out for him. The pressures will be enormous and he could stumble, which would no doubt delight his naysayers. Thankfully, however, he will not have to deal with these issues in isolation; a crisis tends to mobilize people and bring them together, and he will have the best and brightest minds in the country available to help solve our many problems.

But for the first time in years, today I have optimism as I look forward from this historic moment. It's finally time for the change and reform we have hoped for, time to end the arrogance and deceit of the Bush administration. As diplomat Richard N. Haass puts it, "My reading of things is that the American people are ready to be leveled with."

Let the leveling begin.

I can see clearly now

2008-10-17T23:57:00.000-05:00

We've been back from our Colorado vacation for a week now, and what's the first thing that any average, normal, red-blooded American typically says when returning from a 2,500 mile road trip? They say "I think I'll ask someone to cut a slit in my eyeball, insert a probe to liquefy a portion of it with sonic waves, and then suck it out with a straw," of course.

What?

You mean everyone doesn't say this? It's just me? Hmmmmm, OK. I always knew I was a bit, er, different. In any case, I had cataract surgery on Monday and all has gone well so far. I confess that I was a bit nervous when the procedure (called "phacoemulsification") was first explained to me, but it's been performed on millions of people and was quick and totally painless. In fact, it took them longer to set up for it than the actual operation itself. This perception was no doubt also due in part to the wonderful drugs I was given; I recall looking up from the table as a guy appeared over me saying "Hi there! I'm your anesthesiologist!" in what seemed like a curiously way too chipper tone of voice, and the next thing I knew, it was all over and I was being handed a cookie and a carton of orange juice.

The difference in my eyesight has been dramatic. I've gone without glasses all week for the first time in perhaps 40 years, and although there's still another cataract in my left eye that will need to be removed eventually (one of the many negative side effects of the prednisone I take for my IPF), it's not nearly as bad as the one I had done this week, and my doc thinks I should wait perhaps another year or so. It will take some getting used to, as my vision is now asymmetrical: the "new" eye sees 20-20 at distance but not as sharp close-up, while the "old" eye does just the opposite. However, the doc tells me my brain will learn to compensate for this by shifting most of the work of seeing to whichever eye is better focused on the particular task at hand as required.

No glasses ... what a concept!

Top of the world

2008-10-10T15:27:00.002-05:00

I wasn't sure I could do it, but here I am standing at the top of Lobo Overlook, about a thousand feet above the summit of Wolf Creek Pass. (Note the screen grab at right from the van's GPS-enabled onboard road atlas software, elevation 11,800 ft.) In comparison to the snow and sleet on the pass during the trip over, the weather has turned beautiful so we decided another drive up the mountain was in order since we got gypped out of the nice views we had hoped for originally. This time, we were not disappointed (click pic for a much larger view):

We were lucky to reach this spot; the dirt road leading up to it from the top of Wolf Creek is impassible after the first heavy snowfall each year, and was already a bit dicey in places, having already taken a good hit from the storm we slogged through a week earlier. But I was thrilled to take in the indescribable view from the top, one I thought a few years ago I might never see again. And, as an extra bonus, we were treated by a visit from several Gray Jays, also called "camp robbers" due to their extremely bold, almost tame behavior around humans; they will take food offered to them right from your hand:

The birds have developed these habits (which are completely abnormal to most wild creatures) because they live at extreme high altitudes where food sources are scarce. Thus, they are very aggressive and will take food anywhere they can find it, including handouts from passing tourists. On one of our Colorado trips several years ago, I was stunned to first encounter a flock of camp robbers on a lunch stop on Slumgullion Pass as they swooped down out of the trees to alight on my head, shoulders, and outstretched arms and hands. I thought it was one of the most amazing things I had ever experienced, and was absolutely delighted to have it happen again. Nature can be pretty damn incredible, I must say. :-)

Back in Pagosa Springs, before heading back to Texas we had to stop by the spot that was almost our home many years ago. The in-laws owned a 40-acre parcel of land a ways out of town, and had set aside this portion of it for us to build on when the "time was right" and we could afford it:

Unfortunately however, the time never was "right"; back then, there was no possible way we could have afforded to quit our jobs in Houston and move to Pagosa, let alone shoulder the cost of constructing a home there. (There were other concerns as well, including the lack of practical access to water and utilities, which may be one reason why no one has built anything on the site to this day.) But while we never drew up anything formal, I had visions (and even rough floor plans) of our perfect "log cabin", complete with wrap-around decking and a 2nd-floor recording studio loft. The best part of all was that this would be the view from our front window:

Now that's inspiration! Alas, it's a dream that will remain unfulfilled, as the in-laws had to sell the land to pay medical bills as they got older and their health started failing. But I could still look at that spot today and see our house in my mind. It's beautiful, folks. You should come up sometime.

On a more upbeat note, Mrs. Toast's brother still lives in Pagosa and we had a fine time visiting him. Although the view from his deck doesn't quite rival the view from our fantasy home, it's still not too shabby:

Finally, in case you can't get enough Colorado scenery, here's a slide show of some other photos from our trip. That's it from the Rockies, see you back in Texas!

Drivin' along in my automobile

2008-10-06T12:34:00.002-05:00

It's been an interesting week so far, so come along on a virtual road trip as we slog through flat, boring Kansas and finally arrive in the Mile High City.

I'll have more to write later about my visit with the doctors there, but for now let me just tell you that things at the hospital went very well, and we also enjoyed some fine food and drink while in town. Thanks, SupaCoo ... and Pete says hi. :-)

One thing I've always thought about Denver is that while it's a fine city (as cities in general go), other than the occasional glimpse of an outline of mountains through the haze in the distance it doesn't really feel a whole lot like Colorado to me. But once we headed south, that changed quickly and the scenery became fantastic.

And just in case we had any doubt where we were:

I wasn't sure how my compromised lungs would react to the altitude, but I was able to handle ten thousand feet with a smile (sort of).

The weather, which had been gorgeous so far, took a turn for the worse as we got further south approaching the San Juans, and I could tell by the clouds on the mountain that we might be in for a bit of nastiness going over Wolf Creek Pass.

Sure enough, the clouds turned into sprinkles, then a steady rain by Del Norte. By the time we got about halfway up the mountain, it had turned into slushy sleet, and we crawled over the top of the pass in a full-blown blizzard under nearly whiteout conditions. Fortunately, I had not forgotten my winter-driving skills learned long ago in Massachusetts, and kept up a slow, steady pace, following the ruts of the vehicle in front of me in low gear and staying off the brake. (The fact that our van is front-wheel drive helped a lot.) I'm sorry we don't have any photos of this portion of the trip to share with you, as I was kind of focused on trying not to drive off the side of the road, and Mrs. Toast had a white-knuckle grip on the chicken bar for most of the way. It was an adventure, for sure.

But fortunately we made it down off Wolf Creek and into Pagosa Springs alive, and yesterday morning got this gorgeous photo of the snow-capped mountain peak.

We'll be here for a couple of more days before heading back to Texas. I'm definitely noticing the 7,200' altitude here, and getting out of breath much more easily just by walking short distances. My O2 saturation is dropping considerably lower, too -- down to 77-80% at times, whereas it hardly ever dips below 90% back home. I just need to take it slow and easy, though, and I should be OK. It's worth it; this is most definitely a Rocky Mountain High!

We're in Kansas, Toto!

2008-09-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

As in the Sunflower State, the Heartland, the country's breadbasket, Tornado Alley, Mid-America; more specifically, Salina, Kansas, a mere 100 miles from the geographical center of the United States.

We are paused here overnight in the middle of what seems like endless miles of high plains and wheat fields, at the crossroads of Interstates 135 and 70 as we make our way towards Denver on a road trip that is equal parts vacation and madcap medical adventure. The primary reason for this journey is so that I can be re-evaluated at National Jewish Health, the #1 respiratory hospital and research center in the United States, and possibly the world (the name is a bit misleading, as the facility treats patients of any religion, creed, or nationality).

I first visited National Jewish in 2003; at that time I had just been diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis by my local doctor, and was having difficulty accepting that this pronouncement indicated I had, statistically speaking, perhaps another two to five years left to live. Generally, the typical reaction most people have upon being informed that they have a terminal illness largely follows the five stages of grief: first comes shock, then denial and anger. I managed to experience all three simultaneously, it seemed; not only was I stunned and in disbelief, but man, I was pissed. How dare my doctor tell me that, and WTF does he know, anyway? I decided that he must be wrong, and became determined to be seen by the best professionals in the field, hoping that their greater knowledge would enable them to give me more favorable news. Alas, after a week in Denver being subjected to virtually every medical test known to modern science (and one or two possibly left over from medieval times), they essentially confirmed the diagnosis and counseled me that I should consider getting a lung transplant as soon as possible and also, as the saying euphemistically goes, "get my affairs in order", just in case.

This was not exactly the encouragement I had been seeking, but it did confirm the reality of the situation so that I could mentally move past the initial three stages into the next phase ... the dark, smothering, cold and clammy embrace of depression.

Ha ha! I kid. Mostly.

But a funny thing happened on the way to my funeral. Just as I reached the final stage of "acceptance" and began to be OK with it, I started getting better! Whoa! That wasn't supposed to happen, according to the experts. IPF is by definition a progressively degenerative condition, and while the decline may be slow, or (in many cases, unfortunately) horribly rapid, it's nevertheless an elevator that only goes in one direction: down. That my lung capacity went from 78% in 2001 to 55% in 2003 to an all-time low of 44% in 2004 ... and then climbed back to 50% in 2005, peaking at close to 60% in early 2006 (where it has hovered with only minor variation since then), is extraordinary. Something unusual is definitely going on with me, and my doctors at home are not exactly sure what to make of it. So when the folks at NJH called a few months ago to see how I was doing, I jumped at their suggestion that I might want to return to Denver for a five-year followup. Again, we're not sure what additional light they can shed on my situation, but I figure it couldn't hurt to be examined by and consult with the best pulmonary physicians in the country.

So we're on our way to Colorado, spending tonight in Kansas, which extensive scientific research has revealed really is flatter than a pancake. We've laid down about 620 miles today, and have another 430 or so to go tomorrow. I'll have two days of medical tests and doctor visits later this week, then we'll have a free day to explore the sights of the Mile-High City and take in some local flavor, which has come highly recommended by blogger buddy and former Denver resident Supacoo. And like any self-respecting librarian on vacation, Mrs. Toast wants to visit some big-city bookstores. After that, we'll be heading south to beautiful Pagosa Springs, the former home of the in-laws where we spent many a fine Rocky Mountain vacation in years past. Mrs. Toast's brother (whom we haven't seen in several years) still lives there, so we plan to hang out with him for a few days before heading back to Texas. I'm not sure how I'll do with the altitude. Breathing is difficult enough for me at sea level, and Pagosa's 7,200' elevation may be a real challenge. En route from Denver, we'll cross legendary Wolf Creek Pass (elevation 10,800') which should be interesting. I'll be crankin' up my oxygen on that portion of the drive, for sure.

More exciting news, and photos, will follow in this space shortly ... hopefully more scenic than this one:

Damn that Spam

2008-09-26T00:42:00.002-05:00

I swear, these e-mail scams just keep getting worse. Take a look at this one; how stupid do they think I am?

###

Good day American taxpayer, compliments of the season to YOu. Please allow me to introduce myself I am Mr. Henry PAULSON very high official of United States Treasury of United States, Washington, USA. I please to be writing you this day because someone of our mutual acquaintance Mr. BERNANKE vouch for you as trustworthy and gullible individual of high moral standards.

Through no fault of my own I am come to hard straits and although I am a proud man and father, I must beseech your partnership in resolution, an urgent and vexing matter. Through malfeasance and rascality, certain individuals of my close acquaintance have sabotage national banking system, hence an imminent disaster will befall if I am unable to secure the amount of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S with all utmost haste. This amount is currently being held by millions of fellow Americans but thus far these scoundrels refuse to release the money to me on grounds of that it is not mine infact.

Therefore I must, find a partner who can assist in the collection of this funds with, advance fee of $179.99 DOLLARS U.S a nominal amount I am sure you will agree.

After funds of $700,000,000,000 DOLLARS U.S I will forward informations regarding fully protection of all funds, liabilities, equities and other such financial aspects. For now I must ask you to simply place your trust in me as you would a brother, for, are we, all not brothers?

I pray, that this message find it in your heart, to enter in partnership with me in interest of forestalling disastrous circumstance. Should you prefer not to assist me, with funds, I shall direct my I.R.S agents to procure the funds anyway from you, this voluntarily way is more amenable, as fate wills it.

Your friend everlasting,

Mr. Herny PAULSON
United STATES Treasure

Source: Woot

Ix-nay on the Alin-pay

2008-09-22T01:15:00.000-05:00

I've decided to give the Sarah Palin thing a rest, and hereby declare a hiatus on future posting about her at least until the election is over. For one thing, I think it's safe to say that by now regular readers of this blog (both of you!) know full well my opinions on this subject; I've re-read my last few posts and I'm beginning to sound a bit like a broken record. Besides, I'm not really serving up anything new or original, and anyone really interested in the finer nuances of Palin-tology can find much more thoughtful and well-written journals elsewhere to better suit your own personal tastes. If you're a tinfoil-hat-wearing loony-lefty-liberal barking moonbat like I am, the articles at The Huffington Post will have you nodding in agreement. On the other hand, if you're a far-right evangelistic neo-con wingnut, you'll be positively orgasmic over the rants of Michelle Malkin. In either case, this is a time for serious thought and important decisions, and I don't need to be adding to the background noise.

But not only that, we're beginning to see some hopeful evidence that the bloom may be off the Palin rose, so perhaps my work here is done. Barack Obama has recaptured the lead in the polls after the Republicans' post-convention bounce, and donations to his campaign are surging in response to Palin. She was an unknown, spunky, photogenic novelty who energized the contest when she was first introduced, but as voters have gotten to know her in the last month, they are increasingly realizing that this egotistical, anti-intellectual, vindictive, homophobic, gun-toting, bible-thumping, wolf-shooting, politically-lightweight hockey mom (along with her gaggle of oddly-named children, "first dude", and unwed pregnant teenage daughter), is just too unconventional to lead America through the serious days ahead. Rational-thinking people are getting over their initial shock, and are rightfully aghast that this bunch might actually have any chance of occupying the White House.

For my parting shot, let me suggest a much more suitable vocation for Ms. Mooseburger: the Palins should star in their own situation comedy/reality show about a strange backwoods clan who are thrust unexpectedly into a fast-paced modern world they are unprepared for, and can only deal with in bizarre, comic ways. They could call it "The Wasilla Hillbillies". On Fox, of course.

Oh wait, that's already been done. Dang.

Th-th-th-that's all, folks. On to other topics!

What are you thinking?

2008-09-19T16:12:00.002-05:00

An open letter to supporters of Sarah Palin:

Are you fucking nuts?

I mean seriously, have you people completely lost your minds?

Are you so blinded by your fear, bias, and irrational hatred of Barack Obama that you're ready to put one of the least-qualified candidates to appear the last century next in line to be leader of the free world? Her politics or gender have nothing to do with this; rather, I'm talking about her utter lack of any serious thought or ability when it comes to the economy, Iraq, health care, or for that matter any domestic or foreign policy.

You have to know that the chances of her becoming president within the next four to eight years are not insignificant. Based on actuarial tables using his age alone, John McCain has about a one-in-five chance of dying while in office. Factor in his health history of melanoma and other physical problems, and the chances that Palin could wind up as president approach even odds. Does this not at all worry you? Apparently not, because you've embraced this former beauty queen with a fervor that would be hard to top unless Jesus Himself had returned for the Second Coming and was running for office -- which is not all that far removed from Palin's ideology. Religious interpretation of public policy is a cornerstone of her values, as when she painted the current war in Iraq as a messianic affair in which the United States could act out the will of the Lord.

"Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do ... a task that is from God," she told the Wasilla Assembly of God, her church home for many years while she was growing up. "That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan."

Palin apparently believes that God also has a plan for Alaska's energy proposals, as she asked the audience to pray for a $30 billion national gas pipeline project that she wanted built in Alaska. "I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built," she said.

Personally, it scares the crap out of me to think that any VP -- or possibly president -- would be making critical decisions based in any part on their certainty of what "God's will" or "God's plan" is for America. When people in certain other countries do this, we refer to them as "fanatics", "fundamentalists", or perhaps even "terrorists". They believe without any doubt whatsoever that they are right, that their cause is blessed and they are willing to die for it and receive Allah's rewards in heaven.

Compare that concept to remarks made in a sermon by Ed Kalnins, the senior pastor of Wasilla Assembly of God since 1999:

"We need to think like Jesus thinks. We are in a time and a season of
war, and we need to think like that. We need to develop that instinct. We need to develop as believers the instinct that we are at war, and that war is contending for your faith. ... Jesus called us to die. You're worried about getting hurt? He's called us to die. Listen, you know we can't even follow him unless you are willing to give up your life. ... I believe that Jesus himself operated from that position of war mode."

Hmmmmm. Sound familiar?

Kalnins also preaches repeatedly about the apocalyptic prophesy of the "end times" or "last days." Granted, it's debatable whether politicians should be held responsible for the views of their religious mentors, as Obama learned with Rev. Wright. But it is fair to say that Palin's policies have been and will continue to be shaped by her belief in divine guidance to a far greater extent than most political leaders. She will have the "bully pulpit", in a literal and very chilling sense.

Her claim to the moral high ground, however, seems pretty hypocritical compared to some of her other positions and actions. For one thing, she out-and-out lied about her support for the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere." Then, not only does she apparently hate some of God's creatures, including endangered species, she seems to think it's OK for her husband Todd to defy a legal subpoena compelling him to testify in the investigation of her role in the "Troopergate" scandal, as well as to use her personal unsecured e-mail account to conduct state business in violation of public accountability laws. This last one is pretty funny, really. There's been all sorts of of righteous indignation from conservatives this week about the hacking of her Yahoo email account: "This is a shocking invasion of the governor’s privacy and a violation of law," campaign manager Rick Davis said Wednesday in a written statement. True enough, yet wholesale violations of the bill of rights by illegal government wiretaps and other actions under the Patriot Act don't seem to bother her at all. How does the shoe feel on the other foot, Sarah?

There are many other examples of her lack of even the most basic prerequisites for America's top leadership, but why go on? You Palin supporters are determined to place this unfit neophyte (who is getting a crash-course on global issues spoon-fed to her on 3x5 cards) at the helm of the nation in one of the most challenging times in recent history, when our aggressive and arrogant foreign policies have left us with few friends in the world. Think we've had it rough during the last eight years of Dubya? Just wait; a McCain/Palin presidency will be an unmitigated disaster. But you don't seem to care. So let me ask you again:

Are you fucking nuts?

Ike strikes

2008-09-13T20:40:00.002-05:00

Hurricane Ike barreled into our small town early this afternoon, after causing major havoc along the Texas Gulf coast and the Houston area last night and early this morning. Thankfully, damage was much less severe than had been feared. We are roughly 200 miles from Galveston, far enough inland that we hardly ever get much of any impact from Gulf storms. This time, though, forecasters had predicted winds of 75 to 90 mph, although it didn't appear to me that we had anything close to that. But there were lots of downed trees (a few of which stuck homes), and widespread power outages throughout East Texas. Our house was spared anything serious; a tree across the street fell over but missed us completely, and we only lost power momentarily during the storm. The only casualty was our back yard gazebo and birdbath which blew over.

After it became clear a short time ago that the worst was over, I drove around a bit to asses the damage in our neighborhood. Here are some photos:

I can't say I was overly concerned at any time during the storm, as we have a special resource to depend upon in an emergency. As you probably know, animals have a sixth sense for predicting natural dangers, and since we have three cats, we are fortunate to be protected by the F.E.W.S., or Feline Early Warning System:

Since we never spotted more than one cat taking refuge at any given time, we felt reassured that things were not going to be so bad.

Style over substance

2008-09-11T13:35:00.001-05:00

Sarah Palin's handlers, realizing that the VP nominee is very likely to reveal her gross inexperience and utter lack of qualification for office if exposed to close scrutiny, are sequestering her from the public and the media -- a fact which today's Miami Herald finds outrageous:

If any of the Republican or Democratic presidential candidates had refused to talk to voters or media during the recent primary contests the way vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin has done in recent days, they would have been dismissed immediately from serious consideration. Not talk to voters while seeking the second-highest public office in the country? Preposterous!

Yet, amazingly, this is the position that John McCain and Ms. Palin have taken as they campaign together following Ms. Palin's popular acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention. After a rally this week in Lancaster, Pa., some of Ms. Palin's supporters waited outside for her. "Speech! Speech!" they shouted, hoping she would take the podium as Mr. McCain had just done. Ms. Palin smiled, shook a few hands and left. Requests for interviews by radio, television and newspaper journalists have been met with the same cold shoulder.

A McCain campaign spokesman said that Ms. Palin would "agree to an interview when we think it's time and when she feels she's comfortable doing it." Really? If Ms. Palin isn't ready for prime time, ready to talk with people she is asking to vote for her or to discuss the tough issues facing the country, then one has to wonder if she's ready to be vice president.

Meanwhile, what's the latest buzz making the news about the candidate? Is it her position on energy matters, the environment, foreign policy, or any other major issues? No. It's her designer glasses.

In-freaking-credible.

No more Mr. Nice Guy

2008-09-09T15:51:00.002-05:00

Well, it's not just me.

Over at the Huffington Post, Drew Westen opens up today's commentary on the current state of the political landscape by saying, "Democrats around the country have been growing increasingly anxious over the last week, and for good reason." The article, entitled "What Obama Needs To Do In The Final Sixty Days," takes the Democratic candidate to task for being too polite and not aggressive enough towards McCain and Palin:

McCain shouldn't have gotten a 10-point bump from his uncivil convention, and this election shouldn't be close. What happened in one short week was both completely predictable and completely avoidable. Just hours after a Democratic Convention that reignited Democratic enthusiasm and started to swing those swing voters who just weren't sure about Obama, the Obama campaign had forgotten everything it should have learned from its success of Denver--most importantly that you never drop your gloves, and that you never let the other side control the narratives--and had returned to the same failed strategies that gave us Presidents Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry, strategies Democratic consultants have passed from generation to generation like a family heirloom laced with hemlock.

He's right, and it's high time for Barack to take off the kid gloves and go ruthlessly on the offensive to counter the ridiculous "G.I. John and Superwoman" image being cultivated by the Republicans, which is effectively scoring gains in the polls. This is not a comic book fantasy here, this is real life, and if Obama doesn't step up to the plate and clobber voters over the head with the message that John McCain will bring us (at least) another four years of disastrous Bush policies, we're gonna frickin' lose this thing. He needs to boldly take charge of this election and dramatically redirect the discussion away from the frivolous (Sarah Palin's hairstyle?? Jesus, come on, people!) back to the issues that will impact the future of this country; as Ariana Huffington puts it, "A presidential campaign is a battle and this is the time for Obama to show some commander-in-chief skills."

Damn straight. Let's kick some ass.

Couldn't have said it better

2008-09-08T23:35:00.000-05:00

From the History News Network, an article written by historian and college professor Mark Naisan:

The McCain Palin ticket, if elected, would be a disaster for the country. Their propensity to invoke God's will as a justification for government policies, their contempt for science and intellect, their extraordinary lack of knowledge about the culture and history of the major nations of the world, and their shameless defense of an oil-centered energy policy that has produced economic and ecological disaster for the nation, poorly prepares them to lead a nation whose reputation has been damaged by an ill-considered war and whose position in the global economy has been steadily weakening.

Exactly right, and I figure that anyone and everyone understands this. But then, just as I start getting hopeful that we're on the verge of waking up from an eight-year-long national nightmare, I continue reading and get sucker-punched by the next paragraph of Naisan's essay:

However, the very things that make McCain and Palin feared in most of the world gives them an excellent chance of winning the presidency. Their proud anti-intellectualism, reflected in their personal histories as well as their rhetoric, touches a powerful chord with many working class and middle class Americans. There is a long tradition in this country of mistrusting people who have advanced academic training, which the McCain/Palin ticket has used to great effect in holding Barack Obama up to ridicule. While some Americans might admire Obama for working as a community organizer before attending Harvard Law School, and for teaching law before running for public office, Republicans have used these features of his biography to say that he doesn't understand how "real folks" live.

Well this is distressing ... but then, here comes the coup de gras:

After listening to the speeches at the Republican Convention, I am convinced that appealing to such fears and suspicions is at the core of the McCain/Palin strategy. None of this is new. From George Wallace, to Spiro Agnew to Rush Limbaugh, the right has used anti-intellectualism as one of its major rallying cries. But to do so at this historic moment, when the American economy is in deep disarray and so many of its foreign policy initiatives have come to grief, is particularly worrisome. Will working class and middle class Americans see through this desperate charade and vote for someone with the temperament, training and intellect to actually solve some of the nation's problems, or will they let their own fears and prejudices wed them to the status quo?

Good question, and it's worth noting that McCain's post-convention bounce in the tracking polls has closed his rival's earlier 6-point lead, leaving the two candidates in a statistically dead-even match. Still, I remain optimistic; even though (to my utter amazement) Americans re-elected George W. Bush in 2004, I can only hope we have learned from that colossal mistake and are not indeed a nation of idiots after all.

Knowledge and culture = good. Fear and prejudice = bad. Is this really so fucking hard to grasp?

Bristol Palin Is Major Babeage

2008-09-04T20:33:00.005-05:00

That has to be the thought running through the mind of many young (and not-so-young) men this week since Sarah Palin's 17-year old daughter has been thrust into the limelight by the recent announcement that she is five months pregnant. Hey, forget those skanky Bush twins! Bristol's cute, has a killer bod, and like, dude, she obviously puts out!

Oh wait ... I'm sorry, I forgot: family is supposed to be off limits in this election, and the Republicans are already getting traction by chastising certain media outlets for asking intrusive questions about allegations leveled at Palin and her family. Yet, the McCain campaign apparently sees no problem in trotting out Palin's brood at every public appearance, arranging for Bristol's baby-daddy Levi Johnston to be seated at the convention alongside the Palin family and Cindy McCain, where the newborn Trig Palin was passed up and down the line like the campaign prop he's become.

Sorry Sarah, but you can't have it both ways. You can't say "please respect the privacy of my family" as you exploit them for political gain, and wrap yourself in Poor Little Sweet Baby Trig to prove your anti-abortion stand. (BTW, where did they get the names for these kids? Trig, Track, Bristol, Piper, Willow? What are they going to name Bristol's child when it's born in four months? Meegosh? Sorsha? Madmartigan?)

In any case, she did get off to a strong start with her speech at the RNC convention last night, at one point quipping: "By the way, do you know what they say the difference is between a hockey mom and a Pit Bull? Lipstick." She also fired a few salvos at one of conservatives' favorite targets: "the liberal media," for being so impertinent as to ask questions about her family. This preview seems to suggest that much of her campaign strategy will involve attacking the press, which, as Richard Nixon used to such advantage, can work much better than attacking your opponent when you have little else of substance to run on. Over at Slate, reporter Jack Shafer went as far as to say of Palin, "she'll run as the new Sprio Agnew." (Apparently, former references to "Dan Quale in a dress" are no longer apropos, now that we're beginning to see Palin's formidable chops as an attack dog.) Shafer went on to say:

Instead of letting Palin talk directly and frequently to the press, the McCain campaign will dress her in bunting and rush her from one controlled setting the next—small towns, firebases in Iraq and Afghanistan, "town halls," important funerals, church conventions, and American Legion halls (essentially George W. Bush's current itinerary). There she'll play the role of Spiro Agnew to McCain's Nixon, dismissing reporters' tough questions as effete, impudent, sacrilegious, snobby, intrusive, unpatriotic, hostile, disrespectful, chauvinistic, "East Coast," unfair, unbalanced, liberal, biased, trivial, hypothetical, elitist, and as partisan attempts to lasso her with a "gotcha." Beating the press always attracts votes, but rarely enough to turn an election. Palin could find herself winning the battle for her running mate but losing the war.

As Shafer points out, the attacks could backfire: already the Democrats are reporting that donations to their campaign are up considerably since Palin was named as the Republican VP nominee and began criticizing Obama:

"Sarah Palin's attacks have rallied our supporters in ways we never expected," Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton said. "And we fully expect John McCain's attacks tonight to help us make our grassroots organization even stronger."

Personally, I think Palin was a VP choice of desperation for McCain, and my prediction is that she will ultimately be a liability instead of an asset to the ticket. Her choice was an obvious pander to disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters, but her political views are nearly 180 degrees from HRC's, and I honestly don't believe that many women (no matter their political stripe) are so short-sighted that they will vote for her simply because she has a vagina. Much has been made of the fact that she is a "hockey mom" and an "ordinary person", and that this should somehow appeal to us. Excuse me, but I don't want an "ordinary" person in the White House -- I want someone extra-ordinary who has the experience and ability to effectively handle the most important job on the planet. Considering his age and past health issues, there is more than an insignificant chance that Miss Congeniality could in fact become the leader of the free world if John McCain expires before his term of office does. So, seriously: is this the person you want to be a heartbeat away from the presidency?

Readers, please comment.