Three Bags Full

There was a little girl with a little curl...

2008-01-09T22:01:00.000-05:00

right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. When she was bad, she was horrid.

This poem describes me to a T.

Except maybe the "little" part.

I've lived my entire thirty-thirteen years with curly hair. Not kinky curly. But not wavy. CURLY. I've wanted my entire thirty-thirteen years to have STRAIGHT hair. Long, straight, blonde hair. I've never had it.

I've tried. I've bought straighteners. I have a CHI. I have hot curlers. But I've never really had straight hair. The CHI works pretty well. It works for me until I walk outside. I do live in Georgia, and the air can be quite humid. I grew up in Coastal Georgia, where the air is always humid. Therefore, my hair has always been curly.

Or, to be honest, my hair has usually been frizzy.

I spent my younger years with short hair. This was my mother's way to deal with my hair. She,too, has curly hair, and she knew it would be easier to deal with my hair if it was short. When I got old enough to take care of my own hair, I decided to let it grow.

Sometimes, I had nice ringlets. Other times, I looked like Janis Joplin. My hair was always a crap-shoot. I never knew what it was going to do. I have lots of barrettes and scrunchies in case I need to pull it back.

Fortunately, I received an invitation to Ravelry.

I joined, and I began to peruse groups. I found a group that really interested me. "Crafters with Naturally Curly Hair." Who would have thought? Others like ME?

So, I join the group, and start reading the message board. And there is a whole world out there that I never knew. The CURLY GIRL world.

I found out about a book, The Curly Girl's Handbook, and a website, www.naturallycurly.com. I am learning what to do with my hair. I now know that I am a CURLY GIRL, and that I'm not alone.

I'm learning how to work with my curls. And to allow my curls to work with me. And I am thrilled.

If you are a curly girl, find the book, find the website, and embrace your curls!

I am still out here!

2007-12-29T15:52:00.000-05:00

I have been knitting. In fact, I've been knitting quite a lot. I am teaching a self-contained fifth grade class this year, and decided to knit them all a Christmas gift. I was going to make them all a wreath, but didn't like the sample, so I decided upon a bookworm for each of them. I allowed them to select a color, based on leftover Sugar'n'Cream that I had, and I set out to knit 27 bookworms. I used Sarah Bradberry's pattern, but altered it to include a chained tail, and a tassle on the end. I also personalized each of them with the initials of every student on the end of the tail. I glued googley eyes on every bookworm. They ended up being precious.

What I Love About Badcaul

2007-03-14T18:52:00.000-05:00

I've discovered a new passion. I now understand what so many sock knitters are raving about. The toe-up two at a time magic loop sock. Wow!

I love not having to kitchener the toe. This pattern (Badcaul by Anna Bell) has a Turkish Cast-On. When I started these babies a year ago, I remember being totally amazed by this cast on.

I love this yarn. It is Step in Grass. I got it from Margaret last year for St. Patrick's knitting. It has jojoba in the yarn. It is so very soft.

I'm coming up on the heels. I know that I'll do one at a time, but I'm looking forward to a new challenge.

What I love best is that I'll finish both socks at once. I will be able to bind them off and put them on.

I may have to do all socks this way from now on.

Low Country Boil

2007-03-14T18:33:00.000-05:00

One Shrimp Sock is finished. Please ignore the white leg attached to the sock.

This is a close up of the Double Eyelet Rib that is used for the Summer Solstice Sock. I really like the way this turned out.

I am not currently knitting a second sock. I'm taking a break from shrimp.

February Knitting

2007-03-07T20:01:00.000-05:00

February began with an abnormal mammogram. Not mine, because despite the fact I'm thirty-thirteen, I haven't had one yet---Don't fret though, it's scheduled for March 21. It was my mother. And after a small and large needle biopsy, it was determined that it was breast cancer. She was given the choice of a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. She chose the latter.

I went down the 18th of February. We drove to Jax on President's Day and checked in to the Wyndham on the St. John's River. We had a fabulous dinner at Ruth's Chris Steak House, and went back to the room to get to bed early for our hosiptal stay.

We were at Pre-Op at 8:15, and I began to knit fish. We were put in a holding room, and I knit fish. My brother came, and I knit fish. My cousins came, and I knit fish. We waited, and I knit fish. Mamma was finally taken into surgery at 2:30, and still, I knit fish. Her surgery went well, and only took an hour. The tumor was very small, and contained, and her lumph nodes were clear. She'll see an oncologist later this month, but we don't anticipate any chemo or radiation. Prayers really do work.

Mamma was able to go home on Wednesday afternoon. I headed to Fuzzy Mabel on Thursday morning to get some yarn to knit her a Tit Bit. I brought home 3 different silks, and a bamboo. She picked the bamboo. I finished it Thursday night, and she wore it on Friday. I'd love to show a picture, but I don't want my mother flashing her "knitty" (as she calls it!) Wouldn't that be a bit pornographic?

I went back to Fuzzy Mabel on Friday. Cynthia is relocating to Lancaster, SC, and was having a big sale. I went in to get Mamma some needles for a prayer shawl she's knitting (2 days after a mastectomy), and as I'm checking out, I spy this:

It is IsleDyllic Dream handpainted sock yarn in Low Country Boil. I met the artist in the shop, and just had to bring it back to Atlanta. It really looks like home to me.

I finally started a pair of socks with my Low Country Boil last week. They are the Summer Solstice Socks from The Sock Calendar.

The leg is a Double Eyelet Rib. I love the way it is working up. I'm using DPNs after a long hiatus from them, and am really enjoying using them again. I'm planning on wearing these, so no SSS this go-round. I'm off to knit!

It's Pre-Game Knitting!

2007-02-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

Here is the first Warm Up America square I completed for Super Knit Sunday. I used Red Heart Kids in Bikini. It's a little like knitting dishcloths, only with acrylic yarn. Since the yarn was so busy, I decided to do a straight stockinette.

These are the other colors of Red Heart that I got for squares. I think I may be a little ambitious. I got Red Heart Kids in Lime, Orange, Yellow, Pink, and Happy. I'm doing the solid colors in some type of pattern. I'm doing a small gingham with the pink. I'm just kind of playing a little with the solid colors.

There are a couple of other variegated Red Heart Kids that I may end up getting, too. I'll try to make at least one strip of seven squares.

Super Knit Sunday

2007-01-29T17:48:00.000-05:00

DIY network is sponsoring a Knit-In on Super Bowl Sunday for Warm Up America. Patterns for 7 x 9 " squares can be found here. I'll probably have to keep my husband company during the game, so I might as well be knitting for a good cause. I think my local Michael's accepts the squares. If not, I can mail them in.

A Bad Blogger

2007-01-24T17:55:00.000-05:00

I've been a bad blogger. I haven't posted in 2 months. I can no longer access Blogger from work, so, I'm out of touch!

My cycle was a bust. I got pregnant. Saw that elusive second line. And then it was gone. Who else but me. My beta started at 10, and went down from there. We did a hysteroscopy and everything is fine.

I have one frozen embryo. I'll transfer it in the spring. I'll let you know if it works.

I've been knitting. I knit Argosy for a friend's Christmas present. I'll post a photo later. I'm sorking on Danica for a late present.

Thanks for all the HUGS!

2 Week Wait Knitting

2006-11-16T13:54:00.000-05:00

I decided I needed something special to knit for my 2 week wait. I decided on this in Ireland. I thought that the green would be soothing, and it also shows growth. So, while I hopefully have a baby or 2 growing inside of me, my afghan will be growing as well. I ordered it today, with a 3 day delivery. I hope it gets here soon. I'll need something to do while I wait.

My mom is coming up, and will stay for Thanksgiving. We're ordering from Honey Baked Ham, I think, and getting a Corn Casserole from Publix. I had a sample and it is great. It will only be Brad, Mamma, and me. I don't see a need to cook. I'm going to put myself on bedrest after the transfer anyway.

Fertilization

2006-11-16T13:47:00.000-05:00

11 eggs were retrieved yesterday. 10 of them were mature. 5 of them fertilized. The embryologist said he had hoped for 6, so 5's not that off. I was a little disappointed, but then I thought of my first cycle, when I had zero fertilization. 5 is 500 times better than 0 (IMHO). I will go in for the transfer on Saturday morning, unless I get an early morning call. The embryologist said that they would call by 8:15 if we're going to push it back to a five day transfer. I'll be happy either way.

I'm working on my fall transfer second sock, the Jaywalker. I'm decreasing the gusset now, and have to finish the foot.

I'm expecting my medals by tomorrow, so I'll have the blessings of the Saints for this transfer. I need all the blessings I can get!

Retrieval Day

2006-11-15T08:44:00.000-05:00

Brad is on his way to Woodstock to drop off the little swimmers. He's called me twice already. He's supposed to pick up some instructions for me, so he called about that, and then to find out which way to go on I-285. I'm not worried at all about his part in the whole deal.

I'm not too worried about the retrieval, either. My donor had some really good follicles, and I'm sure we'll get a good amount of eggs. I've double checked about ICSI-ing the eggs, and was reassured that all of them would be ICSI-ed.

The next worry, after the retrieval, is fertilization. Last time, as you may recall, we had ZERO fertilization, and rescue ICSI was performed on the eggs. Rescue ICSI really doesn't work very often. So, I'm a little worried about that. And then I get to worry with whether or not the fertilized eggs grow.

So many worries, so MUCH time to worry about them.

I'm not Catholic, but I did grow up with a Catholic best friend. I went to Mass with them a lot. I have a thing for the saints. I guess I'm a little superstitious, I don't know, but I've gotten into the saints.

I went to Discount Catholic Products and ordered new medals. I've been wearing a St. Gerard and St. Catherine medal for about a year (or more), but my chain recently broke. You pray to St. Gerard for motherhood, and St. Catherine to protect against miscarriage. I wanted some new medals, so I ordered this St. Gerard, and this St. Catherine. Then my mom's friend Mrs. Mraz told her that I needed St. Anthony because he's the saint against infertility, so I ordered this. I decided that Brad needed a little Saint action, too, so I got a St. Joseph for him. St. Joseph is the patron saint of fathers. So I should have plenty of protection from the saints.

My mom is coming up here Friday. She'll take me for the transfer. My husband will be a nervous wreck. Last time, he built a wall while we were gone. Who knows what he'll do this time!

The Final Countdown

2006-11-13T15:22:00.000-05:00

I got a call today from my nurse at the clinic. My donor will trigger tonight. The retrieval will be Wednesday. Brad has to go in at 9:30 on Wednesday. The donor has 11 follicles bigger than 15mm and 6 more right behind that. I'll get a call on Wednesday to see how many eggs were retrieved, and then I'll get a call on Thursday to see how many fertilized.

I'm a nervous wreck. I guess with my first cycle, I didn't know anything could go wrong. Now that I know what can go wrong, I'm terrified that it will.

My transfer is tentatively set for Saturday, but could be pushed back to Monday.

I think I'm going to be sick!

A Knitted Gift

2006-11-07T12:36:00.000-05:00

I decided this time to make something for my donor rather than buying a gift. The charm bracelet didn't work, so I figured since she is giving me part of her, that I'll give her part of me.

I decided to make her a little spa set to pamper herself after the retrieval.

I made some washcloths out of Cotton-Tots rather than Sugar'N Cream. They are so very soft. The two in the front are from the book Dishcloths From The Heart. The one in the back on the left is The Mason Dixon Dishcloth, and the one on the right is from Rhonda White's Spa and Bath Sets to Knit.
I made this box from Mason Dixon Knitting. I used 4 strands of Patons Classic. 2 in Winter White and 2 in Natural Mix.
This is a headband out of Cotton Tots. It's from Rhonda White's Book, too.
This is a Dishcloth I included, since it says "Thanks" on it. Nice and Thanksgiving-y. It is from Enid Danforth's Yahoo Group.
And finally, a soap sack, from Rhonda White's book. The washcloth and soap sack have little polka-dots on them. I told my mom that they look like eggs.

I added some goodies from Bath and Body Works in Warm Vanilla Sugar, and took it to the doctor's office yesterday morning. Someone will take it to the main office, and my donor will get it the day of the retrieval.

Everything is going as planned. My midcycle ultrasound was good. My lining is cooperating. I have no fluid like I did before. My E2 level is a little over 1000. The next hurdle is seeing how the donor responds to her meds. Fingers crossed, everything will be great.

One Down, One to Go

2006-10-30T13:55:00.000-05:00

One Jaywalker Finished.
One to go. I refuse to succumb to Second Sock Syndrome.

I found a whole passle of socks that I have knit only one, or started and haven't even finished one. I'll have to post my Socks of Shame.

Happy Halloween

2006-10-30T11:55:00.000-05:00

Here is "12:01" from Magknits. I knit it with Lion Wool in Pumpkin, and Lamb's Pride in a dark green. It is currently drying. It may have to hold some candy for Halloween night.

Not that there's anything wrong with it...

2006-10-29T18:42:00.000-05:00

The Town Criers left a comment on a previous post praising Marcia Cross for speaking up on behalf of infertiles everywhere. And I started thinking about celebs who've spoken out about infertility. I know that this is not a thorough list, but let's call it a work in progress.....

1. Marcia Cross--Love Her! She was seen coming out of a SoCal fertility clinic. Pregnant with twins at 44. Talks about IF.

2. Courteney Cox--Love Her! She's openly discussed her struggles with infertility. Has ACA's like I do. Says she used IVF to get pregnant, and will use IVF again.

3. Brooke Shields--Love Her Two Times! Not only did she admit to IVF (seven times before becoming pregnant with her first baby) she also admits to postpartum depression, and for using meds to overcome it.

4. Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels--Love Them! You know they had to use ART. It's a given. Actually an anonymous donor, not David Crosby this time.

But what about those mommies who give birth to twins in their upper 40's. We're led to believe that these ladies had NO medical assistance! I don't think necessarily that these ladies should come out and say that they used donor eggs, or what not, but I do think that they should fess up to maybe having trouble getting pregnant, and maybe using ART to get pregnant.

There is nothing wrong with being infertile. There is nothing wrong with using ART to get pregnant. What is wrong is leading people to believe that fertility lasts well into your 40's (and early 50's) . It may for some people, but for the general population, it does not.

Socktober isn't over yet!

2006-10-29T14:36:00.000-05:00

I've been itching all month to knit some socks. I finally found the sock yarn I wanted at The Yarn Garden, and have started a pair of Jaywalkers to celebrate Socktoberfest. I'm using Trekking XXL in colorway 161. They are just so Autumnal that I had to knit them. I really hope this loverly doesn't join my other single socks because of my Second Sock Syndrome. I really really want to finish these. They may be my new transfer socks.

National Infertility Awareness Week

2006-10-29T13:40:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week. The Town Criers have some great ideas for spreading infertility awareness. One of the ideas listed is to blog about infertility.

This is my story.

I used to be fertile. I used to get pregnant at the drop of a hat. I could get pregnant on birth control pills. Carrying a baby, though, was a different story. I could get pregnant, but I couldn't stay that way. Finally, after 5 diagnosed (and who knows how many other) miscarriages, I was tested and tested positive for Anticardiolipin Antibodies. So, I'm told that I can get and stay pregnant with the help of heparin.

I go for a while with no cycle, so I'm prescribed Provera, to jumpstart Auntie Flow, and then Clomid to jumpstart to ol'ovaries. Well, provera doesn't work. Auntie Flow refuses to visit. I take the Clomid anyway, and the ol' ovaries are just that. OLD.

Tests are run, and I'm told that I'm post menopausal. I truly believe, though, that the FSH number that I was given has to be overly inflated. Regardless, I would not be getting pregnant without medical intervention.

Now, I was one of those women who felt that they could get pregnant whenever they wanted, and medical intervention was a sign of weakness. I was truly scared to go to the RE for fear of what they might tell me. I really waited a long time to go. I kept thinking, probably because of celebs in their 40's having babies, that I could do it on my own. I spent a fortune every month on hpt's. I took herbs. I bought the big fertility monitor. I didn't ovulate.

Once I was told about my FSH level, I called and made an appointment with the RE. I was told about the wonders of Donor Eggs. I have done one DE cycle that was not successful. I am beginning another cycle.

People need to be aware of infertility. Out of all of my friends growing up and in college, I can only think of 2 who did not have problems getting pregnant. Infertility can touch everyone to some degree. It can be heartbreaking. It can be devastating.

Hopefully, in my case, with the help of medical assistance, it can be overcome!

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2006-10-15T10:17:00.000-05:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Brad is in Sarasota, so my mother and I will be lighting 5 candles tonight to remember our 5 angels.

Stella Blue-born still-July 11, 1998
Starlet-miscarried November 1999
Noel-etopic-removed tube and baby-January 2000
Angel Baby-miscarried-November 2001
Angel Baby-miscarried-July 2002

The doctors have determined that my losses are because of Anticardiolipin antibodies, which cause micro-clots to form, and the baby dies. Now I will use a blood thinner to prevent this from happening again, providing that I become pregnant again.

Happy Belated Blogoversary!

2006-10-11T10:44:00.000-05:00

A year ago, October 1, I started this blog. I had (and still have) no idea what I'm doing. I have a lot of knitting content, and some infertility stuff, too.

When I started, I was really into making helmetliners. This is something that I should probably start again. I just sent 3 off to Iraq. The husband of one of my co-workers was deployed in August. She sent him a care package, and I sent the helmetliners in that. I like knowing where they go, and I'll be able to get feedback as to what I can do to make them better.

Then, it being October and all, I got into Yorick, and had to make him.

Here it is October again, and I have nothing in the works. So, I thought I'd peruse through the Knitty archives, and have decided to do these.

There is another cool pumpkin that I'd like to do at Magknits. I didn't have enough yarn at home, so I started the Knitty one, first.

The New Cycle

2006-10-09T11:00:00.000-05:00

I'm getting ready to start a new DE cycle. I've been matched with a donor, and she looks quite like my brother did when he was a baby. We can only see baby pics, but I think that's okay. One of the girls on FF just found out that her cycle worked. I only hope that I can follow in her footsteps.

I'm starting my Lupron next Monday, so things will be moving along after that. They have increased my estrogen quite a bit based on the results of my second mock cycle. Hopefully my lining will cooperate. Dr. B. told me that I had a stubborn uterus during that mock cycle. I hope that it will behave for the real thing.

I was a little apprehensive about my donor at first. I had asked for curly hair and green eyes. She has straight hair and brown eyes. But I have been looking at children and their parents a lot lately, and have seen some mothers/fathers and children who look nothing alike. I started thinking about my cousin, who is very fair. She has blonde hair, and is whiter than I am, and I'm pretty white. She married a guy who is Italian and Portuguese. Needless to say, he has dark hair and nice tanning olive skin. (To us very fair folks, to be able to tan would be a dream come true...My sun cycle consists of burn, blister, peel, freckle) The whole time Debbie was pregnant with her son, we just knew he would be dark like Tony. He is the blondest thing you've ever seen. Her daughter is the same way. So I guess it really doesn't matter how my donor looks. What does matter is if she produces some good quality eggs that will grow to blastocyst, and will snuggle in when they are transferred back to me. She has just done a successful cycle, so hopefully I'll be the next.

Heading for Home

2006-10-02T13:19:00.001-05:00

I went home this weekend. My friend Elaine is an interior designer, and designed a showcase house for Southern Accents. The Big Event was this weekend at Hampton Island, and I went with my cousin, my brother and his wife, and my mom and "older sister." I got to see Elaine, which is always a treat, and I also got to see my forever friend, Katy. Three Dog Night was the entertainment at this event. We sat on the lawn and were eaten alive by bugs (one of the hazards of coastal Georgia). The house was fabulous, as was the Big Event. The food was great, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

It was also my daddy's birthday. We went over there for supper, and I took my grandmother. We had to wait a while for my brother and his wife to get there, and so we drank some margaritas. Apparently, my Mimi had too many. We finished eating, and my brother started playing the piano. The next thing I know, Ellen, my sister-in-law, runs in looking for a camera, because Mimi and Wayne were dancing! I'll have to post pictures.

I had a little SEX while I was there. My Stash Enhancing e-Xpedition included trips to both The Stitchery of St. Simons, where I got some Cotton Chenille, a set of Denise Needles, and a Knitwhits kit for the Ripley Hat. Then I went to Fuzzy Mabel and got some needles, and some Euroflax Linen to make a hand towel for my mother's bathroom.

And the wheel goes 'round.....

2006-08-31T08:47:00.000-05:00

This is the Circle of Fun rug from MDK. I used 2 strands of SnC on 10 1/2's. The short rows are a lot of fun to knit, and it really turns out cool. I used Sugar and Cream Cream doubled for the cream sections and Country Sage Ombre and Jute for the variegated sections. I'm working on the first outer band in Cream. I've knit about 3 1/2 years, so I'm half way there. I may or may not do another outer band. If I do, I'm going to do it just in Jute, double stranded. I'm going to use it in my bathroom. My Abosrba was just too big, and the double stranded SnC is a perfect weight to throw over the side of the tub.

The Common Thread Project

2006-08-31T07:40:00.000-05:00

The Common Thread Project is a fabulous idea. I read about it on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters. It began as Operation Pomegranate, and has evolved now to the Common Thread Project. I hope that infertile women will take up the thread and band together. It would be nice to know when you're in line at Publix if the pregnant lady in fromt of you suffered from infertility.

I'm stopping at Hobby Lobby today to buy some DMC #814. I think I'll make a friendship bracelet with it, if I can remember how to do it.

I'm a big mouth, and I'll tell anyone about my journey with infertility. I don't do it to make anyone feel sorry for me. I just think that the common folk need to know how prevalent infertility is. When you share your story, it is amazing how many IF's come out of the woodwork.

My second mock cycle is over, and I finally have a decent lining. So, we now know the protocol to use to build my lining.

I have accepted another donor. I've seen a baby picture and she looks just like my brother. My mother and brother agree. We won't be cycling until October. I'm going to try to get healthier in the meantime. I've joined a gym, and I'm going everyday after school. I haven't lost much weight yet, but I'm sure I will.

I am hopeful that this time will work.

Operation Common Thread

2006-08-31T07:35:00.000-05:00

Common Thread Project