The Experiment. The Journey.

10 years of Human Invest!

2009-03-17T10:44:00.002+02:00

My company is celebrating today 10 years of existence! It's fascinating to think that I've been around for half of this history... Moreover, it's an unique feel to see how things grow and take shape, from a small entrepreneurial idea to a solid company! Proud to be part of this story ;). So, here's an article written by Vio, one of the partners! Enjoy!

"Human Invest - 10 ani frumosi! Multumesc celor cu care am reusit impreuna!

1999 - prima intalnire cu Richard, asociatul meu de azi, la cafeneau hotelului Hilton, cu ocazia unui proiect pentru Coty Cosmetics.

Primele mari contracte: debutul anului 2000 - Connex Romania; 2001 – PricewaterhouseCoopers; 2002 – Bricostore Romania.

In 2003 semnam un contract pe termen lung cu Holcim Romania si lansam programul intern de abilitati manageriale ProManager (care a ajuns la ultima editie abia saptamana trecuta!).

In toamna lui 2004 semnam contractul de reprezentare exclusiva in Romania pentru compania Ken Blanchard si Human Invest incepe o noua epoca!

Din 2005 ne specializam pe programele de dezvoltare manageriala, renuntand la programele de “vanzari” si “customer service”. Incepem sa lucram cu licente ale partenerilor nostri: Ken Blanchard Companies, Inscape Publishing, Tom Peters Company UK, Human Synergistics, Spencer Johnson Partners, John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

2006 aduce consolidare interna, vizibilitate publica, personalitatea si caracterul companiei incep sa prinda contur. Incepem sa trecem de la sesiuni de training independente, la implementarea unor procese de invatare.

2007 si 2008 sunt ani de consacrare si noi inceputuri, cu aspiratii mai mari: programe de leadership de anvergura, facilitarea unor conferinte de management ale clientilor nostri, construirea programelor insotite de procese de asistenta in implementare, Lansam programele publice Nextep si sesiunile scurte. Lansam programele de e-learning. Human Invest ajunge frecvent in primele optiuni ale companiilor care investesc in educatia manageriala a angajatilor.

Am crescut impreuna cu o echipa plina de viata, ne-am distrat si ne-am intristat impreuna, am invatat de la ei lucruri pe care credeam ca le stiu, am facut greselile pe care le recomand clientilor sa nu le faca!

Azi, 17 martie, compania face 10 ani! E o zi in care sunt mai emotionat decat ma asteptam! Multumesc mult inca o data tuturor celor care mi-au fost aproape in acesti ani!"

Learning loops

2009-03-06T12:38:00.000+02:00

I was doing lots of work on learning processes lately and this morning it hit me: it’s so funny how we keep running in the same loop, somehow repeatedly getting back to places where we’ve been before… be it in matters of work, relationships, love or hobbies, I find myself re-visiting old stations from my past, at times again and again…

The tricky part is, are we evolving or just moving in circles? I believe the answer to that makes all the difference! The learning loops moving up in spirals, getting back to where you one were but with a different perspective, being capable of gaining more out of the same circumstance, that’s the thing! That’s evolving! Being back again (stuck) in the very same spot, with the same fears, dilemmas and anxiety… is moving round in circles. From people I know changing their jobs due to boredom and being bored to death again in less than a year to women I know tolerating the same type of crap in their relationships over and over again to friends I have running around chasing for distant dreams but never making it to a take-off towards them…

This is the third time in my life I take up ballet. The fourth time I celebrate years passing in the same company and the fourth time I decided not to quit. The third time I mange to turn an old flame into a new friendship and the third time I realize that stuff I learned in AIESEC are still valid. The third time I get back to the same leadership truths and stated passions. The I-don’t-know-how-many-times that I realized that I just love houses and everything that has to do with living spaces.

Still, it’s the first time I admit to myself there’s no dance in my life and so little music without ballet. The first time I admit that working where I do is as good as I succeed at making it ;). I’m back in the same spots but I’ve learned so much!!! I’ve gone through this thick fog and thought it will lead me nowhere… and still, in this recurrent manner, I’ve grown and definitely learnt that what’s important… is always important.

And whatever you’ve once loved you’ll always love whether you choose to fight against it, ignore it, hate it or simply adjust to it and make those loved things and loved ones part of who you are…

The silent part

2009-03-06T12:36:00.000+02:00

(January 09)

Time passes when you’re not looking at it.

Till one morning you’re struck by the truth! The truth, the only thing that really defines you! The one thing that’s been long buried in the absence of your acknowledgement of self.

We’re running around. Running around all stressed out doing stuff. And talking stuff. There’s all this doing, this talking, this loud talking, the strident laughter that is only meant to hide away the silent parts. The silent parts within. While paying no attention, time slips away, the silence within deepens and the noise outside increases. Instead of catching every second like a falling star you clutter all your feelings and thoughts deep within. There’s this random puzzle within, waiting to be solved and never getting the chance to. On the outside, the loud voices keep up the play.

I remember my time in the hotel in India. Every morning, there was the emerging on the scene. I was in the back, getting ready for ten minutes. I was then leaving the lockers, passing through the hallway in between the linen and the offices. Going up one narrow flight of stairs, passing through the main kitchen, all clanking and clinking of pots and pans. Finally another narrow hall where one needed to listen carefully before turning the corner so not to get hit by someone coming at full speed the other way. And so, five minutes later, there I was: stage on! The huge marble corridors, the soft music, the loud laughter. The outside was high volume and the inside was mute. There was less of me and more of my role. I was cast in my part and doing my best at playing it. Six months later I felt like having split personality: the glamorous laughing character and the silent me on the inside. It was the first time I truly felt the passing of time and the crime I’m committing. The crime of being without being me…

I’ve sworn I’d never do it again. I did. I’ve sworn that every time the laughter will get too loud and the silence too deep I will stop. And listen. And look at my every second that goes by…

I’ve failed myself once more… I’ve failed myself into talking and running and talking some more…

I’ve lost myself in the silent part and the even passing of time. I looked in the mirror and wondered where I was left the last time I checked. Like trying to find the page on a book left by the bed, no markings and too much time passed since the last read. There’s so much clutter… so many facts and too little truths. So much acting and too little backstage. Too much backstage on the scene and too much scene in the backstage… Too much scene. The script. The part. The role. The right things. So many right things and too little truths.

Truths… that I’ve actually known for so long that I started doubting them…

The Book. Page 1.

2008-07-30T11:46:00.002+03:00

One crazy morning after two days spent at sea, I started it. The book I've long since planned on writing. My personal quest to sort out all demons inside and line them on paper. Just publishing the first page wirtten so as not to forget I committed myself to something. Do not expect more, soon... as it will come, you will know ;).

She looked around. The hand that was intended to grab the bag from beneath the chair remained empty. She felt a slight dizziness as she moved her eyes around, with enhanced intensity, looking for the same thing. But the bag was gone. Her temples starting throbbing and she felt as if a wall of fog was installing between her and the world. The reality was obvious: she just had been robbed. Her brain though, refused to acknowledge and was pulling back from the striking reality. She got up. She had to get up. The waitress was coming along with a large smile.

Two hours later, dizziness turned massive headache, she was sitting aimlessly on a shaded kerb just outside Rambla del Raval. Tears were rolling down and a cigarette was burning itself in her hand. Part of her still refused to believe what had just happened. After being robbed she had to go to the police. The tricky part was that she had no phone, no cash and cards, no ID and no plane ticket any longer. Her flight was just taking off, but she could not be there as she had nothing now that could have got her on that plane. She was racking her brains for the correct number of her father’s since she had no clue whom else to call, her boyfriend’s number was something she could never remember and most unfortunately Anna’s number as well. She felt more torn inside than ever and she was so pissed off she couldn’t stop her tears of bitterness from falling.

“The damn bastard! I bloody hate the damn bastard!” All she was left with were her green backpack with the clothes and stuff, the cigarettes and a lighter. That was what drove her nuts the most. “Who the hell am I? I embark on this crazy ‘quest’ and now that I managed nothing I succeed in being nobody! How the f*** am I getting any money back and get out of this hell hole?” she was screaming inside her brain.

Just as she was trying to solve the complicated riddle she had gotten herself into – probably mumbling to herself – she lift her eyes up and the shock of seeing the girl looking down at her made her jump up in panic, palms and back glued to the wall… if the episode before was surreal, this was a nightmare! She tried to get herself together and smiled faintly. “Hey…"

Si totusi scriu...

2008-07-30T11:27:00.002+03:00

Reflectia brandului tau

Publicat la data de 25.07.2008 www.121.ro

Una dintre cele zece lectii de 'supravietuire' ale brandului personal recomandate de unul dintre cei mai mari guru in management ai timpurilor noastre, Tom Peters, este 'Cultiva-ti reteaua de Prieteni'! Daca in urma cu ceva ani eram toti concentrati pe 'relatia verticala' si loialitatea noastra fata de un sef si o organizatie, ceea ce spune cele mai multe despre noi si cat de multe putem face in ziua de astazi este reteaua mai degraba orizontala pe care o avem, reteaua de prieteni. de Alexandra Georgescu, HumanInvest

In lumea de azi, in continua miscare, conteaza din ce in ce mai mult cu cine iti petreci timpul si pe cine cunosti. E lumea in care succesul depinde de puterea brandului tau personal si brandul tau personal este dat de reputatia pe care o ai in cercul tau de cunoscuti. Sunt convinsa ca stiti macar un exemplu in care cineva, cu un post super-tentant de oferit intreaba: 'Stii pe cineva potrivit?'. Iar intrebarea e: cate persoane - cercul tau de cunoscuti - vor spune despre tine: 'Daca vrei idei noi si multa energie, sun-o pe Maria! Sunt putini oameni atat de dedicati si care isi stiu atat de bine munca! Plus, e foarte tare sa lucrezi cu ea!'

Ce spune reteaua pe care o ai despre tine? Pentru ca, asa cum am mai scris, brandul personal este reflectia noastra regasita fidel intr-o radiografie a cercului nostru de prieteni. Si daca asta pare abstract, mai bine o poveste care sa va indemne la o scurta analiza! O analiza cu voi insiva, sincera si la rece. Mai bine mai tarziu decat niciodata :)!

Povestea nu stiu cand incepe... intriga i se pierde in negura timpului si primele lucruri de care imi amintesc sunt deja desfasurarea actiunii: eram in Galati, copilaria la bloc, si ma imprieteneam cu toata lumea: de la fetele de varsta mea pana la copiii tigani din cartierul din spatele blocului. La bunica-mea, tot la bloc, eram prietena cu fetele, baietii, adolescentele si tinerele mame ale blocului. Tot in lista de favoriti intrau si prietenele bunicii, iar seara la povesti pe banca de la bloc eram la catarama! In cercul meu se aglomerau de-a valma fete si baieti, tineri si batrani, oameni cu atatea stiluri de viata, obiceiuri si realitati!

Cred ca in timp, facand parte din mine, obiceiul a devenit normalitate si la varsta la care am inceput sa pot palpa notiunea de valori personale, diversitatea a tronat la rang inalt ca un mod de a face lucrurile, de a trai viata. Au fost episoade in care am infruntat cu bravura certurile alor mei ca umblu cu 'neispraviti' (a se intelege 'prea putin intelectuali'). Au fost momente in care am invatat enorm doar pentru ca am trait langa un om atat de diferit, momente in care m-am indragostit fulgerator doar pentru ca simteam diversitatea in spatele unor ochi.

Au fost momente in care toata diversitatea relatiilor mele a durut transformandu-se volatil in diferente de intelegere si ajungand un perete de strapuns cu ambitie si mainile goale! Dar in toate aceste momente, daca cineva avea nevoie de un dram de pasiune si de nebunie pentru un proiect sau o idee mai ciudata, stiu ca se gandeau la mine: 'Intreab-o pe Alexandra! A mai facut ceva de genul asta!', 'Vezi ce zice Alexandra! Sigur i s-ar parea interesant!'. Si asa, am ajuns sa fac radio in liceu, revista liceului, petreceri, discursuri, munca de ONG in facultate, joburi part-time pe langa facultate si voluntariat, sa fiu implicata in conferinte, initiative de invatare, noi fundatii si un internship in India.

Si pentru ca brandul personal e reflectat in ceea ce traiesti, ceea ce respiri si ceea ce simti, in continuare cercul meu de prieteni e divers 'aruncat' pe glob din Singapore pana in nordul Americii. Adunati la un loc, suntem un Babel contemporan cu povesti combinate, intretaiate si seamanand doar marginal. E ceva magic, atat de mult din mine in fiecare dintre ei si atat de mult din ei in eul si brandul meu personal! E sifonierul meu cu haine in atatea stiluri din atatea colturi de lume, e pasiunea mea pentru oameni, locuri, tari si zbor. E meseria mea care implica atatea interactiuni, atatia oameni, de orice varsta, de oriunde si oricum.

Si deocamdata, povestea se opreste acum... De deasupra unei mari albastre, din avion, in drum spre alti prieteni dragi. Circumstantial dependenta de zbor si iremediabil dependenta de diversitate.

Latest thoughts on web

2008-05-29T13:16:00.002+03:00

Ca de obicei incerc sa "ma scot" cu lucruri pe care le-am scris e drept, prin alte locuri insa :P...

Gasiti ultimele doua seturi de ganduri personale aici:

Paradoxul Alegerilor http://www.121.ro/content/show_article.php3?article_id=5739&page_nr=1

Dead-line-uri imposibile? http://www.feminis.ro/feminis/cariera/cum-sa-faci-fata-unor-dead-line-uri-imposibile-614

si ca sa nu fiu total nasoala, ganduri despre viata si alegeri... cum ar trebui sa alegem ceea ce ni se potriveste?

Cred ca busola care ne poate da in mod definitoriu sentimentul de satisfactie sau dimpotriva cel de lipsa de satisfactie intr-un loc de munca este cea emotionala. Cred foarte mult in capacitatea acestei „busole” interne de a ne arata mereu „nordul” chiar si atunci cand nu avem toata informatia sau toate argumentele pragmatice.

Ce este foarte important, ca atunci cand simtim emotional ca locul nostru nu mai e acolo unde suntem acum sau ca inclinam catre un anumit post, o anumita organizatie, sa nu uitam sa dublam tendinta emotionala de un set de argumente pragmatice foarte importante pentru noi! Dar in aceasta ordine si nu invers. Pentru ca daca incepem cu o decizie strict pragmatica pe care apoi incercam sa o sondam la nivel emotional rezultatele s-ar putea sa fie viciate doar de simplul fapt ca deja „intelectual” am luat o decizie si, de fapt, nu mai suntem deschisi la orice solutie!

Pasi concreti: Analizeaza cum te simti in primul rand cu alegerea pe care o ai de facut: ce te atrage, ce ti se pare „sexy”, ce iti face inima sa bata mai repede, care e chimia. Da, exact ca la un inceput de relatie! Dupa ce simti ca intelegi care este inclinatia ta emotionala, verifica optiune prin niste filtre pragmatice. De exemplu, te atrage o organizatie dar pragmatic nu ti se potriveste postul care ti se ofera. Ai grija totusi ca filtrele pragmatice sa nu „omoare” decizia. Mai degraba incearca sa testezi optiunea de care te simti atrasa. Profita daca se poate de o perioada de proba sau de vizite la locul in care vei lucra, discutii cu viitorul manager, viitorii colegi etc.

hugs,
lexy

Calatorie in timp...

2008-04-23T11:19:00.002+03:00

Sau altfel spus, un alt articol! De gasit aici: http://www.121.ro/content/show_article.php3?article_id=5610 sau mai jos...

Cateodata ma gandesc ca e ceva in neregula cu perceptia pe care o avem despre scoala... sau despre maturizare...

Imi amintesc (destul de vag) ca inainte sa intru la scoala multa lume ma intreba "ce vreau sa ma fac cand voi fi mare?" si la vremea aceea dadeam raspunsuri fundamentate exclusiv pe latura emotionala: "vreau sa ma fac actrita" apoi "vreau sa devin balerina" cand deja incepusem cursurile de balet. Va amintiti si voi perioada asta? E perioada in care majoritatea copiilor iti vor da un raspuns direct din suflet, bazat pe ceea ce ii inspira si ii conecteaza emotional. De cate ori nu ati auzit un "vreau sa ma fac doctor", "vreau sa devin fotbalist", "vreau sa fiu pilot de formula 1" sau "vreau sa ma fac superman" ori "vreau sa devin printesa"? In perioada de care vorbim, vi s-au parut vreodata absurde raspunsurile de mai sus? Ei bine, poate superman sau printesa mai smulgeau cate un zambet dar niciodata, niciodata la varsta aia, nu erau contestate!

Mai clar imi amintesc ziua in care nu am putut sa mai merg la balet! Eram deja la scoala si parea ca prefer sa dansez mai degraba decat sa fac teme. Alerta! Pentru ca scoala era cea mai importanta, bineinteles ca s-a terminat povestea cu baletul si a trebuit sa "ma tin" de scoala! Revin, cred ca e ceva in neregula cu perceptia noastra despre scoala... e momentul in care balerinele trebuie sa se aseze si sa stea cuminti in banca, in care pilotii trebuie sa sa-si adune gandurile si sa demonstreze cel mult intelectual cum forta centripeta te poate destabiliza pe ipotetica pista de curse. E momentul in care fotbalistii tinuti in casa la teme "mor", ca sa se faca ingineri si printesele invata ca doar daca devii contabil ai siguranta zilei de maine.

Ulterior, unii din noi evadeaza! Pilotii de formula 1 sunt IT-isti campioni la nfs si lfs (n.a. need for speed si live for speed- jocuri PC), supermanii au ajuns campioni la World of Warcraft, iar printesele lasa jumatate de salariu lunar in mall ca sa uite de cat de mult s-au indepartat de ceea ce si-au dorit si cat de mult le displace "job-ul". Si aici ajung si la "maturizare"... Definitia mea? Maturizarea este perioada aia ciudata, in care toata lumea incearca sa iti spuna ca trebuie sa ai siguranta zilei de maine si ca iti trebuie o specializare care sa iti dea un post sigur, la o firma mare, cunoscuta. Maturizarea este perioada aceia in care toata lumea din jurul tau stie mai bine decat tine ce ar trebui tu sa faci si cum si cand si de ce! Maturizarea este momentul in care iti uiti visele, cedezi "presiunilor" si te consolezi rational cu ideea ca e normal ceea ce ti se intampla pentru ca li se intampla si multor altora din jurul tau!

Si totusi, ce faci atunci cand, intr-un mare moment de sinceritate, singur cu tine insuti, admiti ca ceea ce faci nu ti se potriveste? Primul sfat? Uita de rational! Vocea aceia interioara care incearca sa te convinga de cat de logic e ceea ce faci, e prima care trebuie sa taca! Numarul doi? Uita de ce vor altii de la tine si aminteste-ti de ce vrei tu de la tine! Ca individ vei fi cu adevarat valoros facand in primul rand ceea ce-ti place tie, ce te energizeaza, ce te pasioneaza si te "aprinde" din interior ca dragostea la prima vedere! Numarul trei? Aminteste-ti ca prea tarziu nu e niciodata azi!

Si ca sa va dau curaj, am sa inchei cu paragraful de admiratie: o admir pe prietena mea Ana, care satula de explorari in joburi cu multe ore de munca si prea putina pasiune, s-a intors la un vis si va termina curand facultatea de design, specializarea fashion marketing! Iar ca recomandari? Mie mi-a prins tare bine acum ceva timp sa citesc Ayn Rand - "The Fountainhead" si s-a completat bine cu Malcom Gladwell -"Blink" (in romana "(S)clipirea").

Dependenta de munca

2008-04-04T09:41:00.002+03:00

Cineva mi-a pus cateva intrebari pentru un articol... parte din ele interesante :). m-am distrat raspunzand si mai jos... rezultatul. (romanian this time around...)

Este succesul in cariera = workaholism?

Cu certitudine succesul in cariera nu este echivalent cu “dependenta de munca” sau workaholism! In acelasi timp este adevarat ca este foarte prezent “folclorul” conform caruia cele doua sunt dependente si direct proportionale.

Daca privim din punctul de vedere al angajatului -al individului- succesul profesional consolidat se obtine din echilibrul intre viata personala si cea profesionala. Din perspectiva organizationala “mecanica”, este o alta ecuatie simpla: cu cat mai multe ore de munca cu atat mai mare “productia”.

Dilema eterna de management: organizatia mecanism sau organism?

Este organizatia un mecanism de “exploatat” la maxim de capacitate productiva pentru a genera profit cat mai mare pana in momentul in care uzura il face de nefolosit sau este organizatia un organism viu care trebuie “udat”, tinut la “lumina” si ingrijit constant pentru a da roade si a creste de la an la an, mai lent dar mai sustenabil?

Presiunea vremurilor pe care le traim si rata schimbarilor ne cere de multe ori atat de multa energie pentru prezent incat nu reusim sa mai pastram si pentru a vedea in viitorul pe termen mediu sau lung. E ca si cum am merge cu privirea in jos ca sa nu ne udam pantofii dar ne-am lovi cu crestetul de un indicator pentru ca nu am apucat sa ne uitam si in sus.

In ce masura depinde succesul in cariera de o doza de workaholism?

In aceeasi masura in care depinde nevoia de a incepe o cura de slabire de ceea ce percepem noi ca si “standard de frumusete”!

Exista organizatii care implicit pun o presiune tip “90-60-90” pe angajati: daca nu petreci suficient de multe ore la birou si nu faci sacrificii personale, nu esti “in tipare”. Ceea ce este chinuitor chiar daca ajungi la “dimensiunile” dorite.
Exista organizatii in care poti fi “si grasa si frumoasa” si asta de multe ori te aduce si mai devreme acasa :).
Cele mai consistente si puternice organizatii, rare insa, sunt cele care au capacitatea sa inspire un stil de viata sanatos dar si o convingere interioara puternica in a alege cele mai potrivite metode de a-ti atinge obiectivele! E decizia de a manca mai sanatos pentru ca VREI sa ai mai multa energie nu pentru ca TREBUIE sa ai mai putine kilograme.

Cat de greu este sa faci distinctia intre cei doi termeni?

Din nou, depinde foarte mult de mediul in care lucrezi. Asa cum spuneam, in unele organizatii cultura implica echivalenta dintre cei doi termeni. Si este ca un cerc vicios: intri intr-o organizatie, realizezi ca masura succesului tine de cat de “dependent” poti fi de munca ta, incepi sa acorzi din ce in ce mai mult timp serviciului si asta iti lasa din ce in ce mai putina energie si timp pentru a observa cat de mult ti s-a distorsionat perspectiva! E ca si cum te-ai inchide in casa preocupat sa acoperi fisurile din tencuiala fara a realiza ca din afara, vecinii vad cum casa ta e luata de o alunecare de teren.

Dependenta de munca este in aceeasi masura o cale catre succes cat este dependenta de alcool o cale catre fericire: stare de bine garantata dar cu dureri de cap si riduri premature.

De ce unele companii din Romania incurajeaza workaholismul?

In mare masura datorita presiunilor din mediu si a ratei de schimbare foarte ridicate. Factorii de mai sus genereaza mai departe presiune pe nivelul de efort impus fiecarui angajat, genereaza o doza mare de reactivitate si impiedica indivizii si organizatiile din a mai gasi timp si energie pentru eforturi proactive de anticipare si gandire pe termen mediu si lung.

Un exemplu graitor este cel al unui departament de resurse umane care datorita fluctuatiei foarte mari de personal (“uzura” rapida) este mult prea ocupat cu recrutarea (rezultat pe termen scurt) pentru a mai putea dezvolta angajatii (rezultat pe termen mediu si lung).

Sau altfel spus, suntem intr-o barca in care intra atat de multa apa incat toata lumea este preocupata si epuizata de aruncatul apei peste bord! Consecinta: nimeni nu mai are timp si energie sa peticeasca barca iar capitanul striga enervat ca daca nu muncim mai mult ne scufundam cu totii!

a state of mind...

2008-03-06T19:08:00.002+02:00

as too many thoughts and daily irrelevancies cluttered in lately, i had a nihilist fist last evening... nothing major, just one of those denial phases when you gotta go low enough to feel that you're higher after. one of those phases of mine in which I'd rather feel i don't belong and still be part of it all rather than feel that my belongingness engulfs me in a glittered trap.

at 8 am this morning i started a yogilates class (mixture of yoga and Pilates) that luckily brought me back spiritually into my ballet- classes times. it seems i might have slayed a piece of the demon through this.

tmr on my way to Vienna. meeting most of my former eb, plus boyfriends :). I'm so ready for some long chatting, drinking, provoking nights and days that shall slowly fall into one another as one :).

may you be chilled!

The Biological Monster or Eight Reasons why Babies-Making needs a Gantt

2008-01-24T11:44:00.000+02:00

Yesterday was my B’Day. And as always, it’s the usual well-wishing, happily drinking with friends routine. Still, as always, it’s the usual too much introspection, post aging-depression routine.

Conclusion? Each year it’s increasingly surprising and equally intriguing to (re)discover myself and the monster population within :). This year I shall call it the Biological Monster. This year, as never before, the 24 hrs aka 1440 minutes aka 86400 seconds aka a drop in the life of the Universe made a lot of difference and abruptly rose to life a new monster: The Biological Monster.

Definition: The Biological Monster is defined as a form of life generated in the depths of the subconscious. It is empowered by the lengthy family tree that connects me to my cave grand-grand-mother and programmed more accurately than the latest software on my laptop to preserve the species and give birth to the next generation while in bloom and full capacity.

Symptoms: for us “modern urban working women” the Biological Monster usually starts its active life at the bridge between the age of 25 and 26. It slowly but surely gains control by the age of 30 unless systematically eliminated in the meantime and it erupts on your 30th B’day in the form of a generalized and hopeless depression followed by symptoms of diminished self-worth and increased unjustified meaninglessness. Most common ways of extermination are work-alcoholism, alcoholism and/or “no man good enough for me”-ism. Side effects: All above treatments are considered to be radical and potentially harmful for the whole organism up to the potential extermination of the host in case of severe overdose.

The Biological Monster and I. At first (yesterday) it kindda' freaked me out... Than it gave me bad dreams related to the effects of work-alcoholism and “no man good enough for me”-ism. In the morning I decided to accept its presence and make it a nice hut to reside in. During the day I accepted a first defeat by my grand-grand- mothers through their transmissible monster creature: if my being 25 yesterday was plus one year without becoming accidentally pregnant (that in my world equaled tragedy), my being 26 turned into minus four years by the time you GOTTA have a baby! Confusing, huh? It kindda’ feels like starting off on a marathon race and after almost ten long years of running someone pops up and starts screaming: “You stupid!!!!! You have only four more years left to get back where you started off! The bloody ‘starting’ line is actually the ‘finish’ line!!! What? They told you something else ten years ago? Forget about it! Make it back in four years tops! It’s the new strategic PRIORITY!!!”

It’s past midnight and I wonder how in the world would a smart chick like me tear down in four what has been build (and restored and reinforced) in ten... How in the world do you tackle with a ten-year full time job when your boss pops up one random Monday morning and lets you know he’s just figured that your work is crap and you have four more years to undo it all? So... one coffee later it dawns on me: let’s start with a Gantt!

The benefits:

1. Besides being numb, I’m scared. It’s like my first sales meeting. Best way to keep stuff from happening? Take time in planning how they should happen!

2. Never be satisfied with the amount or quality of the info and resources available! And in order for your lack of satisfaction to be justified, make a Gantt to show the challenging needs of such strategic project!

3. A Gantt is trendy and profiles you as knowledgeable! Action is the dusty old school of the cave grand-mother while planning is the buzz of the modern birth-control pills century :).

4. Doing a Gantt shows (again) you DID something! Goals not reached are the victims of the context not the effects of inaction. What? Action? Planning IS action!!!

5. There are some inalienable truths of our times: purses are to match your shoes and incidentally carry your stuff; mobiles are to fit your status and incidentally enable you communicate; Gantts are to show that you care and incidentally lead to action and yes, sex is to give us pleasure and incidentally “produce” babies! Du-u-uh!

6. The Gantt to the action is like sex to babies-making: should get you there or... make you think you’re doing it already!

7. We live in complicated times: I barely get to visit my parents and you tell me I can do more without planning more?

8.Planning well but failing to implement still leaves me with a good plan! Hmmm... I can sell it and become a Babies-Making consultant :)! Who wouldn’t invest some money in order to righteously postpone an action that requires taking full responsibility?

These being said, I feel like the first real chances to kick-ass show up... And if Gantt doesn’t do the job I’ll just start with the Climate Change lessons and the Increased Population Pressure issue on the planet that the ancestral Biological Monster is ignorantly unaware of! Or... maybe I give in one day...

Hugs,
Lexy. Minus four. In denial. Busy planning.

Lady-like Clumsiness?

2008-01-24T11:42:00.000+02:00

Till the age of 10 I imagined myself a soon-to-become princess. I had a dead-line and all, that by the age of 16 I shall be one! I was gracefully carrying myself through the 40 sqm flat as if it were a royal palace and trying to be as blue blooded as it gets while in the same time wearing high-heeled double my size shoes.

Till the age of 18 I was posing as the rebellious rock-star-to-be princess. I had the black long boots even at 30 degrees Celsius in the summer, loads of black in my wardrobe and leather bracelets covering my wrists. All that with a precious pose and the hair dyed black. Ah! And with a mum that was almost going nuts since she was not really seeing the princess behind the all-black :)!

In more recent times I grew fond of Amelie the French neighborhood princess, Liv Tyler the elfish princess or Kate Blanchet as queen Elisabeth – more than a princess. In more recent times I wake up some mornings feeling lady-like and go to sleep some evenings feeling child-like. In more recent times I can go for more lady-like clothes but still fall for childish accessories. In more recent times I can do the royal smile more but can’t be clumsy less.

So I ask you: is clumsiness lady-like still? This morning after a four and a half hours sleep and a race against the clock to be out of the house I was asking myself just that after tripping in front of my client’s office at half past eight, cell in one hand and purse in the other. I mean, boots and skirt and purse and cell were all lady-like and shinny on a rainy morning but not being able to keep yourself from falling due to hands full has definitely raised a question!

Who are the princesses of our times? Who are the ladies that are ladies? I mean for sure not the vulgar ones, the clothes too tight and smile too fake ones, the all too Gucci or all too Prada ones, the fake D&G ones and the fake F cup ones... Neither the strident hair dyed ones or the too much make-up ones... But... Could they be the clumsy ones? Could they be the not so perfect ones? Could I be one if after a rough morning I can still get myself off the pavement with a smile :)?

ALEXANDRA by name

2007-08-30T12:19:00.000+03:00

Gender: Feminine
Usage: German, Scandinavian, Dutch, English, Greek, Portuguese, Romanian, Czech, Hungarian, Slovak, Ancient Greek
Other Scripts: Αλεξανδρα (Ancient Greek)
Pronounced: ah-lek-SAHN-drah (German), ah-luk-SAHN-drah (Dutch), al-eg-ZAN-dra (English) [key]

Feminine form of ALEXANDER. This was the name of the domineering wife of Nicholas II, the last czar of Russia.

From the Greek name Αλεξανδρος (Alexandros), which meant "defending men" from Greek αλεξω (alexo) "to defend, help" and ανηρ (aner) "man" (genitive ανδρος).

This name was most famously borne by Alexander the Great, King of Macedon. In the 4th century BC he built a huge empire out of Greece, Egypt, Persia, and parts of India. The name was later used by emperors of Russia, kings of Scotland and Yugoslavia, and eight popes. Another notable bearer was Sir Alexander MacKenzie, an explorer of the north and west of Canada in the 18th century.

For those of you celebrating your name by orthodox calendar today: "sa traiti cu numele!" :)

Un gusto dell'Italia...

2007-08-29T18:25:00.000+03:00

Upon returning from my italian holiday I find myself kindda lost for words that would encapsule the entire experience... it's just a strong feeling, a cross between images of green and blue and more blue, sounds of words and songs and more songs, taste of salty sea-water and wine and more wine :)...

"Coprimi la testa con la sabbia sotto il sole

quando pensi che sian troppe le parole...

Dimmi se c'è ancora sulle labbra il mio sapore

quando pensi che sia troppe le paure...

Parlami d'amore se quando nasce un fiore mi troverai senza parole amore.

Parlami d'amore se quando muore un fiore ti troverai senza respiro amore."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqrP0rPcqi0

"Muoia quello che è altro da noi due

almeno per un poco

almeno per errore.

[...] paure io non ho,

niente da fare, questo è quello che so fare

Io non posso che adorare

non posso che leccare questo tuo profondo amore."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqpTt0Rrwx0

PS: soon more pictures to come on facebook :)

The Asphaltic Hell

2007-07-25T21:29:00.000+03:00

7:00 am. I linger between heavy dreaming and the suffocating air around me that makes me choke and imposes a forced wake-up on me. The fan that has been left on for so many days now it seems built in the furniture of the room gives out a faint wave of air. Hot air. All around me, as I slowly came back to senses is nothing but heat, sweat and violent hot metal sunrays.

7:30 am. I shower. And I am so filled with unjustified anger, I feel like screaming in anger but my voice has no power to express the feelings inside. I think and feel with my whole body: I hate! The house, the heat, the immovable air. I feel possessed by all strange demons inside me that have been brought back to life by my temporary incapacity to be a rational human being. The heat envelops my body and presses it against itself, it’s turning it inwards.

8:00 am. I dress up. Between the anger and the leftovers of heavy dreaming, between the exhaustion and the incipient dementia. I feel abandoned and betrayed. My house, the safe, all-protecting cave has failed me terribly this time. And I feel as if I shall never be able to get over it. The heat monster is devouring me slowly from inside and my house is its ally against me.

7:00 pm. Leave office late. I feel like I have turned the faith of the battle by closing myself within AConned premises throughout the day. One step outside in the asphaltic hell and I know I was wrong! The whole city cries in anger and frustration. Voiceless, devoid of power of expression. But you can feel its deep wounds, its soundless suffering and its near-faint tiredness after days of heat-inflicted insomnia. The sun is still, merciless and punishingly hot up in the steel sky. No clouds! No breathing air. And two and a half more hours to go till the torturer goes to sleep...

I feel exhausted. And possessed. And in pain, suffering for sins that all humankind has committed for years against the earth, assuming that they shall never come back at us...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/6915766.stm

The Awaited Generation

2007-06-15T16:57:00.000+03:00

My first published article, on the young generation of romanian employees :). A passion keeps being a passion ;).

here's the link to romanian original version: http://www.cariereonline.ro/index.php/articles/Generatia_asteptata and below the translation of most of it. Hope you enjoy it!

"Bucharest, Thursday after work. On a terrace with a few good friends. Young, talented and energetic. With loads of business ideas, managers under 30 and internationally exposed. People who find it normal to hop on a plane for a business trip, to have a 24/24 h internet connection and believe that work is a means not a purpose in itself.

Who are we? The first generation for which communism is merely a history lesson. The first generation for which technology is not a luxury but a way of life. The first generation that grew up on MTV and fast-food, that lived hip-hop and found it normal to tell what we believe. We are a generation for which change is not an exception but a state of facts, for which wars, bombings and terrorism are the distant but constant background. Life is short then. And unpredictable. Why not feel it’s worth getting up each morning?

So why feel special, though? Because we have been so often told since ’89 that we are the “awaited generation” that we have started to believe it: you just need us! Because the “transition” society we have grew up with taught us that you have to “get around” and we ended up teaching our parents how to do that, too. And since we grew up in the midst of the excitement for “freedom of speech” we indulge into it fully: both the freedom and the speeches. So, as the world today proves that nothing lasts forever we have loyalty to be won not to be bought!

HiPo – how things work. We do not respond well to classic command and control management. Since we grew up questioning our parents we shall do the same with our bosses. Not knowing how to swallow our tongues might be just fine but not when your 50 year-old manager shouts: “Do this and do it now!”

The proper environment will generate though quick, innovating, spectacular results! Strategic directions?

1. It takes a context, not a job!– unlike our elders we do not seek job security that much but rather the context for our abilities to develop, for our strengths to be recognized, where we have flexibility, place for creativity and people willing to listen to us when there’s something to be told.
2. Strategy “access to opportunities” not “tasks” – we do not want to be told do this and that; it is important for us to see the opportunities that lie beyond tasks for our continual growth and added value.
3. From “study” to freely expressed curiosity – after 18 years of “studying” in various institutions where people with position power forced me into memorizing without necessarily reasoning the meaning behind, now I rather have it in a different way! For what motivates me most is the freedom of exploring my own curiosities! The people I admire stir my curiosity in being able to understand their perspective, in developing to where they are. The freedom of choices and expressing my curiosities teaches me how to be responsible for what I have chosen.
4. The power of a network – HiPos are the internet, LinkedIn and Facebook generation. We are the “switched-on” generation, that is chatting, mailing and talking on the mobile! The networks we connect with are a great deal of our personal power, our knowledge and relationships power! We need managers to know and support that! We need managers that know why personal time is important and talking on the mobile in any free moment is part of the career development plan. ‘Cause connected we’ll evolve faster while alone we linger!
5. Results and a “stage”! – A HiPo aspires to work faster and better than others. A HiPo wants results from Day 1. We want smaller objectives with tighter dead-lines so we can measure our success! And at dead-line, instead of getting on to the next task, we need a round of applause with pics, cheers and hugs! Because in the world of entertainment, brands and multiple options, the “on stage” recognition is the key!"

All the Small Things...

2007-06-15T15:25:00.000+03:00

Like the white-foamy tops of sea-waves, the smiles, the laughters, the wind in the hair, sunset, sunrise, a touch, a chat...

summer came! went to the seaside.

seabreeze is the latest resident of my soul :).

check out pics: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10517&l=0a30f&id=509192558

"Change the World" today?

2007-06-05T09:12:00.000+03:00

As I do some mornings, I took an on-line test. Today on "How Will I Change the World?". After 12 questions, results are flattering but nevertheless, an added drive to stick to my plans and dreams and concerns and DO something. And what's more, I paste it down here so that if I look back and realise at any time I have forgotten any of it, it will slap me so hard that I awake.

Really recommend it to you as well! As said not as much for the test itself as for making sure you give yourself at least a five minutes' time to think and reflect on the topic :).

Wishing you a cool-happy-change day!

You'll Change The World As A Leader!

A go-getter like you knows the world’s problems aren’t about to fix themselves. And if no one takes the lead, how can any real change happen?

Courageous and hard-working, you have a talent few others share. No doubt, when you enter anything from a party to a classroom to a boardroom, the spotlight turns your way. And with your ability to motivate and inspire, why shouldn’t it?

Could the history books potentially read Gandhi, Mandela and you? It’s possible. When it comes to combating world hunger and poverty, you’re just the sort who can affect change. Whether you enlist your friends to help build housing for the poor, or organize an anti-hunger rally on a college campus, a leader like you has the special knack to make things happen.

Find out how you will change the world.

Join the HungerMovement.org community.

A Thought on Spring

2007-04-05T10:27:00.001+03:00

gold on green, originally uploaded by LexyG.

Although it somehow feels like X-mas was just a few days ago, here comes Easter on Sunday.
The good feel about it? Peace. The thought of going home, of spending some laid back days with Bogdan, my family and my dogs. The smell of fresh cut grass, the colour of new leaves, the springish air...

A delicate anxiousness woke me up this morning and an awsome feel of unwinding muscles and brains!

I wish you all peace! Peace of mind for at least one day, one day in which to see how all around is being reborn, one day to take in the vibes and the excitement of a new begining! Enjoy!!!

Visual DNA

2007-04-03T11:17:00.000+03:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Cool Friends – p. I – The Boat

2007-02-28T12:57:00.000+02:00

An incredible part of my journey are my friends. The closest people to me, those that support and inspire me into being who I am, into being involved in things I love beyond rational judgments of normality.

This morning upon waking, I have decided they will be here more and more often than before. But the first “chapter” I would like to share is simply entitled “The Boat”.

What is “The Boat”? Or better said, what is the story behind?

The story started on a cold winter night with splashes of icy water on our heads. It was in early 2003 and the 6 of us (residents of “The Boat”) have had just been elected as leadership team of our local committee (Bucharest) in AIESEC. It was the unconscious part of the ride.

Later on, in spring the same year, we gathered at Salma’s house to put together our vision for the next year as leadership team and (although we did not realized at the time) came up with a vision that would glue us together ever since. That was the unnamed birth of “The Boat”.

One year later, in 2004, as our roads as a team were due to part, we realized that what we had stood for together would still be valid for us. And as it had to have a name, it was called “The Boat”.

“The Boat” is the symbolic description of a group of individuals that, joined by a common belief in individual uniqueness and authenticity pledged to focus on supporting their growth and the development of others, for a sustainable future.

Now, one crazy cool member of the gang has just been elected the President of AIESEC International!!!!!! Gabiza, the one who spent more than two thirds of her life actively involved in education! In terms of enthusiasm, energy and inspiration, she definitely in the “you-must-know-her” section!

Two other fierce ;) ladies, Alexis and Norica, the first managing leadership development programs for sustenability with Two Wings (in Vienna) and Norica actively developing CSR within PwC from Bruxelles, have just been part of an amazing perspective-changing conference, Solutions developed within the AIESEC network. Congrats on all the cool things I heard/read on it!

Salma, the present adventurer of the group has just taken the bold decision of spending two more years in GE Australia!!! I bow to you and your guts ;)!

Liviu, also a great sailor in troubled water, is now with Coca-Cola marketing and I’m sure he’s assimilating all possible strategies in the field!!!

So, that’s for us and “The Boat” today, a big thank you for being who you are! Keeping close...

Hugs, Lexy

on colva beach...

2007-02-08T16:38:00.000+02:00

on colva beach..., originally uploaded by LexyG.

Same but Different |A new year, some new perspectives

2007-02-08T16:27:00.000+02:00

me flowers, originally uploaded by LexyG.

So it’s a new year! Not just since it’s twenty-oh-seven but mostly since I just “graduated” my first quarter-century on planet earth!

And all was maybe same as turning ten or sixteen or twenty-three but still, it was all so different! My first summerish B-day! Being back in India! Another B-day with Bogdan (and looking forward to many more to come ;))!

If I should define my turning 25, it should be: radically different perspective, pacified brains and a steady heart with a long-term view!

As for being in India at the time… it was a bit like being back in childhood places. It is the place where I had to be a child again 2 years back in order to grow up. It was the place where I’ve experienced the biggest challenges and the sweetest discoveries. And it’s the place where I’ve sworn to return time and time again. And so, I have not only kept my promise but also gave the place a bigger space within by offering the day, the one day within a year when I most reflect and cherish being born ;).

Back at home, there’s the bitter-sweet taste of the adventure still residing, along with a sublime sense of inner-peace! I have grown up some more and did my pilgrimage back to India, my personal Mecca, showing my gratitude for all that I have in life on Indian soil and unveiling some of India’s mysteries to my loved one!

And still home, while being randomly complimented on my eyes at a crossroad I remembered that while India taught me the ups and downs of being different by skin and standing out, it is here at home where no inborn feature labels my distinction that I have made a pledge of being different still. By who I am and what I am for loved ones. And most of all, by being one of a kind in the arms of my love ;)!

Here’s one more for a fresh new year and… India, thanks for making me and breaking me! And making me anew!

Now I am here...

2006-11-01T03:08:00.001+02:00

novisad, originally uploaded by LexyG.

...in a hotel room overlooking the city. Novi Sad. Serbia.

One hour after I hanged up the phone home.
Eight hours after I ended a two-days training session.
Five days since I last sleeped at home.
Two months into this crazy rythm already...

Again, looking out of the window and looking back at the last 2 months...
24 days in trainings and on the road.
10 sessions, 8 different locations, 2 countries, some 300 participants, more than 50 cups of coffee.

So much less days at home so much more energy drops and stupid fights.

It's late. And i feel like a tired traveller making just another stop in another (maybe) random station.

I'll go to sleep and make sure i get the energy to freshly start the new day in front! Till then... sleep tight and enjoy! Wherever you are...

The Nocturne Cultural Dilemma

2006-11-01T02:43:00.000+02:00

22:30. Somewhere in Hungary. Dark and windy. Driving into the night I see a train barrier coming down. I swear (the delay) in my head. I stop the car.

Thinking about stepping off the car, I open the door. A pale of frozen wind hits my face. I quickly change ideas and shut the door close, retreating in the cozy warmth of the car. Just as I do this, I see outside a couple of pedestrians, stopped besides the car, at the barrier. Although she is obviously freezing, they wait. As I look at them I wonder: “Are they waiting for someone?”, “Why the hell are they waiting around in this cold?”.

10 minutes later, the train passes. I focus back on resuming the trip. But as I glance out the window, I realize in shock that the freezing couple is moving further on the sidewalk just as the barrier goes up. I look at them again, peacefully moving across tracks on the freshly cleared sidewalk and cannot stop asking myself “Why the f*&% were they waiting for so long?”

Within 2 minutes I realize (in even greater shock) that the question might be as well self-addressed: “Why the hell am I so shocked?”
Answer comes easy: I could bet that in Romania at no time and under no circumstances pedestrians would wait at the barrier. A Romanian pedestrian would move two steps to the right, get off the sidewalk, take a look to the left, one to the right and cross peacefully ignoring the barriers. As in, barriers are not for pedestrians, they are for the stupid! And those stupid drivers that need to wait since they can’t have such a “brilliant” alternative. Cause’ if they’d do… they’d use it!

Now I come back and try to sketch the bigger picture. Hungary is in the UE. We’re not. Yet. Will be, starting Jan the 1st. Hungarians apparently follow rules, respect systems even with the price o a frozen nose. Romanians’ wide belief is that rules are either for the dumber (as in, those that cannot manage a “combinatie”) or for those that would rather hide behind them to keep safe.

What do we make of this? Will we be an addition to the beloved union, the fresh blood with the “lateral” thinking? Will we be the burden of the misbehaved child? Will they insist on teaching us a “lesson”? Will we insist?

In 5 years from now, would I be waiting at a barrier in a freezing night or would I be walking straight around it and move on as if the barrier would not even exist?

The Story of a Second

2006-10-24T19:52:00.000+03:00

I close my eyes for a split second. In the darkness I can already hear the roar of the blood pushing upwards, towards my temples. It’s like the space within is getting smaller and smaller, it’s like part of me is succumbing into blackness and part of me is becoming more and more distant.

I open my eyes. I want to hear but there’s a thick fog around that blocks sight and hearing. I try to focus. My head hurts. I try to get the stream of thoughts and fears inline. Try to get myself back there. But somehow during the split second my being has parted from myself and I end up hanging in the distance, striving to regain control.

I close my eyes again. “Regain the balance!” “Shush the thunder drum in the temples!” “Get back, get back!” The more I try, the less I succeed. The more I fight it the more it takes over me. “Grab onto something!” I say to myself. But reality seems to be slipping and darkness and distance envelop.

I open my eyes. My hands are cold. Inside, a monstrous iceberg just sank the heat of my soul. I search myself… The fight seems to be over. I tend to rejoice. And then I refrain. The core of me is half melted and half stoned.

I linger. Between the burning ashes and the icy cold. Still alive though. A tiny teardrop makes its way from the corner of my eye, slowly downwards.

Disclaimer: all is well, we just strangely choose to ride the storms at times...