Self Improvement, Self Help, Time Management & Achieve Your Goals Blog

Exercise at Christmas Without the Gym

2005-12-03T21:46:00.000-08:00

Exercise at Christmas Without the Gym
7 great tips to keep up your fitness levels when getting to the gym is a problem over Christmas.

Gyms get pretty deserted around Christmas time. Everyone is so busy with preparations, parties and people visiting that it's hard to fit in getting there, getting changed and going through a routine as regularly as you might the rest of the year.

But don't give up on exercise completely - you'll find it far harder to get back in the swing of things if you do. Make exercise part of the fun and keep yourself ticking over until it's time to get back to the gym in January. Maybe you'll enjoy the alternatives so much you'll never go back!

1. Do less

Just do ten minutes if that's all you can manage. Ten minutes of anything - walking around the house or stair stepping or skipping or rebounding - anything that fits your level of fitness and the equipment you have available at home. You can do it in the morning before your shower and it will energise you for everything you have to get done. If you can fit in 10 minutes later on too, so much the better. You'll keep up your fitness levels and use a few calories which you can probably do with at this time of year.

2. Do a class at home

Fitness videos are great if you don't have much time. There's no getting to the gym - you have everything you need right at home. You can pick them up for next to nothing from charity shops or treat yourself to one or two for Christmas. And it doesn't matter if you don't know the moves or have the latest fitness gear - nobody's watching!

3. Clear Up

No doubt you have to get your home ready for friends and family visiting anyway so make the clear up a workout. Put lots of energy into it! Clear out all that clutter then clean, vacuum and polish everything until it gleams. You'll be ready for guests, keep up your fitness levels and use some calories all at the same time.

4. Active fun

If you have a lot of guests and can't get your usual exercise fix organise some active fun for everyone! You could all go bowling or skating. Or try a game of charades or Twister. If it snows, you can go sledging or organise a snowman building competition. At the very least get them all out for a walk every day whatever the weather. There are sure to be some lights to go and see or a local carol service to attend.

5. Dance the Night Away

Don't be a wallflower. Take every opportunity to dance at parties (it will keep you away from the buffet table too) or just invite your partner to go dancing over the holidays. You'll have fun, get closer and it'll be great exercise. Dancing uses up between 270 and 540 calories an hour depending on the speed.

6. Offer a helping hand

Get active by volunteering your services in your community. You can help serve lunch at a homeless shelter or old people's home. Or just help your neighbours with running errands and snow clearing. You'll get a warm glow from lending a hand as well as from the exercise and feel much better than you do after sitting around all afternoon watching the re-runs of "White Christmas".

7. Escape

And if all else fails, next year book a skiing holiday for your Christmas break instead of staying at home. There's a whole year to save up (and to dodge the rows when you tell your family you're going away next year!) Skiing is fantastic exercise and you'll come back fit, invigorated and without those extra few pounds so many seem to acquire over Christmas.

Copyright 2005, Janice Elizabeth Small

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About the Author
Janice Elizabeth is a weight loss coach and author of "The Diet Exit Plan", the system that promotes permanent healthy and AUTOMATIC weight loss through making small changes to your everyday habits. Visit http://www.SimplySlimming.com/Christmas today to get the Simply Slimming FREE ezine full of tips and recipes and a 24 page special report "How to have a Great Christmas without piling on the pounds".

Goal Setting and Vision Casting

2005-10-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

by Carolina Fernandez

"You don't get points for predicting rain. You get points for building an ark." Louis Gerstner, former Chairman and CEO of IBM

It's that time of year again: time to reflect back on the past year and evaluate relationships; examine areas where you spent your valuable time, money, and energy; ponder goals set last year and revise new ones accordingly; and count your many blessings.

As I spend time these next few days looking over notes from years past, I will make every effort to draft goals for the New Year that will help me move further down the path. To becoming more of the person whom I hope to become. My goal every year is to become more saint-like, and many areas in my life need to be addressed in order to help me evolve--step by step--to that end.

I will not suppose that what works for me will work for you. I will only share what I do in the hope that it might help you as you prepare for the coming New Year.

I rely on my Filofax, where I write all of my goals down in colored ink on colored paper. Over the years I have called my goals various things, but as of last year they became known as the "6 F's." Here goes...

1) FAITH

How can I get myself further down the spiritual path and become more saintlike? Specific steps I might record to get me closer to my goal would include: disciplined and consistent reading of scripture, journaling, reading books on spirituality, plugging into a charitable organization whose vision fits that of my family's, taking a mission trip, maintaining a "bloom where planted" attitude about life, etc.

2) FAMILY

How can our family--including my husband, our four kids, myself, and the dog--become the strongest and happiest group of people as we share life together? And what things do I need to be pro-actively instilling into our family's structure to ensure happy childhoods for each of our four kids? What is my vision for each child? What gifts and talents does this child have and what do we need to do to help him develop them for other people's benefit? Specific steps might include: planning a family summer vacation, replacing TV with a family reading night, investments in music lessons, commitment to sports teams, scheduling weekly date nights, etc.

3) FRIENDS

How can I maintain the many friendships that I have formed over the years given the great physical distances that separate us, and how can I form new friendships with people who cross my path? Specific steps would include scheduled trips to visit girlfriends, frequent long-distance phone calls, celebrating birthdays with gifts and cards, continuing Christmas gift-giving traditions, etc.

4) FINANCIAL

How do we become more financially independent? How do we reduce debt and increase wealth? Steps would include my making a list of a realistic number of books to sell, seminars to schedule, articles to write, investments to make, savings goals to meet, tithing commitments to keep, etc.

5) FITNESS

How can I maintain a health and fitness regimen that keeps me in optimal physical and emotional health--while maintaining kids who are too young to maintain themselves? Specific steps would include scheduling a realistic number of trips to the gym per week, weekly commitments to swimming and tennis, and to weight training, etc.

6) FUN

What things would I enjoy doing personally and with my family that would help me enjoy life to its fullest? I would include specific trips and dates with Ernie, plans for vacations with the kids, Broadway shows, season tickets to the philharmonic, oil painting classes, etc.

Studies show that people who record their goals IN WRITING have a much greater chance of accomplishing them. Spend quality time thinking about specific goals that you'd like to make in your life. Begin the process now. Let your sub-conscious absorb the goals and let it help you figure out ways in which to make these goals realistically attainable. Consider your life stage. A trip to the gym might be quite realistic for me but a pipe dream for you if you have a newborn or a couple of toddlers underfoot. Don't fret that your goals seem out of whack or not grand enough. Go easy on yourself and resolve to come up with goals that fit where you are and where you'd like to be by the end of the year. And remember to have fun with the process. Enjoy a glass of red wine and sit by the fire while you doodle your thoughts. Dream. Imagine.

ONE FINAL THOUGHT: Remember to count your blessings of this past year. Make a list. We are each coming to the dinner table New Year's Eve night with our individual Top Ten Lists. Consider making this a New Year's Eve tradition in your family, too. Nothing makes one feel better about the world than counting all the ways in which you have been uniquely blessed.

Please let me know if I can help you in your journey.

Have a blessed New Year. PEACE!

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. and worked at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch before coming home to work as a wife and mother of four. She totally re-invented herself along the way. Strong convictions were born about the role of the arts in child development; homeschooling for ten years provided fertile soil for devising creative parenting strategies. These are played out in ROCKET MOM! 7 Strategies To Blast You Into Brilliance. It is available on Amazon.com, in bookstores everywhere, or by calling 888-476-2493. She writes extensively for a variety of parenting resources and teaches other moms via parenting classes and radio and TV interviews. Please visit http://www.rocketmom.com to subscribe to her free ezine and get a weekly shot of inspiration.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Secrets of Setting Goals and Stategies for Achieving Them

2005-10-25T22:04:00.000-07:00

by Ann Marie Parisi

Webster’s Dictionary defines goal \.2 as the end toward which effort is directed.

Do you have goal(s) in your life? Have you reduced your goal(s) to writing? Studies have been done by respected universities which

indicate 90% of us never set goals; of the 10% who do, only 3% actually write them down. This latter group consists of some the most successful people in all fields of endeavor.

Goal Setting requires first of all specificity. In other words “to be a success” is not a valid goal. Rather goals should sound like this: “By 2010,

I will have my own Carvel Franchise in Brooklyn’s Bensonhurst Section” or perhaps: “By next year this time I will have completed my first novel and submitted the manuscript to 10 publishers.”

Goals need proper maintenance, small adjustments that build on the main goal.

Immediately and audaciously begin to take action. Refine your goal(s) more and more. Post visual images of your goal in prominent locations, like your bathroom mirror, your pillow, refrigerator, your work area, your car, your brief case, and any where else you might regularly eye it.

Write down the benefits of achieving your goal: I will be happier, healthier, wealthier, etc. when I achieve ‘your particular goal.’ Act as if you have achieved your goal and are just filling in the details of how you got there. Keep a smile on your face. Reward yourself for each positive step you take, and don’t beat your self up over miscues/minor failures. They are a part of the ‘rungs of the ladder’ that lead you to the top.

Consider every obstacle you might encounter, along the way. Develop strategies for handling each circumstance. Common obstacles you are likely to confront are naysayers, lack of capital, small failures, digressions, competition, poor time management, etc. Know beforehand how you will overcome any obstacle that comes your way.

Gain as much knowledge as you can about your goal. If your goal is to be an Indy Car Driver, learn every detail about the car, the track and the competition. If your goal is to be a sports agent learn every detail about your competitors (fees they charge, who their clients are, what their shtick is, where they hang out, when and how they approach clients).

Develop support groups/mentors, who can provide you honest advice and counsel, help you overcome obstacles and keep you motivated.

Construct a plan of action, and meticulously work the plan. A popular adage says: “People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan.” One common error is, mistaking activity for accomplishment.

Be committed. To paraphrase W. H. Macy, don’t be committed like a kamikaze pilot on his 12th mission.

Seek and seize opportunity. The mass of men call this luck; they believe success is serendipitous. As Zig Ziglar says: “Arise each morning when the ‘opportunity clock’ sounds” and greet God boldly with the words: “Lord we are going to have a great day.” Who could be a better partner than the Lord?

Remember you have the same number of hours in a day as any doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur, or for that matter, your average billionaire like Bill Gates. Use those hours wisely, “Age quod agis” – “do what you are doing,” always remaining focused. Understand you aren’t making sacrifices by giving up some habits and activities you enjoy, but rather that you are now investing your time and talent in yourself instead.

Don’t sit around waiting for things to happen. Make them happen. Ed McMahon isn’t going to knock on your door. If you want to succeed you must proceed without hesitation. Until you are truly committed and begin the journey to success, there is a good chance you may draw back. Don’t! Move forward and “seize the day.”

If you would like more information or personal assistance on setting and achieving goals contact Ann Marie or Al Parisi at lunchbagnotes.net.

Ann Marie is a teacher and author and speaker. She resides in Agoura Hills, California, with her co-writers and speakers, her brother Anthony and dad, Al.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Top 5 Relationship Advice Tips

2005-10-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

Relationship Advice--Tip List

1. Pick a partner that if stripped of everything materialistic (bank account, clothing, car, home etc.), you would still find interesting, funny, and attractive.

2. Find at least one thing you have in common with your partner and do whatever that is on a regular basis. No matter if you get that dream 60-hour work week job. No matter if you have 5 children! No matter if you had a huge fight last night. Do it.

3. If you have to go to bed angry at your partner, at least discuss that anger in a decible level lower than screaming before you do. Both parties should have a clear understanding of each person's side of the story whether they agree with that side or not.

4. Build trust. Do not require titles or labels until both parties feel you must define your relationship. Do not demand a total itinerary of the other person's day/night. Do not snoop. Do not play games.

5.Do not stay in a bad relationship for the wrong reasons. It only prolongs the inevitable. Examples: Length of time together, children, fear of the unknown, pity, waiting for other person to change etc.

This concludes the relationship advice tip list by GirlShrink.com All these tips are based in a core element of all relationships--communication. Much success in applying this relationship advice to your life.

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Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, writer, and speaker. She has been helping clients with all types of life issues since 1998. She is the Founder and Director of www.GirlShrink.com , a site that offers expert online advice, counseling and coaching for women on a variety of issues such as relationships, mental health and more. Get information about our free advice & other services by Clicking Here.
To subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices", please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter

Lisa Angelettie M.S.W.

Put your Mind & Body on "Autopilot" and reach your goals...automatically!

2005-10-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

By Dan Robey--Author of "The Power of Positive Habits"

Did you know that habits are incredibly powerful tools for personal growth
and success?

Think about the habits you have now and how they affect virtually every
aspect of your life. Your weight and health are determined by your eating
habits. Your relationships with people are determined by your social habits.
Your success at work is determined by your work habits. You have sleeping
habits that dictate how well you sleep. You have sexual habits. You even
have buying habits; just take a look around your house and you will quickly
see them. Our character, health and virtually every aspect of our lives are
indeed determined by our habits.

If you ask ten people on the street what the word habit means, nine out of
ten will tell you that a habit is a negative action that people do over and
over again, like smoking, or procrastinating, or eating too much. Bad habits
get all the press. Let‚s look at the results of just one bad habit: smoking.
Every year, over 400,000 people lose their lives to smoking-related
illnesses in the United States. Imagine then, the negative power that exists
in just that one bad habit. It is staggering.

Now I want you think about an even greater power, a power that can bring you
success, health and happiness; a power for positive, permanent, and
automatic personal growth: the power of positive habits. Let‚s look a little
closer at the meaning of the word habit. Random House dictionary defines
habit in this way:

Habit: An acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become
almost involuntary.

The important words in this definition are acquired and almost involuntary.
Let me ask you a question. When is the last time you sat down and said to
yourself, "Today I am going to add a new habit to my life?" I would venture
to guess that you have probably never said those words. As you read this
article, you will see how easy it is to add positive habits to your life and
the great power they have to change it. Think about the words almost
involuntary. This means the habit is so powerful in your mind that it is
almost unstoppable! With respect to bad habits like smoking,
procrastination, and overeating, this is very bad. But with positive habits,
this is very, very good.

What is a positive habit? A positive habit is simply a habit that produces
positive benefits, actions and attitudes you want to acquire and make a part
of your life. Why is there such great power in positive habits to effect
change? Because habits, by their very nature, are automatic. After a period
of time they can become permanent.

So how do we go about adding new positive habits to our life? It‚s really
quite easy. You simply begin repeating an action, attitude or thought
process every day for at least 21 days. Research has shown that an action
that is repeated for a minimum of 21 days is likely to become a permanent
habit. Remember that positive habits have positive benefits and you will
reap those benefits for as long as you maintain that habit. So now that we
know what positive habits are, and how to acquire them, let‚s look at some
simple positive habits directly from "The Power of Positive Habits" book
that will help you be more productive and have a healthier body.

"Positive Habit Number 56" - Be More Productive With the 4-D Habit

Many of us are stressed out by the negative effects of work overload in our
careers. The 4-D habit is a very simple positive habit that will help you to
prevent work overload. Every time you are faced with a new task to perform,
apply the 4 D‚s as listed below. You will find that your workload will be
reduced as you apply this screening and decision making tool to each task
you are confronted with. Decide on the most appropriate choice ˆ and take
action.

Do It Now ˆ take immediate action, do the task right away, don‚t
procrastinate.

Dump It Now ˆ make a quick decision and dump the task.

Delegate It ˆ give the task to someone else. This is a very critical aspect
of time management. Your time is valuable; make it a habit to work on tasks
that you do best and delegate the tasks that can be performed by someone
else.

Defer the Task ˆ make an immediate decision to postpone the task to a later
time. Make sure to schedule a time to complete it.

"Positive Habit Number 3" - Take Flax Every Day for a Healthy, Trim Body and
Lower Cholesterol!

What is flax?

Flax is a blue-flowering plant known for its oil-rich seed. People have been
eating flaxseed since ancient times, it has a pleasant, nutty flavor. The
health benefits of flaxseed and flaxseed oil are significant and for that
reason this habit is recommended as a primary habit for health and a trim
and fit body. Here are some of the benefits of flaxseed and flaxseed oil:

Flaxseed contains both soluble and insoluble fiber. Several studies have
shown that flaxseed can help to lower cholesterol in the same way that other
soluble fiber foods like oat bran and fruit pectin do. A study at the
University of Toronto showed that total cholesterol levels dropped 9% and
LDL (the "bad" cholesterol) decreased 18% among a group of women who ate
milled flaxseed cooked into bread every day for a period of 4 weeks.

Flaxseed is one of the richest sources of lignans and alpha-linolenic acid.
Studies suggest that lignans may help to prevent certain cancers. Flaxseed
is one of the few plants in the plant kingdom that provide a high ratio of
alpha-linolenic acid (an omega-3 fatty acid) to linoleic (omega-6 fatty
acids), it is an excellent source of healthy polyunsaturated fat.

A new study has confirmed that the positive habit of taking flax seed daily
can help you get a trim and fit body. I interviewed Dr. Sam Bhathena, a
researcher at the Phytonutrients Laboratory of the US department of
Agriculture, he said, "we have observed that flax seed meal is much more
effective in lowering cholesterol then soy. Several other studies have shown
that in general, omega-3 fatty acids,lower lipid deposition, and help in
reducing body weight."

Omega-3 fatty acids ˜ More than half the fat contained in flaxseed is
omega-3 fatty acid type, an essential fatty acid. There have been numerous
studies reporting the health benefits of consuming omega-3 fats. Recent
studies suggest that omega-3 fatty acids which are abundant in flax seed can
help protect you from coronary artery disease, stroke, high blood pressure,
autoimmune and inflammatory disorders. Studies on the effects of flax seed
on breast cancer are now under way. Omega-3s can also help boost your
metabolism, helping your body to burn calories faster.

Flax is available as raw seed, ground seed and also as an oil which is made
by cold pressing flax seeds. You can purchase raw flax seed, ground flax
seed and flax seed oil at most health food stores. The easiest way to
incorporate flax seed into your diet is to buy ground flax seed meal and add
it to your food.

· Substitute for cooking oil or shortening in baked goods.
· Add ground flax seed to pancakes, waffles and cereals.
· Put ground flax seed on salads.

Here is a great recipe for a super health shake. Make a protein shake with 8
ounces of your favorite juice such as apple or orange, add 2 tablespoons of
flax seed oil, 2 tablespoons of soy powder, 1 tablespoon of lecithin, fresh
fruit such as bananas, papayas or blueberries. Blend with a hand blender or
an electric blender. This power shake will provide you with the health
benefits of soy; omega-3‚s, fiber, antioxidants, and enzymes from the fruit,
and the fat loss benefits of lecithin.

Want more Positive Habits?

Dan Robey is having a special promotion to launch the new version of "The
Power of Positive Habits." which has dozens and dozens of scientifically researched
positive habits that will change your life and the lives of your children.

Order by Midnight July 17th and Dan will give you over $1,750 dollars in
life changing bonus gifts at no cost to you.
All these amazing bonus products are listed on the web site below,
(there are over 40 bonuses including fantastic e-books, e-courses,
audio programs and more..check it out)

Just click on the link below:

http://girlshrink.habits.hop.clickbank.net

By Dan Robey

Determining Your Self Worth

2005-10-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

Determining your self-worth is something that you do everyday.

Asking for a specific salary.
Asking the grocery store to stock better produce.
Requesting the waiter to bring back your entree HOT next time.

All these scenarios are examples of defining boundaries and determining self-worth.

If you feel only grateful to have gotten the interview and are afraid to ask for a competitive salary...you probably don't believe you are worthy of the job or the best salary.

If you are upset about the quality of your produce and hope for a better selection next time - what message are you sending? That it's fine for the store to sell you wilted lettuce and mushy tomatoes? Probably.

If your server brings you a cold entree and you rather not make waves by complaining - will you really feel satisfied with the meal you just ate? Don't you deserve to be pleased with a meal that you paid for?

People will only treat you, or pay you, or give you what you set your self-worth at.

If you find that you are having trouble raising the bar of your standards...you could use some self-esteem building exercises.

Once your self confidence grows it will be much easier for you to ask for what you are worth.

Self-esteem/confidence building resources:
The Self Esteem Workbook is a fantastic skills building resource.

Self Esteem For Women is a website completely dedicated to building a woman's self-esteem.

Hypnosis for Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem is like a professional hypnosis session on CD. No fluff or flowers!

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Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, writer, and speaker. She has been helping clients with all types of life issues since 1998. She is the Founder and Director of www.GirlShrink.com , a site that offers expert online advice, counseling and coaching for women on a variety of issues such as relationships, mental health and more. Get information about our free advice & other services by Clicking Here.

To subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices", please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter

Be That Friend

2005-10-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

by Marnie Pehrson

Have you ever felt like you were all alone? That nothing in your life seemed right and there was no light at the end of the tunnel? Those who face serious illness, financial setbacks, loss of loved ones, or even roadblocks in trying to achieve their goals and dreams often feel totally alone in their darkest hour.
Usually, I write about ways that we can help ourselves through challenges like this - like calling upon God, having faith, reframing the situation, looking for the silver lining, and basically hanging on until the light comes. But today, I'd like to talk about what you can do when you have a friend or loved one who is going through these types of challenges. How can you be there to support them and back them up?

Listen to them

Sometimes all you need in your most challenging moments is a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. Really listen to your friend or loved one. Ask them questions to help them verbalize and think through solutions to their problems. If you listen carefully, you can often find the root of the problem. By asking the right questions and letting them talk it through, they'll be able to discover their own solutions. My strategist/coach, Jenette Zubero whom I fondly refer to as the Question Lady, has taught me the power of the interrogative statement. She says, 'I never give advice; even if a client asks for it. This may sound stringent, but I believe that giving advice is a huge disservice to my clients. I believe that clients can find their own answers and that when they find the answer, it will be infinitely better than any advice I could have given.'

Empathize

Although you may have never experienced the exact problem your friend or loved one is experiencing, you most likely have endured something similar. Your friend may be having doubts about decisions they've made. Your friend may have started a business that isn't taking off, and this could be causing a lot of stress for them. Even if you've never had your own business, you may still have experienced similar moments in your life where you doubted yourself, doubted your decisions, and even doubted your own self-worth. You can draw upon those feelings you had in your challenges to help your friend know that you understand the feelings and emotions that they are having. If you can't relate to their problem at all, find someone who can, and talk to them about the feelings that are associated with this type of challenge and how they worked through it so you can better understand and support your friend.

It helps to know that you're not alone -- that there is someone out there who understands your pain, that you have a shoulder to cry on, and that the feelings you have are perfectly normal.

Give 'em a little push

A friend of mine told me recently that the bigger the challenge or problem you're pushing against in your life, the more you need someone behind you pushing you along. In other words, when you're trying to move a heavy rock, it sure helps to have an extra set of arms and shoulders to bear the load. From your objective point of view, you may be able to see answers that your friend is too close to see. In a loving, but firm way, you can give them insights into their challenges so that they can have more options for solutions. You can give them the strength to keep on going and never give up.

One word of caution, you do need to be careful when you push people that you don't overdo it. You can't beat people over the head with a club to get them to see their solutions; you'll only knock them senseless. It is always darkest before the dawn, and it is in the moment of your greatest darkness that you want to give up, lose confidence and quit. It sure helps to have a friend who gently, yet firmly gives you the nudge you need to proceed into the light.

Inspire them

I would dare say that every challenge that we face in life could be overcome with faith. Faith that tomorrow will be a brighter day, faith that this too shall pass. Stay in contact with your struggling friend. Call them just to see how they are doing, pick them up and take them to lunch. Send them inspiring quotes, notes, or cards to give them little packets of sunlight to brighten their way. Even one small star in the night can help to light someone's way.

Love them unconditionally

Love them for who they are as well as for who they can become. I think the truest friend is one who knows your potential, who sees all the great things in you, and gives you the strength, courage and vision to reach your full potential. A true friend doesn't belittle you or love you any less for your shortcomings, but points out your strengths and helps you work to overcome your weaknesses. A true friend leaves you better than they found you.

There is nothing so rewarding as helping a friend to the light. I challenge each of us to reach out to those around us. Instead of saying, 'Oh, that's too bad' when someone has a problem, actually do something about it! Be there for them, help them, love them, inspire them and get behind that load and push. Don't be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing; just be there for them. As I told a friend the other day, we're not living on an episode of Touched by an Angel here. God isn't going to send Monica in a glow of light, but he does send friends who love us to let us know we are not alone. Be that angel to those around you, and not only will they be strengthened, but also your life will never be the same again.

Keywords: friendship, caring, love, family, friends, hope, faith, adversity, challenges, motivation, inspirati

About the Author
Marnie Pehrson, Ringgold, GA, USA
marnie@pwgroup.com
Learn more about friendship
Marnie Pehrson is an author, creator of www.IdeaMarketers.com, www.LocateACoach.com , www.SheLovesGod.com , www.BelieversAtWork.com and more. She is the author of inspirational books like Lord, Are You Sure? and historical fiction such as The Patriot Wore Petticoats. She also helps people earn money from home. For more information on her projects, visit http://www.pwgroup.com .

A Metaphor For Change - The Egg

2005-10-21T00:23:00.000-07:00

by: Silvia Hartmann

There is nothing more certain in the world and in this life than CHANGE. No matter what people might think or what they might try to believe, everything is changing all the time, as we breathe in and out, as we eat and sleep and grow and go through our own spirals of unfoldment.

So here is a simple metaphor for change. It is called “The Egg” and I hope you enjoy it.

I often have this feeling of stress and desperation because I am quite convinced nothing has changed.

I look around myself and all I see is what I always see.

Same house, same furniture, same pile of bills, same everything.

I work so hard and NOTHING is changing.

I thought that again about something the other day, and this large, beautiful golden egg came to my mind.

There it is, and it just sits there in its nest of straw.

It doesn't DO anything.

It doesn't change shape, it doesn't change colour.

It doesn't pulsate. It doesn't roll around.

You could look at it for DAYS AND DAYS and you'd come away thinking that it was just that and there was NOTHING GOING ON.

And yet, and if one was to extend one's feelers in a different way, one might become aware of the RIOT OF CHANGE that is taking place INSIDE the egg, a storm of re-organisation, feeding and growth, of total unfoldment as a bunch of random cells become a fish thing, which in turn becomes ever more defined and more complex, more organised in every way, more mature, more fantastic with every heartbeat, every breath that passes.

One day, and we know not when, the egg that lay so motionless for so very long and seemed to be nothing but an inert shape will begin to rock, and then it will crack, and the newly born dragonet will emerge, spread its wings for the first time and take its first small steps.

Yes, there was change.

Even if we thought there wasn't.

About the Author: Free Meditation MP3s and a Free Energy Hypnosis Ebook "Our Dimensions" by Lady Hypnotist Silvia Hartmann can be found on http://HypnoDreams.org
Source: www.isnare.com

Happiness Vs Pleasure

2005-10-17T23:42:00.000-07:00

by: Margaret Paul Posted: March 29 2005

We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend our energy seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. We hope that by doing this, we will feel happy. Yet deep, abiding happiness and joy elude so many people.

There is a huge difference between happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is a momentary feeling that comes from something external – a good meal, our stock going up, making love, and so on. Pleasure has to do with the positive experiences of our senses, and with good things happening. Pleasurable experiences can give us momentary feelings of happiness, but this happiness does not last long because it is dependent upon external events and experiences. We have to keep on having the good experiences – more food, more drugs or alcohol, more money, more sex, more things – in order to feel pleasure. As a result, many people become addicted to these external experiences, needing more and more to feel a short-lived feeling of happiness.

Thomas sought my counseling services because he “had everything” – his own successful business, a lovely wife and children, a beautiful home, and time to enjoy life. Yet he was not happy. While he had momentary feelings of happiness while watching a ball game or socializing with his friends, he also felt anxious and depressed much of the time. In fact, the anxiety had become so bad that he was having almost constant stomach pain, which his doctor told him was from stress.

As we worked together, it became apparent that Thomas’s main desire in life was to have control over people and events. He wanted others to do things his way and to believe the way he believed. He was frequently judgmental with his employees, wife, children and friends, believing that he was right and they were wrong and it was his job to straighten them out with his judgment and criticism. His energy would become hard and tough and he would be like a steamroller in his efforts to get his point across and get others to do things his way. When it worked and others gave in, Thomas felt a momentary pang of pleasure. But the pain in his stomach kept getting worse and worse, which is why he decided to consult with me.

Thomas also wanted control over his own feelings, and would often judge himself as harshly as he judged others in an effort to get himself to perform well and feel okay. He especially judged himself harshly when he felt rejected by others, frequently telling himself that he was an inadequate jerk.

As we worked together, Thomas began to see that happiness is the result of choosing to be a kind, caring, compassionate and gentle person with himself and others – quite the opposite of the judgmental, controlling person he had chosen to be. Thomas learned that happiness is the natural result of being present in each moment with love and kindness toward himself and others, rather than with being attached to the outcome of things and trying to control the outcome regarding events and others’ behavior. He discovered that he felt deep joy whenever he let go of control and chose caring instead. The anxiety in his stomach went away whenever his intention was to be a kind and caring person rather than a controlling one.

It is not easy to shift out of the deep devotion to control and become devoted to love and compassion toward oneself and others. Our ego wounded self has been practicing control since we were very little. Yet the moment our intent is to control, our heart closes and we feel alone and anxious inside. Our intent to seek safety and pleasure through controlling others, outcomes, and our own feelings leads to an inner feeling of abandonment and emptiness. We abandon ourselves when we are trying to control our feelings rather than be kind and compassionate with ourselves. Our anxiety and feelings of emptiness lead to more seeking outside ourselves to fill up with pleasurable experiences. The momentary pleasure leads to addictive behavior.

When the intent shifts out of controlling and not being controlled to becoming loving to ourselves and others, the heart opens and joy is the result. Deep and abiding happiness and joy are the natural result of operating out of the spiritual values of caring, compassion and kindness.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com . Phone sessions available.(c) Margaret Paul, Ph.D., 2004.

7 Hot Tips For Self Improvement Part 2

2005-10-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

By: Beth Scott

Self Improvement Tip 4
Don't procrastinate! The more you put something off and something else off, the more all your undesirable chores pile up.

Until they're an insurmountable task that would make a paid cleaning crew shudder. In fact take these chores and work them into your schedule so you will do them.

Self Improvement Tip 5
If you don't already keep either a schedule or make yourself a to-do list each night, this is your cue to start.

A to-do list helps you with get things done because it gives you a urgency "must do this today" attitude.

It will also help you remember things that you might have otherwise forgotten. You can put things on them that you're afraid of forgetting, or want to make sure you make time for.

Self Improvement Tip 6
This is by far the most important self improvement tip I could give you. Forgive and Forget.

Either imagined or real slights should always be forgiven. To forget them is to not dwell on them and not remember the angry feelings if you ever look back on that moment.

Let me just tell you this: Holding a grudge will not hurt the begrudged as much as it will hurt you and your personality. As well as your existing relationships.

If there are any ancient or recent rifts or fights between you and a relative, friend, or spouse that are hurting your relationship or have ended it entirely, make amends.

This life is the only life you get, we'll never know when it'll be our or the begrudged person's time to die, and by then it will be too late to say "I'm Sorry".

So pick up the phone or walk up to that person and apologize, even if it wasn't your fault. This may be the last chance you'll get to make amends.

You will be surprised at the feeling you'll get after fixing things up between you. As if a burden has been lifted off your shoulders. This is definitely a step towards self improvement.

Self Improvement Tip 7
Do something kind for someone else. Today!
Not just on a birthday or anniversary, but spontaneously.

Buy a rose or other flower for a friend and tell them it's just "because". Because they mean a lot to you, and because you care for them.

Tell your family and friends that you love them. Offer to help a friend with a chore. Babysit for someone you know so they can have a night out.

Help teach a young niece/nephew, son/daughter, brother/sister, etc.... how to read or do some other "grownup" thing.

The list of things you can do is endless, and I'm sure you can procure some ideas of your own on the subject.

Now for your convenience I've summed up all seven self improvement tips:

1. Get up early and jog or watch sunrise

2. Eat breakfast

3. Smile at strangers when you make eye contact

4. Don't procrastinate

5. Keep a schedule or To-Do list

6. Forgive others and Forgive past wrongs

7. Do something for someone else

Remember it's all up to you whether you take these steps in your self improvement plan, but improve it they will.

Be sure you read Part 1 of this article which contains the first 3 self improvement tips.

About the Author: To gain more knowledge on self improvement visit David Rikland's acclaimed self improvement site: http://snipurl.com/8fu1
Source: www.isnare.com

7 Hot Tips For Self Improvement Part 1

2005-10-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

By: Beth Scott

Have you ever imagined that life could be a lot better and more fulfilling than yours is right now? Are you eager to learn a self improvement technique that will make it so?

If you are read on.

I am going to lay down 7 simple steps for your self improvement plan. Whether you implement the self improvement steps I give you is your decision alone.

Self Improvement Tip 1
This tip will seem quite obvious and simple to you, but you'll be amazed how few actually take the effort to do it.

Unless you're not a morning person this self improvement tip will drastically change the quality of your day towards the positive.

Setting you in a good mood to face the days challenges and adversities.

Get Up Early!
This may sound more like a way to ruin your day by putting you in an awful mood, but bear with me on this.

To be able to accomplish this and still avoid losing any any precious sleep. You can go to bed just a half hour earlier since to start with you only need to get up a half hour earlier than you usually do.

To aid this purpose you should definitely use an alarm clock with persistent beeping.

You may be wondering by now just what it is that you're supposed to do in this extra half hour when you would normally be dozing peacefully in bed and how this has anything to do with self improvement.

For different people the answer can vary slightly. To start with you need to fully awaken yourself and get rid of early morning sluggishness.

To suit this purpose you can take a cold or slightly cool shower. Or you might try doing stretches combined with deep breathing.

You might skip the shower if just splashing cold water on your face is sufficient to wake you. Use whatever works for you.

After you're completely alert step outside of your house, apartment, etc... And if it's early enough and you have a clear view, watch the sunrise.

This simple but immensely satisfying act will lift your spirits and help with self improvement. If you're unable to do this, take a brisk walk, jog or run depending upon what you prefer and what you're physically capable of.

When you've been out for 20 minutes you can head inside and commence with whatever morning ritual you normally have.

Self Improvement Tip 2
Now this is extremely important but deceitfully obvious. Eat Breakfast.

To start your day out on the right foot and stay in keeping with your self improvement plan this is practically a necessity. You need the energy this will provide you with to accomplish your daily tasks.

If you are overly pressed for time you might try cereal and milk or a few granola bars, even a few pieces of fresh fruit would do.

Any of these are better alternatives than skipping breakfast.

This is also a good suggestion for those watching their weight, because if you skip breakfast you're more likely to binge later in the day. And you certainly won’t be helping your self improvement by gaining unwanted weight.

Self Improvement Tip 3
When you go places, even if you find it a bit difficult at first, smile more at other people. Just curve your lips up a bit as you make eye contact with another human being.

It's really that simple. This will not only lift your spirits as you see a good many people smile back, but it will lift other people's as well. Even the ones who are too shy to smile back.

Be sure to read Part 2 of this article which contains the last 4 tips on self improvement.

About the Author: To gain more knowledge on self improvement visit David Rikland's acclaimed self improvement site: http://snipurl.com/8fu1
Source: www.isnare.com

Positive Thinking And Paradigms

2005-10-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

By: Grant Pasay

Positive thinking is a conscious, deliberate action.

For example, positive thinking might look like this: Max decides that every morning he will say to himself, "Every day in every way, I am getting better and better."

In contrast, paradigms are unconscious, automatic thought structures.

For example, Max might have a paradigm that covertly informs him that everything is getting worse and worse, literally falling apart due to the law of entropy that tells us things are getting increasingly chaotic all on their own.

As you can see from the examples above, Max's positive thinking ("getting better and better") is in direct contrast with his paradigm ("getting worse and worse").

What I'm hoping Max understands is that his positive thinking won't achieve its conscious, deliberate goal as long as there's a deeper, unconscious paradigm that stands in opposition.

Let's look at a more detailed example:

Max has always gotten by financially, but he's also always wanted more. Finally growing tired of not having as much cash as he'd like, he deliberately and consciously decides to think the following positive thought: "I am rich."

But Max grew up hearing that rich people are snobs, and that information turned itself into an unconscious paradigm. As a result, whenever Max thinks "I am rich," his unconscious paradigm says, "I hear you, Max, but I also know you don't want to be a snob. So, let's not get rich." And he doesn't. This "hidden" paradigm also explains why he's never gotten rich before this point either -- being rich just doesn't mesh with his money paradigm.

Then positive thinking doesn't work? No. Positive thinking does work.

But when it appears as though positive thinking isn't working, that's the time for Max to see if there isn't an opposing paradigm lurking about in his unconscious. And if he doesn't find any unconscious paradigms right away, no worries, because the positive thinking will help him flush them out, and here's how.

As long as Max chooses positive thoughts that oppose one of his paradigms, he'll feel discomfort. This is understandable, seeing as he has two mutually exclusive messages inside him at the same time. Now, the positive thinking might not appear to be working the magic Max is looking for, but that's because it's first job is to expose and/or weaken any opposing paradigms in its way.

As long as Max keeps up the positive thinking ("I am rich"), his paradigm will resist ("You don't want to be a snob, Max"). As long as his paradigm resists, he'll feel discomfort. It isn't an easy thing to keep doing, but if Max plugs away, and pays attention, he'll eventually see the underlying paradigm that's standing in his way.

He'll remember something his parents told him about rich people being snobs, or a movie he saw where the rich people were snobs. He'll remember promising himself he'd never be like that. Something will leak up from deep down inside, and suddenly his unconscious, automatic paradigm will become exposed -- and vulnerable.

For once we're aware of our paradigms (once we're conscious of them), they can be replaced by -- you guessed it, Max -- the positive thinking.

Sometimes the paradigms instantly and permanently dissolve the moment they move from the unconscious to the conscious. Sometimes it takes years of positive thinking to replace the old thoughts with the new.

Either way, once Max's unconscious, automatic paradigms are exposed by the light of conscious awareness, it's a whole new ball game. And that's when the power of positive thinking really becomes visible.

The things for Max to remember, then, are these:

** If positive thinking doesn't seem to be doing anything, he probably has an unconscious, automatic paradigm that's opposing his positive thoughts.

** If Max has an opposing paradigm, he should keep up the positive thinking while paying attention, knowing it will weaken and/or expose the opposing paradigm, bringing it up from the unconscious.

** Once the paradigm is exposed, it will be far easier (if not effortless) to replace the old paradigm with a new paradigm that is in harmony with the positive thinking.

** And then, well, look out Max!

Copyright (c) Grant Pasay 2005. All rights reserved.

About the Author: Grant Pasay is a writer, musician, moviemaker, and author of the new eBook, "The Internet Is Like A Refrigerator: And Other Weird Comparisons That Make it Easy to Understand Everything From AOL to Zip Files." Check out Grant at: http://grantpasay.com/ Check out Grant's free/brandable ebook at: http://grantpasay.com/refrigerator/

Source: www.isnare.com

The Blind Village and the Elephant

2005-10-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

by Robert Elias Najemy

Many of you will know this story and of course it is not mine, but it is worth remembering during these days of fear and fanaticism.

"Once there was a village of blind people (that is us). In this village lived a blind king, five blind wise men and the rest of the villagers who also could not see.

"One day an elephant came stumping heavily into the village, and stood in the village square. All the villagers were quite alarmed and anxious to find out what was this thunderous entity which had entered their village. The king ordered the five wise men to investigate the phenomenon and to report their findings.

Each of the five wise men approached the elephant from a different angle. The first came up the elephant's side, and, after feeling it, reported that it was a huge walking, pulsating wall which had come into the village.

The second wise man got hold of one of its legs and said it was not a wall but a walking tree trunk, which had come to visit them.

The third came upon the tail and rejected the first two opinions, announcing that the truth was that it was a snake.

The fourth having grabbed the ear, stated that previous observations were wrong and that the truth was that it was a large walking leaf.

The fifth who happened to catch hold of the trunk claimed that the others were wrong and that the reality was that it was a large moving hose.

The wise men and their respective followers came into intense conflict concerning the reality of what had walked into their village.

The blind village represents the present state of spiritual blindness affecting all of humanity. The five wise men represent the various major religions, who, approaching the unseen God from various angles, have experienced God in different ways. In our blind state, we argue about what the reality of God is, when there is ONLY ONE GOD, which is in reality the essence of all beings and things which exist.

Why then do we need to fight and argue between ourselves? Each religion is a valid path to the same One God. All are correct. All need to be respected. Each individual may choose the religious path which suits him and move efficiently forward, with love for God and all beings in his heart.

Let us not be blind to the truth of God¹s omnipresence even in those who have differing beliefs. Let us open our eyes and see the oneness of all beings.
Be Well

************************************
(Robert Elias Najemy's recently released book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20
and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html .
His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)
************************************

Self Help Article, Managing Stress From Another World

2005-10-13T22:27:00.000-07:00

by Roy Thomsitt

Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast majority of Americans and Britons succumb to in their material driven lives. Whether mildly or overwhelmingly, stress will cast its powers across most of us at some stage in our lives, often increasingly as we get sucked into a pattern of working and living that gradually strips us of our individuality.

Stress reduction has therefore become a "necessary" antidote industry. We may console ourselves by saying that our lives are fast paced; that this is what modern living is all about and we must pursue it frenetically; that people in those poor countries which have not adopted the Anglo-American way are just backward and will catch on eventually. But that is not just a consolation; it is both an illusion and a denial, and helps stress reduction in no way at all.

It is an illusion first of all that the average consumer has a fast paced life. A commuter may sit in a train twice a day, to and from their place of work; that train may move at a fast pace, but the commuter does not. They just sit there, their minds going over the same themes as always; last night's tv, tonight's tv, wishing they could have had another hour's sleep or wishing they were already home and tucked up for the night's slumber, or the day's boredom at work behind them or before them. Drowned in tedium and repetition, the vacuum left in their daily lives is gradually filled with stress, as if it had a supporting role in their existence.

A tiring and repetitious daily routine can be a breeding ground for discontent and unhappiness, the real reasons for modern stress. If that routine is full of creativity, and control over one's own actions, then it may not be a source of stress at all, or discontent. If, however, the individual is suppressed, then it can be a very different story. Most people are employees, whose lives are dictated by those above them and with no or little scope to think and do for themselves. They are particularly vulnerable to modern stress.

Caught up in the modern way of life, it is very easy to lose connection with yourself as an individual, for your individuality can be suppressed from all sides. I am sure I am not alone in having experienced that. I had lived the zombie like existence for over 20 years, and despite the fact that I had some very stimulating jobs, I had, almost unknowingly, lost track of life as it should be. Then in 1995, I packed it all in and started my own business, and started the long haul to win back my individuality. But it was 1998 before I started to fully appreciate again what having control over your own life really meant. The 20 plus years were a blur; where had I been all that time? One of the problems with modern stress is that it becomes a focus, along side the focus on purely material things such as the "need" to have a new car, a new house, the best clothes, the best tv and so on. Modern stress is a consumer product in itself, part of the material razzmatazz, that keeps the consumer in his or her place: a consumer, not a doer or a thinker; someone who plays by the rules and spends and borrows and spends and borrows to relieve themselves of the tedium and chase the shadow of achievement. Not real achievement; just its shadow.
That is not to say, though, that there is no relief from stress in the Anglo-American world. Those who are able to escape back to the real world now and again, and who can exercise sufficient self control regularly enough, will find that stress relatively easy to keep under control.

So how do we get to this other world, where we can manage our stress? There are portals all around you. Anything that will take your mind away from the self focus is a portal into this other world. Spending time with your children, and seeing life through their eyes for a while every day; the joy of discovery and play; but not as a drain upon your resources, and not as a part of your tedium. Spending time appreciating the wonders around you, the joys of nature, the little miracles that are within a short distance of where you stand or sit. Spending time travelling, helping others, seeing the true misery of people who are under the real stress caused by extreme poverty and disease, not the packaged consumer stress that we tend to think of.

This "other world" is a world of perspective. It is a world you used to know, but have somehow lost through lack of time. Yet, there was never any lack of time; that was an illusion too. This "other world" is also a world where you make the choices, consciously, not have them dictated to you by employers or weariness. A few simple choices each day can distract you enough to bring some relief to consumer induced stress. Fill the vacuum with your choices, and stress will not find such an easy way in.

About The Author: This stress reduction article was written by Roy Thomsitt, owner and part author of http://www.routes-to-self-improvement.com/ManagingStress.htm

To Catch a Thief: 6 Steps to Eliminate Your Time Stealers

2005-10-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

by Beverley Hamilton

Step 1 – Know Your Thief

What are things that lead you to say, “I don’t have enough time”? What is it that you are spending your time on that you feel is preventing you from achieving all that you want to achieve in a day or week? Is it email, too many or unproductive meetings, interruptions, work overload or too many priorities?

Create a list - and be honest. When you know specifically, on what and how you are spending your time, you can then decide whether it’s contributing to what you want to achieve or not.

Step 2 – Stakeout and Surveillance

For 3 consecutive working days, analyse how and on what you spend your time. On a sheet of paper or in an excel sheet, write out timings starting from when you start work, say 0830, in 30 minute slots, until the time you finish your day. For example

0830 - 0900

0900 – 0930

etc

1700 – 1730

For each 30 minute slot, write down exactly how you spend that time – no cheating!

After the 3 days, analyse where your time was spent and if there are any patterns.

Step 3 – Identify the Godfathers and Small Timers

What are the top 5 things that you spend time on that you feel is unproductive time? From your list in step 1 and analysis in step 2, rank them with “robs most of my time” at the top to “petty thief” at the bottom.

Step 4 – Pick Them Off 1 by 1

Decide whether you are going to tackle some of the “small timers” or whether you are going to go straight for the eliminating or neutralising the “godfathers”. Are you motivated to change the easy things first and get some quick wins or are you so frustrated by certain things that you must attack those first? Whichever you choose, commit to 1 thing at a time and achieve it.

Step 5 – Keep Up the Pressure

Once you have tackled 1 or 2 time stealers review how and on what you are spending your time again. Have you filled that time with more time stealers or are you now finding that your time is being spent more productively? Consistently reviewing where you are focusing your time will help your awareness and awareness is key in enabling further change.

Step 6 - Install Your Alarm

Prevention is better than cure. You have neutralised your time stealers and you now need to put and “alarm system” in place to make sure that you are not caught out in future.

Plan to review how and on what you spend your time weekly and monthly. Ask friends and colleagues to be your “neighbourhood watch” and tell you when they think you are focusing your time on areas that are unproductive for you or don’t contribute to the achievement of your goals.

Time is a finite resource and how you utilise that resource efficiently and effectively can generate a productive, fruitful and happy life or an unproductive, stressful and frustrating life.

The key to productivity is knowing on what and how you need to be spending your time in order to achieve your goals; whether they are work objectives and performance targets or personal goals to create the right work life balance for you.

© Beverley Hamilton 2005

About the Author

Beverley Hamilton is the author of Take Control of Your Time: 7 Straight Shooter Strategies for Success

She is also MD of One Step Further and is a Business Coach to Independent Business Consultants. To learn more, subscribe to Quickstart, her free weekly newsletter for consultants who want to grow a profitable business consultancy and still have time for a life. Go to Quickstart You’ll also receive a complementary 5 part ecourse Discover The 5 Most Common, Incorrect Assumptions Independent Business Consultants Make

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Self-Esteem

2005-10-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

by Robert Elias Najemy

The goal of improved self-esteem or feelings of self-worth requires a methodical and dedicated process.

We must first determine our main obstacles towards accepting and loving ourselves just as we are and towards feeling that we deserve a good, healthy and happy life.

Below you will find some possible obstacles.

In which situations do you lose your sense of self-love, self-worth, self- esteem or self-acceptance?

A. Social programming - illusion

1. When others criticize or reject you. (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when others accept and love me.)

2. When others are more able than you at certain tasks or more endowed with certain qualities. (i.e. Intelligence, wealth, home, appearance, artistic ability, speech, sports, cooking, professional success, their children?s success, being attractive to the opposite sex, making friends, disciplines, "spiritual" activities.) (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only I am better than others are concerning _______)
a. How do you feel about self?
b. How do you feel towards them?

3. When you have made a mistake.( Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when I do not make mistakes)

4. When you do not have the results you believe you should have after some effort.(Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when I succeed/ when others recognize my success.)

5. When others attract more attention, esteem and respect in a group situation. (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when I am more important that others to others)

6. When you do not have someone who loves you exclusively, in ways in which he or she does not love anyone else. (Belief: I am worthy only when I have someone who loves me exclusively)

7. When you are not perfect. (perfect house, perfect appearance, never make mistakes)

8. When you do not get many things done in one day (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when I do and accomplish much)

9. When you are not strong or when you show weakness. (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when I am strong and show no weakness)

10. When others:
a. Do not agree or
b. Are not satisfied with you (parents, spouse). (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when others agree with me and are satisfied with me.)

11. When others ask you for help and you do not say "yes". Or do not respond. (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only when I say yes and will lose their love if I say no)

12. When others have offered more to you than you have offered to them. (Belief: He who gives is worthier than he who receives)

13. When people do not trust you or confide in you. (Belief: I am worthy and pure only if others trust me)

14. When people lie to you or use you or laugh at you. (Belief: I am worthy and will be loved only if I am respected and I lose my self-worth when others do not behave properly to me.)

15. When others are able to manipulate you or are not as conscientious as you . (Belief: I lose my self worth when I work more than others or when I work for them, without receiving back what I should.)

16. Because you are born female in a culture which gives more importance to males.

17. Because your parents did not want a child and you felt that you were a burden on them.

Other _______________________________

B. Matter of conscience -

***18. When you have "created" pain for others. (Belief: I am evil if I others have experienced pain through me.)

***19. When you are not in harmony with your conscience. (Belief: I am not a good person and not worthy of love when I do anything which is not in harmony with my conscience.)

*** Other _______________________________

*** Note: These require a different process - Forgiving and loving does not mean that we allow ourselves to do whatever we want, even it is unjust or unethical. We need to recognize our inherent spiritual nature, but at the same time seek to align ourselves with our highest values and ethics
This should be done steadfastly but also with as much love and understanding towards ourselves as possible.

Removing the Obstacle

Having determined our impediments towards feeling self-esteem in certain situations, we can then chose the first obstacle we want to work with. Best to work with the one, which is most intense and bothersome.

It is very likely that this work will bring us in touch with childhood traumas or experiences which have programmed us in this way and which will need to be transformed in our minds.

Having chosen the first obstacle we want to work with we can move on towards removing it.

A. Analyzing what we believe which causes us to lose our self-esteem and transform that belief.
B. Discovering our childhood experiences, which have conditioned us to feel that way and transform our childhood interpretation of those experiences. (For this we might find professional help through regressions, rebirthing, EMDR, TFT and EFT.)
C. We can use positive affirmations, which will allow us to accept and love ourselves as we are at this stage of our evolutionary process.
D. We can keep a high level of energy by eating healthily, exercising and / or dancing regularly, as well as by regular breathing exercises.
E. A realization of our inherent spiritual nature can help us accept ourselves as we are at this stage of our evolutionary process.
F. Just as we accept some others with their weakness, we need to understand and accept ourselves in the same way
G. We can correct the disturbed energy field, which is creating these feelings. This is possible through new methods of "Energy Psychology" based on Dr. Callahan?s Thought Field Therapy. (A simplified version can be found at http://www.emofree.com) (Once you learn how to perform the technique you can learn to employ it towards various goals at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/eft/index.asp

Some helpful Affirmations might be the following. You will notice that the affirmations first seek to allow us to understand, accept and love ourselves exactly as we are with our negative emotions and then declare our choice to be free from them. We might need to work with various aspects in order to get totally free.

In the case of false social programming or false conclusions from childhood or traumatic experiences, we can use these affirmations.

A. Even though I feel (the emotion) _______ (perhaps guilt, shame, self-rejection, self-doubt, unworthy, belittled, demeaned) when./ because _____ (reason), I deeply and profoundly love myself.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (emotion) ______.

Matters of Conscience

In the case of matters of conscience we will first want to employ the upper affirmations in order to accept and love ourselves as souls in an evolutionary process exactly as we are, even with our mistakes and egoism.

Then, however, we will want also to discover the emotions, needs and beliefs which have caused us to behave in ways which we would prefer not to and would not like other to do to us.

Once we discover which fears or pain are causing us to act in these ways, then we can employ the same above mention methods to get free from them.

A. Even though I feel (the emotion) _______ (perhaps fear, anger, guilt, pain, injustice, shame, self-rejection, self-doubt, unworthy, belittled, demeaned) when./ because _____ (reason), I deeply and profoundly love myself.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (emotion) ______.

One By One

In this way we can remove all obstacles towards self-esteem one by one as we begin to gradually notice that we are not as vulnerable as before. We accept ourselves more. We do not feel hurt and do not misinterpret others so easily. We speak more honestly expressing our needs and feelings. We love more easily and steadily. We are more comfortable with ourselves and others.

Below you will find some useful affirmations concerning self-worth

POSITIVE THOUGHT FORMS -
BELIEFS CONCERNING SELF WORTH

We have been programmed by childhood experiences to doubt our self-worth and identify it with superficial aspects of our being. The following affirmations will be useful for reestablishing contact with our true ?and-always-worthy-of-love-and-respect divine nature.

1. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of others? opinions or behavior.

2. My self worth is totally independent of how I compare to others.

3. My self worth is totally independent of any external factors such as: intelligence, wealth, appearance, talents, professional success, my children?s success, my home, being attractive to the opposite sex, making friends, disciplines, "spiritual" activities.

4. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of the results of my efforts.

5. I am worthy and lovable even when others are being given more attention. I am happy for others when they receive love and attention.

6. My self-worth is within me and totally independent of whether I am loved exclusively by someone one or not.

7. I am worthy of love and respect even when I am not perfect in what I do and even when I make mistakes.

8. My self-worth is totally independent of how much I accomplish.

9. I am worthy of love and respect even when I feel weak or needy.

10. My self-worth is totally independent of whether others agree with me or are satisfied with me.

11. I deserve love and respect even when I need to say "no" and do not respond to what I am asked to do.

12. My self-worth has nothing to do with how much I give or receive.

13. My self-worth is totally independent as to whether some people trust me or open up to me on not.

14. My self-worth is totally independent of how people behave towards me.

15. My self-worth is totally independent of how much others work or how they work or what they believe about me.

16. My self-worth is a reflection of my divine nature and not my gender, religion, social class etc.

17. My self-worth is totally independent of whether others recognize it or how they feel towards me.

18. I accept and love myself as I am with my faults and weaknesses as I steadily and methodically evolve out of them.

19. I deserve to be loved and respected exactly as I am at this stage of my evolutionary process.

20. I am beautiful exactly as I am - just as all aspects of nature.

21. I am a good person, a worthy person.

22. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of how others behave towards me.

23. I respect and love all persons (especially my parents and family) without feeling any need whatsoever to live my life according to their beliefs or values. I live my life in harmony with my inner values and beliefs.

24. My self worth is based on my inner being, my existence itself, and my inner divine nature and on no other external factors.

25. My self-worth is a simple function of the fact that I, as all others creatures, am a unique aspect of divine creation. My self-worth cannot be increased nor decreased. I can never be more or less worthy of love and respect than another.

26. Although I am not perfect and have various faults, I deserve to be loved and respected as I am, just I as I love and respect others with their faults.

27. When I do not love myself, I am not loving an aspect of divine creation.

28. I often accept in others traits, which I reject in my self. Why?

29. I am in a process of evolution and am attending to that process.

30. I am an expression of Divine Consciousness in matter.

If we care for our bodies and minds, they will care for us.
Be Well
**********
***** Reference Box for Publishers *****
************************************
(Robert Elias Najemy's recently released book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20
and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html .
His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)
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What is Life Coaching Anyway?

2005-10-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

By Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin

So you still may ask, what is a life coach? Which is one of the reasons why I am writing this article..To me a life coach is the return of that buddy in the village, town, tribe, or clan that studied the medicine, herbs, lore, history, art, psychology, politics, semantics, behavior, mythology, and religion of the world that is at his hands to heal you so the coach can benefit from your labors in your chosen trade as well. Either you call Them Priest, Rabbi, Shaman, Sufi, Pastor, Druid, High Priestess, Reverend Mother, or Life Coach; it is all the same. But the best part of a life coach to me is telling and listening to stories around the camp fire!

When Your car is broken, you see the Mechanic. When you need help straightening the stuff flying through your mind, you see a life coach. Each an equal trade with tradesmen who took the time to specialize something so you can do the same in your career. All equal, all one. Bring the marshmallows.

How Does a Life Coach Work?

A Life Coach is some one that pulls various teaching principles together from history and various cultures to help you grow in a healthy holistic manner. After accessing your past, your becoming, and your skuld, or should be. A humanistic market analysis, but the analysand is you

How does this happen; very safe, serene, open, and nonjudgmental manner. Where do we meet; where we were suppose to meet all along. Which we did, or will. In your own personal comfort center, which is? Since we live on the surface of a globe, where the center is everywhere, your center is wherever you choose. I will travel to that point, no matter where it is.

Who shall we meet on our journey? You, yourself, the other you, and 3H, S.M.O.G., and Joe Smith. The person I usually meet within you first is 4H; Happy, Hear Anything, Honest, Hell of a Guy. When you are in this mood you will tell me anything without fear of shame, you trust me, you are fun, and truthful. In this mood your sins are true to its meaning; old Scythian archery term for missing your mark.

When we venture down the paths of your life and read the road maps of your future journeys; sometimes we hit potholes and road blocks. At these times we become like that guy who is arguing with his wife who needs not to ask for directions. Who has the kids in the back seat pulling pig tails and going through the “are we there yet routine!”. This is S.M.O.G.; Sensitive, Moody, offensive, and Grumpy. The four dwarfs. We can listen to him for awhile, which this mood will appreciate; for it is the little bigger brother of Joe Smith who picks the fight and leaves the four dwarfs known as S.M.O.G to take care of his battles. He likes to air out all of Joe’s dirty laundry, and some times he likes to trick you into believing its mine.

Now Joe Smith is a man who likes hats and masquerades, but hates Halloween. Joe Smith can where the hard hat, fireman hat, Fedora, and policemen’s hat. Which sometimes and sometimes not changes when he gets home; like Mr. Rogers changes his shoes and sweater. Joe Smith is your average mood that remains as long as you are calm. Even keel, paced (good or bad), content at the moment, and base line. Joe Smith should be an equal amount of King, hero, dreamer, and magician. The king coordinates and decides the actions to take. The magician creates the tools and gathers the information to accomplish those goals. The dreamer is the romantic that has the inspiration and love of life that influences the kings desires. The hero is the one who turns the dreamers desires into aspiration through the use of the magicians knowledge and tools to follow the King’s orders. Ancient Jews believed God had four parts or positions made in the universe. He, God, was responsible for the idea, the Archangels the planning and diagrams, Angels the manufacturing and transportation, and Us the consumer and the end user. The President, Designers, craftsmen, and final consumer or the one who applies the idea. You are the one who gets to eat the ice cream cone. Also Joe Smith can either talk to others as a parent, a child, or another equal adult. But he will never talk to Mr. S.M.O.G. And the Dwarfs. When S.M.O.G. Comes out to play, Joe disappears and hides in some little corner in the brain and sits up from the floor covered in ju ju bees occasionally only to duck back down when Frankenstein is still on the screen. He disappears on regular frequency over a period of hours, days, weeks or month for S.M.O.G. To deal with all the stuff it does not want or can not face. Joe does not even admit S.M.O.G. exists in the unhealthy Smith. When this happens he at times is no better than Mr. Smith from the Matrix or the sleeper in the pod. Victim/aggressor or Aggressor/victim. “Who is the slayer, who is the victim, speak...” When the King, Hero, Magician, and Dreamer are balanced and happy we are (add your name here).

Now with some people I can access any of these people in you. With some when S.M.O.G. Appears, I can get 4H to show up by slapping ones nose lightly or tapping another’s forehead. The dilation and brightness of the eye will show the switch along with the mood change. But Joe Smith is the hardest to bring out at times. For him the only person that can access him is a little child.

The last personality is one Joe Smith uses as a fair weather friend when it suites or prospers him; 3H. 3H is Hedonistic, Hellenistic, and hung over. He promises the instant fix, the cure of the symptoms, and the reprications 3H grabs the bottle to forget about your problems. He is the trust me guy. He is Willie E coyote who keeps following his stomach even after the 400th time he falls off the cliff. He is the one leads us into the drunk cell or screams when the sun creaks in the window in the morning. He is the one who keeps the sleeper in his pod tuned out on t.V. He keeps us at work so we do not have to face our fear of self decision and direction. He finds it easier for others tell him what to do, so he can secretly do something contrary.

A Life Coach is a person who can get all these moods or personalities inside you to come to the table and ratify a treaty for prosperity, health, and happiness of your true Self. To introduce you once again to that little child within you and let him fly and grow up finally. So you can truly save your parents and raise healthy children of your own so our society will never vote another Bush or his like in office again. Or vote any one in to do anything we should be doing ourselves.

Come read other articles like this one at TheGuide or learn about an old cantankerous old man in the 20's and the pond he created. Come join the lifestyle @ Docspond

Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin has been a life coach for twenty years counseling people and propietor of his own Artistic company Norgeforge.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Stress Mangement for Overwhelmed Moms

2005-10-01T21:30:00.000-07:00

By Jeff Herring

One of the things I really enjoy as a therapist is helping people learn how to handle stress. I often ask clients what a typical day is like for them, so I can understand what they are up against.

"Take me from getting up to going to bed" is one way I usually ask the question.

I've heard about some horrendous schedules. After listening to some people, the question changes from "How could you feel so stressed-out?" to "How could you not feel so stressedout'?"

Of all the schedules I have heard about, I truly think the most stressful are those of women who have the dual careers of "professional outside the home" and "professional mom" at home.

Notice that I haven't used the popular term "working mom." All mothers work.

Consider the words of Amy Grant from her song "Hats!"

"One day I'm a lover, one day I'm a mother. What am I supposed to do? Working for a livin,' all because I'm driven, to be the very best for you."

She seems to have captured some of the angst and pressure of the typical dual-career woman.

What a schedule!

Follow along with me as I describe the typical daily schedule of one dual-career mom.

• 5:30 a.m. Alarm goes off. Get up and get ready for work. • 6 a.m. Make kids' lunches and fix breakfasts.

• 6:30 a.m. Wake up kids, make sure they get bathed, dressed, fed and ready for school. Make sure oldest is at bus stop by 6:45 a.m.

• 7:15 a.m. Leave house, drop one kid off at school and the youngest at day care. Listen to the day-care worker tell about problem with your child yesterday.

• 8 a.m. Arrive at work.

• Noon. Do errands on lunch hour.

• 3 p.m. Leave work to take one child to doctor's appointment.

• 4 p.m. Return to work.

• 4:15 p.m. Take call from oldest child who just got home and is checking in. Work until 6 p.m. to make up for time off in afternoon.

• 6:15 p.m. Pick up kids at day care.

• 6:45 p.m. Arrive home, fix dinner, give baths, help with homework, get ready for the next day, get kids in bed.

• 9:30 p.m. Time for self and to be with husband.

• 9:45 p.m. Fall asleep. Next morning get up and do it all over again.

Whew! It wears me out just to think about that schedule. In my conversations with dual-career women, several themes have emerged. Let's take a look at what is most stressful followed by some suggested solutions.

What is most stressful

• Juggling multiple schedules

• Finding quality time for everyone, including oneself

• Spending the weekend catching up instead of relaxing

• Coming home to cranky, hungry kids

• Exhaustion - physical, mental, emotional

• Worrying if kids are well cared for while you are at your job

Solutions we have found together

• Get your partner to help.

• Make lists. This was one of the most common suggestions. Make lists of all the to-dos and appointments and commitments. Having them on paper not only organizes you, it can clear your head as well. One crucial key is to make sure your own needs get on the list.

• Plan ahead. Cook several meals and freeze them. Plan outfits for a week, etc.

• Hire someone to help with cleaning. If you can't afford it, hire someone anyway, even if it's only once a year.

• Keep just one room of your home clean. Many people say this makes them feel less pressured.

• Get out your schedule book and make two appointments. One is for time completely to yourself. The second is with your spouse or partner. Protect these times as you would a business appointment or job interview. I learned this technique from my wife when she wrote her name down in my appointment book a few years ago. I got the message.

• Once a month, or with a similar regularity, pamper and indulge yourself in some way.

• Create realistic expectations and priorities for yourself. Consider what's more important, a clean house or time with your family. Well, that's what I've learned from the dual-career moms I know. I invite your comments, experiences and suggestions.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Decisions

2005-09-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

by Kenneth Hoffman

Dear Diary,

Next week – summer vacation! I can’t wait for Saturday! I think I’ll meet the guys at Speedy’s garage. I got this cool retractable box cutter. We’ll probably go out Saturday night and streak some cars. Nicky has it in for the Science teacher for always calling us down for noise. If I don’t do that, I could go over to the Shop Rite and apply for that job cutting up cardboard for the paper drive. It pays twenty whole dollars for only three hours work. I could use the cash.

I found this old baseball bat at the lot. Me and the guys could climb that fence in the park and shag rocks at the windows of the houses across the street. By the time they find out where the rocks are coming from, we’ll be long gone. Or I could meet the baseball coach and try to get on the Little League team as an advisor. I get to go to a Yankees game for free if we sign on as a chaperone.

One of the guys knows when old man Miller in the wheel chair is going to be out of town. He has this forty-five under his bed and it’s fully loaded. We could get it and scare some kids. The only thing is there’s going to be his brother there, making a ramp for the stairs. He asked me to help build it but I don’t know. Maybe I will.

Speedy says he knows where there is a car with the keys in the dash all the time. It’s this Nissan with the cool rocket headlights. I bet they pop out real easy. Speedy’s brother is going to college next year and he’s going to donate his project hot rod to the car club. Maybe I’ll join and help fix it up for the car show in August. I bet I could make that baby shine like a mirror. There’s so much to do in the summer. So many choices, I can’t decide. Oh, well, I have the rest of my life to live, as long as I have fun this summer.

Writing, crafts, helping people.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Goals - Write Them Down Create Your Life

2005-09-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
-- Fredrich Nietzsche

Writing brings things into the real world makes them tangible so have you written down your goals yet? If not why not? Words are an integral part of the thinking process. Words convey images, pictures, feelings, emotions to the mind. Say to yourself what is that smell it really stinks, then say what is that fragrance and see the difference in what the mind produces.

We think many things and we can be thinking of something without realizing fully what it is but add the magic indgredient of writing them down and see what happens. When we clothe our thoughts in words an amazing thing happens they take on a shape, body, form and substance. In other words they come into the real world. Try it and you will see how easily they become a real thing instead of an illusive thought.

Another amazing thing happens the subconscious take on the thoughts that are now in the real world and make them happen. We can now phsically look at our impossible dream. Even the act of eye in cordination with the hand holding the pen makes a firmer impression on the mind. As we read and reread the goal we implant it deeper and deeper in the mind.

Put it up somewhere where you will see it, maybe on your bathroom mirror. Draw a picture of the next step put your picture doing it. An example would be a goal to buy a new car. Put the picture of the car and a picture of you at the wheel up where you can see it frequently.

The amazing thing that happens is the mind transforms the picture into reality. Keep rewording your goal. Use lots of action verbs and use the present tense like it has already happened. Don't just do it once, but once a day. You will be amazed at how it changes and new ideas are added.

Putting it in writing breathes life into it making it a force which cannot be easily stopped.

Try these different things this week.

1. Set up a weblog here are two places you can do that free.

http://www.tripod.lycos.com/
You get 50 mgs of free space about 5000 pages and they have a weblog with the site builder This is a good resource to record your goals daily.

However, if you want to keep your goals private then go to http://www.xanga.com/default.asp. Sign up for a free web log and it has both private and public viewing.

These are free resources.

Then go back to lessons there have been four articles up to now. This is the fifth. (You can retrieve the previous articles by autoresponder from mailto:jassminesarticles@sendfree.com. Record all your writing then write daily reaffirming and redefining your goal. Keep doing each step and you will reach your impossible dream.

Until next week,
Jassmine

About the Author
Judi Singleton is the owner of Jassmine.com, Gotojassminesitenow.com She has been a mental health counselor for 20 years, has published two books. Judi resides in Oregon. She has two ezines: A Light in the Window is a spiritual journey ezine. If you believe life is a spiritual journey subscribe: mailto:Jassmine-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Jassmine's Journal where every subscriber gets a free ad subscribe: mailto:jassminejournal-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Contact Judi at mailto:Jassmine@Jassmine.com

Learning From Life

2005-09-28T14:47:00.000-07:00

by Charlie Badenhop

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "Life has taught me some tough lessons, and the scars do not heal easily."? This article can help you learn valuable lessons from the past, instead of allowing the past to determine your future.

The quality of the life we live, is based upon the learning we derive from our experiences. I know that for myself, it is sometimes easy to feel that "Life has taught me some tough lessons, and the scars do not heal easily." When I find myself thinking like this it means that I have fallen into the trap of believing that "It is ‘only natural’ that an ‘X’ type event or relationship, will lead to a ‘Y’ type response." At other times it becomes apparent that if I had somehow learned something different from a particular challenging situation, the quality of my life would be much more rewarding.

In working with a client struggling with alcoholism, we spent our first session with the client telling me in detail how he had come to live such an unhealthy debilitating life. In short he said: "Both my parents were alcoholics, and both of them were physically abusive to me. I grew up never knowing what bad thing would happen next. I learned from my parents that the best way to not have to feel the pain and uncertainty of life was to escape into an altered state of alcohol induced euphoria." When listening to a client tell such a sad story, it is easy to believe that their situation was all but preordained.

As fate would have it, a week after beginning to work with this client, I went to a business luncheon to hear an inspirational speaker discuss how we can live our life fully, and succeed in times of hardship. Indeed, the speaker was truly inspirational. When the talk was over I waited around to thank him.

After introducing myself and thanking him, I asked him how he had come to lead such an exemplary life. He looked around to make sure no one else was listening and in a low voice he said the following: "Both my parents were alcoholics, and both of them were physically abusive to me.I grew up never knowing what bad thing would happen next. I learned from my parents that the worst possible way to deal with the pain and uncertainty of life was to escape into an altered state of alcohol induced euphoria. My parents taught me a difficult but very important lesson. I learned from them that staying present in the moment is the only real chance we have for living a fulfilling life."

What a truly great example of embodied spirit the motivational speaker offers us. The quality of our life is not dependent on the circumstances we encounter. The quality of our life is dependent on what we learn from the circumstances we encounter. Perhaps the greatest example of this wisdom is present in the life of Nelson Mandela. He is a man that suffered great pain and hardship, and somehow his suffering seasoned his soul in a way that has led him to be compassionate and caring.

In the course of exploring how to live our life more fully we can consider pondering one question over and over again, "What can I learn from the difficulties I am experiencing, that will actually ADD to the quality of my life?" At the very least we can begin to entertain the fact that: We can derive a wide range of learning from any single circumstance, event, or relationship. When we get the most stuck in life is when we believe that the one thing we did learn is the only thing that can be learned.

© Charlie Badenhop, 2003. You have permission to publish these articles electronically free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

About the author:
Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by subscribing to his complimentary newsletter "Pure heart, simple mind" at http://www.seishindo.org/newsletter.html. Contact Charlie at seishin@seishindo.org.

Finding Our Life Purpose: Basic for Our Happiness

2005-09-27T00:12:00.000-07:00

by Robert Elias Najemy

Each of us has incarnated to play a specific. When we find our special role and play it with love, we experience contentment and happiness. When we lose contact with our life purpose, or do not have the courage to live it, we experience discontent and sometimes depression.

WE MAY NEED TO MAKE CHOICES

In some cases, we may need to make choices between the following:
a. Money or meaningfulness
b. Comfort or creativity
c. Security or evolution
d. Social "success" or social responsibility
e. Superficial happiness or real inner contentment
f. Satisfying others¹ expectations or our own inner voice or wisdom.

Let us examine what we can do to regain contact with our life purpose.

1. FREEDOM FROM SOCIAL PROGRAMMING

We need to free ourselves from our social conditioning concerning what kind of work has value. We need to be free to select the type of work and life style which suits us regardless of what others think of our choices. If our loved ones have a problem with our choices, we need to have enough inner confidence to lovingly help them understand that we are simply asking for the freedom to pursue that which fulfills us.

Often the simplest roles can offer us the greatest spiritual lessons and self-satisfaction. Take, for example, the roles of motherhood or fatherhood. Not much importance is given to them today because many feel that working in an office has more prestige or creativity. Yet, there is no more important and demanding role than that of parenthood.

2. OVERCOMING FEAR

We will need to overcome any fears that might obstruct our ability to give ourselves wholeheartedly to our goals. Such as fear of
a. Failure
b. What others think.
c. That we may not make it financially
d. That we may not be perfect in what we do
e. That we might make a mistake.

We are all in a process of evolution. Making mistakes is natural when we are learning and creating. It is important to understand that we are worthy and lovable even though we are not perfect and even when we not have perfect results.

3. SUCCESS IS NOT REQUIRED

It is imperative that we free ourselves from excessive concentration on success as a measure of our self-worth. If our motives are as pure as possible and our efforts our best for our present stage of evolution then the results do not matter. Christ, Socrates, Gandhi and Martin Luther King all lived their life purpose but were all killed by the societies in which they lived.

4. CONTACT WITH OUR INNER VOICE

We will need to develop a deeper contact with our inner voice through prayer, silence, and meditation. Then we will hear the "small voice" of inner wisdom and know, within ourselves, the role that we have come to play.

5. TUNING UP OUR INSTRUMENT

Even if we know our role, we may not be able to play it effectively if we are frequently ill, tired, nervous, fearful or upset. A healthy body and clear mind can be maintained through healthy natural foods, exercises, breathing techniques, deep relaxation and positive thinking. With daily practice of these techniques, our bodies and minds will be capable of expressing our inner beauty and creativity.

6. SURRENDER TO THE DIVINE

An instrument must surrender completely to its player. Finding our role in life means being open to whatever role is useful to the universe at each place and time. We need to let go of egocentric needs and realize that at times we will be called upon to do "great works", and at others, we will be assigned simple task.

7. PRAY FOR GUIDANCE

We can pray for purification and guidance as instruments of divine harmony here on earth. Through prayer and sincerity, we can become transformers of spiritual energy into beneficial works here on the material level. Through our daily meditations, we can receive spiritual energy, which we can then share with those around us in the form of love, compassion, understanding and service.

8. BELIEF IN OURSELVES AND FOLLOWING OUR SATISFACTION

We need to believe in our inner feelings and what brings us happiness. Happiness and inner contentment are signs that we are aligned with our life purpose.

9. USING OUR TALENTS

We need to get in touch with and develop our inherent talents.
They will guide us to what we have come to do.
Be Well

(Robert Elias Najemy's recently released book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20

and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html .
His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)

The Power To Choose

2005-09-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

by Kem Thompson
kem@daysofsuccess.com

Days of Success
http://www.daysofsuccess.com

I remember the day I decided to become extremely successful. It
was in my penultimate year in medical school. Up until that time
I'd been passing my exams, just sailing along, not putting in
much effort and not getting much out as a result. The funny
thing (funny wierd, that is, not 'funny - ha ha') was that
without realizing it, that same mediocre mindset had permeated other
aspects of my life. I felt deeply dissatisfied and wasn't enjoying
myself. I was also in the habit of blaming others or external
circumstances when thing things didn't go my way.

One day I just felt fed up. I realized I didn't want to go on
living like this. I knew I was capable of doing better than I was
doing. It dawned on me that it was my life in question here -
nobody could live it for me. Nobody could achieve the results I
desired but me. And right then one of the results I wanted was
to excel in my studies. I wanted to be the best medical student
that school had come across. I realized it was up to me to
make that happen. Not my parents, not my friends, not even my
lecturers.

So on that day I 'took my life in my hands' and said in essence,
"from this day on I will do what I need to do in order to excel
in med. school. I will operate in 'Excel Mode' from now on in
every aspect of my life. I'm tired of being mediocre. I will
excel. I choose to be extremely successful".

Making a conscious decision to change was enough to get me all
fired up. My attitude and actions changed during classes too:

I asked more questions, answered more, took more chances to
learn things and so on.

To cut a long story short, that day was the beginning of my
experience of 'The Universal Principles of Success' (if you
want a copy of that article to read and pass along to friends
send an email to 10Principles@daysofsuccess.com). I passed my
finals with distinctions in every subject. I won several
awards for being the best student in each subject and then
won a special award for being the overall best graduating medical
student for the year 1997.

That experience opened my eyes to the power we each have to
choose which way our life goes. I hope it opens your eyes too.

You have so much potential in you right now, mostly lying
dormant. You can literally become and do anything you want -
you simply need to choose to do so and then go for it.

You've got what it takes to be the best in your field, or
the best you can be. I tell you, there is more than enough
room at the top for you when you choose to excel.

Even if you are a Stay-at-home-parent, you can choose to make
it the most fulfilling experience of your life. It's all
up to you. Don't let anyone's words or opinions hold you back
from making the right choices for *you*. It's your life after
all.

This power to choose the direction of your life is one of your
most important qualities. Have you been using it wisely?

You have the power to choose how you feel. Isn't that
amazing? I think it is. If someone treats you in a way
that should get you all upset, you can choose to feel upset or
(which is more powerful) you can choose to rise above their
level and be happy regardless. Be happy about what, you ask.

Be happy that it's up to you to control your emotions. Be happy
that you are using this power correctly. There is plenty to be
happy about in such a situation.

You have the power to choose your thoughts. This has got
to be the most important quality you have right now. Why?
Because 'it all starts with a thought'. That's right. Your
feelings start out as thoughts (spend enough time thinking
about the most irritating person you know, and guess how you'll
feel. The opposite is true too.)

Your words start out as thoughts (at least I hope they do:)).

Your actions start out as thoughts too. Yes it's true: you ARE
what you think.

Right now you have the power to choose thoughts that empower
you to be the person you want to be. Absolutely nothing stops
you from doing so, except yourself.

One of my clients had major problems with the thoughts she
allowed to stay in her mind. They were mostly self-depreciating
thoughts. No wonder then that she felt worthless and insecure.
She had all these dreams and desires but wasn't doing anything
about them because she felt she'd fail anyway.

As part of the process of change, I had her do a series of
exercises which involved 'thought conditioning' or changing
her thoughts about herself to positive, empowering ones.

By the time we finished working together, not only had she
become much more confident and positive, she'd achieved one of
her major goals that she'd dreamt of - she now works abroad
in a job she loves. It all started when she 'changed her mind',
so to speak.

You can choose how to spend your time. You have goals and dreams,
right? Well each moment, you're either doing something that's
taking you towards your dreams or taking you away from them.
When you think of time that way, I think you'll spend it more
wisely.

You can choose what you eat. Just like time, each time you put
something in your mouth, you're either nourishing your body and
getting healthier or you're not.

Once you realize this truth, your life will take on a renewed
energy. You will know that you alone are in control of your future.
Hopefully you'll take things into your own hands instead of
letting external circumstance dictate your life.
It's your choice.

***
About the author:
Dr Kem Thompson is a Personal and Business Success Coach. She teaches
individuals and groups how to achieve total success using proven Universal Principles of Success.

Subscribe to her FR*EE newsletter, 'Days of Success!' and receive
a thank-you gift by filling in the form here: www.daysofsuccess.com

This article provided by the Family Content Archives at: http://www.Family-Content.com

Self Improvment: Success: You ARE One Step Away From Success

2005-09-25T22:12:00.000-07:00

by Willie Crawford
willie@williecrawford.com

http://www.profitautomation.com

We've all heard the stories of people who gave up on a
dream when they were only one step away from achieving it.
We discovered that they were only one step away because
someone else following their path took that next step and
succeeded wildly.

When you observe, or talk to many people in the online
marketing arena, you see lots of people who're only one
step away from success. Not only that, but many need to
take the SAME next step.

For some reason, people like to hire me as a marketing
consultant so that they can "discuss marketing theory."
What these consultations soon reveal is that we've often
studied the same material and have the same basic
understanding of how things work. They understand the
mechanics, the psychology... even the how-to. Yet they're
stuck!

That next step that we often need to take is simply in the
doing. Knowing is not doing. You can understand something
as deeply as possible on an intellectual level, but until
you do something with that knowledge, you're no better off
than someone who doesn't understand.

One of my recent phone conversations centered around how
all of the Internet marketing "gurus" teach the same thing
in their courses... with only slight variations. The reason
for this is that they've all studied the same material.
Certain principles of direct marketing haven't changed in
over 100 years! Certain things about human nature probably
haven't changed in thousands of years. They're immutable
natural laws.

There's a reason every great copywriter, or marketer, that
I know has studied Claude Hopkins and Dr. Robert Cialdini.
These authors understood certain things about human nature
and were able to explain them in an understandable way. If
you study their material long enough, and often enough,
something magical does happen. Their thinking becomes YOUR
thinking. So, of course, all of your marketing gurus will
tell you similar things. They've studied the same material
AND they mentor/coach each other :-)

I've just revealed to you one of the few success secrets I
really know. That secret is that "repetition is the mother
of mastery." That's why really successful people teach
their students to study the same material over and over
again. That's why, 25 years ago, my karate instructor use
to have me spend 4 solid hours just practicing one thing.
Do, or hear, the same thing often enough and it becomes a
part of you.

However, making a piece of information or knowledge a part
of you is not enough. Then you need to take the next
step... the one most of the world seems afraid to take.
You need to act upon that knowledge.
People don't do the things that they know that they should
do because they're afraid of making mistakes. The fact is
that you WILL make mistakes. Hopefully, you don't keep
making the same mistake over and over again. Hopefully, you
learn from the mistakes and then that ingrained knowledge
helps you to make major breakthroughs.
Every successful person that I've ever talked to admits
he's made many mistakes. My coach use to teach me that
since you know you're going to make mistakes, and then move
past those, why not get them out of the way. He preached
"fail fast" so that you can then get to the success born
out of the lessons taught by failure.

Major successes overshadow a string of minor failures!
This is why major book publishers are willing to publish
1000 books that rarely break even in order to find one or
two best sellers. The best sellers make up for all of the
failures many times over. It's generally the same with
operating a business. So don't be afraid of mistakes. Seek
to avoid them by learning from the mistakes of others.
However, don't let fear of making mistakes keep you from
taking that critical next step.

If you're like a major percentage of online business people
I've studied, you really are just one step away from
success. That step is sometimes a big one, but it's a
necessary one. Look closely at where you are, and you
should be able to see what that next step is for you. Then
take it. If you don't, you'll still be one step away from
success tomorrow, and even a year from now. Now that you
know... go ahead and TAKE that next step.

------------------------------

Willie Crawford has been teaching others how to build an
on-line business since late 1996. Frequently featured in
radio, magazine and newspaper articles and interviews,
Willie teaches the average guy what the top marketers are
doing but seldom talking about.

Learn Willie's Success Secret at:
http://TheInternetLifestyle.com

More articles by Willie Crawford - http://www.submityourarticle.com/internet-marketing-articles/Willie-Crawford-37/

This article provided by the Family Content Archives at: http://www.Family-Content.com

Self Improvement: Success: Little Things Mean Everything

2005-09-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

by Jim Meisenheimer

A little over two years ago we moved into a new home in Lakewood Ranch Florida - near Sarasota. Bernadette and I were the second ones to move into the newest subdivision. Our neighbors across the street, Jack and Elizabeth, took honors at being the first to move in.

Jack, who's retired, is quiet and very analytical. He came over the other day and announced that he was putting his house up for sale. He told us he interviewed four realtors. He shared a brief story about each one. What he liked and what he didn't like.

He liked one in particular. His name was Phil. Jack said he was impressive in many ways. He came prepared. He looked and acted very professional and established rapport easily plus had other positive attributes. Jack said he emphasized personalized service, over and over again, and that made a good first impression.

After interviewing the four realtors Jack and Elizabeth were leaning toward giving the listing to Phil. As they were discussing their options, Jack had one more question he wanted to ask Phil. So he called Phil on Friday afternoon at 4:30 and left a message with his assistant, who was a key member of Phil's team.

Sixteen hours later, 8:30 AM on Saturday morning, Phil's assistant returned Jack's call, apologizing for taking this amount of time to return his call.

That's the story - here's the bottom line. Phil and his team did not get the listing, which had a potential commission of $90,000. The reason Jack told us, was that 16 hours to return a call did not measure up to his definition of personalized service. Remember, Jack is very analytical and pays attention to the details.

Little things mean everything and sometimes they can cost you a sale.

Another example. Last Thursday, I was on American Airlines flight #1328 from Miami to Philadelphia. I was lucky and got an upgrade to First Class. My seat was 6F. I noticed the flight attendant as lunch orders were being taken. She seemed friendly and attentive as she noted the individual lunch requests. Her hair was pulled back in a bun and her smile seemed genuine and contagious, as she moved from passenger to passenger.

My initial impression, from a distance, was First Class service in the First Class cabin. That however changed as she approached row 6. She asked my seat partner for his preference and then asked me for mine. She was chewing gum and I mean really chewing the gum. For me, the big distraction was I could see the little red wad of gum she was chewing on.

It's not a big thing to be sure. Sorry, I can't help that it bugged me, it just did. It was a dang little thing that just changed my first impression.

Little things mean everything, especially if you're in sales. Jack called Phil and told him why he didn't get the listing. How many times have you finished second to a competitor and convinced yourself the final decision was based purely on price? Seldom will you get a phone call explaining the real reasons why you weren't the chosen one.

Maybe it was just a little thing.

Little things mean everything and sometimes they can help you close a sale.

So, I got to thinking about little things last weekend between sales training programs I was doing for corporate clients. I must have gotten into a zone because when I was done writing I had a list of 75 little things you can do to increase your sales. This morning I recorded a CD with 75 little things you can do to increase your sales. The package is called, "75 Little Things You Can Do To Grow Your Business And Boost Your Income."

Most salespeople, and for the life of me I don't understand why, take a pass on anything that costs more than 10 bucks. I hope that's not how you think.

This dynamite NEW Info Product will . . . go here for the rest of the story!

http://www.meisenheimer.com/products/75thingscd.htm

A lot of ideas (75) that won't break your piggy bank.

Jim Meisenheimer publishes The No-Brainer Selling Tips Newsletter, a fresh and high content newsletter dedicated to helping you grow your business and multiply your income.

Use this link to sign-up for Jim's F-R-E-E No-Brainer Selling Tips Newsletter and to get your copy of his Special Report titled, "The 12 Dumbest Things Salespeople Do." http://www.meisenheimer.com/

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