My Bottom Smarts

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 22

2009-11-22T17:00:00.001-08:00

Our topic was people and things for which we are thankful.

Poppy: Being loved in a new, enriching and utterly squirmy way by the man that I adore.

And Phish Food ice cream.

And bubble baths.

Season: What an amazing year! Things I am thankful for:

Finding the love of my life.

My first spanking (and every one since).

Making so many wonderful friends in the world of TTWD.

Okay, and bubble baths. When Poppy's right, she's right.

Hermione: I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband who is enthusiastic about spanking, and who is willing to join me in exploring the endless possibilities. I am very thankful that we are both in good health and are able to enjoy the erotic activities that follow every spanking.

I am also thankful for this blogging community, for the opportunity to share some of my thoughts on spanking, and for the many dear friends I have made through blogging.

And shower gel.

And Italian wedding soup.

Curtis: I am constantly and eternally thankful that I was lucky enough to be born middle class in the United States of America. I am thankful that I have been allowed to live as long as I have and to be in good health and good spirits. I am thankful to be living in a beautiful place, both domicile and location. I am thankful for the freedom to say what I believe and to act on those beliefs.

I am thankful to have a wonderful son and many wonderful friends.

I am also thankful to be a spanko and in a community with everyone here and other places who share that special pleasure and the many, many with whom I've played. And while I am not as lucky as some to presently have a significant other in an LTR, there is always that hope.

I'm also grateful for this blog. It's one to which I repair quite often

Elle: I am so thankful for finding a man strong enough to take over and spank me, to help me understand this side of myself, and to put up with my growing obsession related to it! My life has changed SO much over the last year and I am thankful for all the new things I've discovered about myself and learning that so many people share my interests.

Happy Thanksgiving, my spanko friends!

R Humphries: I have a great deal to be thankful for, including family, friends, health and steady employment. In a spanking context, I am very blessed to be married to My Beloved Jojo and have the opportunity to indulge my lifelong love of spanking with a dedicated spankette. I’m sure that when we first met all those years ago in the original spanking chat-rooms, she might have initially thought that RH had a few bats loose in the belfry. But her love of theatre, glorious imagination and inimitable sense of humor allowed her to embrace the lifestyle. So every year I have good reason to be thankful to my beloved muse . I sincerely hope you are all as fortunate. Happy Holidays and Bottoms Up!

Missy: I'm thankful for the HUGE class action lawsuit that my tenant's association won decisively against our evil, inept landlord last month. You might say we spanked them. I am grateful that that my grandma is still with us at age 80, and no one in my family currently needs any of that health care everyone is talking about.

I'm sure we're all thankful for that new Jessica Alba movie coming out in January, with a much whispered about spanking scene. A solid mainstream cinema spanking only comes along about once a decade. Let's hope her character is not quite as 'troubled' as Lee in Secretary! And I'm thankful for that cool new ad where the dominatrix whips a pistachio nut on a chair.

Do the rest of you surreptitiously peep at that when it come on? LOL Bonnie, the image for next weekend's brunch could be a bowl of pistachios in honour of that advertising milesone! ;)

I have to admit that I haven't seen it yet, but I'll now be on the lookout!

Loki: I am thankful for having a happy home, a good job, a good friend and housemate, and a loving mother and sister. Most of all, I am grateful for my loving wife who has been there for me long before we were married (just this past August to be exact). She not only understands my love of this scene, but is an active player with ideas of her own for our future in it. Because of her, I do not regret making my move to this city where I live in now.

Diesel Diva: I have countless things to be thankful for. Among them are good health, my wonderful husband of 28 years, my geriatric dog herd is doing well, my 26 year old sofa spud son is finally employed, and a very satisfying job. On the spanko side of life, I'm glad for an adventurous husband and the wealth of information the internet provides.

Happy holiday to all.

Keagen: Here's my list.

The ability to freely, willingly, and safely express my submission

Chocolate and the adoration of such

Friends who love me far more than I deserve

A little more than two and half years in the adult spanking world that has shown me not only who I am, but who I have the potential to be

Prefectdt: There's loads of stuff. It's hard to think of them all.

My lurcher (dog) is going to be OK (I thought that he was dying)

I will be seeing my family this Christmas

I should be getting my new car in January (after nearly six years of living without one)

What Keagen said about chocolate

I live in a nice part of Flanders (yes the chocolate is good here :)

I enjoy getting my bum whooped so much

My devious plans for combining chocolate and spanking are coming along nicely (evil laugh)

I think I will stop there or this list could go on for a very long time :)

PJTstrapping: Of course we are thankful for discovering the world of spanking! Besides that, there is our loving relationship, family friends and sacrifices of all our brave troops throughout the world.

PJ and T are thankful to Bonnie for all the work of the blog each week. We had a bunch of questions (emotional, etc.) and this site has been the best at answering most of these questions. With that in mind, we have a question today as well. Do you think your bottom becomes desensitized to spankings after awhile? When PJ first started spanking me, my bottom often would be quite sore the next day. But recently, even when PJ really laid it on me, it doesn't seem as sore the next day. I also have noticed I am building a tolerance for the pain, which makes some sense, but does the rear do the same thing? Thanks for creating this site. Happy Thanksgiving!

Yes, I believe regularly spanked bottoms tend to toughen up over time.

Jane: I am thankful that I had the good fortune to stumble upon Bonnie's blog, and several others, which led me to gather up my courage and ask my wonderful boyfriend if he would spank me. He smiled sweetly and asked "hard?" It has been quite wonderful.

Bonnie: My cup runneth over. I am grateful for Randy, family, and friends. I am grateful we have jobs when many do not. I am grateful are healthy enough to enjoy in real life the fantasies that flow from our imaginations.

Finally, I am thankful for you, the readers of MBS. You've taught me a lot more than I've taught you. It's been four great years!

MBS Spanko Brunch #201

2009-11-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

In honor of Thanksgiving week, this question seems timely.

What makes you feel thankful this year?

As always, everyone is welcome to participate. All you need to do is leave a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary.

Ask Bonnie

2009-11-20T06:00:00.001-08:00

You asked for it!

Question: I was admiring the [implement] photo on this week's blog. Is it a small wood paddle, a large wooden spoon or the back of brush?

Response: That picture is the back of my husband's favorite spanking brush. It's the size one would associate with a hairbrush, but the bristles are soft like a bath or body brush. When applied vigorously, the smooth back makes one's bottom burn like fire. I wrote about this particular brush here. It is also featured in several of my spanking accounts.

Question: Is participation in the brunch's for anyone or is there some form of membership needed?

Response: Everyone with relevant opinion is welcome at brunch. You can even be anonymous if you insist.

Statement: Hi there i like your site hope to get to know you please keep in touch.

Response: There wasn't a question there, but I will answer the one this young fellow should have asked. If you want to get to know me and you want me to stay in touch, you should at least try to engage me in conversation. Tell me something about yourself. Tell me why you like my blog. Tell me you're tired of jerking off and want to meet a real woman. The point is that my time is limited and I'm not likely to respond to e-mails like this one. I know you guys can do a lot better.

Question: I seem to have been dropped from your blogroll. Is that because I haven’t been active in a couple of months? I'm posting again. Can I have my link back?

Response: Yes, we normally drop links from the blogroll after two months of inactivity. Blogs can get mighty stale after a while and I have no desire to waste readers' time. Yes, if you let me know, I will happily restore your link.

Question: I found your blog and I’m happy that I did your concept and words are helpful. I was a little scared at first in her constant wanting a spanking I enjoy but didn’t understand. After reading from your blog I feel such a energized feeling of power and love for her. I love her and want to have that special connection that I believe this will take us any words and suggestions would be appreciated.

Response: It sounds as though you and your partner are off to a fine start. I'm glad the blog has been beneficial. I have written several tutorials you may find helpful. You can find them via the drop down box on the right.

Question: We're in the UK and I was wondering if you knew of any online resources, books or sympathetic discussion groups on this side of the pond. My wife is very slowing starting to realise I'm not a weirdo and I'm trying to express my love for her through MUTUALLY enjoyed spanking by one to the other. Perhaps a sympathetic community of wives might help her understand better.

Response: I'm not very familiar with resources in the UK, but you might try either Bottom Lines or British Spanking. Both are popular communities and have discussion forums.

I believe that Spankolife is based in the UK, though their membership is worldwide.

If nothing else, these sites should provide more avenues to investigate.

Question: Where can a person go to find a lady who likes to be spanked? Any ideas? While I know more and more people are getting into spankings all the time, is there a place or a chat line for singles into or even beginners into spanking?

Response: There are many choices both on the internet and elsewhere. There are many local and regional groups where people who share this interest can meet and socialize. Even if you don't find the partner of your dreams, these good people will be able to tell you about other resources. You might also try lifestyle dating sites, regional spanking forums, or alternative newspaper advertisements. There are also sites like Spankolife, Fetlife, or Spank Finder. I hope this helps!

Question: I just started a new blog. Will you link it?

Response: Sure, as long as it's related to consensual adult spanking and it's not too commercial, graphic, or crude.

Statement: Hi, nice ass! Iam a Music Man,love tight Jeans,red Bottoms,Money$,automobiles,Art,Dogs,Life! writ if you can,would love to here from you!

Response: Erica's correspondents are apparently branching out. Maybe we should hold a brunch sometime where I enlist everyone's help with thinking up goofy responses to messages like these.

Question: Do you use a personal lubricant?

Response: Yes. Sometimes even Mother Nature can benefit from a little assistance.

Question: Will I ever find true love?

Response: The Magic Eight Ball says “Reply hazy, try again.”

Question: Any suggestions on how to encourage my spanker to spank harder? We are pretty new at this, maybe it will come with time? I want to be sure not to make him feel he's doing it wrong. Thanks for any ideas. Your web site has been SO helpful.

Response: One of my first tutorials dealt with just this topic. You might also want to suggest that he read some of the other tutorials if he is inclined to do so. In any case, you can build his confidence by praising his efforts and not being critical (except, of course, in the unlikely event that he's doing something truly dangerous). If you react positively, he will feel good about what you are doing together.

Question: I have a very good friend who was previously vanilla. After hearing some of my ideas and experiences as it relates to spanking, she is very eager to try spanking for herself. Do you have any ideas or tips that might help make her first adult spanking experience a great one?

Response: As a matter of fact, I do!

Question: Have you ever experienced, or considered, being the spanker as opposed to the spankee?

Response: The only time I ponder this question is when someone asks. No, I have no desire to switch. At least for me, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying.

Question: My bf is very sweet and happy to indulge me as a spanko but I can tell he worries about hurting me. It's complicated by the fact that I have an exceptionally high pain tolerance so light swats don't even register. Any thoughts on how to encourage him?

Response: Beyond the tutorial referenced above, you might try placing a serious implement in his hand. He probably won't realize how much it hurts unless you tell him (verbally or non-verbally). Afterward, you will want to praise his efforts and demonstrate your gratitude. Given this sort of encouragement on a regular basis, I believe he will become the spanker you envision.

Question: In a relationship where both partners are switches how do you think would be best to have both partners in both roles within the same session without awkwardness?

Response: This is outside my experience, but I would imagine it depends upon the nature of the spankings. If it's fun and games, why not just go for it? However, if you are spanking for discipline, I believe it would be difficult to simply change places.

Question: How do you find time to do all the things you do on your website?

Response: Unfortunately, sometimes I don't get time. There are a lot of posts that don't get written. There are a lot of e-mails that don't get answered in a timely way. I do as much as I can in the time available.

I work to become more efficient in managing the blog. I've developed a number of shortcuts over the years. In the end, it's all about getting the priorities right. I also have good friends who help me. As I've mentioned before, about half of everything I do for the blog never shows up in print. I consider this part of the cost of participating in a vibrant community.

Question: Any ideas on how to stick a rocket up the ass of the passport office and/or get them to do their job properly and efficiently and stop assing around?

Response: No, but that might be fun to watch.

Question: Could you share with us your most embarASSing spanking moment?

Response: I'd rather not. It's too emBareAssing! 8D

Question: Is it possible for me to OVER communicate with her about TTWD?

Response: Yes, absolutely. More than one eager spanko has frightened (or frightened off) their vanilla partner by appearing inexplicably obsessed. It's important to remember that while you've been thinking about this topic for many years, it's all new to her. Even if she is inclined to play along, it will take some time to understand all of this new information. Please be patient and supportive.

Question: Any advice on preventing spanko blogger burnout? No easy task keeping a blog going and going!

Response: I wrote the following in 2006, but it's just as true today.

In just the few years that blogging has been around, thousands of brilliant bloggers have come and gone. Like meteors, they flash against the sky and then vanish. Our own community regularly mourns the exit of a favorite blogger. Sometimes they leave because of changing life situations, but just as often the cause is burn-out.

Burn-out is by no means limited to bloggers. Anyone who is engaged in tedious, difficult, or stressful situations can suffer from the exhaustion, lethargy, sleep problems, and disorientation that characterize this condition. The biggest danger for bloggers is becoming addicted to the thrills inherent in entertaining an audience. Like a siren's song, the positive vibes derived from blogging can drive people to sacrifice their quality of life and their relationships.

The key to avoiding burn-out is maintaining a proper perspective. Blogging should be scheduled around life, and never the reverse. I try to avoid hard and fast guidelines. While I want to post every day, missing a day simply can't be a catastrophe. Life is too short to allow my recreation to make me miserable.

In the end, there must be a time to walk away. Nothing lasts forever, and least of all blogs. I vow that if this blog ever becomes a heavy burden or comes between my husband and me, I will set it aside. Real life must come first.

Question: How do you find out the search terms people use to visit your blog?

Response: The way to get those dopey search terms and a whole lot of interesting stuff is to install a counter on your blog. It's fairly easy and doesn't have to cost anything. I use Google Analytics, but there are several others. These sites provide an amazing array of information about who reads your blog, how they got there, and what they did while visiting.

Statement: 46, M, and professor. IM me on my yahoo IM _____. Where are you from?

Response: What ever happened to “hello?”

Question: But do you have big tits too?

Response: Nope, sorry to disappoint.

Question: What is your favorite TV show?

Response: We don't watch that much television. One series I saw recently and enjoyed was The Tudors (on Showtime in the US). Once again, it's good to be the king.

Question: RU HOT?

Response: Do hot flashes count?

So much for another thought-provoking installment of Ask Bonnie. If you didn't see the question you wanted to ask, just send it in and I will do my best to answer it next time.

Liar Liar: The Truth

2009-11-17T18:00:00.001-08:00

As I had feared, you know me far too well! The answer, as the majority of you are already aware, is number five. I do laugh during spankings, all the time in fact. Maybe I'm nervous, but more often something just strikes (!) me as funny. Randy's faux authoritarian voice gets me every time.

I have some unfinished spanking stories, but there are nowhere near one hundred. I have barely more than one hundred stories published here.

The single-tail passion was pure fabrication. There's no way!

I thought I might fool some longtime readers by referencing the notorious hook. Randy assures me that it's securely screwed into a beam and isn't going anywhere. This tale was inspired by a recent discussion of this very possibility. I told him that if the hook should let go in midst of play, I could get smacked in a place where smacking would be very unwelcome. But it never happened.

I will admit to having spent a lot of money on spanking toys over the years, but no single implement cost anywhere that much.

So there you have it. I'm a lousy liar. :D

Meme: Liar Liar

2009-11-16T18:00:00.003-08:00

I was recently invited by Prefectdt to try a meme he created. The idea is that I present five statements where four of them are false. The challenge for readers is to identify the true statement.

I can do that, and it would be easy if I went off-topic. However, if I stick to my usual subject matter, there isn't much new I can share about my spanking experiences and tastes. After almost 1200 posts, I don't have too many spanko secrets left. Nevertheless, I'm willing to give it a go.

I have over 100 unfinished spanking stories in my archive

One of my secret passions is the single-tail

That notorious hook in our bedroom ceiling came down during play last month

I once spent almost $200 on a spanking implement

I often laugh while being spanked

Would you like to take a guess?

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 15

2009-11-15T18:00:00.008-08:00

Our topic this week dealt with the attraction of spanking as an interest and a pastime. As we might expect, the responses varied widely.

Missy: I think the appeal of spanking is paradoxical: it's corny and nostalgic, yet adventurous and visionary. It's romantic escapism that curiously utilizes ordinary objects like wooden spoons, belts, and woodsheds and somehow imbues them with magical properties. It's exaggerated and improbable, like an opera. It's simultaneously harsh and tender. And best of all, it celebrates imagination, emotion, and introspection, like nothing else I can think of.

littleone: How does one explain what drives one to crave, need, beg for a spanking? It seems to me that it is a bit like trying to explain why I have blue eyes. It is just who I am.

KayLynn: Spanking has unmatched submissive components that produce powerful and exciting fear that I crave on levels that scare me. Nothing else incorporates every aspect of my daily motivations and passions. I'll take the three S's (Spanking, Submission and Sex) over the three C's any day!

R Humphries: It is clear from the wide variety of comments over the years at MBS brunches that spanking tastes vary from titillating erotic foreplay, through domestic discipline, role-playing, exhibitionism and hardcore BDSM. I say each to their own.

My own tastes were undoubtedly established from being a product of the “Last British Cane Generation” and the rituals that surrounded corporal punishment. As a result, I discovered a fascination with writing spanking stories. My Beloved Jojo loves theatre, drama and spanking, so role-playing comes naturally to her. This allows us plenty of opportunity to constantly ponder and create new situations, which keeps that element of our relationship lively and fun.

Besides, I was born in London and have eaten more than enough crumpets, can play cribbage like a demon, and Jojo grows the best chrysanthemums in the universe. So what else is there to ponder but the Fine Art of Spanking?

Jean Marie: Maybe my interest arose because I was never spanked as a child and fantasized about it constantly from a very early age. Maybe it's because I developed an ample, round bottom at puberty, and it has drawn attention ever since. It got pinched nonstop in Paris when I visited there. I wish that I'd had the nerve to have it caned when I visited London. Maybe it's because I gave myself hard bared butt spankings as I masturbated, and found it to be so erogenous a zone.

For a while, I wondered and worried why I was hard-wired to want to be spanked. I talked about it in therapy. I don't know why. But I crave it as fiercely as ever. It fuels my strong sex drive. And it makes me feel complete to be spanked to tears frequently, and to be playfully spanked often. It's usually our form of foreplay. It can be orgasmic. It is who I am.

Curtis: Quite simply, spanking has been at the core of my sexuality since childhood. It is the substance of my masturbatory fantasies, the only fully satisfying form of erotic play, arousing in and of itself and doubly arousing as part of sexual play. I'm a switch. As a spanker, I love the feel of a woman over my lap, enjoying and being aroused, the sting on my hand, the softness of the bottom, the changes in color and temperature, and the warmth when one rubs. As a spankee, I like the feel of the softness of a woman's lap, the feel of her hand on my bottom, the arousing sting and, in both situations, sometimes more than that. For me, it's only play, fun, sensual and erotic and skin-on-skin OTK. But over a long lifetime, it's what has moved me.

Daisy: Crumpets? Delicious and comforting. Cribbage? Exciting, fun, and challenging. Chrysanthemums? Romantic and scary (I hate the earwigs that hide inside!).

Spanking? All of these, and more!

Muffin: I love crumpets! I love crysanthemums! I don't know cribbage, but I do know spanking It's just always been a part of who I am and what I do. I desire it in waves. Sometimes, I want it a LOT, other times I don't want it at all (but still get it). It can be sexual, disciplinary, relaxing, or just fun.

Jim: Crumpets? Gifts from Hestia's fields of waving gold.

Cribbage? Hermes wagers all his gold then steals some more.

Chrysanthemums? Asclepius finds the healing power, hidden in the golden flower.

Spanking? Aphrodite sprinkles powdered gold on a smarting, martial, redness.

Why us? Because we deserved it, for being as good as gold.

Hermione: Why do we meet here to talk about spanking? Because we can!

For many of us, this preference has been a secret we have carried inside for many years. Perhaps the people around us in whom we confided were less than sympathetic, or couldn't understand, or simply didn't want to know. It's wonderful to get the secret thoughts off our chests to like-minded, supportive individuals.

Whatever my interests, I like to discuss them with people who have similar tastes. I do also discuss "crumpets, cribbage and chrysanthemums." There are online forums for pretty much everything. There is a big difference between discussing chrysanthemums with my friends or the people at work and discussing spanking. With the former, my listeners would simply be bored. With the latter, they would be sharing a very intimate part of my life, and it would definitely be a case of too much information. I wouldn't be taking a risk talking about chrysanthemums: I would be, talking about spanking.

Reading and writing about spanking has become a safe haven for me. I have said things I would never have dared to say elsewhere. I have learned so much by reading about the personal experiences of a great many others, and am constantly amazed at how similar, yet how different, we all are.

Anon #1: Why not?

Six of the Best: For me, it's a beautiful and exciting sexual experience. I like to participate in giving spankings and talking with or hearing about others who are punished or sexually turned on by the subject matter.

Spank-A-Lot: I can't speak for everyone else, but this question is one that I have pondered long and hard for many years. I haven't found the answer yet, but I have accepted my spanking interest with open arms despite the lack of a definitive explanation. For you see, my fondness for spankings has been around as long as I can remember. I still vividly remember the times when my mother brought me to her friend's place. There was only one girl my age with whom I could play. Sadly, there were only dolls, but the spanking thoughts were already present then. I guess I may never arrive at the reason why I like spanking.

Ian: As I wrote in my story, Sub White Female Seeks...

"Why spanking?" he asked.

She paused. "Well, you know, because..."

Some things in life don't need to be explained or given a reason. It just is what it is. That's what makes it special.

Diesel Diva: Spanking has been an intricate part of my sexual identification since childhood. I don't know why. But I do know that I don't want to live without it!

Anon #2: I'm not sure if my explanation really qualifies as an answer, but why do people crave chocolates? Or a fine single malt scotch? Or a Cuban cigar? It's because it is part of us. It is what we crave and part of our make up.

Em: I think the basic answer, for me, is because it's part of who I am. I truly believe that my need (and I do mean need, not desire) for spanking is hard-wired into my genetic code.

That said, each of us takes those genetics and shapes how we integrate them into our lives as often as they shape how we integrate our lives with them.

So, why do I *enjoy* spanking? Well, that list could go on and on and on. For the emotional release, the physical sensation, the personal connections, the playfulness, the submissive headspace, the sensuality, and the adventure.

In short, this one activity can be literally anything you want it to be. How fun is that?

It seems as though a lot of your readers are fans of cribbage (not to mention crumpets). Why is my head now drifting to thoughts of kinky Cribbage games with points worth spanks. Perhaps we need to start a kinky cribbage league on Yahoo!

The Cribbage reference was, until now, a kind of inside joke for Randy and me. We have had a Cribbage board for decades, but I'm not sure we've ever played by the rules. Randy fancies the board as a handy wooden spanking implement. If he mentions Cribbage, that means I will soon have a sore bottom.

Our Bottoms Burn: I don't know why I am wired to think about spanking several times a day. My fascination with it started in the first grade and has been with me everyday of my adult life. I gave up pondering why some years back. I just accept it. It's a part of me. I feel that it's no different than anything else that humans are passionate about. Like a lot of things that are sexual, it's not a choice made by us.

Anon #3: Asking "Why spanking?" to me is akin to asking "Why do you kiss your lover?" It's because it's arousing, fun and something that I enjoy!

Now, asking why spanking is arousing, fun and enjoyable is a harder question for me (and these reasons are different for everyone here). It's some combination the submissive aspect, how it builds and cements trust and the fact that I derive pleasure from the sensation of having my butt smacked. Why is that pleasurable to me? It just is. Whether it's genes, early life experience or what, I have no explanation for why I enjoy it, but I know I do! On some level, that's really all that matters. Some things don't need to be analyzed.

Scunge: Sir R and I were talking about this just this past Saturday. I told him I am so much more happier now that I have spanking in my life. This past year has been one of wonderful and exciting discovery and I can't wait to see what the upcoming years have in store for us. My family even noticed that I am so much happier since Sir R and I have been together. Of course, they have NO IDEA about the spanking side, except for a couple of my sisters and my eldest niece. My brother commented to my parents last Christmas that I just was sparkling and that R is so good for me! They will NEVER know the whole story, but they do know I am happier than I have EVER been in my life. I attribute that to finally waking up and embracing my SPANKING side. :)

Prefectdt: I was born with it. I really don't think that spanking ever grabbed my interest. It was just part of me and always will be. I have said it before and I will say it again, IMHO, it is a genetic thing. For some reason, in human evolution, it became essential for the survival of the tribe to have spankos, and here we still are.

Bonnie: I wrote a post a few years ago that I think covers most of the usual reasons why people find spankings appealing. But there is another, more pragmatic explanation. For Randy and me, spankings work. They are the cornerstone of our intimacy, our reconnection, a source of endless enjoyment, and so much more. There is no substitute for success, nor any reason to seek one.

Thanks to everyone who contributed!

MBS Spanko Brunch #200

2009-11-15T06:00:00.002-08:00

Yes, this is our two hundredth weekly brunch. I picked a topic that I think befits the occasion. It's an obvious question, but I don't believe we've ever directly discussed it.

Why spanking? We could easily spend our days pondering crumpets, cribbage, or chrysanthemums. But we don't. What is it about our favorite pastime that grabs and holds your interest?

I hope you'll join our celebration by sharing your thoughts. Even if you have little or no spanking experience, you have an interest (it's why you're here, right?), and that is our topic.

You can participate by entering a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to answer, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.

Embracing the Magic

2009-11-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

MBS recorded its eight millionth page request today. That number boggles my mind.

Thank you, dear friends, for your continuing support! It's been amazing.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 8

2009-11-09T18:00:00.002-08:00

Our topic this week was scolding. Here are your responses.

Todd and Suzy: A scolding is usually a pretty big part of a spanking for us. In a discipline spanking situation, it's probably at least as important as the actual spanking. It's what puts spanker and spankee on the same page and allows the reasons for the spanking to be fully understand.

In a playful situation, it adds to the fun. While a 'just because' spanking can work great, having a reason, even a silly one, seems to make it better. Playful scolding allows for the spanko phrases that so many of us enjoy to be used. "We need to have a little talk about your behavior." "You've been a naughty girl." "You know what happens when you're naughty," etc., etc. Even when doing something as silly as a Spankopoly spanking, there usually is some sort of scolding involved.

Scolding can serve a practical purpose, or a playful one that builds up the butterflies in the tummy anticipation for the spankee. It's not a must, but we do like to include scolding whenever we can.

Hermione: Scoldings aren't part of our spanking rituals, because for us, spankings are erotic foreplay. Ron considers spankings a reward for good behaviour, not bad. Those spanko phrases that Todd and Suzy mentioned would be music to my ears, and I would love to hear them immediately before or during a spanking.

I do get scolded quite frequently for various things I've done or left undone. If the offense isn't too serious and I can see that Ron is only mildly annoyed, I will tell him he's absolutely right, and suggest that I deserve a good spanking. That usually makes him laugh and explain why I don't deserve one. It defuses the situation, even though he won't take me up on my offer.

Jean Marie: I can often get a "read" on how hard the spanking to come will be by the energy expended on my scolding. If it's a finger-wagging tirade, I'm not going to be able to sit for a good while.

I love to be scolded!

Poppy: I hate to be scolded, but it happens if it is a spanking for something serious.

I hate to admit this, but it makes a massive difference to me and how I feel. It takes the experience to a deeper level. It tells me that he knows me and notices me. It tells me that what I do and I how do it matters to him.

I would rather be spanked for twice as long and not scolded. But if he did not scold me, I would not think he loves me as much as he does.

Sigh

Are all women this complicated?

Anon #1: Spanking for me is purely foreplay, but adding some pretend naughtiness is fun. Being scolded in fun for a made up or silly infraction is great fun! It's a way to get in all of those key phrases I love hearing even before a single spank. I love getting those butterflies in my tummy and knowing that I'm about to get pulled over his knee. Often he can tell that I'm not listening to him as he's scolding me because I'm too focused upon what's about to happen. So I get scolded more and spanked harder! It's a wonderful, circular cycle of which I'm quite fond, as is my boyfriend, fortunately!

Scunge: If it is a discipline spanking, I ALWAYS get asked "Why are you getting this spanking ____?" After I give the correct response, Sir starts the spanking but keeps scolding and reminding me why it would be prudent to stop doing what I did. I NEED the scolding part to get into the right head space,otherwise I don't seem to be able to take the spanking very well.

Our Bottoms Burn: I was going to write something like we don't scold because spankings are erotic foreplay for us. Then I read what Hermione wrote. She said, "Those spanko phrases that Todd and Suzy mentioned would be music to my ears, and I would love to hear them immediately before or during a spanking."

Hmmmm, I had never thought about such phrases as being scolding when used in play. So yes, I guess we do use scolding. All those "Young Lady you can just get yourself over my lap right now" et al., said in play do qualify.

Becall does wilt a bit when I have her well warmed up and tell her naughty she is and what I am about to do to her.

Daisychain: The scolding, as has already been said, gets my head into the right frame of mind. I love that he cares enough about me to want to correct my naughty ways! After all, I misbehave to a) get noticed, and b) to get a spanking!
Therefore, the scolding proves that he noticed my behaviour, and that he cares. The spanking shows that he wants to have a good, well-behaved wife, and is prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve that aim.

Now, I just need to work out how to adjust the severity of that aforementioned spanking. LOL

Ronnie: A scolding (lecture) does happen and plays a very important part before and during a discipline spanking. It sets the tone and puts the spankee (me) in the appropriate state of mind. Without it, I wouldn't be able to take discipline spankings and still feel loved, receptive to the (deserved) punishment and genuinely contrite afterward.

It's also great during a fun spanking, but different sets of words and phrases are used, "You know what naughty girls get," "Come here I need to have a word with you," and that kind of thing. It adds to the fun. It gets me going too. Phrases like that aren't for discipline.

Rob: I think a scolding/lecture is very important. It reinforces the reasons for the spanking and puts both of us in the proper frame of mind as Ronnie said earlier. My spouse will sometimes make me tell her why I'm about to be punished, and then delivers the lecture during the spanking. It really does drive home the message in a way that a spanking by itself would not.

Suzanne: My husband always lectures and scolds me before and during a punishment. If he just lectures, he's annoyed, but if he scolds, then I'm in big trouble. I don't particularly like either one of these things as they make me feel worse for disappointing him. I guess that's why they're effective though. They make me totally remorseful for what I've done, which really is the point of a punishment.

Betina: I think that scolding and lecturing is a very important part of a spanking, be it for fun or the serious kind. If it's for fun, it triggers things inside me and the tone is very light and fun. Also, I often tend to backtalk a bit and earn a bit more. If it's serious, my replies are mostly "yes" and "no" or no reply at all just listening and feeling as my bottom gets warmer and I feel sorry for what I've done.

Janet: Lectures are a big part of a spanking in my house. If it is a punishment spanking, they are a huge part of the punishment. I usually hear that he is disappointed in my actions and that hurts worse then any spanking I could receive. I hate to disappoint my HOH.

I just can't get my head in the right space if there is not a lecture along with a spanking. Even during a who's-who, there are always points to be brought up and it helps me to concentrate on why this is happening.

So I guess I need those verbal reminders as well as the painful reminder that he is in charge.

Caylee: Scolding definitely plays a large role in our spankings. As a couple who practices both domestic discipline (to a point) and erotic spankings, there needs to be a firm difference between the two. Otherwise, punishment spankings are nowhere near effective, and erotic spankings wouldn't be fun. Mostly, it isn't the word choice, but the overall tone that differentiates a scolding. "Now, are we going to have to do this again?" can be both stern and playful depending upon how it's said. The reaction can be "No, sir!" or a bratty "Probably!" It all depends on the mood and reason for the spanking.

What folks were saying about scolding getting you into the right frame of mind is absolutely true in our case. Without it, a lot of the meaning goes out of a spanking, whatever kind it might be.

Katia: Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. It just depends on the situation. I prefer the fun teasing ones before a GG. The term “young lady” gives me butterflies no matter who says it. :)

Prefectdt: For my own preferences, I like formalized, ceremonial type play. When the choice is mine, there is no scolding, just the execution-style play.

However, it takes two (or more) to play and if the Top involved likes to hand out a scolding, I am more than happy to play along. It is kind of fun to see how good a woman is at handing out a tongue-lashing, but she has to be aware that it will push my bratting button :)

Anon #2: L has the happy knack of being able to chasten me when I need it without resorting to reproach or blame. My most recent punishment spanking was for ordering something online and being careless about filling out the payment authorisation so we paid twice for the same item. Ironically, I had shopped around to get the best price!

He praised me first for that, saying he knew I was never wasteful or extravagant, but that I was often too abstracted and preoccupied, and that was how I made mistakes. He said this time it had only cost us $25.95, but next time the consequences could be more serious and long-lasting. I nodded dispiritedly, because now I knew what his preventative measure against 'next time' would be. He said the holidays were coming up, and I had to learn to be more attentive and accurate before then, and 'jump start your situational awareness.'

I quailed when he told me to get the paddle. I dislike the paddle, but I also understood and shared his disquiet. This was a remedy that worked for us, consoling and mitigating as no mere 'reprieve' ever could. I did as I was bidden, and without further preamble was drawn over his lap for twenty-five strokes, the amount of the over-payment. Well, at least he didn't 'round up' the 95¢! :)

Mija: There's sometimes a bit of scolding before spanking punishments, generally if Paul thinks I haven't quite gotten why what I did was wrong (or doesn't think I found it wrong enough). It's not usual though.

I have hearing problems, so there isn't much talking from him during spankings. Or maybe there is but I don't notice it.

Impish1: None at all, but as the punishment scene is erotic fodder for me, I wish it did sometimes...

Bonnie: In my definition, scolding is serious. While Randy often unleashes a flurry of words that might sound like scolding, he and I know that they are delivered for dramatic effect, as roleplay, or in jest.

Nevertheless, I appreciate those magic buzzwords. They feed my kinky desire.

Thank you all for participating. Please be sure to join us next week for a special brunch celebration!

MBS Spanko Brunch #199

2009-11-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's time for brunch again and I thank you all for joining us. Our topic was suggested by an MBS reader.

What role, if any, does scolding play in your spanking experiences? How frequently is it used? What are the reasons? How does the spankee typically react?

To join our conversation, all you need to do is enter a comment below. Once everyone has shared their thoughts, I will post an edited summary.

In with the New: Pass the Cranberry Sauce Edition

2009-11-04T18:00:00.003-08:00

Get ready because another bumper crop of exciting young spanking-oriented blogs is headed your way!

I hope everyone will explore these thirteen new blogs and welcome the bloggers to our community. If you find something good while you're visiting, I encourage you to share your praise and support in the form of comments. I can guarantee your words will be appreciated.

Ageplay and Domestic Discipline
All Southern Girl
BabyMan and SugarAnne
Becoming His Mandy
Birchwood Academy
Daddy's Girl
Gentleman's Guide to DD
Janet's Fiction
Katia's Writings
Miss Nicole's Randoms
RandomMusings
The Spanking Universe
Whip's Blogspace

We extend the hand of friendship to each of you! I hope your blogging experiences will be rewarding and fun.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 1

2009-11-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

Our topic this week was advice for a new mother who is seeking to re-kindle her spanking relationship with her husband. Here are your words of wisdom.

Todd and Suzy: We've had times when spankings were an everyday part of our lives, and other times when it's been several weeks. We do tend to talk about spanking quite a bit though, even during those dry spells. That seems to be the number one thing we do to keep the interest going. Beyond that, we do things like get new implements, watch videos, talk with like-minded friends, blog, read stories, and go to parties. Basically, we keep spanking at least in the background.

If you're thinking and talking about it as a couple, actual spankings will flow naturally. While doing things like planning out free time certainly helps, spanking doesn't seem like the sort of thing that can be forced. As for whether it will go away if you leave it alone, that depends upon the person. We've seen people walk away from spanking and seemingly not miss it. Others couldn't give it up, even when they very much wanted to.

Indy: Earlier this year, a rather horrific tragedy occurred in my family. That certainly curtailed my desire for quite a while. I continued to play a little with my regular partners, mostly just for the reassurance of human touch rather than because I really wanted to be spanked. I even attended a couple parties in that time, mainly to see friends who I knew were concerned about me.

In that time, I didn't try anything new or push limits very much. I just enjoyed the endorphin rush and the stress relief. A couple of months later, I found myself REALLY wanting a spanking in a way that I hadn't in a quite a while. So I think keeping my bottom in it with not particularly challenging spanking play, filled with chatting and laughter, helped a lot.

Anon #1: You re-kindle your activity in this form of intimacy just as you do in any other form of intimacy. What works for you there should be tried here. Sometimes, just going out for a night on the town, with no intimacy or its pressures, establishes a feeling of closeness between a couple. The next day, when you both are warm and fuzzy inside, it's OK to sit over coffee or tea and talk about what is and is not happening in your lives. Good luck. Keep the lines of communication open. Life throws you its barriers. It's up to you and your partner to climb over, dig under or run around them.

Caylee: I think there needs to be a sense of easing back into spanking for it to work again. If you just bend over your husband’s lap and he starts whacking away, the pressure of thinking “I used to like this! Why aren’t I liking this now?” will prevent you from fully enjoying the experience. Instead of being a stress reliever, it’s just piling on more. Somehow, it seems like you need to relax before you start spanking. Something like an intimate massage with a couple of smacks thrown in might help, or a warm bath together beforehand. Anon #1's idea about the night on the town was an awesome one – anything out of the ordinary and romantic would be wonderful.

Also, for what it’s worth, having a new baby in the house can’t exactly be helping the stress levels. Getting a close friend or family member to babysit might do wonders, even if it’s just for a couple of hours while you and your husband reconnect without interruptions. In any case, I think the fact that you wish spanking was present in your life means that the desire is just dormant, not gone forever. Good luck, and best of wishes to you, your husband, and the new baby!

Maryann: You recently had a baby. Do whatever you can to be kind to yourself and to your husband. You both need every kindness you can get. A new baby is a wonderful blessing, but also a tremendous undertaking.

When I was nursing a tiny baby, I barely wanted to be touched by anybody else. All of my touch needs were met by the baby. I pushed my husband away.

When I was ready, as it sounds like you are since you are asking the question, I made a choice to put the baby in the swing or the playpen more often. We got out of the house with her in her stroller or car seat a bit more. Basically I just made sure I wasn't saturated with touch when my husband came home. In short order, we were touching each other again.

You'll be fine. Just be kind to yourself.

Muffin: There are lots of good comments here. I'm with Maryann. When I had my babies, I discovered that I didn't want to be bothered, either. There was a sense of needing to find "places" for everybody in the household again. My (then) husband was jealous of the time I spent with the baby, and I was angry about that. So take your time, let everyone settle into their place in the home. As Anon #1 said, get alone together for some private time. Go with any intimate touch, and reassure your husband that you haven't gone off spanking permanently. It'll probably come back to you. I find that my own spanking desire comes in waves or cycles. When I was pregnant the first time was when I "came out" to my first husband (who was vanilla, and was horrified when I asked him to spank me." But after the baby came, I couldn't have been bothered! Life changes do affect your spanking desires. Best wishes and congrats on the new baby!

Prefectdt: I once tried to give up the lifestyle, for about three years. In doing this, I burnt a lot of bridges and upset some people by totally cutting off from them. This was a mistake. It would be only natural that you may need to get away from kinky friends and groups right now, but it it is probably better to do it with tact. This way, you know that they will be there later if you want them.

Anon #2: I have no advice other than the basic communicate well and often. I'm thinking good thoughts for you and your family, though.

Dr. Ken: Interest in spanking can ebb and flow, depending upon what life throws at you. At some point, it usually does come back. You just have to ride it out and give it time.

You can't "force" it, though. Forcing it just might turn your play partner off and make playing with you the last thing they want to do. You both need to work your way through this new situation and get used to a new routine. Eventually, you can find your way back to some of your old beloved routines.

Brat: As one who has never had a baby, I would be the last one to be able to offer an empathetic response. However, you and I have one thing in common. We can both put our feelings into the written word (in my case, better than the spoken word!). I suggest that you write down your feelings/desires and leave the paper in a place where he will see it. Reading that will give him insight, and a man with insight is truly a beautiful creature!

Bonnie: I believe it's very likely you can achieve the change you seek, but it probably needs to be a gradual process. The improvement begins with a few small things. Consider a favorite meal, a gentle touch, an unexpected kiss, words of praise, or a good morning smile. The second step, as so many other have mentioned, is opening lines of communication. You need to talk regularly about adult subjects (yes, the baby IS cute, but there needs to be room for other conversations).

Hopefully, intimacy will naturally happen from there. If it doesn't, you might try scheduling an evening for romance. One of the great features of (most) newborns is that once they are warm, happy and full of milk, they tend to fall asleep and remain that way for a while. You'll learn soon enough that older kids aren't nearly so predictable.

I wish you both the very best and I hope you are able to live your dreams. A baby is a huge responsibility and a continuing distraction, but I can assure you that there are plenty of parents who manage to keep the home fires burning.

Thank you all for sharing your excellent advice!

MBS Spanko Brunch #198

2009-11-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody and welcome back! It's time again for our weekly discussion.

Our topic was originally submitted by an MBS reader as an Ask Bonnie query. But I decided it was too good a question to keep for myself. Here we go...

"How do you get back into spanking after a big life change and a change in desire that goes along with it?

I recently had a baby and during my pregnancy I totally wanted to be spanked all of the time. Now I don't want to be spanked or do anything that goes along with it. My husband and I are bickering and that leads to a lack of sexual desire for me. The idea of asking for a spanking just seems weird when we're not getting along.

On the other hand, I believe that getting back into spanking would be good for our relationship. Spankings have a way of relieving my stress, and his too I believe. It also creates a more respectful and playful household which we are so lacking right now.

So, how do I force myself to get back into it when there isn't much desire at present? And if I leave it alone, will it just go away? Will spanking never be a part of our lives again? In other words, do I have to do something to rekindle, and if yes, have you any suggestions?"

There you have it, right from the source. How can we help our friend? What guidance would you offer?

Please leave your response in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to answer, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

The Spanko Tapes

2009-10-28T18:00:00.003-07:00

This post has been literally months in the making. For the amusement of MBS readers, I recorded a conversation between Randy and me. I transcribed the discussion immediately before a spanking. It was fun and readers seemed to enjoy it.

So, I figured, why not record a spanking? Wouldn't that be even better?

As it turned out, the transcribed audio from a single spanking was fairly boring. After about five iterations, “Whack! Ow!” becomes monotonous, especially in printed format.

I needed another idea. There was some good dialogue, but these nuggets were often widely spaced. So I assembled the following series of vignettes from a number of different recordings. All of the dialogue took place while Randy was giving me a spanking. I edited ever so slightly to enhance the clarity, but the conversations are otherwise authentic.

R: What a beautiful round bottom you have

B: Ow. Thanks, I think

R: I love how it flares at the hips and kind of tucks under where it meets your legs

B: Ouch!

R: And these curvaceous crests right here...

B: If you love it, why do you hit it? Oh!

R: Because your rear looks so gorgeous painted red

B: I guess I should have expected that answer

- - - - -

R: Do you know why I spank you hard?

B: Because if you spanked me softly, I might not notice?

R: No

B: Is it so I'll remember you fondly?

R: You're getting warmer

B: Very funny

R: I spank you hard because you deserve it

B: I deserve it? How so?

R: You soooo deserve your hard spankings

B: Why? I've been good

R: Precisely. For a woman who loves to be spanked, what better reward could there be? You totally deserve to be spanked until you can't sit

B: (silence)

R: You especially love it when I hit you with this brush. Right HERE where you sit...

B: Ouch. You're confusing me

- - - - -

B: Eeeyow! What is that?

R: It's a paddle

B: It hurts

R: You're getting spanked. It's supposed to hurt

B: Yeah, so you say. But what is that thing?

R: Wouldn't you like to know. Hey, get back in position!

B: I just wanted to see what you are using

R: Just for that, you'll get double

B: Double what?

R: Double spankings

B: If you always decide when it's done anyway, double has no meaning for me

R: OK, then. Does this have a meaning?

B: Ack! No. Wait!

R: So do you like double? Or would you like to try for triple?

B: You're mean

R: That may be, but your bottom is bright red

B: Double mean

R: How do you feel about quadruple sore?

B: Humpf

- - - - -

R: Your ass is simply designed with spanking in mind. It's perfect. I spank really hard and it just bounces right back

B: That's because I work out

R: No, really. I think it's like an evolutionary advantage. You are the product of centuries of spanko women

B: I don't think my mother was a spanko

R: Well maybe it was a great-aunt or something, but you have the ass genes

B: How could I inherent ass genes from my great-aunt, Mr. Science?

R: Easy, they're recessive

B: I don't even think I have a great-aunt

R: Work with me here. Nature designed you to lie across my lap

B: So did (adult daughter) get these genes?

R: We're not going there

B: She should have gotten my cast iron butt and your neanderthal sense of humor, right?

R: Obviously, I'm not spanking hard enough

B: Ow!

- - - - -

R: So are you having fun yet?

B: Fun?

R: Yeah, you tell all your blog friends how much fun it is to get your butt beat. Are you enjoying this?

B: I don't know. Ow

R: To read your blog, you'd think this (whack whack whack!) is pretty much better than a chocolate orgasm

B: I didn't say that

R: Are you *sure* you didn't say that?

B: No, but it doesn't sound like something I would say

R: Nevertheless, you say that spankings are fun

B: Yeah, I guess

R: So, is this spanking fun?

B: Ow. Yes, it is. Ouch.

R: Are we a bit sarcastic?

B: You ask a lot of questions

R: I just want to know if you're having a good time

B: OK, I'm loving it all. All except the twenty questions that is

R: Do you really love it?

B: %#$&!

- - - - -

So, there you have it. There's a lot more, but these snippets should provide a taste of our banter.

Ask Bonnie: The Solicitation

2009-10-27T06:00:00.001-07:00

You asked me to answer, so I'm answering you by asking...

...Have you any questions for me?

If you are so inclined, you can leave me a comment or send me an e-mail.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 25

2009-10-26T18:00:00.003-07:00

Our topic for the week was favorite Halloween characters and their spanko inclinations. Here are your thoughts.

Anon #1: I would be Count Dracula. Instead of biting my damsel's neck, I would take her across my knees, lower her lingerie, and bite her bottom softly. Then I would put some color in it with a gradually increasing intensity spanking.

Hermione: I would be Little Lulu, in a short red dress and big white bloomers, with my hair in ringlets. Lulu often got spanked in the comic books of my childhood, so I'm sure there would be an opportunity for history to repeat itself.

If we were dressing up as a couple, Ron would be Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, and I would be that naughty little Tinkerbell. Peter would have to spank Tink for being so mischievous.

Missy: Right now I'm reading The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane. It's a new novel about the Salem Witch Trials, and written by a descendent of two of the accused. I love history and I've always been fascinated by the story. I even played Mary Warren in The Crucible in high school.

In the play, her boss John Proctor twice threatens to whip her if she doesn't stop making up stories and accusing innocent people, but he never actually does. I used to look with covert longing at the switch hanging conspicuously on the wall while ostensibly running my lines. In one scene, I had to grab it from him and hiss,"Nay! There'll be no more whippings." While my inner spanko self wheedled subversively,"Okay, just one more then." LOL

I would love to dress up and do a revisionist alternative version of the classic play, where Mary does get both of those threatened/promised punishments, and comes to her senses before anyone is executed.

And because spanking is romantic for me, I might even have Mary and the handsome young Reverend Hale fall in love. They would realise their mutual feelings when he was spanking her for bearing false witness. That's a commandment, so it's a biggie to a minister! As young newlyweds, Mary would earn a trip over her otherwise fond and doting (of course! LOL) husband's knee for everything from carelessly letting the cakes burn while gossiping in the street, to joking about her new name being the very un-Puritan sounding, "Hale, Mary."

Janet: I would love to dress as a Victorian lady of substantial means. You know, she's the type we always read about in romance novels with a beautiful satin gown with a low cut front and the thick dress layers, petticoats, corsets, etc.

It would be fun to see how long it took my HOH to get through the layers and down to business!

Prefectdt: I would like to dress as the ghost of T.E. Lawrence (aka Lawrence of Arabia), in all his Bedouin finery. He was just about the most respect-worthy, adventuring spankee who ever lived.

How would I work spanking into this role? Easy. I would just act like Lawrence and get my ass whupped by as many people (preferably female) as I could.

Our Bottoms Burn: I will be dressed, again, as John Wayne. Stop by and let's see if we can work spanking and related fun into the evening. [grinning]

I always wanted to spank Tinker Belle.

Anon #2: I would be dressed as the headmaster with my woman as the naughty student. I would wear a shirt and tie. She would wear a school uniform with high socks. She would, of course, have non-traditional lingerie under the outfit, giving me the extra reason to spank her when I check out her adherence to school policy. Of course, we would have other rules that she violated such as smoking, hanging out in the boys' bathroom, etc. So it would be a very fun evening for us.

Anon #3: My boyfriend is dressing as a super hero from a 1990's TV show. I'm not sure how I will dress up to complement it. I've thought about just dressing in some of our favorite dress-up outfits and doing a fashion show at our personal Halloween party. I doubt I'll be attending a more traditional one this year anyway.

Jean Marie: Missy's posting was so hot!

My boyfriend will compliment me this year. I have a Native American headdress that I show to my school class when we study how tribes used their environments. I'll wear it and a tan (leather-looking) string bikini, moccasins, and war paint on my face and nothing else, going as Tonto. Kyle has a tight gray ensemble with a white cowboy hat, black mask and boots, going as the Lone Ranger. Kemosabe may even hint publicly about the smoke-signals we send with my fiery bottom when behind closed doors. Hi-Yo!

Ms. Betty: We dress up at work, and this year I've chosen the Devil in a Blue Dress as my costume. I think a braided rope whip hanging from my belt will be the perfect accessory.

Six of the Best: I would like to go dressed as President Obama, and meet someone who looks like Sarah Palin. Upon being introduced to her, I would take her over my knee, raise her dress waist high, pull down her panties, and while she is only wearing garter-belt and stockings, spank that bare bottom of hers, good and proper. And I mean blushing red.

Padme: I dressed up as a Goth schoolgirl this year for Halloween when I went to a play party. The character that I'd like to be for Halloween is Padme from the Star Wars movies. I've seen the costume and I'd love to wear it one day! :)

I would wear my costume for Master Anakin and get him to dress up in his Darth Vader costume and we would roleplay and he would spank me with his lightsaber. We'd have a lot of fun with it all for Halloween! :)

Dave: My favorite thing is dressing as a deadly Ninja warrior, complete with totally fake looking cheesy sword. :-) So I can unleash my inner Samurai spanko powers.

Poppy: We don't really do dressing up for Halloween on this side of the pond, but if we did, I would be a little dull and go as a schoolgirl. I would be enrolled in a school and, well, you know the rest.

Jennie: The schoolgirl is the classic. I once wore an authentic *grin* schoolgirl outfit to a Halloween party. I even had the little criss-cross tie. I got spanks from people (guys) who I had no clue were into it.

Other than that, I want to be a Southern belle with a big ol' hoop skirt and billowly (what are they called?) underwear with legs and little frills at the end. Come and get me, Rhett!

Missy: Oh, thank you, JeanMarie. That was really sweet. You've consistently been one of my favorite MBS brunchers and your Indian costume sounds great. I've always loved the 'Colors of the Wind' sequence in Pocahontas. We sang that in my high school chorus in '95.

Jennie, they're called 'bloomers' and I got mine at an online shop called The Misty Thicket. They have a drawstring waist with a little blue ribbon. They're so easy to untie before when you're fearful and hesitant, and re-tie after when you're tearful and penitent.

Jai: This year, Halloween is not gonna be candy filled and party studded, mainly because I have an evil religion professor who enjoys major tests and abhors the idea of Halloween (Please pity me!).

So, instead, I will tell you about my favorite costume. When I was a junior in high school, I went out with my friends dressed as Hester Prynne from Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter". Full cap and gown and heavy shawl overthrow with a red felt letter A on my chest.

Thinking back, that is a great costume to be spanked in! A puritan harlot? LOL

Muffin: We don't really do Halloween either, so it's just as well. I guess it would be easy to go as a naughty nurse, since I am one already. And I've lost enough weight now, I might be able to get back into my schoolgirl skirt. As for Mr. D, he always makes a great headmaster. Other than that, we have no imagination here at all. Some of your ideas were really cute, though.

Loki: I like Jiminy Cricket and Tinkerbell because the wife and I had planned to recreate the spanking picture that was done with them.

We can't do it this year, but just wait until next Halloween!

Bonnie: We're going to a (vanilla) Halloween party this weekend. Randy will be a lumberjack (think red plaid shirt and suspenders). I plan to be a sexy witch. I have a fairly short, black dress and I plan to wear it with a black cape, black hose, and the expected black, pointed witch hat. I know Randy will appreciate this look. The only question is whether he will find it necessary to spank before or after the party.

Thanks, everybody!

MBS Spanko Brunch #197

2009-10-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Halloween provides us with a classic opportunity to pretend to be someone (or something) we are not. We've talked about spankings at Halloween before, but it's been a couple of years. I think it's time to revisit this question.

What character would you like to be this Halloween? Assuming you were dressed as your character, how would you work spanking and related fun into your holiday celebration?

To share your answer to our question, you can enter a comment below. Once everyone has taken a turn, I will post an edited summary of our brunch conversation.

Keyword Chaos: Writer's Block Edition

2009-10-22T18:00:00.002-07:00

Keyword Chaos strikes again. Here are some search phrases that somehow brought people to MBS.

different tickling positions - Really, who knew?

discipline bride, spanking, sex - Though not necessarily in that order

doggy style punishment - Please don't hit me on the nose with a newspaper

even though you're adult spanking is still possible - It's more than just possible

family paddling discipline wife - The family that flays together stays together

free lessons on how to spank your wife - Where's Arthur Murray when we need him?

homemade thong brush spanking - I wonder which part is homemade?

how to spank without damaging skin - Consider a cold shower

how to stop the wooden paddle of bakers to burn - Don't use it as a spanking implement

I must spank my wife - You really need to just ignore those voices in your head

kinky progressive girl commercial - You'll need a trampoline, a pogo stick, and a bushel basket of turnips

Mandy skirts up panties down spanking stories - It's got to be Mandy. Mindy stories simply won't do.

mechanical spankers - Danger, danger, Will Robinson!

naughty playful little girls adult spanking - OK, let's make up our minds here. Naughty or playful? Little girls or adults?

pail relief spanking therapy - I'm still not fully recovered from that traumatic trip to the beach last summer

spanked in her foundation garments - Discipline must be built upon a firm foundation

spanking beanches - Bean nachos? Beatrice branches? Beat ranches?

spanking naughty sissies - Of course no one would bother spanking the well-behaved sissies

spanking shame massage - Say what?

spanking simulators - I can't imagine that would be very satisfying

spanking wife types - If she can type and spank at the same time, that's some serious multi-tasking

spanking your bitch - You leave that pooch alone!

spankos shoe inserts - There's a whole other world out there

trailers of first time spankings - I have to think that most first time spankings don't happen in mobile homes

whack your wift - Oh, hello Elmer

young wives get bare bottom spankings - Old wives take what we can get

extended wear butt plug - Another fine product from Bausch and Lomb

pleated school skirt humiliated - You pathetic piece of cloth! Your plaid is crooked, your pleats are wrinkled, and you're way too short!

adult pankings - My dictionary tells me that pank is a Croatian word meaning punk. So adult panking must be some sort of messy Balkan age regresssion

Bonnie's bare bubble butt - For your information, my bubble butt is fully clothed right now

curing spank fantasy - Cure? Why in the world would we want to cure that?

did you have a red bottom after the spanking - Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

experiences of housewives who get still spankings - As opposed to those who move around?

fun loving punishment for my man - Never the twain shall meet, or so I thought

I need adult stories about Anakin and Padme - That's a whole different blog

I spanked my wife - Congratulations and I hope you both enjoyed the experience

is spanking girlfriend disrespectful? - Not if she likes it

Kate James spanko - Right you are

Miss Lucy scheduled spanking - She can work you in next Tuesday at 4:20

rasta cheerleading spanks - Mon, you really need to lighten up on the ganga

reluctantly putting on silky panties - The cotton pair gets so jealous

sex positions illustrated - I wonder what's going to be in the swimsuit edition this year

skinny ass to bubble butt - All it took was a quart of chocolate ice cream every night for a month

spanking horse butts pics - Beating a 1500 pound animal sounds like a huge mistake

spanking stories about bones - She's red, Jim

spanking t-shirt pants white socks - What do white socks...? Wait. Never mind. Don't explain it.

Spanko decor - I could totally write a post about Nuevo Spanko Style

the female bottom is designed to spank - Yeah, that's what Randy always tells me

what is the spanking present position? - That's where you lie naked over the kitchen table with a bow stuck onto your bottom

what were you spanked with? - A trailing preposition

why do I want to spank myself? - Because you haven't found a suitable partner yet

why does my husband smack my bum in public? - Because he knows you like it

wif spank - Swing and a miss, strike one!

Roman spanking - Just hope they don't make you count the strokes

In with the New: Frost Warning Edition

2009-10-20T06:00:00.002-07:00

Could there be even more excellent young spanking-oriented blogs?

You betcha!

I invite MBS readers to visit these fourteen new additions to our community. If you find something you like, I encourage you to share your praise and support in the form of comments. I can guarantee your words will be appreciated.

A Disciplined Life
Bumtickler
Finding Our Way
Home at Last
Husbandly Touch
Jslittlelady's Blog
Just Peter
Kisses n' Stuff
Leaving Logic at the Door
Lily Starr's Spanking Blog
News of the Lash
Spanking Place
Spanking Stories and Pictures
Tales of Spanking and Sexual Acts

We happily welcome all of you! I hope your blogging experience will be rewarding and enjoyable.

MarQe's Study Order of Merit

2009-10-19T18:00:00.001-07:00

I am delighted to announce that My Bottom Smarts was recently awarded the MarQe's Study Order of Merit.

That's very cool. Thank you, MarQe!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 18

2009-10-18T18:00:00.006-07:00

Our topic this week was sources for spanking implements. Here are your ideas.

RPT (Fred Bloggs): The Home Depot and Wal-Mart kitchen department are better than sex shops to the totally perverted looking for pervertibles. Online, I use eBay. Yay for kinky folk selling implements. Search for Kinky, Spanking or Fetish.

The London Fetish fair is wonderful to browse around.

R Humphries: There are some great purveyors of specialist wares on the net. Adam and Gillian, Canes4Pain and The London Tanners are all superb. For caniacs, I'd highly recommend the Deluxe Cane from Adam and Gillian. It comes with a handy protective carrying case and a storage scabbard.

However, some of the great finds are happened upon unexpectedly, We have a 99 cent flat-faced wooden spatula that My Beloved Jojo calls the 'skin-sucker.' We found it in Wal-Mart. Maybe best of all, There's a wooden spoon I came across while exploring the Northern Andes in Peru. It's made from perished wood and is ideal for close-in OTK operations. Keep your eyes peeled and you'll find great spanking instruments in the most unlikely of venues!

Katia: Most of my implements have been gifts from girlfriends, which I always love to reciprocate.

The few I have purchased have come from Cane-iac. I am in the process of having John from Leather Thorn Paddles make me a custom one as a gift for my hubby.

I have to wonder how many people have ended up with those cooking implements that Luke tested on my tush in the department stores. :)

Charlie: I find that the best place is my wood working shop. I love finding some exotic wood and making a lovely paddle – with or without holes. I then put on some extra finish to give it that perfect ouch!

Spanky: I vote for home improvement places like Lowe's or Home Depot. They are a good source for 5-gallon paint stirrers, which make amazing spanking implements. They are given away free if you ask. Be sure to give them a good sanding before you use them though. We've been using the same one for several years, and I really like it. There are lots of other pervertables at such stores, too.

Hermione: I like checking out the kitchen supply websites for spoons and spatulas. Willams-Sonoma and Ashton Green stock great kitchenware pervertibles of high quality. They are heavy enough to make an impact and durable so they won't break. Pottery Barn is a good source for bath brushes.

For riding crops, whips and bats, try a local tack shop, or order from Horse Tack Co.

My favourite places to browse are thrift shops and flea markets. If they sell clothing, there are always plenty of thick, supple leather belts and slippers, and who knows what else you might find?

Anon VII: I remember, back in the '70s, there were a lot of bumper stickers throughout the South and Southwest that read, "When in doubt, whup it out" (it's a bad pun under the circumstances, I know!). Well, I've "whupped out" several implements for us, since we've not been satisfied with much we've found. One exception was the fantastic paddle she found at a local place called simply “The Toy Store.” She also found our favorite spanking attire for her there, plus a pair of absolutely ridiculous, but useful, platform shoes at a flea market.

Online has been a flop. Ergo, I've made most of our implements. Our favorite is a long paddle that's thin and hard,. It's wider at the business end than at the swinging end to give it added momentum and has a couple of small metal strips epoxied to the end on the outer side to add to the impact. ,I added a thick coat of varathane on the impact side to make it almost like Lexan, but without the weight. Both the sound and the effect are similar to leather, but with added force and bite. Another favorite is a thick leather paddle that I fashioned from a piece of an industrial machine belt scavenged from an old factory that was being torn down.

Jean Marie: I'm the Queen of Pervertibles!

I got a large-headed rubber spatula at a Tupperware party, and then had to sit and wait for everyone to leave my house before my lover could try it out on me. It's one of my favorites!

I inherited a razor strap from my Grandpa's estate, but it was stiff and cracked. So imagine my glee when I found a better quality one at a yard sale! And from Grandma, I got a rattan carpet-beater that is lethal.

My boyfriend will go shopping with me, just so we can rummage around together. For example, he'll veer off from me in a shoe store to buy a pair of Keds tennis shoes. The pebbly soles really smart, almost as much as a flat rubber soled pair of bedroom slippers he bought to paddle me. In the Beauty Supply store, he'll try out every flat wooden hairbrush against the palm of his hand until I'm so turned-on that I have to leave. In the hardware store, there are slender wooden dowls (homemade canes), lengths of rubber hose, even just an extension cord can be applied with excellent results.

Handsdown: Thank you all so much for posting responses to my question. I've also found my most beloved wooden spoon in the kitchen department at Wal-Mart. I'm also looking at a bread board with a handle. It would be so cool if some of you who make your implements could also post a picture. If you have your own blogs or somewhere to post it. I love home-fashioned implements and the stories behind them (pun intended). LOL I've not been too satisfied with what I've found online so far, but I will check out some of the sites y'all have listed. Again, thanks everyone.

Todd and Suzy: The best place is probably online from a professional company or person that has a good reputation. We especially like those that are actually spankos themselves. The folks at Cane-iac, The London Tanners and our friend Amber race to mind. I would avoid adult bookstore type places. While they usually do have spanking paddles and the like, they're usually low quality and overpriced. Adam and Eve is pretty bad too. It seems easy to find problems when you drift away from the spanko-specific market. We like to keep our money in the community anyway.

As for pervertibles, there are so-so many places. It really depends on what you're looking for. Department stores that sell kitchen implements, errr, items are pretty good. We like antique stores too. But simple places like Wal-Mart and dollar stores are pretty good too. They're everywhere! You just have to look.

Ms. Betty: Your local thrift store is one of the best places for pervertables. Look for shoe horns, spatulas, cutting boards, back scratchers, and odd little wooden knick knacks. The list is endless. I even managed to pick up a functional whip at the one where I work. Oh, and I also found a handy 100 feet of marine rope, but that's another story.

A few months ago, I posted on my blog some pictures of things I've found at my store. It's only the tip of the iceberg. At least once a week, I bring home something useful for warming bottoms. My latest finds were a nice thick hardwood ruler and a hand carved salad fork and spoon set from Ghana.

A few years ago, I even found a nice thick oak paddle with holes at a Salvation Army. You have to do some digging, but any second-hand store is likely to be a pervertable gold mine.

As for new, at least one strap from The London Tanners is a must.

Missy: Online specialty shops tend to be too pricey for me. My favourite implement is a lovely reddish brown Italian calfskin belt I got at the St. George rummage sale (in Gramercy Park) for $3. It's beautiful to wear as a belt as well (a purely secondary concern, LOL). Ironically, the sweet-faced woman who rang it up exclaimed,"What a beautiful belt! This is such a good buy." And later added,"Enjoy your belt." If only she knew!

I wonder if rummage sales in affluent neighborhoods in Kentucky ever sell riding crops?

Anon: The Loveless Cafe has a guitar shaped cutting board that is PERFECT for spanking! This is a must-have item. My girlfriend loves getting spanked with this.

Our Bottoms Burn: Our favorite toys come from our workshop. I cut and shape and Becall sands and varnishes them. It's fun to find out how a piece of wood will feel when made into a paddle.

Betina: In my country, there are not many spanking stores (at least not near where I live). Therefore, I tend to make implements myself or look at the local recycle store. Here you can get great wide leather belts for about two dollars and they can be made into straps and leather paddles.

I made a few wooden paddles and I love hairbrushes too. I also love the flat summer sandals like espadrilles. They are 5-10 dollars and have a sole made of weaved hemp with a rubber finish underneath. There is a good weight and sting in those. They are similar to the feel of a hand, but more ouch effect.

When I go shopping in general, I can't help but notice an object that could maybe have an alternative use.

Mary: The London Tanners have wonderful leather items. The quality is amazing and the feel is divine.

S.N.M.: I have never gone shopping for toys (I've never gotten a chance to play with toys either, unfortunately). However, having tested out a number of pervertables on myself, I think I can confidently say that any store that sells basic kitchenware can satisfy your spanko needs. For cutting boards, spoons, spatulas, etc., Wal-Mart is just fine.

Ronnie: I like kitchen shops (for wooden spoons and spatulas), stationery shops (for wooden and plastic rulers), and DIY stores.

We've bought riding crops and schooling whips from Croft Equestrian.

I recommend Cane-iac and John from Leather Thorn Paddles. His leather paddles are really lovely and both give excellent service.

eBay is another good place.

Radha: The local hardware store is a favorite of ours. We're always there anyway and it's always fun to find a pervertable, or think of various ways to DIY an implement.

Dr. Ken: I don't know about pervertibles, but the best place I've found for implements is The London Tanners. My favorites (so far) are the Ruler Strap and the Boudoir Strap.

Bonnie: My husband, Randy, sees many common objects as potential bottom-warmers. With that sort of ingenuity afoot, I don't have to look very hard.

I think everyone's suggestions are excellent, so there isn't that much left to add. If you want a real fraternity/sorority paddle, try a university bookstore. A few tourist traps in the rural US still sell those cute novelty paddles. They're typically not especially effective, but they are fun as spanko collector's items.

You can find heavy hairbrushes, both wooden and plastic, at a beauty supply store. Then there's eBay, the world's garage sale, for those really unusual pervetibles.

Thanks to everyone who added their experience and expertise to our discussion. I hope you'll join us again next weekend.

MBS Spanko Brunch #196

2009-10-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello again, dear friends. I hope everyone has recovered from this week's LOL frenzy. Handsdown contributed our brunch question. She asks:

Where is the best place to obtain spanking implements, both those designed for the purpose and trusty pervertibles?

So where are your favorite kinky shopping destinations, be they brick and mortar establishments or web sites? I hope you'll share your discoveries in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had an opportunity to answer, I will post an edited summary of the proceedings.

Thanks, in advance, for your suggestions!

Love Our Lurkers: The Final Tally

2009-10-16T12:00:00.005-07:00

Wow. Whew. Thanks, everybody!

144 Participating Blogs
2,627 Total Comments

Love Our Lurkers IV

2009-10-13T00:01:00.071-07:00

Welcome, my friends, to our fourth annual Love Our Lurkers Day! This is our community's opportunity to share the love with our silent readers. I know from my statistics that there are thousands of readers of this blog who have never left a comment. If this sounds familiar, then today is for your day.

During last year's event, 87 spanking-oriented blogs posted LOL messages and they received 1,971 comments. Better still, we met many, many great people. Quite a few remain regular readers to this day. Several have become successful bloggers in their own right.

This year, we invited 231 bloggers to participate! And it's all for you.

While we may not see your face or read your words, we know you're out there. Even in silence, your return visits provide a gentle affirmation.

I would like to invite you to leave a comment below. It can be as long or short as you choose. You can use a fake name or no name at all. What's important is that you poke your head up just far enough that we might see you.

If you feel chatty, please feel free to share your outlook on adult spanking. Or if you'd rather, please tell me how I might make this blog more interesting, more useful, more attractive, more spanky, or more fun. I'm always in the market for great new ideas. If a simple hello is enough for you, I'll welcome that as well.

In any case, I look forward to meeting you!

Here's a running list of other great blogs that are participating in today's festivities:

Cherry Red Report	Creative Spanko Wench
Spanked Hortic	Caroline Grey - Getting It
Zille Defeu’s Fetish Fantasies	Turn the Page
AngelBrat	Cutiepie's Sexy Spanking Blog
Spanking Terri	My Spanking Blog
Fantastic Spanking	She Obeys
F/M Spanking World	True Switch
The Inner Workings of Dixie	Curvaceous Dee
Loving Discipline	Terri's Rambles
You Can Say It Here	Laurie's Ramblings of a Madwoman
Spanked, Not Silenced	Spanking Sarah Jane
Kinks and Collars	At Longing's End
Zelda's Time-out	This Girl's Life
Luvbunny's Journal	Submission & Metaphor
Erica Scott	Works of Shrew
Lair of the Dragon Mage	Clare Fonda Spanking
Spectacularly Spanked	Knee-See
A Slave's Tale	Confessions of a Spanked Princess
Michelle Carlyle	Kitty Unleashed
Mystery Minx	Spanking Pixie
All Things Spanking	Davey's Place
My Dirty Little Secret	Dark Musing
James Stephenson	Motions in the Heart of E
Paige Tyler	About Spankings
Winterbrook Hall	Yeowch: English Spanking Erotica
Thomas's Spanking Exploits	Wallflower: Perceptions from the Edge
Robin's Red Bottom	Jay Walker's Blog
Chross Guide	Transitions
Adele Haze's "Spanking Model Speaks"	By Any Other Word
The Punishment Book	Maryann's Thoughts
At a Kinky House	BDSM is Love
Devlin O’Neill’s Weblog	MarQe's Study
Lash-A POV	Insatiable Desire
Random Perverted Thoughts	Voice in the Corner
Under His Hand	The Journey
The Spanking Spot	Think Pink
Jane Says	Radha Sutra
Ludwig's Rohrstock-Palast	El Tercer Ojo
Spanking Online Blog	The Bare Bottom
Spanking Blogg	Spanking News Blog
Ms. Betty's World	Memoirs of a MILF
Ally Steps Forward	Natty's Spanking Blog
Spanking Kate James	Katisms: Ramblings of an überbrat
Green Roots Down	Breaking the Rules
Radspace	Living Domestic Discipline
Tiny Miranda	Strange Imagination
Prayers and Pashminas	Caned Schoolgirls Blog
Spanking Minnesota	Not Quite What I Had in Mind
Red Hot Chili Bottom	A Day in the Life
Vesta's Submission	The S Word
Cultured Discipline	Spanking Bethie
A Subtle Slavegirl	Heart and Soul
Freshly Spanked	Keagen's Spanking Memoir
The Training Blog of Mark	Making Time for Sex
A Complicated Kitten's Journey	A Painful Awakening
Quest Five	Tales of Spanking And Sex
Lu Through the Looking Glass	Cowgirl's Spanking Journey
The Cookie Jar	Jujubees' Journal
Cassie's Space	American Spanking Society
Her Secret Corner	Poppy's Submissions
This Cat is Crazy	The Spanking Writers
Journey to the Darkside	The Daily Toast
Supplicium Post Mortem	New Beginnings
Down the Rabbit Hole	A Freedom to Submit
Externally Motivated Wife	Florida Dom's Corner
Husbandly Touch	Ms. Cassandra Park
DazyGal's Desire	The Woody Back to School Unit
Masterful Strokes	Finding Sara
Hermione's Heart	My Bottom Smarts
New(ish) to Spanking	Daisychain
Not My Original Vows	Meow Learns about Life
Doonstar Two	Our Bottoms Burn

I hope you are able to visit these friends and say hello. Each blog has its own unique style and flavor. Whatever your spanking interest, I'm sure there are several you will find appealing.

I tried to find e-mail addresses for as many spanking-oriented bloggers as I could, but there were several that I couldn't reach. If you know anyone in our community who wasn't notified, please by all means invite them to join us. If you are among this group or if your invitation was trapped by a naughty spam filter, I sincerely hope that you will create your own Love Our Lurkers post!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 11

2009-10-11T18:00:00.002-07:00

Our topic this week was the future of spanking. Here are your insightful reflections.

Our Bottoms Burn: We don't feel repressed at all. If someone does, we feel it is all in their minds rather than external. I have not noticed any condemnation of adult spanking by the media. It's been quite the opposite.

People need to accept themselves as they are. The enjoyment of spanking is widespread and I think it will continue to grow through thoughtful blogs like MBS.

To those that have yet to "come out" to other spanking enthusiasts, I strongly encourage you to delurk. I can almost guarantee you will start to like yourself better.

Florida Dom: I often call spanking the last taboo and I don't know why that is. One of those magazine TV shows recently had a woman who breastfeeds her kids until they're about six. But yet they never do a segment on why people like to spank and get spanked. Has even Oprah ever dealt with this? Or what about those wild shows like Maury and Springer? It's occasionally featured on HBO's Real Sex.

But even if it doesn' become mainstream, I think the Internet has allowed spankos to find each other and realize there are a lot more of us that people think. I don't know if that's the best we can hope for now.

When I was a teenager in the 1950s, I had no idea there were so many people like me. The good thing is that today's teenagers know that because of the cyber world. For now, I don't know if we can hope for much more.

S.N.M.: Repressed?

I don't think we're particularly repressed. Ours is just one of many common sexual fetishes. I think the only reason people are ashamed to talk about it is because society is ashamed of sexuality in general, and any permutations of the vanilla norm make it worse.

If everyone suddenly knew I was a spanko, I don't think my relationships with anyone would change (though they might occasionally make jokes). The only reason they don't know is because they don't ask, and they shouldn't. A person's sexuality is no one else's business.

Hermione: A century or so ago, women were prohibited from voting. Female medical students were ridiculed, harassed, and even expelled. Fifty years ago, blacks and whites would never have studied, travelled or eaten together. Not so long ago, gay marriage would have been unthinkable.

I think times are changing, and eventually spanking will become as commonplace and accepted as other forms of sexual activity. It's possible that more positive media attention could help in that acceptance. Maybe as the number of blogs grows, our presence might make an impact.

Spanking isn't new, nor is it unknown to many adults. I think our time will come.

Muffin: Mr. D says that the internet has already expanded the world's exposure to spanking, helping people to realize it's not such a weird quirk, and that it is more common than people thought. He recalls that it wasn't too many years ago that the only way you could find anything related to spanking was through magazines that were difficult to find, and expensive when you did.

That being said, we had an experience this week that fits this topic well. We decided, for spiritual and moral reasons (and Muffin's temporary bout of insanity) to "come out of the closet" to one of our church's leaders. I made the colossal error of telling him we were making bare-bottomed spanking videos. WHERE WAS MY BRAIN THAT DAY? It turns out he knew very little, if anything, about LDD, referring to it as "a bit of sadomasochism," (add posh British accent). We discovered that he was accepting of whatever we chose to enjoy in the privacy of our own bedroom, as long as we were mutually consensual. He was content for us to be participating in written forums on the internet, but he's not pleased with the videos. So moral righteousness steps in. But we're still content, spiritually, with what we've been doing, so I don't envision much of a change in our practices.

Do we think it will ever change? Maybe to a small extent, but I think that by having become so open to the concept myself, that I expect the rest of the world to just know that I'm a hard-wired spanko by looking at me. When our church friend was so stunned, I was shocked at his innocence! For me, I'd love to see the day I could wear a "Spank Me" tee-shirt in public! LOL

Meow: I think that there will always be people who look at you and see only how different you are, whether you're gay, goth, spanko, old, overweight, handicapped or just different in some identifiable or outspoken way. As soon as we "come out," they wonder how we could "do it" in some way different from how they "do it." I hope that in the future they will be an ever-shrinking minority and that the open-minded or indifferent will be the majority.

Ally: The only reason I became brave enough to clue in my husband that I was into spanking was because I kept seeing it mentioned in my magazines and seeing it joked about in TV shows. That made me realize that spanking was out there and talked about more than I realized. I hope that someday it will gain more mainstream acceptance, but I don't know how soon that will happen. As for me in my personal life, I wouldn't share it with anyone I know. I have a feeling people would be judgmental. I am content at this point to be a part of the blogger community and I am more than happy with the friendship and support here.

Lurvspanking: I wrote another short story called Exchanging Spanking Vows. It's copyright free and you can modify to fit your own situation. These vows demonstrate the vast gulf between the spanko and vanilla world.

I happen to agree with Bonnie. Spanking is viewed as dangerous and deviant [except of school children] and all about whips, chains and black leather. The other viewpoint is ridicule and contempt for the Christian Taken In Hand movement. “Those poor abused women”is the most common refrain when referring to women who submit to a husband's discipline.

I've never had a conversation about spanking with someone not in the scene.

Sara: I am not quite sure why spanking is seen as different, more 'out there'; than other sexual play. I guess it's because it can be mistaken for abuse? Maybe? But I agree with Hermione and a few others that it will be more accepted, and I really do think bloggers help move our society towards an awareness. I have had comments here and there from people who said they found my blog by mistake and were intrigued although perhaps not personally interested in spanking or DD. I do believe I might never have had the courage to explore had it not been for the blogs I read!

Spank-A-Lot: What does the future hold for spanking and spanking enthusiasts?

I may be wrong here, but I think spanking is fast gaining new popularity. In the bedroom, more and more couples are taking to spanking as a form of foreplay. Lifestyle-wise, I guess many many people are incorporating corporal punishment or domestic discipline into their relationships. Interestingly enough, its not just the "old folks" who are moving back "to the times long ago," but young couples are accepting and experimenting with spankings as their own form of "carrot and stick" motivation.

Can we gain anything approaching mainstream acceptance?

If it did, spanking probably wouldn't be the alternative lifestyle anymore. I feel there is nothing much to gain or lose, for me at least. Spanking relationships are largely personal and intimate. Sex is pretty mainstream, but friends don't discuss over dinner subjects like, "Oh, she sucked me real good last night" or "Yeah, he really went down on me." Even if spanking does go mainstream, it may not change things much.

Can vanilla society or at least a majority of people in it, come to understand that we are sensible, caring, productive citizens?

This may be tied into the discussion above. Despite what I said, one of the obvious benefits of spanking becoming mainstream would be fewer shifty or nasty looks when one realises that we are into spanking. However, to a certain extent, spankings in the media have also played a certain part in giving spankings a bad reputation. So proper publicity may help to change the popular perception towards spankos though sadly, none of us (I think) have enough influence to shape the media.

Do you think the media might play a role in delivering this message? Can bloggers help?

I think these two questions are linked. The right media coverage would indeed help shape the perception of all spankos and all things spanking for the better. Bloggers can also be of help, though it may depend upon the content of the blog.

Or will our community be better served by looking inward and supporting our own?

There has to be a good balance. On one hand, we must support those who have been ostracised or bullied just for being a spanko. At the same time, we should seek to educate vanillas that, apart from the fact that we enjoy either dishing out or receiving spankings, we are as human as anyone else.

Anon: It doesn't matter what society thinks. Intimacy in any form is a private concern. There is no oppression like self-imposed oppression. Never let other people define who you are, or how to live your life. Safe, sane, and consensual adult play isn't the business of anyone but the consenting adults.

R Humphries: Back in Edwardian London, ‘Houses of Flagellation’ were all the rage. In fact, the obituary of the most famous dominatrix, Theresa ‘Six of the Best’ Berkeley, was published in the London Times! Even when I was coming of age in London in the 1970’s ,I think people were much more open about sex in general. We even flirted in the work-place. It was all lighthearted titillation and we were far more likely to confess to our ‘kinks.’

Somewhere in the 80’s, political correctness became the vogue and society in general became more tight-lipped. I don’t think spankos are any more repressed than any other group considered to be outside the mainstream. Fortunately, we do have outlets to meet and communicate (this being a perfect example). As long as the lunatic fringes on the political extremes don’t feel the need to interfere, I think that we get along quite nicely.

Graham: While spanking is one of the more "mainstream" kinks out there, most people aren't interested in outing themselves or marching in spanko pride parades, For many of us, there could be potentially serious consequences if we were outed.

Obviously, we'd all be better off in a sex-positive culture, and no one should be afraid of losing their job or family because of their spanking fetish (and it shouldn't be classified as a psychological disease).

But with that said, part of what makes our fetish sexy is the fact that it's not mainstream. It's not vanilla. It's a little dangerous, taboo, and dare I say, naughty?! Maybe in a world of complete and total spanko acceptance, the fetish would lose some of its charge?

Handsdown: I had to snicker at the mention of moral righteousness considering the fact that most DD couples I know are very conservative Christians. I think the whole trouble for the spanking community lies in the fact that the use of corporal punishment in children is a hotly debated issue. Most vanilla’s don’t separate what the consenting adult community does from the corporal punishment of children – as homosexuality was once associated (incorrectly) with pedophilia.

Regardless of what the vanilla world says or does, I’ll still enjoy my spankings and I thank my maker that I have someone I love who will spank me with pleasure. I don’t have to go around with “I like to be spanked” or “Spankophile” embroidered on the backside of my jeans. I don‘t think many people are denied jobs or refused access because they are spankophiles. The association with BDSM doesn’t help us, of course, again because that type of thing is often associated with serial killers and rapists. As with spanking, BDSM practice has problems when some use it outside the realm of consenting adults.

And that, I think, is the bottom line.

Dave The Rave: I got spanked playfully many years ago and have since been spanked quite often.

Ironically, it seems to be acceptable for a mother or father to say they spanked their children or for people to remember having had that done to them. However, if I were to say, "I got spanked last night at a friends' house," they would give me a 'WTF!' look.

Someone didn't like a comment I made and then said to me, "I should SPANK you!" I calmly said, 'Whenever you think you are big enough, go ahead.' She gave me a shocked look and called me a freak. My reply was "Well, you said it first!"

If enough people explain that consensual spankings are a part of a loving relationship, whether as foreplay or a form of control, all should be fine. There are sites that sell chastity devices, but you never see them mentioned on the news. It's all about, "Perception is reality."

My advice is to spread the word and hope society accepts everyone as they are.

Bonnie: I don't know what the future holds. That's one reason I asked (it's also an interesting topic). Working against us are two seemingly opposite forces. Some very traditionally-minded people seem to frown on any sex that isn't missionary-style intercourse for the purpose of procreation. The idea of spanking as sexy foreplay is, in their view, a blatant and purposeful violation of divine law. They think we're dangerous, or maybe they just feel the need to condemn anyone who is different.

At the other end of the spectrum are people who are unable or unwilling to differentiate between consensual play and domestic violence. They are convinced that any woman who asks to be spanked or allows this to be done to her body must have been brainwashed by her abusive attacker. The violence against women groups have a legitimate cause and they do some great work in protecting women who are genuinely in peril. But I don't need or want any protection from Randy, no matter what he does to my bottom. This frame of mind is pervasive among police officers and social workers, and within the criminal justice system in the US. If cops are called by a third party to address a domestic disturbance, even if the cause was a completely consensual spanking, there's a decent change that someone is going to jail.

I have heard from numerous readers who worry about even posting a comment because they are afraid they could lose jobs, friends, or family members were their proclivities revealed. For anyone working in child care, education, counseling, patient care, or similar fields, this is a legitimate concern. How horrible would it be to have kids harassed in school because of their parents' sexual preferences?

I can't just say, “So what.” The status quo is not good enough.

I think the Gay/Lesbian experience is instructive. They too still have a ways to go, but they are much further down this road. The GLBT community gained respect in the media only after they started to shape the message. High profile people like Elton John, Ellen DeGeneres, and Barney Frank were courageous enough to come out and accept whatever consequences followed (they fared a lot better than Oscar Wilde or Alan Turing before them). Soon after, television and films began to present more objective and sympathetic portrayals of Gay and Lesbian characters. What eventually happened was that many fair-minded people said, “These people seem OK and maybe the Gay and Lesbian people I know aren't scary either.”

We could conceivably follow a similar path to acceptance. But there might be another alternative. The internet is a huge part of our lives in ways that would have been inconceivable twenty years ago. This medium isn't finished growing up. The democratization of media we've seen is likely to continue and expand. Perhaps small people can deliver a big message. If so, we bloggers have an important role to play both inside and outside our community. Our message is that spanking enthusiasts are sensible, caring, and productive citizens. We are no threat to anyone. All we seek is tolerance and the freedom to live our lives in peace.

If we believe in and share our vision, it could become reality.

Thanks to everyone who added their thoughts this week!