Janet Reid, Literary Agent

You're abrogating the social contract we have. Knock it off.

2009-11-18T12:24:00.003-05:00

I have publicly ranted about the rudeness of "no reply means no."
I have stated publicly that I answer all my email queries (the real ones.)

I intend to keep my part of that social contract with you the query letter writer.

Your part of the deal is you do NOT send me other stuff.
No pictures of cute animals.
No pleas about missing children.

No newsletters.
No fundraisers.

It doesn't take too many people to create a problem. It's time for writers to add this to the list of things they make sure their friends, critique groups and writers' message boards know.

Feeling stuck? Live in the Bay area? Here's help

2009-11-17T13:18:00.003-05:00

Two years ago at GrubStreet in Boston a very smart editor thrust a rather startled author at me and said "here, read her stuff. She's amazing."

No fool I, I did. And the author was amazing. Unfocused, without a plot anywhere near ready, but with an amazing voice.

The author reworked the opening scenes, sent it back to me. When we next met at 2008 CrimeBake I gently urged her to put this one away and start on something new. I still couldn't see a plot, and couldn't see what the hell she'd do with the situation she'd put her characters in, but oh man, her voice was AMAZING.

I also encouraged her to talk to other agents, and she did.

This year at CrimeBake as we were lying around yapping, Slithery Barbara Poelle mentioned a book she was excited about. She described it and about six of us came up off the bar.

"Wait! I read that!"
"Hey, I read that!"
"What do you mean, you fixed that!!"

What Barbara had done as pretty much only Barbara can do, is see past what's wrong, and make pretty good suggestions for how to FIX things.

Frankly, I'm in awe of SBP and her ability to do this. It's one of the many things that make her a very smart, very formidable talent spotter.

Now, what does that mean for you?

Well, if you've gotten a lot of "nice rejections" or lots of comments like "I like this but it's just not quite right" you'd benefit from some time with Barbara.

And you're in luck. This coming weekend, she'll be the agent in residence at the Berkley Crime Conference. And further luck: this is a small conference, not one with hundreds of writers. You'd get some serious time for Barbara to hear about your book, and work her magic.

Frankly, you'd be a fool to miss this chance.

Register here.

The more you know, the funnier this is

2009-11-17T08:39:00.000-05:00

Glossary of Publishing Terms

Tuesday Morning at the Question Emporium

2009-11-17T07:42:00.006-05:00

Q: BEA is coming to New York next May, just three weeks after my debut novel appears. Is it worth my while to attend? I'm being published by a small press; the total expense of attending the expo would exceed my advance. There's no question about wanting to go: I'd love to. But should I? From a practical perspective?

A: No. Dollar for dollar you'll get more out of attending a local book festival that connects you with readers; or a crime novel convention like Malice Domestic, Left Coast Crime, or Bouchercon (and there are several other good ones that escape my coffee-deprived noggin just now) that connects you with readers (unlike a writers conference that is mostly attended by writers and agents).

BEA is not a good place to make connections for an author. Bookstore owners are there to see what publishers are bringing out in the fall; publishers are there to persuade bookstore owners to order big. The rest of us are just blocking the aisles.

I've stopped encouraging my authors to attend BEA. There are lots of better ways to meet people and promote your novel.

Ah yes, the query letters...

2009-11-16T18:19:00.004-05:00

Favorite Subject line of the decade: I Have Chosen You to be my Literary Agent.

...and their replies!

2009-11-16T15:25:00.001-05:00

Favorite reply to form letter "not for me" as of today: Thank you for your 'literary' form letter.

How to get no more rejections, EVER!

2009-11-16T15:24:00.006-05:00

I've just returned from the fabulosity that is CrimeBake. CrimeBake is one of my favorite conferences and this year was the best yet. Every writer I met came prepared to talk about his/her book. Yes, we worked on finetuning pitches, but I didn't have a single person talk to me either in the formal pitch sessions, or informally, who was just clueless. That's pretty amazing, and I think due in large part to the emphasis CrimeBake places on teaching writers how to be prepared.

Sadly, even those who are well-prepared, and with good novels will get rejections. Some of those will be from me. I can't take on every good book I see, any more than you as a reader can read every good book you already own (let alone all the juicy new ones that keep coming out.)

There was a terrific panel called P IS FOR PERSISTENCE (the alphabet motif because Sue Grafton was the Guest of Honor) with, among others, Dana Cameron and Toni L.P. Kelner. On the panel Dana and Toni were eloquent in the extreme about how to deal with waiting, and rejection.

It got me thinking.

I realized there is a very simple solution for all your rejection problems. All of them, forever more. You really don't want any more of them do you? They're totally awful, completely depressing, and we all know Rejection Just Sucks.

Ok, here's the solution:

Stop Writing.

If you never send out another query, you'll never get another rejection.

Easy-peasy.

Wait, that's not a solution you're willing to accept?

Well ok then.
How about we look at rejections like this:

You love to write. You love to write more than you hate rejections. You love being a writer. So, you love rejections the least of all the parts of writing you love, but faced with a choice of no writing/no rejections, you choose to be a writer. You choose ALL the parts of being a writer, because it's all or none, and you are a writer.

Now back to work.

(thanks to Dana Cameron for this idea)

Add this one to your must-read list

2009-11-12T12:49:00.003-05:00

Biblio Buffet has a blog.

It cracks me up and enlightens me.
Can't ask for much more than that now can you?

you know all those "day in the life" uplifting articles

2009-11-11T11:10:00.003-05:00

about literary agents that you read in Writers Digest or perhaps on blogs?

Yea well, THIS is how my day begins:

Email
FR: Poelle, Barbara (slithering)
TO: Reid, Janet

Subj: I just called you at the office and..

Text: Whoever answered said, "she isn't in..."
and I said, "Ahh yes, she'll stumble in sometime later smelling like yesterday's booze and broken men..." and it was dead silent for a second UNTIL I said, "can you tell her Barbara Poelle called?" and there was an AUDIBLE sigh of relief

clearly, my reputation precedes me

with friends like this, I clearly need another drink.
And it's 11:00 am.

I'm not sure if the writers attending CrimeBake are ready for us!

Very Finny

2009-11-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

oh yes!

(thanks Dylan)

talk about going to the dogs!

2009-11-08T18:51:00.003-05:00

Clearly one particular dog was NOT happy with the form rejection letter!

Shamelessly lifted from Julie O'Connell's blog
(one of the many LIRW writers I'm always happy to hang out with)

Speaking crushing dreams-here's the query tally

2009-11-07T22:53:00.003-05:00

I'm getting a little (well, ok, a LOT) impatient with writers who can't seem to tell me what their book is about. I get lists of characters, descriptions of setting and events, but nothing about choices/conflict/decisions.

I'm not sure if this is a trend, or it was just a bad couple of days but there were a LOT of them tonight.

Started at 10 pm with 68 queries:

Query letter missing too much plot: 21
Not enticing: 12
Nothing fresh or original: 8

Not right for me but someone else will snag happily: 6

Writer clearly uninformed about genre or category s/he intends to write in: 3
No platform (non-fiction queries only): 2

Just plain old bad writing: 4
I don't think I can sell books in this category: 4

Overwritten (probably should be included in bad writing): 1
Unable to suspend disbelief (also bad writing): 1

Writer is a crackpot: 2

Topics I really loathe: 2

Queries set aside to read more closely: 2

Let me crush your hopes and dreams. I live for it.

2009-11-07T20:43:00.005-05:00

Sometime back there was a cris de coeur from an author who said agents lived to crush author's hopes and dreams.

Given I make my living from finding good writers and helping them get published, that statement sounded exactly right. So, I adopted it for my catch phrase, and often times now I'll sign off on Twitter with "off to crush authorial hopes and dreams" accompanied by a .wav of an evil laugh.

Thus it was with delight that I read this question over at Editorial Anonymous.

Congratulations! You got my attention...

2009-11-06T14:44:00.004-05:00

If you emailed me today about a missing kid, complete with poster and heartfelt plea, congratulations. You've gotten my attention. My full and complete attention for about two minutes. Here's how that two minutes of attention will play out:

1. I copy your email address.
2. I paste it in my gmail "filter" program.
3. I click "bypass inbox, mark as read, delete"
4. I click "apply to previous email"
5. I close my gmail program.
6. I write a blog post about it.
7. I return to work

Net result: nothing you send me ever again will hit my email box.

If you add every address to your address book, you should NEVER hit "send to all."

If you are clueless enough to do this, you're probably not someone I want to work with anyway.

Email is not some new fangled tool that's hard to figure out.

And, honest to godiva, you shouldn't add agents to your address book until they've done something more than pass or rant about you on their blog.

Update:
Tally of email addresses added to the filter: 1 (I don't give a rat's ass about cute animal pictures either)

Alright you guys, this is WAR!

2009-11-04T23:40:00.006-05:00

As I'm perambulating about the interwebs my eye catches on what looks to be a very spiffy event:

Berkeley Mystery Writing Intensive--
Nov. 21 & Sunday, Nov. 22

For starters, it features the ever-fabulous Cornelia Read, my boon companion in scotch, thigh high boots (hers not mine) and Edgar banquets (I think we'll need a dispensation from the MWA board to ever attend again).

And then I notice another presenter is Peter Riegert! Holy moly! For starters, Peter Riegert was in two of my all time favorite movies, Animal House and Local Hero. He was also in one of my favorite NYC movies- Crossing Delancey. I'm a drooling Peter Riegert fan! (tmi?)

I'm damn near tempted to sign up myself despite not being a mystery writer in the slightest.

Given it's at the Claremont Spa, I figure I can hang out with Cornelia when she's not busy teaching, and ogle Peter Riegert like a besotted fan girl.

Heck it's only $249, and JetBlue will get me there nicely.

I'm practically set to click on Register, when I read further. Dear Reader, I blanched:
Literary agents, published authors, and an Academy Award–nominated actor/writer/director will help aspiring authors complete and sell their work.

Wait a damn minute here. *I* am a literary agent! Why am *I* not on the roster? Who would they invite instead of ME?

And yes, there it is in black and white:

Barbara Poelle, a top-selling New York agent with the Irene Goodman Literary Agency will talk about trends in publishing and instruct authors on how to write project and query letters.

Well the only damn trend in publishing I'm noticing is that slithery Barbara Poelle is kicking ass and taking names. This must stop, and I mean NOW.

So, if you have an ounce of goodwill for me, you will register for this workshop and keep that slithery competitor of mine BUSY BUSY BUSY with seminars, and query letters. Keep her so busy I can manage to sell something while she's not looking.

If you can get in some ogle time for Peter Riegert, so much the better. Send pictures.

Here's how to register: Berkeley Mystery Workshop

And if you ever catch up with that Sophie Littlefield person, just tell it's too late now. It's a BAD DAY FOR SORRY, sister, and this is WAR!

If the novel is dead/dying, you haven't checked my purchases lately

2009-11-02T16:49:00.005-05:00

Sean Ferrell's cogent argument against The Death of the Novel on his blog. was inspired by Jeff Somers' response to Philip Roth's assertion the novel will be dead in 25 years.

nomenclature

2009-11-01T23:27:00.005-05:00

So, what do you call the beautiful blonde who's marrying one of your clients, but is a talented and ably-represented-elsewhere writer herself? Client-in-law? Client-once-removed?

Well, how about we just call her Tasha, and say Andrew Grant is one lucky man.

photo shamelessly lifted from Wilfred Bereswill; don't mention it to him, ok?

Another reason I love GoogleReader

2009-11-01T20:02:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite things to find on my google reader is a new post from Alexander Chee.

Particularly when it comes with this photo

(Gothamist)

You're not following his blog Koreanish? Start.

It's NYC Marathon Sunday!

2009-11-01T14:14:00.018-05:00

The racecourse runs pretty much right past my apartment so for the past three years I've gone down to Bedford and S. 5th to watch.

At first the street looks pretty empty.

You'll see a lot of that "red overpass": it's the Williamsburg Bridge.

The first signs of the oncoming deluge are the wheelchair "runners"

Some of these competitors do things that are simply astonishing

The signal that the gazelles are about to fly by, and I do mean FLY is the arrival of the time truck

and then here they are:

and they're gone faster than you can refocus and snap a picture! The man second from the right in the white jersey with USA emblazoned in red is this year's winner!

It's always a thrill to see these guys whirl by, but the real fun comes later...MUCH later, after the elite runners, after the seriously competitive runners (like our own Stephany Evans!) after all the people who are there for more than just fun, here come the people in the costumes and the messages:

and this was of course my favorite!

Congratulations to Danette Somers, my "person to watch for" this year! She arrived in Williamsburg still vertical and still moving forward! And she's running for TEAM FOX a cause I'm very happy to support along with her. Go Danette!

I didn't get a picture of her, she was moving too fast for the camera to focus but we managed a quick hug, and she was back on track!

Hooked!

2009-10-31T12:13:00.002-04:00

Les Edgerton's book HOOKED is terrific (and not just cause I'm in it.)

Here's an interview that will show you why it was fun to hang out with him at Bouchercon

Yes, I will be glued to a television...somewhere!

2009-10-31T11:48:00.004-04:00

BookTV is showing a panel presentation with several women featured in Adam Eisenberg's A DIFFERENT SHADE OF BLUE this Sunday, 11/1 at 4:30pm Eastern.

Here's the link to the full weekend schedule!

I'm catching up with my blog reading tonight

2009-10-31T00:00:00.001-04:00

This Barbara Poelle person; where have I heard about her before?

Damn good advice

2009-10-30T23:28:00.003-04:00

Susan Adrian is one smart cookie

Ok, it's a commercial, but what the hell, I like it

2009-10-30T22:35:00.003-04:00

and just for fun, another look at the piece of music featured in the commercial

Friday Night at the Question Emporium #9

2009-10-30T18:55:00.002-04:00

My latest manuscript came really close to getting an agent--I had several partial requests and a full manuscript request. Each agent that read my partial gave the same reasons for rejecting it, so I know what the problem is. I was wondering: when is it appropriate to revise and resubmit? (I was planning on taking 4-6 months to revise and make sure it's fixed, polished, and perfect.)

Absent the specific words revise and resend, never.
Sorry.

This is one of the main reasons to not query all agents at the same time. If you do get requests for partials or fulls, and you do get feedback on changes, if you've queried everyone, you've got no place else to go.

There are a gazillion agents out there though. Twelve pretty good ones work at FinePrint. Make a new list and query when ready.