Janet Reid, Literary Agent

Dan Krokos for the discerning ear!

2009-12-04T08:53:00.001-05:00

Dan Krokos' short story The Easy Way Out is up on Lit103-- the radio show hosted by Alan Vogel.

Click the download button to hear it now.

This picture makes me happy

2009-11-29T09:34:00.003-05:00

of course it's from the source of
many things that make me happy:
BiblioBuffet

Gary Corby's evil plan for world domination

2009-11-28T09:42:00.002-05:00

started out with trying to poison the interns.

Now he's moved on to the clients.

Why you include pages with your query letter

2009-11-27T08:40:00.005-05:00

You always include pages with your query letter (when you can) because telling someone about a bunch of college kids lip syncing to the Black Eyed Peas will never be quite as compelling as showing the work

the making of the video is here.

Thanks to

Bill Cameron
who always finds the coolest stuff

I'm thankful for Elaine Viets

2009-11-26T10:29:00.002-05:00

I've been doing a fair bit of travel these past few months and that has meant staying in hotels. Because I read Elaine Viets book MURDER WITH RESERVATIONS I knew hotel guests should tip the housekeeping staff.

One particular morning up in Boston at CrimeBake, I got ready then grabbed a couple small bills from my wallet so I could buy a coffee IV transfusion at Starbucks in the lobby. By the time I'd gotten my venti-mocha-no-whipped-cream- the bills were nowhere to be found. Oh crud. Fortunately the barista let me add the bill to my room charge.

When I returned to my room that afternoon, there were the bills on the bathroom vanity. Untouched. I'd obviously set them down when I was checking my halo in the mirror. They'd were right next to the fiver I'd left for the housekeeper, on a note saying "thank you housekeeping." The fiver was gone, the forgotten bills untouched.

That small act of honesty didn't so much astonish as humble me. Working for hourly wages, in a physically demanding job, the person who cleaned my room didn't make the 'mistake' of thinking all the bills were intended for the tip. I'm profoundly thankful to her for a powerful reminder that character is what you do when no one is looking.

Reject me, please!

2009-11-25T18:16:00.001-05:00

A hilarious but painful howl in the wilderness.

Fang Up for the Holidays!

2009-11-25T17:41:00.004-05:00

(tip of the furred chapeau to Dana Cameron for the photo!)

An early Thanksgiving: Bat Segundo is back!

2009-11-25T17:04:00.002-05:00

After a short hiatus, The Bat Segundo Show, the cultural radio program featuring unusual and insightful interviews with today's authors, filmmakers, and cultural voices, has returned to the airwaves, providing eight new installments for those contending with the exigencies of holiday travel.

And beginning in 2010, the show will adopt a more regular frequency, airing a new weekly installment every Friday.

These new shows (in no particular order) include the prolific Muslim novelist Michael Muhammad Knight (#307) discussing wrestling and religious difference, verbal banter with Laurel Snyder (#313) over the controversial topic of spaghetti eating habits and staying true to one's voice, Star Trek II director Nicholas Meyer (#310) clarifying uncanny similarities between Chekhov and Joe Wilson, Walmart work environments revealed with Marjorie Rosen (#311), a descent into walking with mystery novelist Lawrence Block (#308), and efforts to pinpoint conflicting emotion within fiction with the remarkable writer Brian Evenson (#309) .

We also have cartoonist Laurie Sandell (#306) discussing the fine line between truth and memoir and a charged colloquy with Rebecca Solnit (#312), which revealed that her recent spat with Dan Baum was hardly limited to his inflexibility.

Mr. Segundo, however, is more concerned with the unspecified relationship between humans and walls, and has become quite alarmed by the uncommon behavioral phenomenon of dissociative fugue. We remain confident that tomorrow's gustatory onslaught of turkey and mashed potatoes will quell his nerves.

As always, the main Segundo site can be found here:

http://www.batsegundo.com

To subscribe to the show with a podcatcher program (for later transfer to your iPod), copy and paste the following URL into your program:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/segundo

On the main site, there is also a black box that is rather large but friendly, should you desire to subscribe to the show via iTunes.

Please note: You do not have to have an iPod to listen the show! If you go to the main Segundo site, you can save the MP3 to your lovely machine by clicking on the bat picture or, if you're the kind of person who prefers swinging a bat over clicking on one, we do have a user-friendly interface with many listening and streaming options below the capsules.

Here are links to the new shows:

SHOW #306 -- Laurie Sandell (33:39)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/laurie-sandell-bss-306/

Five Second Excerpt: "I feel pretty comfortable that there’s not going to be any big explosive James Frey situation.."

* * *

SHOW #307 -- Michael Muhammad Knight (38:38)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/michael-muhammad-knight-bss-307/

Five Second Excerpt: "That’s why at the end, I deserved to have my head chopped off."

* * *

SHOW #308 -- Lawrence Block (40:29)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/lawrence-block-bss-308/

Five Second Excerpt: "You're also one of the few people left who remember."

* * *

SHOW #309 -- Brian Evenson (44:55)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/brian-evenson-bss-309/

Five Second Excerpt: "If you can’t move this bar to your body, then what do you do? I took a lot of time thinking very seriously about that and trying to figure out what would I do."

* * *

SHOW #310 -- Nicholas Meyer (47:27)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/nicholas-meyer-bss-310/

Five Second Excerpt: "Well, talking back to prescience is one of the weirder things that you can do. And I think the fact that Chekhov addressed Khan so disrespectfully in the well of the Botany Bay obviously qualifies him for a Federation reprimand."

* * *

SHOW #311 -- Marjorie Rosen (39:11)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/marjorie-rosen-bss-311/

Five Second Excerpt: "Freedom to further integrate with American culture?"

* * *

SHOW #312 -- Rebecca Solnit (1:06:02)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/rebecca-solnit-bss-312/

Five Second Excerpt: "I’m trying to just clarify specifically what the 'evidence' was. "

* * *

SHOW #313 -- Laurel Snyder (48:42)

Direct Link to Show: http://www.edrants.com/segundo/laurel-snyder-bss-313/

Five Second Excerpt: "And you object to this line of reasoning, writing, 'How could you ever eat spaghetti without a fork? And how could you live without spaghetti?' I must object to your objection."

Stop what you're doing and watch this right now

2009-11-23T11:24:00.003-05:00

It runs about two minutes and is safe for work.

Thanks to Emily Mandel for the linkage

You want description? I'll show you description

2009-11-23T10:07:00.004-05:00

In that first class, she wore the pearls and a tab collar peeped over her sweater, but she looked as if she would punch you if you didn’t behave. She walked with a cowgirl’s stride into the classroom, and from her bag withdrew her legal pad covered in notes, a thermos of coffee and a bag of Brach’s singly wrapped caramels, and then sat down. She undid the top of the thermos with a swift twist, poured a cup of coffee into the cup that was also the thermos top, and sipped at it as she gave us a big smile and looked around the room.

Hi, she said, sort of through the smile.

by Alexander Chee
Writing Life and Annie Dillard
Morning News October 16, 2009

Alexander Chee will be at Greenlight Bookstore in Brooklyn tonight; 7:30pm

Query Status update 11/22/09

2009-11-22T09:36:00.004-05:00

I've replied to all the queries I've received by email and by post.

If you queried me you have gotten either:
1. the dreaded form rejection (sorry, I'm clearly out of my mind)
2. the less-dreaded "I need more time" email
3. the even less dreaded but more terrifying request for a full

If you did NOT get any of those, go here to
Query Letter Diagnostics.

Resend if you get all the way to #10 and don't find what went wrong.

Did I just send you a form rejection? Read this

2009-11-21T14:14:00.003-05:00

Don't let the judgment of any editor (or agent) poison the intense, intimate, and necessary relationship that you have with your own work. Keep the two things scrupulously separate. The self that writes may need to be a delicate and protected creature, but the self that submits to magazines (and agents) ought to be as tough as a rhino's butt.

Christian Wiman, editor, Poetry
"Poets & Writers" May/June 2009

C'mon Harlequin, don't try to blow smoke up our asterisk

2009-11-20T07:31:00.009-05:00

Donna Hayes, CEO of Harlequin, sent a press release yesterday that I picked up from Kristin Nelson's blog. It says in part:

It is disappointing that the RWA has not recognized that publishing models have and will continue to change. As a leading publisher of women's fiction in a rapidly changing environment, Harlequin's intention is to provide authors access to all publishing opportunities, traditional or otherwise.

Ms. Hayes, I wonder if you know how AuthorSolutions, your new partner in publishing models, actually works? It's not a publisher, if by publisher you mean a company (like Harlequin) that licenses intellectual property (ie pays for), adds value in terms of editorial expertise, design and production expertise, and then offers the product to their wholesale and retail accounts.

AuthorSolutions prints books. That's pretty much all they do. They don't license intellectual property. They don't add value with editorial input, design and production expertise, and they sure as hell don't make the product available to their wholesale and retail accounts (do they have any?) Their accounts are by and large the authors- the very people who pay to produce the book. A nice tidy circle of pay-to-play.

And to add insult to injury by saying they are the new publishing model, let's just remember they AREN'T. They're employing a new form of PRODUCTION. They don't actually change anything about the publishing model for vanity presses: authors pay to get books printed. The only thing that has changed is how many books get printed at one time, and in what format.

Ms. Hayes, I think I know what happened here. A very smart sales team from AuthorSolutions showed up and said "We can get you money, and a lot of it, with no capital investment, and not much expense to you. We can make your bottom line look a whole lot better."

What puzzles me is you agreed.

I understand budgets are tight. I understand the siren song of "money for nothing" in hard times. But I also know you've run a tight ship over there for a long time, and you're making money. Are you worried that will end, and the spigot of POD can help you alleviate that pressure?

I believe, and I hope you do too, some things are more important than money. Things like being honest with people who do business with you. This new venture is the ultimate in dishonesty. It's exactly the reason I loathe AuthorSolutions and their ilk with a passion: they (and now you) present it as a publishing model, and boost writers hopes and dreams at their expense to enrich yours.

As ~~an agent~~ a human being, that sickens me.

I'm glad you're taking the Harlequin name off this project.

Now, how about you just take it off your corporate website and leave the vultures to prey on other people.

You're better than this Harlequin.

Further on the Harlequin dumpster dive

2009-11-19T11:46:00.004-05:00

Here is a well thought out and cogent explanation of the Harlequin/AuthorSolutions mess.

This is the paragraph that makes me see red:

3. Why is Harlequin launching a self-publishing business?

Many aspiring authors choose self-publishing as a way to see their work in print – to give copies as gifts, to have a bound copy to help in finding an agent, or simply as a keepsake

A bound copy is close to useless for help in finding an agent.

Harlequin KNOWS that. They're not stupid. They're making it up so aspiring authors will pay for their services.

This whole thing just makes me sad.

(thanks to Susan Adrian for the linkage)

Publishers reveal themselves as greedy beasts; chaos ensues

2009-11-18T19:36:00.005-05:00

Harlequin announced it was in league with ~~Satan~~ AuthorSolutions today, and that writers can participate in a program to self-publish their books with "Harlequin Horizon" as the ~~printer~~ publisher.

Needless to say a lot of people went batshit.
Some were calmer.

And just to add fuel to the raging storm, let's all remember that authors are required to sign contracts that include a clause forbidding them from publishing, or arranging to publish, distribute or sell any work which will diminish the value of the work covered in the contract.

Gander, meet sauce.

In one fell swoop Harlequin just diminished the Harlequin brand name.

And worse, what they're telling unagented authors is the only way to get noticed in the slush pile is to pay $600+ to get your book printed first.

Yup, this one's going to be fun to watch.

You're abrogating the social contract we have. Knock it off.

2009-11-18T12:24:00.003-05:00

I have publicly ranted about the rudeness of "no reply means no."
I have stated publicly that I answer all my email queries (the real ones.)

I intend to keep my part of that social contract with you the query letter writer.

Your part of the deal is you do NOT send me other stuff.
No pictures of cute animals.
No pleas about missing children.

No newsletters.
No fundraisers.

It doesn't take too many people to create a problem. It's time for writers to add this to the list of things they make sure their friends, critique groups and writers' message boards know.

Feeling stuck? Live in the Bay area? Here's help

2009-11-17T13:18:00.003-05:00

Two years ago at GrubStreet in Boston a very smart editor thrust a rather startled author at me and said "here, read her stuff. She's amazing."

No fool I, I did. And the author was amazing. Unfocused, without a plot anywhere near ready, but with an amazing voice.

The author reworked the opening scenes, sent it back to me. When we next met at 2008 CrimeBake I gently urged her to put this one away and start on something new. I still couldn't see a plot, and couldn't see what the hell she'd do with the situation she'd put her characters in, but oh man, her voice was AMAZING.

I also encouraged her to talk to other agents, and she did.

This year at CrimeBake as we were lying around yapping, Slithery Barbara Poelle mentioned a book she was excited about. She described it and about six of us came up off the bar.

"Wait! I read that!"
"Hey, I read that!"
"What do you mean, you fixed that!!"

What Barbara had done as pretty much only Barbara can do, is see past what's wrong, and make pretty good suggestions for how to FIX things.

Frankly, I'm in awe of SBP and her ability to do this. It's one of the many things that make her a very smart, very formidable talent spotter.

Now, what does that mean for you?

Well, if you've gotten a lot of "nice rejections" or lots of comments like "I like this but it's just not quite right" you'd benefit from some time with Barbara.

And you're in luck. This coming weekend, she'll be the agent in residence at the Berkley Crime Conference. And further luck: this is a small conference, not one with hundreds of writers. You'd get some serious time for Barbara to hear about your book, and work her magic.

Frankly, you'd be a fool to miss this chance.

Register here.

The more you know, the funnier this is

2009-11-17T08:39:00.000-05:00

Glossary of Publishing Terms

Tuesday Morning at the Question Emporium

2009-11-17T07:42:00.006-05:00

Q: BEA is coming to New York next May, just three weeks after my debut novel appears. Is it worth my while to attend? I'm being published by a small press; the total expense of attending the expo would exceed my advance. There's no question about wanting to go: I'd love to. But should I? From a practical perspective?

A: No. Dollar for dollar you'll get more out of attending a local book festival that connects you with readers; or a crime novel convention like Malice Domestic, Left Coast Crime, or Bouchercon (and there are several other good ones that escape my coffee-deprived noggin just now) that connects you with readers (unlike a writers conference that is mostly attended by writers and agents).

BEA is not a good place to make connections for an author. Bookstore owners are there to see what publishers are bringing out in the fall; publishers are there to persuade bookstore owners to order big. The rest of us are just blocking the aisles.

I've stopped encouraging my authors to attend BEA. There are lots of better ways to meet people and promote your novel.

Ah yes, the query letters...

2009-11-16T18:19:00.004-05:00

Favorite Subject line of the decade: I Have Chosen You to be my Literary Agent.

...and their replies!

2009-11-16T15:25:00.001-05:00

Favorite reply to form letter "not for me" as of today: Thank you for your 'literary' form letter.

How to get no more rejections, EVER!

2009-11-16T15:24:00.006-05:00

I've just returned from the fabulosity that is CrimeBake. CrimeBake is one of my favorite conferences and this year was the best yet. Every writer I met came prepared to talk about his/her book. Yes, we worked on finetuning pitches, but I didn't have a single person talk to me either in the formal pitch sessions, or informally, who was just clueless. That's pretty amazing, and I think due in large part to the emphasis CrimeBake places on teaching writers how to be prepared.

Sadly, even those who are well-prepared, and with good novels will get rejections. Some of those will be from me. I can't take on every good book I see, any more than you as a reader can read every good book you already own (let alone all the juicy new ones that keep coming out.)

There was a terrific panel called P IS FOR PERSISTENCE (the alphabet motif because Sue Grafton was the Guest of Honor) with, among others, Dana Cameron and Toni L.P. Kelner. On the panel Dana and Toni were eloquent in the extreme about how to deal with waiting, and rejection.

It got me thinking.

I realized there is a very simple solution for all your rejection problems. All of them, forever more. You really don't want any more of them do you? They're totally awful, completely depressing, and we all know Rejection Just Sucks.

Ok, here's the solution:

Stop Writing.

If you never send out another query, you'll never get another rejection.

Easy-peasy.

Wait, that's not a solution you're willing to accept?

Well ok then.
How about we look at rejections like this:

You love to write. You love to write more than you hate rejections. You love being a writer. So, you love rejections the least of all the parts of writing you love, but faced with a choice of no writing/no rejections, you choose to be a writer. You choose ALL the parts of being a writer, because it's all or none, and you are a writer.

Now back to work.

(thanks to Dana Cameron for this idea)

Add this one to your must-read list

2009-11-12T12:49:00.003-05:00

Biblio Buffet has a blog.

It cracks me up and enlightens me.
Can't ask for much more than that now can you?

you know all those "day in the life" uplifting articles

2009-11-11T11:10:00.003-05:00

about literary agents that you read in Writers Digest or perhaps on blogs?

Yea well, THIS is how my day begins:

Email
FR: Poelle, Barbara (slithering)
TO: Reid, Janet

Subj: I just called you at the office and..

Text: Whoever answered said, "she isn't in..."
and I said, "Ahh yes, she'll stumble in sometime later smelling like yesterday's booze and broken men..." and it was dead silent for a second UNTIL I said, "can you tell her Barbara Poelle called?" and there was an AUDIBLE sigh of relief

clearly, my reputation precedes me

with friends like this, I clearly need another drink.
And it's 11:00 am.

I'm not sure if the writers attending CrimeBake are ready for us!

Very Finny

2009-11-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

oh yes!

(thanks Dylan)