The Autonymph

Me behind bars

2009-10-18T09:33:00.003-05:00

Not much going on around here - have become most dull person in the world. Actually, maybe not THE dullest, but you know what I mean.

Mental health is getting better, but my sedentary lifestyle has become ridiculous, so I am joining the gym on Monday to get myself out of the house and exercising. I'm only out to get into better shape, fit into my clothes and gain back some muscle mass. If I lose weight, great, if not, that's okay too.

We have a tradition, the boyfriend and I, of going to the laundromat as early as possible on Sundays. We went this morning, and as usual, I feel a sense of contentment for that job done. Unfortunately *putting away* clothing is not my strong suit, so I have this and last week's clothes to hang and put in drawers.

I made and Ethiopian dish called Doro Wat last night, which we ate with injera bread brought back from Chicago by the bf. It was delicious! So happy to have the right spices to make it.

After dinner we went out to meet a couple of his friends for drinks at a "New Orleans Style" bar/restaurant. Had a drink called a NOLA Cola and it was delish. Sort of a long island iced tea flavour. Will be returning for one of those some days.

That's it for me - I'm all out of stuff to say. Breakfast is in the making, and then, maybe, putting away the clean clothes.

Truly, I do

2009-09-17T07:34:00.002-05:00

I think about posting a lot, but can never seem to get there. Right now I'm on the tail end of a Joan Crawford jag on Netflix, and thinking about starting up with Bette Davis.

I'm reading a book called Sofie's World, which bills itself as a history of philosophy, and so far I quite like it. I haven't much patience for reading, but I'm making my way through it.

Mostly though, at least this week, I feel quiet - not much to say.

So while I truly do want to post more, the spirit isn't willing.

I lied to you

2009-09-04T16:00:00.002-05:00

I was gonna blog about each book I read this year, but my sudden aversion to blogging (and truth be told most other things which involved getting out of bed), made that a lie.

I'm alive, experimented with letting my hair go grey (which ended today when I dyed it black cherry), re-reading a fair number of books, suddenly finding myself totally addicted to cigarettes, and feeling as though I don't have much to say...

That's about it. Hopefully I'll be back soon.

There will be a post

2009-07-01T07:13:00.002-05:00

I didn't write a single entry in June!

Nor did I post any pictures of my vacation.

Oh well.

Right now I'm in the midst of watching "There Will Be Blood", which is different from what I was expecting. Different in a good way.

I can't believe June is over already. Here's to hoping that July will be a slower month to move through, and that there will be more posts.

I'm in New York!

2009-05-31T09:20:00.004-05:00

Haven't had much to talk about this past couple of months, but I'll have a little bit more to say when I get back from New York City. Brooklyn, more specifically, Bed-Stuy to be precise.

Things have been going well, with the exception of some unexpected thigh chaffing, which renders me unable to wear my beautiful sundresses, as thigh chaffing is nothing to sneeze at. At least, in this particular case.

Enough of that. Here's an incomplete list of what we've gone to see: The MoMA, Times Square, the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens... My memory is awful, because we've seen more than that - oh, we also hung around at the Brooklyn Flea and had a tasty wood fired pizza.

I finally bought (way overpriced) batteries and I took pictures of stuff. I'll show them to you when I get home.

Today it's Coney Island, which I'm excited about. I have to make sure to AVOID a sunburn, in part because my face burned a bit yesterday. I really don't need a redder nose.

That's it, a dispatch from a destination.

This is a blog, after all...

2009-05-03T14:48:00.003-05:00

Okay, where on earth have I been?

Gone, daddy, gone.

Just getting the day to day taken care of.

Trying to figure out my financial future.

Doing some volunteering to combat my hermitism.

Working on getting the mouse out of my house.

Being especially moody.

Trying and failing to re read a book I loved the first time out.

Really trying and failing to get out into the beautiful weather.

Currently watching Vincent Price as Richard III, which is just bizarre.

Yes, I am still "blogging"

2009-03-28T06:53:00.002-05:00

I just don't have much to say lately. I'm focusing on my recovery. I'm getting better as the days go by, but I'm realizing that the idea that I'll feel *good* all the time just isn't true. I've had a spate of bad days, of sleeping too much, etc.

I've also been watching tons of TV and movies via Netflix streaming.

Hope all is well.

Books read in 2009: #7 Following Foo (the electronic adventures of the Chestnut Man)

2009-03-06T13:43:00.002-06:00

I have to say that I found this book challenging to read, for a few reasons.
There were parts I had to skim, sections of the book I really didn't read, but I did hang on until the end, so I consider it "read".

Better known for his acting (on Law and order as resident Psych guy, as well as numerous theatrical and film rolls), B.D. Wong's account of the birth of his children (and the loss of one soon after birth) is at times mesmerizing and at others repetitive.

One of the reasons that I found this book difficult to read is that he includes well wishing email from so many people, it reminded me how small my circle of love and support is, and that just made me feel very sad (I don't get sad much these days, but I cried over this particular feeling).

Shoot, it's 1:30 in the morning!

2009-03-06T13:36:00.002-06:00

Comedian Wanda Sykes on sex and women faking orgasm.

Jokes.com

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For the record, I've NEVER faked it.

Life and other events

2009-03-02T08:52:00.002-06:00

My life is fairly boring these days. All of my "real" friends live far away, and I have a hell of a time making new friends now. Sigh.

So everyone and their mother has told me I ought to volunteer for something. Yesterday I looked up our local United Way volunteer line and sent out an email to the one thing I thought would provide me with human contact while not actually being scary or difficult. We will see how that pans out.

On February 28 I made a pact (with myself) to try something new for March. I'm not going to say what it is until I either:

abandon it
finish it

I don't want to jinx it. That's all I'm saying.

Another thing I'm looking at this month is my physical health. In many ways I am healthy. But I think I have lost some lung capacity and definitely lost muscle tone from my sedentary lifestyle.

Ugh. Oh well. I'm working on it.

Instant Happiness

2009-03-01T15:27:00.001-06:00

These adorable kids are my second cousins. Watched this video twice today and both times felt so happy afterwards.

Books read in 2009: #6 "How to be Good"

2009-02-22T20:09:00.003-06:00

I picked up "How to be Good" from the used bookstore as a lark. I'd never ready a Nick Hornby book, although I have seen at least one film based on his writing.

I enjoyed it.

Wonderland

2009-02-19T14:24:00.000-06:00

This movie made me cry. In a good way. Now I just have to *stop* crying.

The Placebo Effect?

2009-02-16T07:31:00.003-06:00

I'm starting to suspect that my new medicine, which made me feel SO fabulous when I first began taking it nearly five weeks ago, is not actually making me feel so great.

The consequences of being a shut in.

2009-02-08T08:57:00.002-06:00

Finally the error of my ways has been made clear. Visiting New York means walking, and plenty of it. I woke up this morning with tight, aching muscles. But it's far better to have sore glutes than missing the sights and sounds of the city.

I'm definitely going walking once I get back home.

Books read in 2009: #5 Coraline

2009-02-07T18:47:00.003-06:00

I had the opportunity to read Neil Gaiman's book Coraline, which is also a movie which came out this weekend.

It's nice to know the story before seeing the movie.

Coffee and nerves

2009-02-06T06:58:00.002-06:00

I'm drinking coffee because I love it, but I'm a bit anxious about my trip today. Haven't been on a plane in a while, and now they are showing what was happening behind the scenes at the Hudson River landing of a disabled plane. Hopefully the birds will be gone for my flight.

I'm super excited about seeing my friend again. I hope think we'll have fun catching up and doing some fun stuff.

I might now blog for a while when I'm gone. I'm gonna miss my fellas at home and my laptop.
And in a funny way, I'm gonna miss being able to sit around in my pjs drinking coffee. However, I think my friend B will be accommodating if I request that as an activity.

I'm gonna bring my camera, but I need to buy batteries for it. Okay, bye!

Getting out of the house

2009-02-03T11:07:00.001-06:00

Is much harder than it looks.

Who do you love?

2009-02-02T09:07:00.004-06:00

Sometimes, when I'm really down I forget who I love, and forget that they love me.
Sometimes I'm amazed that anyone feels love for me. Isn't that sad?

But I'm feeling better and my health is generally good (with the exception of the side effects I've been having), but I am having a difficult time keeping myself motivated/busy to get anything done.

And for the most part, I remember those I love who love me too.

Right now I'm going to drink more coffee.

gratitude

2009-01-30T07:01:00.002-06:00

One of the Mhs's (mental health specialist) in the hospital mall talked to me about doing a daily thing where you name 5 things you are grateful for.

I forgot to do it last night, so I'm gonna put myself back into yesterday and write those first.

I'm grateful to have had dinner with bf's friends.
I'm grateful that my son was happy when he got home from school.
I'm grateful for the set of Futurama discs I got "from Santa" (and I'm Santa).
I'm grateful for 80s music because it brings up so many memories.
I'm grateful for feeling free and dancing in my living room.

home again, home again, jiggety jig

2009-01-29T12:03:00.004-06:00

So I've been home from the hospital for nearly a week.

Some of it (being back home) is nice, some of it stresses me out.
The new meds I'm taking are great for my mood, but they really stink when it comes to the side effects I'm having. I am even taking a med that counteracts one of my other meds. And I always swore I wouldn't do that. Sigh.

The only huge problem with right now is disorientation and a stumbling/shuffling gate. I can't seem to walk properly. I'm visiting a friend in NYC next week, which is a feat in and of itself. I had wanted to go for months but didn't have the guts to fly/be in a strange place. She said something about doing a lot of walking, and I think I should tell her about this particular side effect.

Lastly, of my side effects: the dryest mouth I've ever had. It makes eating difficult. I've got a phone call out to my nurse to see what she says about that/if there is anything I can do for it. Besides drinking a boatload of water every day.

Twenty-Five things about me

2009-01-29T11:00:00.004-06:00

I was tagged a while ago by Marianne @ Kanalaon and finally I've gotten around to it, as I was tagged for a similar meme.
This list has 25 things on it.

1. I've been to Russia and Armenia.
2. Once I slapped someone in a melodramatic way, just like on TV.
3. I can pick up cigarettes, smoke, and then not smoke for months.
4. Currently don't have a favourite colour.
5. When writing words like favorite and color, I use the British U.
6. My laptop and I have an unnaturally close relationship.
7. My 13-year old is going through puberty. It's not a pretty thing.
8. I'd like to write my memoirs some day.
9. I don't have 25 internet friends to tag.
10. I fall asleep at night listening to my iPod.
11. Yesterday in the car, while listening to the radio, someone used the phrase Living My LIfe Like it's Golden, and I turned the radio off and started singing the song "Golden" by Jill Scott. That is one upbeat tune.
12. I take so many meds I had to get a pillbox to organize them all. That scares the dickens out of me.
13. Thirteen is my favourite number. At the time of writing up this list, I look forward to Friday the 13th in a couple of weeks.
14. Apparently, I am the only person in the world that gets the cheaper phone that doesn't take pictures.
15. I'd be thrilled to have a phone with a bell in it at home instead of the fake ring I've got now.
16. After my boyfriend, Netflix may be the best friend I have in town.
17. I love coffee, especially coffee from Nicaragua.
18. Still missing my old favourite coffee shop, Toad Hill.
19. Lately when I dream, I talk out loud, responding to people in the dreams. It's kind of freaky.
20. I'm clinically obese. It's not as bad as it sounds.
21. After a recent hospital stay, I'm trying to eat my meals at the same times as the hospital served them. Obviously I'm in dire need of structure in my day.
22. Because of the meds I referred to in #12, I'm not suppose to drink alcohol.
23. I miss hanging out at Mickey's Tavern. I miss it a lot.
24. Sometimes I laugh when I watch Two and a half Men. It is my secret shame.
25. I'd like to take up photography again.

HMO hell

2009-01-27T14:43:00.003-06:00

My health benefits have changed, and I've got to pick one, and when I talked to someone at the Medicaid office and she said it looked as though I was already enrolled in some weird plan which didn't even cover the county I'm in. I've called 2x and got the voice mail box and no real people. I'm terrified about being locked into something which would not work for me...

Books read in 2009: #4 "Blood Hunt"

2009-01-25T08:39:00.003-06:00

WOW, I love this book. A thriller of sorts, and a mystery on top of that, this would make a really great film. I hope it gets made. That would be awesome.

It is written by Ian Rankin, known for his books about Inspector Rebus (which have been made into a collection of films broadcast on television). It's different to the Rebus stories, and I liked that.

Highly recommended.

Books read in 2009: #3 "Bandits"

2009-01-25T08:36:00.006-06:00

This was a good story. It involved Nicaraguan politics, a former nun, and lepers on the side. Solid, fun, a good read (If you like Elmore Leonard).