Vindy's Picks

Vindy's 2008-09 Bowl Recap

2009-01-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

BCS TITLE, TROPHY TO DIFFERENT TEAMS

CHAMPAIGN, Illinois (AP)....Florida and Oklahoma slugged it out on the field Thursday night to win the Bowl Championship Series Sears Trophy. The highly-coveted crystal hardware was presented in Miami to the Gators, but the actual title of BCS National Champion, vacated by the 2007 Bengals of Weeziana State, now belongs to the Fightin’ Illini, who bought the title from embattled Illinois governor Rod Blagovedich by outbidding other teams. UI alumni rallied to the cause under the battle-cry, “Buy One for the Zooker!”, referring to Illini head coach Ron Zook. Reporters pulled records from the governor’s office, suggesting teams in the monetary running for the pinnacle of Division I-A football included Idaho, Wazzou, and Syracuse. The politician, already in hot water for trying to sell President-Elect Obama’s former Senate chair, continues to proclaim his innocence in the matter, but examination of the expletive-laden FBI wiretaps being used as evidence also links him to the 1980 Olympics “Miracle on Ice”, the 1919 Black Sox scandal, the Pilgrims purchase of Manhattan (who outbid the Japanese by a couple of trinkets!) and the Academy Award for 1994 Best Picture to Forrest Gump (Editorial note: Oh sure....Tom Hanks’ brief role as a touchdown-scoring member of the Alabama Crimson Tide, on its own artistic merit, wins out over Sean Astin’s movie-long sacrifices to go down in history as a player for the Notre Dame Frightenin’ Irish in Rudy???!!!)

Your Hooville Holiday Cheer-Meister went 1-9 to open the 2007 season’s bowl fare, but his opening 2-1 tally through the first trio of the 2008 post-season was just a tease as NORAD (which passed on Santa’s flight this year due to budget concerns) had Vindy at a mere 2-5 by the time he finished unwrapping his highly-coveted Bakugan Battle Brawlers on Christmas morning. In fact, the prognosticator’s progress was handed off to the NYC Subway authorities with his record headed toward an early 3-8-1 slide. But the On-Star system installed in his forecast was notified immediately when the driver’s-side air-bag deployed...automatically-sending emergency crews to the crash site at the Independence Bowl on December 28 when Vin’s usually-dependable “lock” pick Northern Illinois went south (courtesy of three turnovers vs. Weeziana Tech [though the Weber Kid acknowledges some nifty defensive plays by the Bulldogs]). A push by Cal and back-to-back-to-back dog covers by NC State, Northwestern and Maryland (and a best bet win and cover by Rice) were followed by an 0-fer New Year’s Eve (0-4) hit to the codpiece (no, that ain’t a fish dish!). Needing to hit 9 of the final 12 to finish at .500, the Weber Kid girded his loins (All hail the Kevlar athletic supporter!) and got 2009 off to a blazing 7-1, losing the Orange Bowl (In retrospect, Vin forgot to take into account the Hokies 15-4 straight-up Thursday night run). Consecutive losses for the International and Fiesta Bowls left our haggard hero needing both the GMAC and the BCS Title game to break even. Tulsa trampled Ball State to give Vindy hope and the fab forecaster finally reached a very coin-toss-worthy 16-16-2 after Florida clamped down on the Sooners, following a shaky first-half.

Fine...a topless president-elect strutting his ripped torso on the island of Oahu gets global media coverage. Your prestigious prognosticator recently doffed his pre-printed silk-screened muscle tee, flaunting his six-keg abs in Sin City.... and got nothin’ more than a sign reading, “No shirt, no shoes, no service!”. But wait until the wire services get a load of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008-09 BOWL RECAP
(It’s how wise guys do fancy!)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
TripAdvisor.com notes several...uh...unusual (or at least little-known)...New Year’s Eve droppings, including a 25-pound faux Peep (constructed from fiberglass) in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and a cheese-wedge in Plymouth, Wisconsin. Not to be outdone, Vegas rang-in 2009 by dropping a 195-lb., former sportsbook employee who was caught skimming profits....did we mention he was lowered from the top of the Stratosphere into a bucket of cement, which was then transported to Boulder City and unceremoniously pushed off the Hoover Dam into Lake Mead??? Casino officials simply told the cheat he was helping test-out a new thrill-ride! Also just minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve, 1000 balloons bearing the words “Joy” and “Hope” were released from rooftops near Times Square. Meanwhile, farther north, Orange fans at the Carrier Dome launched hundreds of balloons inscribed with “Syracuse 24, Notre Dame 23"!!!

After Vindicator told a department-store Santa he wanted a Red Ryder BB-Gun for Christmas, the faux Claus responded, “You’ll shoot your I-formation out, Kid.”

If you’re scoring at home, the Big Tent-Peg Conference went 1-6 SU/3-4 ATS this bowl season, losing by better than two touchdowns per tilt. That post-season pointlessness was second only behind the Mid-American Conference, which went 0-5 SU, 0-5 ATS and lost by an average margin of nearly 17 points per game!

We’d just like to share a Frank Zappa quote we found in an article listing the top 99brewskis on the planet in the January 2009 ish of MAXIM magazine...”You can’t be a country unless you have a beer and an airline-it helps if you have some kind of football team....”. BTW, for our readers living in or with ties to the Keystone State...Juengling Traditional Lager made that distinguished list and Vindicator is no stranger to said beverage!

Congrats to the Penn State Lady Lions, who recently reeled in the 2008 women’s volleyball national championship over 14-time contender Stanford in December. And a very late round of applause to the Lions’ men’s squad for toppling Pepperdine to take the V-ball title last February! Vindy tips his helmet to his grad school alma mater, Richmond, for taking this season’s Football Championship Subdivision national title!

Recently rebuking Joe Biden’s criticism about President Bush’s alleged requirement to get permission to initiate nuclear strikes, Dick Cheney noted the president is never without a military aide who carries the nuclear gadget, known as the “football”, that permits those attacks. Nice...not only does the Commander-in-Chief get a personal protector, said individual also totes the rock! In fact, the outgoing leader of the free world was seated so close to the field during the recent Colts game, the voice-activated device picked up signals from the Colts huddle and half-a-dozen long-range nukes went into ready-to-launch status. Fortunately, the QB on the field was Peyton Manning, who after stepping to the line of scrimmage and quickly surveying the defense, rattled off a long series of audibles, leading silo crews targeting Vancouver, Puerto Rico and BCS Headquarters in Indianapolis to then stand-down, averting a couple of international incidents.

David Hasselhoff sang national anthem at Las Vegas Bowl. After being panned by his fellow “America’s Got Talent” judges, the Hoff will be replaced next year by KITT. The Village People played at halftime of the Sun Bowl leading fans to croon “Y-M-I-Here?” during the Oregon State-Pitt 3-0 snoozer. In related news, Dirk Nowitzki of the NBA’s Dallas Stars admitted he hummed Hasselhoff’s “Looking For Freedom” while de-stressing himself at the foul line. Vindy’s been known to reduce those pressure-packed moments in the sportsbook by humming “19th Nervous Breakdown” by the Rolling Stones, “Thriller” by Michael Jackson , “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer, “Like A Surgeon” by Weird Al Yankovic, or the Spongebob Squarepants theme song!

Shaquille O’Neal is closing in on 5,000 bricks from the charity stripe. Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z! When Shaq gets within grenade-range of 5K worth of forecast losses, let us know!

Speaking of bricks...a New Year’s Day college hoops game saw Texas Tech head coach Pat Knight pull a 12-year-old from the stands into his team’s huddle during a time-out vs. Stephen F. Austin. Seems coach wasn’t happy with his squad’s inability to hit lay-ups and used the youngster to make a point. Funny, that same day, Red Raiders coach Mike Leach snagged a 10-year-old from the arcade of a Vegas casino to show Vindy how easy it was to pick games against the spread after the fumbling forecaster went winless the night before. It worked, but the precocious little !@^%#$!! also hit all 12 of the 2009 bowls!

A few thoughts on some of the 2008 bowl swag given to participating players... the Meineke Car Care folks offered a “racing-themed” baseball hat. Why not a CD featuring soundtracks from Days of Thunder, Chariots of Fire or the Wacky Races??!! While a replica or life-size Bell Helicopter, Bradley Fighting Vehicle or M1-A1 Main Battle Tank might be a tad extreme for Armed Forces Bowl teams, a ride on one of those babies and the chance to test out the weaponry aboard said vehicles on a target-range (utilizing sub-caliber training rounds, of course!) would provide players with a story they could tell the grandkids! And finally, BCS title game contestants got a Tourneau watch. Not sure who or what Tourneau is, but Vindy would rather have a a Tourette’s watch, which instead of beeping, chiming or chirping, actually breaks into a profanity-laced tirade every hour on the hour!

The economy is so bad, even game shows are making it harder for contestants to win the big bucks. Thus we have 2009's “Are You Smarter Than a 5th-Grade Academic All-American?!” And BTW, “Milk and Cookies with the Mustangs”, SMU’s childhood literacy program, will now be known as “Powdered Milk and Temporary Internet Cookies with the Mustangs!” In fact, next season’s Rose Bowl will be preceded by the “Tournament of Dandelions” parade.

Speaking of which, Vindy has it on good authority that NBC’s “live” broadcast of the Rose Bowl Parade on New Year’s Day was actually produced and pre-recorded three days earlier by the Chinese and that the “floats” were simply digital enhancements inserted into the broadcast footage. In fact, the grand marshal was only a 12-year-old Chinese girl (she “misspoke” to bowl committee officials, telling them she was really 16), who through the magic of television and special effects, was altered to look like Cloris Leachman! Gotta’ hand it to those Chinese “volunteers” who pulled off that whole “high school and college marching band” thing!

The island of Oahu suffered a major electrical blackout just two days after the Frightenin’ Irish beat the Rainbow Warriors to pocket their first bowl win in ten tries. Coincidence? You decide!

Vindicator’s bowl predictions have now gone 149-157-5 (.486) since the start of the ‘97-‘98 post-season extravaganza. This season’s Weber-Friendlies....Joja’ (10-1-1), Florida (11-2) and USC (10-3)...all posted forecast wins, while the Injuns of FSU fell to 6-2. Way back in Week One, Vindy noted at least two teams unranked in the AP preseason poll, in all but one season from 1993 to present, ended up among the Top Ten in that season’s final AP Poll. We predicted two of three from Utah, Michigan State and Nebraska would get there this time. The Utes came in at #2, while the Spartans finished at #24 and the Huskers were outside the rankings when it was all said and done. The Mountain Best did, however, also place TCU in the seven-hole to keep the trend going!

In a follow-up to an earlier reference to the DUI arrest and subsequent Rose Bowl suspension of the Penn State mascot, the police blotter indicated, ” ...the suspect was administered a field sobriety test...and couldn’t walk a straight lion.” (OK, feel free to boo that one!).

Missing out on his 11th straight Pro Bowl opportunity, Redskins LB London Fletcher referred to himself as the “Susan Lucci of the NFL”. Feeling his pain, the Vegas Vindicator considers himself the Jar-Jar Binks of the football forecasting world...written-off as irrelevant and known only for being relegated to comic relief or simply-annoying against the backdrop of the bigger picture!

Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol recently gave birth to a son, whom she named Tripp. Given the family trend of applying monikers starting with the letters “TR”, might a subsequent newborn be called “Tressel” after the Buckeyes head coach?! (BTW, that might also be the Wasilla High School preferred-spelling of the bridge-like structure, over which trains traverse!). Were the parents trippin’ when they named the latest addition to the family?! What about the complex this kid’s gonna’ get when, exposed to hockey in Alaska, some player gets two minutes in ‘da penalty box for... tripping ??!! Is there a Trophy in the family planning?! Maybe a daughter named...Trebuchet...a medieval war siege machine used by Sarah Palin to launch giant snowballs (or moose carcasses) over her home-fence into the yard of her Russian neighbors???!!!

On New Year’s Day, the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings played an outdoor hockey game at Wrigley Field. Play was stopped briefly when the puck became lost in the ivy, and after several minutes of conferring between officials, the Blackhawks were awarded a ground-rule double! Did players drawing penalties spend two minutes in the bullpen? Was the opening puck dropped at the pitcher’s mound???!!!

Reason #47 in favor of a Division I-A college football playoff: NFL?...”Win or go home”. NCAA Bowl Games? Win and go home...then wait for the voters!!!!

After much deliberation, the Arena Football League decided not to suspend its 2009 season. It will however suspend all former Florida State players among its ranks for the first three games just on general principle!

Earlier this month, Terrell Owens attended the sleep-over party at the Palms here in Las Vegas. The whiny receiver was later overheard complaining about his lack of involvement in his team’s pillow-fight!

LEFTOVER HASH (Stuff that was available but didn’t find its way into the forecast earlier this season)
NFL owners considered banning hair that hangs below the name on the back of the jersey. Players can stuff their manes up under their helmets. Apparently, it’s being called...the “tuck rule”!

With a number of budget-strapped states now considering alternative avenues of income, we revisit a January 2008 ish of Gaming Today, which quoted Senate president Richard J. Codey as saying “I think Appalachian State would have to beat the (New York) Giants before the federal government would allow New Jersey to permit sports betting in casinos”. Beat the Giants? No. Beat the Jets? Maybe. Would knocking off the Raiders or Lions be acceptable??!!!

This past summer, the Las Vegas Hilton was taking wagers on an Irish hurling match (Tipperary vs. Waterford). Vindy remembers doing his share of hurling in his college days in Happy Valley, but has no recollection of making it a competitive team sport! So upon what criteria is said behavior scored????!!!... Distance... color...degree of difficulty...artistic interpretation??! We foresee yet-another reality show...Hurling With the Stars....judged by...Will Farrell, Jack Black and Lindsey Lohan!!!

Favorite lyrics from Z-Z Top for a sports gambler who’s hit five of his/her first six ties-win parlay card picks with one to go...”Lord, take me downtown. I’m just lookin’ for some push!”

With the UNLV basketball team on a six-game exhibition tour of Australia last summer, the Sutherland Sharks promoted their game on the team website, noting... “UNLV reached the final 16 of the NCAA championships and were knocked out by the eventual winners Kansas State University. This should be a big game.” The Rebels, of course, lost to actual title-holders, the Kansas Jayhawks, but the K-State Wildcats are still national champs down under until proven otherwise!

Also last June, a New York-Pennsylvania League baseball game between Staten Island and Brooklyn featured an ambidextrous pitcher and a switch-hitting batter. The hurler and hitter switched sides repeatedly for several minutes before umpires ended the shenanigans. Vindy tried to engage a ticket-writer in a similar conflict, but the bookie didn’t see the humor in it and simply had security remove the ominous oracle!

The NBA’s newest Senior VP of Referee Operations is former Army Major General Ronald L. Johnson, who was the Commanding General of the Army Corps of Engineers, Gulf Region Division in 2003 and 2004. Well, we’ll know who to call upon if there’s ever a need to clear a path through a half-court minefield, rebuild some blown-up backboards or set up a pontoon bridge between the two sidelines!

Coming Spring 2009....the first U.S. Coin stamped in Braille. The front of the silver dollar commemorating the 200th anniversary of Louis Braille’s birth will feature the blind alphabet’s creator with the word “liberty”. On the “tails” side will be a schoolboy reading a Braille book, with a bookshelf behind him bearing the Braille equivalent of “Take the Trojans over 9 ½ wins!”

In May, five college students were charged with attempting to steal a baby alligator from a mini golf course in Daytona...but not before taking turns trying to putt the ball through its mouth as it raised and lowered its jaws on the 14th hole!.

Taking a few liberties with the NHL’s Stanley Cup commercial...”I am the third-down sack. I am the touchdown pass. I am the 50-yard field goal. I am the BCS trophy!”

Researchers discovered what could be earliest photo of Helen Keller with her teacher Anne Sullivan. Keller is seen holding a doll, believed to be first word spelled into Keller’s hand. Just days after the picture was taken, Keller would spell Y-A-L-E P-L-U-S-S-E-V-E-N-O-V-E-R-H-A-R-V-A-R-D into Sullivan’s hand.

If a team falls in a bowl game broadcast on Versus, does it make a sound?

A February “Leftovers” column in the Las Vegas Review-Journal compared Tony Romo’s going from Carrie Underwood to Sophia Bush to Jessica Simpson and denying reports he’s moved on to a new girlfriend as “a veteran quarterback going through his checkdown progression”. Might his remaining “release valves” be Britney Spears, Hayden Panettiere, Hannah Montana or the Olson Twins???!!

ESPN: Da’ Mag, citing a December 2007 divorce petition, noted that among Shaq’s monthly expenses was a $3345 telephone bill! Imagine what it would be if he just “phoned it in” each game!!!!!

The Spring ‘08 ish of The Penn Stater magazine recognized sophomore Erin Luley for setting national records in the USA Memory Championship in the Poetry and Names & Faces events. Bill Belichick plans to use the Happy Valley student’s skills on the Patriots sidelines to memorize opponents hand-signals!

April Fools Day conference- Hillary challenges Obama to a bowl-off. Hey...Vindy would love to match post-season picks with the president-elect and his Secretary of State!

UNLV coaches were told $300K needed to be hacked off its athletic department budget. Solutions considered included reducing the number of showerheads in the locker rooms, forcing players to shower together post-game (OK, maybe just the women’s locker room); replacing bobblehead give-away nights with silent auctions of stuff owned by players and coaches; scheduling more away games with Big Six conference teams to get those big paydays in exchange for certain losses; shortening dimensions of Sam Boyd football field to 90 X 40 to lower groundskeeping costs; allowing Vegas gamblers to “invest” some of the budget money each week (on non-UNLV games of course) and changing the team moniker from Runnin’ Rebels to “Rebs” or “Rubles” to save on lettering for uniforms, team logo-wear and printing costs. Of course, winnin’ more than five games might get the fans to show up! How ‘bout adding Notre Dame, Michigan, UDUB and Wazzou to the non-conference schedule???!!!!.

In October, the Truckee Meadows Community College orchestra conductor sued EA Sports for copyright infringement over inclusion of his “Win With The Rebels” music in its video games, to the tune of $150K per unauthorized use. Not to worry for the folks at Electronic Arts since the song will only be heard five times or less per any 12 games played!

“Texas”, a conglomerate of college football players with ties to the Lone Star State, defeated “Nation” (a collection of players from around the rest of the country) 41-14 last February. But thanks to the tie-breaker system and the BCS computers, Nation will go to the conference championship game anyway!

Prior to last year’s Super Bowl, KFC offered to donate $260K to charity in the name of any player who did a chicken dance celebration for at least 3 seconds in the end zone during the Big Game. There were no takers, but Vindy would be happy to embarrass himself doing so in the sportsbook! With all apologies to the folks at Jack-In-The-Box... Vindicator is....your chicken-man!

Last February, Europe’s new science lab, Columbus, was attached to the International Space Station. Nice of the folks at Ohio State to sponsor a European space lab, dontcha’ think?! Maybe Mrs. Palin had something to do with that. We heard she said she could also see The Horseshoe from the front porch of her Alaskan home!

This time last year, White House officials revealed that tapes containing e-mails and electronic documents prior to 2003 were recycled. Kinda’ like all those wedding videos that get taped over with NFL Conference Championship games, huh?!

The Mike Lowell Foundation, named for the Boston Red Sox player, raises big dollars for children with cancer. It also sponsors “Dancin’ with the All-Stars”. Hmmm...we think it’s just a matter of time before the event determines home-field advantage for the World Series!

UCLA hoopster Kevin Love, on facing the Lopez twins of Stanford, said...”It’s like the walking trees from ‘Lord of the Rings’...” No truth to the rumor the Cardinal will change its mascot from a mere redwood to an Ent!

Yankee Alex Rodriguez has been romantically-linked to Madonna. No sign yet though that he’s changed religions to... Kabaseballa!

As reported by ESPN: Da’ Mag, 92 South Korean soccer players dislocated their own shoulders to get out of being drafted into the military. Not only were they drafted, they were signed up for Special Forces!

The Obama camp has been pondering what to do with a $30M campaign surplus....we’re thinkin’ OSPN (Obama and Sports Programming Network) has a nice ring to it! (Come to think of it, so does...the Barack Ten Conference!). Or how ‘bout buyin’ out the Big Ten and PAC-10, then implementing that Football Bowl Subdivision playoff he wants!

A Wolverhampton (England) striker assaulted a nightclub doorman with his girlfriend’s purse. His was a Gucci, while hers was just a cheap knock-off or what??!!! We just want to know if the card shown to the player by the referee following the play was...carmine or saffron!!!

Terrell Owens admitted missing a random drug test, blaming it on a “communication problem involving cell phone numbers.” Vindy’s thoughts?.....”Ya lost me at ‘T.O.’”

Black Shirt: The coveted ebony tee goes to 285-lb Kentucky defensive tackle Ventrell Jenkins, who returned a late fumble 56 yards for the deciding TD vs. ECU, allowing Vindy’s Best Bets to finish 4-0!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: BYU over Arizona...after sarcastically scribing “woo-hoo” as a measure of Coogs enthusiasm for drawing a post-season date in Sin City for the fourth straight time!

“Locked in a Box?”: NIU fell outright to Louisiana Tech as previously noted, dropping the 08-09 lock record to a still-mighty-respectable 13-3 (.812).

Shoppe Talk: The Weber Kid never actually saw the final Ole Miss-Texas Tech score, but the combined absence of “guns up” his...er... um... nostrils...and searing of his retinas upon attempting to view the box score suggests he had the correct side, sending the Raiders forecast tally to 2-9. Flame-Throwers Wisconsin (1-7) and BYU (2-9) continued to thwart Vindicator with losses.

Vindy’s Best Bets: Bowls: 4-0 Season: 42-25-1(.627)

Despite his reasonable amount of success this season, those guys from the Alltel commercial think Vindy’s “still a ding-dong!”

A man named Jim Purol set the world mark for most seats sat in over a 48-hour period with 39,250. After busting the record, Jim sat in the remaining seats at the Rose Bowl for a total of 92,542. In his honor, Vindicator will spend the upcoming off-season sitting in every seat in every sportsbook in Las Vegas!

Until late August, Sportsfans, we leave you with...

Words of wisdom from frequent Gaming Today contributor Sid Diamond: “Never fall in love with a big favorite, as with the underdog you always have two chances to win and with a favorite you only have one.”

And the traditional Irish blessing...”May the road dog rise up to beat you!” (Something like that!)

Vindy's 2008-09 Bowl Picks- Part Deux

2008-12-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

DEC. 28
INDEPENDENCE:
Northern Illinois over Louisiana Tech giving 1 ½ (47): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. Rookie NIU head coach Jerry Kill inherited 20 returning starters and took advantage of that to increase the Huskies points-scored by 6 per game (to average of 25), while lowering points-against by nearly two touchdowns per game (to average of 18). NIU did lose 3 of final 4 SU, but against high-powered offenses of Ball State and Central Michigan. Weeziana Tech can score as well, but big points came at the expense of WAC squads New Mexico State, Idaho and Utah State (38 in an outright loss), while putting up just 7 as one of Army’s trio of straight-up victories. Huskies could throw a shutout, but let’s call it...NIU 23 LT 7

DEC. 29
PAPAJOHNS.COM:
NC State over Rutgers taking 7 (53): Best guess for “wish I had it back”. Rutgers was left for dead after an 0-3 SU/ATS start, but covered its final eight games, winning six outright. Lowest rushing yardage totals for University of NJ since 84 ypg in 2004, but Mike Teel has given the Knights a potent air attack. On the other side of the field, Coach O’Brien has ‘Pack returning to the bowls after team went 3-9 just three seasons ago. O’Brien led Boston College to seven straight bowl victories before joining NC State. It’s okay to take a Knight to a gunfight, but we’ll just take the points...Rutgers 24 NCSU 20

ALAMO:
#22 Northwestern taking #25 Missouri taking 13 (66): We like the “over” more than a side here. Wildcats decent defensively, but gave up 45 to Ohio State and 37 to Michigan State. Regular readers know we’ve been lambasting the Tigers “defense” all season. Mizzou crushed Arkansas in a bowl last year following three-TD defeat by Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship en route to third-straight bowl cover (2-1 SU), but we expect NW to light up the scoreboard enough in first bowl under Coach Pat Fitzgerald (and while we’re making another conservative call, the upset would not shock this prognosticator)...Tigers 44 NW 34

DEC. 30
ROADY’S HUMANITARIAN:
Maryland over Nevada-Reno taking 1 (58): Curious line, except Terps’ adjustment to a new offensive coordinator this year shows in a 4-ppg decrease in points-scored. Still, we like Maryland’s ACC-caliber D over Reno’s wild-and-wooly WAC offense (which has yielded just a 1-2 SU/ATS result in last three bowls)... Box Turtles 31 UNR 28

TEXAS:
Rice over Western Michigan giving 3 (73): This got lock consideration. Virtually a home game for the Owls, who addition to having a pass-heavy offense, also get it done on the ground. Not good news for WMU team that thrives on just outscoring its opponents. Broncos average turnovers per game. Can’t give the Owls a short field. A french Olympic swimmer and Rice fan (don’t ask) was quoted as saying, “The Mid-Americans? We’re gonna’ smash ‘em. That’s what we came here for.”...Owls 52 WMU 38

PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY:
#13 Oklahoma State over #15 Oregon giving 3 (76 ½): Second-highest over/under total of all 34 bowls. At first glance, the total appears justified. But a more in-depth look reveals both teams favoring the rush (though Cowpokes have racked nearly as much passing yardage) and a quickly-moving, lower-scoring game. Ducks beat up on weak Pacifist Ten foes, while State went toe-to-toe with the stellar Big 12 South. Mallards lost at home to Boise. Cowboys lost by 4 in Austin. Cowpokes and the “under” gets the vote...OKSU 38 Decoys 31

DEC. 31
BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES:
Air Force over Houston taking 2 ½ (64): Pairing of two squads with completely different philosophies. Cougars live to pass, while the only passing done by the Pilots involves waking past opposing players back to huddle following runs for first-downs! Flyboys won in mid-September 31-28 at Houston. Coogs hung 70 on Tulsa, but are on 0-3 SU/ATS bowl slide...USAF 29 UH-OH 27

BRUT SUN:
#24 Oregon State over #18 Pittsburgh giving 3 (52 ½): Beavers probably deserving of fave role here since they had been on 8-1 ATS run until losing the RB component of the Rodgers brothers before bad loss to Oregon. Panthers took four of final five outright to get here (though we discount wins over Notre Dame and Louisville, props to Pitt for blowout of Connecticut!) And got points in four of ‘em. How weird it would be if Panthers win, Trojans cover vs. Penn State, who belted the Beavers, who tripped up Southern Cal. Pitt’s ast bowl “appearance” was 35-7 loss to Utah in 2004... Beavers 34 Pitt 20

GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY:
Boston College over Vanderbilt giving 3 ½ (41): Another game we ike to go under the total. While failing tio cover the past two, Eagles have won bowls in each of the last 8 seasons. Admirals opened 5-0 straight up, but struggled mightily to get that bowl-eligibility-securing 6th victory (mid-November at Kentucky) and posted 14 just one time in last eight tilts to stumble into first post-season competition since 1982...BC 19 Vandy 7

INSIGHT:
Minnesota over Kansas taking 10 (57 ½): gO-Fers offense went seriously-dormant in conference play, but the much-improved defense kept Minny in most of its games (55-0 loss to Iowa in season-ender the obvious exception!). As Todd Reesing’s passing goes, so goes Kansas. Fightin’ Mangones drew horrible conference slate this year, facing Oklahoma in Norman, Texas Tech and Texas. Jayhawks recorded seven wins, but vs... Florida International, Weeziana Tech, I-AA Sam Houston State, at Iowa State (barely) and Colorado. Only option here is to grab the grab the ten-spot...Birds 34 Gilded Gerbils 27

CHICK-FIL-A:
#14 Georgia Tech over Louisiana State giving 4 (50): If they didn’t do so before, the Bees players (and their foes) now believe in Coach Johnson’s triple-option! Bengals pretty good stopping the run (106 ypg allowed), but went 2-9 against the number, are on 3-15-2 spread death-spiral and almost lost to Troy as 20-point chalk. State seniors have little to play for. ‘Jackets defeated SEC opponents at both ends of the spectrum... Mississippi State and Georgia... Ramblin’ Wreck 20 Paper Tigers 12

JAN. 1 (“Hey look, Mr. Bill....these are all Thursday games!” “Oh, noooooooooooooooooo.....!”)
OUTBACK:
Iowa over South Carolina giving 3 ½ (43): Smallish line shows some respect for Gamehens squad that lost three of its last five and turns the ball over almost three times a game! By contrast, Hawkeyes won five of its last six to get here. Steve Spurrier better become the “Ol’ Ball-Protection Coach” or his folks are in trouble vs. Iowa club that’s covered three of last four post-season trips (against the likes of Texas, LSU and Florida ...twice!)...Hawkeyes 27 Chicken Nuggets 9

CAPITAL ONE:
#16 Georgia over #19 Michigan State giving 7 ½ (54): What will be the mind-set of the Bulldogs after squandering huge lead in loss to Joja’ Tech? Georgia has been backer-friendly in the bowls, going 7-3 ATS the last 10 years. After hearing how good Hawaii was for a couple weeks last season, Joja’ trashed the ‘Bows. No such hype surrounding State this time, but we like UGA anyway...’Dawgs 38 MSU 19

KONICA MINOLTA GATOR:
Nebraska over Clemson taking 2 ½ (55 ½): Tigers were one of season’s biggest busts (as noted in an earlier forecast, we had a futures wager on Clemson to win it all), but won and covered 3 of last 4. And though Tigers allowed 34 points to ‘Bama and 41 to FSU, no other opponent scored more than 21. Tigers have given points in each of the last three years’ bowls, but won just one and covered none of ‘em! Bo Pelini has returned the Huskers to an eight-win season and coached Big Dread to an OT loss at Texas Tech, but the defense still has issues...Nebraska 31 Clemson 30

ROSE PRESENTED BY CITI:
#5 Southern Cal over #6 Penn State giving 10 (45): Oh, the shame! But the pick is more head than heart. Lions just one bad 4th Quarter defensive series away from a title shot in Miami, yet also just a lone Buckeyes turnover from two losses and being completely outta’ the championship conversation. Just two State foes put up more than teens on the scoreboard (24 each by Illinois and Iowa). SoCal is even better, allowing just two opponents more than 10 (23 to Stanford and 27 in only outright loss at Oregon State) and while it lost four of last 6 ATS, none of those saw a spread this low. Trojans won’t likely get anything going vs. State’s run stoppers, but the Lions’ pass defense, especially on 3rd-and-long, is an exploitable weakness. Big Tent-Peg Conference is on 0-4 SU Rose Bowl skid. Trojans have won and covered 5 of last 6 post-season games, and three of last four tries in Pasadena (convincingly!). While we’ll accept a SoCal spread win or an outright victory by the Lions, a State defeat covering the line is of no consolation to this proud, but skeptical alum...USC 29 PSU 14

FED-EX ORANGE:
#12 Cincinnati over #21 Virginia Tech giving 1 ½ (42): As always, defense is the strength of the Hokies (last five opponents scored in the teens or less and Tech is plus-11 in take-aways). Bearkats need to do better protecting the passer (yielded 30 sacks this season) and the ball itself (minus-5 turnovers). Tech is only 2-5 vs. the number in last 7 bowls (winning two outright), while Cincy has covered just 1 of last 6 post-season tilts. ‘Kats did close the year with five SU victories, have won three straight bowls (though only over Southern Miss, Western Michigan and Marshall) and have revenge factor for 29-13 loss at Virginia Tech in 2006...UC 27 VT 23

JAN. 2
AT&T COTTON:
#20 Mississippi over #8 Texas Tech taking 5 ½ (70 1/2): Yeah, right...like Vindicator has a snowball’s chance of pickin’ the correct side here. The Tarot deck likes Tech, the coin backed Ole Miss 6 outta’ 10. The Magic 8-Ball responded, “You gotta’ be kiddin’ me!” and Auntie Entity’s wheel favored “dismemberment” (but bowl committee members typically look down upon that [though Dick Cheney has recently come out in favor of water-boarding !]). Go! Run! Save yourselves!...Rebels 31 Red Raiders 29

AUTOZONE LIBERTY:
Kentucky over East Carolina taking 2 (42): This one got “lock” votes. We were seriously hopin’ see the Pirates getting about a touchdown because they’ve won their last five games outright when taking 8 ½ or more points (including last season’s bowl win over Boise State getting double-digits). ECU fizzled a bit after opening upsets over Virginia Tech and West Virginia, following that success with a four-point squeaker over Tulane and three straight losses. Pirates didn’t get the booty as chalk this season, going just 2-6-1. Wildcats had some poor moments, but lost at ‘Bama by a FG...Kentucky 24 East Carolina 17

ALL-STATE SUGAR:
#7 Utah over #4 Alabama taking 10 ½ (45): If both defenses dominate they way they can, this will be a close, low-scoring game. Between LSU and his first year at ‘Bama, Nick Saban has gone 4-2 SU/ATS in his last six bowl opportunities, but didn’t lay double-digits in any of ‘em. Key match-up here might be Tide’s rushing game (196.5 ypg) vs. Utes run defense (107.2 ypg allowed). Given that TCU had Utah on the ropes before losing and conspiracy theory noted earlier regarding the BYU game, Utes’ best win of the season mighta’ been 31-28 victory over Oregon State. Senior QB Brian Johnson is a good signal-caller, but Tim Tebow he ain’t. Still, we take Utah as the only BCS bowl doggie we’‘ll back...Tide 23 Utes 17

JAN. 3
INTERNATIONAL:
Buffalo over Connecticut taking 4 (51 1/2): Both teams relatively new to I-A post-season play as UConn enters only its third bowl, while Bulls make their bowl debut. Run-heavy Huskies spanked eventual Big Least champ Cincinnati, but crawl into January having dropped 3 of last 4 games outright (beating only Syracuse). Buffalo prefers the air game and its best shot at a victory might be drawing the Dogs into a shootout. Bulls coach Turner Gill interviewed at Syracuse and Auburn, but just signed one year extension for more moola at Buffalo. That should work in Buffalo’s favor. Bulls fans can save plane fare and just skate across Lake Ontario to the Great White North.... UConn 27 Buffalo 24

JAN. 5
TOSTITOS FIESTA:
#3 Texas over #10 Ohio State giving 9 ½ (53 ½): There’s more pressure on Texas here to prove the BCS folks made the wrong choice sending Oklahoma to the Big 12 championship game. We think Mack Brown will be more than happy to oblige and will run it up given the opportunity. Buckeyes like playing in Glendale, having won the Fiesta Bowls in ‘02, ‘03 and ‘05, but none of those teams compared to this year’s ‘Horns (except maybe Miami’s then-undefeated 2002 squad) and State is pedestrian 4-5 ATS in last 9 post-season trips. UT no bargain either at 4-6 ATS in last ten bowls. Steers covered two of last three, but did not cover a minus-9 vs. Iowa in 2006...Texas 34 Ohio State 23

JAN. 6
GMAC:
Tulsa over #23 Ball State taking 2 ½ (77): Well, one sure-fire way to get detractors off your back for criticizing your decision to decline an offer to play another undefeated team in a bowl game is to get trounced in your conference title by your 15-point underdog opponent and prove yourself not worthy to begin with! Not sure what the Cardinals have left to gain with a victory...the perfect season? Gone? MAC title? Gone. Coach Hoke? Gone... to coach San Diego State???!!!. Golden Hurricane forfeited the C-USA crown via seven (count ‘em, seven!) turnovers vs. ECU. First underdog game for Tulsa since 2007 MAC championship match...Tulsa 38 BSU 34

JAN. 8
BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 Florida over #2 Oklahoma giving 3 (72): Gators beat previously-undefeated Crimson Tide without Percy Harvin and minus a couple of defensive players as well. Sooners faced only one other team with a great defense ... TCU...and blew it out, but Toads didn’t have the weapons on offense that Florida does. Also detracting from Boomer Schooner’s title hopes is that piece of hardware called the Heisman Trophy...won recently by OK QB Sam Bradford. The last three owners of that award failed to lead their teams to a straight-up bowl win. We refer you to...’05 weiner Reggie Bush (USC lost to Texas in the Rose Bowl [Anybody remember some guy named...Vince Young???!!]), ‘06 weiner Troy Smith (Buckeyes lost the BCS National Title to Florida) and (GASP!)...’07 weiner...some kid named Tebow... (Gators lost to Michigan in the Capital One Bowl!). We also lean toward the “over” here. This just in...Sooners star RB (and Las Vegas product) DeMarco Murray will miss the game. Not necessarily a show-stopper, but it definitely hurts Oklahoma...Florida 44 Sooners 33

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS:
Oh, the beer in my hand’s delightful,
And Vindy’s Picks sooooooooo insightful.
Even if they’re not in the poll,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!

The points show no signs of stoppin’,
Despite all those pads a’poppin’,
The fans really love them so,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!

When the last bowl game ends for the night,
How depressed I will be ‘til the Fall.
But if all of Vin’s picks are right,
I can say I at least had a ball.

Painted logos are quickly dryin’,
And the sponsors all hope we’re buyin’.
The scoreboard shows first-and-goal,
Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl! Let ‘em bowl!

Iiiii’ll be in a bowwwwl....for Chrisssstmassss...if onnnnnly.... innnnn.... myyyyyyy.....dreeeeams!

Just a thought on Brigham Young’s selection to the Las Vegas Bowl over Texas Christian...cue-up the Pink Floyd...”Money, it’s a hit. Don’t give me that T-C-U bullsh*t”. It’s no secret the Cougars are traveling yet-again to our national gambling mecca because they put butts in the stadium seats, but geez...how ‘bout a little variety???!!! And the beer vendors have to throw elbows as they try to make an alcoholic buck packed into whichever end zone the BYU opponents’ fans occupy!

OJ Simpson formally became a “guest” at a Southern Nevada correctional facility earlier this month (news flash...the Trojan/Buffalo rushing star is now in more-Northern Nevada grey-bar hotel). Maybe they’ll eventually retire his prisoner number (No. 1027820)! Wonder what his rookie prison year card will fetch! Anybody else out there see the irony in OJ’s role as a cop in the Naked Gun movie series???!!!!

Penn State’s Nittany Lion mascot, James Sheep, is suspended for the Rose Bowl after sustaining a DUI charge not long before PSU blew out Michigan State. Not to worry, he was offered a temp contract to don the Stanford tree costume until he’s reinstated in 2009...and a scholarship by Florida State! BTW, the police report quotes the wayward Sheep as calling out, “Joe Paaaaaaaaahhhhhhh” as he was hauled away in handcuffs by Happy Valley’s finest!

During a farewell appearance earlier this month in Baghdad, President Bush was the target of a pair of shoes, launched by an Iraqi journalist. Dubya tried to make the grab, but couldn’t reel in the footwear. In his defense, however, the shoes were thrown a little behind him and the outbound Commander-in-Chief trotted out of the conference room as the Secret Service sent in the punting unit. Anybody else out there foresee a NIKE commercial/satire to be aired during the upcoming Super Bowl???!! The original play called for Birkenstocks, but the Iraqi checked off at the line of scrimmage to Pradas after looking over the defense. The journalist later apologized for his actions, noting his mistook the president for a member of the Fightin’ Irish football team!

Following up on Vindy’s last discussion of the Army’s “coffee with a soldier” program...in light of the Hudson River Rats 34-0 neutral site loss to Navy, are there latte-lappin’ linemen? Did the motto change to one of the following: “Bean all you can bean”, “I am a cappuccino of one!” or “You make ‘em strong. We make ‘em espresso strong!”

Condi Rice was quoted this week as saying, “Only an idiot would trust Vindy’s pick on the Texas Tech game!” CollegeFootballNews.Com’s Clucko the Chicken selected Ole Miss over Texas Tech with a confidence-point ranking of 28 (1 being lowest confidence, 34 being the highest). BTW, Vindy and Clucko are practically related. The family tree-house suggests third cousins-four times removed (and those are just the incidents that actually made the official police blotter!).

“Wish I Had It Back”: Yeah, we’d like to revisit the Cincinnati -7 ½ over HAWAII pick after questioning the Bearkats’ motivation given the already-accepted berth in the Orange Bowl!

“Locked in a Box”: The Oklahoma Sooners left little doubt about covering the Big 12 Championship game and raised the lock record to 13-2 (.867)!

Vindy’s 2008 Bowl Season Best Bets: Championship Week: 1-0 (One pick?! That wuss!) Season: 38-25-1 (.603)
Rice -3 over Western Michigan, Boston College/Vanderbilt “under” 41, Joja’ Tech/LSU “under” 50, Kentucky +2 over East Carolina

Vindicator offers his annual holiday greetings to all his faithful readers...Pass on Earth, Goodwill Toward Linemen. On top of ‘dat, we extend...Crimson Tidings of Southern Comfort and joy! Be sure to visit us one more time a few days after completion of the BCS Championship game to check Vindy’s bowl recap and publication of his leftover “hash”!

Vindy's 2008-09 Bowl Predictions- Early Games

2008-12-18T20:30:00.000-08:00

FOOTBALL SEASON CURSE ATTEMPT BACKFIRES

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ITAR-Tass)...Way back in April, construction workers dug up a Red Sox jersey from a new Yankee Stadium service corridor. Buried there as a curse by a Red Sox fan, the David Ortiz uniform top “worked” ...the Bronx Bombers did not even make the 2008 MLB playoffs. Fast-forward several months to December 2008, when the Vegas Vindicator, conducting his annual change of flooring from Italian marble tile to Astroturf in honor of bowl season, uncovered a player jersey from USC, the 2007 Grill-Master Award winner, reportedly hidden in his livingroom by bookies hoping to put a hex on Vindy’s season. But the ploy was a complete bust as Vin’s lock picks hit nearly 87%, “best bets” cashed tickets at a more-than-60% success rate and the Sin City Soothsayer finished a regular season over .500 for first time since Joe Paterno discovered fire! Showing his rapier wit, Vindy responded to the attempted sabotage by quipping “Stuff that in your stocking and smoke it!”, “Yo...Bite me!” and “Curse this!” In fact, given the unprecedented positive results, the Weber Kid hinted at plans to have a Texas Tech jersey entombed under his driveway next season. The famous forecaster allegedly offered the job (and a significant stipend) to a local bookmaker, who declined, but allegedly said he could refer him to an “associate who’s very good with cement”!

A ho-ho-ho....hum...4-5 championship week (125-120-4, 510), prompting an Iraqi sports journalist to hurl platform sneakers, has your sardonic seer diving for cover behind...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008-09 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(AP rankings; lines of December 18, over/under totals in parentheses)

DEC. 20
EAGLE BANK BOWL:
Navy over Wake Forest taking 3 (43): The original moniker for this game was the Congressional Bowl, but that didn’t even last the duration of the first season! Middies have beaten the line 4 straight post-seasons and gone 2-2 SU, missing outright victories by a whisker over Boston College in 2006 and Utah last year. Rematch of late September game in Winston-Salem, won 24-17 by the Boat People. Nothing’s changed to suggest Navy can’t repeat that and the Sailors are on nice 21-11ATS run getting points away from the home harbor. Middies also did not give up a single point in its final two regular season games, neither of which were played in Annapolis. Vindy’s note-to-self in his post-bowl recap last season was akin to “Do not bet vs. the Middies in a bowl!”...Ensigns 20 Deacs 17

NEW MEXICO:
Colorado State over Fresno State taking 2 ½ (60 1/2): Bettors nightmare. This pair combined to go 3-10 ATS away from their respective homefields. Rams did almost beat BYU and how the Bulldogs opened the season beating Rutgers at Exit 9B of the Jersey Turnpike is still a mystery. Fresno’s only cover other than win over the Knights was at San Jose State. Bulldogs bowl resume ain’t bad though...4-1 SU/ATS with victories over Virginia, UCLA and Georgia Tech (twice!)...Fresno 30 Colorado State 28

MAGICJACK ST. PETERSBURG:
South Florida over Memphis giving 12 1/2 (52): A 5-0 SU start for the Bulls quickly unraveled as USF dropped five of its last 7. Have to think junior QB Matt Grothe can pick apart a Tigers defense that played in C-USA conference that did not value defense nearly as much as it valued offensive shootouts. Bulls just 1-2 SU/ATS in short bowl history. They’ll make this one count...South Florida 45 Memphis 19

PIONEER PUREVISION LAS VEGAS:
#17 Brigham Young over Arizona taking 3 (61 1/2): The Cougar seniors make a 4th straight December trek to Sin City (woo-hoo). The Mormon faithful have made the Vegas Silver Bowl nearly a home atmosphere, but the Cougs have covered only two of their last six bowls. Not sure how well the Wildcats fans will travel given ‘Zonas’s first post-season showing since 1998. BYUsed Me may have lost legitimately to Utah, but the blowout loss leads this forecaster to consider a conspiracy meant to ensure a conference-wide profitable BCS berth for a Mountain West squad...Missionaries 28 Wildcats 25

DEC. 21
R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS:
Troy over Southern Miss giving 4 (54 1/2): Trojans went 8-3 against the line this season, including covers at Columbus and at Baton Rouge, in piling up 8 SU victories (and the 9th should’ve come at LSU). Troy allowed a grand total of 19 points over its last three regular games and will show no fear playing a mere C-USA opponent. Eagles also finished strong, winning and covering their last four tilts to get here, but beat only one team that finished with a winning record for the 2008 campaign...Troy 34 USM 20

DEC. 23
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA:
#11 Texas Christian over #9 Boise State giving 2 ½ (46): Two great defenses square off here and both teams can put up points. Both entered the season with thoughts of much bigger things than December visit to San Diego. Boise did its part, going undefeated, including a win in Eugene. Rematch of 2003 bowl, in which Toads covered but lost SU to the Broncos. TCU has covered 5 of 6 bowls under Coach Patterson. Boise is 2-3 ATS in its last 5 bowl games. Best call here might be the “under”...TCU 20 BSU 16

DEC. 24
SHERATON HAWAII:
HAWAII over Notre Dame giving 1 1/2 (48 1/2): Frightenin’ Irish have been defeated by nine consecutive bowl opponents. Middle-Eastern pilgrims held a symbolic stoning of the devil earlier this month in Saudi Arabia. Funny, fans in South Bend conducted a similar action involving a Charlie Weis effigy (and Vindy’s spies report unhappy alumni in Ann Arbor planning a little soiree for a Rich Rodriguez dummy too!). Warriors had Cincinnati all but beaten, but yielded a 19-point 4th Quarter that cost ‘em an 8th straight-up win. No snowballs in the tropics, but there should be lotsa’ pineapples, coconuts and lava rocks for Catholic “fans” wanting to show off their arms...’Bows 38 Hunchbacks 31

DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY:
Florida Atlantic over Central Michigan taking 6 ½ (63): Owls got hot in the second half of the season vs. not-real potent Sun Belt schedule after dropping 4 of first 5 SU (in their defense, six of first eight were road games) to win five of last six. Chippies bowling for 3rd consecutive season (1-1 SU/2-0 ATS). Only three of CMU’s opponents scored less than 25. Owls allowed 52 at Texas...no shame in that....but also 50 to Florida International. Chippies gave up 56 to (gasp!) Eastern Michigan...CMU 38 FAU 33

DEC. 27
MEINEKE CAR CARE:
North Carolina over West Virginia (PK) (44 ½): Not sure which Carolina team will take the field here, but since Butch Davis took the helm, points-scored are up nearly 10 ppg, while points-against are down 10 ppg. Can’t argue with a 20-point shift on average. First year coach Bill Stewart led Mounties to bowl win over Oklahoma last season after RichRod jumped to Ann Arbor. WVU not scoring as much this year, but have covered three straight bowl appearances, winning two. Butch Davis is no stranger to bowl victories either, having been with solid Miami teams in the late Nineties...UNC 23 WVU 19

CHAMPS SPORTS:
Wisconsin over Florida State taking 4 ½ (52 1/2): No known Injun’ suspensions at this point, but there’s still time before kickoff (that pesky academic requirement thingy could still intervene if the criminals on the team go into Gatorade-bucket defilade!). Seminoles have trumped the bowl spread four straight times (but haven’t been minus points since 2004 season). Badgers imploded during conference play, but had three defeats by combined 6 points...Da’ Chop 23 Varmints 20

EMERALD:
California over Miami giving 7 (50): Bears rush D has declined for third straight season, but Miami will throw more often than run anyway. Cal’s offense became more balanced this year and ‘Canes dropped last pair of regular season games, giving up 89 total points. Bears have yielded a lot of points to the better teams it faced, but Miami isn’t in that caliber. Bears at least playing close to home. Miami’s last bowl resulted in uninspired 21-20 win over Reno. Cal’s won 4 of last 5 bowls (3-2 ATS), though just two by 7 or more... Bears 31 Miami 14

Stop by again in a day or two, when we answering the following burning questions... who gets honors as "lock of da' bowls"? Which teams/totals made the "best bets", Gators or Sooners as national champions? Red Raiders...are they real or are they Memorex?! Boxers or briefs?! (Oh sorry...wrong blog!)

Ya'll come back now, hear???!!!

Vindy's 2008 Championship Week Picks

2008-12-03T20:26:00.000-08:00

DNA TESTS REVEAL CHILDHOOD SPORTS APTITUDE

BOULDER, Colorado (Reuters)...”Those who can, play. Those who can’t, coach. Those who can’t coach, predict.” So goes the old adage. And for less than $150, parents can find out where their child falls in the spectrum. That’s the premise of a new DNA test that analyzes blood for the presence of ACTN3, a gene linked to top-flight athletes. The results purportedly determine if a child, between the ages of 8 and 12, will ultimately succeed as a defensive end, outfielder, goalie, offensive coordinator or even a sports-gambling tout. The test can also separate out doer from picker by detecting high levels of another enzyme, called Phosphoric Iodized Potassium Nitrate, or PIKN for short, often found in high concentrations among top-flight prognosticators. The Gaming Control Board immediately issued a statement pooh-poohing the study, noting consistent accurate prediction of sporting events against the spread involves multiple factors and years of studying trends, injuries and weather effects as well as schedule situations and individual, unit or coaching match-ups. Secretly, however, casino operators fear creation of an army of super-forecasters, which could bring the legal sportsbooks to their financial knees in the span of a single season or two.

And to think...the Vindicator gave up his childhood dream of being a member of the Egyptian Olympic cross-country ski team to instead produce things like Week 14's record of 7-6-1 (121-115-4, 513). While Vindy shakes the desert sand (and a little pyramid dust) out of his Rossignols, take a gander at...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST

FRI. DEC. 5
MAC Championship @ Detroit, Michigan
#12 Ball State over Buffalo giving 14 1/2: Kudos to Bulls coach Turner Gill for turning a moribund football program into a seven-win, bowl-bound squad in just three seasons, but last week’s home loss to the Golden Flushes of Kent State, who had only two wins over I-A teams until that point, shows Buffalo is not ready yet to be the MAC champ. It was competitive in back-to-back losses to Central Michigan and Western Michigan, both of whom Ball State defeated (by 7 and 22, respectively). Bulls lost to the Cardinals at home by 30 in 2006 and 35 at Muncie last year... Ball State 42 Buffalo 20

SAT. DEC. 6
SEC Championship @ Atlanta, Georgia
#2 Florida over #1 Alabama giving 9 ½: But there are a couple reasons to like Alabama in its first conference crown game since 1999. Tide has allowed 9 points or less in four of last five games (but did have to go to the bonus round to drop LSU in Baton Rouge) and did something Florida didn’t...beat Ole Miss. First underdog opportunity for ‘Bama since season-opening blowout over Clemson (also on a neutral field). Florida could add to its league-leading five interceptions returned for touchdown (tied with two other teams) by pressuring John Parker-Wilson (even without a couple of injured defenders) and we can’t forget UF smashed Georgia on a neutral site. Straight-up winner has covered 8 of last 10 SEC title matches...Crocs 34 Alabama 20

Big 12 Championship @ San Antonio, Texas
#4 Oklahoma over #19 Missouri giving 17: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Right or wrong, the Sooners got the BCS nod to be here. The South representative has dominated the conference championship of late, winning and covering 5 of last 6, all as chalk. In fact, the straight-up winner has covered at least the past eleven title games and if Missouri pulls the upset, we’re launching a Congressional investigation, spearheaded by Kansas senator Sam Brownback! The Sooners smacked the Tigers here 38-17 last season and look even stronger this year, while Mizzou has been touched for 42, 56 and 40 against Illinois, Texas and Kansas...with two of those games on neutral sites. Have to think Okies could hit the 60's for the fifth consecutive game. Only knock on Oklahoma is allowing a 90-yard kickoff return for touchdown early in the 4th Quarter at Oklahoma State. Maybe the Tigers can figure out a way to have the Sooners kick the ball to them each down instead of taking snaps...Oklahoma 58 Mizzou 24

#5 Southern Cal over UCLA giving 32 1/2: Despite unconfirmed reports suggesting otherwise, we think Trojans likely locked in Charlie Weis’ plane ticket outta’ South Bend last week (and final margin woulda’ been worse had USC not suffered three interceptions). Men of Troy have a very remote shot at the big prize, but will probably face Penn State in Pasadena. We figure they’ll go out swingin’ for the fences and aren’t hesitant about scoring obscene amounts of points. Bruins beat USC 13-9 in 2006 and lost by only 14 last season, but having mustered just 6 in home loss to the Beavers and 9 last week at Arizona State, UCLA could be on the wrong end of a second shutout in 2008 ...USC 41 UCLA 0

#13 Cincinnati over HAWAII giving 7 1/2: Guess there was no reason for the Bearkats to lay the lumber to the ‘Cuse Saturday since Friday’s Pitt win over the Mounties gave UC the Big Fleeced title. Two turnovers and ten penalties didn’t help. Motivation could be an issue for Bearkats team already locked into the Orange Bowl and just enjoying a little Island sunshine. In the shadows of Boise State, Hawaii has quietly compiled nice seven-win season, including victories in six of last eight after slow 1-3 start. ‘Bows 3-2 ATS at home this year and have won four of five outright west of the Mainland. Not bad for a team that brought back just four starters on each side of the ball and introduced a new head coach. ‘Cats have covered 7 of last 9 giving points to non-conference teams...Cincy 31 UH 20

ACC Championship @ Tampa, Florida
#18 Boston College over Virginia Tech giving 1: Rematch of earlier season game in Chestnut Hill, won 28-23 by the Eagles. Hokies just 2-5 ATS in their past 7 games this year and defeat by BC lowered Tech’s spread record against the Eagles to 2-7. Neither team scoring many points, with VT breaking outta’ the 20's just once (in 35-30 win at Nebraska) and Boston College doing so just three times (once vs. I-AA Rhode Island). Tech having un-Hokie-like year defensively, holding just one FBS opponent (Duke) to single digits. Eagles limited Central Florida to a lone touchdown and pitched shutouts in three other games to-date. BC riding four-game SU win streak. We’ll go with the hotter squad, who also have revenge factor after losing ACC championship 30-16 to these Hokies last year...BC 24 Virginia Tech 20

#23 Pittsburgh over CONNECTICUT taking 2 ½: Panthers would like to return the favor after losing at home by 20 to UConn last season. Pitt just 1-3 SU/ATS last 4 vs. the Dogs, but its only road loss came at Cincinnati (by a TD). Connecticut smoked the Bearkats, but squeaked by Temple and lost to South Florida before last week’s bye. Huskies went one-and-done in only ranked appearance back in Week Six and haven’t impressed the AP voters enough to return since then. They won’t get it done this week either...Panthers 24 UConn 19

C-USA Championship @ Orlando, Florida
East Carolina over Tulsa taking 13 ½: Third appearance for Tulsa in the very short, now four-year history of the game. The previous two weren’t pleasant as Central Florida won (and covered) both (in ‘05 and ‘07). All three C-USA championships were covered by the favorite, but we think that stops this year. After nice 7-0 SU/6-1 ATS start, Golden Hurricane has slipped to 2-2/1-3 recently, including unsettling 3-point win last week at Marshall. The magic that carried the Pirates to upsets of Virginia Tech and West Virginia in its first pair of tilts of 2008 faded quickly with three consecutive outright losses in mid-October (so did the spread record, which now stands at 4-7-1). ECU is, however, on 14-4 run getting points away from home...Tulsa 35 Arrrrrgh 27

Army over Navy taking 11 (@ Philadelphia, PA): Two of country’s perennial Top Ten rushing attacks square off here. Both also rank in the Top 28 in rush defense, which should be conducive to quick, relatively low-scoring affair. While the Middies have scored 12 more rushing touchdowns than Army, it has faced only one of other option team...Air Force, whom it defeated 33-27 earlier. Keydets have only three straight-up victories, but played hard enough to cover in 16-7 loss to the Falcons and 21-17 loss at Texas A&M (who boasts its own Corps of Cadets). Army owns solid 7-3 ATS record on the season and lost by 3 to Buffalo and 7 to Rice. Middies have won 7 games (including victories over Rutgers, at Wake Forest and shutout at Northern Illinois), but are just 5-4 against the line (1-1 as chalk)...Sailors 20 Ground Pounders 13

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
It’s a little-known fact that back in the late Sixties, the Sin City Soothsayer participated in highly-classified government experiments, using the aforementioned DNA tests. Vindy’s enzyme profile pegged his only chance at a successful sports career as being one of two specific positions...waterboy for a women’s rhythmic gymnastics team or retail associate at a bobblehead doll concession stand!

Las Vegas is one of five cities where the Army is trying “coffee with a soldier”... recruiting America’s future military leaders at local coffee shops. Now we know where the Keydets get their players. If you look closely, you can see the Starbucks logo on the Black Knights’ Gatorade buckets. Talk about getting “up” for the game! Opening jitters have nothin’ to do with anxiety...it’s the iced coffee in those buckets! (Observant fans and viewers at home will also note little plastic sippy-tops on the cups!). As the signals get sent in from the sideline, the QB checks them against a tiny order-menu chalkboard strapped to his wrist! In fact, upon hearing an unsuspecting civilian rattle off his desire for a “caramel latte venti Ristretto...wet!”, a cadet receiver moonlighting recently as a barista off-campus, went in motion behind the pastry case, took advantage of a nice block by a co-worker and picked up a six-yard gain....without spilling a drop!

Joining the league of ESPN college hoops broadcasters this season is former coach Bobby Knight. Showing he’s still passionate about the game and fresh outta’ chairs, The General launched a folding microphone onto the hardwood following a bad call against Texas Tech last week!

SEASON RECAP:
Best Weekly Effort: Week Seven’s nifty 13-5!

Worst Weekly “Effort”: Week Three’s 5-12-1.

WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This season’s “You’re in Good Hands Award” goes to...drum roll, please...the Joja’ Bulldogs at 9-1-1 (.900). Second place to the Florida State Seminoles (6-1, .857; who ironically were on “watch” status following an 0-6 forecast record in 2007) and we have a tie for Honorable Mention between the Florida Gators and the Trojans of Southern Cal, both at 9-2 (.818).

FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of ‘da spread): The bookies loved the smell of napalm in the morning... afternoon ...and night...courtesy of this year’s “Grill-Master Supreme Award” winner Texas Tech (1-9, .100...was there ever a doubt??!!). “Suckin’ Place” goes to the Large, Wooden...Badgers of Wisconsin (1-6, .142) and “Dishonorable Mention” to BYUsed Me (2-8, .250).

Below the official radar, but we’ll be watchin’: Utah (4-7, .363) and...Thursday Night (4-9, .303)!

Shoppe Talk: The Red Raiders close out the regular Shoppe season, joined by their Lone Star brethren, the Texas Longhorns, who currently own a 1-4 forecast slide!

Black Shirt: Gets pressed, starched and hung neatly in the locker of Jayhawks QB Todd Reesing, who tossed a pair of 4th Quarter touchdowns to make good on Vindy’s almost-upset pick of Kansas over Mizzou!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vindicator called the Texas Tech-Baylor pick mostly likely for this category!

“Locked in a Box?”: OK, there were a few more points scored than predicted (52 more, to be exact!) In the Joja’-Joja’ Tech game, but Bees made good on Vindy’s upset special and boost the lock record to 12-2 (.851)!

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2-1 Season: 37-25-1 (.597)
(Hey...Vindy was a measly 20-35-1, .363 this time last year!) Slim pickin’s this week...TROY -11 over Arkansas State (and that’s all we’d consider among the unranked match-ups!)

Vindicator now gets a well-earned blow (and not a single rolled-up Benjamin to be found!), but worry not, loyal readers. The Omniscient One will return (with his PIKN genes intact) circa December 18 with this season’s version of his infamous bowl predictions! In the immortal words of game-show host Chuck Woolery...”we’ll be back in two and two!”

Vindy's Picks Week 14-2008 Regular Edition

2008-11-26T18:58:00.000-08:00

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD-QUARTER KIND

DEVILS TOWER, Wyoming (BBC)....The contents of a toolbag thought to be long gone following a spacewalk mishap led to an historic meeting between extraterrestrials and mankind at this northwestern landmark last week. Apparently, grease guns weren’t the only items in the bag that accidentally got away from astronaut Heidemarie Stephanyshyn-Piper during a recent repair mission outside the International Space Station. The aliens recovered the backpack-like container and upon discovering a copy of Vindy’s Week 13 picks (which the Endeavour crewmember hoped to peruse during a mid-spacewalk break) inside, made a bee-line for Earth in hopes of placing a few wagers. The alien craft hovered over the mesa-like rock formation for which the town is named and attempted to communicate with local inhabitants through a repetitive sequence of tones and percussion sounds that bore an uncanny resemblance to the Sportscenter theme. Eventually emerging from the mother ship, the other-worldly creatures made their peaceful intentions known through telepathy, and though quickly returned the lost toolbag and grease guns, the visitors would not part with the college pigskin prognostication!

After Week 13's tally of 5-7-1 (114-109-3, .511), befitting a puny human, it’s “ET phone homefield” to call in....

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 14 FORECAST

TUES. NOV. 25
Western Michigan over #15 BALL STATE taking 11: What is it with these early-week MAC games?! Are conference teams allergic to Thursdays and weekends or what??!! With Utah now firmly-entrenched as the automatic BCS Buster, the Redbirds are merely playing for the pride of the undefeated season and a post-season trip to Mobile, Alabama or, considering travel arrangements for fans, a cold-weather vacation in either Detroit or Toronto following its first-ever conference title match against the MAC East winner. Ball State has taken three of last four outright from Western Michigan, including 5OT 60-57 game just four seasons ago. Broncos sporting a nine-win record, including a neutral-site triumph over Illinois, have grabbed some Top 25 votes the past few weeks and could conceivably head into the bowls with a ranking if they can pick up their 10th win of the season (after totaling just 13 combined wins the previous two years). WMU unfortunately has only one SU victory in its last three tries against teams with winning records. It does, however, have six covers in its last eight lined affairs (4 of 6 away from Waldo Stadium). Given a passing game that’s produced 33 touchdowns against only 6 interceptions and 11 sacks, Broncos can hang offensively with Ball State, but it may be the defense that keeps ‘em in this one. Broncos have allowed only two opponents more than 28 points (not bad by MAC standards). State had beaten every foe this season by at least 12 until last week. Birds looked a little vulnerable, snagging a red zone INT in the final minute vs. the Chippewas to hang on. And since this isn’t a designated “rivalry” game and BSU obviously isn’t part of the directional-Michigans triumvirate, there’s no real motivation to run-up a score...Ball State 35 Western Michigan 27 (Birds made this prognosticator look like an idiot again, whacking WMU by 23 last night!)

THURS. NOV. 26
Texas A&M over #4 TEXAS taking 35: As we celebrate the annual holiday, we’re simply thankful there’s only one ranked game on this Thursday! Steers are fourth in the AP, but first runners-up in the poll that counts after being idle last week and still need some help from Oklahoma State to keep the Sooners from jumping them. Each of the last four games between these two have been decided by less than 10 points and the Aggies won 38-30 in 2007, but lost this year by 28 at Oklahoma State, 38 vs. Oklahoma and 20 at Baylor. A&M has scored at least 21 in all but opening 18-14 loss to Arkansas State...Longhorns 52 Aggies 24

FRI. NOV. 27
#9 BOISE STATE over Fresno State giving 21: Broncos were one of only two favorites backed by your narrator last week and rewarded the famous forecaster, barely, with one of only five dubyas. Broncos tossed three picks (two of which went for Wolfpack scores) in the 3rd quarter to let Reno back in the game or it would’ve been another blowout victory. Gotta’ figure BSU to be relegated to hosting the Humanitarian Bowl (again!), while Bulldogs simply look to close out a disappointing regular season that was expected to be a BCS run. FSU has seven wins, but picked up its first spread victory since season opener last week. Fresno has a lone cover in past seven games against the Broncos...Boise 48 FSU West 21

Mississippi State over #25 MISSISSIPPI taking 14: Kudos to first-year Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt for taking a squad that went 3-9 in 2007 and recording seven wins (and counting!), including victories over Florida and LSU, while losing by just 4 at now-#1 Alabama. State’s just 1-3 ATS as a road dog coming into this one after going 8-3-1 in that role the previous two seasons and shows a mere 2-6-1 ATS in last 9 Egg Bowl bouts. Bulldogs are home for the holidays regardless of this outcome, but could’ve gone bowling had they not suffered one-point losses to Auburn and Kentucky. State accounted for Vindy’s only “best bet” loss last week, beating Arkansas by 3 after spotting the Pigs a two-touchdown lead in the 1st Quarter and has thwarted the Weber Kid three times in four tries besides that one... Ole Miss 20 MSU 10

SAT. NOV. 28
#1 ALABAMA over Auburn giving 14: War eagles have taken the Iron Bowl six straight years and could take the sting out of their first bowl-less year in nine seasons with a victory. Only two of Auburn’s defeats this year were by more than five points. Make it three...Tide 23 Auburn 6

#2 Florida over #23 FLORIDA STATE giving 16 1/2: Line must be based on historical results from games played in Tallahassee (covered by the Injuns in five of last six here) because this year, Gators are leaving little doubt about their national title game worthiness by hammering SEC opponents and out-of-conference foes by an average margin of 23 points (BTW, we think Florida’s 10th TD vs. Citadel was caught by the UF team physician, who was open way downfield!). ‘Noles need a cover here or in a bowl to continue three-season streak of exactly six spread wins...Gators 38 Florida State 17

#3 Oklahoma over #11 OKLAHOMA STATE giving 7: Until being manhandled by Texas Tech, Cowpokes’ road record would support taking the points, especially in light of improvements on both sides of the ball this season, but State lost by 36 to the Raiders, who lost by 41 to Oklahoma. No, the final margin here won’t be 77, but gotta’ figure it’s bigger than this line. Cowboys haven’t beaten the Sooners since the turn of the new Millennium, but have losses in Stillwater since then by just 6 and 3. First true road challenge for Oklahoma...Sooners 38 Cowboys 24

#5 USC over Notre Dame giving 30 1/2: The Vatican forgave John Lennon this week for comments a few decades ago about the Beatles exceeding the popularity of Jesus, but insiders say absolution for Notre Dame’s loss to Syracuse ain’t happenin’! Adding to the irony of the timing of that pardon is the presence of a freshman QB on the roster named...Crist!...Troy Boys 52 Leprechauns 10

#6 Penn State: IDLE (next...da’ Rose Bowl)

#7 TEXAS TECH over Baylor giving 20: Following public humiliation by the Sooners, in which Tech allowed not one, but TWO 100-yard rushers, at a clip of over five yards per carry, Raiders could come out unfocused and flat after falling from the AP two-hole, but frankly, we think they’ll just be mad. Bares are 4-3 ATS facing conference teams this year, but lost by 24 at Texas and 32 to Oklahoma. Tech no bargain laying points at home, going just 1-2 in ‘08 and only 9-7 the previous four years. Best guess for “wish I had it back”, but... Guns Up (we mean it this time!) 51 Baylor 27

#8 Utah: IDLE (next...da’ Bowls!)

#10 Ohio State: IDLE (next...da’ Bowls!)

Kansas over #12 Missouri (@ Kansas City, MO) taking 14: Potential upset. Tigers have covered the line in 6 of last 8 neutral site games and won this tilt outright last year (also on a neutral site) by just 8. Have to go back to 2004 to find last time Jayhawks dropped three straight ATS in November and Kansas lost by just 14 in Norman earlier. If the defense plays well, the Birds can win this straight up...Mizzou 31 Maybe We Kansas 28

#18 Georgia Tech over #13 GEORGIA taking 8 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. UPSET SPECIAL. Bees whacked Miami to take the Coastal Division lead, but can only watch the rest of the ACC games play out and hope they get to the conference title game for a possible BCS berth. ‘Jackets used a monster running game to get to this point and the voice in Vindy’s head is screamin’ “upset” again. Wreck’s last defeat of in-state rivals came in 2000 (between the hedges, no less). Couldn’t pull the trigger on the Kansas-Mizzou game, but we’ll do it here. In OT... Bees 19 ‘Dawgs 16

#14 TCU: IDLE (next...da’ Bowls!)

#16 CINCINNATI over Syracuse giving 22: Congrats to the Orange for extending the length of Sunday’s South Bend confession session with a late rally to post their third outright win on the season. And now back to our regularly-scheduled reality TV. ‘Cuse is probably good for a ten-spot and Bearkats haven’t wandered into the 30's since first week of October. They’ll do so here, wrapping up the Big Ceased conference and the commensurate Orange Bowl bid...Cincy 38 Syracuse 10

#17 OREGON STATE over #19 Oregon giving 3 ½: As good as the Mallards have been, the Beavers have pocketed the last two outright and 4 of last 5 ATS against them. State uses its air attack and enough defense to chug into Rose Bowl rematch of early-September disaster in Happy Valley...OSU 38 Decoys 28

#20 BYU: IDLE (next...da’ Bowls!)

Maryland over #21 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 7: Taking da’ points in ACC match-ups the past two weeks has been a lucrative strategy, with the conference dog winning and covering 4 of the 5 games appearing in Vindy’s forecast. Terps will have to do a better job protecting the ball, however, since BC is +15 this season in turnovers and four giveaways did the Box Turtles in last week during 37-3 loss the ‘Noles...Eagles 20 Maryland 16

#22 Michigan State: IDLE (next...da’ Bowls!)

#24 Northwestern: IDLE (next...da’ Bowls!)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, the space travelers offered up 126, 500 Druzpheks (roughly equivalent to 24 U.S. dollars) and a handful of shiny, but dangerous alien trinkets to buy Manhattan....uh...the university, not the island! The folks in Wyoming politely turned down the bid, but did invite their guests to hang around long enough to watch the Longhorns host the Aggies and the annual Thanksgiving Day NFL fare!

$100, 000 for a toolbag???!!! Who’s makin’ these things for NASA... Gucci???!!! Heidemarie coulda’ got herself a nice one with her favorite team logo on it just for buyin’ a subscription to Sports Illustrated!

Even the pontiff is calling for Charlie Weis’ resignation! (And hey....the Fab Four never lost to the Orange layin’ almost three touchdowns!). There’s no snow in L.A., but Irish “fans” making the flight to the game this week are said to be checking coolers full of snowballs!

Just hours before we posted this week’s picks on the blog, Florida State had two more players hauled off to the hooskow on battery charges. FSU may or may not win the ACC, but they’ll lead the conference in all-perpetrator yards!

Among the pardons granted by President Bush this week....Bill Belichick (Sorry, still no slack for Notre Dame!). In fact, ya know those infamous Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton tapes......??!!!

Black Shirt: Goes to Wazzou kicker Nico Grasu for booting two of his three field goals on the day in OT (with the other coming as time expired in regulation to get there!) of last week’s Scrapple Cup melee to give the Cougars at least twice as many wins as their rivals at UDUB will record this season, regardless of the results of their respective finales this week!

“Locked in a Box?”:The Beavers used a late FG to beat Arizona outright and raise the lock record to 11-2 (.846), besting Vindy’s previous high of 10 lock wins in each of the past two seasons!

Shoppe Talk: Red Raiders bombed again vs. Oklahoma to fall to 1-8, while the Mormons rolled over in the second vs. Utah to go 2-8!

Vindy’s Week 14 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 35-23-1 (.603)
Nevada-Reno -4 over LOUISIANA TECH, NC STATE +1 1/2 over Miami, RICE +3 over Houston, Tulsa -14 over MARSHALL, Florida International +5 over FLORIDA ATLANTIC

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2008 Early Edition

2008-11-24T19:02:00.000-08:00

With yet another Tuesday night game interrupting Vindicator's usual forecast workflow, we're announcing our early-week selection....

TUES. NOV. 25
Western Michigan over #15 BALL STATE taking 11: What is it with these early-week MAC games?! Are conference teams allergic to Thursdays and weekends or what??!!! With Utah now firmly-entrenched as the automatic BCS Buster, the Redbirds are merely playing for the pride of the undefeated season and a post-season trip to Mobile, Alabama or, considering travel arrangements for fans, a cold-weather vacation in either Detroit or Toronto following its first-ever conference title match against the MAC East winner. Ball State has taken three of last four outright from Western Michigan, including 5OT 60-57 game just four seasons ago. Broncos sporting a nine-win record, including a neutral-site triumph over Illinois, have grabbed some Top 25 votes the past few weeks and could conceivably head into the bowls with a ranking if they can pick up their 10th win of the season (after totaling just 13 combined wins the previous two years). WMU unfortunately has only one SU victory in its last three tries against teams with winning records. It does, however, have six covers in its last eight lined affairs (4 of 6 away from Waldo Stadium). Given a passing game that’s produced 33 touchdowns against only 6 interceptions and 11 sacks, Broncos can hang offensively with Ball State, but it may be the defense that keeps ‘em in this one. Broncos have allowed only two opponents more than 28 points (not bad by MAC standards). State had beaten every foe this season by at least 12 until last week. Birds looked a little vulnerable, snagging a red zone INT in the final minute vs. the Chippewas to hang on. And since this isn’t a designated “rivalry” game and BSU obviously isn’t part of the directional-Michigans triumvirate, there’s no real motivation to run-up a score...Ball State 35 Western Michigan 27

We'll be back in our usual time-slot on Wednesday night with the remainder of the Thanksgiving weekend fare! Stay tuned!

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2008

2008-11-18T20:48:00.000-08:00

STATION PULLS “TREK” ON EVE OF RIVALRY WEEKEND

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (AP)...Local Sin City TV station KVBC will yank classic Star Trek episode “The Trouble With Tribbles” to spite the Vegas Vindicator just a day before the college football season’s “rivalry weekend” commences. Local bookies want to give no comfort to the Weber Kid and refused to broadcast the famous forecaster’s favorite episode of the cult classic. A similar strategy by a Green Bay station to deny Giants QB Eli Manning the opportunity to view his fave episode of Seinfeld prior to last season’s NFC Championship game blew up in its collective face as New York upset the Packers and went on to win Super Bowl 42. But just as the cast and crew of the popular sitcom hurried to the aid of the NY triggerman by sending him the entire season’s worth of the series on tape, so too rallied Roddenberry Enterprises, which mailed Vindy its whole series on Beta-Max. As Trekkies nationwide rushed to Vindicator’s cause, even Boston Legal star and Priceline Negotiator William Shatner came to the rescue, providing an autographed photon torpedo to the beleaguered seer. Paparazzi trailing Vindy noted a “boot” on his foot...the result of Weber injuring his plant-foot while trying to impress Captain Kirk by flashing the famous “Live long and prosper” sign... with his toes!

Still basking in the glow of his 12-6-1Week Twelve results (109-102-2, .516) , our hero sets his parlay card to “stun” and, boldly going where no bettor has gone before, orders Scottie to “Energize”....beaming down....

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 13 FORECAST

WED. NOV. 19
#14 Ball State over CENTRAL MICHIGAN giving 7: Chippies wasted a late 24-point lead, but beat Northern Illinois in OT last week. CMU has won four straight against the Birds, covering three of them, including last year’s 58-38 romp. Chippewas on a six-game SU win streak, including a victory at Indiana. Nonetheless, we’ll take the stronger offense (and better defense) of Ball State, who oddly turned it over to the stoppers, up just 15 points with about ten minutes left at Miami-O...BSU 38 Central Michigan 27

THURS. NOV. 20
#23 Miami over GEORGIA TECH taking 4: Hurricanes’ first visit to the Top 25 in two years is probably gonna’ be a short one. Bees had last week off and have covered 3 of last four vs. Miami. Pelicans doing it on defense throughout their five-game win streak, allowing an average of 11 ppg to everybody except Duke (which scored 31 in Durham). Updating a preseason stat from The Sporting News... Miami QBs have now tossed 102 TD passes and 86 INTs last six years! Tech’s triple-option plus Miami’s defense equals...field-goal fest...Joja’ Tech 19 ‘Canes 16

SAT. NOV. 22
#1 Alabama: IDLE (next vs. Auburn)

#2 Texas Tech over #5 OKLAHOMA taking 6 1/2: Sooners coverage teams yielded 261 kickoff return yards to Texas A&M. No harm, no foul vs. the Aggies offense, but giving that kind of field-position to the Red Raiders could be a huge problem. Hey, what’s the worst Tech can do...hang a forecast loss on your humble host???!!!...Guns Up 35 Oklahoma 31

Citadel @ #3 FLORIDA: No line.

#4 Texas: IDLE (next vs. A&M 11/27)

#6 USC: IDLE (next vs. Notre Dame)

#17 Michigan State over #7 PENN STATE taking 14: Spartans are 1-4-2 in last 7 as road dogs, but haven’t lost by this many since 2004. Lions had their week to mope over defeat by the Iowa !@%#@!!! Hawkeyes (Oh sorry...is Vindy’s anger over a small insignificant win vs. the Nitwit Lions two weeks ago showing again??!!) and loss of national title shot. PSU was sloppy and unfocused on offense, yielding three turnovers in blown cover against Indiana. Back to business with Rose Bowl berth on the line. Spartans Javon Ringer will get his yards, but if MSU mounts a passing game, Pasadena could be gone too...Not-As-Happy-As-It-Could-Be Valley 24 Sparty 17

#16 Brigham Young over #8 UTAH taking 6 1/2: Overrated Cougars coulda’ lost to UDUB, UNLV and Colorado State, but only blemish was blowout at TCU. Utes were nearly as bad this season, squeaking by Oregon State, New Mexico and the aforementioned Frogs, each by 3 points, but two of those three will go to nice post-season venues. BYU won 17-10 last year and gets first dog role in last 21 games, including post-season bouts. No choice but to grab the points...Utah 17 BYU 13

#9 Boise State over UNR giving 6: No question, Wolfpack QB Kaepernick and the Pistol offense have momentum, but Reno’s been spanked by the better teams it has gone against this year, while the Broncos have beaten Oregon, Bowling Green and Southern Miss...BSU 45 UNR 35

Michigan over #10 OHIO STATE taking 20 1/2: Big Blew misses the post-season for the first time in 34 seasons, so the question is...will the Wolverines join the fray in earnest vs. the big rival or will UM players be surfing the ‘Net at DitchRich.Com during halftime?! Michigan is 1-3 ATS in last 4 vs. the Buckeyes and State has taken last four outright, but the final margins have been well-within this number. After losses to Illinois and Penn State by 25 and 29 respectively, Wolverines showed a little life in losses to Purdue and Northwestern by 6 and 7, respectively (sandwiched around 23-point win at Minnesota)...Buckeyes 33 Michigan 14

#11 Oklahoma State: IDLE (next vs. Oklahoma)

#12 Missouri: IDLE (next vs. Kansas)

#13 Georgia: IDLE (next vs. Georgia Tech)

Air Force over #15 TCU taking 18: Flyboys actually led the Mormons by 4 at the half last week before disastrous 3rd Quarter and have the ball-control offense to make this a quick game. Frogs off a week of rest, have covered 13 of last 17 spotting points in Ft. Worth and haven’t suffered consecutive spread losses all year...TCU 20 Pilots 10

Mississippi over #18 LSU taking 5: Baton Rouge ain’t what it used to be for the Bengals. Tigers have a great, big goose-egg in the home spread-win column and are a 30-point 4th Quarter rally last week vs. a Sun Belt team away from a mere 4-3 SU home record. Rebels could actually take this outright with a few breaks. LSU now 8-23-4 vs. other SEC squads. The Weber Kid has picked the Bengals correctly in five of seven tries this seasons...LSU 20 Ole Miss 17

#20 Pittsburgh over #19 CINCINNATI taking 5: If the Tech-Oklahoma game becomes a rout in either direction, this one is potentially the best game of the week. Rested Panthers have gone 7-1 straight up since opening loss to Bowling Green and have scored at least 21 in each of those tilts. Bearkats have been kind to this forecaster, going 4-0 in four appearances in the weekly picks, but just played a couple of hard-fought games...Cincinnati 17 Pitt 16

#21 Oregon State over ARIZONA taking 3: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Beavers steaming toward Rose Bowl rematch vs. Penn State if they can win out. Last week’s 10-point loss by Arizona at Oregon wasn’t nearly that close as the ‘Cats scored three touchdowns late against the Ducks scrubs. AZ held the ball more than 40 minutes, but still yielded over 500 yards of offense to the Mallards. UA is 3-0 ATS this year as home chalk, but those wins came vs. Idaho, Toledo and UDUB...Oregon State 30 Wildcats 20

Florida State over #22 MARYLAND taking 1: ‘Noles should be getting back their five wideouts, who were suspended for Boston College game. State hasn’t won outright in College Park since 2002, but ranked ACC teams have struggled in recent weeks. Terps played “keep away” vs. the Tarheels long enough to boot the winning field goal last week...Injuns 23 Box Turtles 19

#24 Oregon: IDLE (next @ Oregon State)

North Carolina State over #25 NORTH CAROLINA taking 11: Wolfpack seems to be getting a better grip on second-year coach Tom O’Brien’s schemes, covering 6 of its last 7 games to-date and riding two-game SU win streak. Not expecting an upset here, but we like the double-digits in a rivalry game...Tarheels 28 NCSU 24

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, before transporting your host to the surface, Mr. Scott neglected to mention that without the di-lithium crystals in 3 days, 4 hours and 17 minutes, Vindy’s Picks were all going to die anyway!

The Golden Gophers host the Iowa !@&$*#@!! Hawkeyes (Damn! Sorry...there we go AGAIN!). In the annual battle for the Floyd of Rosedale bronze pig trophy. No word yet on whether a certain former-VP hopeful will be on-hand to apply a bit of lipstick (we heard her schedule’s been freed up recently though!).

Back in February, the Wheeling (West Va.) Wheelers minor league hockey team held a “Shred Rich Rodriguez” promo, providing discount tickets to fans bringing pics or news articles of former WVU football coach. Vindy’s willing to return the tickets and painstakingly tape or glue the shredded photo strips back together if Wolverines manage the cover vs. Ohio State this week!

The Steelers beat the Chargers this past weekend by a first-ever final score of 11-10. Big deal. Bettors wanting to wager on any individual team against the spread see that number everyday in the sportsbook!

Donovan McNabb fessed up this week he didn’t know NFL games could end in ties...but added that although he struggles with the Windsor knot, he’d be sure to keep plenty of the stylish neckwear on the sidelines each week just in case. Vindy had half a mind (had?) to tell the Eagles quarterback that games still undecided after the first OT period actually go to penalty kicks!

Now on the playlist for PA operators at stadiums everywhere across the country (or at least in the blue states) ...”We Will Barack You!”

A professional Japanese baseball league just drafted its first-ever female player... Eri Yoshida. The diminutive 16-year-old knucklerballer aspires to be like BoSox hurler Tim Wakefield. Speaking on condition of anonymity, a couple of Big Tim’s teammates admitted he “does throw like a girl!”

Black Shirt: Goes to Ohio State cornerback Malcolm Jenkins for scoring a 1st Quarter safety, allowing the Buckeyes to give Vindy a push rather than a loss vs. the Illini last week!

“Locked in a Box?”: It didn’t happen until late in the game, but the Cincy Bearkats helped Vindy bust a Friday night slide and covered nicely in win over Louisville, raising the lock tally to 10-2 (.833)!

Shoppe Talk: Texas Tech was off, but the Mormons of BYU (2-7) continue to confound Vindicator!

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 32-22-1 (.592)
NORTHWESTERN +2 ½ over Illinois, Arkansas +1 over Mississippi STATE, OHIO +3 over Akron, Colorado State -2 ½ over WYOMING

Vindy's Picks week 12-2008 Regular Edition

2008-11-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

CAPITOL SWAP-OUT TO IMPACT COLLEGE SPORTS

WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (AP)....A White House transition meeting this week between outbound President Bush and President-Elect Barack Obama will include discussion of resolution of the failing U.S. economy, withdrawal of American troops from Iraq and implementation of a college football playoff for the Football Bowl Subdivision. Not enamored with the current BCS system, Obama hinted he could employ an executive order to bring about the playoff. Speaker of “This is Our House” Nancy Pelosi vowed to help the new Commander-in-Chief reach across conference lines, in particular, to the Big Ten and PAC-10, to achieve the new post-season format. Meanwhile, gun enthusiasts were stocking up, fearing tougher gun laws with the Democratic president and party in power. In fact, team mascots’ weapons-of-choice in college towns such as Lubbock, Laramie and Knoxville are expected to now be Louisville sluggers and light sabers!

Opening 0-3 through Friday’s games and losing picks like U.S Airways loses luggage (2-10 thru the first dozen finals), Vindicator rallied, going 6-2 down the Saturday night stretch and salvaged a final result of 8-12 (97-96-1, .502). With the crystal ball having followed the HD-ready TV out the second story window in the closing seconds of the Penn State game, the Sin City Soothsayer busts out his toolbox and grabs a dartboard, Magic 8-Ball and Aunty Entity ‘s wheel from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome to bring his loyal readers...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 12 FORECAST

TUES. NOV. 11
#14 Ball State over MIAMI-OHIO giving 17 1/2: Vindy’s still picking pieces of his Michael Jordan -autographed Hanes out of a deep, dark place following the atomic wedgie he got for picking Northern Illinois to upset Ball State last week, as the Cards ripped the MAC’s premiere defensive team for 45 points while suffering zero turnovers and a like number of flags, and serving up four passing touchdowns to four different receivers. Cardinals are now 7-1 against the spread on the year and still undefeated, but 1-3 ATS the past 4 vs. Miami-Ohio, including last season’s opening 14-13 loss (despite a +2 turnover margin). BSU has won and covered all four road games in ‘08 and updating a stat from Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com, is now 8-1 ATS in the first of back-to-back road games (covering at Akron and Toledo earlier) and looks to go 9-1 in that role with away trip to Central Michigan following this one. Redhawks lost to Buffalo by 20 points despite punting only twice in that game. Miami-O did manage to bottle up a strong Bowling Green offense a few weeks ago to get a nice road win, but are on a 2-4 ATS slide and have already equaled last year’s SU loss total and need to cover this one and remaining two games to improve on the spread record from last season. Redhawks currently minus-10 in turnover ratio and opponents are scoring at better than 91% clip inside the red zone, while averaging only 16 ppg themselves against I-A foes. Miami has yet to cover a home game this season, losing by 21, 18 and 27 points. State still has a remote shot at a BCS bowl should Utah and Boise State falter and will keep pedal-to-metal for now...Ball State 49 Miami-O 17 (This one’s already in the books as a forecast loss as BSU quit pressing with ten minutes left and only won by 15).

FRI. NOV. 14
#22 Cincinnati over LOUISVILLE giving 3 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Vindy’s 6-13picking weekday games this season, including 0-3 on Friday nights, so consider yourselves advised, but we have a few Euros on this one. Bearkats nearly wasted a 13-point advantage in the final minute of the OT upset over West Virginia, but until the defeat a few weeks ago at UConn, Cincy’s only SU loss was at Oklahoma. Redbirds have won this one straight-up five years running and have taken the money in five of last seven against ranked teams...UC 23 Birds 10

SAT. NOV. 15
Mississippi State over #1 ALABAMA taking 19 ½: Bulldogs have beaten ‘Bama outright two of the last three and nearly took out Kentucky two weeks ago. State’s on an 0-3 spread run this year, but rewarded bettors 10 of last 13 vs. the Tide. Alabama’s finding its offense more lately, but it was still an interception-return for touchdown that turned around a 14-7 first-half hole at LSU, and Tide kicker missed a pair of field goals as well...’Bama 20 MSU 7

#2 Texas Tech: IDLE (Yeah...and we’re freakin’ crushed about that too!) (next @ Oklahoma)

#3 FLORIDA over #24 South Carolina giving 21: Carolina’s only SU loss in its last seven games was by a touchdown to LSU. The Poultry has gone 5-1-1 in last 7 vs. ranked squads and are on 4-1 spread run. Four of last six in this series were decided by 8 or fewer points, but Gators won by 20 last year. ‘Cocks have recently lost a third player to a bizarre series of scooter injuries. “Scooter” injuries?! Apparently, the automobile has not yet been invented in Columbia, but we have it on good authority that Ford plants in South Carolina will soon be rolling the Model-T off the assembly lines! Just Citadel on-deck for UF, so no need to yank the starters early...Florida 45 Nuggets 20

#4 Texas over KANSAS giving 13: We considered this for lock. Kansas seemingly never fully-recovered from loss at South Florida, in which it had the Bulls on the ropes early. Still, the Fightin’ Manginos are 3-3 ATS vs. the rest of the Big 12 and 15-7 ATS against conference opponents the past three seasons. ‘Horns have dropped three straight against the line (with a commensurate 0-3 forecast tally), but are still in the BCS title game competition. Kansas already has six victories, but has lost three of last four, yielding 45 points or more in the defeats. We like the ‘Horns to end the spread slide and avoid being the guests-of-honor at an upcoming Bobby Flay throw-down event on the Food Network at Vindy’s request this week...Steers 38 Birds 16

#5 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. Texas Tech)

STANFORD over #6 Southern Cal taking 22 1/2: The line movement in favor of the Trojans suggests USC will run it up in retribution for last season’s huge upset by Stanford, who got better than 40 points and reflects Troy D that’s been lights-out of late. Problem is that the Trees bring back the highest number of returning starters in over a decade and have been competitive in every game except loss at Arizona State, including a win over Oregon State team that would beat USC a few weeks later. No repeat for the Cardinal, but...USC 31 Stanford 13

#7 PENN STATE over Indiana giving 34: ***CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED*** **CENSORED***...Nitwit Lions 49 Hoosiers 10

#8 Utah over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 28 1/2: Horned Frogs kicker missed two medium-range field goals in the 4th Quarter in a 4-point loss vs. the Utes last week???!!! Check’s in the mail! Nonetheless, Utes need to maintain focus and some style points wouldn’t hurt the effort to keep Boise State at bay in the BCS Buster race. SDSU is just a shadow of the team that lost 23-7 last year at Salt Lake, averaging a mere 9 ppg...Utah 41 Razz-Tecs 6

#9 Boise State over IDAHO giving 34 1/2: Generally stalwart at home when it comes to covering the line, Broncos have also gone 4-0 ATS on the asphalt this season. Last week’s win (and cover) vs. Utah State featured a total of nine turnovers and a combined 237 penalty yards! Idaho on 3-1 spread run, but gave up 45 to San Diego State and lost by 32 at Weeziana Tech. Vandals have already doubled last season’s SU win total (1). Idaho is fairly adept at protecting the football (just 8 TO on the year). That won’t matter here...BSU 51 Idaho 9

#10 Ohio State over ILLINOIS giving 10: Vin watched three quarters of Buckeyes game at Northwestern before turning it off in disgust, as the Wildcats shot themselves repeatedly in the paw with poor tackling and allowing conversion of 3rd-and-holy crap! (BTW, an announcer in that game, after watching freshman QB Terrell Pryor scramble for a big gain, inadvertently said, “Ya can’t coach that. You can only hope to contain it!”. Frankly, if I’m coachin’ the young man...I don’t wanna’ contain him!). State hasn’t covered back-to-back games all season. Illini won 28-21 in 2007 over then-top-ranked OSU. Both teams on interesting spread win-loss-win-loss pattern. Gut reaction was to take State. Fine...Buckeyes 23 Illini 10

#11 Oklahoma State over COLORADO giving 17: Just too many offensive weapons for CU to handle, even in the thinner, colder air. Referencing an earlier “note to self”, we enthusiastically scribe...Do not back the Buffaloes! Do not back the Buffaloes! Do not back the Buffaloes!...Cowpokes 51 Bison 20

#12 Missouri over IOWA STATE giving 26 1/2: A victory sends the Tigers to the Big 12 championship game. State actually won the last meeting (here in ‘06) 21-16. Tigers on 1-4 ATS slide, but if Chase Daniel can quit piling up interceptions, they can cover. An unidentified Cyclones player was overheard quoting a line from the movie “300": “Tonight...we play football...in Hell!”...Mizzou 48 Dust Devils 20

AUBURN over #13 Georgia taking 8: War Eagles haven’t beaten the line since season-opener over Weeziana-Monroe and haven’t recorded an outright triumph since 2-point squeaker in September over now-invisible Tennessee. Still, Aubie can extend its season into December with an upset here or against hated-rival Alabama. Kentucky almost toppled the ‘Dawgs by holding onto the ball nearly 10 more minutes than Joja’. Tigers capable of doing likewise ... Georgia 13 Auburn 8

#15 TCU: IDLE (next vs. Air Force)

AIR FORCE over #16 Brigham Young taking 4: Mormons have dropped six straight against the line and squeakers over UDUB, UNLV and Colorado State give USAF hope that they can win this outright as the Flyboys continue to far-exceed preseason expectations. The Falcons have arranged for Prince William to land his chopper, unannounced, in the middle of the BYU huddle if the game does get outta’ hand!...Pilots 17 Coogs 16

#17 North Carolina over MARYLAND giving 2 1/2: This grabbed initial thoughts for lock too. Even without the 14 points scored off Georgia Tech turnovers, ‘Heels still would’ve beaten the Bees 14-7. UNC is outscoring opponents by an average of 12 ppg, Maryland by just 2 ppg. In a common-foe comparison, North Carolina lost at Virginia 16-13 in extra innings, while the Box Turtles lost in Charlottesville 31-zippo. During a tour of his soon-to-be new digs at the White House this week, Obama discovered a secret garden, a hidden basketball court and a tunnel that leads to the middle of the Terrapins locker room in case of nuclear war!...Carolina 27 Terps 20

#18 Michigan State: IDLE (next @ Penn State)

Troy over #19 LSU taking 19 1/2: We originally had LSU “idle” this week, but this is one’s a make-up of earlier season match postponed by the hurricane. Bengals just fighting to stay ranked at this point and could be flat initially after blowing chance to beat the nation’s #1 team last week. Troy won’t be intimidated by the atmosphere, having lost in Baton Rouge just 24-20 a few seasons back. This is, however, Troy’s seventh road game (though it covered five of the previous six, including game at Ohio State)... Bengals 24 Troy 7

Boston College over #20 FLORIDA STATE taking 7: No confidence in this one as we changed our initial pick a couple times before settling on BC. Eagles have allowed the fewest points of any ACC team (three shutouts over Kent State, Rhode Island and the Frightenin’ Irish will do that!). A victory here would still leave BC a game behind the Injuns in the Atlantic Division. Seminoles tied atop that division and need a win here and a loss by Wake Forest to these same Eagles next week...FSU 24 BC 19

#21 Pittsburgh: IDLE (next @ Cincinnati)

#23 OREGON STATE over California giving 3: Should be a great game. Bears lone FG was enough to cover last week vs. USC and Cal was still in the game until late. Beavers have already beaten the Trojans and only Penn State has kept OSU below 27 points. Not too shabby for a team that returned only 10 starters from 2007. BTW, budget crunches have led the Governator to mandate State employees of California to take a day off each month without pay...and teams within the Cal-State University system to give up a pair of bye weeks each season!...Beavers 17 Bears 13

HOUSTON over #25 Tulsa taking 5 1/2: Hurricane just 2-2 ATS in its last four and only SU loss was at Arkansas just before last week’s bye. Cougars’ D remains a problem and UH needs one more “W” to go bowlin’. They’ve got a better shot to get that victory hosting UTEP next week, but we think they’ll keep this one fun long enough. Track meet...Tulsa 52 Houston 49

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
The Weber Kid’s Week 11 upset picks, Northern Illinois and Northwestern, got their collective ass handed to them by Ball State and Ohio State, respectively to the tune of 90-24! OUCH!

As we welcome the start of the new college basketball season, Vindy recalls Maryland’s #4 women’s hoops team beating #12 Duke in February’s rematch of the 2006 National Championship game (also won by MD in OT) just hours after Terps coach Brenda Frese gave birth to twin boys. The Box Turtles were so excited that a couple of players climbed a ladder in Frese’s hospital room to cut down the umbilical cords!

There has been much speculation since the election regarding what’s next for Sarah Palin. We think the winsome Alaskan governor takes advantage of her background to spend some time on TV and hosts a show in which beauty pageant contestants lace up the skates and strut their stuff in the neutral zone and between the pipes....“Miss America: Reality Hip-Check!”

Just a thought for Mrs. Palin’s potential presidential campaign motto in 2012...“Tip-drill, Baby, Tip-drill!”

Sarah Palin spent this weekend sorting thru clothing to be returned to the RNC after the party shelled out 150 G’s to re-do her wardrobe. Among the apparel in question were pads, helmets and a Washington Capitals jersey! Maybe she can “accidentally” include the unis for the Oregon Ducks and BYU Cougars??!!

The unclassified code names given to the members of the new first family by the Secret Service were revealed this week. The president-elect and his wife will be “Renegade” and “Renaissance”, respectively while daughters Malia and Sasha were tabbed “Radiance” and “Rosebud”. OK...which agent had the intestinal fortitude to name the youngest sister after a mysterious sled that was the plot centerpiece of the movie Citizen Kane???!! We’d like to bail the young lady out by recommending a change to something more sports-minded, like...”Raven”, “Rocket”, “Razorback”... maybe even...”Radio”! Or at least something cool or in line with her daddy’s code name, such as “Ricochet” or “Rapscallion”. While we’re on the topic, the Vice President’s family all got secret monikers starting with “C”, which means had Mrs. Palin been on the winning ticket, her code name coulda’ been...”Caribou”! (Or acknowledging that country she can see from her home ...”Comrade”).

If customers who skate for half-hour with the NHL’s Canadians while awaiting delivery of Domino’s pizza are captured on tape, could the resulting exercise video be sold as “30-Minute Habs?”

Black Shirt: Vindicator’s highly-coveted ebony tee goes this week to Kansas State WR Brandon Banks for scoring not one, but TWO touchdowns (one receiving, one rushing) in the final 1:11 of the match at Mizzou to bring in one of the Weber Kid’s eight forecast wins in Week Eleven!

“Locked in a Box?”: The Sooners dipped into the sixties to bash A&M and raise Vindicator’s bet-da’-ranch pick record to 9-2 (.818).

Shoppe Talk: Red Raiders maintain their grip on a title shot and on Vindy’s post-season “Grill-Master Supreme” “honors” at 1-7. The Mormons return at 2-6. And dropping by just to mock your putrid prognosticator...Thursday Night (4-7)!

Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 31-19-1 (.620)
Duke +11 ½ over CLEMSON, SYRACUSE +10 over UConn, NAVY +3 over Notre Dame, UTEP -10 over Southern Methodist

Vindy's Picks Week 12-2008 Special Edition

2008-11-11T10:41:00.000-08:00

With A Tuesday night game on tap and unlikely to get the whole enchilada done in time, we offer our thoughts on tonight's match...

TUES. NOV. 11
#14 Ball State over MIAMI-OHIO giving 17 1/2: Vindy’s still picking pieces of his Michael Jordan-autographed Haynes out of a deep, dark place following the atomic wedgie he got for picking Northern Illinois to upset Ball State last week, as the Cards ripped the MAC’s premiere defensive team for 45 points while suffering zero turnovers and a like number of flags, and serving up four passing touchdowns to four different receivers. Cardinals are now 7-1 against the spread on the year and still undefeated, but 1-3 ATS the past 4 vs. Miami-Ohio, including last season’s opening 14-13 loss (despite a +2 turnover margin). BSU has won and covered all four road games in ‘08 and updating a stat from Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com, is now 8-1 ATS in the first of back-to-back road games (covering at Akron and Toledo earlier) and looks to go 9-1 in that role with away trip to Central Michigan following this one. Redhawks lost to Buffalo by 20 points despite punting only twice in that game. Miami-O did manage to bottle up a strong Bowling Green offense a few weeks ago to get a nice road win, but are on a 2-4 ATS slide and have already equaled last year’s SU loss total and need to cover this one and remaining two games to improve on the spread record from last season. Redhawks currently minus-10 in turnover ratio and opponents are scoring at better than 91% clip inside the red zone, while averaging only 16 ppg themselves against I-A foes. Miami has yet to cover a home game this season, losing by 21, 18 and 27 points. State still has a remote shot at a BCS bowl should Utah and Boise State falter and will keep pedal-to-metal for now...Ball State 49 Miami-O 17

A heartfelt "Happy Veterans Day" and "Thank you!" from your humble host to all the current and former members of the military for serving your country!

The forecast will return Wednesday night in its full-blown format! Don't touch that dial!

Vindy's Picks Week 11-2008

2008-11-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

DEMS OFFER BOXING VIDEO TO BOLSTER CANDIDATE

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (CNN)....The Obama camp released an eleventh-hour video...Baracky IV, featuring its presidential contender sporting boxing gloves and trunks while reprising the Sylvester Stallone role against Red Army pugilist Ivan Drago as a way of improving Obama’s image on foreign policy, particularly in light of escalating tensions this past year between the U.S. and Russia that threaten to renew the Cold War era, including U.S. plans to establish missile shield bases in eastern Europe within striking range of the former Communist bloc. In the clip, which has become a viral hit on You Tube, the senator from Illinois is seen training “old-school” in the snow of the Russian wastelands, then going the distance against the Communist fighter, to follow-up with quotes from the Italian Stallion’s character in his post-bout diatribe, quipping, “When I got here, I guess yous didn’t like me...and I didn’t like yous much either....but if I can change...and you can change... everybody can change!” In an agreement with the City of Brotherly Love, if Obama actually wins the Keystone State, which has recently seen a World Series champion, Stanley Cup runner-up and potential BCS Title Game contestant, on Election Night 2008, a new statue, dubbed Baracky Balboa, featuring the possible president-elect raising his arms in victory, will be set-up in place of the current bronze tribute just outside the Philadelphia Art Museum!

Closer to the Left Coast, Vindicator grabbed a Thursday night dubya to open Week Ten and hung on in the face of yet another assault by teams at bottom of the Top 25 rankings to post his fourth double-digit win tally in the last five weeks, going 11-7(89-84-1, .514). And for what it’s worth, your humble host spent the night before Halloween watching Baracky Horror Picture Show, starring Tim Curry and a very young Susan Sarandon!

And the only obvious winner of this week’s BCS (Ballot Championship Series) title game between Barack Obama and John McCain is....

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 11 FORECAST

WED. NOV. 5
Northern Illinois over #16 BALL STATE taking 9: UPSET SPECIAL OF DA’ WEEK #1. Huskies have lost only two of last nine to the Cardinals and have covered 8 of last 10 lined games back to last season. NIU on 3-0 SU/2-1 ATS run. State’s off a bye week and recorded its first spread loss two weeks ago vs. Eastern Michigan. This is the inaugural battle for the Bronze Stalk trophy. Guess that’s better than Bronze Eye Stalk or Bronze Stalker!... Dogs 24 Birds 21

THURS. NOV. 6
#11 Texas Christian over #10 UTAH taking 2 1/2: Toads came into the season winning just once in last six Thursday opportunities, but whacked BYU. They got little resistance from fading UNLV and used a balanced scoring attack in that game to notch four TDs on the ground and three by air. Utes coulda’ been pre-occupied by this one in narrow win at New Mexico. Froggies get to a BCS bowl...TCU 17 Utes 13

#23 Maryland over VIRGINIA TECH taking 3: We just really want a push here. Box Turtles were idle last week and have won five of last six games straight-up. The one loss, however, was 31-0 defeat at Virginia. Tech has been nearly invincible in November, winning 14 of last 15, but is 0-3 ATS thus far in ACC play this year...Terps 24 VT 20

SAT. NOV. 8
#1 Alabama over #15 LSU giving 3: Tide’s covered all four games this season away from Tuscaloosa, including SU wins over Clemson and Joja’. Bengals on 1-5 ATS slide and could suffer third blowout loss to a high-quality team this year. Phone cards, tied to a GPS system, inserted in elephants’ collars automatically alert Kenyan rangers when the creatures get too close to village crops. State plans to use similar technology to warn QB Lee when blitzing Alabama linebackers creep up near the line of scrimmage!...Tide 27 Tigers 13

#8 Oklahoma State over #2 TEXAS TECH taking 3: History favors the host in this series, but Cowpokes nearly upended Texas and the two-hole has been a precarious place to be in the rankings again this season. Hot State now 8-0 against the number and has plenty of options running or passing. We considered this for lock, but Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe is SRO with Red Raiders..OKSU 38 Tech 34

#3 Penn State over IOWA giving 8: Hawkeyes had beaten the Lions in five straight games beginning in 2000, but lost 27-7 at Happy Valley in 2007. Iowa still needs a victory to become eligible for the post-season. Nifty Lions probably need some style points to stay close to the top in the BCS poll. Three of Iowa’s five SU wins came in September over Maine, Florida International and Iowa State. Lions haven’t shown tendency to be conservative this year when leading, so we’ll call it...Alma Mater 31 Hawkeyes 10

VANDERBILT over #4 Florida taking 23 1/2: Crocs had Joja’ by the cocktail after 45 minutes last week and are showing no quarter since loss to the Rebels, so here’s this week’s choice for “wish I had it it back”, but Boat People got off to a promising start and registered outright triumphs over Ole Miss and South Carolina. Home defeat to Duke before last week’s R&R is puzzling. Commodores have 4 covers in last 6 tries facing the Gators and other than last year’s 27-point loss in the Swamp, five of the six have ended within this number...Crocs 31 Rear Fleet 17

#5 TEXAS over Baylor giving 25 1/2: Vindy only watched the first half of Texas-Texas Tech game with ‘Horns down 22-6 at the break. Steers were victimized by poor execution early, allowing a safety on the UT first play from scrimmage, dropping passes and fielding no 3rd Down defense vs. Red Raiders bombs. Texas could at least start flat after their rally went for naught as Tech scored the game-winner with a second left. Bares come in showing just 6-15 ATS in last 21 Big Twelve games. The coin likes...Texas 52 Baylor 26

#6 Oklahoma over TEXAS A&M giving 24: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Sooners have covered all three road games and likely should’ve beaten Texas at neutral-site Dallas. Special teams continue to improve as OK held the Huskers to a net of zippo return yards last week. Aggies showing some spirit winning back-to-back games outright and on 3-0 spread win run (and 13-7-1 ATS run vs. the rest of the conference), but needed huge 3rd quarter rally to get past the Buffaloes ... Oklahoma 52 Cadets 17

#21 California over #7 USC taking 17: Bears have pocketed four spread wins in last five games, but only road cover came at UDUB. Trojans no great shakes against the line at home, but have allowed no lit light bulbs on opponents’ side of the scoreboard in three of last four games. After 21 months, the final tree-hugger inhabiting and protecting a redwood on the Cal-Berkeley campus finally threw in the towel this September after an agreement was reached with the university. Always a team-player on environmental issues, Stanford invited the tree-sitters to take up residence in its mascot...Troy 27 Bears 19

Utah State over #9 BOISE STATE taking 31: Broncos usually solid gold for bettors when laying points on the cobalt carpet, but have covered only one of three in Boise this year. Aggies celebrating straight up victory over the ‘Bows (acquired by scoring the last ten points of the match). Boise just needs a victory to solidify BSC bowl position...Broncos 34 USU 7

NORTHWESTERN over #12 Ohio State taking 11: UPSET SPECIAL OF DA’ WEEK #2. Buckeyes have had an extra week to ponder the lone turnover that cost ‘em the game against Penn State, and while only 2-3 ATS vs. the Big Ten this season, both covers came on the road. Wildcats would love to avenge 58-7 loss last season at the ‘Shoe. NW back-up quarterback Kafka (hmmm...we gotta’ wonder if he’s related to the famous author of Metamorphosis somewhere in the family tree! [Never let it be said that Vindy doesn’t attempt to bring a little culture to his weekly scribblings!]) ran for over 200 yards in win over the Minny Gerbils. We smell upset...Northwestern 17 OSU 16

Kansas State over #13 MISSOURI taking 26: Fourth away game in five weeks for K-State, who’ve scored less than 28 points just twice all year. Chase Daniels interceptions continue to cost him, and nearly got his team upset by Baylor, who punted only three times in that game. KSU was sloppy with five turnovers early in being routed by Kansas...Mizzou 42 Wildcats 24

KENTUCKY over #14 Georgia taking 11 1/2: Just after New Year’s Day 2008, Kentucky named Offensive Coordinator Joker Phillips as eventual successor to Head Coach Rich Brooks. In related news, Joe the Plumber has been named Vindicator’s heir-apparent. Games against Florida notwithstanding, both defenses are playing reasonably well and the best call here might be the “under”. Third consecutive game outside the Hedges for Georgia. After giving up 26 sacks in last five regular season games of 2007, KY has yielded only 8 sacks thus far...Joja’ 20 ‘Cats 13

#17 BYU over San Diego State giving 36: While allowing average of 34 ppg-against is on par with State’s average from 2007, it’s giving up almost 42 per game vs. conference foes. Aztecs cost Vindy a “best bet” last week, getting smoked by Wyoming, whose only victories to-date had been by 1 over Ohio to open the year and by 3 over AA-squad North Dakota State two weeks later. A recent study suggested holding warm liquids made people more friendly toward strangers than contact with cold beverages. Aztecs might consider having mugs of cocoa (‘cause coffee ain’t gonna’ get it in a Mormon locker room) be delivered to the Coogs just before kickoff...BYU 51 Mini-Marshmallows 10

Purdue over #18 MICHIGAN STATE taking 10: Spartans probably on borrowed time in the rankings this week, having gotten a pair of long FGs in the final 5:16 to squeak by Wisconsin. Badgers had two backs rush for over 100 yards each in that game. Boilers RB Sheets went for 118 yards and four scores last week. State lost five of seven games decided by a touchdown or less last year. It’s won all three SU this year, but covered none of ‘em. Boilermakers need to win-out to be bowl-eligible. Counting on Purdue’s D to keep this close...MSU 21 Purdue 13

#22 Georgia Tech over #19 NORTH CAROLINA taking 3 1/2: Bees getting the most out of their defense, which held the Injuns scoreless for the final six minutes last week to pull the minor upset. Tech holding opponents below an average of 15 ppg. Homecoming for Carolina, who’s rested and looking to avenge 27-25 loss last season. “Heels have covered last four against Tech, but...Joja’ Tech 20 UNC 19

Cincinnati over #20 WEST VIRGINIA taking 8: Mounties on five-game tear since OT loss to the Buffaloes and have allowed no opponent more than 17 points since September 6 game at East Carolina. Bearkats have a lot of seniors on defense and have been kind to backers against ranked squads, going 8-2-1 ATS (1-1 thus year). Possible upset, but conservatively, let’s call it...WVU 20 Cincy 16

#24 FLORIDA STATE over Clemson giving 6 ½: Tigers broke a three-game skid last week, somehow beating Boston College on the road. ‘Noles let one slip away, fumbling into the end zone with under a minute left to lose to Georgia Tech. Clemson’s won and covered last three. State reverses that trend this time...Bowden Sr. 27 Bowden Jr. 17

#25 PITT over Louisville giving 6 1/2: Who are the Cardinals? They beat ranked South Florida one week, then became Syracuse’s only I-A victim of the season the next? Pitt survived a 14-point halftime deficit and four bonus rounds to down the Irish. Panthers have won 6 of last 7 outright this year, covering 3, losing 3 ATS and pushing one, but current ATS streak is 3-1. We’ll take it...Pitt 31 Redbirds 20

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, AMC is showing at least one Rocky movie each night this week! No truth to the rumor Obama will also wear a Mohawk and play the role of Clubber Lang in a remake of Rocky III!

Just before Halloween, furniture-mover Jared Retkofsky (hmmm....Jared the Mover??!!) was signed by the Steelers as a long-snapper in response to an injury that left a glaring hole in Pittsburgh’s special teams. Coaches are working feverishly to get him to stop using a dolly to move and position the ball at the line of scrimmage and to stop asking the nose-guard to hold up the other end of the football before snapping it! Jared was also seen stopping a few times to catch his breath and adjust his grip each time he walked up a stairwell carrying a pigskin inside the stadium!
Back in February, Clinton accused Obama of plagiarism. Obama again recently denied the allegations, but added he “couldn’t wait to include passages from Vindy’s Week 10forecast” in his January inauguration speech!

On a weekly basis, in the Shoppe Talk section, we lambast the clubs who most frequently frustrate our efforts to pick them on the correct side of the spread, but for those inquiring minds who want to know which teams have been regularly taking care of the Weber Kid this year, we heap praise upon: Florida (7-1), Joja’ and Penn State (both 6-1-1), Texas (7-2) and the Buckeyes (6-2)

UNLV has given thought to establishing a satellite campus in the United Arab Emirates. Can’t wait to hear the courtside announcer say...”And now...your Kurrrrrrdish Runninnnnnnn’ Rebels!”

This summer, Shaq lost his special deputy’s badge in Maricopa County (AZ) because of language he used in a rap video that mocked Kobe Bryant. The big guy also was asked to turn in the tin he received from Bedford County (southwest Virginia) for his contributions to the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. Bummer! We were hopin’ for reports indicating Deputy O’Neal had made DUI suspects walk a straight free-throw line!

According to Hillary Clinton’s schedule (released in March this year), the First Lady was home on a half-dozen days when her husband was doin’ the wild thing with intern Monica Lewinsky. Funny...Hillary was also nearby when Vin made his picks from the White House....THAT didn’t make the news!!!????

Black Shirt: goes to Northwestern safety Brendan Smith for returning a pick 48 yards with twelve ticks remaining for the winning touchdown over Minnesota, adding to Vindy’s forecast win total last week. Also getting votes... Spartans kicker Brett Swenson this week for booting two late, long field goals that allowed Michigan State to edge Wisconsin, despite the forecast loss, and stay in the Top 25 another week so maybe the Lions get one more crack at beating a ranked team before the regular season ends!

“Locked in a Box?”: We knew it was too good to last. Tulsa lost outright to Arkansas, hanging only the second lock loss of the season in ten tries on Vindicator (8-2, .800)

Shoppe Talk: Vindy discovered his own personal Kryptonite resides in Lubbock, Texas as the Red Raiders fall to 1-6. Returning to be stuffed again also are the Wisky Badgers at 1-6.

Vindy’s Week 11 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 28-17-1 (.622)
Arkansas +12 over SOUTH CAROLINA, Iowa State +10 over COLORADO, Memphis -1 over SMU, Wyoming +24 over TENNESSEE, UL-LAFAYETTE -10 over Texas-El Paso

Vindy's Picks 10-2008

2008-10-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

GOP CANDIDATE RACKING UP ICE TIME AS ELECTION NEARS

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (UPI)....What was supposed to be nothing more than a non-partisan, friendly ceremony this past Friday turned out to be yet-another Palin public appearance gone horribly wrong. As part of the ESPN travel series, called “50 Pucks in 50 Days”, Republican vice-presidential hopeful Sarah Palin has been dropping the first puck at various NHL venues across the country. But when Blues goalie Manny Legace fell after stumbling on the carpet used by Palin to get to center ice, teammate Paul Kariya skated to the aid of his net-minder, dropping his gloves along the way. Reacting to the charging Blues winger, the Alaskan governor dropped her glasses, hunting rifle and hair out of its bun as she prepared to defend herself. The politician then traded weak, off-balance blows with the 5' 10", 180-pound player before they tumbled to the ice, where the two were separated by officials. Legace started the game vs. the L.A. Kings, but would leave with a hip flexor, caused by the earlier tussle. Kariya finished the game, and Palin was treated for minor cuts and bruises in the Kings locker room and is expected to suit-up for Tuesday night’s election.

Back in Vegas, down 6-10 late in Week Nine, Vin needed to pocket all three remaining Saturday nighters and Sunday’s Tulsa-UCF game to break even. Vindy took the snap and looked for an open receiver deep. Finding none, he pulled it down and called his own number, scrambling enough to grab the final four games, salvaging a 10-10 fortnight (78-77-1, .503).

Your nifty narrator’s fresh outta’ candy, so ya better have the kiddies check their Halloween goodie-bags for Ex-Lax squares, Franken-spreads and...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 10 FORECAST
(May cause elections lasting longer than four hours. In the event of such an occurrence, immediately discontinue use of Vindy’s Picks and call your doctor)

THURS. OCT. 30
CINCINNATI over #24 South Florida taking 3: Oh goody! Another chance to open the week in the red with a Thursday-nighter! We’ve contacted the folks who publish the atlas, because, by golly, there apparently IS a Louisville, Florida! Does anyone wanna’ win the Big Least this year?! Bearkats defense has led the way for Cincy this year. Until UConn laid 40 on UC last week, opponents had averaged just 12 ppg...USF 24 Cincinnati 23

SAT. NOV. 1
#1 Texas over #6 TEXAS TECH giving 6: With minor letdown game outta’ the way vs. Oklahoma State, we feel pretty good about this choice. Cowboys had nice rushing game to compliment the passing game. Red Raiders primarily use their backfield to pass-block until Tech reaches the red zone. Raiders’ lone cover in past four vs. Texas came in a 35-31 loss at Lubbock in 2006. Tech looking for first SU win in six tries. It’s up to the Steers defense to keep this one from rivaling last year’s combined total of 102 points...Longhorns 49 Tech 41

Arkansas State over #2 ALABAMA taking 24: Coming into ‘08, Arkansas State has gone 4-1 ATS last 5 vs. ranked teams, including 2007 21-13 loss at then-#4 Texas. This game won’t help ‘Bama in the BCS polls. We’ll be really happy when the election is finally over because those McCain robocalls extolling the reasons the Crimson Tide should play in the national title game while slingin’ mud at the Nittany Lions’ strength-of-schedule are seriously annoying! ...Tide 31 ASU 13

#3 Penn State: The Lions sleep tonight (next @ Iowa)

#4 OKLAHOMA over Nebraska giving 21 1/2: Big Reddi-Whip on 3-0 spread run, including loss to Texas Tech in the bonus round, but that game “raised” the road dog ATS record to 5-10. Sooners on 12-4 home chalk run and covered both spreads this high this season. Improved Okie kick-coverage teams held K-State to net 6 yards... Sooners 51 Huskers 24

#5 Florida over #8 Georgia giving 5 ½ (@ Jax): ‘Dawgs defeated last five of last six ranked opponents (5-1 ATS), but won’t be facing a true freshman QB this week. Summing up his prediction on Gators-Wildcats game last week (won 63-5 by UF), we offer this commercial: “Beeeeeeep. Hi. This is Vindy’s phone. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have AT&T, so he’s got zippo bars in this offshore Carribean sportsbook. So thanks for those persistent calls you made to tell him about the Wildcats losing their top wideout and starting running back while both were suiting up in the locker room, but “smart guy” here is about to drop a mortgage payment on Kentucky plus da’ points!”...Crocs 24 Joja’ 17

#7 USC over Washington giving 43: UDUB ain’t quite as bad in the points-against department as in-state rival Wazzou, but failure to score until 2:59 left in the game vs. the Frightenin’ Irish prompted the administration to announce Coach Willingham’s departure at the end of this season. Trojans D could put a third shutout in four games in Sunday’s box score. Foliage in the Evergreen State’s lookin’ mighty black-and-blew these days...Troy 52 Sled Dogs 3

#9 OKLAHOMA STATE over Iowa State giving 30: For tilts in Ames, the Cyclones enter the field by running through a cloud of smoke. Preceding the Nebraska game, one of the ISU players rushed headlong into a goal post. OK, who was the Einstein that let Dolphins RB Ricky Williams generate the smoke that day???!!!... Cowpokes 54 ISU 20

#10 Utah over NEW MEXICO giving 7 1/2: Lobos have beaten the Utes outright four of the last five times and do own a September home victory over Arizona, but Utes are still in the hunt for an automatic BCS berth and beat Air Force by 7 in Colorado Springs...Utes 24 New Mexico 12

#11 Boise State giving NEW MEXICO STATE 20 1/2: Looks like the Land of Enchantment has its hands full this week (or at least its stadiums). Broncos teamed up with San Jose State last week to draw 22 hankies for over two football fields in penalty yards! A June ish of Sporting News reported NMSU was at risk of losing it’s BCS status if it failed to average 15,000 fans this season. This should help that cause, but betting backers won’t find any love in a team that’s gone 4-7-2 as a home dog under Hal Mumme and 2-8-1 in its last 11 WAC games...Boise 45 NMSU 7

#12 Texas Christian over UNLV giving 13 ½: This got lock consideration. Toads managed just a 13-7 win at Colorado State, but other than that, how can the Rebels possibly have anything left emotionally or physically to face the country’s top defense (only 2 of 9 opponents have scored more than 7) after consecutive heartbreakers to Air Force and BYU. If you officially had UNLV’s victory over Iowa State as a push, then the Rebels still have not had a 3-0 spread run since mid-2001 (as noted back in Week Four)...Froggies 34 Sin City 13

#13 Ohio State: IDLE (next @ Northwestern)

BAYLOR over #14 Missouri taking 20 1/2: Bares 2-2 ATS at home, 0-3 vs. ranked foes in 2008 (though 3-0 in Vindy’s Picks on the season!). Bison had just a single turnover and 28 penalty yards. Do ya think Mizzou was just a tad annoyed by nationally-televised 25-point loss in Austin two games ago?! Baylor’s conference spread record woes continue, now standing (crawling?) at 5-15. Tigers beat MAC’s Buffalo at home by 21. Are the Bears better at home than Buffalo is away?...Mizzou 42Bares 24

#15 LSU over Tulane giving 25 1/2: This line opened around 30 and took a major dive in favor of Green Wave, who got clobbered 42-17 last week, bringing home the bacon as the victim in one of the Weber Kid’s “best bets”! Bengals can’t get off the schnide vs. other SEC teams, but have won ATS in 11 of last 14 non-conference match-ups...Tigers 41 Surf’s Up 9

GEORGIA TECH over #16 Florida State taking 1: Ramblin’ Wreck ran into a sizzlin’ Virginia team last week and squandered an early 11-point advantage, while the Injuns overcame 10-0 hole against Hokies second- and eventually third-string quarterbacks. Tech is still 5-1 ATS. A recent study by Aussie scientists concluded honeybees can count to four. Smashing! At least the Yellowjackets will know what down it is!...Bugs 20 FSU 16

COLORADO STATE over #17 Brigham Young taking 14 1/2: Mormons have dropped four straight against the line and have yielded 67 points over last two games. Rams can still be bowl-eligible with two wins in final four games. Vindy is sooooooooooooo hangin’ up those topless calendars we mentioned last week! An upset wouldn’t shock your less-than-omniscient oracle...BYU 24 Colorado State 20

#18 Ball State: IDLE (next vs. Northern Illinois 11/5)

#19 Tulsa over ARKANSAS giving 7: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Hurricane is simply a points-machine, registering less than 45 just once all season (and that 37-31 win cost ‘em their first spread loss a couple weeks ago at SMU). Pigs covering the line on defense lately (3-0 spread run), but not winning outright (margins of 3, 1 and 2 over last three games at Auburn, at Kentucky and vs. Ole Miss, respectively...none of whom are noted for its respective offensive prowess)...Tulsa 38 Razorbacks 21

Northwestern over #20 MINNESOTA taking 6: Gophers haven’t dropped one vs. the line since season premiere over Northern Illinois. Despite nice increase in points-scored from ‘06 to ‘07, Wildcats doing it more on defense than offense this year too. Best guess for “wish I had it back”, but we like...Gerbils 20 NW 17

#21 North Carolina: IDLE (next vs. Joja’ Tech)

#22 MICHIGAN STATE over Wisconsin giving 5: Badgers rose up from the ashes to whack the Illini last week, but at best are gonna’ finish 6-6 and play in some lower-tier pre-New Year’s Day extravaganza sponsored by some household cleaning product. Spartans on the other hand are just one game off the conference lead and won’t meet those Nifty Lions for another couple weeks. Javon Ringer won’t repeat the 194-yard performance he got rushing in Ann Arbor, but he’ll get enough... MSU 24 Wisky 10

#23 Oregon over CAL taking 3: Seattle Times writer Dwight Perry recently pondered the hubbub over Sarah Palin’s $150K fashion makeover, noting he generally didn’t give a flyin’ rat’s until her wardrobe caught up to the Ducks available gameday threads. On a positive note, the White House wanna-be still outshines most of the Mallards players in the swimsuit competition and is still farther down the late Mr. Blackwell’s worst-dressed list than a half-dozen of Oregon’s green-and-yellow home-tilt combos!...Quack Attack 29 Berkeley Bears 23

#25 Maryland: IDLE (next @ Virginia Tech 11/6)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, the vending machine in the Cyclones locker room was immediately sold-out of brownies and Twinkies right after the first half ended!

NASA noted an unusual alignment of Jupiter and Mars last week as Vindicator called the exact score in Ball State’s 38-16 win over Eastern Michigan!

We’re thinking the Obama camp could’ve locked in the NFL and college pigskin fan votes by tweaking the campaign motto just a bit to...”Change-of-possession we need!”

Those who actually wagered with Vindicator’s Week Nine preferred picks (lock and/or best bets) are doin’ the happy dance this week because they won some money (or what Mrs. Palin would refer to as “moose pelts!”).

The Tennessee Titans’ Chris Johnson took a $10K hit to his wallet recently as the result of repeatedly striking Kansas City pep band drums following his long TD run vs. the Chiefs earlier this month. Gotta’ figure opposing stadium operators on the Titans road schedule will be blaring Todd Lundgren’s “Bang the Drum All Day” each time Johnson gets a touch (or at least Little Drummer Boy as the season moves into December!)! Meanwhile, the creators of Guitar Hero are now planning a Drum Hero: The NFL Tour. Folks like Tommy Lee, Charlie Watts, John Henry Bonham and, yes...even Ringo Starr....should be afraid....very...afraid!

This week on the silver screen....Peyton Manning, in between singing show tunes, hones the craft of checking off at the line of scrimmage in his final prep season before going to off to college in...”High School Audible 3"!

Note to self: Do not back the Buffaloes! Do not back the Buffaloes! Do not back the Buffaloes!

Earlier this year, Barack Obama, who said his “first love” is basketball, scrimmaged with the North Carolina Tarheels hoops team. If he’s injured as president, there’d be a distinct drop-off in points and boards with Joe Biden comin’ in off the bench! As previously-noted, Palin played some half-court ball too. If behind late on Election Day will she foul and send Obama to the charity stripe? BTW, there’s no truth to the rumor Obama briefly considered Tyler Hansbrough as a running mate.

As the NBA season gets underway, we revisit the story of former official Tim Donaghy, who was to sentenced to 15 months last summer. Damn...Vindicator had money on the “under 13 ½"!!!

Jose Canseco apologized last week for blowin’ the whistle and namin’ names of steroid-using players in his book. In April, the Feds wanted to question the former Bash Brother about a 1998 photo of Roger Clemens at a pool party at his house. The person in that photo turned out to be...the Weber Kid! (Oh sure....like the title of Canseco’s book, “Vindicated”, was a coincidence???!!)

Black Shirt: For the second straight week, the Nittany Lions’ Pat Devlin grabs the coveted Black Shirt for coming in off the pine to quarterback the Alma Mater to the winning TD at the Horseshoe! Also snaring a few votes...Fresno State kicker Kevin Goessling, who hit a 58-yard FG as time expired, on the road, to rally the Bulldogs over feisty Utah State and Idaho kicker Tino Amancio, who split the uprights from 52 and 51 in the second half to give the Vandals their first FBS win on the year!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vindicator called himself “a glutton for punishment” as he took Colorado and the points at Missouri! We’d also like to revisit (though not nearly as much as that Bison prediction!) the Texas -13 over Oklahoma State call as the Steers left Vindy wondering “about a fatigue....factor”

“Locked in a Box?”: Many thanks to the Arizona Wildcats, specifically the UA defense, for taking USC to the wire and taking our “lock” tally up to 8-1 (.888).

Shoppe Talk: Texas Tech returns to join BYU, both at 1-5. Vindicator stuffs a Florida State Seminole full of Cuban cigars (which were actually rolled by Hondurans! [Seinfeld fans in the readership will follow that one!]) for posting a 7th forecast loss in the last 8 appearances going back to ‘07!

Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 6-0 (That bears repeating...six-and-freakin’ ohhhhh!) Season:
27-14-1 (.659)
VIRGINIA +1 over Miami, San Diego State +3 over WYOMING, Rice -2 over UTEP, Florida International +7 over UL-LAFAYETTE

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2008

2008-10-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

U.S. MEETS JOE PA...THE PLUMBER????

STATE COLLEGE, Pennsylvania (REUTERS)....Previously living in relative obscurity outside the world of college football, JoePa the Plumber, whose real name is Joe Paterno, hit the national political radar in a big way after having his name uttered a collective 26 times during the third and final presidential debate last week. Paterno first got noticed when he told Illinois senator Barack Obama that he had hoped to actually purchase the university which has employed him for the past several decades, but could not afford the accompanying taxes under Obama’s plan. In the wake of that encounter, JoePa has come to represent America’s “everyman”. Local residents, however, were surprised to hear that the beloved head coach of their currently third-ranked Lions football team also had been moonlighting for Penn State, fixing clogged or leaky pipes in Beaver Stadium and various other facilities around the campus. Ever-modest, the Happy Valley legend questioned why he was “getting all the attention when there are others out there with similar concerns who are much more deserving, like Bob the Builder, Frank the Tank, Felix the Cat and Jabba the Hutt!”

Already down 0-2 headed into Saturday, your haggard host went 6-13 (68-67-1, .504) and knew he shoulda’ kept Giambi’s lame thong another week!!!! Val Kilmer, reprising his role as Ice Man in Top Gun, told Vindicator...”It’s not your picking. It’s your attitude. I mean... whose side are you on?”. Back in the cockpit with Goose and Maverick (What?! How’d she get in there??!!) , Vindy just hopes the bookies don’t have “missile lock” on....

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 9 FORECAST
(Trust Vindy...he’s a doctor. He’s also a PC!)

FRI. OCT. 24
SAN JOSE STATE over #13 Boise State taking 7 1/2: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. The Bulldogs are only 3-2 against the line this season and couldn’t cover on the blue turf against Da’ Bows despite a plus-three turnover margin last week. Boise offense apparently hit the showers early after scoring a trey just 90 seconds into the 4th Quarter. Spartans have covered 3 of last 4 vs. the Potato-Heads, with prior pair of SU losses in San Jose coming by 3 and 7. SJSU is 5-1 against the line to-date this year and on 14-5 spread run vs. the WAC. Broncos held Hawaii to one score, so BSU opponents still have scored more than 7 just once...until now....San Jose State 28 Boise State 24

SAT. OCT. 25
#1 TEXAS over #7 Oklahoma State giving 13: Cowboys WR Dez Bryant reeled in 11 grabs for 212 yards against Baylor. ‘Horns were vulnerable to Oklahoma’s passing game in the first half and intercepted Mizzou’s Chase Daniels just once. Tough to go against hot State team, but in the last four meetings between this pair, the final margin was close only in the two games played in Stillwater (Both won by the ‘Horns...38-35 last year and 17-15 in 2005). We like UT’s level of competition over that of Okie State, but wonder about a fatigue (and luck) factor...Steers 49 OKSU 34

#2 Alabama over TENNESSEE giving 7: Tide jumped out to a big lead before letting Ole Miss chip away in the second half. Good news, Elephants fans...’Bama posted three offensive touchdowns last week! Tide’s covered three of last four vs. the Vols, who were locked in a close one with Mississippi State before returning a pair of picks for scores (one of which occurred with the Bulldogs deep in Tennessee territory) in the second half to pull away. Rocky Top wants to avenge one of last year’s four outright losses...a 41-17 defeat in Birmingham. Not happenin ’... Alabama 27 UT 13

#3 Penn State over #10 OHIO STATE giving 2: If this line holds up ‘til kickoff, this will be only the second time in five seasons the Buckeyes have been dogs in Columbus and OSU has won 24 of last 26 SU at the ‘Shoe (losing only to Illinois in ‘07 and Texas in ‘05). But Lions whacked a previously near-invincible Wisconsin team at Camp Randall (a week after the Buckeyes did so). Ohio State has won 7 of last 10 SU vs. the Lions and Penn State is 0-fer- Columbus since at least 1993. OSU is 0-4 ATS at home this season (though the spreads in those tilts were 18 or more). Michigan State coughed it up five times last week to help Buckeyes get the win. “Just win, Baby!”...Nifty Lions 19 OSU 13

#4 Oklahoma over KANSAS STATE giving 19: Wildcats could be flat off tough loss last week at Colorado and lack of returning defensive starters really shows. Not a good sign for team going against an Oklahoma scoring- machine that’s lit up the board for 45 or more in five of seven and haven’t tallied less than 35 all year. ‘Cats pass D is ranked 92nd nationally, yielding 14 passing scores while snatching only four INTs. The “letdown” vs. Kansas is over, and though Sooners are still just 7-7 in last 14 laying points on the road, unless the special teams give up good field position repeatedly to K-State...Sooners 48 K-State 20

Kentucky over #5 FLORIDA taking 24 1/2: ‘Cats are now without their starting RB as they continue to negotiate a schedule that sees only four opponents who had fewer than seven SU wins last year. Kentucky’s lost their last three in the Swamp by margins of 7, 17 and 19. We think the D will be good enough to hang long enough with the Gators, who were idle last week, so they haven’t had the post-LSU-blowout letdown yet. Gators on 11-4 ATS run as home faves, but... Florida 41 KY 24

ARIZONA over #6 Southern Cal taking 16: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Trojans were busy shredding Wazzou’s rice-paper defense with three 100-yard rushers, while ‘Zona was rallying from a 10-point hole to whack Cal. AZ has covered last three vs. USC and lost by just 6 in L.A. last season...USC 27 Arizona 17

#19 KANSAS over #8 Texas Tech (PK): Tech had difficulties on special teams (allowing two kick-blocks) and three turnovers vs. A&M. Jayhawks have covered last three vs. Tech, but last played in 2005 was got points in all three of those games. Kansas didn’t play too badly in loss to Oklahoma. Vindy’s Week 8 forecast got caught in a tornado...and a house dropped on it... Kansas 29 Red Raiders 24

#9 Georgia over #11 LSU taking 2 1/2: Rematch of 2005 conference title game...won 34-14 by Joja’. ‘Dawgs can’t afford to look ahead to Florida and are currently on 0-3 spread run. Tigers have been dismal SEC home faves and haven’t covered either home game this year. Bengals got six sacks and three turnovers to pull out win over South Carolina. Have to figure Georgia can win behind it’s experienced backfield...Joja’ 13 LSU 10

#12 Utah: IDLE (next @ New Mexico) (Guess we gotta’ shelve the concept boards for that “Strumpets of Salt Lake City” day-planner we were workin’ on!....See BYU-UNLV write-up below!)

#14 South Florida over LOUISVILLE giving 5: This one got “lock” consideration. Interesting line considering Cards lost only other Big East game this year by 5 to UConn at home, though these two do seem to trade ass-whuppings at their respective home parks. Bulls let Syracuse hang around for a half before blasting the Orange (uh...did we forget to note last week’s prediction that Syracuse could cover with a FG was meant for the first half????!!!! OK, not!) Cards at home for the 6th time in 7 games, but unless there’s a Louisville, Florida (see Sunday’s UCF-Tulsa breakdown below)...USF 35 Louisville 17

#15 TCU over Wyoming giving 32: TCU player had a tackling dummy with the BYU logo in team weight room since last year. The dummy had no sacks or tackles for loss, but did draw a personal foul for unnecessary roughness! Cowboys are 0-7 ATS and haven’t even come close to a cover. How they actually beat Ohio U. in the season opener is still a mystery...Froggies 45 Wy are we still playing? 7

Colorado over #16 MISSOURI taking 21 1/2: Tigers are in midst of 2-2 SU/1-3 swoon with back-to-back defeats by Texas and Oklahoma State. Buffs in 0-4 ATS slide themselves, but held on to an early eight-point lead to ease by K-State by 1. CU is now 3-12-1 against the number getting points away from Boulder. Buffaloes were embarrassed 55-10 last year at home. Mizzou beat Buffalo by 20 at home. Always a glutton for punishment, Vindy grabs the extra point-and-a-half...Tigers 38 Bison 19

#17 PITT over Rutgers giving 9 1/2: Panthers just 3-7-1 laying points at home in last 11 tries under Coach Wannstedt, but updating a nice stat from Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com, Pitt has now covered 34 of last 35 when winning outright with revenge. Knights victimized Pitt 20-16 in ‘07 in New Jersey. Pomegranite Paladins have scored more than 12 points only twice this year (three times if ya count game vs. I-AA Morgan State!) and have a fair-to-middlin’ rush defense. They’ll need more that to win or cover here...Pitt 28 Rutgers 10

#18 BYU over Unlv giving 23: Had the Coogs actually beaten TCU, or at least not been blown out, we woulda’ considered taking the points here. Rebels lost a must-win game to Air Force (but stayed close enough to kill Weber’s second parlay, wasting a cover by his lock pick, Ole Miss) in the final minutes and could be flat as a pancake. BYU recently revoked the diploma of a Vegas-based August graduate for producing a calendar featuring topless Mormons called “Men on a Mission” There goes Vindy’s calendar showing topless kickers, called “Punters of Provo”!... Cougars 42 UNLV 17

Eastern Michigan over #20 BALL STATE taking 24: EMU has one cover in six games so far (and how did they beat Bowling Green on the road??!!), but are scoring an average of 24 points per game in last three. Powerful Ball State offense got some R&R last week and Birds are 6-0 ATS to-date. BSU won handily last season 38-16 and have covered past three vs. EMU, but those spreads were only -4, -5 and +6. Much-improved Northern Illinois team, just one game behind Ball State in the MAC West, is up next...Redbirds 38 Eagles 16

Virginia over #21 GEORGIA TECH taking 11 1/2: 2008 version of the Cavs has more faces than Eve! Riding a 3-0 SU/ATS run, it’s a shame they waited this long to realize the season was really underway. Virginia is 0-2 (SU and ATS). We think the spread record changes for the better here. Behind the triple-option he ran until last year at Annapolis, Paul Johnson could potentially go undefeated or maybe 10-2 (with trips to Raleigh and Athens looming) and garner Coach of Da’ Year nominations. We don’t know what the 10-7 home win over I-AA Gardner-Webb was about...Bees 21 Cavs 17

NORTH CAROLINA over #23 Boston College giving 3: Collectively, this pair was minus-seven in turnover margin in their losses last week. If Tarheels are to stay close in their division and continue the ACC changing-of-the-guard, they need to win. BC probably should have lost to Virginia Tech last week...UNC 20 Eagles 16

Virginia Tech over #24 FLORIDA STATE taking 4 1/2: Just another installation of ACC’s revolving door of teams near the bottom of the rankings! Tech’s reeling a bit and generally doesn’t cover in games following Boston College, but Bowden-coached teams aren’t getting it done either. Injuns on Vindy’s Shoppe radar at 1-6 in their past seven forecast appearances going back to last year...VT 21 FSU 20

PURDUE over #25 Minnesota (PK): Boilermakers have yet to record a straight-up conference win this year and their only outright victories have come over I-AA Northern Colorado and Central Michigan, yet the line has moved from Gophers -2 to current “pick ‘em”, suggesting a lot of other folks out there agree with Vindy’s earlier assessment that Purdue could win out with a few fortunate bounces or calls. Choo-Choos have defeated Minny in seven of last eight. Gophers have covered only 1 of 9 spread tries vs. Purdue. Boilers have covered of two of three this year vs. ranked teams (and should’ve covered vs. Vindy’s Lions!)...Purdue 20 Gerbils 17

SUN. OCT. 26
#22 TULSA over Central Florida giving 22 1/2: The top scoring team in the nation is...USC? Please. Oklahoma? Nope. Not even...Texas? Uh-uh. It’s... Tulsa! In fact, the Golden Hurricane puts up over 8 ppg more than the runner-up Longhorns (with an average TOP of just 28:22). UCF leans more on its defense (26 points per game allowed), but vs. top-notch teams, has really only shown up against other Sunshine State squads (losing by just 7 to South Florida and by 6 to Miami), so unless coaches can convince the Knights that the city across the bridge from St. Petersburg is Tulsa, not Tampa...Hurricane 44 UCF 20

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Pundits aren’t sure which way JoePa the Plumber will actually cast his vote in a couple weeks, but noted Paterno did decline the opportunity to meet Bill Clinton during his visit to Happy Valley earlier this year to stump for Hillary (whose father and brother played ball at Penn State). Seems the former First Lady not only lied about coming under enemy fire when she visited Bosnia in the late 90's, she also made up a story about toting the rock against hostile linebackers and safeties upon arriving at Beaver Stadium!

BTW, the newest addition to the BCS formula is votes from the Super Delegates...which means, despite the actual rankings following the various conference championship tilts, the BCS Title game in January will pit a team from a red state vs. one from a blue state!

All six of the Weber Kid’s correct picks last week involved teams in the Top Ten, with only Vandy (then at #22) coming through (but the Commodores held the line vs. #10 Joja’!)

Correction department: We mistakenly wrote PSU would beat Michigan for the first time in nine tries. It was actually first time in ten!

Before blasting Mizzou last week, the Steers symbolically buried the hype of the upset over Oklahoma by literally burying that game ball. Vindicator wishes he had done likewise with Week Seven’s forecast!

The streets of Lancaster, California are being grooved to play the Lone Ranger theme song, AKA the William Tell Overture, when cars drive over it. In related news, the streets of Ann Arbor are being grooved to play tunes from the soundtrack of Titanic!

A recent medical study revealed Bee Gees classic Stayin’ Alive has the same rhythm as the famous CPR procedure, helping potential life-savers keep the correct pace. A Mallards coach, upon condition of anonymity, said Disco Duck helps Oregon QB Jeremiah Massoli with his timing and footwork!

Baylor paid students to retake SATs to bolster the school’s national average. Meanwhile, the NFL is considering paying bonuses to draft picks to retake the Wonderlic test to improve the league’s standings among the AFL, CFL and NFL Europe!

With the NFL taking its act to the U.K., Saints coach Sean Payton allegedly had some trouble explaining the premises of American football to the locals, including why absent Naw’lins RB Reggie Bush was not the illegitimate child of the currently-sitting U.S. president. London reporters, however, tried repeatedly to tell Payton “Bangers and Mash” was not really a pair of defensive ends who would be harassing his quarterback this weekend! Can’t wait to see video on You Tube of players doing end zone dances and spiking the football in front of the Buckingham Palace Guards!

Technical difficulties experienced by the Turner Broadcast System on Saturday night delayed live TVcoverage of the ALCS Game Six between Boston and Tampa Bay for the first 20 minutes of the contest. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick is considering suing ABC-ESPN after similar problems prevented the Pats coach from TiVoing the Broncos’ defensive signals during the first half of MNF’s New England-Denver game!

Who are those guys playing in the St. Louis unis and what did they do with the Rams???!!!

Black Shirt: The Black Shirt this week goes to Lions’ Pat Devlin, whose only catch of the game went for an 80-yard score with about two minutes left to give the alma mater the cover over Michigan, salvaging just one of six correct choices for your flabbergasted forecaster last week.

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vindy correctly tabbed the Hokies +2 ½ over BC selection as his “best guess for wish...” pick!

“Locked in a Box?”: A nice second-half surge by Ole Miss takes our “lock” record to 7-1 (.875)

Shoppe Talk: Red Raiders leave after picking up their first forecast W and Badgers aren’t on the Top 25 slate this week, but the Mormons of BYU are wiping their cleats on the welcome mat with three straight forecast losses and a 1-4 overall record!

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-2 Season: 21-14-1 (.600)
ARMY -1 1/2 over Weeziana Tech, Rice +2 ½ over TULANE, NAVY -12 ½ over Southern Methodist, Michigan State -4 ½ over MICHIGAN, Middle Tennessee State +11 1/2 over MISSISSIPPI STATE, Troy -24 over NORTH TEXAS

Now if you’ll pardon the Sin City Soothsayer, he’s off to rehearse lines for his role in an upcoming Shakespeare production, sponsored by Coors....”Hark!...What light beer through yonder window breaks?!”

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2008

2008-10-15T19:24:00.000-07:00

RECLUSIVE FOREIGN LEADER FINALLY SEEN...AT COLLEGE GAME

MADISON, Wisconsin (BBC)....Well-hidden from public view for the past few months and amidst rumors of poor-health and speculation his rogue nation had acquired Romulan cloaking-device technology, North Korean president Kim Il Jong II was spotted taking in the Badgers-Buckeyes game two Saturdays ago at Camp Randall. After panning the stadium section normally reserved for the suspended University of Wisconsin band and noticing the difference in uniform colors, a quick-thinking network cameraman tipped off the FBI to the location of the communist dictator, who was surrounded by several members of his military forces. In fact, the North Korean test-firing of short-range missiles, originally scheduled for October 7, was moved up at Jong’s request and took place at halftime to fill the void left by the Wisky band’s absence. However, the missiles, launched from midfield, fell way-short of their intended target, Maple Bluff Golf Course on the far side of Lake Mendota, and did minimal damage to a portion of the football venue vacated minutes before by fans heading for the concession stands as the whistle sounded at the intermission! U.S. satellite imagery confirmed the reported presence of the foreign leader, who, until then, had been more secretive than Mata Hari, James Bond and Batman combined!

Back in Sin City, the Weber Kid was agog as final scores started rolling in on the way to Week Seven’s 13-5 (62-54-1, .534) and admits he got a few good bounces as a few of his winning picks squeaked past the line. Still sporting the gold lame thong he borrowed from the Yankees’ Jason Giambi, who wore the silky, tiger-striped under-thing to break batting slumps, Vindicator steps up to the plate carrying a Marla Maples bat and tries to just make contact with...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 8 FORECAST
(The difference is the pickability!)

THURS. OCT. 16
#9 Brigham Young over TCU giving 1: Both clubs sport 4-2 spread records for 2008 and both are respectively 1-2 ATS in their last three games. Mormons are suddenly winning on defense?!! Horny Toads offense went into hibernation last week with 6:52 left in the second quarter. Even on a short week, have to think BYU can cover a number this small, even on the MWC road. Toads are 1-5 SU in last six-pack of Thursday nighters (we feel their pain!)...Cougars 27 Frogs 17

FRI. OCT. 17
#15 BOISE STATE over Hawaii giving 25: ‘Bows have shown some life of late with back-to-back SU/ATS victories, but got 4 turnovers from Weeziana Tech to overcome 127 penalty yards last week. Broncos scored all 24 of their points last week in the second quarter at SoMiss. Boise’s covered both home fave chances this year and are now 19-6 in that role the last four-plus seasons. Only one of the Broncos 2008 opponents (Oregon at Eugene in an SU loss) have scored more than seven points...BSU 45 Rain-woes 10

SAT. OCT. 18
#1 TEXAS over #11 Missouri giving 6 1/2: First meeting since UT pounded Mizzou 51-20 in 2005 at Columbia. We’re not convinced ‘Horns deserved the outright victory over Oklahoma given poor tackling and even poorer officiating, though we do admire the pretty catches made by the Texas receivers. Two words for success against the Steers...”middle-screen”, which the Sooners ran several times for big plays. In a de facto preview of the Big 12 championship game, it’s...Texas 34Tigers 24

Mississippi over #2 ALABAMA taking 13 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Rebels draw Vindy’s straight doggie choice for “lock’...not solely on the basis of Florida upset, but rather on generally-improved all-around play this year and Tide’s ongoing strategy of field-position-over-offense philosophy. ‘Bama’s off a week of rest, but Ole Miss has lost the last three years to the Crimson Tide by a total of nine points and the Elephants are only 2-2 ATS laying double-digits this year (with two of those games coming at home)...Alabama 21 Rebels 13

#3 PENN STATE over Michigan giving 23 1/2: Lions look like they’ll finally beat Big Blew for the first time in 9 matches. Vin paid the price for his lack of faith in the Alma Mater last week. We won’t do that again here. Anticipating a loss in Michigan, John McCain has removed his ads from the Wolverine State and moved resources to Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Maine. Oddly, having already won in Wisconsin and expecting a loss this week, UM is trying to pull out of Saturday’s game and schedule a road match vs. the I-AA Black Bears!... Nifty Lions 37 Michigan 10

#4 OKLAHOMA over #16 Kansas giving 19: For basically three quarters at the Red River Rivalry, Oklahoma was clearly the better team, though it did benefit from multiple missed tackles. Okies are still 4-1 against the line this year and covered both home chalk opportunities easily. Jayhawks struggled with the Bison before pulling away in the 4th Quarter and are last week’s safety (in which the CU QB ran backwards about five yards into his own end zone) away from mere 0-1-1 spread record vs. the Big 12 this year...Oklahoma 41 Kansas 19

#5 Florida: IDLE (next vs. Kentucky)

WASHINGTON STATE over #6 Southern Cal taking 42 1/2: Long year in Pullman and that’s before we mention the 170 penalty yards Wazzou absorbed in 66-13 loss to the Beavers. Nonetheless, Trojans committed five turnovers, but finished the ASU game just plus-one in that category and were lucky to cover, raising the PAC-10 spread record to 9-12 last two-plus seasons. Coogs have yielded more than 60 three times already, but Troy has hit the fifties just once. State’s 0-6 ATS, but we see this as replay of last week’s Idaho at Fresno tilt. Trip to Arizona up next for Troy... USC 48 Washington State 12

TEXAS A&M over #7 Texas Tech taking 21: Having covered both away games this season, Raiders are still just 7-12 the last 19 giving points on the road. Huskers nearly pulled the major upset by playing ball control and keeping possession nearly 21 more minutes than Tech last week. Aggies have scored less than 21 only once so far, but are yielding an average of 40 ppg over the past four. TTU has beaten the line 12 of last 14 vs. A&M, but while blasting the Aggies in Lubbock, games in College Station have been much, much closer...Red Raiders 35 A&M 24

#8 OKLAHOMA STATE over Baylor giving 16 1/2: Bears are improving, but still on 5-13 spread run vs. the rest of the conference, including just two of nine vs. the Cowboys. State managed the upset of Mizzou on defense, odd for a team more known for its prolific (and balanced) offense. Pokes have road game at Austin next, but we think they won’t let down and will go to 6-0 ATS here...OKSU 44 Baylor 20

#22 Vanderbilt over #10 GEORGIA taking 14 1/2: Joja’ also took advantage of a ball-control offense to keep the pigskin 25 more minutes than Tennessee, who, down big at the start of the second half, abandoned the run while netting 1 yard on 15 carries. Admirals are changing QBs to bolster a passing offense near the bottom of the national charts. Should be enough to rebound from first spread loss (and first SU defeat) last week...Dawgs 19 Vandy 14

#20 MICHIGAN STATE over #12 Ohio State taking 3 1/2: MSU’s Javon Ringer is 1st nationally in total rushing yardage and second in yards per game (at nearly 160 per match). Buckeyes have covered four of last five vs. the Spartans, but the conference spread record continues to fall annually and OSU’s only touchdown last week came on a blocked punt. They’ll need more than three-pointers to win here...Spartans 24 OSU 17

SOUTH CAROLINA over #13 Louisiana State taking 3 1/2: Gotta’ figure 30-point shellacking in the Swamp last week was a confidence-buster for Bengals freshman QB Lee, who tossed two for touchdowns (three if ya count the pick that went for a Gator six!). Gamehens are on a four-game SU win-streak and if Vindy was Steve Spurrier’s DC, he’d bring the house on the first five or six plays of Lee’s first offensive series, regardless of the yardage gained, just to send a message. Even after losing in Florida, Mitt Romney vowed to stay in the race earlier this year...kinda’ like LSU!...Pugilistic Poultry 24 Tigers 20

Colorado State over #14 UTAH taking 22: Utes no sure thing this year ATS and took advantage of five Wyoming turnovers (two for cores) and a blocked punt to cement Vindy’s correct spread selection. Rams have just a tie and four ATS losses vs. Utah, but have covered three outta’ four lined tilts in 2008 and hung tough to lose by just six to TCU despite three turnovers of their own. Utes haven’t covered either chance as home faves and just one of the three vs. the Mountain West this season...Utah 31 CSU 17

#17 Virginia Tech over BOSTON COLLEGE taking 2 1/2: Best guess for “wish I had it back” pick, but a previously-dormant Hokies team showed some moxie rallying to beat Nebraska then dropping North Carolina on the road.. Tech has not fared well against the line in games vs. the Eagles, going just 2-6 in last 8, but with letdown game vs. Western Kentucky outta’ the way, we’ll give VT a shot vs. BC team that’s posted two shutouts already (but Eagles gave up 31 to NC State)...Tech 17 BC 16

#18 North Carolina over VIRGINIA giving 5 1/2: Line looks reasonable given two consecutive outright victories by the Cavs. Where the hell was this Virginia team earlier this season??!!! Who’s the real team in this match-up this week?...Tarheels, who’ve increased average point scoring by 11 and reduced points-against by 4 from last season or Virginny squad that’s scored 31and 35, respectively, the past two weeks after averaging 10 ppg through the first four games?...La Brea 32 Cavaliers 20

Syracuse over #19 SOUTH FLORIDA taking 24: How long will the Orange will stick with Coach Robinson, who has led the ‘Cuse to a straight-up tally of 8-33. Syracuse has, however, posted back-to-covers, mainly behind its defense, after an 0-3 spread start (and was down only 1 to the Mounties at halftime last weekend). Bulls are just 1-4 ATS, though have covered last three vs. Syracuse. USF lost at home to Pitt by 6. ‘Cuse lost at home to the Panthers by just 10. Not sure we’ve seen enough to justify a nearly three-touchdown differential. Orange can cover with a FG...South Florida 24 ‘Cuse 3

#21 Wake Forest over MARYLAND giving 1: We considered this game for lock. This line shows a lot of respect for Terps team that lost at Middle Tennessee State and was blanked 31-0 at Virginia, who’s only win until then was a 16-0 home victory over I-AA Richmond. Box Turtles got a full week of rest, while Wake played last Thursday, so they got a couple extra days to prepare. Both sides squeaked by Clemson, though we credit Maryland for doing so on the ACC road. Maryland also beat now-ranked Cal, but we still prefer Deacons’ level of competition overall. Wake is 24-8 SU in last 32 games and winning this year on D....The Forest 13 Maryland 9

NAVY over #23 Pittsburgh taking 3: A Georgian sailor (the Eastern European variety, not the U.S, southern Bulldog variety) has been at sea recently on the USS Mason, undergoing training. In addition to naval issues, the sailor also got some reps with the triple-option offense and is expected to see at least one series in the Middies backfield this weekend vs. the Panthers. The Ensigns finished the 2007 season last in pass efficiency defense, but with wins at Wake Forest and at Air Force, we like...Navy 23 Pitt 19

#24 Ball State: IDLE (next vs. Eastern Michigan)

#25 California over ARIZONA giving 1 ½: ‘Cats lost a field-goal fest last week to Stanford despite a +3 turnover margin. ‘Zona 4-2 ATS, but Cal is 4-1, off a bye and frankly, we put more stock in Bears opening victory over Michigan State than UA’s win at hobbled UCLA...UC-Berkeley 24 Arizona 17

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, an unidentified concessionaire, hoping to get her 15 minutes of fame, said she had visual proof of Kim Il Jong actually buying a beer, bratwurst and Bucky Badger plush toy, on video, which she hopes to sell to the National Enquirer!

Officiating in the Longhorns-Sooners game was sooooooo bad (all together now...”How bad was it??!!”)...the officiating was so bad...that during a perfectly-executed Oklahoma punt, a fan in the stands wearing a red jersey tripped, hurting himself, and the Longhorns were flagged for running into the kicker!

Opening a couple weeks ago in Vegas at Mandalay Place was Minus 5, the first American ice lounge. The club’s ambient temperature is 23 degrees Fahrenheit and the bar, seats and cocktail-ware are all sculpted from blocks of ice. The Packers are reportedly renting the venue to host a “home game” this week vs. Da’ Colts!

Making its small screen debut this week on TNT...prosecutors and public defenders take turns holding the goalposts up just a few feet higher while their respective opposing clients attempt field goals and extra points to win their court cases on...”Raising the Crossbar”!

Honda is now the “official car” of the National Hockey League. Uh.... because hockey’s so popular in Japan???!! Anybody out there actually lookin’ forward to seeing Ichiro or Yao Ming lace-up the skates and tee one up from the blue line??!!!

Earlier this Spring, Tigers pitcher Dontrelle Willis pleaded guilty to reckless driving, as opposed to the initial DUI charge, based on a December incident in which he also answered Nature’s call (but avoided a public urination charge). Did he “shake off” his catcher? Was the arresting officer’s call “high” and “outside”?

Black Shirt: Our prestigious Black Shirt goes to the SoCal’s Fili Moala for blockin’ a pair of Sun Devils field goals, either of which woulda’ ruined the Trojans’ cover vs. Arizona State! And also up for “Shirt” consideration was the Ball State defense, which kept Western Kentucky off the scoreboard until under a minute remained in the game to bail out a struggling Cardinals offense!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Colorado taking 14 over Kansas. Vindy noted he had “no faith” in that pick and revisits his statement from earlier this season, noting he gets burned “every time he hops on the Buffaloes bandwagon”.

“Locked in a Box?”: Purdue didn’t even need to hit the scoreboard to post Vindy’s 6th “lock” win in 7 tries, but put up a FG vs. the Buckeyes anyway!

Shoppe Talk: We officially welcome (read: “stuff”) the Badgers (and their band!) this week at 1-5 and the Red Raiders at 0-4!

Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 17-12-1 (.586)
Air Force -4 ½ over UNLV, Mississippi State +8 over TENNESSEE, RICE -3 1/2 over Southern Miss, Oregon State -14 over WASHINGTON, San Jose State -2 1/2 over NEW MEXICO STATE, UL-LAFAYETTE -4 over Arkansas State

Vindy's Picks Week 7-2008

2008-10-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

POWER PLAY PROPELS BIDEN TO DEBATE WIN

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (CNN)....Tied, but tiring in the final twenty minutes of last week’s closely-fought Vice Presidential debate on national television with her opponent trying to play up-tempo, “America’s most-famous hockey mom” threw a vicious check, out of frustration, that sent Joe Biden crashing dangerously head-long into the plexi-glass plates surrounding his podium and got whistled for boarding on the play. During the two minutes Palin would spend in the penalty box before leaving the stage with a debate-misconduct , Biden would pull his own speech-writer from between the Democratic party pipes to get the extra attacker on and pepper the empty Republican podium with multiple shots during the man-advantage and finally sneaked the winning point in on the short-side and into the back of the net as several helpless Palin-camp staffers sprawled on the stage in the butterfly . MSNBC officials vowed to review the hit and could impose a fine on Palin, cutting into some of her campaign contribution money! The Republican running mate of John McCain later called Biden a “wuss” and said the Russians, against whom she said she had playing experience because she watched the Red Army team skate from across the Bering Strait via telescope, would “never have called a penalty on that play!”

Having gone well-past his normal shift, starting last Wednesday and surviving a 1-3 work-week record to finally achieve that elusive double-digit wins week, going 10-9 (49-49-1, .500), Vindicator’s just sucking wind and elects to merely ice the puck and await the results of ...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 7 FORECAST
(Making da’ world a better place...one pick at a time)

THURS. OCT. 9
#21 WAKE FOREST over Clemson giving 2 1/2: Both teams come in off bye weeks following tough losses...an upset in the case of Wake and in the case of Clemson, a defeat by a Maryland team, who as a Week Six best bet, humiliated the Vindicator by being shutout 31-0 at Virginia! Deacons’ SU loss to the Middies puts the home fave spread record at 4-11. Clemson won last year 44-10, but are 0-3 ATS in their three lined games in 2008. Off not one, but TWO (count’ em, TWO) Thursday night forecast losses, we give the nod to...WF 24 Tigers 14

SAT. OCT. 11
#5 Texas over #1 Oklahoma (@Dallas) taking 7: There is no such thing as a “clear Number One” this time of the year and as good as the Sooners look currently, the key match-ups here will include the Longhorns’ O-line (which gave up 4sacks in last year’s 28-21 loss) vs. Oklahoma’s pass D and #5 Texas’ run defense (which has yet to yield a rushing TD) vs. Sooners’ RB (and local Vegas product) DeMarco Murray...Texas 24 Oklahoma 21

#2 Alabama: IDLE (next vs. Mississippi)

#17 Oklahoma State over #3 MISSOURI taking 13 ½: Given Tigers’ 35-point demolition of Nebraska, in Lincoln, this number suggests the lines-makers think the betting public thinks (and Vindy thinks) the potent Cowboys offense can draw Mizzou into a shootout. Tigers played a nearly-flawless game vs. Nebraska...zero turnovers, zero punts and a lone yellow hanky! The last two meetings (‘04 and ‘05) were decided by 3 and 7 points. Tigers have a trek to Austin up next...Missouri 37 OKSU 31

#11 FLORIDA over #4 Louisiana State giving 5: The Bengals have been resting on the lucky laurels that got ‘em by Auburn (“boosting” the SEC spread record to 7-17-4 the last three-plus seasons). Gators are now 13-7-1 ATS under Coach Meyer laying points at the Swamp, but lost 28-24 last year and are 1-2 SU (though 3-0 ATS) vs. State. Crocs are 4-1 against the line in ‘08, with two covers on the SEC road...UF 24 LSU 17

WISCONSIN over #6 Penn State taking 5: Arrrrrggghhh! We hate being in a position to have to pick against the Alma Mater. Lions are one of four teams without a spread loss in five lined games (Texas, Ball State and [gasp!] Vandy are the others), but did not look good in win [and cover] at Purdue, keeping a few Boilermaker drives going with untimely penalties and dodging some bullets via missed kicks (see “Black Shirt” in Between the Hashmarks later in this forecast) and questionable officiating. With Wisky’s outright defeat to Ohio State last week, what are the odds the Varmints will drop back-to-back home games?!! Badgers have blown half-time leads to rack up consecutive Big Ten losses...We are... Penn State 16 Barges...uh..Budgies...er...Fondue 13

#7 TEXAS TECH over Nebraska giving 21: Vindy doesn’t have a warm-and-fuzzy with this pick. First away game after five-home game stand for Huskers, who sport 4-10 ATS record as road puppies the last four seasons. Almost as impressive is Tech’s 9-8-2 spread tally the last four-plus as home chalk. Raiders won most recent two...70-10 in 2004 and 34-31 in 2005. Hey...it’s Homecoming in Lubbock!...”Air Raid” 45 Corn Cobs 21

#8 USC over Arizona State giving 26 1/2: Devils QB Rudy Carpenter was State’s best hope in this one...and he’s now questionable to play. Israeli scientists, this week, have figured out how to make the smell of roses better through genetics. Rose Bowl committee members hope they can make that aroma more attractive to the Trojans, who entered the campaign dreaming the post-season smell of Dolphins or at least stale oranges...USC 48 ASU 20

#9 BYU over New Mexico giving 23 ½: With cover vs. Wyoming, Coogs have covered 17 of last 25 Mountain West games, but up 34-0 in the 4th Quarter at Utah State, we just wanna’ know which...uh...upstanding citizen and er....sports capitalism entrepreneur....put in a call to the Mormons’ sideline to allow two TDs in a span of 4:30 that gave the dog cover to the Aggies last weekend! Lobos on a 3-1 spread run and 6-5 as road dogs, but lost by 42 at Tulsa earlier...BYU 44 New Mexico 17

Tennessee over #10 GEORGIA taking 13: Vols have been disappointing this year and struggled in 13-9 win over Northern Illinois. ‘Dawgs have stewed for an extra week over loss to ‘Bama and want revenge for 35-14 loss last season in Knoxville. UGA’s covered only 2 of last 7 giving double-digits...Joja’ 19 Rocky Top 9

Purdue over #12 OHIO STATE taking 19: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Looks like too many points to lay with Buckeyes team that squeaked by Wisconsin in a physical game. Boilermakers moved the ball well last week, with a little help from the Lions, but hurt themselves in the kicking game. Coach Tiller’s imminent retirement should continue to serve as motivation and Vindy thinks Purdue could win four (maybe even five) of its final six with a few breaks...OSU 23 Purdue 16

#13 Vanderbilt over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 2 ½: Commodores 5-0 SU and ATS and lay points for only the second time this season. Bulldogs come in off the bye week, but the break may hurt more than help since State had finally rediscovered the ability to score points in game at LSU before the intermission...Vandy 13 MSU 7

#14 Utah over WYOMING giving 23 ½: No shame in Utes’ narrow victory over seemingly-underrated Oregon State. Cowboys have failed to cover this year (0-5) and have scored a total of three points over its past three games. Only real question here is how many fingers Wyoming’s Coach Glenn will flash at Utah’s Coach Whittingham this year!...Utah 35 Wyoming 7

#15 Boise State over SOUTHERN MISS giving 12: Eagles are 3-2 ATS on the year but are still having problems with points-against. USM allowed an average of 5 more ppg last season than in ‘06 (24 per game) and are allowing 29.2 to-date this year. Boise is basically a crap-shoot when laying points on the road, but we’ll back a team that can win outright in Eugene, Oregon. A dozen looks do-able for... Boise State 31 USM 17

Colorado over #16 KANSAS taking 14: No faith in this pick either. Counting neutral site games/bowls, Buffs are just 2-9-1 ATS the last two-plus years away from Boulder, but Jayhawks just don’t seem to be the same bunch they were last year. With trip to Norman looming and having overcome a four-turnover-laced 20-point deficit to beat Iowa State late last week, Kansas isn’t gettin’ the respect from Vindicator this time...KU 24 Bison 17

#18 Virginia Tech: IDLE (next @ Boston College)

#19 South Florida: IDLE (next vs. Syracuse)

Arkansas over #20 AUBURN taking 19: We considered this for “lock”. Those who watched last Saturday morning’s College Gameday broadcast may have heard Kirk Herbstreit utter, “Vindy...I mean Vandy...could win this game (against Auburn)”. Freudian slip?? Karma??! Hmmm. Razorbacks haven’t logged a spread win and Auburn’s on an 0-5 run. In common foe comparison, we find Arkie beating UL-Monroe at home (OK, Little Rock, not Fayetteville, but still...) 28-27, while Aubie whacked those same Warhawks at home 34-0. Pigs have averaged just over 10 ppg through the past three matches this season, meaning Auburn needs about 30 to cover. Can the War Eagles even muster 19? The little voice in Vindy’s head is screamin’ ”Soooooooeeeyy Pig, Pig, Pig!”...Auburn 17 Arkansas 5

Notre Dame over #22 NORTH CAROLINA taking 7: We changed our initial choice here and frankly, we’d be happy with a push when it’s said and done. Irish are mediocre 9-9-1 against the line away from South Bend under Charlie Weis. Tarheels blocked three punts and got three more turnovers from the Huskies to win last week. Anybody else out there think the respective political primary schedules earlier this year kinda’ resembled Notre Dame’s football slate???!!!Trip to Maine, anybody??? No shocker here if ND pulls the upset, but we’ll just call it...UNC 24 Catholics 20

#23 Michigan State over NORTHWESTERN giving 2 ½: Wildcats have made significant strides on scoring defense, dropping from last season’s 31 ppg allowed to current 12.4 ppg allowed and have been nice 9-3 ATS as home dogs the last four-plus years. NW won the OT shootout 48-41 in 2007, but of Penn State’s remaining opponents this year, it’s Michigan State he fears the most...Spartans 19 NW 13

#24 Pittsburgh: IDLE (next @ Navy)

#25 Ball State over WESTERN KENTUCKY giving 16: On just 8 first-downs and around 13 flags for 113 penalty yards, the Hilltoppers kept Virginia Tech off the scoreboard in the 4th Quarter (in Blacksburg) and helped Vindy get his 10 forecast wins in Week Six. But Western KY could be beat up after five straight road games vs. I-A teams without a break and scored more than 13 only once in those five. Cardinals need to hit the thirties to cover. Not including the 48 they laid on I-AA Northeastern, they’re posting 38 per game...Birds 41 WKU 17

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
It’s been announced that The Lion King will replace Mamma Mia on stage here in Vegas following the end of the ABBA-based musical. Guess the success of the new show will depend on whether the “Lion King” in question is of the NCAA’s Nittany variety or the NFL’s Detroit variety!

JoePa was absent from the sideline this past week as a sore knee forced him into the coaches’ booth high above the field for the Purdue game. Seems Coach injured himself demonstrating the onside kick during practice in August. Apparently, the venerable coach not only made the appropriate kick, he also leapt high into the air among the “good-hands teams” from both sides and recovered the ball!

The Badgers get their suspended band back this week. Good thing too....it was really weird watching the Buckeyes’ marching band run back-and-forth across the field between possessions and listening to it play Wisconsin’s fight song last week at half-time!

Red Sox hurler Dice-K was honored with a Japanese postage stamp earlier this year. Rumor has it that envelopes bearing the gyro-baller’s likeness move so quickly through the mail-sorting machines that they actually disappear temporarily, then re-appear on the other side.

Secretary of the Swedish Academy Horace Engdahl dissed American writers last week, noting, ”...Europe still is the center of the literary world...not the United States”. Your humble host wasn’t havin’ any of that crap and immediately faxed over a copy of Vindy’s Picks! Upon reviewing the material, Engdahl held his ground, but the remaining members of the panel that awards the Nobel prize for literature this week broke into a chant of “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!”

In related news, the Pope has initiated a week-long reading marathon to boost popularity of the Bible. Coincidentally, the Weber Kid has kicked-off a similar fortnight event marathon to plug Vindy’s Picks!

Black Shirt: Your not-quite-omniscient narrator awards his weekly Black Shirt to Chris Summers, Lee Tiffin and Wes Bynum...kickers of Purdue, ‘Bama and Auburn, respectively, for botching multiple FGs and/or PATs that likely preserved covers by Penn State, Kentucky and Vanderbilt (also respectively)!

“Locked in a Box?”: OK...the Cowpokes made Vindicator sweat a bit, not scoring the covering TD until the final 1:48, but they came through vs. A&M, raising the lock record to 5-1 (.833).

Shoppe Talk: The Auburn War Eagles finally fall from their Shoppe perch with a forecast “W” by appropriately losing SU to Vandy (but the GPS bands on their tiny little feet give Vindy the ability to locate them quickly!). Moving into “watch” status...Wisconsin (1-4), Mizzou (with three straight forecast losses) and the Decoys of Oregon (also with the recent hat-trick of forecast “L”s!)

Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 15-9-1 (.625)
FRESNO STATE -32 1/2 over Idaho, Tulsa -25 over SMU, Temple +8 1/2 over CENTRAL MICHIGAN, Toledo +17 over MICHIGAN, ARMY -1over Eastern Michigan

Vindicator’s super-power of locating and using a losing best bet pick on a parlay, dormant during Week Five (musta’ been that red sun that found its way into Earth’s orbit), re-activated last week on full alert and cost Vin another winning two-team ticket (by half-a-freakin’-point!)

Vindy's Picks Week 6-2008

2008-09-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

FAVRE TIES JOE, TAKES ON COMMERCIAL REDUX

EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey (ITAR-Tass)....Shortly after tossing six touchdown passes, tying a Jets’ record set by Joe Namath over three decades ago, in a wild victory over the Arizona Cardinals, Bret Favre reneged on an earlier August statement in which he was quoted as saying, “I’m here for one reason. Not to make commercials. I’m here to help the Jets win.” The former Southern Miss QB and Packers’ legend agreed to reprise Broadway Joe’s role in the now-classic 1970's commercial for Noxema shaving cream, which featured Farrah Fawcett, during the upcoming bye week While several names have been bandied about as co-stars, such as Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, Hannah Montana, Hayden Panettiere and Ashley Olsen, Sarah Palin has offered to “lose the school-marm specs and feather the hair” to lean on her beauty queen past and remake the commercial in an effort to plug the campaign in the Big Apple and the surrounding metro area! The Republican candidate is also rumored to be taking some snaps from a few yards deep behind center two weeks from now at home against the Bengals because the New York front office heard she was good with the shotgun!

Vindy turned in a lackluster 7-7-1 (39-40-1, .493) for Week Five, but his preferred picks (lock of da’ week and best bets) went a profitable 5-1as the canines crooned this week (covering 11 of 14, with one push). Compiled on a short week with more intuition than information, more vermouth than truth and more numbness than numbers, it’s...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(now melamine-free)

WED. OCT. 1
#17 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 22: No faith in this pick as Vindy went back-and-forth a couple times before settling on the fave. Broncos have beaten the Bulldogs by at least two touchdowns four years in a row, Tech is abysmal 5-18 against the line getting points away from Ruston. LT is also 1-3 ATS last quartet vs. Boise, but knocked off Mississippi State in the home opener, got shutout 29-0 at Kansas, then beat double-A Southeast Weeziana by 15. Will the real Bulldogs please step forward.! Good guess for “wish I had it back”, but...Broncos 38 Tech 8

THURS. OCT. 2
#10 SOUTH FLORIDA over Pittsburgh giving 13 1/2: Panthers had to rally from 11-point 3rd Quarter hole at Syracuse last week and despite 3-1 record, Pitt is only 1-3 against the number. Bulls finally showed signs of being the juggernaut Vindy expected back in August, putting NC State away on the road by halftime... USF 38 Pitt 16

#15 UTAH over Oregon State giving 11 1/2: Utes went up 34-7, then let a couple other guys take turns under center vs. Weber State. Incredible letdown opportunity for the Beavers off second upset of the Trojans in three years but back on the road against a ranked team. State can take advantage of visit by Wazzou next Saturday, but here it’s ...Utah 29 OSU 14

FRI. OCT. 3
#8 Brigham Young over UTAH STATE giving 30: Mormons enter this one rested after defeating last two foes by combined total of 103-0. Any questions? BTW, anybody else out there think the “Y” in Yahoo looks conspicuously like the one on the side of Brigham Young helmets?!...Cougars 41 Aggies 3

SAT. OCT. 4
#1 Oklahoma over BAYLOR giving 26: One of the trio of faves to actually cover in last week’s forecast was Oklahoma, who likes playing in Waco, missing only one cover in the last half-dozen visits (and only then by 1 ½ points). Bares are competitive in their first season under new coach Art Briles, but just 4-12 ATS vs. fellow Big 12 clubs the past two years. We’re expecting a much better showing from the chalk this week, including this one... Sooners 54 Baylor 14

Kentucky over #2 ALABAMA taking 16 ½: Figuring a slight letdown for ‘Bama off nice upset win over Joja’. Back in Week Two, we ignored a stat, which updated with this season’s numbers, now shows Tide as 3-15 ATS laying points at home. ‘Cats face only four opponents this year who had fewer than 7 wins in 2007 and must improve on the 26 sacks they gave up over final six games last season to have a chance at the victory here. KY doing a nice job defensively, with just one opposing team scoring more than 3 points...Bammy 29 Wildcats 19

#3 LSU: IDLE (next @ Florida)

NEBRASKA over #4 Missouri over taking 11: Coach Pelini called out his team for “bonehead mistakes” after loss to Virginia Tech. In July, the state of Nebraska enacted the “safe haven” law, allowing abandonment of kids as old as 19 at area hospitals without fear of legal consequences. Guess that explains all but the most senior of Huskers players being “accidentally left behind” at the Lincoln Medical Center following Saturday’s shootout defeat!...Tigers 34 Big Redi-Whip 29

#5 Texas over COLORADO giving 13 ½: We thank the Steers, who combined with the Rice Owls to show your host a little Lone Star love and bring home one of Vindicator’s two successful parlay bets last week! Buffaloes pretty much eliminated West Virginia from the national title race a couple weeks back, but fell well-short vs. the Seminoles and we historically get hosed every time we jump on the Bison bandwagon. Three of ‘Horns’ four wins in ‘08 have been by finals of exactly 52-10!...Texas 29 Colorado 14

#6 Penn State over PURDUE giving 12: How good does Penn State’s lashing of the Beavers look right now??!! Lions won every statistical category vs. the Illini (except passing yards, in which they were only two behind). Boilers have now failed to cover five of last six back to last year and were responsible for the only spread loss among Vindy’s Week Five “best bets”. Line’s reasonable given State’s first road trip this year and the Choo-Choos have covered two of the last four years, but assuming a better defensive effort this week, we’ll stay with the blue-and-white. We are...Penn State 30 Purdue 15

KANSAS STATE over #7 Texas Tech taking 7: In view of Wildcats’ loss at Louisville and scant 8-point victory at home over Weeziana-Lafayette, it would be way too easy to lay the points with Tech’s “Air Raid” offense, but TTU hasn’t beaten anybody of note, tripping up Reno on the road and smoking two FCS teams and C-USA bottom-feeder SMU. For all its potency, Texas Tech has only 6 covers in 18 tries as a road fave in last four-plus seasons....Raiders 38 K-State 34

#23 Oregon over #9 USC taking 18: Trojans haven’t suffered back-to-back straight-up defeats since Pete Carroll’s first year as coach in 2001 (when USC actually dropped four in a row!). Decoys are 17-7 ATS taking points away from the Pond since start of 2000 season, though just 5-3 the last two years. The Mallards won 24-17 last year in Eugene. Troy now 9-2 ATS vs. last 11 ranked opponents. After reading an article last week about NASA’s deployment of rubber ducks inside a Greenland glacier to determine how melting water moves through ice, USC coaches elected to forgo the usual film sessions to flood the Coliseum and release 11 rubber ducks of their own to study how Oregon might attack on offense during Saturday’s game..Troy 34 Quack Attack 24.

#11 Georgia: IDLE (next vs. Tennessee)

#12 Florida over ARKANSAS giving 23: Recently, a pig as large as a small pony held a woman hostage in her Australian home for ten days. The mutant porker, who was identified only as “Bruce” and tipped the scales at 176 pounds, apparently spent many evenings banging its head on the woman’s door before running off. Authorities were able to catch the uniform number, however, how the Arkansas player got “down under” to begin with is still a mystery and school officials back in the U.S. aren’t naming names, but given the weight and head-banging behavior, the athlete in question is either a safety or a special teams player...Gators 45 Bacon Strips 13

#19 VANDERBILT over #13 Auburn taking 4: OK...Tigers have four SU wins, a lone spread win and exactly ZERO forecast wins! The Auburn defense is -135 this week to outscore its offensive counterparts! Vandy came into 2008 with 4-9 spread record getting points in Nashville, but won outright in its only home dog role to-date vs. South Carolina. Commodores are 4-0 SU and ATS...and snag the upset...Admirals 17 Auburn 16

#18 WISCONSIN over #14 Ohio State taking 2 ½: Only third time since mid-2003 as a home dog for the Badgers (and they covered the previous two), who haven’t lost a game at Camp Randall under Coach Bielema (now in his third season), but State is only the second ranked team to visit Wisky in the last 28 matches. Buckeyes have yet to hang a “W” in the spread column...Cheeseheads 17 OSU 14

#16 Kansas over IOWA STATE giving 13: Line looks a tad low for a Jayhawks squad that had South Florida on the ropes on the road before a defensive collapse cost it the loss and Cyclones should’ve lost to UNLV. Vin chalks up Kansas’ 24-point win over Sam Houston State to lack of interest...Kansas 34 Dust Devils 14

Western Kentucky over #20 VIRGINIA TECH taking 28: While Tech could be up 14-0 early in the 1st Quarter before the Hokies offense even gets outta’ the tunnel if Hilltoppers gets possession to start the game, we like the defense to dominate while a couple strings of reserves get some reps at home in the middle of four road games that mean more to VT...Beamer Ball 24 Western Kentucky 0

#21 OKLAHOMA STATE over Texas A&M giving 24: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Texas A&M in each of last four seasons, one opponent has played it a lot closer than it should’ve. Arkansas State and Army already qualify this year in that category. Aggies have gone 10-5-1 ATS the last two years against other Big 12 teams, but this year’s group looks seriously out-of-synch under former Green Bay coach Mike Sherman. Courtesy of Marc Lawrence’s Playbook...A&M has covered only twice in last 35 outright losses. Cowpokes definitely enjoying the homefield this year, hitting the 50's in each game. They do so again...OKSU 54 TAMU 24

Hawaii over #22 FRESNO STATE taking 22 1/2: ‘Bows on 4-10 spread run, including 2-6 away from the Islands. Having gone up by three just 90 seconds into the 2nd Quarter, Fresno coach Pat Hill went for 2 following the TD. What the hell was that about?! The failed attempt cost Vindy a loss instead of a push. Bi-polar Bulldogs defense seems to play to level of opponent’s D. Combined, these two have one cover in 7 tries on the season...FSU West 35 Hawaii 20

#24 Connecticut over NORTH CAROLINA taking 7: Huskies rallied from 10 down to score the final 10 points in the last 5 ½ minutes of the game (7 on an INT return for touchdown) to get by Louisville and own a pair of three-point triumphs over also-powerhouses Temple and Baylor. Carolina has covered 7 of last 11 going back to ‘07, but what do the Heels have in the tank following tough games against Virginia Tech and Miami?....Huskies 21 Tarheels 17

#25 Wake Forest: IDLE (next vs. Clemson 10/9)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, fans finding and returning any wayward rubber duckies to the Trojans athletic department can exchange them for a free hotdog and beer at the SoCal home game of their choice!

Having reeled off four straight losses (SU and ATS), the Eastern Michigan Eagles have elected to suspend their 2008 football campaign “until this whole financial crisis thing is resolved!”

Late in the 1st Quarter of the Saints loss to Denver two weeks ago, Martin Grammatica booted a nifty 43-yard FG that split the uprights, but upon further review, referee Ed Hochuli ruled the kick fell short and awarded possession to Denver...at the New Orleans one-yard line!

Native Alaskan Sarah Palin believes her home state’s relative proximity to Russia gives her sufficient foreign policy experience to be vice president. Applying the same logic then, the Republican running mate is also qualified to coach in the Canadien Football League and the NHL!

The UCLA math department whiz kids just found a prime number with 13 million digits. Almost as many as a Peyton Manning audible!

Bruce Springsteen was announced this week as the halftime performer for this season’s Super Bowl. Online responses note the most popular choices for the anticipated four-song set to be “Born to Run “, “Glory Days”, “Cover Me” and “No Surrender”, but Vindicator offers a fifth, albeit lesser-known, selection...”Loose Ends”!

As many as six former NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to science for purposes of concussion research after their demise. Vindicator submits there a few current players who have already done so pre-mortem!

True pigskin fans have realized we’re in the middle of that wonderful time of the season in which there is/was at least one football game, pro or college, each night since Thursday, September 25 through Monday, October 6!

Last Wednesday morning, Dodger Stadium security took a man into custody after he got on the field while impersonating a ball-player. The man could get as much four years behind bars if found guilty. An unidentified front office staffer for Los Angeles, however, told media the Dodgers would seek to trade him for some pitching help or designate him for assignment to its double-A farm team if exonerated!

Trying to break a team batting slump back in May, Chicago White Sox players placed inflatable dolls on a couch and surrounded them with “strategically-placed” bats. It worked...but ironically, the dolls would also collectively finish with a batting average of .314 and nearly 100 RBI.

Black Shirt: the Sin City Soothsayer awards this week’s Black Shirt recognition to....to the Rice Owls for not letting off the throttle vs. the Lean Green while helping Vindy complete one of his first two successful two-team parlays of the season as noted earlier!

“Locked in a Box?”: No tainted ground beef this week as Texas hammered Arkansas and took the lock tally up again to 4-1 (.800). (BTW, loyal readers can refer to Vindy as “MAC Daddy” this week after Mid-Americans Northern Illinois and Bowling Green teamed up to provide the other winning parlay!)

Shoppe Talk: Bama gets off the schnide with a big win over Joja’, but in-state rival Auburn forces Vin to open the aviary wing at 0-5!

Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 13-7-1 (.650)
MINNESOTA -8 over Indiana, Maryland -14 over VIRGINIA, Northern Illinois +16 ½ over TENNESSEE, Akron -3 ½ over KENT STATE

Vindy's Picks Week 5-2008

2008-09-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

PIGSKIN KEY TO NEW TV SEASON

HOLLYWOOD, California (MSNBC)....In the aftermath of the writers’ strike earlier this year and as networks pin their hopes for high ratings on returning series and new shows making debuts this week, one thing was clear.... football will be an integral part of this season’s Fall line-up. Perusing the TV Guide, we find...on FOX...a former Penn State linebacker battles another Happy Valley alum-turned forecaster-turned machine who stalks an athlete who could save the future in...”Vindicator: The Dan Connor Chronicles”! Turning to cable fare such as Bravo, it’s... Carson Kressley of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy fame helping quarterbacks feel better about their nude bodies on the gridiron as he hosts...”How to Look Good on a Naked Bootleg” and retired coaches trying to find appropriate on-and-off-the-field companionship for their old playbooks on the game show, “Date My X’s and O’s”. Flipping to ABC...athletes get the joy of playing in their new digs after major renovations to their stadiums in...”Extreme Makeover: Homefield Edition”. But hoping to win the November sweeps, the Peacock will counter its competitors’ drivel by airing “Lipstick Jungle”, which follows the trials and tribulations of the Arkansas Razorbacks; a nostalgic thriller in which The Hof goes back to college as a student at Rutgers University and fights crime with the help of a talking car in...”Scarlet Knight Rider” and its secret weapon...a reality/game show piece with children cheering on their fathers, who enjoy casual sports-betting, as they compete against each other with a handicap in various competitive events on...“My Dad’s Better Than Your Dad...Against the Spread!”

And just because inquiring minds wanna’ know...after posting a 9-7 record for Week Four (32-33-1, .492), the perplexing prophet traversed the red carpet at the Emmys this weekend wearing Converse, Wrangler jeans, Fruit of the Loom and NFL Pro Shop gear! Oh...and Michael Jordan’s underwear...uh...that MJ gave Vindy to wear...while carrying a draft version of....

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 5 FORECAST
(Now with “a little Captain” in them!)

THURS. SEPT. 25
OREGON STATE over #1 Southern Cal taking 25: Trojans coming off second bye already this season and cover better than 75% of the time with a week’s rest (they certainly did against the Buckeyes!). Only concern here is USC’s 7-11 ATS track record last two years against other PAC-10 teams. Beavers have also covered Trojans’ last three visits to Corvallis. State’s new D has had three games together now to gel a bit and this could be a slight trap game with SoCal looking forward to the Ducks. Vindy suffered his first Thursday night loss last week. Will it be two?... USC 27 OSU 7

SAT. SEPT. 27
#24 Texas Christian over #2 OKLAHOMA taking 17 1/2: Rested Sooners have dented the scoreboard for 52 or more points in all three games to-date. Horny Toads actually won SU 17-10....in Norman, when they last met (2005). Sooners on 11-3 ATS run laying points at home. Frogs have beat the line 8 straight times getting more than a TD out-of-conference. TCU’s number of spread wins has fallen each of the last two years, but it’s 3-0 so far. Looking for the Toads to play enough defense...OK 31 TCU 20

#8 Alabama over #3 GEORGIA taking 7: Joja dodged a couple bullets in narrow victory over South Carolina and really haven’t been challenged otherwise (sorry, iffy Arizona State team that lost to UNLV doesn’t count as a “challenge” at this point). Tide rushed for better than 9 ypc vs. Bumbling Boars of Arkansas and should be able to win this on defense. Your humble narrator has yet to pick Bama on the right side of the spread this season and the Dawgs have beaten the last five ranked squads they’ve faced...four by double-digits. What’s the worst that could happen? This one went to Joja in OT last year...Alabama 24 Georgia 19

Mississippi over #4 FLORIDA taking 23: Vols were sloppy last week and Gators took advantage. Rebels saw the Tebow Show last season and lost by only six with Florida laying more than three touchdowns. Ole Miss also defeated the Crocs on its last trip to the Swamp, 20-17, in 2003. Points here are too good to pass up... Florida 24 Mississippi 16

Mississippi State over #5 LSU taking 24: Last year’s 45-0 loss to the Bengals, failure to cover ten of last eleven against LSU and total of 19 points scored in three lined games this season do not bode well for the Bulldogs here, yet they seem to play more inspired ball in conference games, going 15-17 ATS the last four-plus seasons vs. the SEC... Tigers 27 MSU 9

#6 Missouri: IDLE (next @ Nebraska)

#7 TEXAS over Arkansas giving 27 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Back in Week Three, Vin had the Steers tabbed to cover this one before Mother Nature forced a change of plans and nothing’s happened since then to make him rethink that choice, especially in light of Hogs embarrassing loss to Bama last weekend. Tide had four scoring plays of 62 yards or more...two on defense. Good news for Razorbacks seniors who don’t get selected in this Spring’s NFL draft...they can always star in make-up commercial between rounds...’Horns 51 Pigs 17

#9 Wisconsin over MICHIGAN giving 6 ½: Badgers ended Big Blew’s eight-game winning streak late last year and haven’t eaten a spread loss against Michigan since 1999. Wolverines are 10-4-2 ATS the past two years against the Big Tentative conference, but just 0-2-1 playing Wisky. Smallish line is either reflection of Badgers’ defensive struggle at Fresno or indication Michigan hasn’t been ruled out as a player in the conference...yet...Badgers 28 Michigan 16

#10 Texas Tech: IDLE (next @ Kansas State)

#11 BYU: IDLE (next @ Utah State 10/3)

#12 PENN STATE over #22 Illinois giving 14: Something has to give. Illini are just 6-10 ATS getting points on the road the last four years and have a suspect defense. Nifty Lions have covered only four of last 16 conference matches. Illinois is off a bye following 20-17 squeaker at home over...UL-Laugh-At-Us?...The Alma Mater 42 Illinois 20

NC STATE over #13 South Florida taking 8 ½: UPSET SPECIAL. Bulls have won their last three FBS games by 7, 3 and 8...all spread losses. Wolfpack has to feel good about beating ranked East Carolina team last week after otherwise poor start to this season. Big Least squads have definitely shown some vulnerability to lesser opponents ...NCSU 24 USF 21

Minnesota over #14 OHIO STATE taking 18: This game got “lock” consideration. Golden Gerbils seemingly have solved some problems on defense after yielding almost 100 yards per game more than in 2006 and have limited two stout offenses, Bowling Green and Florida Atlantic, to nominal points en route to current 4-0 SU record this season. Minny covered its first game vs. State in five tries last year...barely. Beanie’s back for the Bucks, but not 100%...OSU 29 Gophers 24

#15 AUBURN over Tennessee giving 6 ½: Tigers had the LSU game in-hand and let it get away...and Vindy watched the debauchery unfold in the second half. While Aubie looked good on defense, special teams play was horrific with the Tigers missing two opportunities to recover two muffed punts by the Bengals and two dismal punts of their own in the third and fourth quarters. Auburn can’t afford another conference loss. In a rematch of the 2004 SEC title game (won by Auburn 38-28), we like...War Eagles 24 Rocking Chair Top 14

#16 WAKE FOREST over Navy giving 15 1/2: Deacons are not-real-inspiring 4-10 ATS laying points at home last four-plus years, while the Ensigns are 12-6 as a road dog over the same time frame. Wake converted four of seven FG tries to beat Florida State last week. GOP candidate John McCain was on-hand to watch the Middies topple Rutgers last week while attending a class reunion. The senator was overheard reminiscing about his days at the Academy, wearing animal furs and iron helmets with horns while exploring the seas off Annapolis in ships powered by a dozen guys wielding oars in the water!...Wake Forest 29 Admirals 6

Weber State @ #17 UTAH: No line (and no relation!)

#18 Kansas: IDLE (next @ Iowa State)

#19 Boise State: IDLE (next at Louisiana Tech 10/1)

Maryland over #20 CLEMSON taking 11 ½: Tigers appear to be losing support quickly based on continuing drop of this line in favor of the Terps. Box Turtles already have one upset as a double-digit dog this season. We don’t think it’s gonna’ be two, but at 0-2 ATS plus a pair of wins over double-A teams, Tigers’ “Thunder & Lightning” is starting to look more like “Thumbellina & Light Weight”...Clemson 21 Maryland 15

#21 Vanderbilt: IDLE (next vs. Auburn)

#23 EAST CAROLINA over Houston giving 10 ½: This game also got some initial thoughts for “lock” by your host. Pirates were only 1-4 ATS as chalk in 2007 and are already 0-2 in that mode this year. Still, we prefer the Buckos’ season history that includes two ranked victims over that of the Houston Cougars, who, in a “best bet” role last week for Vindicator, not only failed to cover, they failed to even win against Colorado State squad whose most significant achievement to-date was a 23-20 squeaker over FCS team Sacramento State!...ECU 34 Houston 17

#25 Fresno State over UCLA giving 7: Bulldogs were out-gained 598-410 on offense in double-OT win over Toledo, and only snatched the victory when the Rockets failed on a 2-point conversion. Bruins are in disarray and scored their only touchdown on a one-yard fumble return last week in loss vs. Arizona. If Fresno D that held Wisconsin under two TDs shows up, UCLA could be shutout for second time in three games...FSU 20 UCLA 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, the latest reality show being shot in Vegas is... “Paris Hilton: BFF”...In the texting world, that’s Betting Friends Forever

And in a statement NOT made up by Vindicator, the man who was tasked to transform the “Knight Rider” movie into a TV series said it could potentially “go three (episodes) and out”!

In recognition of this week’s UNLV-UNR game, Vindicator bypasses the usual word-processing computer program this week and will just transmit the picks via text message on a State-funded gubernatorial cell-phone!

Analysis of the Irish intern’s laptop that was removed from the Notre Dame coaching booth this weekend over concerns of cheating revealed it was only used during the game to visit Facebook, My Space and World of Warcraft!

Last January, Britt Reid (son of Eagles coach Andy) pleaded guilty to DUI stemming from Aug 07 incident in which Reid drove his car into a shopping cart. Fortunately, the cart’s operator sustained only minor injury when the front and side airbags deployed!

Anticipating the foul stench of the performance of their teams this season, fans of the Detroit Lions, North Texas Eagles and Idaho Vandals conducted preseason tailgate practices in Beijing!

During the Simpson trial this week, jurors heard tape of a recorded phone call in which OJ was whistling the Wizard of Oz staple “If I Only Had a Brain” in the background. Alleged victims on the night of alleged (BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!) robbery were also heard asking “Are you a good witch...or a bad witch?” Personally, we think the former running back didn’t really give a damn about the jerseys, rookie cards and family photos, but was simply after the ruby cleats ....uh...we mean....slippers...um...whatever.

Correction: Last week’s lead story made reference to Charlotte’s Web pig Wilson. The actual name of the porker in that story was Wilbur. We take solace in noting at least we had a sports tie-in since Wilson was the volleyball companion of Tom Hanks in Castaway! Wilson was actually available for comment...but made none!

Black shirt: Vindy awards his Black Shirt this week to the Pilots of Air Force for hanging tough (and just close enough for Vindy to get the spread win) against Utah last week.

“Locked in a Box?”: The Mormons appropriately blew out Wyoming, pushing the lock record up to 3-1 (.750).

Shoppe Talk: Vindicator pours a nice, big glass of Chinese milk for the Crimson Tide, who is now 0-4 and a major front-runner for post-season “honors” as “Grill-Master Supreme”! Several War Eagle beaks now adorn an entire Shoppe wall as Auburn also burned your fab forecaster for the fourth straight time in as many tries!

Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-2-1 (ouch!) Season: 9-6-1 (.600)
Northern Illinois -6 1/2 over EASTERN MICHIGAN, Purdue +2 over NOTRE DAME, Bowling Green -3 1/2 over WYOMING, SAN DIEGO STATE -11½ over Idaho, RICE -18 over North Texas

Vindy's Picks Week 4-2008

2008-09-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

“LIPSTICK” GAFFE LEADS TO ENDORSEMENT DEAL

FAYETTEVILLE, Arkansas (AP)....Doing some damage control this week and potentially at the loss of support from the traditionally-Democratic local city, the Obama camp put out word that the Illinois senator’s comment about putting “lipstick on a pig” was actually an inadvertent reference to the Arkansas Razorbacks football team in a momentary lapse of concentration, not an attack on Republican candidate Sarah Palin. Apparently, in the midst of Obama’s criticisms of the McCain economic policy, the radio frequency on his earpiece accidentally picked up a sports program broadcast noting the Razorbacks escape with a mere 28-27 victory at home over Louisiana-Monroe last week, distracting the Democratic presidential hopeful, who now can’t even so much as order a strip of bacon or...Heaven forbid...”pigs in a blanket” at a Denny’s restaurant without political ramifications, long enough for him to mutter the disparaging comments about the team. Seizing the opportunity for product exposure throughout the college football world, representatives from make-up giant Revlon contacted the SEC school and offered an endorsement deal. University officials quickly accepted the contract terms. Obama, said if I really meant to insult her, I would’ve simply said things like ‘When Palins fly’, ‘Palin in a poke’ or “In a Palin’s eye!’”. Barack did, however, continue on to note the Republicans do “live high on da’ hog!” Babe, Porky Pig, Pig Pen , Piglet and Wilson from Charlotte’s Web did not immediately return media phone calls.

In January, an asteroid originally thought to be on a collision course with Mars missed, but it did circle back and crash into...Vindy’s Week Three picks (5-12-1, 23-26-1, .469), resulting in his first sub-.500 week of the season! Vindicator dons tin foil underwear, a la the movie Signs, to keep the bookies from reading his..uh...mind! (Although wearing the bra on his head a la Weird Science has been effective in the past too!)

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(co-sponsored this week by...Max Factor and Maybelline)

THURS. SEPT. 18
#21 West Virginia over COLORADO giving 3: Before the bye, Buffs and their very young offense defeated I-AA squad Eastern Washington by a touchdown and are 3-6 ATS as a home dog the last four years. Mounties are 9-5-2 as chalk away from Morgantown and have had two weeks to stew about horrible performance in 20-3 loss to ECU. Earlier this summer, WVU QB Pat White criticized the school’s baseball coach for not pursuing more black athletes. He later apologized. Being a stand-up guy, Coach Greg Van Sant accepted the apology, but not before having the quarterback crouch behind the plate and field a few heaters from the staff ace...sans catcher’s mitt...’Eers 19 Bison 9

SAT. SEPT. 20
#1 USC: IDLE (next 9/25 @ Oregon State)

#2 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. TCU)

#3 Georgia over ARIZONA STATE giving 7: ‘Dawgs must be livin’ right considering they got a critical fumble and a late pick that got ‘em past a pesky South Carolina team. Devils were basically equal with or slightly better stat-wise than UNLV except in one category...TOP. Rebels held the ball five minutes more than ASU. Expect more focus from State this week, but Devils are just 3-8 ATS in last 11 vs. ranked teams, including blowout by Texas in last year’s bowl game...Joja’ 27 ASU 14

#4 Florida over TENNESSEE giving 7 1/2: Vols are 4-0-1 ATS getting points at home the past two years, but the Gators own three straight outright wins over Rocky Top (2-1 ATS), including last year’s 59-20 drubbing. Crocs seem to be just below the radar while quietly dismantling their first two opponents. This summer, Vols punter Britton Colquitt pleaded guilty to drinking and driving and leaving the scene of an accident. Colquitt hit another parked car and a tree during the February incident. He was suspended for the first five games of the ‘08 season. However, he did manage to drive the car outta’ bounds inside the 20, and neither the parked car nor the tree could manage a return... Crocs 20 Vols 10

#5 MISSOURI over Buffalo giving 34: Bulls, who return 18 starters, are now 10-5 ATS under Coach Gill, but lost by 11 at struggling Pittsburgh and had difficulty getting past Temple at home last week. Meanwhile, the Tigers piled up 651 yards of offense and ran their non-conference spread record to 9-1 with romp over the Wolfpack. Mizzou gets a week off next before Big 12 play starts...Tigers 48 Bulls 10

#10 AUBURN over #6 Louisiana State taking 2 1/2: We’re about to find out if the Tigers were worthy of one of Vindy’s BCS Championship futures bets this August. Auburn’s covered last three vs. the Bengals with final margins of 3, 4 and 6 (with the only SU win being 2006 at Auburn). State is paltry 6-16-4 ATS in conference tilts over the last three seasons. Was the scoreboard at Davis Wade Stadium in Starkville down to its last lightbulb at kickoff last Saturday??!! Given Tigers’ 3-2 win over Mississippi State, we’re thinking Coach Tuberville lifted starter QB Codi Burns and brought in Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz in the bottom of the 4th quarter to save the win!...Auburn 10 LSU 9

#7 TEXAS over Rice giving 30: Third straight away game for the Owls, whose thoughts may be back home in Houston. Rice has covered only 1 of last 5 vs. the Steers, but have beaten the line in five of last seven back to last season and have won 3 of 5 SU as a dog. Texas got an unscheduled week off to prepare... Horns 48 Owls 13

#8 Wisconsin: IDLE (next @ Michigan)

ARKANSAS over #9 Alabama taking 9 1/2: Under provisions of the Revlon deal, freshmen players must actually wear the lipstick (shade of their choice) during all Arkansas home games, while all others simply have to sport the Rocky Horror Picture Show lips logo on the backside of their uniform pants. Hopin’ Arkansas will be Vindy’s “cover” girl...Tide 19 Pretty in Pink... uh...”pig”.. .er...16

Massachusetts @ #11 TEXAS TECH: No line.

FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL over #12 South Florida taking 28: Bulls off wild win over Kansas. Panthers are now 1-25 straight up in last two-plus seasons, but are 4-5-1 ATS as home dogs and lost heartbreaking 21-20 game in only other meeting vs. South Florida back in 2006 as dogs of nearly three touchdowns...USF 28 FIU 3

Troy over #13 OHIO STATE taking 21: Tough to determine psyche of the Buckeyes here following nationally-televised stinker at USC on heels of previous stinker vs. Ohio, and the conference slate looming. Troy beat a Middle Tennessee State club that knocked off a Maryland squad that tripped up Cal. OK, the logic may be flawed, but the Trojans ARE 5-2 ATS in last 7 vs. BCS teams...Ohio State 30 Troy 13

#14 BYU over Wyoming giving 28 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Cougars reiterated message that they are BCS-worthy by steam-rolling UCLA. Cowpokes nearly brought Vindy’s I-AA upset alert last week to fruition, but rallied from a 13-0 hole to boot a FG with 4 seconds left to defeat the North Dakota State Bison...at home! Mormons are 16-8 ATS vs. the Mountain West last three years, while Wyoming is just 5-19-1...BYU 51 Wyoming 7

#15 East Carolina over NC STATE giving 7: First of a four-game homestretch for the Wolfpack, who still appear to be struggling with Coach O’Brien’s new playbook, having scored a total of 9 points vs. two FBS opponents. Pirates turned it over four times and had to rally to beat Tulane last week. We’re setting sail again...ECU 27 NCSU 10

#16 PENN STATE over Temple giving 28: Lions have beaten the Barnyard Birds two years running, including 31-0 in Philly in 2007, and aren’t shying away from putting points on the board vs. weaker opponents this season. State has also now covered 9 of last 11 vs. non-conference teams. We salute former JoePa assistant and now-Temple head coach Al Golden for nice job done making a longtime doormat competitive in the MAC Conference, but the Owls have no shot at an outright victory here unless they’re from the Shaolin Temple...Lions 51 Grasshoppa 9

#17 OREGON over Boise State giving 11: Geez...AGAIN with the quarterback injury for the Ducks! After covering all four non-conference games in 2006, Broncos have fallen to 1-4 ATS vs. non-WAC foes since the start of 2007. Mallards were sloppy, turning it over four times, in OT win over Purdue, but we think there’s enough depth and the Decoys don’t often miss the cover as faves on the Pond...Oregon 38 Boise 20

#18 Wake Forest over #24 FLORIDA STATE taking 4: ‘Noles have only one winning spread record in past seven seasons. Hard to gauge State at this point, with nothing more than two wins over a pair of double-A teams under their belts to-date. FSU did win outright last year in Winston-Salem, but are 13-20 ATS the last four years against the rest of the ACC, including 1-4 vs. Wake. Injuns hung six forecast losses on Vindy in six at-bats last year...Deacon Demons 20 Seminoles 17

Sam Houston State @ #19 KANSAS: No line.

AIR FORCE over #20 Utah taking 7 ½: Pilots have their fewest returning starters (8) since 2004 season (6), but have opened 3-0 and always seem to excel when they get written off in the preseason. They do have plenty of seniors on both sides of the ball and could control the pace enough with the option game to hang close to Utes team showing just enough vulnerability against good clubs to create some doubt. Utah did lose 20-12 in Salt Lake last year. Best guess for “wish I had it back” pick, but...Utah 23 Flyboys 17

#22 Illinois: IDLE (next @ Penn State)

SC State @ #23 CLEMSON: No line.

#25 Fresno State over TOLEDO giving 7: Second choice for “lock”. Bulldogs missed three (count ‘em, THREE) field goals...any one of which would have provided at least a temporary tie...vs. the Badgers, who managed only 13 points themselves. Toledo doesn’t have the huge linemen that Wisky does and will get the brunt of Fresno’s frustration ... Bulldogs 34 Rockettes 6

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Opposing bands will now crank up a rousing version of Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Woman” every time Arkansas has possession.

Black shirt: Vindicator hands this week’s black shirt to ...his alma mater for blasting the Orange in one of only five correct ATS selections last week.

A camel bone found this week in Syria may be one-million years old. DNA found on the bone suggests Joe Paterno may have actually ridden the animal in his childhood at some ancient petting zoo near the archaeological site!

Madame Tussaud’s in London is shipping Hitler’s statue back to Germany. In related news, with yet another Simpson trial circus in town, the Vegas branch is sending OJ’s wax likeness back to...USC!

With all due respect to USC and the Oregon schools, given outright wins by UNLV, TCU, BYU and New Mexico over Arizona State, Stanford, UCLA and Arizona, respectively, maybe that organization of teams from the Left Coast should rename itself the Packed It In Ten or at least the Mountain Farther West Conference!

Correction: Last week, we noted a trip to Happy Valley this week might be a distraction for the Illini, when in fact they have a bye this week. Likewise for UNLV and UNR, who don’t play each other until 9/27.

In February, Roger Goodell said Bill Belichick has been taping opponents since 2000. Belichick continues to deny the accusation. We say “Horse hockey!”.....Bill’s been at it so long, he’s got other teams’ defensive signals on Betamax!

“Locked in a Box?”: The Alma Mater came through nicely and blasted the Orange to push the lock record to 2-1 (.667).

Shoppe Talk: The stuffed elephant in the middle of the room that Vindy doesn’t wanna’ talk about is Alabama at 0-3. Still on the perch are the War Eagles of Auburn...also hanging a third forecast loss on your nitwitted narrator!

Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 8-4 (.667)
Iowa +1 over PITT, Houston -6 over COLORADO STATE, Akron -9 ½ over ARMY, Iowa State +2 1/2 over UNLV (Rebels go for their third straight spread win, which hasn’t happened since mid-2001)

And now we’re going to e-mail this week’s picks to announcer Tony Kornheiser...in Spanish!

Vindy's Picks Week 3-2008

2008-09-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

PATS LOSE BRADY, EYE FAVRE ET AL

FOXBORO, Massachusetts (UPI)....In an instant, the 2008 NFL season was rocked. A year-ending knee injury to New England quarterback Tom Brady, followed by a mere seven-point victory over the Kansas City Chiefs led by back-up QB Matt Cassell left the Patriots fans, players and front office scrambling this week to find a suitable replacement. Bookies tired of being bested, by even the most casual of bettors, by bets on New England to cover obnoxious pointspreads last season, had actually considered arranging an “accident” for Brady, but called off Jeff Gillooly at the last minute when the on-field incident happened. The Patriots are holding open try-outs this week and have actually invited such veterans as Art Schlichter, Ryan Leaf and Michael Vick. Vick declined the try-out because his “uh...schedule... wouldn’t permit it”, but did submit a videotaped workout shot in the prison yard. Other invitees included Burt Reynolds, Adam Sandler and America’s Got Talent winner and Vegas-headlining ventriloquist Terry Fator. Said a team spokesperson, “Hey, if the guy can throw his voice 60 yards, he gets a shot with us!”. Insiders, however, say the edge may belong to now-Jets quarterback Brett Favre. Seems team officials noticed the former Packer while reviewing...uh...”game film”...of the Jets sideline coaches while Favre was tossing the pigskin back-and-forth with a waterboy in the background. Said the unidentified Pats staffer, “We didn’t know how really good Favre was until seeing him on tape.” If unable to grab the former Green Bay legend, the Patriots may simply select the best available athlete!

Meanwhile, in the blue corner...weighing 216 pounds...the Dancin’ Destroyer...the King of Sting...the Master of Disaster...oh, wait...that was Apollo Creed! Anyway, hoping to regain some of Week One’s momentum after Week Two’s 9-9 (18-14, .563 season), Vindy answers da’ bell with....

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 3 FORECAST
(now available with Colonel Sanders eleven secret herbs and spices)

FRI. SEPT. 12
#13 Kansas over #19 SOUTH FLORIDA taking 3 1/2: The home team ruined Vindy’s Week Two lock pick by yielding not one, but TWO TDs to Central Florida in the final three minutes of da’ game, sending the game to OT and blowing what would’ve been at least a push. Based on early returns from the Big Creased conference, this could actually be South Florida’s final hurdle to an undefeated year and a trip to the BCS Title game. USF is 5-2 ATS as home chalk the last two years and has covered 4 of last 5 vs. ranked teams, winning the most recent three SU (all as dogs). Kansas has four seniors on the O-line and returns nine defenders from last year’s 12-1 squad. Jayhawks did not however face a team the caliber of South Florida during that run, nor during the first two games of this season. Kansas is a crapshoot the last four years as an away dog, going 7-7 ATS...Jayhawks 27 Bulls 24

SAT. SEPT. 13
#1 USC over #5 Ohio State giving 11: While we wouldn’t be flabbergasted if Buckeyes coach Jim Tressel had simply been playing possum in last week’s less-than-impressive, come-from-behind victory over Ohio University to avoid giving away any football family secrets on game film to USC, the late narrow victory-by-rally might suggest State ain’t ready to contend in this one. Boys of Troy cover about 80% of their games off a bye week and are 3-0 SU and ATS in last three vs. the Big Tenuous (all in the post-season until now)...USC 24 Cecil and Da’ Bean(ie) 12

SOUTH CAROLINA over #2 Georgia taking 7: Last four between these two clubs have been reasonably close, low-scoring (highest total of 36 points) defensive battles, with the Gamecocks covering three of the four (including last year’s SU win). Gamehens QBs have tossed six picks over first two games of ‘08...Joja’ 19 SC 13

#3 Oklahoma over WASHINGTON giving 20: In February, Oklahoma recovered eight forfeited wins back from 2005 after the NCAA appeals committee partially reversed an infractions ruling involving ex-QB Rhett Bomar. Norman faithful would like the victories credited to 2008 season (well, okay...they can manage this one themselves). On the heels of a controversial celebration flag that may have contributed to the blocked XP that woulda’ sent BYU game to OT, if Vindy was a Husky, he’d be staring skyward, arms extended and asking “what in da’ world do we gotta’ do to win one?!” Third straight Top 25 opponent for the Sled Dogs...Sooners 45 Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhington 20

#4 Florida: IDLE (next @ Tennessee)

Nevada-Reno over #6 MISSOURI taking 26 1/2: Wolfpack better ATS (and SU) at home than away and the top rusher is gone for the season. Still, Reno’s loss to Texas Tech might be educational for this one and as evidenced by Illinois game since Tigers’ D might be suspect. UNR has big rivalry game on deck at UNLV and is 5-3 against the number over last two years as a road pup ... Mizzou 42 UNR 27

#7 LSU over North Texas giving 41 1/2: What the Green didn’t need here was for the Bengals to get an unexpected week of rest. Tigers have covered 10 of last 11 laying 24+ vs. out-of-conference teams. Lean Green now 2-11 ATS over previous 2+ seasons playing non-conference squads as the result of being smoked 45-6 by Kansas State...LSU 54 UNT 6

#8 TEXAS over Arkansas giving 24: ‘Horns had possession 14 fewer minutes than UTEP, who committed only a single turnover, yet the stats were about even in all categories. The scoreboard though, was definitely in favor of the Steers. Razorbacks have pocketed 7 SU wins in 8 tries dating back to 2007, but struggled to triumph in four-point and one-point victories this season over double-A Western Illinois and Weeziana-Monroe, respectively. In January ‘08, a pork shortage in China saw “pigjackers” charging off with truckloads of hogs. In fact, Chinese bandits were even seen stealing the Arkansas team bus!...Texas 51 Soooeeeeyyyy Pig 20

#9 Auburn over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 10 1/2: Until last year’s 19-14 outright win (at Auburn) by MSU, Bulldogs had been little more than an appetizer for the Tigers. State’s spread wins have increased by one in each of the previous two seasons. Aubie was careless with the pigskin last week, losing the ball four times, and...scoring only a FG over the final 15 minutes, while missing the cover by 4 points. Hmmm. The road loss by Mis-Statement to Sun Belt’s Weeziana Tech is uppermost in Vindy’s mind. A glutton for punishment (see Shoppe Talk section of this week’s forecast)., we say...War Eagles 23 Bulldogs 10

#10 Wisconsin over #21 FRESNO STATE giving 1 1/2 : Okay, we admit, we were surprised to see Bulldogs win outright at Rutgers two weeks ago. Bulldogs are rested, but we think all that “BCS Buster” silliness gets squelched right here. Line opened with Fresno as the fave. Seems cooler heads have prevailed...Badgers 24 “Any Juan, Any Thyme, Under Wear” 17

Western Kentucky over #11 ALABAMA taking 28: A couple things work against the Tide here. One...lack of interest with a two-game SEC road trip starting next week. Two...’Bama appears to be reverting to win-on-defense philosophy (two of Tide’s three touchdowns last week came via special teams) and three...Green Wave held the Tide offense to 172 total yards. Third straight away game for the Hilltoppers, with two more coming over next three games, but...Alabama 31 Western KY 7

#12 TEXAS TECH over Southern Methodist giving 36 1/2: Wouldn’t be a bad lock choice. Ponies got kicked around at Rice in a 28-point defeat and didn’t blow FCS team Texas State off the field, winning by just 11. June Jones will have a long night coaching a team that gave up 100 more ypg on defense last year than in 2006...Red Raiders 66 SMU 13

#14 East Carolina over TULANE giving 13: Second time in four regular season games that this pair has squared off vs. each other. Tulane defense that stifled Alabama, as previously mentioned, encounters a confident team on a roll that has beaten three straight ranked clubs back to last year’s post-season. Pirates haven’t thrown a shutout since 2000 opener vs. Duke...ECU 27 Green Wave 0

#15 ARIZONA STATE over Nevada-Las Vegas giving 23: Rebels may have given their best shot, if you can call it that, in three-TD loss at Utah, lost their starting middle LB and may look ahead to big rivalry game vs. Reno next week. ASU gave up 55 sacks last season, so unless UNLV gets a decent pass rush on Rudy Carpenter, they won’t be able to trade sixes with the Devils...ASU 42 UNLV 13

#16 Oregon over PURDUE giving 7 1/2: Ducks seem no worse for the wear after putting several young skill-position players on the offensive side of the ball. Purdue would love to give outbound, retiring coach Joe Tiller a nice win over a ranked team, but it ain’t happening. In the midst of an April campaign swing thru Indiana, Hillary Clinton was seen consuming a beer and a shot. Uh oh...kiss of death to... the Boilermakers!...Mallards 34 Purdue 17

#17 Penn State over SYRACUSE giving 27: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Lions enter the Carrier Dome for the first time in 19 years. Earlier this year, audio historian David Giovannoni uncovered what’s thought to be the oldest known recorded human voice on a phonautogram. Researchers believe the 10-second clip from 1860 to be JoePa singing the Penn State school song! Looks like everybody in the Big Least has, at minimum, a puncher’s chance to win the conference...except Syracuse...Lions 49 ex’Cuse me 10

Ucla over #18 BYU taking 8 1/2: Third meeting in last 12 months and Bruins covered both of last season’s matches, winning 27-17 in September and losing 17-16 in the bowl. Mormons here on potentially-borrowed time after blocking the controversial extra-long XP that woulda’ sent Washington game to OT...Coogs 20 UCLA 17

#20 Wake Forest: IDLE (next @ Florida State)

UTAH STATE over #22 Utah taking 24 1/2: Utes nothing special last four years as road favorites. Aggies making nice strides in recent years, scoring on average 10 more ppg, while allowing 5 fewer ppg from ‘06 to ‘07. State did cover the opener vs. UNLV. Aggies have missed the cover against its fellow Bee Hive Staters in four of last six tries, but we like the points anyway ...Utes 30 USU 9

#23 California over MARYLAND giving 14 1/2: Yielding the play-calling to a new offensive coordinator by Coach Friedgen doesn’t seem to be panning out given Maryland’s 14-7 win over Delaware (though, the Blue Hens did lose in last season’s FCS playoffs to eventual champ Appalachian State) and straight up loss to Sun Belt’s Middle Tennessee State last week. We considered this game for “lock” too...Bears 27 Box Turtles 7

#24 ILLINOIS over Louisiana-Lafayette giving 25: Trip to Happy Valley next week could be a distraction for the Illini, but the Ragin’ Cajuns got smoked by Southern Miss and won’t do much here either. UL will probably get a look from your humble host against Kent State next week and might make some noise in Sun Belt play...Illini 48 Cajuns 17

#25 West Virginia: IDLE (next @ Colorado 9/18)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Last week’s Penn State-Oregon State was sooooooooo interesting, ABC showed clips of people being asked “Who (or which) is older...Joe Paterno or _________?” Mozart or JoePa? Sliced bread or JoePa? The Dead Sea scrolls or JoePa? Gunpowder or JoePa? Ummmm...Joe, Joe, Joe and....uh....the coin likes...gunpowder?!

Upset alert: North Dakota State straight up over WYOMING. Cowboys struggled to a 21-20 home victory over Ohio and got blasted by an Air Force squad way short on returning starters. Bison beat Minnesota outright last season.

Like most other Americans, Vindicator put May’s economic stimulus check toward just the necessities...food, fuel and a futures bet on the Patriots to win this season’s Super Bowl!

The Sporting News reported that in light of the Eagles league-low 19 take-aways and zero defensive scores last year, defensive coordinator Jim Johnson now requires his defenders to pick up any fumble, interception or incomplete pass during practice and return it for a touchdown___accompanied by the other 10 defensive players. Guess that explains Philly’s stoppers rushing into the crowd to chase down those thrown-away passes and mounting up the convoy outta’ bounds toward the end zone during Sunday’s opening romp over the Rams!!

In June, Tampa Bay coach Jon Gruden commenting on workouts of Bucs RB Carnell Williams (who is attempting a comeback) quipped “It rivals some of the great Rocky Balboa movies.” In fact “Cadillac” is still running his way up Interstate 95 and hopes to make it up the stairs of Philly’s Library of Congress and back in time for this weekend’s kickoff!

OOPS!: We inaccurately referred to Beavers WR Sammie Stroughter as Sammie Slaughter in last week’s forecast.

Earlier this summer, the Navy reclaimed newly-commissioned officer and St. Louis Cardinals draft pick Mitch Harris. The hurler must fulfill his five-year commitment, but the right-hander was 20-13 with a 2.51 ERA in four years at Navy. Maybe they really just want him in the event the President orders a pre-emptive strike-out!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vin laid the ten-spot with South Carolina “but not without reservation”. Our prestigious prognosticator also had “somewhat of a tough time laying this many (30)...” with Alabama.

“Locked in a Box?”: The Bulls’ very late defensive collapse drops the lock record to 1-1 (.500).

Shoppe Talk: With cost of materials these days, it easier to stuff a war eagle than a tiger as we officially declare Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe open, courtesy of. ...Auburn (0-2), Wisconsin (0-2) and Alabama (0-2).

Vindy’s Week 3 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 5-3 (.625)
Western Michigan -8 over IDAHO, Temple +6 ½ over BUFFALO, Arizona -10 over NEW MEXICO, Bowling Green +16 over BOISE STATE

Until next week...Vin’s off to try out the newest PS3 version of Hurdy-Gurdy Hero!

Vindy's Picks Week 2-2008

2008-09-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

GOP RUNNING MATE’S PAST COULD BE KEY TO FUTURE

ST. PAUL, Minnesota (CNN)....Presumed Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin is no stranger to the sports world and her experience might just impact the remainder of her career. The one-time-Sarah Heath played point guard for her high school’s girls basketball team. Should the electoral vote end in a tie on November 4th, the next presidency could be decided on the hardwood in a game of one-on-one or “HORSE” against Dem representative Barack Obama. Upon hearing news of that possibility, former-president Bill Clinton said he hoped the pair would “consider playing that one as ‘wet T-shirts and skins’”. The Alaskan governor also spent some time as a sportscaster, covering hoops and hockey for the local KTTU television station. She joked, “If the White House thing doesn’t pan out, there’s always ESPN. Ya know? ‘Sarah Palin...next! Duh-duh-DUM, duh-duh-DUM!”

Meanwhile back in Sin City, pleased with a decent 9-5 (.643) opening week, Vindicator heads off to local Sam Boyd Stadium to lead his mai-tai chi class, but not before offering...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 2 FORECAST
(Where ya can still check the first parlay card onto the plane at no extra charge!)

THURS. SEPT. 4
#25 South Carolina over VANDERBILT giving 10: Damn...Vindy was one ranking away from not having to pick another Thursday-nighter! We watched the Gamehens open their season last week and they didn’t really drop the hammer offensively on NC State until the second half. The Boat People apparently took offense to going into Miami-Ohio game as a dog (and frankly, we didn’t give Vandy any preseason love either) and whacked the Redhawks. Commodores are 4-9 ATS getting points at home the last four years. We’re putting our faith in Steve Spurrier, but not without reservation having watched his QB throw three first-half INTs last week...SC 21 Vandy 10

SAT. SEPT. 6
#1 USC: IDLE (next vs. Ohio State)

Central Michigan over #2 GEORGIA taking 23 1/2: First of three away games for the Chippies, who have their highest number of returning starters (8 on each side of the ball) since ‘04 and are expected to contend for MAC Championship hat trick. Have to wonder if drop in rankings after giving up two late meaningless scores to Joja’ Southern will inspire Coach Richt to run up the score a bit if given the chance. Initial thought was take da’ points. We’ll go with that...Dawgs 34 CMU 20

Ohio over #3 OHIO STATE taking 34 ½: Final 43-0 score of Buckeyes game vs. Youngstown State might be just a bit deceiving. Buckeyes booted five FGs, including two from 50 yards or more. Bobblecats had a dozen flags for 115 yards in one-point loss to Wyoming and could grind out a cover if OSU starters get early showers with USC up next. OU has improved to 14-10 ATS the last two seasons after being 7-14 in ‘04 and ‘05...State 34 ‘Cats 7

#4 OKLAHOMA over Cincinnati giving 21: Bearkats have a senior-laden defense and did appropriately dispatch its I-AA opponent, Eastern Kentucky, with little doubt. UC has also gone 7-1-1 ATS in last nine against ranked teams, with six of those nine on the road. Cincy does have its lowest number of starters coming back since 2005. In the wake of recent “work program” problems in Norman, local businesses are now limited to employment of only five Sooners. Players are getting around the new policy by disguising themselves as illegal immigrants!...Okie-Dokie 45 Cincinnati 17

#5 FLORIDA over Miami giving 21 ½: ‘Canes have beaten the Gators outright six straight times, but the last game came in 2004 B.T....”Before Tebow!”. Somebody under center for Da’ U is gonna’ throw his first career live-fire pass and Florida expects to get some injured players back this week...Florida 41 Miami 14

SE Missouri @ #6 MISSOURI: No line.

Troy over #7 LSU taking 24: Troy will show no fear of the Bengals and we like the 5-2 spread record vs. BCS teams in the last two seasons, including 2-1 vs. the SEC in 2007. With only 5 offensive starters back last season, Trojans upped their offensive output by 137 ypg! Local Vegas transplant Andrew Hatch did a nice job in Tigers’ win over App State, but we’ll ignore State’s current 11-1-1 spread run vs. non-conference teams the past three years ... LSU 24 Troy 10

EAST CAROLINA over #8 West Virginia taking 8 1/2: Mounties, not unlike Joja’, also gave up a pair of meaningless 4th quarter touchdowns to Villanova, but it didn’t cost ‘em a spot in the polls. WVU does, however, have only four returning starters on D, while Georgia has nine. With the upset victory last week over the Hokies, Pirates have pocketed their second straight SU win as double-digit dogs (taking into account ECU’s outright bowl win over Boise State last season). It’s not quite DD here and we don’t think the Bucs have a trifecta in ‘em anyway (though we’d love to see it), but...WVU 30 ECU 24

#9 AUBURN over Southern Miss giving 18: Banged-up receiving corps or no, we’re supporting Auburn here. Various spread trends (away dog, non-conference and ranked foes) overwhelmingly go against the Golden Eagles. Six of this season’s SoMiss opponents had four or fewer wins in 2007. Aubie ain’t one of ‘em...War Eagles 29 Southern Miss 6

#10 Texas over UTEP giving 26 ½: Miners defense has deteriorated over each of the past three years and going back to last year, UTEP has dropped seven straight games straight up. ‘Steers handled more-potent Florida Atlantic team last week as predicted. Can’t see that changing here...’Horns 51 UTEP 20

Marshall over #11 WISCONSIN taking 20 1/2: Gerbils blew the cover late last week, yielding a trash TD to Akron with 38 seconds left. Herd showed some life in whacking AA team Illinois State by 25. Badgers seem to play to the level of their competition and are good-but-not-great 14-9 ATS as faves at Camp Randall...Wisconsin 31 Marshall 13

NEVADA-RENO over #12 Texas Tech taking 10: With rumors of PAC-10 expansion with teams like BYU, Wolfpack could be auditioning to help backfill the Mountain West. UNR is 23-14 ATS the last three years, but just 2-4 ATS against last six ranked foes. Best bet here might be the “over” as both teams combined for better than 1260 yards of offense and 98 points last week. Shootout...Red Raiders 41 UNR 35

#13 ALABAMA over Tulane giving 30: We’re having somewhat of a tough time laying this many with a Tide team that’s only covered 2 of the last 16 as home chalk (1-1 with a spread this big), but given what it did to Clemson on neutral turf and Wave’s failure to cover its last four season openers, we’ll give Saban and the boys a shot. With only Sun Belt-wannabe Western Kentucky on deck for ‘Bama...Tide 37 Tulane 0

#14 KANSAS over Louisiana Tech giving 20 1/2: Upset wins by Fresno State and these Weeeziana Tech Bulldogs have folks in the WAC all excited, though Mississippi State relies mostly on its defense. Jayhawks inexplicably called off the dogs up by 30 late in the 3rd quarter against Florida International. They can’t afford to do that this week...Fightin’ Manginos 45 La Tech 20

#15 ARIZONA STATE over Stanford giving 14: OK...under Coach Harbaugh, Cardinal has knocked off the Trojans, increased scoreboard tallies by 9 points per game and decreased opponents’ scoring by 3 points per game. Stanford also reduced its turnovers last year. Stanford rescued a victory from the jaws of defeat via two late Beavers miscues. We’re not buyin’ it this week...Devils 37 Trees 17

#16 Brigham Young @ WASHINGTON: OFF

#17 South Florida over CENTRAL FLORIDA giving 14: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Curious line that seems to more reflect UCF’s mere 7-point loss to the Bulls at home in 2006 rather than the 17- and 52-point beatings it took at South Florida in ‘05 and ‘07, respectively. Knights did manage to take much better care of the football in the second half of last season, going -11 in turnovers through the first six, but +12 through the final eight. Not gonna’ help them here (and that whoppin’ 17-0 win over SC State last week doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence either!)...USF 42 UCF 17

#18 OREGON over Utah State giving 35 1/2: Up by 27 vs. Washington with under a minute left, the Decoys kept pressing and scored another TD. Aggies are a veteran team that hung around vs. UNLV, but the QB just completed his first career game in a 10-point loss. Hmmm...let’s see. Are the Huskies at least two points better than USU? Questionable sometimes, but we think they are...Mallards 51 Utah State 7

#19 PENN STATE over Oregon State giving 16 ½: Major concern for the Lions here is keeping WR Sammie Slaughter, who had 157 yards and a couple of scores in loss to Stanford, under wraps. PSU is 7-2 ATS against non-conference teams the past two seasons. Back in May, JoePa spent a couple hours in a local State College hospital, suffering from dehydration. At Coach’s request, the attending physician simply dumped a Gatorade bucket on his head and sent him back to the practice field!...The Alma Mater 35 Beavers 16

#20 WAKE FOREST over Mississippi giving 8: With Clemson’s demise, the heir-apparent to the ACC crown might just be Wake Forest. We thank Jim Grobe and his team for starting Vin’s season with a Thursday night forecast win! First-year Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt has some talent to work with, but the non-conference spread record leaves something to be desired...Deacons 27 Rebels 13

#21Fresno State: IDLE (next vs. Wisconsin)

#22 UTAH over Nevada-Las Vegas giving 22: Those who watched the Utes topple Michigan 25-23 know the game was not nearly that close. Utah will want to avenge a 27-0 white-wash in Sin City last year. Rebels won, but not convincingly over Utah State squad considered by some as the nation’s worst club. Rebels only 6-15 against the line as road dogs the last four seasons and RB Frank Summers made some disparaging post-game remarks last year about the Utes defenders not really wanting to tackle him. Gotta’ figure those nifty quotes are going up on somebody’s bulletin board ....Utah 42 UNLV 9

#23 UCLA: IDLE (next @ BYU)

Eastern Illinois @ #24 ILLINOIS: No line.

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Last week, an Obama camp spokesperson called McCain’s selection of Palin as running mate “a Hail Mary pass”. While the Democrats do not believe the Republican front-runner has the arm-strength to actually heave Palin that far, Obama will take no chances and plans to drop eight players into the end zone to bat her away if she makes it that far!

This summer, UNLV held its annual “Let’s Get Physical” clinic, designed to teach women about the game of football. Vindy wandered down to the presentation at Sam Boyd Stadium in hopes of catching a glimpse of some celebrity impersonator bustin’ out her best vintage Olivia Newton-John act!

During off-season practices, Rebels coaches awarded a black jersey to the best player from the previous practice session as a reward/motivator. Vindy gives his black jersey (autographed and authentic forecast-worn, complete with beer stains and Doritos remnants) to Arkansas State for last week’s performance. As one of Vindy’s “best bets”, the Red Wolves not only covered 19 ½ points, they actually beat Texas A&M outright!

The Cincinnati Bengals receiver formerly-known-as Chad Johnson just had his last name legally altered to “Ocho Cinco”. Not to be upstaged, just-reinstated Dallas Cowboys DB/KR Adam “Don’t Call Me ‘Pac-Man’” Jones just had his surname legally changed to “Wocka-Wocka-Wocka-Wocka”!

The Baltimore Ravens retained the services this summer of a wildlife expert to train actual ravens to fly outta’ the tunnel at M&T Bank Stadium, starting this coming Sunday against the Cincinnati Bengals. Nice, but how cool would it be if he trained ‘em to come “gently rapping, ...tapping” on the windows of the visiting teams’s bus as it arrives!

A 60-year-old Chinese acupuncturist pierced his body (including his head and face) with 2008 decorative needles showing patriotism for the then-upcoming Olympics. But a real man woulda’ got 2008 ring piercings and hung a replica gold, silver or bronze medal from each one! Of course, that woulda’ doubled the holes to 4016! (And who was the sick individual that designed and marketed the “decorative” acupuncture needle?!). Gotta’ wonder...with that many acupuncture needles, was he completely numb for the duration of the Games? Did his earlobes explode? Was he considered an honorary porcupine?!

In August, Vin caught this headline in the local newspaper...”Johnson Wins Gold on Beam”. We just wanna’ know which assistant coach slipped a little whiskey to the underage gymnast just before the event and why she was given Cuervo tequila as a prize for her efforts!

Team Latvia upended the U.S. pair in beach volleyball! Are there beaches in Latvia??! Until this summer, the only Latvian of note Vindy knew about was Victor Von Doom, who ruled the tiny kingdom in the Fantastic Four comics in 1970's!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Yep, Vindy called it. One of the few mistakes he made in Week One was backing Weeziana-Monroe against Auburn.

“Locked in a Box?”: The Mallards of Oregon hammered Washington and opened Vin’s lock record at 1-0 (1.000).

Shoppe Talk: Correction to this section from last week...we noted USC as not playing until Week Two and had Boston College actually in the forecast. Obviously, Troy blew out Virginia and the Eagles weren’t ranked. The good news...we had USC and Hawaii on the correct side of da’ spread, meaning the Taxidermy Shoppe remains vacant ...for now!

Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 2-2 (.500)
FLORIDA ATLANTIC -13 ½ over Alabama-Birmingham, Rice +3 ½ over MEMPHIS, Northwestern -6 ½ over DUKE, Akron +5 over SYRACUSE

Vindy's Picks Week 1-2008

2008-08-27T18:12:00.000-07:00

TV GIG LANDS VINDY IN DOGHOUSE FOR OPENER

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (like there’s another one?) (CNN)....The Vegas Vindicator missed forecasting minicamp to shoot episodes of Lap-Dancing with the Stars. In fact, Vindy and his partner Iffia Rilliwaahmi garnered a 5th place finish (just missing the Olympic medal round!)! But the extended stint on the reality show cost the Weber Kid his starting role. While Vindy was grabbing his fifteen minutes of broadcast network fame, coaches moved on and gave the majority of the first-team forecasting snaps to Uno, the Westminster Best-In-Show beagle, relegating the not-so-omniscient oracle to the bench for the inaugural week of the 2008 season! Vin was notified of the decision to put the portending pup in the starting line-up upon his return from Hollywood. Responding to news of his demotion, Vindy told media, “Oh sure. Just a few weeks ago, I was showing (Uno) how to go on...er...um...I mean...strap on...the pads...and how to get in and outta’ da’ sportsbook through the under-doggie door. This is the thanks I get. ‘Man’s best friend, my !!@*$#@!!!!”

This just in...the prognosticating pooch and the third- and emergency-string quarterbacks suffered torn ACLs in a “freak”, pre-game warm-ups “accident”. Guess who’s back in the saddle??!! The Weber Kid slips into his LZR Racer swimsuit, Obama-fist-bumps his 2008 preseason forecasting strategy team of ESPN broadcaster Dana Jacobson, Brian McNamee, Debbie Clemens, Matt Walsh, Client #9, the 2007-08 winless Fordham women’s and NJ Tech’s men’s hoops teams, Jackie Moon, the all-tel wizard, Kelly Tilghman, Kelvin Sampson, Chikeze, the Minot AFB 5th Bomb Wing, Racer X, Sweeney Todd, Kazuo Uzuki, Heather Mills, Mindy McCready, Kosuke Fukudome, Liz Wallace and Mallory Holtman of the Central Washington University softball team (all of whom, ironically, also made the VP running-mate short-list for Obama and/or McCain) and rings in this year’s spread campaign with a special Olympics edition (as opposed to a Special Olympics edition) of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2008 WEEK 1 FORECAST
(Now in its 15th season...and still offending fewer people than Golfweek magazine!)

THURS. AUG. 28
#23 Wake Forest over BAYLOR giving 12 1/2: Freakin’ great! Vin opens the year with a Thursday nighter after going 5-11 on Thursdays last season (and currently on an 0-6 Thursday run including the bowls)! Hey, the Baltimore Orioles went 15 consecutive Sunday games without a victory before putting an end to that nonsense this past July. We’re hopin’ to stop the problem before it starts again this year! Bares have a new coach and a freshman at QB... Deacons 31 Baylor 13

SAT. AUG. 30
Georgia Southern @ #1 GEORGIA: No line.

Youngstown State @ #2 OHIO STATE: No line.

#3 Southern Cal over VIRGINIA giving 19 ½: Hate to go against Al Groh here, but Cavs haven’t covered last three home openers (and Wyoming, Western Michigan and Duke don’t exactly compare to USC). Trojans are only 20-19 ATS over the previous three years, but with a bye up next before yet another “game of the century (or decade/season/week/morning/whatever) vs. Ohio State, we like...USC 42 Virginia 17

Chattanooga @ #4 OKLAHOMA: No line. (Given the Spooners’ 3-8-1 forecast record for 2007 [just missing post-season ack-olades], we ain’t crushed about the absence of a spread on this one!)

#5 FLORIDA over Hawaii giving 35 1/2: ‘Bows lost their coach and a bunch of starters from last year’s BCS bowl team, though 64 lettermen come back. The line opened around 28 and only real concern here is a young Gators defense (seven sophomores expected to start) if UH gets a deep-passing game going.. Including last year’s blowout loss to Georgia in the previously-noted post-season tilt, Hawaii is 2-7 ATS in last 9 vs. ranked squads...Florida 51 Hawaii 14

#6 Missouri over #20 Illinois giving 8 1/2 (@ St. Louis): We wavered on this one as the line continued to climb in favor of Mizzou, but we’ll go with the initial pick. Illini probably could’ve won this one last year and may look to avenge a cheap shot on QB Juice Williams. Tigers covered three of four neutral site tilts last season. Illini’s last three neutral ground matches have all been against Missouri, resulting in an 0-3 SU and ATS record. The loss of star RB Mendenhall to the Sunday league for Illinois may be the difference...Mizzou 30 Illinois 20

Appalachian State @ #7 LSU: No line. (Though in light of last year’s App State visit to Ann Arbor, maybe there oughta’ be! Bengals and Mountaineers battle to unify the FBS and FCS championship belts! OK, maybe not...but you get da’ point!)

Villanova @ #8 WEST VIRGINIA: No line.

#9 Clemson over #24 Alabama giving 5 (@Atlanta): This is a generous ranking for the Tide from the media in Vindy’s humble opinion. ‘Bama lost six games by a TD or less last season, but four of those were at home. Saban’s bowl hopes might rest on finale vs. Auburn team that hasn’t lost in six straight to the Crimson Tide. Clemson is one of the teams getting your host’s vote to play for the BCS title!..Clemson 20 Alabama 10

Louisiana-Monroe over #10 AUBURN taking 27: Best guess for season’s first “wish I had that one back” selection. Tigers’ new OC helped craft a bowl win over Wisconsin and could see his charges light the Warhawks up, but Auburn (the other half of the aforementioned BCS title game pairing) is just 5-9 ATS as home chalk the last two years, including a spread loss in 27-0 victory over Sun Belt club Arkansas State as a 32-point fave. ULM sporting nice 12-5 ATS record in last 17 as a road dog. Run-first offense keeps Weeziana close enough...Tigers 27 ULM 6

#11 TEXAS over Florida Atlantic giving 23 ½: FAU has covered just 3 of its previous 11 opportunities as a road dog and has been clobbered in its last three against ranked teams, failing to cover spreads of 24.5, 31 and 34.5. We’ll be all over da’ Owls, who return 18 starters from last year’s Sun Belt champion squad, for probably the rest of the season, but not here...Steers 37 Birds 9

Eastern Washington @ #12 TEXAS TECH: No line.

#13 WISCONSIN over Akron giving 26 ½: Four of Akron’s last five ranked opponents were Big Ten. Zips covered three of those four games and the lone spread loss was by a half-point. Nonetheless, Zips only return five defensive starters from ‘07 team that gave up 90 more total ypg and six more points-per-game than the ‘06 club. They were also 2-4-1 ATS as a road dog and will hit the bricks 7 times in 2008. Badgers are Vindy’s choice to win the Big Ten...Wisky 38 Akron 5

#14 KANSAS over Florida International giving 36: Panthers made nice gains over the course of last season, offensively and defensively. Jayhawks only 1-2 against the number playing Sun Belt squads the last three years, but crushed FIU by 52 last year. We don’t think Panthers improved quite enough..Birds 54 Cats 14

Northern Arizona @ #15 ARIZONA STATE: No line.

Northern Iowa @ #16 BYU: No line.

East Carolina over #17 Virginia Tech taking 10 (@Charlotte, NC): Hokies entered this game in 2007 off the April on-campus shooting tragedy in Blacksburg. Maybe a different emotional state this time. Tech is one of only two ranked squads opening on the road this week. Star RB Brandon Ore got dismissed earlier in the preseason. Fifteen starters and a truckload of lettermen come back for ECU squad that upset Boise State as double-digit dogs in last year’s post-season.. Pirates on 13-3 ATS run away from Greenville...Hokies 24 Bucs 17

Tennessee-Martin @ #19 SOUTH FLORIDA: No line.

#21 OREGON over Washington giving 13 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Put up or pack up time for the lamest “duck” on the field...Ty Willingham, who is probably in his final season at the UDUB helm. Huskies are 0-4 SU and ATS in last quad against Oregon. Despite four young, new starters at the skill positions for the Mallards ... Decoys 45 Sled Dogs 17

Coastal Carolina @ #22 PENN STATE: No line. (Hopefully, it doesn’t end up being “no Lion”!)

Utah over #24 MICHIGAN taking 3 1/2: Folks in Ann Arbor are simply happy to begin the ‘08 campaign facing a Division I-A team rather than Double-A squad Appalachian State! Are the Wolverines players loyal to new coach Rich Rodriguez or to Lloyd Carr? Utes defense needs to buck up against the run a bit. If it does...Utah 20 Michigan 16

Bowling Green over #25 PITT taking 12 ½: Panthers haven’t responded all that well to coach Dave Wannstedt, now in his fourth season. They did cover four of last six last year, but all four of those were as road dogs (while also going 1-3 ATS as home chalk). A potent Falcons offense actually has a shot at the upset here, but we’ll call...Pitt 28 BG 24

MON. SEPT. 1
#18 Tennessee over UCLA giving 7: Vols have posted back-to-back seasons of eight spread wins. The Uclans have four straight years of 7 or more ATS victories. A new coach and nine starters back might hamper that trend. Due to multiple injuries to several strings of UCLA quarterbacks, the Bruins’ man-under-center this week was promoted up yesterday from the scout team...of San Jose State!...Rocky Top 20 Bruins 7

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, prior to his television appearances, Vindicator grudgingly completed his summer internship with AT&T upon learning the position had more to do with cell-phone reception than sampling alcohol across the country after he answered a want-ad hawking “more bars in more places!”

We can’t remember where we read this one, and we’ll certainly credit the original source if we find it again during the season, but....in all but one season from 1993 to 2007, at least two teams unranked in the Associated Press preseason Top 25 poll eventually finished in the AP Top 10 that same season. Your mission...should you choose to accept it...is to figure out who the 2008 season interlopers will be. Our guess?...Two of three from Michigan State, Utah and Nebraska.

Players for both Appalachian State and LSU will be watching game tape of App State’s upset of Michigan in last year’s opener, but with two different views. Coaches for the Mountaineers will stress “This is what can happen if you believe enough.” Bengals coaches will note “This is what can happen if you believe too much.” In fact, our spies have revealed a plan for the LSU FG kicker to be assigned a personal protector!

A few more injuries to the Gators and the starting Florida defense woulda’ included those five Chinese Olympic mascots!

Extending the spirit of the Beijing Games just a little while longer, several NCAA teams have elected to put the best-looking athletes under center to lip-synch while the more-talented, but not-so-pretty quarterbacks bark signals over the PA systems from undisclosed off-field locations!

A reporter recently asked John McCain how many Big Houses are there in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He responded, “I’ll have my staff get back to you.”

Several thousand Chinese “volunteers” will be flown to West Point this week to fill in empty seats and politely cheer for both sides in the Temple-Army game!

Three little words to make the Beijing games more exciting...”Rubik’s Water Cube!” Picture hundreds of Chinese citizens manipulating giant mechanical hands twisting and turning the edges of the Olympic swimming competition venue until all nine panels on each side show the same color! Extra points awarded if no water is spilled from the pools!

Or how ‘bout....teams of guys wielding hedge shears, lawn mowers and weed whackers, simultaneously working in highly-choreographed movements to manicure landscapes and create world-class topiaries. We’re calling it... synchronized trimming!

In April, Mike Tyson was planning a tour of exhibition fights in Europe. In fact, sources close to the infamous pugilist said Iron Mike was also learning to say “I want to eat your children” in several languages. We also heard the first bout’s scheduled for Bitburg, Germany!

Shoppe Talk: Last season’s Grill-Master Supreme award-winning Trojans don’t open until Week Two, but USC henchmen Boston College and Hawaii (collectively tallying four forecast wins in seventeen tries for Vindy’s ‘07 regular season picks) get the chance to torment your haggard host right from the git-go!

Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Vindicator hopes to get a jump on righting the ship after last season’s dismal 36.3% “best bet” success rate with...Michigan State +6 over CAL, NORTHWESTERN -12 over Syracuse, Utah-Michigan UNDER 41, Arkansas State +19 ½ over TEXAS A&M Season: 0-0 (.000)

Next week...more thoughts on the Olympics, silliness in the off-season and...the NFL! Now then, if you’ll excuse Vindy, he needs to go check the waiver wire for his fantasy bass-fishing league!

Vindy's 2007-08 Bowl Recap

2008-01-09T22:03:00.000-08:00

FORECAST CAUSES AIR TRAVEL DELAY DOWN UNDER; BIG APPLE HELPS COUNTRY SHED 2007 SEASON

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN)....Six-inch barber shears? Check. Twelve ounces of mouthwash? Knock yourself out. A box of matches? Please. Vindy’s picks on the laptop?! Holy crap! Hold da’ phone! Do not pass GO, do not collect $200! An Aussie tourist headed for Las Vegas over the holidays kept a U.S.-bound Qantas flight on the runway in the Outback for several hours after flight attendants caught the passenger perusing Vindy’s Picks on his laptop during pre-flight preparations. Air marshals eventually wrestled the portable computer away from the passenger, but not before he actually placed Internet wagers using some of the picks. The laptop was "secured" in the cockpit and a "random" FAA review of the flight’s black box revealed audio of the captain and co-pilot "knockin’ back a few" while discussing each prediction. Media spies in Sin City let it leak that the co-pilot and original passenger-in-question made tidy profits on Vindicator’s "lock" choice, Virginia +5 1/2!

Meanwhile, back in Gotham City...it was "If you can shred it, they will come". An industrial-strength shredder constructed in Times Square drew thousands from across the nation to New York City recently to symbolically eliminate bad memories of calendar year 2007. They stood in line, some even rival fans standing shoulder-to-shoulder, on December 28 for hours...for the opportunity to cleanse their lives. Athletes, coaches, athletic directors, bettors and yes, the prognosticators and pundits. They shredded photos, box scores, pieces of paper bearing handwritten win-loss records and the names of opponents to whom they lost. For items too big to shred, such as Heisman trophies, jack-hammers were available. (Editor’s note: Vindy was there with all 39 "best bet" picks that didn’t materialize!)

THE WEBER KID’S 2007-08 BOWL RECAP

(An annual summary of the family-friendly bowl forecast...Okay, okay...the family of note happens to be the Mansons! Happy now??!!)

Ten bowl games in, Vindicator found himself in a hole...nay..a mineshaft. Vin’s opening 0-5 and 1-9 run would end up being a microcosm of his regular season and left our prognosticator imploring the bookies, "Please don’t Tase me, Bro!" (Or for readers who know Vindicator on a more personal, first-name basis..."Please don’t Tays me, Bro!") and uttering other phrases that landed him on Santa’s "naughty list"! In fact, our fearless forecaster got off to such a cold start that fans attending the NHL’s outdoor Winter Classic in Orchard Park, New York between the Pens and the Sabres, if they looked close enough, could see Vindy’s Picks just below the rink surface!

With his chance at a winning bowl record disappearing faster than a Dice-K gyroball and needing a pep talk, Vindicator got on the cellular Bat Phone and called Peyton Manning, who said, "That’s okay, Vindy. You still got the best arm in the neighborhood...Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood! Take that (forecast) out and paint some flames on it or get a cool decal, like a Number 18 on the side." Heeding the multi-time Pro Bowler’s advice, Vin found himself livin’ La Vida Bowla on December 29, correctly picking the trifecta, including the Lions’ win and cover over A&M, despite ugly officiating (for both teams) and horrible special teams play, en route to an inspired 11-4 rally, but a late Hack-a-Vin strategy by the bookies (that saw an 0-3 slide) put Vin in the position of needing a 4-0 finish to gain the better-than-.500 record, but the Hokies put an end to that chance by turning it over three times in a 24-21 outright defeat to Kansas. Vin watched the Orange Bowl (the Thursday night Orange Bowl!) until Kansas went up 17-0 in the second quarter then tuned into Jeopardy as our weekday-challenged prophet dropped the third of all three Thursday-night bowl affairs!

Vindy finished 14-17 for the bowl season (with Kentucky/FSU "off" at the time his picks were published), but behind the Cavs of Virginia, Weber ran his season "lock" record to 10-5 for the second consecutive year, meaning Vindy’s locks have gone a very profitable 20-10 (66.67%) over the last bi-ennium. (Take that, smart guys!). Vin also called one of the two major upsets, ECU +10 ½ outright over Boise State (despite the Pirates’ multiple efforts to give it away late in the game!).

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
"It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!" (It did, however, come with a re-gifted JoPa Chia pet!)

Note to self: Do not bet against the Middies in the post-season. Do not bet against the Middies in the post-season. Do not bet against the Middies in the post-season (especially on Thursday night)!

Can the Weber Kid just pin his poor bowl performance on the presence of Jessica Simpson in the stands wearing a jersey with Vindicator’s uniform number as Vindy took the field to prepare his post-season picks???!! (BTW, the Cowboys are -7 ½ over the G-Men this weekend unless Simpson is in the stands, in which case, the line drops to Dallas -3 1/2!

The 2007 Weber-Friendlies recorded two wins (Rutgers [7-2] and Arkansas [6-1-1]) with one loss (Virginia Tech [10-3]), while Flame-Throwers posted two losses {SHOCKER!}(Boston College [3-8] and Hawaii [2-8]) with one win (USC [4-9]). Meanwhile, Vindicator’s conference allegiance of choice, the Big Tenuous, went a disappointing 3-5 SU/2-5-1 ATS, with only Michigan and those Nifty Lions of Penn State both winning outright and covering the line!
Favorites tanked the trend of covering games before Christmas, going only 2-4 ATS.

Had the national title game been played one day later on January 8, Elvis impersonators could have taken the halftime stage to celebrate The King’s birthday and sung "Love Me (Big) Tender" in honor of Ohio State!

In support of the writers’ strike, the presentation of the BCS trophy was actually done in a pre-taped format!

Vindy’s asked the CIA to destroy videotapes showing the methods he uses to arrive at his annual bowl predictions!

Since the 1997-98 season through ‘07-‘08, Vin has posted a bowl record of 133-141-3 (.485).
On the silver screen...a Notre Dame head coach known more for his tailgate parties than his victories on the field gets asked to end the political tensions between Russia and the U.S. in "Charlie Weis’ War", Nick Cage searches for valuable, but mysterious ancient betting tickets in "National Treasure: Sportsbook of Secrets" and a Detroit Lions running back contemplates things he wants to do before he dies in "The T.J. Duckett List".

If The Grinch Who Stole Christmas had been set in Bloomington, Indiana, would there have been a little girl named Cindy-Lou Hoosier? (Hmmmm..."Then he got her a drink [that’s considered "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" in some states] and he gave her the spread..."). Ahhhhhh...another literary classic bites the dust at the hands of the Weber Kid!

Last month, the completion of construction of the largest photovoltaic installation in the North American continent occurred at local Nellis AFB. The installation provides one-quarter of the energy needed to power the base. Mighta’ been more useful to put that sucker in the UNLV locker room to provide all FOUR quarters of the power needed by the Rebels.

Also in local Las Vegas news, with the annual Red Flag exercises underway this week at Nellis AFB, Vindy’s hopin’ to pick up a few tactical pointers on dropping flares from the tail end of his parlay card as decoys for bookies pick-seeking missiles while his forecast flies successful weekend sorties over the sportsbook this coming Fall!

North Korea appears to be behind the power curve on meeting its required timeline for nuclear disarmament. A spokesperson for the Communist nation said it’s official nuke dismantlement team had been busy watching the bowls, but the time between the BCS Championship game and each NFL playoff round would allow workers to likely complete the project by halftime of the Super Bowl!

The dog belonging to Red Sox RP Jonathan Papelbon reportedly ate the ball constituting the final out of the 2007 World Series. The resulting "end product" turned out to be the 2007 season for the Miami Dolphins!

Premiering this month on NBC, watch as seasoned-veteran, steroid-enhanced forecasters nicknamed "Tin", "Glass" and "Chocolate Puddin’" square-off vs. male and female average Joe, forecaster-wannabes in a series of physical contests on American Prognosticators!

UNLV is one of two schools in the nation swapping game tickets for drug tests with local agencies. We smell a scandal brewing!

Among the names named in Jose Canseco’s book and the Mitchell Report: Beethoven, Da Vinci, Christina Ricci, Margaret Thatcher, Verne Troyer, Bill Gates, Charlie Chaplin, Gandhi, Joey Chestnut, Harry Potter and Abe Lincoln (oh please...like the Great Emancipator’s stovepipe hat got that tall on its own?????!!!)

Perusing the latest catalog from What on Earth, Vindy noticed a book titled "23 Ways to Get to First Base". The Weber Kid was both elated and disappointed to learn the tome truly was about baseball!

In political news, the Clinton camp got some heat for deriding Vindicator’s kindergarten letter noting his desire to be a college football forecaster when he grew up! Hillary would eventually finish 3rd at the Iowa caucus. Oddly, she would also finish 3rd in the final BCS poll! On New Year’s Day, Clinton informed hubby Bill that she knows that he truly loves her because he was giving up six (count ‘em, six!) bowl games to go stumping for her that day. Fine. But if Slick Willy had passed on the BCS Championship game to do likewise, we’d had one word for the ex-Commander -in-Chief... "wuss"!

Senator Joseph Biden of Delaware was the only one among ten candidates in Iowa to refuse having a picture taken with a Mr. Potato-Head figure. A former resident of the Blue Hen State himself, Vindicator came to Biden’s rescue and had a photo taken with the nostalgic toy. Biden withdrew from the presidential race following a poor final tally at the caucus, but he was immediately hired by the Miami Dolphins!

New England’s Bill Belichick was recently named the AP NFL Coach of Da’ Year. The Pats hoped to capture the presentation of the award on video, but couldn’t find any tapes that weren’t already full of opponents’ defensive hand-signals!

Last month, 82-year-old Marv Levy threw in the towel as general manager of the Buffalo Bills. Vindy’s spies say Marv is about to replace 81-year-old Joe Paterno as head coach of the Nittany Lions. Nice to see the folks in Happy Valley bringin’ in a little more experience! Gotta’ love a guy who’s been around the block-in-the-back a time or two!

After reported conversations with God, evangelist Pat Robertson has predicted recession and world violence this year. And for a mere $79 donation to the 700 Club, believers can also get his platinum 2008 College Football Plays of the Year package!

BTW, bowls are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!

Vindicator salutes his alma mater’s women’s volleyball team, as the Lady Lions defeated Stanford to take the national title last month!

Honoring the centennial anniversary of the penning of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", the U.S. Postal Service is releasing a stamp featuring a baseball card. Vindicator recommends the following: Nolan Ryan ("express" mail), and Chuck Knoblauch ("airmail"). Barry Bonds’ rookie card would be fine, but any card in recent years wouldn’t fit on anything smaller than an over-sized package (and that stamp could only feature his head!).

June Jones has left the head coaching spot at Hawaii to take a similar position at SMU. Great. Will the Ponies be bustin’ out the Polynesian War Dance before each game?! Will anybody in Dallas, Texas know what the hell it means??!! "Aloha" shouldn’t be a challenge, but who’s gonna’ help the kiddies in the Mustangs’ summer youth literacy program stumble through pronunciation of "Mele Kalikimaka"???!!!

An entrepreneurial woman has started selling Tasers to women at gatherings that have drawn comparisons to "Tupperware parties". The portable protection devices even come in pink. Make those puppies customizable to include team colors, uniform numbers of favorite players, mascots or team logos and there’s a whole untapped market of sports fans (and officials), pro and college, out there! Picture frat boys tasing each other when home teams score, fans zapping visiting fans when the opponents score, referees using black-and-white striped models to break-up on-field/on-court/on-ice dust-ups between players. The possibilities are endless! Your host even foresees John Madden using the Telestrator to diagram "assessment" of 15-yard personal foul penalties..."The electrodes flew over the defensive end here, around the linebacker there and... right into ...BOOM!..the safety!"

LEFTOVER HASH (Stuff that was available but didn’t find its way into the forecast earlier this season)
A December 2006 e-mail from Lisa Nowak to fellow astronaut and love interest Bill Oefelein read..."First urge will be to rip your clothes off, throw you on the ground and love the hell out of you!" Funny...Vindicator sent that same e-mail to his bookie upon learning he’d hit his first parlay bet of the season!

Dairy Queen will sponsor a new stadium at University of Minnesota. Anybody else out there see the irony in DQ stepping up to support a Gophers team whose defense was as tough as soft-serve ice cream this season?!

Sports agent Scott Bora wants World Series to be best of nine, with two neutral site games prior to the usual 2-3-2 format. Uh oh...can you say...World Series Bowl?

NASA’s recruiting volunteers for a pretend 520-day isolation trip to the "Red Planet" (that’s "Mars" for the non-skill-position players out there!). Given that the fact that Vindicator sat through all 32 bowl games without human contact, we think he’s a shoo-in for this one!

In related news, NASA wants a permanently-staffed station on the da’ moon by 2024. Great. Vin foresees another University of Texas branch campus (we’re thinking serious homefield advantage since zero-gravity and exposure to radioactive particles would be tough to duplicate in practice!) and yet another post-season game, possibly sponsored by millionaire Richard Branson and called the VirginRecords.Com Sea-of-Tranquility Lunar Bowl! We can hear the announcers now..."One small step...outta’ bounds....?!" How ‘bout, "The Eagles have landed" ???!!

A musician claims to have discovered hidden music in DaVinci’s "The Last Supper". Turned out to be the Notre Dame fight song!

Last March, Notre Dame bullied Indianapolis’ Cathedral High School into giving up its use of the Fightin’ Irish leprechaun logo. Unfortunately, that victory didn’t go into the South Bend win-column toward bowl-eligibility!

In July, the U.S. (featuring mostly smaller-college players) participated in the World Cup Football final (yes, sports fans...OUR football), which was previously won in 1999 and 2003 by (GASP!) Japan! The USA beat South Korea 77-0 (or as we’d call it here...SoCal vs. Florida International).

With Dr. Tom Osbourne back at the controls in Lincoln, will Nebraska’s game-plan return to three yards and a cloud of husk?

Peyton Manning got to wave the green flag at last year’s Indy 500...the Colts’ Pro Bowl QB looked over the formation of cars, started flapping his arms and barked audibles while gesturing at specific vehicles, leading to several false starts and autos jumping offsides!

A group of astronomers renamed an asteroid in honor of George Takei for his role in "Star Trek". Likewise, a group of meteorologists renamed a glacier in honor of Vindicator’s "best bets"! (Though the Notre Dame offense was in consideration as well!).

NBA rookie Greg Oden went to the hospital this past summer to allegedly have his tonsils out. Oh sure, wait til next month when he goes in to get treatment for osteoporosis and shingles!

Last spring, the Marines banned large tattoos. Fortunately, Vindicator was a member of Uncle Sam’s Army and continues with impunity to wear his tattoo of blank NCAA Tourney brackets on his back! Hoo-rahhhhhh!!!! (He also fills ‘em in each March with temporary henna tattoos of the 65 tourney team names!).

In related news, among the new incentives to boost recruiting is "creating a more pleasant boot camp environment" or as Army recruiters are calling it...the Oakland Raiders clause!

The bobbies of London will wear cameras strapped to their trademark helmets to capture crime video. If law enforcement personnel in Cincinnati do likewise, Bengals fans can see first-hand video of their favorite players on "COPS".

The December 2006 issue of Playboy noted the International Association for Sport and Phys Ed found 12 states that allow public school students to earn phys ed credits by attending online classes. Vin does a mean virtual sack dance!

The 2007 AFC Championship game (Pats/Colts) drew a Nielsen rating of 28.1, beating the ‘06 Academy Awards by 2%. Vin suggests..."And the Oscar for best supporting lineman goes to..." (BTW, the rating for the ‘07 NFC championship game [between da’ Bears and da’ Saints] was 25.1).

Meanwhile, Arizona quarterback Matt Leinart’s former college squeeze has asked for $30,000 a month in child support. If Matt doesn’t pay up and the Cards don’t cover the number each week, might we see his face on one of those billboards identifying him as a "spread-beat dad"??!! Broncos RB Travis Henry was also ordered to pay child support....has nine children by nine women in four states. It appears he’s more productive on the road than at home.

The Mountaineers of WVU won the 2007 NIT, but the championship T-shirts spelled out "West Virgna". Vndy thnks tht’s bllsht! Guess there’s no I-formation in basketball??!!. Funny, names are also misspelled on the NHL’s Stanley Cup. Same vendor?!

BTW, we’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no "I" in "team" because Ralphie shot it out with his Red Ryder!

Earlier this year, Las Vegas lost out on the 2016 Olympic Summer soccer games. Bummer. Athletes could’ve swapped Olympic poker chips instead of pins, and gone home with souvenir outcall handbills!

Speaking of that other "football", David Beckham has been tabbed to teach Snoop Dogg’s children to play soccer. In exchange, the Doggie-Style artist will teach Becks’ kids to fire an automatic assault rifle!

Last June, Cincy Bengals WR Chad Johnson raced and beat Restore the Roar in 1/8 mile (110 yards) contest for charity. The horse broke from the 8th pole while the wideout took off from the 16th. Let’s see Street Sense run routes and catch passes during two-a-days in August!!

The National Football League prohibited the Chicago Park District from showing last season’s Super Bowl in Soldier Field, with proceeds going to charity, because it would water down ratings. Apparently, NFL stands for "No Free-Loaders"!

Sports Illustrated reported a pregnant woman had agreed to advertise an online auction on her tummy during the Super Bowl in exchange for two tickets to the Big Game. Vin’s not pregnant, but would gladly advertise the BCS Championship Bowl on his beer-belly for a couple of tix to next season’s title tilt!

Producers of the Super Bowl have very few worries of such previous disasters as the "wardrobe malfunction" with 57-year-old Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers doing the halftime gig for this year’s Big Game. Vindicator, however, plans to make an unannounced appearance and hold his parlay card lengthwise at waist-level behind a curtain, no doubt drawing cries of lewdness and obscenity across the nation!

Researchers from Chicago’s Northeastern Illinois Uni found what they believe to be the New World’s oldest brewery at a 2600-year-old site in Southern Peru. Apparently, the Wari Empire made "chicha" from a tree and drank it for ceremonial purposes...which included toasting Da’ Bears!

Last May, Lakers coach Phil Jackson told his players they "have the brainpower of slugs or earthworms". Gotta’ wonder if the folks at UC-Santa Cruz (home of the Fightin’ Banana Slugs) took offense to that.

Vindy’s 2007 submission for the the acronym contest at EmeraldNuts.com: Elderly Men Enjoy Ranting About Lines Despite Not Understanding The Spread

On the small screen next Fall...Extreme Makeover: Homefield Edition

John Rocker says he took steroids, notably HGH, for medical reasons. Can’t imagine what health condition would necessitate consumption of the "Hate Gays Hormone".

We here at at Vindy’s Picks think Roger Clemens, who adamantly denied accusations of steroid use on a recent "60 Minutes" interview is clean. In April, the Rocket was seen warming up his pitching arm on the roof of Planet Hollywood, some 43 stories above Las Vegas Boulevard,...and his son still managed to homer off him!

The amateur baseball draft was televised for 1st time this past year. Brady Quinn still fell to Day 2 for the Cleveland Indians!

Coming soon to Prime Time, Josh Radnor, with help from Neil Patrick Harris of "Doogie Howser" fame, recounts hooking up with future spouse Alyson Harrigan at the local sportsbook in..."How I Bet Your Mother".

Back in April, Rutgers women’s hoops coach C. Vivian Stringer signed a seven-year contract. Don Imus subsequently apologized because it wasn’t eight years!

Florida hoops coach Billy Donovan likened Gator center Al Horford to Don Corleone. Harford has never seen "The Godfather".A little advice, Al..."Leave the gun. Take the free throws."

The NCAA three-point line was moved back to 20 feet- 9 inches (Let’s call it 7 yards)......Big deal. When the hoopsters can score three from beyond 40 yards with eleven guys coming at them against the wind, we’ll talk.

Dallas Mavericks guard Jason Terry dove into a crowd, plowing into an elderly woman, then apologized by giving her a kiss. Turns out the "woman" was former Knicks announcer Marv Albert, who immediately whipped off his wig and exclaimed his trademark "Yessssssss!"

If Major League Baseball’s Capitol Beltway team adopts a kosher hotdog as its mascot, would we have the Washington Hebrew Nationals?

If Clubber Lang’s day-job involved working at Sherman-Williams, would one of the famous quotes from Rocky III have been, "My prediction? Paaaaaainnnt."

OK, we’re pushin’ da’ envelope just a bit to fit this one in this column, but so be it...it was recently revealed that Barack Obama and Dick Cheney have a common ancestor. The mutual relative was apparently out sport-hunting when he launched his bone-club into the pterodactyl blind and hit a fellow hunter right in the face!

And finally...Muhammad Ali’s own food line hit five college campuses this past season..Vin recommends the following motto to expand the Greatest’s reach to NCAA students everywhere... "floats like a buttermilk, stings like a beet?"

Until August, sportsfans...."May the road dog rise up to beat you!" (Something like that!)

Post-2007 Records of 3rd Year Coaches

2008-01-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

A bit later than promised, but here we are again, checking the results (post-bowls) forged by coaches in their third year with their respective teams....

‘07 3rd Year Coach ‘06 SU/ATS record ‘07 SU/ATS record (Comments)

Les Miles, LSU 11-2/6-7 12-2/5-9 (Nat’l Title win)

Ed Orgeron, Ol Miss 4-8/5-4-2 3-9/6-5 (fired)

Urban Meyer, Florida 13-1/5-7-1 9-4/8-4 (bowl loss)

Steve Spurrier, SC 8-5/9-3 6-6/5-4-2

Ron Zook, Illinois 2-10/5-6 9-4/7-5 (bowl loss)

Mike Gundy, OKSU 7-6/7-4-1 7-6/6-5-1 (bowl win)

Ty Willingham, Wash 5-7/6-5-1 4-9/6-7

Walt Harris, Stanford 1-11/3-9 4-8/5-7

Dave Wannstedt, Pitt 6-6/5-6 5-7/6-4-1

Greg Robinson, Syracuse 4-8/8-4 2-10/3-9

Kyle Whittingham, Utah 8-5/7-4-1 9-4/7-6 (bowl win)

Bronco Mendenhall, BYU 11-2/10-2-1 11-2/6-6 (bowl win)

Mike Sanford, UNLV 2-10/4-6-1 2-10/4-7-1

Mark Snyder, Marshall 5-7/4-7 3-9/4-7

Skip Holtz, ECU 7-6/10-3 8-5/8-5 (bowl win)

Brent Guy, Utah State 1-11/3-9 2-10/7-4-1

Hal Mumme, NMSU 4-8/7-3 4-9/4-7

Dick Tomey, San Jose State 9-4/9-3 5-7/6-5

Charlie Weis, ND 10-3/4-8-1 3-9/5-7

Bill Cubit, W. Michigan 8-5/8-5 4-8/3-6-2

Frank Solich, Ohio U. 9-5/7-6 6-6/6-5

Shane Montgomery, MI-OH 2-10/4-8 6-8/6-8 (MAC title game loss)

Vindy's 2007-08 Bowl Predictions

2007-12-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

PONIES TAKE YOUTH LITERACY PROGRAM NATIONWIDE

DALLAS, Texas (MSNBC)...American youths are once again behind as many as 10 other industrialized nations throughout the world in reading test scores (though three of said "countries" were actually the Canadian provinces of Alberta, British Columbia and Ontario. Based on the exchange rate, that’s really only 1.99 countries!). The football players of Southern Methodist University aim to fix that through expansion of its summer youth literacy program, known as "Milk and Cookies with the Mustangs". SMU plans to make it a traveling literacy medicine show and take the program around the United States. Independent observers of the program aren’t certain "who’s teachin’ who to read." Another anonymous educator noted, "The kids’ ability to handle Seuss and Potter is questionable, but they can read X’s and O’s with the best of ‘em! It’s gratifying to hear a child who couldn’t read a lick before the program rattle off ‘96 Z-Out, Split Left Whiskey 7 Post’".

In related news, with the No Child Left Behind legislation on-deck for renewal again five years after George W. signed it into law, the Weber Kid joins the fray and starts up "Beer and Doritos with the Vindicator". The perplexing prognosticator hopes to teach kids how to read betting boards and parlay cards, but also wants to increase math skills by showing students how to convert point-spreads to money lines and vice-versa!

Trying to improve upon a career-best 19 bowl-forecast dubyas for 06'-‘07, Vin dons a pair of Lisa Novak’s astronaut diapers so he doesn’t have to miss a minute of any of this year’s 32 games! Risking a 15-yard unsportsmanlike-conduct flag, the fab forecaster calls back-to-back timeouts to ice the bookies and recalls "nothing is certain but death and taxes"...oh...and..um...cockroaches, fruitcake and...

THE WEBER KID’S 2007-08 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(Lines of December 19, over/under totals in parentheses)

DEC. 20
SAN DIEGO CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA:
Utah over Navy giving 7 ½ (65): Having watched the Army-Navy game, put no stock in Navy’s big win over Army. The Cadets played well on D, but the offense was disheartened after a dropped pass in the end zone and subsequent missed 28-yard FG on Army’s opening drive, much like the deflation that occurred when the Cadets fumbled away the ball after driving deep into Air Force territory on its opening possession. Army’s kick coverage teams weren’t real special either. Utah had BYU on the ropes. It’s lovely weather for a bowl game together with Utes. Another rare go-against-da’-Middies by the Weber Kid...Utah 39 Navy 27

DEC. 21
R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS BOWL:
Memphis over Florida Atlantic taking 2 1/2 (67): While Owls were nothing more than appetizers playing Big Six Conferences, Tigers also struggled early. Tigers played seven regular-season games decided by 4 or less and went 5-1-1 ATS in those contests. Four of those games came away from home. While Memphis managed only a single SU victory in its first four (over an FCS team), Tigers did take 6 of its last 8 (though one of the losses came at home to FAU’s fellow Sun Belt squad, Middle Tennessee). Owls’ early-season triumph over Minnesota was tarnished a bit by Gophers loss to North Dakota State (an upset called by your humble narrator!)... Memphis 24 Florida Atlantic 21

DEC. 22
PAPAJOHNS.COM:
#20 Cincinnati over Southern Miss giving 11 (55): Eagles losses at home by 17 to Central Florida and by 22 at Boise State are only minimally tempered by mere 20-point defeat at Tennessee. Only real knock on the Bearkats is penchant to draw penalties (almost 10 per match for about 81 ypg). If Cincy can help the officials keep the yellow laundry in their pockets and SoMiss doesn’t develop an Air Coryell offense during bowl practices...Cincinnati 40 USM 20

NEW MEXICO:
Nevada-Reno over NEW MEXICO taking 3 (58): Uh oh! Vin changed his initial choice on this one. Lobos are just 2-3 ATS this season in the home-confines of Albuquerque, though they were just a point away from a push against mighty BYU as a 7-point ‘dog. New Mexico’s eight victories matches its highest win total since 2003, but how stoked can the team be to play in its own backyard for the second straight post-season?! Nothing exciting about Reno’s six wins this year either, but ‘Pack hung tough in losses to Minnesota, Boise and Hawaii and worked hard to actually get here. New Mexico plays its 5th bowl in last 6 seasons, but has failed to cover the last four. UNR posted one of Vindy’s bowl wins last season by losing only 21-20 to listless Miami. Reno will want this win more... Wolfpack 26 Lobos 23

PIONEER PUREVISION LAS VEGAS:
#19 Brigham Young over Ucla giving 5 1/2 (47): Bruins coach Karl Dorrell is history, maybe unfairly considering five bowls in five seasons at UCLA. Former DC-now-HC DeWayne Walker needs to find an offense to keep up rather than game-plan a defense here. Probably, the only person disappointed with Cougars’ presence in Sin City is Vindy himself, who had BCS hopes for BYU back in August. Coogs should delight the Mormon-heavy audience at Sam Boyd once again, though maybe not to the extent they did last year vs. listless Ducks...BYU 34 UCLA 20

DEC. 23
SHERATON HAWAII:
East Carolina over #24 Boise State taking 10 ½ (OFF): UPSET SPECIAL. Wow! How many Mainland teams get to play back-to-back matches in the Hawaiian paradise??! Broncos won’t be pullin’ off any of that Statue-of-Liberty silliness that got ‘em nationwide cheers and their playbook some votes as one of the New Seven Wonders of the World earlier this year! State lost by two TDs at UDUB, really hasn’t played anybody other than that except the ‘Bows and is now minus it’s top receiver . Pirates are 25-11 ATS last three seasons and lost by only 10 at Blacksburg...Arrrggghhhh 34 BSU 31

DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY:
Purdue over Central Michigan giving 8 (71): We changed our minds twice on this, leaning initially toward Purdue, then toward the Chippies then back to the Choo-Choos. And as of this publication, we still ain’t sure. Purdue’s only SU bowl victory was win over UDUB in the ‘02 Sun Bowl. That was also Boilermakers’ only spread win in last 7 post-season appearances. This is a rematch of Purdue’s 45-22 win over CMU in West Lafayette in mid-September. Boilers stagger in here, having finished the regular season 0-3/0-2-1 against the number. Chippewas by comparison won 4 of 5 SU, with four of ‘em away from home...Purdue 44 ChiPs 33

DEC. 27
PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY:
#12 Arizona State over #17 Texas taking 2 1/2 (62): Ending the regular-season at 109th in pass defense (allowing 275.5 yards per game), perhaps the Longhorns defensive backfield should be sponsored by "Easy Bake Oven". Both teams like to throw. State is a little better in scoring defense. The Sun Devils are in the details...ASU 34 Texas 31

DEC. 28:
CHAMPS SPORTS:
#14 Boston College over Michigan State giving 3 ½ (57): First bowl in four years for Sparty. Eagles have won six consecutive bowl games (and 9 of last 10, covering 8...with the latest ATS miss coming last year against Navy). BC defense won’t allow much of a ground game by State and the advantage at QB definitely goes to senior Matt Ryan ...BC 27 MSU 20

TEXAS:
Houston over Texas Christian taking 4 (59 ½): The Cougar offense seems no worse for the wear after losing four-year starting QB Kevin Kolb, but the defense took a bit of a step backwards. East Texas faces West Texas here and because the Toads didn’t live up to potential BCS-buster expectations, we figure interest in this will be low outside of the Lone Star State. Nearly a home game for the Coogs. If TCU’s defense dictates the pace, the Froggies win easily. If a shootout ensues, it’s...TCU 38 Houston 36

EMERALD:
Oregon State over Maryland giving 5 (48 ½): Vindy hasn’t been this excited since watching hundreds of inmates in the Philippines dance choreographed moves to "YMCA" and "Thriller" on You Tube! Beavers’ only loss since September was game at USC...OSU 24 Box Turtles 14

DEC. 29
MEINEKE CAR CARE:
Wake Forest over Connecticut giving 3 (48 ½): Huskies didn’t fare well against teams with a solid ground game, nor did they play well away from Storr. Deacs are susceptible to the pass. Wake lost only one game in which it was out-rushed by its opponent (at Clemson). Oddly, both teams lost 17-16 to Virginia...The Forest 24 UConn 17

AUTOZONE LIBERTY:
Mississippi State over Central Florida taking 3 (57 ½): Among the many items from China that got slapped with a recall was Curious George. We can think of a few "Georges" that are worthy of recall long before Knights Coach O’Leary (Jeff, Steinbrenner and of course...Dubya...for starters!). UCF smacked the defense-poor squads of Conference USA, while Mississippi State finally came around for Sly Croom and relied on its staunch defense to get past some powerful SEC offenses, including Auburn and Kentucky (both on the road). We think the Bulldogs do so again here...MSU 20 UCF 17

ALAMO:
Penn State over Texas A&M giving 5 ½ (51 ½): Collectively, these two have recorded 10 straight bowl game "unders". Whaddaya think they’ll do playin’ each other??? Lions finished only behind Army and Navy for fewest penalties, so they won’t beat themselves. The alma mater also finished 6th nationally in rush D. A&M’s primary MO is the ground game. Nifty Lions celebrate Coach Paterno’s 500th year...er...um ...game...at the helm for State! JoPa’s not pleased that his $500K annual salary is now common knowledge. That would be one grand for each game he’s ever coached. Hey look, ya don’t make Nick Saban-ish dollars until ya whup the bejeezus outta’ Tennessee then lose to Weeziana-Monroe!...PSU 25 Aggies 16

DEC. 30
PETROSUN INDEPENDENCE:
Colorado over Alabama taking 3 ½ (51): Speakin’ of St. Nick...while many of ‘Bama’s losses were close, have to wonder whether switch to Saban was too extreme for some players, given that the Tide only really went all-out against heated-rival Tennessee. Bison weren’t world-beaters either, but showed some improvement as season went on and do own a win over Oklahoma. We foresee GetNickonDaStick.Com real soon (maybe prior to kickoff!)...Buffs 17 Tide 16

DEC. 31
BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES:
California over Air Force giving 3 ½ (54): Bears come limping into bowl season having dropped 6 of 7 outright (and 0-6 vs. the line!), but do have two signature wins over Tennessee and at Oregon (before injury to Dixon). Last year, Cal had a pair of late defeats, but spanked Texas A&M in the Holiday. Troy Calhoun could grab a few votes for Coach of Da’ Year if he helps USAF acquire the victory here with only 10 returning starters at the beginning of 2007 in his first year at the Academy. Berkeley gets "painted"? No...Cal 27 Pilots 20

SUN:
#23 South Florida over Oregon giving 6 ½ (52): Both teams held the #2 ranking at some point this season. While the underdogs have seriously owned this bowl, we think a victory will mean more to the Bulls as they continue to establish themselves as a team to beat and attempt to post their first 10-win season since joining the FBS. Decoys have failed to cover three of last four post-season games and if they didn’t like Vegas last year, they’ll hate the "booming metropolis" of El Paso this year...USF 34 Mallards 17

ROADY’S HUMANITARIAN:
Fresno State over Georgia Tech taking 5 ½ (55): Bulldogs have shorter commute, won 3 of last 4 regular season games and might want this more than the Bees, who’s only spread win in last five came at Duke. Former Tech DC Jon Tenuta assumes the head-coaching duties for the game, but he may be distracted too by uncertainty in his own future. Fresno hasn’t covered any of last three visits to Boise, but at least they won’t be weirded-out by the blue field. Known for survival in extreme cold, koi were seen being shuttled in and out between plays to Georgia Tech’s lines during pre-bowl practices...Fresno State 34 Wreckage 30

GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY:
Florida State over Kentucky: OFF. Unquestionably, the Injuns went through some growing pains adjusting to a whole new bevy of assistant coaches this year, including losses to both Miami and Florida. Not many coaches know how to win in the post-season better than Bobby Bowden, whose ‘Noles have won and covered three straight. Rich Brooks got his second bowl victory in five tries last year. Third straight appearance in this game for the Wildcats, who had higher aspirations after toppling LSU. Late-breaking news has State without the services of about two dozen players due to academic problems (See...just one more reason for Vindy and the Mustangs to take their respective "educational" programs to the masses!)... FSU 29 Kentucky 27

INSIGHT:
Oklahoma State over Indiana giving 4 (68 ½): Tough pick. Hoosiers make 1st bowl since 1993. Okie State in 5th bowl over last 6 seasons. A very unconfident vote to the Cowpokes offense here...OSU 39 Indy 32

CHICK-FIL-A:
#22 Auburn over #15 Clemson taking 2 (47 ½): Auburn’s security procedures underwent review after a guard dog in the end zone bit a player on the hand. As the result of the review, the Warhawks have asked the Chick-Fil-A Bowl committee to allow their guard dogs to wander the red zone when Clemson gets close and as the designated home team for this game, have requested that Clemson players all wear the number "7" on their jerseys!...Aubie 19 Clemson 16

JAN. 1
OUTBACK:
#18 Wisconsin over #16 Tennessee taking 3 (60): Vols have been a risky bet in the bowls, covering only one of last four and are losing their offensive coordinator David Cutliffe to the head coaching job at (GASP!) Duke! Badgers have gotten points in last five, covered four of ‘em and won three of them outright (including last season’s win over Arkansas). Not certain UT has any motivation here having lost the SEC championship...Wisky 31 Tennessee 27

COTTON:
#7 Missouri over #25 Arkansas giving 3 (59): Okay...the State of Michigan paid the price for holding an earlier-than-authorized caucus and lost their national convention delegates. We’re thinkin’ the folks in the Show-Me State asked for the Big 12 Conference Championship game to be held in November and subsequently got stripped of their poll voters, leading to the Tigers exclusion from the BCS bowls.... Mizzou 34 Sooooeeeyyy Pigs 27

GATOR:
#21 Virginia over Texas Tech taking 6 (60): LOCK OF ‘DA BOWLS. While the Red Raiders eight wins came via lighting up the likes of SMU, Rice and Baylor (we think the Sooners lost focus in season-ending L at Lubbock), the Cavs garnered nine W’s going toe-to-toe with ACC clubs and Big East contender Connecticut (do ya think they’d like another shot at Wyoming??!!). Granted, Tech will be the most prolific passing offense Virginia has faced, but the D should handle the one-dimensional Raiders well-enough...Wahoos 30 Texas Tech 28

CAPITAL ONE:
#9 Florida over Michigan giving 10 ½ (59): Wolverines have lost 4 straight bowl outings, three of ‘em right here. Rematch of ‘02 Outback Bowl, won by Big Blue 38-30. The Heisman Trophy curse seemingly only applies to NFL careers and BCS Title games, so Gators should be safe here. Candidates on the short list just prior to UM’s hiring of Rich Rodriguez: Tila Tequila, A-Rod, Billary, Vindicator, Vladimir Putin, Senator George Mitchell and Osama Bin Laden (not really, but even an Al-Qaida leader couldn’t pass on a shot at the head coaching job in Ann Arbor and when he shows up for the interview, we’re gonna’ nail the bastard!)...Crocs 44 Michigan 28

ROSE PRESENTED BY CITI:
#6 Southern Cal over #13 lllinois giving 14 (50 ½): Hats off to Ron Zook for getting the Illini to a BCS bowl. As much as we’d like to see Troy get dumped on its collective keister, have to think Coach Carroll will have the Trojans fired up to defend the Rose Bowl in light of multiple collapses by a number of PAC-10 teams formerly above them... USC 41 Illinois 17

ALL-STATE SUGAR:
#10 Hawaii over #4 Georgia taking 7 ½ (69 ½): Joja’ coach Mark Richt has been singin’ that "‘somebody done somebody wrong’ song" after his ‘Dawgs were snubbed by the BCS for the title shot and may have his team wanting to prove a point. Not-quite-Cinderella Rainbow Warriors have been shedding the "weak schedule" critique all season and will come out ready to test their mettle vs. an SEC squad. Double-digit bowl dogs have been covering at an almost-60% clip (2-2 last year)...Joja’ 35 Hawaii 29

JAN. 2
TOSTITOS FIESTA:
#3 Oklahoma over #11 West Virginia giving 7 ½ (64): Hmmm...was R-Rod’s defection already in the wind when Mounties blew a National Title shot by losing at home to four-touchdown underdog Pitt? While White and Slaton may try to use this game to showoff for potential NFL draft spots, a senior-laden defense (which had been much-improved this year) may feel betrayed...Sooners 34 WVU 20

JAN. 3
FED-EX ORANGE:
#5 Virginia Tech over #8 Kansas giving 4 (53 ½): Rock, Jock, Jayhawk! A nice season for the Fightin’ Manginos and Kansas surprisingly has better turnover ratio (tied for 1st nationally in that department) than the Hokies. We think this gets decided by some Beamer Ball on special teams and should stay well-under the total. Hokies no strangers to BCS berths. Jayhawks could be star-struck...Tech 23 Kansas 17

JAN. 5
INTERNATIONAL:
Rutgers over Ball State giving 10 (60): Only fourth-ever bowl game for the Cardinals (1st since ‘96). Ball State went 5-2 ATS away from Muncie. When Vindy hears the word "Toronto", he immediately thinks of a Canadian hotbed for January college football! Yeah right. The Oprah-Obama connection couldn’t put enough butts in seats here to give either side a reason to play hard, though like our note on South Florida, this will simply go toward Rutgers continuing rise. Last May, NBC cut away from the overtime period of Game Five of the NHL Playoffs to bring viewers coverage of the Preakness...an hour-and-a-half before the race. We won’t be crushed if The Deuce dials up a replay of that horse race about 30 minutes into this...Knights 30 BSU 7

JAN. 6
GMAC:
Tulsa over Bowling Green giving 4 ½ (75 ½): Could be fairly entertaining if ya like scoring. Golden Dust Devil was a paltry 4-9 ATS, while being favored in 10 of the 13 games. Only Weeziana-Monroe and, ironically, Houston scored less than 23 on Tulsa. Falcons were decent 7-4 against the line and were a bit more stalwart on defense. In Tulsa’s favor was a good win over BYU...Hurricane 38 BGU 31

JAN. 7
BCS CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 Ohio State over #2 Louisiana State taking 4 (50): With Bengals’ coach already signed through 2012, Buckeyes faithful, in effort to create more distraction on LSU’s side of the field, have launched a rumor campaign that Les Miles will jump to Michigan in 2013! OSU has won and covered 4 of last 5 post-season matches. Could the underdog win the national title game SU for third straight year? Last time Bucks were getting points in a title game, they won it. OSU posted almost 31/2 sacks per game (5th in the U.S.), while Tigers were #84 in sacks allowed (almost 2.5 per game). Buckeyes can take it outright if they can get to Matt Flynn. We think OSU will capitalize on a second chance to play for it all. This season’s Bowel Colonoscopy Series champion is...Ohio State 28 LSU 24

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Just in case the consecutive time-outs don’t suffice, the Weber Kid also does his best bush-league A-Rod impression and runs up behind the sports ticket-writer just as he settles in under Vindy’s picks and yells, "MINE!"

After getting the Dalai Lama himself to write "Victory to the Blue Bombers" on some of its team’s equipment, Winnipeg won its first-round Canadian Football League playoff game 26-24. Vindy has asked the exiled religious leader to scribe "20 bowl wins to Vindicator" on his crystal ball!

Another note on the lead story...in late August, the Las Vegas Review-Journal ran an ad targeting local teachers for ready-made lesson plans for "pigskin geography" (we kid you not, sports fans!). The intent was to help students learn geography based on the cities of the 32 NFL football teams. Vindy thinks the program could be expanded to include all 119 FBS college football teams...or even the 300-plus NCAA hoops teams! If we’re competing with the world, let’s give the little buggers a fightin’ chance, by golly!!!! (And give yourself extra credit if ya knew Jonesboro, Arkansas was home to the Arkansas State Indians and could quickly point to that location on a U.S. map!).

For those who remember the commercial that aired earlier this year...
Driver: "Hey look. A hitch-hiker. Should we stop?"
Girlfriend: "But he’s got Vindy’s Picks.
Driver: "Yeah, but he’s got Bud Light".."
Girlfriend: "But he’s got Vindy’s Picks."
Driver: "Hey Buddy, what’s with the picks?"
Hitchhiker: "They’re...uh...birdcage liners."
Driver: "Hop in!"

Creator of Gatorade and University of Florida professor, Dr. J. Robert Cade, passed away last month at the age of 80. We’re told the good doctor’s final wish was to have his ashes put in a trademark bucket of his brand and dumped over some unsuspecting coach following a special on-field win!

The name "America" turned 500 this year....almost as old as the name "Joe Paterno" (and slightly older than "Greg Oden").

For those still scoring at home, the Weber Kid managed a nifty 8-3 on the official games of the championship week and a "why-did-I-bother" 1-6 record for his "guess at da’ rest"!

Face-painted fans that just need to get lives
Punters who drop the kicks inside the fives
Team-logo key-chains and rear-window clings
These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.

Little Brown Jugs and those banned end-zone dances
Paul Bunyan’s axes and onside-kick chances
Bobblehead dolls that are not from Beijing
These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.

Roughing the kicker and Hail Mary tosses.
Over-turned fumbles and tackles-for-losses.
Underdogs winning their Sugar Bowl rings.
These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.

At the NFL Combine this Spring, Vindy impressed coaches by turning in a 4.4 forty...yep, the multi-talented tout downed a 40-ounce beer in 4.4 seconds!

The Notre Dame offense will take an extra class this coming semester...ESL. Uh...End zone as a Second Language! In fact, the latest ish of ESPN Da’ Mag reports a study by Sports Business Journal found the NFL’s Browns to have the least effective logo (while the Cowboys have the top logo). In Vin’s opinion, the Not-So-Frightenin’ Irish get the NCAA vote for least effective emblem (at least for this season!)!

Becoming a big fan of Apolo Ohno after watching the speed-skater compete on "Dancing With the Stars", Santa shaved his beard down to a soul patch! (BTW, Vindy saw mommy taunting Santa Claus!)

Staying with rumors about the traditional end-of-season coaching carousel, officials in Durham, North Carolina have agreed to rename the school Dukla if former Bruins coach Karl Dorrell signs on to lead the Blue Devils!

A place of worship known as The Church of Men uses a shot-clock to limit the length of sermons. If the priest goes over the allotted time and commits a clock violation, does the Devil get possession?

In another effort to go "green" (thereby pleasing the tree-huggin’, tofu-scarfin’, rabble-rousin’ folks at Berkeley), each of Vindy’s bowl picks this year was made from recycled blog entries! In the words of Triumph the Insult-Comic Dog....we keeeeed, we keeeeed!

The Poinsettia, Holiday and Orange Bowls are (GASP!) Thursday-nighters! Consider yourselves forewarned!

The L.A. Dodgers and Anaheim Ducks will enter their respective first-ever floats in the Rose Parade. If we have the quote from Boone in National Lampoon’s Animal House correct..."A bunch of zombies get to ride a box of tissues down the street. Rah-rah."

U.S. News & World Report mistakenly ranked Montpelier High School the #5 public high school in the country this month. No big deal...a week later Montpelier fell to an unranked high school and dropped outta’ the Top 25 altogether anyway!

"Locked in a Box?": Vindy matches his lock record from this time last season at 9-5 (.642) courtesy of Central Florida’s romp over Tulsa!

Shoppe Talk: The championship week saw the Weber Kid get past tilts with USC and Boston College, but Vin took another one in the shorts from those Warriors of Hawaii!

Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 0-2 Season: 20-37-1 (.351)
Penn State-Texas A&M under 51 ½, Cincinnati -11 over Southern Miss, BC -3 ½ over Michigan State, Mississippi State-Central Florida under 57 ½

Vindicator offers his traditional holiday greetings to all his readers...Pass on Earth, Goodwill Toward Linemen. On top of ‘dat, we extend...Crimson Tidings of Southern Comfort and joy! Be sure to stop back a few days after completion of the BCS Championship game to check Vindy’s bowl recap and publication of his leftover "hash"!

Now if you’ll excuse him, he needs to go do something about the tongue he got stuck to a frozen parlay card on a triple-dog dare!

Post-Season Picks Not Quite Done Yet

2007-12-16T10:29:00.001-08:00

Unforeseen events have temporarily delayed publication of Vindy's 2007-08 Bowl Predictions, but keep checkin' back! Hope to have them up early this week!

Vindy's 2007 Championship Week Picks

2007-11-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

FORECASTER ASKS TO HAVE 2007 RECORD EXPUNGED

MONTE CARLO, Monaco (CNN)....Facing a permanent transcript of the worst preferred-picks record of his career, the Vegas Vindicator this week did what any reasonable forecaster in his (or her) position would do... throw a deposed track-and-field legend under the bus. Citing a regular-season "best bets" tally of 20-35-1, the Sin City Soothsayer went to the International Association Athletics Federation claiming Marion Jones was an active member of his forecasting team, hoping the sports-governing body would annul Vindy’s 2007 record from the history books, just as it recently did to not only Jones, but to the records of athletes who joined her during Olympic relay races.

Those "bounties" from last week musta’ been really good because the bookies stacked eight in Pandora’s box score, daring Vindy to throw and leaving our flustered forecaster on the wrong end of a season-worst 5-12 record for Week 13 (106-124-5, .461). Raising the bar..tab...one last time before da’ bowls, it’s....

THE WEBER KID’S 2007 CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST

SAT. DEC. 1
Pittsburgh over #2 WEST VIRGINIA taking 28: Mounties FB Ryan Mundy was recently asked "if your sport had at-bat music, what song would you choose?". Ryan said he favors oldies, but those couldn’t be used for used for that purpose. Challenging that assertion, Vindy suggests the following: Backfield in Motion (1969), Ballroom Blitz (1975) or maybe Born to Run (also 1975; and those are just choices from very early in the alphabet!). Should WVU lose here, the choice might be 96 Tears (1966)! Mountaineers have covered 4 of last 5 vs. Pitt. Panthers are 1-5 ATS in last 6 against ranked teams, but the one spread win was also a straight-up victory over Cincinnati this season. Despite recent success, West Virginia is still actually 22 games under .500 in this Backyard Brawl. Team Morgantown just needs a win to play for the big one...’Eers 34 Pitt 17

#13 ARIZONA STATE over Arizona giving 7: Wildcats have put together a three-game win streak (SU and ATS). Devils are struggling through 1-2 SU/0-3 ATS slide. State has gone 4-1-1 vs. the number in Tempe this year. We’ll take Rudy Carpenter over Willie Tuitama... barely....Pitchforks 26 ‘Cats 17

Ucla over #8 USC taking 20: Bruins are 29-18 against the number over the past four seasons, including 6-4 this year even with rash of injuries they’ve suffered. USC has covered 4 of last 5, but are only 4-4 against the PAC-10 this season. Have to look for a single-digit Trojans win or outright loss...Troy 24 UCLA 17

#11 HAWAII over Washington giving 14: UH obviously has a lot to play for. ‘Dogs have only a long Seattle winter ahead. Hawaii’s players reportedly do a haka dance on a regular basis, as does the Jefferson High School team in Portland. Oregon’s high school association considers it taunting. The high schoolers dance anyway and just eat the accompanying 15-yard penalty. Las Vegas bookies do likewise when Vindy turns in his wagers each week and simply absorb a 15-point adjustment to one of Weber’s "best bets"!...’Bows 38 UDUB 21

Oregon State over #18 OREGON taking 4 1/2: It’s painfully obvious the Mallards miss their Heisman-calibre quarterback....Beavers 16 Decoys 15

#21 Brigham Young over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 15: This one got rescheduled from original late October date as result of California’s wildfires. Aztecs can’t be feelin’ too good about themselves after tanking early 17-0 lead over the Horny Toads to not only lose, but also to blow a cover. Vin liked the Coogs as preseason BCS-buster and figures State won’t hold off the Mormons, who shoulda’ lost to Utah...BYU 30 SDSU 13

MAC Championship @ Detroit, Michigan
Miami-Ohio over Central Michigan taking 4: Chippies are 6-1 SU vs. other MAC teams in 2007, but home losses to Eastern Michigan and FCS division North Dakota State are troublesome. On the other side of the field, Redhawks are on 0-3 ATS spiral. Three-point win over Akron and 7-0 squeaker over Buffalo at home before road loss to Ohio inspire no confidence either. No choice but to take the points and hope for a FG decision either way...CMU 27 Miami-Ohio 24

ACC Championship @ Jacksonville, Florida
#Virginia Tech over #12 Boston College giving 5: WR/KR Eddie Royal will need to avoid the mistakes he made early last week, but we can’t pass on Hokies squad that’s getting Weber-Friendly honors (see SEASON RECAP below) and showing six covers in last seven games of what should be a 7-0 SU streak. Tech is 1-6 ATS over last 7 playing the Eagles, but should be motivated to pull out the trickery and put this away early after blowing this match late a few weeks ago...VT 28 BC 17

SEC Championship @ Atlanta, Georgia
#14 Tennessee over #5 Louisiana State taking 7 ½: Following Tigers’ other triple-OT defeat, LSU won but did not cover vs. Auburn in Baton Rouge. In fact, Bengals’ only spread win in last nine tilts was blowout over Weeziana Tech. If Vols can keep it close for four quarters, they can win it outright, but what does Rocky Top have left on the heels of 4OT game last week? UT won SU in ‘05 and pushed as a dog in ‘06. We think they bring enough to ATL... Tennessee 29 Down on the Bayou 28

Big 12 Championship @ San Antonio, Texas
#9 Oklahoma over #1 Missouri giving 3: Short-handed Spooners had little problem dispatching high-powered in-state rival Okie State and get the edge on defense here. Tigers would like to make amends for regular-season 10-point loss in Norman. Mizzou has already posted winning covers twice on neutral turf this year (vs. Illinois and Kansas). Ohio State to the BCS title game?...Okie-Dokie 40 Didn’t Quite Show-Me State 35

C-USA Championship @ Orlando, Florida
Central Florida over Tulsa giving 6 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Golden Hurricane was embarrassed last month by the Knights in Orlando. We don’t see much different here. UCF beat NC State, nearly knocked off Texas and subsequently bulldozed its way through the conference...Central Florida 45 Tulsa 24

A Guess at Da’ Rest:
Rutgers +2 ½ over LOUISVILLE: Who woulda’ thought both teams would be unranked at this point?...Knights 24 Cards 20

Fresno State -13 ½ over NEW MEXICO STATE: Bulldogs not the feared world-beaters of yore, but plenty potent enough to get by NMSU...Bulldogs 27 Aggies 10

Army +14 over Navy: Vindy takes a rare leap against the Boat People here. Cadets win-loss record doesn’t really reflect it, but the Knights have been more competitive this season than in recent years. Middies are down a notch and the USN defense seems to be yielding more points than previous seasons, even as the air game has opened up a tad for the offense. Look for a high-scoring game...Sailors 34 Soldiers 30

Louisiana Tech +8 over NEVADA-RENO: Winner has decent shot at a bowl berth. While we sincerely thank the boys from north of Vindy’s locale for being one of his personal-record 19 bowl-forecast wins last year, we give the nod to the visitors. La Tech 38 Wolfpack 30

California -13 ½ over STANFORD: Surely, even the injury-riddled, tree-huggin’ Bears of Berkeley should grab a cover en route to the win sending ‘em to the post-season over Cardinal team that apparently is resting on its laurels since the upset over USC. Any club that loses outright to this year’s Eggos...er..um..."echoes"...of Notre Dame is not worthy of a vote here. On the 25th anniversary of "Da’ Play", we like...Bears 27 Team Harbaugh 3

Florida Atlantic +15 ½ over TROY: Owls could grab a tie for the Sun Belt conference with an upset and a surprise appearance in the New Orleans Bowl...Trojans 24 FAU 21

North Texas -2 ½ over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL: No fan of the Mean Green by any stretch, but FIU is just a bad, bad ballclub. The Panthers were competitive maybe twice all season and first-year coach Mario Cristobal will have all winter to figure out what to do with the leftovers he inherited...UNT 17 FIU 6

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Vindicator blames his poor record this season on a previously-undisclosed torn ACL (antique crystal-ball ligament)! It was all Vin could do to keep that piece of information outta’ Dennis Franchione’s weekly secret newsletter!

Army and Navy are the least-penalized teams in the country (at 4.2 and 4.3 per game, respectively). Vindicator sets a prop bet on the over/under for total flags this weekend at 8 ½!

After every season, one special player receives the Vincent dePaul Draddy Award for the best combo of schoolwork, on-field play and service to the community. The obvious question, then, to the award voters is..."Who’s Your Draddy??!!"

Defensive tackle Vonnie Holliday of the now 0-11 Miami Dolphins recently quipped, "Who’s the guy from Charlie Brown who has the gray cloud following him around? Pig Pen? We’re like Pig Pen." Can’t wait to see an updated version of A Charlie Brown Christmas in which Pig Pen says, "We’re like those guys from the NFL with the gray cloud following them around? The Miami Dolphins? We’re like the Miami Dolphins."

Said New England Patriots offensive lineman of Philly’s NFL team, "There’s a reason they call them the Screaming Eagles.". Screamin’ Eagles? Hmmm...when Donovan and da’ boys pack their own chutes and jump outta’ perfectly good airplanes into hot landing zones a la the 101st Airborne, we’ll talk!

The Miami Heat’s senior dance team, the Golden Oldies, are celebrating their 4th season with the NBA club. Did anybody tell Greg Oden he’s finally got cheerleaders of his own generation to date??!!

SEASON RECAP:
Best Weekly Effort: Right outta’ the gate...Week One’s 11-6 (In like a lineman....).

Worst Weekly "Effort": Vin saved the worst for last, going 5-12 in Week 13 (...out like a lamp!).

WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This season’s "You’re in Good Hands Award" goes to...drum roll, please...the Scarlet Nuts of Rutgers at 6-1 (.857). Second place to the Arkansas Razorbacks (5-1-1, .833) and Honorable Mention to those Hokies of Virginia Tech (9-2, .818).

FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of ‘da spread): The bookies loved the smell of napalm in the morning...afternoon...and night...courtesy of this year’s "Grill-Master Supreme Award" winner Southern Cal (2-9, .182). "Suckin’ Place" goes to surprise guest Boston College (2-7, .222) and "Dishonorable Mention" to the ‘Blows of Hawaii (2-6, .250).

Below the official radar, but we’ll be watchin’: The FSU Steamin’ Holes (0-6, 000) and the Spooners of Oklahoma (3-8-1, .272).

"Locked in a Box?": Nothin’ like havin’ your +11 "lock" team lose by forty-!@%$#@!!-five!!! The Oklahoma State Cowpoked registers Vin’s first back-to-back lock losses and drop the record to 8-5 (.615)

Shoppe Talk: Trojans thwart Vindy’s Thursday night try again! The Gators return after brief (very brief) hiatus!

Vindy’s Championship Week Best Bets: Last Week: 0-fer-fugheddaboutit Season: 20-35-1 (.363)
Louisiana Tech +8 ½ over NEVADA-RENO, North Texas -2 ½ over FLORIDA INT’L

Vindy now takes a much-needed TV time-out to heal the aforementioned injury and clear the cobwebs. But fear not, loyal readers, your hero will return circa December 15 with his infamous bowl predictions! Don’t touch that dial!