Retired in Delaware

You Think It's Easy?

2009-11-15T09:51:00.000-05:00

Bill and I have been together 45 years. Some friends ask us “How do you do it?” Well, I’m here to tell you that it is not easy. It is ALWAYS a work in progress.

What happened this morning is a perfect example. Bill wanted me to show him how he could get into his Facebook page. He has never been able to get into his Facebook account on his own. I’ve always had to show him.

Where he has the problem is he receives notifications of activity in his Facebook account by e-mails sent to his AOL account. With AOL you have to copy the Facebook notification and paste it into the browser. Bill has never understood the cut and paste commands of Microsoft. Simply put it is “Control C” to copy the HTML string and “Control V” to paste it into the browser. Bill cannot connect those dots.

So this morning Bill shows me what he is doing and wants to know why it isn’t working. He paints the HTML string in his e-mail notification and hits “Control C.” So far, so good. But here is the problem. He puts his mouse in the browser and hits “Enter.” It doesn’t work. He gets frustrated and starts yelling at me. I try to tell him that he has to position the cursor at the beginning of the blank area in the browser and hit “Control V.” But, he won’t let me get that far. He cuts me off. He says “Wait!” “Hush!” I say “Bill, I’m trying to tell you how to do it.” He says “Shut up! That’s why I don’t like to ask you because you always do this!” I said “What am I doing? I’m trying to explain to you.” But, he cuts me off again in the middle of my statement.

This goes on for several minutes, escalating into yet another shouting match. He turns off his computer, and goes rushing out the house slamming doors on his way, yelling “Leave me alone!” Now he won’t speak to me for at least a day or more. The length of the silent treatment depends on how mad he is. The length of time could be as little as two days to two weeks. It ends when I make the first move. Yes, I have to apologize. That's the only way we will resume our relationship. Bill never admits a mistake. He has the George Bush syndrome.

I’ve known Bill for 45 years. I have lived with Bill for 45 years. This is his pattern. When we met I was 22 years old and he was 35 years old. He was the “daddy.” He had all of the answers (or at least thought he did.) Early on in our relationship I almost always deferred to him. But as I grew older and gained more knowledge, especially in fields that Bill had little or no knowledge I didn’t defer to him. When we entered into those areas in our relationship, Bill would mock them as unimportant and “not worth anything.” Even as I built a successful banking career (in back office operations) Bill would denigrate my work as “silly office work.”

Now granted Bill has many talents. He built our sunroom in PA from scratch. I wouldn’t even know where to start. He is an electrician. He is a plumber. He built our brick wall and patio in PA. In short, Bill can do a whole lot of things that I can’t do. I am not mechanically inclined at all, Bill is. My “talents” are in other areas. I can cook. Bill can’t. I’m an excellent gardener. Bill is not. I can write. Bill can not. I’m a photographer. Bill is not. In short, we compliment one another in our skills and interests. I've always felt that was a big plus in our relationship. However, it does not come without costs.

But here is the problem, with the new technology Bill finds himself having to ask me for directions. He hates to ask me for any kind of knowledge that he doesn’t have. After 45 years of denigrating my skills and knowledge, he finds it very difficult even to admit that he isn’t the expert in some areas.

For many years he even used to mock me for my use of a computer saying “I don’t know why you waste your time with a computer.” He said I wasn’t spending enough time with him (his usual complaint in our relationship.) I moved my computer from my home office to the kitchen so I could spend more time with him. That wasn’t good enough. The computer was banned back to the basement.

It wasn’t until a few years ago he discovered that the computer could be of use to him. Gradually, over the past few years I have taught him how to use the computer. He can open his e-mail and send e-mails. He does it in a rather convoluted way but it gets done. He also can scan the Internet. All this knowledge didn’t come without a lot of angst and frustration though. Teaching Bill to do anything requires a great deal of patience because of his sensitive ego and having the “kid” (the “kid” turned 68 years old last week) teaches him. One thing he has never mastered though is the cut and past command of Windows. He’s never had his Helen Keller Moment (“The Miracle Worker” scene with the water pump and bucket.)

So back to real time now. Bill just took off in his Jeep for who knows where. He’s mad. He’s frustrated. He knows that I’m trying to help him but his ego prevents him from accepting my help unless I somehow figure out to get that information to him so he thinks he figured it out himself. He wants the information but is incapable of hearing it from me, The Dummy.

He’ll get over it. He always does. But in the meantime I will have to endure yet another period of the Silent Treatment. This is where the “working on the relationship” comes into play.

Recently I had an e-mail from a friend of mine. She was depressed because of her living situation with her husband (her 5th.) She said she wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. That, to me is going to the extreme. I had another good friend of mine who committed suicide because she was going through a period of depression and felt there was no way out. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. I suggested to my friend that if she felt her husband really loved her then she should try to work it out. She should try to get through the bad period of their differences. I've had 45 years of experience in this area of relationships. I find that if you really care for one another you can get past these temporary situations, even if they keep repeating themselves time and time again.

No relationship is perfect (except for perhaps the Ronald and Nancy Reagan relationship.) If your wife, husband or partner is worth it (and mine is), then just plow through the situation. Try to make it better the next time.

I care a lot for Bill. He needs me. I need him. I will never find another soul mate like him in my lifetime. When something like this happens (and it always will), I just think of how lucky I am not to have a partner like another friend of mine who I visited earlier this week. His partner has 160 personalities. He said “And that’s just the ones that I know about!” Can you imagine? Now that is something that would drive me over the cliff. No thanks. I’ll take Bill anytime, stubborn, super sensitive ego and all.

Joy

2009-11-14T10:24:00.000-05:00

I'm not a poetry type guy, as my good friend Nitewrite can attest. But I happen to come across this bit of poetry this morning and it seemed to express just how I feel most days:

Joy is everywhere;
it is in the earth's
green covering of grass:

in the blue
serenity of the sky:

in the reckless exuberance of spring:

in the severe abstinence of grey winter:

in the living flesh
that animates our bodily frame:

in the perfect poise
of the human figure,
noble and upright:

in living, in the exercise
of all our powers:

in the acquisition of knowledge

...Joy is there everywhere

Rabindranath Tagore

Hurricane Ida Aftermath

2009-11-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

This is Day Two of the remains of hurricane Ida hit on the Delmarva Peninsula where I live.

The wind and rain is whipping around outside. My house is creaking and groaning under the assault. This is getting so old.

Yesterday I drove into work down Route 1, my little red ten year old Subaru barely keeping its four wheel drive on the road as it was buffeted by wind gusts up to 50 MPH.

I drove down New Road, hoping that it is not flooded by the canal that intersects it half way down to Lewes. The water was up to the road but not flooded yet......that would happen later when I got off work at 11 pm. Then I had the experience of slowly hydroplaning through the canal water that now covered New Road.

No one was in the hotel. I felt like I was in Hotel Overlook as the wind and rain battered the hotel. Thank God the hotel didn't lose power.

My shift went fairly fast, considering it was an empty hotel. A few phones calls, moped the floors, checked the reservations for the weekend and pretty soon my shift was ended.

This morning I decided to brave the rain and wind and took my old dependable red Subaru Forester to get the oil changed. I was going to go on a sunny day but decided today instead because there probably wouldn't be a wait. I was right, there was not a wait. I was their only customer.

After a stop in Wal-Mart for milk and to pick up photo prints, I headed home on the almost empty Rt. 1. That's one benefit of awful weather, not much traffic.

Bill and I took a ride down Oyster Rocks Road. We didn't get far, it was flooded. We went back home we saw a blown over Porta-John. Now there’s a job I wouldn’t want to fix.

Thoughts on a Rainy Thursday

2009-11-12T10:06:00.001-05:00

As the rain and wind swirl around outside the six foot long windows of my home office, I am reminded again of how fortunate I am to live in my warm and cozy home here two miles from the Delaware Bay.

Yesterday my friends Bob and Jim stopped over in the wind and rain to drop off two of Jim's old computers. Jim wants Bill to destroy the hard drive on his computers before he recycles them into the Computer Graveyard up in the sky. They both stayed awhile for a visit in the sun room while the rain and wind continued its incessant attack on the house. We discussed some of the weighty issues of the day and then they were on their way to rescue their friend Bart's washing machine. A Mission of Mercy.

My friend The Cajun had invited me out for my birthday dinner at MIXX in Rehoboth Beach last night. I called him and asked for a rain check. I don't like to travel at night and I especially don't like to travel at night on a rain slicked highway reflecting headlights of oncoming traffic. I might as well be traveling blindfolded.

This afternoon I return to work for the first time since my conversation with my manager and the owner of the hotel where I work part-time. My job was posted in the local newspaper. I requested a meeting to ascertain the status of my job. I was assured that I wasn't being replaced but that all options were open. I called the hotel yesterday to confirm the time and was surprised to find a new front desk clerk answered the phone. I guess its audition time. Nothing surprises me now.

While I was typing the above, on the TV behind me there was a short clip of that woman whose face was ripped off by the crazed pet chimpanzee. She is appearing on Oprah today. This is a reminder to me that no matter what problems that I have they pale in comparison to other's problems. I am again reminded of that old quote:

"I had no shoes and I complained until I met a man who had no feet."

No complaints from this quarter on this day of wind and rain.

Carrot Cake

2009-11-11T11:26:00.000-05:00

“You haven’t made carrot cake in quite a while. The Cracker Barrel doesn’t serve it any more. I miss it.” by friend and neighbor Barbara says as we celebrated my birthday lunch at the Summerhouse in Rehoboth Beach on Monday.

“You’re right, I haven’t. I think I it is time to make one.” I replied to Barbara.

Yesterday I did my shopping to make sure I had all the ingredients for make the Cracker Barrel version of carrot cake, the best carrot cake I’ve ever eaten. I even shopped at Barbara’s favorite store, Safeway (instead of Food Lion where I usually shop. Barb hates that store.)

Last night, armed with all my ingredients and my TV turned on to my MSNBC rooster of early evening lefty political discussion TV shows ("Hardball" with Chris Matthews, "The Ed Show", "Countdown" with Keith Olberman" and "The Rachel Maddow Show"), I prepared and baked the Cracker Barrel carrot cake.

A look at the ingredients and you can see why this is such a scrumptious recipe. The cake recipe contains lots of sugar and oil (for moistness) and a panoply of spices in addition to the shredded carrots, raisins, walnuts, pecans, and crushed pineapple. The perfect topping is the cream cheese icing which consists of cream cheese, butter, vanilla and confectioner’s sugar. This is not a low calorie confection. Try it once and you will come back for more. Delicious!

After removing a sample of the completed carrot cake this morning (I had to make sure I didn’t miss anything in the long list of ingredients and it passed the Ron Taste Test), I delivered the cake to my neighbor Barbara. Now I don’t have a carrot cake in the house. Well……on this rainy Wednesday morning, I’m not about to go out shopping. I think I’ll stay in and MAKE ANOTHER ONE! Yum, yum.

Below is the recipe. I give all credit to Cracker Barrel it is their recipe. I only copied it. I’m good at copying. I’m also good at baking cakes. Enjoy!

Cracker Barrel Carrot Cake

Ingredients:

3/4 cup finely chopped English walnuts

2 cups finely shredded carrots

1 (8 oz. with juice) can crushed pineapple

1/2 cup coconut

1/2 cup raisins that have been soaked in water until plump and drained

1 1/4 cup vegetable oil

1 1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

3 eggs

3 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon salt

***Cream Cheese Frosting:***

8 ozs. cream cheese,softened at room temperature

8 tablespoons butter, softened at room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 cups powdered sugar

1/2 cup chopped pecans for garnish

Directions:

Mix together dry ingredients and set aside. In large bowl mix with beater oil, sugars, vanilla and eggs until smooth and fluffy. Add pineapple, walnuts, coconut, carrots and raisins and blend well. Gradually add dry ingredients half at a time until blended through. Pour batter into a greased and floured 9"x13"" pan and bake at 350 F for about 40-50 minutes (do the toothpick test). When cool, frost with cream cheese frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting:

Blend cream cheese and butter until light and fluffy. Add vanilla and a little powdered sugar at a time until frosting is light and fluffy. Spread over cooled cake and sprinkle with pecans.

This recipe from for Cracker Barrel Carrot Cake serves/makes 10

Birthday Lunch

2009-11-09T18:33:00.001-05:00

"Could I take you for lunch today on your birthday?" asked my friend and neighbor Barbara.

"Yes" I quickly replied since I hadn't eaten lunch yet and my stomach was growling.

"Have you ever been to the Summer House in Rehoboth?" she asked.

"No. Do they serve anything other than fish?" I asked, being one of the few residents of Lower Slower who doesn't like seafood.

"Oh yes, they serve many things. Jane and I ate there last week and we had a very good meal." Barbara replied.

Well, that was enough to convince me. I agreed and Barbara returned to her house next door to mine to get ready while I changed into something more appropriate for appearing in public on my birthday instead of my usual jeans and khaki shirt.

About 15 minutes later I make the short trip from my garage to her garage and off we went in Barbara's Cadillac to Rehoboth on this warm and sunny November day.

We found a parking slot about a half a block down from the entrance of the Summer House. I never ate at the Summer House before but I know that during the summer tourist season it is always packed. I always like to try new restaurants, looking for that special restaurant which combines good food with comfortable seating and ambiance along with good service and a reasonable price. The Summer House met all five objectives. My dining experience was completed by having lunch with someone whom I like and is good company, my friend and neighbor Barbara.

We checked out the Business Lunch Menu priced at $12.00. Barbara said she got the Marinated Sliced Sirlon Steak last week with the "Stuffed" Potato Cakes. She decided to order it again (medium rare.) I also ordered it (well done) but instead of the Ceasar Salad (as Barbara ordered), I got the homemade tomato soup.

We both ordered iced teas while our order was being prepared. My first sip of iced tea told me "This is real iced tea." Something one doesn't get too often in restaurants these days. That was a postive sign.

After about ten minutes of sipping our ice tea and conversation, our orders arrived. The round deep friend "Stuffed" Potato Cakes smelled heavenly. On my plate was five thick slices of perfectly cooked sirlion steak dabbed with a Blue Cheese Herb sauce. From my first bite into the tender beef I knew I was in for a delightful meal at the Summer House. Even though I had ordered the steak well done, it wasn't overcooked and dried out as often is when ordering a steak well done. In fact, this was the first steak I've eaten in about three years. I'm a chicken and vegetable man (I know, I know; I should eat more fish but eating any kind of seafood reminds me of the floatsam on a beach after high tide rolls out.)

Both Barbara and I ate all of our steak. I wanted to eat all of my potato cakes but I knew my partner Bill would like them, so I saved four of them for him. Barbara threw one of hers in the stryofoam box for Bill too. We wish Bill would have gone to lunch with us but Bill doesn't like to dine out.

Barb paid the bill (a birthday treat for me) and we departed for home. On the way we stopped in to visit our favorite local jeweler, The Cajun. Both Barbara and I love out baubles. The jewelry store where The Cajun works has the finest quality jewelry in the Rehoboth Beach area with the best discounts. I have my eye on a particularly beautiful blue diamond ring (like I need another diamond ring.) Barbara loves emeralds (and they look so good on her too.) But, today we were "just looking." We had a pleasant visit and then we were on our way back home, stuffed with our lunch.

We noticed a chill had returned to the air. The sun had retreated back behind the clouds in preparation for tomorrow's forecast of clouds and possible showers. No matter, I had an absolutely wonderful birthday spent with friends. I didn't have a birthday cake today but finding a wonderful new restaurant was icing on the cake. Who needs a birthday cake when they can have a day like this with friends? I am a happy (old) man. Thanks Barbara!

Happy Birthday

2009-11-09T01:02:00.000-05:00

Sixty eight years ago, at 9:30 am on a Sunday morning, at the Chester County Hospital, in West Chester, Pennsylvania, Ronald Walter Tipton made his entrance into this world. That would be me.

I was the first born child and son of Isaac Walter Tipton and Betty Louise Hadfield. Two other sons would be born later. I am the crown prince of my family.

I have to say, the past sixty eight years have been a real experience. I don't know how much longer I have to go but I am thankful that I have gotten this far in life with all of my limbs intact, my brain still functions fairly well (not as good as it did when I was in my 20's) and the rest of my bodily functions still work.

One of the few signs of old age is a constant ache in my back and a stiffness of my joints. Today is a good example that my body isn't as spry as it was when I was a young whipper snapper of 50 or so. I spent the best part of the day bending over and on my knees planting 120 tulip bulbs in the front of my house. After I was done I could hardly move. I took my daily walk but was concerned that I might not be able to finish it. When I got home I took a nap that was more like slipping into unconsciousness.

There can now be no doubt about it. I am officially an Old Man.

My looks haven’t changed a whole lot (I would like to think.) I still weigh the same as I did when I graduated from high school 50 years ago (160 lbs.) I still have most of my hair although my hairline has receded significantly. My hair color is still a dark brown although I do now have a dignified smattering of gray on the sides and a few gray strands on the top that just appeared this year. I was fortunate that I’ve inherited a good deal of my father’s genes. He died at 80 years of age without one gray hair on his head.

So how do I feel about this go round in Life? I feel pretty good. Of course I’ve had my trying moments. I almost lost my life due to an undiagnosed staph infection when I was 17 years old. I’ve been in several car accidents but escaped injury. I was almost strangled once during an argument that got out of hand (no, it wasn’t with my present partner of 45 years.)

I grew up poor. During the 70’s and early 80’s, during the peak of my earning power I experienced a somewhat flushed lifestyle. However, that didn’t last too long and I’m now poor again due to losing my longtime job at the bank and the current housing market. However, I have managed to survive and stay afloat with a reasonably comfortable life if I am careful with my limited income received from Social Security and a few bank pensions.

I am fortunate in that I have a part-time job that engages my mind and helps me to keep up with the ever increasing cost of living that my fixed income doesn’t. I am also fortunate in that I like the kind of work that I’m doing and the people I work with. Of course, as with anything in life, there are challenges with this job too. Our sour economy bypasses few and I’m not one of the few bypassed. But I have no complaints. Life has been good to me.

I hope the next time around (I do believe in reincarnation) that I am as fortunate as I have been on this turn.

Happy birthday to me.

The Meeting

2009-11-07T19:21:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I had a meeting with the owner of the hotel where I work. The hotel manager also sat in the meeting.

It was a very frank meeting. "Frank" means that we said what was exactly on our minds. I asked why an ad was placed in the local newspaper for my job without telling me. I was told that the ad wasn't for my job but applied to the whole hotel staff. I said "That isn't the way the ad reads." But I was told again that it applied to the whole hotel staff. The ad was placed to "get our attention." Mission accomplished. It got our attention. This was the proverbial two by four between the eyes to get the mule's attention.

The owner expressed his concerns in a frank and forceful manner. He was concerned that in today's economy, the hotel staff appears to be too lackadaisical in their attitude towards their job. He also expressed concern about my lack of confidence in performing my front desk duties when he is around.

I told him that I'm nervous when he is around and will holler at me if I make a mistake. He has done this before and I didn't want a repeat performance. His concern is that the hotel doesn't project the best image in today's competitive environment where quality of service is the difference in getting bookings or not getting bookings. I agreed with him and assured him that I would address this problem I have being nervous when he is around. I told him I wouldn't pay any attention to him but "do my thing" and if he has a problem with what I did, and then tell me about it later in private without the histrionics. I warned him that if he did holler at me I would call him down on it immediately.

I understand his concern. I have the same goals he does, increasing business for the hotel. My goal is to provide the best service money can buy for all the guests of the hotel.

I told him that I am not a replica of him and thus would not be providing the same wording and manner in dealing with the guests that he would but that I am competent and quite capable of doing my job if left alone without someone watching over my shoulder.

At the end of the almost hour long meeting, we shook hands and parted company with what I felt was a more understanding and respectful manner. However, I still do not agree with the method of placing an ad in the paper to get our attention. I told him that it was personally humiliating for me. I was reassured again that the ad was not to replace my job personally but that all options are open. Fair enough.

I go to work again next Saturday and Sunday. Watch out, a new and more confident Ron is on the barricades.

This Stinks

2009-11-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

“You should talk to him.”

“We don’t want to see you leave.”

“You don’t speak up for yourself.”

These were all comments made to me this morning by my partner, a good friend and a co-worker, not necessarily in that order.

Of course they are all right. Since I found out my job was posted in the local newspaper without any explanation to me, I’ve had mixed emotions.

First I was hurt. Sure, I’m a big boy and have been around the block (more than a few times actually) but rejection still hurts.

Secondly, I was angry. I’m the one worker who is always available to fill in on short notice. Even on Thursday, when I got the news that my job was going to be posted in the local newspaper, I was called into work at 12:30 instead of my usual 3 pm. The shift I worked Thursday was 12:30 pm to 11 pm. That is a long day by anyone’s standards.

Conflicting thoughts have been running through my mind since I learned of this disheartening news. Should I quit? Should I swallow my pride and keep going in until they find someone better then they fire me? What to do?

My first impulse was to ignore the news as if nothing happened and continue going into work and doing my best, which is what I always do. I am competent. In fact, I am very good. Not for nothing did I win the Best Guest Service Award (1999) when I worked at the Hampton Inn in Exton, PA. That is a national award that no one at that particular Hampton Inn ever won before or has won since. I am good at what I do. I enjoy meeting hotel guests and providing them with the very best service. Thus, my first impulse was to continue going to work and hoping this uneasiness in my stomach would go away.

But it didn't go away. This morning on the way to our weekly breakfast at Zorba’s in Rehoboth Beach my partner Bill told me “You should call him and find out what is going on. Just ask him. He owes you an explanation.”

My cell phone had a message on it from a good friend. I retrieved the message and in essence what my good friend said was “That’s bullshit. You don't deserve to be treated that way.” And of course he’s right.

I called the hotel and asked to speak to the manager. My co-worker at the front desk answered the phone. She wanted to know why I was asking for the manager. I told her “Because I want to know why my job was posted to the newspaper without anyone talking to me.” She said “You should talk to ___ (the owner’s name.) That’s the only way you’re going to get anywhere. You have to talk to him and tell him how you feel. You don’t stick up for yourself Ron. That’s the problem.” And, of course she’s right too.

Now granted, I may not be the best candidate for the part-time front desk job. Since I only work part-time (used to be two days a week now it’s one day a week), I’m not always up to date on the latest changes. Thus, sometimes I’m unsure of myself when questioned about a new package the hotel is offering. I’m not up to date on the latest rules on how much we can offer in discounts in this down economy with low hotel occupancy rates. Maybe I show this uncertainty when the owner is hovering nearby. In fact, I probably do show that uncertainty. That is the situation that a part-time worker encounters. If I was there every day I would be more up on the current promotions and know how to act with confidence accordingly.

I get home and I have a message from another good friend whose opinion I respect very much. He asked me “I don’t see how you can go into work when someone treats you like that.” And, of course he is also right.

Thus, I made my decision. I called the owner and asked to meet with him today to discuss my job. I want to know why he posted my job without talking to me first. If he is dissatisfied with my performance, then he has every right to replace me. He can fire me. That is his right which I do not contest. However, if there is a misunderstanding, then I want to know what it is. But what he doesn’t have a right to do is humiliate me by posting my job without telling me why. That’s not professional. In fact, it stinks. I deserve some measure of respect.

He said he was busy (Pumpkin Chunkin) this morning and had a memorial service to attend to this afternoon at 1 pm. It is now 1:25 pm. I await his call. I am nervous but I also feel a sense of relief that I am doing something about this uncomfortable situation instead of letting it stew. I'm sticking up for myself.

Job Posting

2009-11-06T09:47:00.001-05:00

Last night at work I was informed my my manager that my job will be posted in today's local paper.

My birthday is next Monday, November 9th.

Happy birthday Ron.

Mom's Old Dresses

2009-11-04T18:26:00.001-05:00

Bill and I took off early this morning for Pennsylvania to visit my brother Isaac. My Mom was staying with him up until October 17th, 2009. At that time my other brother John and his wife came up from their home in a rented van and took our Mom back to live with them in Greenville, South Carolina.

My brother John is the care pastor in his church. Now that Mom is living with him she’s going to church. She needed a dress. She didn’t take any dresses with her. My sister-in-law Barbara took her out shopping for a dress. My Mother was in sticker shock at the prices of dresses, even at a discount store like Marshall’s. She swallowed hard and bought one but she clearly needed more.

I called my brother Isaac to send some of Mom’s dresses down to her in South Carolina. Isaac didn’t know where to begin. I think Mom has every dress she has ever owned, in all the sizes. For many years she wore a size 16. We couldn’t send those dresses down to her; she would be swimming in them.

Thus, it was time for an emergency intervention by Number 1 Son (that would be me.) Bill asked to go along for the ride to PA. He wanted to see the old property were we used to live. That property is now in default (the owner has fallen behind in payments.) Unfortunately, our formerly beautiful wooded paradise now looks like Grey Gardens.

Even though we left early this morning we ran into a number of delays on the way to Pennsylvania. Traffic was stalled to a crawl over the C & O Canal Bridge on the southern side of Newark, Delaware. Then once we would our way through the center of Newark, we got stuck behind a car averaging 25 MPH in a 45 MPH zone. This is the downside of avoiding traveling I-95 and traveling Route 896 instead. Route 896 is only has two lane driving, north south. So my choice is traveling on an 6 to 8 lane highway (I-95) at 75 MPH or more, with vehicle passing me on both sides or the back country, scenic drive up Rt. 896, and take a chance I get caught behind a tractor or an Old Man Taking a County Drive like I did today. I choose the country, scenic route and take my changes.

We arrive at the Old Props (our former home) about three hours later. After walking around the leaf and branch strewn grounds and taking many pictures, we leave dejected wondering why we put ourselves through this torture. I would buy this property back tomorrow if I had the money. Tonight is another Powerball drawing. One can always hope.

After leaving the Old Props, Bill and I drove over to Mom’s home, where my brother Isaac lives. I told Ike I was there to look for some dresses to send to Mom. Thus we began to sort through all her accumulation of clothes over the years. Ike was right when he said he hadn’t even gotten through the “first layer.” What a task. All I could find at first were her “tops” and many, many pants. No dresses.

Then I checked the spare bedroom which she was using to store her excess canned goods (she gets them on sale and stocks them in the spare bedroom on shelves.) There, in the cedar lined armoire were her dresses! I sort through them, discarding most of them because they are too big (size 16.)

Then I found them! There were three two and three piece outfits which appear to be a smaller size, which will fit her now. I handed them to Ike to box and send them to her. Then I checked her jewelry box. Viola! I found her crystal necklace! It’s her favorite. Sure, it’s an inexpensive necklace but it is her favorite. I think it is so because it reminds her of Reverend Pennlington’s wife, who always wore a crystal necklace. I remembered how much my Mother admired that necklace so I bought her one many years ago. I handed it to Ike to put in with her dresses to be mailed to her. I also gave Ike two sparkly pins that I bought at Strawbridge’s one Christmas. They will be the perfect accessory for her new gray suit. I also gave Ike a Christmas pin to put in the Dress Care Package.

I asked Bill to take a couple of pictures of me with Ike and then we were off, back to Delaware. But not before stopping at Wegmans for a quick lunch. Oh how I miss having a Wegmans in Delaware. I don’t miss the screaming kids in the store but I miss the choice, variety, and vitality of a supermarket like Wegmans. My choices in Delaware are Food Lion, Giant, or Safeway. There is no comparison.

Bill and I had an easy trip back to Delaware. Without delays, the trip is 2 ½ hours. Even so, we’re both very stiff when we get out of my red Subaru Forester in our driveway. This trip takes a lot out of us but it is well worth it.

We had a good visit with my brother. We found Mom’s dresses plus some of her jewelry to make her feel good when she goes out. And, as sad as it makes us feel, we had a good nostalgic trip back to our former home. Bill misses it so. I miss it also but I am very happy with where I live now. All is not lost with our old property though. As we got out of my car after we drove up the leaf covered lane, a small herd of deer rustled the leaves as they rose to their feet to see who was invading their sanctuary. Well, at least some good has come of the sad overgrown state of our former property

Special Tips for Hiring Woman

2009-11-02T18:43:00.000-05:00

In my latest copy of "Bathroom Reader", I came across this interesting directive put out during the height of World War II on tips for hiring women in the workplace, due to the shortage of men, most of whom were off fighting the war.

To my regular female readers of this blog, THESE ARE NOT MY VIEWS. I only post it to show you how far we've come from such prehistoric thinking. Yes, we have "come a long way baby", but we still have a long way to go.

Special Tips for Hiring Women

We’ve come a long way, baby. And it should be obvious once you read this article, which originally appeared under the title “Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency out of Women Employees” in the July 1943 edition of Mass Transportation magazine.

There’s no longer any question whether companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The military draft and the manpower shortage have settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and to know how to use them to the bet advantage. Here are 11 helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. If you can get them, pick young married women. They have these advantages; they usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters; they’re less likely to be flirtatious; as a rule, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it – maybe a sick husband or one who’s in the Army; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try and get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Most companies have found that older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. While there are exceptions to this rule, general experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are likely to be more even-tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects against the possibilities of lawsuit but also reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job. Companies that follow this practice report a surprising number of women turned down for nervous disorders.

5. In breaking in women who haven’t previously worked outside the home, stress the importance of time – the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slow.

6. Give the female employee a definite schedule of duties so that she’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous companies say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be nervous and they’re happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. Companies that are already using large numbers of woman stress the fact that you have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick, and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful in issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way that men do. Never ridicule a woman – it cuts her efficiency.

10. Be considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in uniforms so that each girl can get a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed to strongly as a means of keeping women happy.

Mom's New Dress

2009-11-01T16:41:00.000-05:00

Mom is now living with my brother John and his wife Barbara in South Carolina. They came up to her home in Pennsylvania to pick her up and take her back with them to their home for the winter.

My brother John is the care pastor at his church. Shortly after Mom unpacked it was discovered that she did not have a dress.

Quick action was called for and my sister-in-law took Mom to the local Marshall's store. Here is Mom in her first dress in years. Mom is looking good.

The only thing her outfit is missing is Mom's crystal necklace. I called my brother Isaac in PA and asked where Mom’s jewelry was. She left all of it in PA.

This week I will go up to PA and inventory her jewelry. All of her jewelry, except her 50th wedding anniversary ring (and I picked that out for my father) are gifts that came from me over the years.

It does my heart good to see my Mom getting dressed up and going out in public and meeting people. Now we just have to put the icing on the cake. She was always had such a big smile when she wore her jewelry out in public. I want to see that smile again.

Halloween In Rehoboth Beach 2009

2009-10-31T22:41:00.000-04:00

Halloween in Rehoboth Beach this evening wasn't what I thought it would be. Maybe it because I went to the wrong party. Maybe it was because I'm now thirty years older than the last time I went out on Halloween night with my good friend Big Bob. Big Bob went out with me tonight and it was much different from our Halloween outing thirty years ago in center city Philadelphia, PA.

I had my costume, the Red Masque of Death. Bob had his costume, a variation on Jason from Friday the 13th. After scaring the neighbors, off we went to Rehoboth Beach this fine Halloween Night. The weather was perfect. A full moon rested in the sky with occasional dark clouds floating by it's luminous surface.

I had a new appreciation of women and their clothing after maneauving myself in my car and attaching my seat belt without out tearing my long black Halloween fright night gown.

We arrived at Rigby's Grill in Rehoboth. It wasn't too crowded so we took a walk down Rehoboth Avenue to the boardwalk. Along the way we encounted another Jason.

Along the way I gave several diners at the restaurants that line Rehoboth Avenue something to remember for the evening. I stop and hovered around their dining tables. They seemed to like that. There were a multitude of smiles. Apparently everyone was in a good mood this Halloween Night.

Then we reached the boardwalk. The evening breeze was refreshing, coursing through the Spiderman type nettting on my face mask. We saw some rowdy kids on the boardwalk so we didn't stay too long. We didn't want to provide a handy target for any testostrone charge adolescent seeking to make his mark into manhood by bashing a fag. Little red warning flags were popping up all over.

Back up Rehoboth Avenue and my friend Big Bob is running out of steam. We finally reach or destination of Rigby's Grill only to find it now packed shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow and ass to ass with like minded gay guys out tonight celebrating Halloween, some in costume.

As luck would have it I ran into two of my estranged neighbors, Don and Al. I had to go around them to get to the bar to order my drink. They looked and hesitated. How many tall (I'm 6'3") black hooded, blacked caped, red Masque of Deaths did they know? And, the fact that I wore the very same cape (I like wearing capes) last year might have given me away. But, Don hesitated, unsure of whom I was and let me pass without comment.

I reached the bar and thus began my long wait to order my Appletini martini. I'm standing at the bar in full costume, including the Red Masque of Death. How was I going to drink this martini? Very carefully.

I finally get my Appletini martini, with a straw. Uh huh, I tried to take a sip before I left the bar but only succeeded in getting most of the first gulp down the front of the black silky cloth hanging from my Red Masque of Death (oh, I love that name. Can you tell?)

As I worm my way from the bar to the back smoking (I don't smoke but I needed space) area outside so I could do some serious Martini sipping, I spilled about a quarter of my drink on some pour soul's head. Thank goodness I had my Red Masque of Death on. He looked at me and said "Is this part of your shtick?", or words to that effect. Now I'm down to half an Appletini martini. I needed air soon so I made a concerted effort to completely outside, past the designated smoking area to where the cars are parked.

I slurp down the rest of my Appletini martini and ask Big Bob, "Had enough?" He said he did. So, it was back to the car, make a left to Rehoboth Avenue, then a quick right before I could make another left in the traffic circle. I zipped through the circle (not too "zippy" though because the ever present Rehoboth Beach police was on duty to the side of the circle.) With the smell of a recently gulped down 2/3 rd's of an Appletini martini sloshing around in my stomach, I didn't this it a wise move this evening to take a sobriety test. Maybe some other time when the only liquid in me is ice tea or an occasional glass of water.

I take Big Bob home (he doesn't like to travel at night.) I come home. And here I sit writing about it. It was a good Halloween night but not as good as 1979. Maybe next year. Speaking of which, did the Phillies win?

Halloween 2009

2009-10-31T11:43:00.000-04:00

The last time I went out on the town for Halloween was 1979. I'm going out tonight. As in 1979, I'm going out with my friend Big Bob, the same friend who I went out with back in 1979. At that time I lived in Philadephia. Big Bob lived in a suburb of Philadelphia.

I dressed in two different costumes: The Wolfman and Scary Monster. Bob dressed as Frankenstein both times. We scared the bejusus out of many a patrons of the gay bars along the strip in Philadelphia last Halloween of the 70's. Actually, the end of the 70's was the end of the Golden Era of gay bars. The early 80's was when the Gay Plague (AIDS) entered the scene.

Tonight we're going to try replicate that wonderful, carefree night out on the town. Only this time we won't get drunk. I'm driving.

Happy Halloween to one and all!

Taking Sides

2009-10-29T08:46:00.000-04:00

During my long life (67 years) I have encountered the situation of friends of mine having a falling out with each other. When this has happened, I have never taken one side over the other. Sometimes I felt as if I was expected to take sides. I just don't do it. Why should I?

Unless either one of the individuals give me cause to discontinue their friendship with me, I continue to be friends with both parties.

Recently I have encountered this situation with friends from different parts of my life. As regular readers of this blog will remember, recently I attended my 50th high school class reunion. The reunion was a wonderful success with much camaraderie and goodwill. Now in the aftermath of the reunion I find that one of the organizers of one of our previous reunions is feuding with the organizer of the last reunion. Harsh words were exchanged. Of course all this is about power and control. Politics.

Yesterday this former classmate of mine sent me an e-mail detailing her grievances with the current class reunion committee. She is looking for reinforcement from me what she sees as slights and disrespect to her. I am not playing this game. No thank you. I had a good time and the reunion and I am looking forward to the next reunion. I will not take time for the petty back and forth bickering.

Last night I had dinner with a friend of mine at a local eating establishment. We had a very enjoyable dinner. The food was excellent and the camaraderie of friendship better. My friend had originally wanted to go to new restaurant in town. Instead we went to the restaurant I suggested. Later I found out through a Facebook posting, that if we had gone to the new restaurant he suggested we would have ran into his former partner and his new love. That would probably have been an awkward situation.

Last night after I returned home I sent my friend an e-mail telling him of the "near miss." He was surprised that I was Friends on Facebook with his former partner and new love. He said it was "interesting." I don't think my friend expected me to take sides in his relationship. I think he knows me well enough to know that I won't take sides. Unless someone does me a wrong or does not want to be friends with me, I am friends to all. That is just my nature. I don't hold grudges. Not that I don't discontinue friendships, I do. If someone shows me that they don't respect me or appreciate my friendship, then I'm gone. But I hold no animosity towards them. It just takes too much work to hold that kind of hatred. I'm too lazy for that kind of activity.

So I will continue on my merry way making friends, losing friends and trying to avoid stepping on toes along the way. As they say "Every day is an adventure."

Then and Now

2009-10-27T10:37:00.000-04:00

Here is one of those posts that provide an insight into my personality and life. Again, this is an idea I stole from a friend of mine because I'm just not that creative or original. But it is fun:

THEN - OCTOBER 1989

1) Age: 47

2) Romantic Status: Living with Life Partner for 25 years (with open relationship options)

3) Occupation: Trust operations manager at a big city bank (Philadelphia, PA)

4) Fun night out: No "nights out", too tired from daily commute to Philadelphia

5) My BFF's: My partner, Big Bob

6) I spent way to much time: Commuting to work in Philadelphia, PA

7) I spent not enough time: With my life partner

8) I wanted to be when I grew up: Senior Trust Operations Manager

9) Biggest concern: Amount of time spent commuting to job in Philadelphia

10) What my biggest concern should have been: Spending time with my life partner

11) Where did I live: Downingtown, PA

12) Dumbest thing I did that year: Risked life and limb to go to work in Philadelphia during an ice storm and never got reimbursed for the comp days when I left the bank

13) If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: Quit the job in the city and get a life closer to home

Now - October 2009

1.) Age: 67

2.) Romantic Status: Living with Life Partner for 45 years (with open relationship options)

3.) Occupation: Retired, work part-time as hotel front desk clerk in Lewes, DE

4.) Fun night out: Dining out with friends in Rehoboth Beach area

5) My BFFs: My Life Partner, Bob C. (no longer Big Bob, who is fading away with dementia), and Wayne

6) I spend way too much time: Traveling back and forth to Pennsylvania

7) I spend not enough time: Spending time with my partner

8) I want to be when I grew up: I am exactly where I want to be at this time of my life

9) Biggest concern: My living expenses outpacing my fix retirement income thus the need for a part-time job

10) What my biggest concern should have been: Spending more time with my partner

11) Where did I live?Milton, Delaware

12) Dumbest thing I did this year: Continuing my friendships with selfish and inconsiderate people just because I've known them for a long time - these aren't "friends" and I have discontinued the relationships

13) If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: Quit the job in the city and get a life

This was revealing to me as well as to the readers of this posting. I think the biggest change in my outlook on life from 20 years ago and now, is that things I used to consider important (like what people thought of me) are no longer important and things I didn't consider important (spending time with my partner) I new realize are very important. The only constant is change. I can't imagine what my life will be like 20 years from now. Oh yes, I do plant to be around 20 years from now.

Ruminations About the Class Reunion

2009-10-24T12:24:00.000-04:00

Well, here it is a week later already and my 50th class reunion is now history. This time last week, my neighbors and friends Jack and Judy (Judy being a former classmate) and I were barreling our way up Rt. 1 and I-95 to Pennsylvania in Jack's Lexus. Last weekend a Nor'easter hit the east coast and I was reluctant to drive in that wind and rain. I posted a Facebook comment to that effect. Judy saw it and offered me a ride up with them. Of course I accepted immediately. I am so thankful to have such wonderful and gracious friends as Jack and Judy. This is just another reason why I love living in Delaware.

Arriving in Pennsylvania, we decided it was best that I stay where Jack and Judy were staying, with another one of our former classmates whose name is also Judy. I'm telling you, I'm blessed to have such friends.

I'll jump right to the reunion. I'm one of these people who have absolutely no reluctance about going to my class reunions. I think all of my friends (other than some of my former classmates) have never gone to any of their reunions. They all give the same reason. Each one of them has had some bad experience while they were in high school and they don't want top revisit that time. This is something I don't understand. Who hasn't had a bad experience in high school? I certainly had my share of experiences that I wish had not happened. But that is all in the past. I guess we're all different. I try not to let the past dictate how I act in the present. But that's just me. There is a lot I "don't get." I don't lose much sleep over it though. In fact, I don't lose ANY sleep over past wrongs.

Our class had 114 graduating members. We also invited to our reunion former classmates who spent most of their school years with us but didn't graduate from our high school because they had moved to another school district.

Of the 114 graduating members of our class there are 20 that we know have died. There are 12 that are missing. 40 class members and 3 non graduating class members attended the reunion, most with their spouses or Significant Others. My Significant Other (aka Bill Kelly) chose not to attend.....again.

All of the class members had a wonderful time! This was the best class reunion I've ever attended.

The class reunions in the past that I've attended were:

20th Class Reunion held at St. Anthony’s Lodge in Downingtown, Pennsylvania

This reunion was a blur to me because it was so crowded and noisy (with the guest DJ), that I only had a chance to talk to the classmates who sat next to me at the dining table.

25th Class reunion held at the Waynebrook Inn in Honey Brook, Pennsylvania

Again, this was another very noisy class reunion that I had to shout to talk to anyone. The DJ was painfully loud. What was with that anyway?

35th Class Reunion held at the Italian Social Club in West Chester, Pennsylvania

This was a fun class reunion. The room was big and we had time to walk around and become acquainted with our former classmates. We also had a DJ but he didn't dominate the proceedings like the previous two class reunions.

40th Class Reunion held at the Downingtown Country Club in Downingtown, Pennsylvania

This was an "Okay" class reunion. I personally felt too much time was spent by the organizers thanking one another and giving out prizes. I wasn't sure whether I was at the one of those self aggrandizing awards ceremonies that the Hollywood stars give each other or a class reunion. We had some time to mingle with our former classmates but way too much time was spent giving out those prizes (like "best buns." Again, what was that all about?)

45th Class Reunion held at the Sheraton Hotel in Frazer, Pennsylvania

Up until the class reunion last week, this is the reunion I liked the most. The accommodations were great (I stayed overnight at the hotel in very comfortable room and bed) and we had plenty of time to wander around the room and reacquaint ourselves with our former classmates. In fact, I don't remember any "prizes" being handed out at all (thank goodness.)

50th Class Reunion held at the Whitford Country Club in Exton, Pennsylvania.

This reunion was the best! We had classmates come from great distances to be reunited with former classmates that they had not seen in fifty years. There was Jane and Marlene from Florida. Fred came in from Illinois. Ted came in from Oregon. Kathy came in from Las Vegas, Nevada. Don and Jeanne came in from upper New York State. Duer and Nanci came in from Tennessee. John came up from Virginia. And Bonnie, my first date (Soph Hop 1956) came in from Detroit, Michigan. The rest of the classmates came from the Downingtown area or nearby states (like Jack, Judy and me, 2 1/2 hours away in lower Delaware.)

We had music at this reunion but it was a juke box that didn't dominate the premises. We had some classmates speak from the podium. Duer gave the invocation. Denny said a few words about the growth of the Downingtown School District since we graduated (not surprisingly it has grown greatly.)

Frank, our former class president same something but I don't remember what he said. Not much has changed since our high school days because I never remember what he said then either. Sorry Frank, no disrespect but you would have made a great politician. The lips move, sound comes out but after you're done talking, I don't know what you said. That's all right Frank, we all love you anyway.

Then it came time for Patty. If you're not of our class, it's hard to explain Patty. Let me try to explain. Patty is our "entertainer." No one cannot help but be amused when Patty "does her thing." Patty is the one who in the past has passed out the "awards." When I saw Patty tippy toe to the podium I thought, "Oh no, here come the awards." All I could think of was "Please Patty, not more 'Best Buns' awards. Al got it the last time, he doesn't need to get it again. We get it. " Thank goodness she wasn't giving out those joke awards. However, she was giving out gold stars. Her goal was to give everyone a gold star. The gold star was sort of like an award. Old habits are hard to break but this seemed harmless.

Then Carole, the organizer of the reunion, came to the microphone. She had a wonderful idea. Pass the microphone around and let everyone has their say. Oh joy. Exactly what I did not want to do. That damn microphone. Even though the reunion committee rented it, doesn't mean it has to be used. But Carole was not to be deterred. She handed the microphone off to John up from Virginia Beach. John spoke awhile about what he's been doing the past fifty years until Carole said "That's enough!" and took the mike back (in the kindest way possible of course.) I think even Carole realized that if everyone was going to get up and speak about what they did the past fifty years, we were going to be at the country club way past our closing time of 11 PM.

Carole then passed the mike around the floor to those class members who don't usually attend the reunion. It was interesting hearing them but I think a lot of us really didn't want the mike thrust into our face. I know I didn't. I know my friend Bill didn't. Hey, I came to the reunion to reacquaint myself with my former class members, not to do the Academy Award thing of thanking every one from my kindergarten teacher to my agent. But then, that's just me. What can I tell you?

After the Passing Around of the Microphone, came time to mingle with the classmates again. We did that until about 11:30 at which time some of the class members started to head to the coat roams to get their weather gear to venture out into the Nor'easter rains whipping around outside the country club. All too soon another class renion was coming to an end.

This is probably our last formal class reunion. We're at an age now that more of us won't be around for the 55th class reunion. And also, the "55th Class Reunion" doesn't have quite the ring of a 25th, 35th, 40th, 45th or 50th does it? No, I think what we're going to do as far as class reunions in the future is to have informal annual class reunions. We have done this in the past. Usually it is a picnic at a classmate's backyard in the summertime. One year we even went on a night time dinner cruise out of Philadelphia. Those picnics and the cruise were very popular. I will suggest this course to the reunion committee.

I think that is the way to go in the future. One good thing about those the informal, picnic reunions is there are no awards handed out.

By the way Patty, I didn't get a gold star.

A Day at the Beach

2009-10-21T22:14:00.000-04:00

Today I did something I haven't done since I retired to the Rehoboth Beach area of Delaware in November of 2006. I walked on the beach.

That's right, I left the boardwalk and put my sneakered feet on the sand at the beach.

Years and years ago, before I was diagnosed with acinite keratosis (a pre skin cancerous condition) I used to lay for hours on the beach. That youthful folly went out the window after I was warned I could develope skin cancer by prolonged exposure to the UV rays of the sun.

I did not move to the coastal shore of southern Delaware for the beach. I moved to Delaware for many reasons, the main ones being that Delaware is very tax friendly to a senior citizen like me. The other reason is that the Rehoboth Beach-Lewes-Milton area of Sussex County has a large gay population. While I haven't made too many friends within the gay population (I can count on one had the gay friends I have made), I am more comfortable in a community where I don't engender stares when I shop or dine with my life partner Bill. There are just too many same sex couples in the Rehoboth Beach area of Delaware to make the appearance same sex couples in public seem unusual.

I love living near the ocean. Living near the ocean has always been my goal. Three years ago I was finally able to realize that goal when I retired to Delaware. But something unusual happened when I retired to Delaware. I found that I spent very little time at the beach.

One of the reasons was that I did not venture into Rehoboth Beach at all during the tourist season. From Memorial Day to Labor Day, I avoid Rehoboth Beach like the plague. The reason I do this is that I don't enjoy sitting in traffic. Yes, traffic on Route 1 in the summertime is a nightmare in Rehoboth Beach. I've tried it once or twice and have vowed never again to spend two hours or more just to get in the lava flow that is called the Rehoboth Tourist on Rehoboth Avenue. No way.

But one thing I have noticed over the years I have lived here is that there are many perfect weather day in the off season. Today was such a day. And I took advantage of it.

This morning, after ordering photos for my class reunion at Wal-Mart, I made a right turn out of the Wal-Mart parking lot towards Rehoboth Beach. Normally, I make a left turn out of the parking lot and head north on Rt. 1 to my home on the outskirts of Lewes. No, this morning I was going to the beach.

Traffic was light as I made the left hand turn into Rehoboth down Rehoboth Avenue. All the parking meters had hoods. No parking fees! I pull into my regular parking spot across from the Purple Parrot Restaurant. The time was 10 o'clock. I planned to kill two hours wandering around Rehoboth before taking lunch (by myself) at the Purple Parrot.

I walk down to the boardwalk and began my brisk walk. This would be my exercise for the day. I walked all the up to the south end of the boardwalk until I got to the part of the boardwalk under construction. Then I went down the path between the protected sand dunes and walked on the beach. I'm on the beach. My feet are in the sand for the first time in three years.

There were a few other people the beach. On the beach today were a group of five fishermen; a man with a metal detector and a young couple taking a lazy stroll on the beach.

The beach had big ruts from some kind of vehicle. On this day there were no sun worshipers with their brightly colored towels and soft bodies on the beach. However, there were a lot of clam shells that had washed in from the ocean. Some sea gulls were perched on solitary pilings in the water. I took my camera out and started to take pictures. Surely I'm not the first person to take a picture of a sea gull at the beach but it was the first time I have done it. This was a day for me.

After about an hour on the beach I decided to take a ride to Gordon's Pond at Cape Henlopen State Park and North Shores. My sun worshiping friends spend their summer days with their friends at North Shores. I wanted to see where they go. A friend of mine at work had told me about Gordon’s Pond and how beautiful it was. They were right. The Gordon’s Pond section of Cape Henlopen State Park is a beautiful, natural wetlands preserve. Under the bright sun hung in the crystal blue sky and 75 degree temperatures, I found a seat by the trail. And there I sat.

I made a phone call to my brother in Greenville, South Carolina. I wanted to tell him how relieved I was that my Mother now living with him and his wife and getting care that only other women can provide. Mom will spend her winter in South Carolina, away from the cold snow and ice of Pennsylvania. John and I had a good conversation.

My stomach was telling me it was time for lunch. Off I headed to the Purple Parrot in Rehoboth Beach. Again I pull into my regular parking slot (no parking meter fees, I love it) and saunter into the restaurant. Violet, the waitress brings a menu over to me. But I already know what I'm getting. I'm ordering a Wimpy which is actually large hamburger. I ordered my Wimpy with all the fixings (or as my friend Tom tells me "You look like you're ordering your last meal). I order a side of French Fries. I ate all of them except two.

Now I'm stuffed. A Wimpy hamburger isn't a wimpy hamburger. Stuffed as I am I wander up the street to see if my friend The Cajun is at Job #2. I don't see him. I go up the street and turn around. I look in again; he's not at his post. Oh well, I only wanted to stop in and say "Hi!"

I go to my car. It's nice not to have to worry about the parking meter time running out. I back out and head up Rehoboth Avenue on my way out of my Day at the Beach. I loved it. And to top of a perfect day, my meal at the Purple Parrot was half off. They have a special going on in the off season, every Wednesday all day half off all sandwiches. Now I know what I will be doing on my Wednesdays until Memorial Day next year. I'll be paying a weekly visit to Rehoboth Beach,weather permitting. I love living in Delaware.

Mom Moves South

2009-10-20T10:24:00.000-04:00

On the same day I arrived in Pennsylvania (last Saturday, October 17th) for my 50th class reunion, my brother John and his wife took Mom back with them to their home in Greenville, South Carolina.

Mom is going to spend the winter with John and Barb in the warmer climes of the south. I feel so relieved now that Mom will be in a better environment than her small, dark, cluttered home in Downingtown, PA.

My other brother Isaac was living with her and taking care of her at her Pennsylvania home. But at this time of her live (she is 86 years old) Mom needs the help and companionship of another woman. She will get that at John's home with John's wife Barbara and his daughter Nancy, who also lives with them.

Mom will have her own full apartment located in John's house. She will even have her own deck. There is plenty of room for Mom to do her daily exercise with her walker. She wouldn't be able to do this if she stayed in PA for the winter. Once her driveway iced over in the depths of winter, she had to wait until the spring meltdown to get out and do her exercises.

Mom didn't want to move. She wanted to stay in her home in PA of 51 years. That's where she felt safe and comfortable. But it just wasn't working anymore. It was jut a matter of time before she fell in her cluttered house and broke something then we would have to move her. It's better for her to move on her own accord now than moving later to a nursing home because she fell and broke her hip. Plus, we also want to have more activity in her life. She was becoming very depressed and sleeping most of the day.

I feel so relieved now knowing that my Mom has finally made the move to a safer environment. The adjustment to her new surroundings will take some time but once she is settled in I am confident she will know that this is best for her.

I talked to John yesterday. He told me Mom hasn't stopped smiling since she arrived at his home. I knew the move was the right thing to do. I hope that if I reach her age, someone would do as much for me. I would love to winter in the south. But, I can't worry about that now. Right now, I’m very happy for my Mom.

Class Reunion a Success!

2009-10-18T22:06:00.001-04:00

The Nor'easter rains that blanketed the eastern coast yesterday did not dampen the success of my 50th high school class reunion. The reunion was a resounding success!

My neighbor and fellow classmate Judy and her husband Jack stopped by my house yesterday morning to give me a ride with them to attend the 50th Class Reunion of the Downingtown High School class of 1959. Judy offered me the ride after she read my Facebook comment of how I hate to drive in the rain. Am I lucky or what to have such dear and generous friends? Believe me, there is not a day that goes by that I don't appreciate my friends.

Judy's husband Jack is an excellent driver as he demonstrated again and again as he traveled north on Rt. 1 to the dreaded I-95 Interstate (which thankfully was light on traffic yesterday) and then Rt. 202. Jack was steady and cool all the way. On the way up we made a pit stop at Trader Joes in one of the many shopping malls that line Rt. 202 just across the Pennsylvania state line.

My brother John from South Carolina was up at my Mom's in Downingtown (where I was originally going to stay), to pick her up and take her south with him and his wife to Greenville to spend the winter (don't I wish it was me.) Since I didn't have a car it was suggested that I stay with Jack and Judy who were staying with another classmate (who was also named Judy) rather than stay at my Mom's. That sounded like an excellent idea to me so we were off to Judy's.

I have a feeling I'm starting to confuse things here so I'll fast forward a bit here.

At Judy's, fortified with a very robust martini (compliments of Jack), we dashed out of Judy's house into the darkness of the night and the relentlessly driving rain and into Jack's waiting SUV. We were on our way to the Whitford Country Club for an evening of spiritueux de fête and camaraderie with our former classmates and old friends.

Now I'll say one thing right here, the key to having a smashing good night is to have one of Jack's martinis before entering an event like this. My previous nervousness was gone replace by an ear to ear smile which was starting to hurt my face.

Once inside the country club, I headed to the cash bar and refortified myself with another martini (this time an Appletini martini) then I plunged into the 80 or so former classmates and their spouses (mine didn't attend, he's still shy after 45 years of domesticity with me.)

Carole at the reception desk gives me my reunion booklet (and that's another story, we almost had a disaster with the printer getting the completed booklet printed but I won't go into that in this posting), name tag (like no one would no who I was, big chance) and a big "Hi Ronnie!" We're off to the races!

The room was loud with the many conversations going at once of former classmates and friends catching up on the last 50 years of so of life. A professional photographer roamed around the perimeter of the crowd taking candid shots. No shy folks in this crowd.

As is usual at these events we look for the classmates who have never attended a reunion, anxious to see if we can still recognize them and, even more important, can they recognize us!

Ah, I heard Marlene was up from Florida. Marlene and I posed together in several yearbook photos as students playing the drums. Of course neither one of us has ever played either instrument then or since. But I digress.

I found Marlene and she was as lovely as ever! A classic beauty of who time has changed little.

And there was Bonnie. Bonnie drove down from Detroit, Michigan. My first date in high school (Soph Hop - I didn't have a car, my dad drove us, I was mortified that I didn't drive.)

Then there was Anne. Anne was one of the moral compasses in our class along with Jeanie, the other moral compass of our class who was also there last night.

There was Freddie from Illinois, now an evangelist preacher. I had a long and interesting conversation with Freddie. I talked more to Fred last night than I did all the years we played together in the high school band under Mr. Ifert. Fred is still the same as he was back in The Day, just less hair (which seemed to be a common theme among most of the guys, me included.)

Rose made it! Rosie was always one of my favorite gals in class (although she never seemed to notice me.) Her brother John (who was also in our class) convinced her to come. I was so glad to see her.

So may classmates, so little time. I'm running around like a hyper caffeinated photographer, getting as many pictures of my classmates and photos of myself with them as I could. Who knows, this may be the last time I see many of them. Some came from great distance and some came from Downingtown and nearby towns and countryside, the same area they have lived the past fifty years since graduating from high school.

At this reunion we're not talking about children, or even grandchildren as much. This one we're talking about great-grandchildren! How could this be? It just seems like a few short years ago that we were fresh faced, thin and clean shaven youngsters with full heads of hair (the guys) ready to take on life after graduating from high school as the Last Class of the Fifties.

Now the hairlines of most of the guys have receded (or disappeared altogether) and the waists have thickened. But what hasn't changed is the special uniqueness that we all felt as the last class of the Fifties to graduate from the old Downingtown Joint Junior-Senior High school building. Most of us have always felt that our class, whatever the social-economic backgrounds of the different students, was special in our camaraderie and caring for each other.

Last night was one of the best nights in my life. I will never forget it.

"Bons amis longtemps de phase et bon temps!"

Anticipating the Class Reunion

2009-10-15T10:07:00.000-04:00

This Saturday my 50th class reunion takes place at the Whitford County Club in Downingtown, Pennsylvania.

I've attended the 20th, 25th, 35th, 40th and 45th reunion. But it is the 50th reunion is the reunion that I'm looking most forward to attending.

I am glad I'm still alive. Out of 114 graduating members of our class, 18 have died. I have survived even though the classmates listed alphabetically before and after me have died.

I am glad to say that I weigh the same now (160-165 lbs) the same now as I did when I graduated high school in June of 1959. However, my hairline is a few more inches above my eyebrows than it was 50 years ago.

A Nor'easter is scheduled for this weekend. I was dreading driving up to Pennsylvania in all that rain but there was no way I was going to miss my 50th class reunion. However, I was fortunate in that a classmate who lives nearby saw my posting on Facebook about me hating to drive in the rain. She called yesterday and asked if I would like to ride up to Pennsylvania with her and her husband. Would I ever! Absolutely! Now I can have a martini or two at the reunion and not have to worry about getting a DUI driving home.

I hear the rain beating against the windows of my home office as I type this blog posting. This is the beginning of the Nor'easter that was forecast for the weekend. I am so glad we had wonderful, sunny weather for last weekend's Equality March in Washington D.C. Things are going well. Life is good.

Note: the picture on this blog is me (really) and my date for my Senior Prom (1959) Jeanette Pritchard.
Cute couple huh?

Still on a High

2009-10-13T22:13:00.001-04:00

Two days after the National Equality March in Washington, D.C., I'm still on a natural high. Of course that is the best kind of high one can attain (not that I would know of any other "highs.")

My friend Bob and I must have walked at least five miles around Washington on Sunday. Most of the marchers were in their early 20's. They can walk all day and dance the night away. That was not the case with these two marchers in their 60's (and I'm closer to 70 which is still hard for me to believe.) If we tried that we would probably end up in the local emergency room.

Last night at work all the walking we did in Washington finally caught up with me. Both of my hip joints ached so much they made me light headed. I felt like they needed a shot of W-2. I was walking around like a man with a boom handle up his behind.

Man oh man; the old body just can't do what it used to do. When I was in my early 20's I remember times I would be up all night and not get to bed until 4 or 5 in the morning and go do work the next day at 8:30. How I ever did that I have no idea. If I tried that now I......well it would be impossible.

All morning I sat at the computer and reviewed my 230 pictures and videos of the Equality March. I will sort through those and put a nice album up on my Facebook account for all to share. I do have some rather nice iconic pictures to share. This is what I enjoy doing. I think I missed my mark in life; I should have been a photographer. Just more proof that one should follow one's heart when pursuing a lifetime career. Do what you enjoy doing. I've always liked taking pictures.

My friend Bob and I went out to dinner with our friend The Cajun at the Purple Parrot in Rehoboth Beach tonight.

We have our town back again. While we appreciate all the summertime tourists and all the money they bring into the local economy it is always nice to regain our town again. While it was a bit chilly sitting at the open air tables at the Parrot and the street traffic was light, that was a small price to pay to have the noise and crowds gone.

We ordered our usual Wimpy burgers (which are anything but "wimpy") and Happy Hour glasses of wine. Our cute waiter wasn't hassled by a crowded restaurant and was thus able to spend some time with the three Old Guys.

Yes indeed. Today was a good day which was topped off by a cute waiter. Life for me doesn't get much better than that. I’m good. Life is good.

After the Equality March

2009-10-11T23:58:00.000-04:00

What a day! The weather was just perfect. The skies above were crystal blue punctuated by white puffy clouds. The temperature hovered around 65 degrees and a slight breeze. We could not have asked for better day to have a march for equality for the GBLT community in our nation's capital.

As I mentioned in my previous blog, the first and only march I ever participated in was the first march on Washington D.C. for gay rights back on October 14, 1979. This march was different in many ways.

First, this march was much nosier. The 1979 march had many more people (over 100,000 versus the 40,000 or so that were at today's march) but we were all quiet. Remember this was the first ever gay rights march in Washington D.C.

Our route from the Washington Monument was lined by hundreds of police on motorcycles. That was for our protection. In 1979, there was so much tension in the air you could slice it. By contrast, today's March route was not lined by police motorcycles. In fact, we had no police protection at all other than the standard police protection afforded all citizens of this country. That's progress, now we of the GBLT community are being treated like all other citizens.

Today's march was boisterous. It was like a block party. There was no tension in the air. Oh sure, along the parade route there was the occasional religious bigot holding a bible up and shouting that we were all going to hell. But they were quickly shouted down, in the "nicest way possible."

Color abounded with the many rainbow flags. Laughter was heard all around. Even though the parade was somewhat disorganized (as most parades are), everyone was patient and good natured about the delays.

My only problem after walking the route from the White House to the Capitol Building was that my back was aching something terrible. My friend Bob and I had to sit on the capital lawn to recover.

Oh, I also lost one of my rainbow flags (I quickly purchased another) and my hooded sweat jacket during my walks. I especially miss my navy blue hooded sweat jacket but I'm sure it has found a new home. Hopefully the new owners will appreciate it as much as I have over the years.

Bob and I enjoyed out two hour plus outing on the cool, green grass of the Capitol Building grounds. I took the occasion to walk around and take pictures of the Capital Building and the demonstrators and I even met a few and exchanged e-mail address with them to send them copies of the pictures I took of them.

Then it came time to meet up with our little group that took the bus from the K-Mart parking lot in Rehoboth Beach earlier in the morning for our trip to Washington. We were to all meet outside of one of the buildings of the Smithsonian Institute.

Bob and I arrived early. Bob wanted to stop inside the Smithsonian to get a new booklet. I went in with him. I soon noticed that I was being given disapproving stares by some of the more conservative tourists in the building. One that I remember especially was a lady about my age (67) who was sitting outside on a bench with her husband. I nodded a friendly acknowledgement in her direction as I followed Bob into the building. She gave me a cold look and turned her head without acknowledging me. I mentioned this to Bob and he said "No wonder, you're waving your flag (the gay rainbow flag) all around." And indeed I was plus I had about eight strands of various colored bling (Mardi Gras necklace beads) draped around my neck. I was so caught up in my freedom that I forgot that I was entering a different zone when we went to the Smithsonian with all the regular tourists.

Well, not wishing to offend anyone's conservative sensibilities I quickly retreated to the Smithsonian men's room and furled my rainbow flag and took my many colored necklaces off and placed them in my camera bag. I emerged from the rest room a different man. I told Bob "I can always pass. I’ve been doing it for years"

I immediately noticed that I was no longer receiving disapproving glances from the folks now that I had put my beads and flag away. However, Bob did receive one or two “looks.” He was still wearing his Equality March T-shirt (which he layered over his other clothes earlier in the parade.) However, his T-shirt was plain white with printing on it. Not like me, a gay man proudly displaying his many colors. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Something very interesting did happen during the parade. Just as we started someone shouted behind me "Look! There's a rainbow!" And sure enough, I looked up from the street to the sky above a nearby building and there was the rainbow. What really made this rainbow significant was because there was not a hint of rain today. The whole day was sunny. So, one has to wonder......were we receiving a blessing from Above? It sure did look like it.

The Morning of the Equality March

2009-10-11T06:21:00.003-04:00

In a few short hours I catch the bus for the trip to Washington D.C. for today's March for Equality.

Thirty years ago on October 14, 1979 I also caught a bus on an early Sunday morning. This bus left from center city Philadelphia where I lived at that time. This bus left for Washington D.C. and the first ever gay rights march in our nation's capital. At that time I used to keep journal entries. Below is the journal entry I made after I returned from the trip:

Sunday, October 14, 1979

"NATIONAL GAY MARCH ON WASHINGTON!!"

"I did it! Something I'm very proud of. Participated in the March on Washington for Gay Rights. Very spur of the moment but right!

I do regret not having took my camera. I thought I would be a tourist but everybody had a camera! And what a time to take a picture! And plenty of opportunity. I just wasn't thinking. Hope there's another one. I won't make the same mistake.

People, gay people, from all over the country! Amazing! Felt so good. Now to see what the news says about it. Wouldn't surprise me if they said nothing.

This is the first demonstration I was ever in and it was the right one. Met a guy I hung around with. Not my type but it was good not to be alone.

Saw Al from Provincetown. Bobby from San Francisco. Also Richard but he was very rude.

This is something. Be a long time until I get over this one. Wish Bob went with me."

It was very interesting for me to read this journal entry. I had not read it since I entered it thirty years ago. I didn't remember if I took my camera but now I know. Notice the importance I placed on having a camera with me. Oh how I wish I had taken a camera. But look at my reason, I was afraid They would think I was a tourist! When I got there I was stunned at how many people were at the march. Oh how I wish I had taken my camera. I won't make that mistake today. Today I take my camera.

Now I have to get ready for my Big Trip. I am excited, again.