The First Hour

Day 3 begins at firsthour.net

2008-10-01T11:53:00.002-05:00

My 49th First Hour review has now been posted at firsthour.net, and it's a dandy. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare kicks off the site with a perfect score.

This is probably my last post here on Blogger, I think I'll start redirecting over there automatically pretty soon. It's been fun, but it all continues at firsthour.net.

firsthour.net now open

2008-09-06T14:55:00.003-05:00

I'm current transferring all First Hour reviews from here to my new site, firsthour.net. There are 48 total First Hour reviews plus about 20 Beyond the First Hour reviews but I have pretty much everything automated so it should go pretty quickly. Once all the reviews have been migrated I will start posting brand new reviews only there. I know it has been a while since I reviewed something new but I've been really busy (my wife is 8 and a half months pregnant!) but I'm looking forward to writing something new.

Check out firsthour.net while you're waiting, I'll post something here again when the site is ready and the first new review is there!

Game 48: Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures

2008-06-16T16:30:00.024-05:00

Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures is a new adventure game in the same vein as Lego Star Wars. I've had great fun with the recent series of Lego games and since I've always been a fan of Indiana Jones, this is one game I'm excited to play. I've only played one other Indiana Jones game before and that was Desktop Adventures, a fun, randomly generated top-down computer game. Lego Indiana Jones supposedly does not include any content from the newest movie, which doesn't bother me, I thought it was pretty bad honestly. I will be playing the Nintendo DS version of Lego Indiana Jones.

This is my last review for Day 2 of The First Hour. Another 24 hours of video gaming has passed and another 24 will begin soon. All reviews here on thefirsthourblog.com will be moving to firsthour.net and all new reviews will be posted there. That site will consolidate my other site, beyondthefirsthour.com into it also. I'm really excited for it and I plan to launch it this summer. It will probably be a few weeks though as I have just closed on a house and also have a baby on the way, so it's going to be a busy summer! I'm excited for the future though and still plan to review just the first hour of video games. Heck, that's all I have time for anyway.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select New Game and the first hour of Lego Indiana Jones begins, the classic Indiana Jones theme is playing in the background. Well, the game has started right away: I'm controlling Professor Jones in what appears to be the university he works at when he's not raiding temples. With me is some dude holding an umbrella. I can whip with the A button.

This is as interesting as the bottom screen gets, so I'll cut if off from now on. Credit for images go to Gamespot and IGN.

01 - I head downstairs destroying stuff with my whip and collecting brick coins.

02 - I've found the shop where I can buy characters, hints, and extras. Not right now , I'll head upstairs and start the first level.

03 - Indy enters the Raiders of the Lost Ark room and then goes through the Lost Temple door... A cutscene begins, Indy is walking through the jungle getting shot at by blow darts while narrowly missing booby traps, his companions aren't so lucky though!

04 - I now have control, looks like I'm in the jungle around the temple.
05 - My little traitorous friend with me uses a shovel instead of a whip. I find a spot where he can dig and by sliding my thumb on the bottom screen, I can dig up some hidden treasure.

06 - Well, it's not buried treasure, just a buried platform. That should help though. Except no one can double jump so I can't get high enough anyway.

07 - Oh it wasn't a platform at all but an object that when destroyed releases bricks Indiana can put together to form the real platform. Convoluted, but that's these Lego games for you.

08 - Indiana Jones can whip himself across pits with the help of me sliding my thumb across the bottom screen, similar to digging with the shovel.
10 - This game feels so much like Lego Star Wars its unbelievable! Almost the same game so far with a different skin.

11 - My first enemy! One of those blow dart natives. I whip him to disarm him of his deadly dart and then beat him down with my fists. Satisfying.

12 - In typical Lego video game logic, I build three giant idols out of bricks and then whip them all to make a bridge appear out of nowhere. Of course!

14 - Just fought two more blow darters, but after disarming them they just stood there... Lousy AI.
15 - I've just collected two artifact treasures, if I collect all 10 in the level something will be unlocked back at the college.

16 - Not sure if this is intentional or not, but Indy can't seem to whip things directly in front of him. I suppose realistically it makes sense, but for a Lego game?

18 - Awesome! Just inflated a rubber raft by blowing into my microphone. Haha, fun stuff. Think I might have found a secret area by taking the raft behind the waterfall... but there's a door that only Scholars can enter. Are you telling me Doctor Jones is not a scholar?

20 - Now there's a red pad that only characters with pet monkeys can use! I want a pet monkey!
21 - What I love about these games is that there's so much crap to destroy. Nearly everything falls to the weight of Indy's fists. Just noticed that you don't have to slide your thumb on the touch screen to do anything cool, just pressing the A button works just as well for whipping and digging.

23 - Had to collect three blue bricks so that I could properly enter the Lost Temple.

24 - A torch puzzle lies before me, I need to do a bunch of whipping with Indy to unlock a torch so that I can light some unlit torches. Get all that?

25 - The hardest part of that puzzle was just picking up the torch! I had to stand in exactly the right spot and slam the A button.
26 - Found a door that only Thuggee characters can enter... what the heck is a Thuggee?

27 - Cool, the blow dart hallway from the movie, I had to navigate Indy onto only green tiles on the floor. Stepping on a red tile shoots a dart and kills me instantly! Thankfully in Lego games you appear again right where you died.

29 - Blowing out torches is fun.

30 - Halfway through and there's been some pretty fun platforming so far. But a total lack of bad guys! I suppose there weren't a lot of baddies running around inside the temple in the movie though...
31 - I find a hole in the wall that only small characters can crawl through. Short Round, where are you when I need you? Oh, I can see the Idol!

32 - I've just collected enough coins to achieve Adventurer status for this level!

33 - A cutscene of Indy grabbing the Idol, just like in the movie, but with Legos!

34 - Everyone knows what happens when Indy grabs the Idol... unleash the giant rolling boulder! I run towards the screen with the boulder behind me following the line of coins to safety. It was pretty funny when my AI partner got rolled up in the boulder and was stuck on it like Katamari Damacy! Hahaha! I'm able to grab the lucrative red brick at the end of the level. Those are always crucial for... something. Extras typically.
35 - After we escape from the boulder, a cutscene starts that is just like the movie. Indiana is forced to hand over the Idol but is able to escape on the plane. I save my game.

36 - Another cutscene of Dr. Jones in his classroom with the girl and her freaky eyes. Creepy...

37 - The cutscene continues and Indiana appears at Marion's bar, somewhere in Nepal I think (disappointing that the game didn't do the classic map scene when traveling). Well, we're right in the action! The Nazis have stormed in!

39 - Marion tosses bottles of alcohol as her weapon! And in one of the coolest things so far, the bottles explode when they're thrown at fire. Awesome!
41 - Some idiot is rolling kegs down the stairs at me like Donkey Kong! Luckily I've played that game before. Found a door that only BOTCS characters can enter. That's an odd one.

43 - Had to use Marion's bottle tossing against that nerdy Nazi who was trying to steal her medallion. Remember in the movie where he burns his hand on it and its symbols get imprinted into his palm? Well, in Lego Indiana Jones he sits on it! That's hilarious.

44 - We escaped the burning bar and Indy and Marion head into the cold Nepalian night.

45 - There sure are a lot of doors and chutes I can't enter. It's kind of annoying, but yet, another staple of Lego Star Wars.

I've ran out of DS screenshots so you'll have to put up with some pretty Xbox 360 screens.

46 - Wow cool, I just found a rifle to shoot with! No more punching!

48 - I love how the game encourages blowing up bottles of alcohol so much.

50 - Now the game just told me to touch gunpowder kegs with lit torches to make them go boom. The Lego Anarchist's Cookbook.

51 - You know, this part of the game wasn't in the movie at all. Didn't they just fast forward to Egypt or something? I don't remember Indy and Marion wandering around outside fending off even more Nazis.
52 - I really wish Indiana could double jump, that would make things much easier.

53 - Wow, Indy just pulled a tree over with his whip. That's one strong professor.

54 - Now I was just instructed on how to detonate dynamite!

56 - Just punched a guy off a cliff. This game is suspiciously violent!
58 - Speaking of violence, I just received a machine gun and started blowing away Nazis, or whatever they call them in this supposed kid friendly game.

60 - A cutscene of Indy and Marion stealing a jeep and that's the end of the second level and the end of the first hour of Lego Indiana Jones!

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 6
The story of Lego Indiana Jones has so far followed the first movie pretty closely. The cutscenes are actually pretty long and are virtual reenactments of the film but replaced with Lego characters and injected with more attempts at humor. But since this is a video game, there's a lot of "padding" to the story to lengthen the gameplay. But hey, at least I got to do the boulder chase.

Graphics and Sound: 8
The game looks great, the developers did an awesome job porting this to the DS. The new explosion effects are particularly impressive, I really don't remember those at all from Lego Star Wars. The cutscenes on the other hand look pretty weak. I wish they could have shown them in realtime with the game's engine, but instead they're kind of pixely.

Gameplay: 7
One of the great things about Lego Star Wars is the sheer variety of characters available: Jedi, Sith, blaster-wielders, Ewoks, etc. The first hour of Indiana Jones is limited to only three though: Indy with his whip, a native with a shovel, and Marion with her alcohol tossing goodness. I don't really think there's as much potential in the Indiana universe to really go crazy, but maybe they'll surprise me later on. An annoying problem with the controls is that they're not very consistent on the DS. With Indiana, the Y button punches and the A button whips. But with the native, the Y button uses his weapon but the A button doesn't do anything, and the same with Marion, the Y button tosses bottles. And when Indiana picks up a weapon, sometimes the Y button wields it and other times the A button. I was still noticing issues with the controls after an hour so I think it is notable.

Fun Factor: 8
I love these games. Destroying crap with my whip, tossing bottle of alchol in fires, punching guys off cliffs; what isn't there to love? I read earlier that Lucasarts removed any kind of Nazi symbolishm in the game including simply the word Nazi. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but even without Nazis, this game is surprisingly no-holds bar with its action. Nothing graphic of course, but Lego Indiana Jones holds pretty true to the films. Good fun all around.

Minutes to Action: 4

Overall: 8
Lego Indiana Jones wastes little time getting into the meat of the game. The action is relatively slow going compared to many other action games, but it's chock full of stuff to do and places to explore. Indiana Jones is a great setting for the newest Lego game and the DS is a great platform to play these games on. Next up is Lego Batman, which I'm equally excited about. But as for the first hour of Lego Indy? Worth every brick.

Game 47: Star Ocean: The Second Story

2008-06-09T16:30:00.002-05:00

Star Ocean: The Second Story is an action RPG for the original PlayStation. The game allows the player to make many choices along the way, from what characters will be in your party to how difficult the secret final boss will be. Star Ocean is known for its fun and varied gameplay and its absolutely atrocious, but hilarious voice acting. It was released in the United States back in 1999 but since the first Star Ocean was never released outside of Japan, I'm not really sure how Enix expected it to performed. The game follows the story of two intergalactic strangers and their impact on the future of multiple planets. Let's get into the beginning of that story, as Star Ocean: The Second Story's first hour is about to begin.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select New Game and the hour begins. First up I have to select my sound system, stereo I suppose. Vibration on. Next I have to select my character, either the blonde Claude Kenni or the blue haired Rena Lanford. It's time to mix things up, I choose Rena.
01 - Battle mode set to Standard, have to hold the square button to move around in combat. Interesting. A cutscene starts, we're zooming in on a lush, green planet. Lightning crackles as what looks like a worm hole appears above a forest. Hey, there's a village in the distance, and it's not on fire, yet.

03 - I'm now looking at the in-game graphics. Rena, our heroine, runs out of a house with her mom chasing after her. The graphics seem really zoomed out, everyone seems tiny.

04 - They're still talking, something about the Sorcery Globe landing and causing weird stuff. An earthquake has recently hit and is causing animals to become violent. Rena runs off anyway. Rena's mother gets a [...] dialogue box above her head.

05 - I now have control over Rena and I open a few treasure chests near her. Some armor, 200 Fol (money), and a resurrection bottle. Oh sweet, my equipment was updated automatically when I grabbed the armor.
06 - Some birds fly overhead in a pretty cool effect. Everyone in this town has funny looking hair. I try to leave the village but Rena tells me that's not the way to Shingo Forest.

07 - I head out the south exit and the camera changes view, it's not almost horizontal with the ground. I save my game at the purple save point.

08 - Rena is now in the forest, no world map necessary.

09 - I just got ambushed by a giant ape! Luckily Claude arrived and was able to save me. He got to fight in a battle but since he's not my main character, I didn't get to do anything. Lame. Rena doesn't understand how Claude killed the ape (he used a laser gun). And his clothes are weird too.
11 - Rena runs off and then waits for Claude, he catches up a moment later and they talk about running away from each other. I like the different camera views we get in this game. The sprites look good against the static backgrounds.

12 - The music so far has been pretty typical of an RPG. But Claude was talking during the battle, forgot to mention that before. The two officially introduce each other and Rena starts sweating. Claude doesn't know where he is.

13 - They're walking back to the village together, Claude explains he's from Earth. Rena has never heard of "Urth." Haha. Rena calls her village Arlia.

15 - After some more chatting, we enter Arlia to chat some more. There sure are a lot of [...] emoticon moments. Claude asks to be shown around.
16 - We enter the church. Rena talks for a moment, I hope there aren't many buildings here. I guide the pair over to Rena's house but Rena says she has to clean up first. Sounds like fun.

17 - Rena tells her mom that The Warrior has arrived and has come to save them. She says he had a Sword of Light, which was his laser gun.

19 - Claude entered the house but Rena told him to get out again. Blah blah blah, just get on with it! Maybe I should have been Claude, at least I would have been able to fight. Right after Claude leaves Rena's mom tells me to invite him back in. Now I have to go find Cloud, I mean Claude, again.

21 - Haven't found Claude yet. But I did steal some Strawberry Jam from a chest in some kids' house.
23 - Still haven't located the loser, even though I think I've looked in every building. Oh neat, reflections in the water.

24 - Lame, I had to leave the second village area, and then come back again. There he is just wandering around. I run back to Rena's house. Wow, Rena's mom made a feast while we were gone. But I'd rather fight a monster right now than eat.

26 - One hour later... our heroes are bushed and ready for bed. But not together.

27 - Time to tell the mayor what's happening, his name is Regis. They talk about The Warrior and the Sword of Light for a minute.
29 - I bring the mayor back to Rena's house. Oh no, Rena's mom has told Claude about The Warrior.

30 - Claude and Regis talk at the kitchen table. There sure is a heck of a lot of talking in this game.

32 - Since Claude won't fess up to being The Warrior of Light, the townsfolk think this might be a case of mistaken identity. I really have no idea though.

33 - The screen switches to a view of outer space and Regis tells Claude the news of a meteorite hitting a town and causing crazy stuff to happen. Much violence and demonizing ensued. They call the meteorite, The Sorcery Globe. Quite the odd name.
36 - More [...] emoticons. Regis decides Claude is not The Warrior. Rena doesn't like that idea. She walks out of the house. Oh, that means I've walked out of the house.

37 - I'm now in Rena's room, I raid her treasure chest. I get a Blackberry! Wonder if I get a connection way out here. I take Rena to the mayor's house to look for Claude, he's upstairs but the mayor won't let me up there.

39 - With no where else to go I head to the forest. Back at the scene of the ape crime, Rena asks her father what she should do. Her father?

40 - A sepia-toned flashback! Rena is in her room and wanders out into the hallway. She can hear Regis and her mom talking about the death of her father.
42 - Turns out Rena is not really anyone's daughter... The game returns to the forest where Claude approaches. [...]

44 - Wow, this is boring. Rena asks Claude to leave again after they talk about him not being The Warrior.

45 - Running back to the village, Rena encounters Alen, a mysterious man with a red cape. Woah, Alen is ready to marry Rena!

47 - The preparations are complete for their marriage ceremony! Rena has no idea what's going on though. Some guards approach and the music beat tempos up.
48 - Sounds like Alen might be under the influence of the evil Sorcery Globe. The village gathers where Alen announces his master plan and demands the old people to let him through with Rena. More [...] emoticons.

50 - Heh, we're now in Alen's bedroom. He tells Rena not to try and escape, but of course, we will. I regain control after about five minutes.

52 - That's weird, I'm allowed to run around the house as much as I want. The front door is locked though. Rena enters a room and mutters, "there must be a way out." This is my key out of here, folks! A statue glistens.

53 - Wow, let's make it more obvious. The statue moves a bookcase revealing some stairs down. I am in the Silva Drift, looks like some underground caves.
54 - There's a guy lying on the ground, it's Mr. Bossman! He describes Alen's crazy moods and that I must escape quickly.

55 - I save and head deeper into the cave.

56 - Oh my gosh. Fixty-six minutes into the game I get into my first battle. And it's against two giant rabbits! I take them down with my punches! Pretty sweet!
57 - Next I take out three guys with swords with my fists of fury! Battles are random encounters, so beware if you don't like that.

59 - It's easy to miss these rabbits as they hop around and the battles are real time enough that you have to time things correctly. I find a sign that says, "Danger! To Dragon's Nest!" Awesome. Oh, but she won't go any further. Lame.

60 - Just fought five sword guards, all they did was wander around the battlefield as I picked them off one by one. Well, that's the end of the first hour of Star Ocean: The Second Story.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 3
Star Ocean: The Second Story's first hour is simply overrun with story. And sadly, while this tale has its moments, it's dragged along at such a slow pace it is nearly unbearable. Star Ocean is trying to introduce way too much too early and the characters, especially Rena, were injected with way too much emotion that doesn't work in video games. She's constantly running away from the situation, slowing the introduction of the massive plot to a snail's pace. And while the wall of text is more than I can handle, the emoticons such as [...] that slowly appear over the characters' heads is the last straw. Just give me the basics and let's move on with the game. Story elements can be told along the way.

Graphics and Sound: 8
I really liked the look of this game. The graphics were lush, lots of greenery and bright colors in and around the village. The environments became a little drab when I reached the cave but the textures were still very well done. The characters sprites looked awesome and the accompanying animations were excellent. There were even some really cool particle effects during battle, if only I was able to see more of them. I didn't hear much music besides the game's village theme and the battle music, but what I heard was good enough. And Star Ocean's classic voice acting makes its debut, but since they're only utilized during battle, I once again didn't get to hear much.

Gameplay: 2
Star Ocean 2 has the action on the wrong side of the first hour. RPGs like Final Fantasy VII and even Skies of Arcadia throw you into the action first, and then let it cool down as the plot is introduced. Maybe if I had played as Claude I would have felt a little bit more satisfaction, but one battle does not an action packed first hour make. There's a whole lot of pressing X to progress the text box, and you can't even walk around on your own very much. The only battles I fought were so fast-paced and short I know I didn't experience everything they have to offer. This is a disappointment.

Fun Factor: 1
Not fun at all. I don't know what else to say. There's essentially no redeemdable value in Star Ocean: The Second Story's first hour.

Minutes to Action: 56

Overall: 1
Well, Star Ocean has achieved a first hour score lower than any other game I have ever reviewed. Through a sheer combination of almost no gameplay, nearly zero fun, and the game almost taking its one and only hour to get to anything that even remotely resembles excitement, we have a score of one. Maybe one day I will discover a game that actually has a worse first hour and give it a zero, but right now, Star Ocean: The Second Story is the lowest of the low. I will admit, I have beaten this game before and enjoyed it immensely, but this is simply not how you start out a game. Let this be a warning to all game writers out there.

Game 46: The World Ends with You

2008-06-02T16:30:00.025-05:00

The World Ends with You is a new action RPG for the Nintendo DS released by Square Enix. Unlike their Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts series, The World is set in modern day Tokyo. Battles are fought at a fast pace and the game is ripe with Japanese pop culture, music, and style. This is a unique game and proof that Square Enix still takes chances now and then. It has rewarded them well too as the game is getting great reviews and I'm sure it is selling well. Enough talk though, let's get on with the review.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I point at New Game and the first hour of The World Ends with You begins. A cutscene starts on both screens. Some punk kid with spiky hair is yelling at the people around him. "Shut up!" "Just go the hell away!" Man, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. "I've got my values, so keep yours, all right?" What is this emo's problem?
01 - We're looking at a busy Tokyo street, looks like Shibuya. The kid is laying on the road with everyone walking around him. He looks at his hand, there's a skull on it! I now have control, well, all I can do is click the bottom screen to advance the dialogue.

02 - The kid can hear voices in his head. There's some J-pop playing in the background. He doesn't know where the skull came from, turns out it's just a pin. I'm now able to run around the street. I press the skull icon in the bottom right corner of the screen.

03 - Neat, I can see the thoughts of people around me. Some guy just got fired from his tenth job, ouch. It seems the pin is allowing him into people's minds. Not everyone in the area, but a couple of people.

04 - His hi-tech phone beeps, "Reach 104, you have 60 minutes" reads a text message. Cryptic. "Fail and face erasure! - The Reapers." Death was on the phone! Haha, he thinks it is spam, deleted. But it comes back... woah.
05 - Now he's going crazy, a 60 minute countdown has just appeared on his hand! Now there are frogs running around the street too. They're big, and attacking our "hero".

06 - My first battle, but the game doesn't let me do anything but run away. Boring. Stupid frogs. Ah, the kid's name is Neku. I had a cat named Neko. Not quite the same I suppose. I can drag Neku around to make him dash.

07 - Everyone on the street is ignoring Neku, guess they get weirdos like this quite a bit in downtown Tokyo. The title screen appears, oh, looks like it is the opening song.

08 - Flashes of the game's characters go by while some J-rap plays. The game has a unique art style, kind of reminds me of Jet Set Radio for some reason. Must be the urban, spray painted style. The opening credits end.
09 - Two characters are talking now, just text though, no more voice acting after the initial "shut up!" outburst. These guys are obviously bad guys as they're shrouded in dark and look mysterious. The guy has orange hair while the girl has pink, they're also abnormally skinny. They discuss the game they're about to play. Must be the Reapers. Don't fear the Reaper!

11 - Uhh, I guess the general public can see the monsters now? As there was a short cutscene where they were whisked away by some spirits. Suddenly a girl runs up and demands I forge a pact with her. Together, we can beat the noise! Weirdo. Neku agrees to the pact. A Sailor Moon style cutscene flashes with the characters blankly staring forward as we fly by Neku and the girl's bodies.

13 - The girl gives me a pin with a flame on it. Flame on! Sorry. I torch the frog in battle while running away from him. Two more frogs go down and frog legs are served. Just drag on empty air to start the flame, but it takes a few seconds to recharge after using it.
14 - Neku can't believe he just shot flame out of his hand, the girl explains it is a psych power.

15 - The girl's name is Shiki Misaki. And the freaking same J-pop song is still playing. They talk about the Reaper's game which lasts seven days. Don't think I could possibly listen to this song for that long.

16 - Neku tries to ditch the girl, I now have control again on the street. We're at the Statue of Hachiko. Ugh, the girl whines some more about the pact we made and how we have to stick together.

18 - Neku and Shiki are still arguing... just shut up already.
19 - I try to enter another area but an invisible wall blocks us. Our way to building 104 (our destination) is blocked. Oh, some guy in a red sweatshirt is staring at us. And suddenly the wall comes down and we can proceed. Whatever.

20 - We reach the building and our timers disappear, guess that's the end of day one. Not that hard. Oh, not yet, we have to fight some more frogs! But this time together as a team.

22 - Well, that was kind of interesting. Neku still controls with the stylus but I can use the D-pad to trigger moves from Shiki, kind of like Zell's limit break from Final Fantasy VIII. I'm not sure if I'm coordinated enough to keep this up though. That was just one frog!

23 - Shiki will attack on her own if you don't do anything, that should be helpful. One of the game's tactics is to pass a green ball between the two screens during battle. The game calls it the puck and you build combos with it, whomever has the puck should be the one attacking. That should assist in my concentration.
24- Someone stop the music!

25 - A boss battle against a giant gray bear. I focus on "passing the puck" and the battle is slightly easier to understand. I get some pins from winning.

26 - Training time! A four page tutorial on the... save menu? Come on. There's even a section on "Why to save."

27 - Day one of the game is officially over. Six more to go. Neku and Shiki are back to arguing. And the music is still playing.
28 - A new text message comes in, "Set the cursed sculpture free. You have 60 minutes." Dang you Reapers! You know, I don't think the timer actually matters. I had 60 minutes last time and it only took me about 20 minutes but I still only had 20 minutes left on the timer. Suspicious...

30 - Shiki is wearing a GIANT hat and Neku has obnoxious large purple headphones on. Shiki is also proudly showing off her gross looking hip bones. Fashion these days.

31 - I regain control and see one of those sweatshirt wearing creeps. He doesn't want to talk. I walk to the left and run into another invisible wall. What now? Shiki honestly thinks we'll never finish the mission. Have some heart, woman!

32 - Neku tries to read the red hoodie's mind with no luck. But he decides to help us anyway, kill the bad guys in the area.
34 - I can only see the noise in mind-reading mode. But I can't walk around while doing that. Can't Neku walk and read minds at the same time?

35 - Still jabbering on, Neku reaches into his pocket and finds a ton more pins to use. I go into mind reading and challenge the first set of frogs to battle. Two new pins, one shoots balls of electricity like a gun and the other summons lightning from the sky. Kinda cool, and relatively easy to use. Of course, I didn't have to worry about Shiki during that battle.

37 - Next battle gives me the flame pin and some kind of hand... I have no idea what to do with that though, but after the battle the game clues me in: it's for flinging objects at enemies. Like cars and signs. Just flick the object at the baddie. Why don't they tell me this before the battle? Whatever.

38 - I only get one pin in the final battle of the area, it is called Shockwave and basically serves as a melee attack at close range. Shiki is surprised Neku can use all the pins. The next area opens up to us.
40 - The two lovebirds are fighting each other now. How annoying. Neku finally runs off to the next area.

41 - Oh snaps, some brute runs up and challenges us! I think there's a case of mistaken identity. His pact partner shows up and explains things: the two of them are Players, just like Shiki and Neku. The older kid thought we were Reapers. I wish.

42 - Neku ignores the two as Shiki introduces us. This kid is quite anti-social. The two other players explain the use of cell phones. You can pick out which pins you want to use in battle on them. Should be useful. They give us a soda can pin. Must be for the sugar rush.

44 - The four minus Neku blab on about the game a while longer. Speculating about useless things that we'll obviously find out in due time.
46 - I finally regain control! The soda can pin is for HP regeneration. I go into the phone menu to check things out. A seven page tutorial opens up about the top screen's layout. You can adjust the level of difficulty and your character's levels. Interesting. Well, you can only adjust to a level you've reached, so I'm stuck at level 1. I am able to save my game though.

47 - Checking out the pin menu, an eleven page tutorial opens up. Man, this game is wordy! Square Enix at its best.

48 - I sell a couple of pins that are meant to be sold and then select my "deck." I'm going to start out with the slashing melee attack and the flames. Should work well I believe.

49 - Neku goes into mind reader mode, no enemies, just more people complaining about their life. This is a pretty cool concept though. Last time I saw mind reading in a game used to this extent was Golden Sun, and it was executed relatively poorly in that game.
51 - Another red-hoodied man signals the time to do battle with the Noise in the area. Bring it on. Well, after Shiki and Neku bicker for an hour.

52 - Just had a sweet puck bouncing battle against a wolf. We receive a B rank, not bad. I have to defeat all the enemies in the area to life the curse.

53 - Ugh, that was obnoxious. E-rank! Neku couldn't decide if he wanted to run around or use his flame attack. I almost die in the next battle, and get another E-rank.

55 - C-rank and a level up! 10 consecutive hits. Nice! You get 100% health after every battle which is convenient.
57 - I didn't destroy all the Noise but I met the objective... okay. Guess I just had to defeat the one over the statue. The clock is still ticking though so I suppose that wasn't the right statue to uncurse.

58 - We run to the Statue of Hachiko but are stopped by an obvious really bad guy. Oh, we weren't stopped, he was just him watching us from the distance. Creepy bastard.

59 - Not sure what just happened but I fought a pig and got an A-rank! My life is complete. I think that was a special Noise as there are none others in the area.

60 - Shiki points out that something is literally wrong with the statue, looks like I need to scrub him off, but time's up! The first hour of The World Ends with You is over!
Time for some scores out of 10.

Story: 5
The World Ends with You's first hour story is one of those where it just tosses you into a mysterious situation that neither you nor your protagonist have any idea what's going on. It reminds me of the first hour Bioshock, but this is executed much worse. But Bioshock isn't burdened by Square Enix's need to have a ton of boring exposition and a multitude of chatty characters. I think the concept of being sucked into a game of death puppeteered by some evil shadows is interesting, but of course, nothing new. The modern day setting though really saves this game. If this was set in a medievel castle town or a pristine space port, I would have been bored to death, instead, I was just simply bored.

Graphics and Sound: 6
I mostly enjoyed the game's anime look and colorful palette, but seriously, the music is simply awful. I don't hate J-pop, heck, I used to listen to it kind of regularly, but the music in this game is just plain annoying. Each track seems like it is 10 seconds long and on infinite loop of the most obnoxious part of the song. I could have turned the volume off but then I wouldn't really be experiencing the game for this review, so whatever.

But like I said, the graphics are nice and detailed. The character sprites look great though I can't say I'm a fan of the art that much. Like so many anime characters, Neku and Shiki are abnormally skinny and their skin clings to their hips in super creepy fashion. Maybe that's what people look like nowadays in Shibuya as I haven't been there in a few years.

Gameplay: 7
There's a heckuva lot of clicking in this game. Tap the stylus to advance text seems like all I was doing in the first hour, though it was much faster and efficient than a game like Hotel Dusk. The battle system seems like it has incredible potential. The game uses pins like Final Fantasy VII used materia, and using both hands to fight on two different screens is a great challenge that will take a lot of practice. One problem with the gameplay is that sometimes the game doesn't know if you want to make Neku run around or attack. I think it just takes some time to get things down correctly though. I did like how The World didn't hold much back right away, it thrust me into battle and expected me to fight. It's nice to see a game not baby me so much. Though the excessive tutorials on using the menus is suspicious.

Fun Factor: 6
The World loses most of its points because of the sheer amount of talking it features in its first hour. The characters bicker, argue, banter, and sulk like there's no tomorrow, and all during this you're listening to the worst soundtrack imaginable. Battling was the most fun and delivered a nice balance between games like Final Fantasy and Zelda. I believe that if the game dropped the pointless conversations (yes, most of it was pointless and just went to solidy even more how much of a jerk the main character is) and just let me fight more, this would be an awesome game.

Minutes to Action: 6

Overall: 6
The World Ends with You features a slightly above average first hour but honestly has a lot of potential. I'll compare this to another DS role-playing game that I recently gave a 6, Shiren the Wanderer. After playing an hour of that game I really feel like I've played 75% of what it's going to throw at me, The World on the other hand feels like I've only seen about 10%. And that's a good feeling for a game and the right kind of attitude I like to have when coming out of its first hour.

Game 45: Pilotwings 64

2008-05-26T16:30:00.020-05:00

Pilotwings 64 is a flight simulator and one of the original launch games for the Nintendo 64. The game doesn't feature any standard flight simulator vehicles such as fighter planes or a Cessna single-engine, but more unique craft like the gyrocopter and hang glider. There is a lot of interaction with the environments such as photographing landmarks and even some battle-themed stages pitting you against giant robots. The game was really overlooked when it was released even though there was only one other Nintendo 64 game available at the time, but of course, that game was none other than Super Mario 64. Let's take a look at the first hour of the other launch title, Pilotwings 64.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I choose Start Game and the first hour of Pilotwings 64 begins. I select a new file and start with the Beginner Class Hang Glider level. Couple of different characters to choose from, I select Ibis as she has a green glider.
01 - My mission is to fly through three rings and then land on the landing point. I can take a 3D look at the map, doesn't look too bad.

02 - Haha, I cleared the three rings easy enough but I dropped my legs too early and fell slowly to the ground in front of the target. Ibis screamed like a little girl.

04 - Bullseye! I land on the target square on and end up with 94/100 points. Not bad. Not bad at all. A cool thing you can do during the level is take pictures, the game isn't beautiful by today's standards but it is definitely colorful.
05 - Sweet, I've already earned my Gold Badge! Time for the beginner Rocket Belt level! I'm selecting the Goose character this time, he looks like Evel Knievel.

07 - Well that was really easy. Just had to rocket into a balloon and then land. 88/100 points, once again docked for landing impact. Lame. The rockets were really easy to control. Dang, missed out on Gold by 2 points.

08 - Cool, it's the Gyrocopter level. I pick Robin as my gyro-pilot. She gives me a sexy "oh yeah!"
10 - The gyrocopter is a cool plane-helicopter hybrid. Not as maneuverable as the rocket belt but super fast. I was going nearly 200 km/h at one point. 87/100 points for this round. And another silver.

11 - I have conquered the Beginner levels so it's on to Class A. Let's start again with the hang glider. I choose Lark, who looks suspiciously like the Nintendo mascot Nester. This level is called Ever-Frost Island. Oh cool, I have to take a picture of the flame coming from the oil plant's smoke stack. I check out the sample photo, seems easy enough.

14 - Oh crap! I took a great picture of the smoke stack but I botched my landing by not holding down the button.
15 - This time I pulled my landing off but I only received 50/100 points! They really didn't like my photo and my landing sucked. Screw them. Next level!

17 - Oh man, this level is going to be tough. You have to dive bomb off a cliff and try to go through as many rings as you can and then pull up before running into a rock wall. Ouch, I smash into it.

18 - Nice, only missed a couple of rings and then had a pretty sweet landing! Oh man, those two levels' scores only add up to 138, I need 140 for the medal! I think I'll retry the photo one to pick up some easy points.
20 - Woah! I got set on fire as I flew too close to the smoke! Awesome! They loved my photo though, 56/60 just on that, and 69/100 total (my landing blew). That's good enough for a bronze, which is good enough for me.

21 - Rocket belt time, this should be fun. I choose Kiwi, a pink clad little lady. Oh sweet, the level is called the Little States and it's a small representation of the contiguous 48 states!

24 - That was a neat level, just had to rocket through some rings and land but they were strategically placed around skyscrapers and under bridges. I pick up 75/100 points. 65 to go for a bronze.
26 - This is a tougher level, instead of flying through rings I have to momentarily land on platforms. I got near the end and then I'm pretty sure the game glitched up on me and forced me to crash. Oh, maybe I ran out of fuel...

29 - I aced that level this time, well, not perfect, but I did get 88 points! That's enough for a silver badge in Class A Rocket Belt!

30 - Class A Gyrocopter now, I select Hawk, a large black man.
33 - Now that was an awesome ride. I had to fly through about 20 rings and I never missed one! I got a complete tour of Crescent Island in the gyrocopter and then made an okay landing. 81 points! Most lost on the landing. I need to practice that I think.

34 - Oh snaps, next level I get to destroy targets!

36 - Another cool level, just had to take out three targets but the rockets are so much fun! Just hold the Z button to aim and fire. I took out one target from like half a mile away! And 97/100 points! Yes! Just two points from gold, oh well.
37 - I'm going to try an extra level called Birdman, I select Lark as my bird. Oh, interesting, this is just free flight. No challenges, just enjoy yourself!

38 - I take a few pictures and then whallop into a tree. That was relaxing, but not what I'm looking for right now! On to Class B levels!

39 - Three tests at this level, sounds like the game is getting tougher. Bring it on.
40 - Woah, first level challenges me to use the thermal currents to bring my hang glider to an altitude of 400m and then land on top of a mountain.

43 - Ugh, you have got to be kidding me, I easily reached 415 meters and then just fell short of the landing area and crashed. Lame.

45 - Oh, suck that! Perfect landing! Okay, I got no points from landing impact but who needs that. 79/100.
46 - Next level is more photographing, take pictures of a fountain and a whale.

48 - Well, I thought I did a lot better than the points I was rewarded, only 38/60 for my pictures? 58 points total?? Ugh.

49 - The next level is asking me to land on the landing point at exactly three minutes... boring. Haha!
52 - Booya, 2:55! Another crappy landing of course, but I score 88 points which should give me the bronze! Yep! I think I'm going to do Gyrocopter Class C. Basically because I want to shoot something. Ibis has been good luck for me, I'll stick with her.

53 - Oh yeah, this was the stage I was looking for! Red Alert! I need to take out the Meca Hawk, a giant robot that is attacking the city! Five missiles will bring him down.

56 - This little bastard really likes to run around. He's basically a human robot that dashes around but it's pretty easy to hit him once you get close. That was pretty cool though, too bad he didn't shoot back. Or actually destroy the city. 85/100 points for me.
57 - Next level is called River Run and has me flying through more rings.

59 - Wow, this is a sweet level, super scenic! The game has me flying underneath bridges and through canals through the rings. I tried to be a little too risky on one ring though and ended up crashing. Whoops! One more try.

60 - Wow, that was fun! I even had a perfect landing at the end and received 97/100 points! Right near the runway at the end they actually launched a space shuttle! Perfect timing to the end of the first hour of Pilotwings 64.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 0
Like many flight simulators, Pilotwings 64 doesn't offer any kind of story, but instead delivers the game in objective based missions. This works perfectly fine with me as I think any kind of story in this game would be simply obnoxious.

Graphics and Sound: 8
Pilotwings 64 is a really early Nintendo 64 game, and so it was one of Nintendo's first foray's into the world of 3D. And much like Super Mario 64, I think they really succeeded. The world is pretty polygonal but the draw distance is really deep and I would never call the game ugly. Pilotwings 64 features an extremely useful heads-up display that doesn't waste any space. Sometimes games just throw a bunch of crap up on the screen that doesn't provide anything helpful. There's a little voice acting in the game that doesn't detract but other than that it's the sound of the engines and the nice ambient music.

Gameplay: 9
This is a super solid atypical flight simulator. In my opinion, real planes and jets have their place on the PC where you can grab a joystick and have precise control, but the eclectic ensemble in Pilotwings 64 works perfectly on the console. In its first hour I used the Gyrocopter, hang glider, jet pack, and even strapped on some bird man wings. They were all distinct in their own way and very fun. Each one handled differently and presented its own form of challenge, it's great to see gameplay like this. The variety of missions was also cool: from a simple ring fly-through to taking photographs of whales to taking down a giant robot, this game has it all.

Fun Factor: 10
Great gameplay with a variety of missions and aircraft makes for an awesome first hour. I honestly had a ton of fun no matter what I was doing and the game was challenging enough to keep things exciting. I think if I was going for perfect scores I would find myself getting pretty pissed off as I'm not a very good lander, but since this is just about the first hour the fun factor gets a perfect ten.

Minutes to Action: 1

Overall: 9
Pilotwings 64 is the first flight simulator I've reviewed and its first hour sets the bar very high for the genre. The game is light-hearted, very fun, and offers a good variety of vehicles and levels. If you can get a hold of this game, give it a try. It is one of the original Nintendo 64 games so for fans of Nintendo console history, you really need to do yourself a favor and play it. Pilotwings 64's first hour is very fun.

Mario can't help stealing the show even when it's not his freaking game.

Game 44: Grand Theft Auto 2

2008-05-19T16:30:00.026-05:00

Grand Theft Auto 2 is of course the game that came before Grand Theft Auto III, one of the most important games of the last decade. I always wondered what kind of games GTA1 and 2 were, and after playing them, it's obvious the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. GTA2 is essentially a top-down look at the Grand Theft Auto universe. Much of the core gameplay we know and love today is in GTA2, just from a totally different perspective. It's a great representative of the change from 2D to 3D as somehow it feels I could be playing the exact same game if it weren't for the view.

GTA2 was released in 1999 on a peculiar variety of systems: the Playstation, PC, the Dreamcast, and Game Boy Color. Every major gaming company got a version of this game, but I will personally be playing the PC version. Mostly because this game is absolutely free from Rockstar Games themselves. Yep, you can go to their site and download both GTA1 and 2 for free, not bad if you ask me. If you're one of those poor souls (like me) who doesn't own Grand Theft Auto IV, well, this may serve as a temporary replacement in your heart. Let's get to the first hour review of Grand Theft Auto 2.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select Play and the first hour of GTA2 begins. Some voice announces, "Remember, respect is everything!" some announcer yells. A nearby pay phone is ringing. I attempt to run up to it. I'm in the downtown district.
01 - There are three fueding gangs here, the Zaibatsu, Loonies, and Yakuza, and I can help them out if I have enough respect from them. The cops will bust my balls for killing innocents though. I can save at a Church, but only if I have $50,000! Now that's a tithe!

02 - I'm told that in a nearby car is a pistol, a pink arrow points me to it. My character is the center of the screen and I'm looking at him from almost directly above.

03 - The controls are Resident Evil style controls, so you press forward to move forward and have to rotate yourself with the left and right buttons. Pretty awkward from this above ground point of view if you ask me. There's a few arrows around my car pointing me where to go, think I'll head to the gray one.
04 - Geez, when you run over people you get points? Is that right...?

05 - Oh oh, I got the cops on my trail from running over too many peds!

07 - I have entered the Zaibatsu warehouse, and I have to climb some catwalks to reach the ringing pay phone. This is really weird. Running up ramps from this perspective just feels out of place.

08 - I have received my first mission, have to intercept some cheap Yakuza crap. The purple arrow shows me the way.
09 - I jack a Truck Cab and I'm on my way. This vehicle is a beast! The purple arrow is telling me to go inside a building... have to find the entrance.

12 - Well, this is a basic delivery mission. Take the junk across town to three or more drop-off gang members. I say three or more because I accidentally ran over the third one. Whoops. Bloody mistake.

14 - I'm going towards the blue arrow this time. Oh man, this mission is a bank robbery! I pick up a screaming green Yakuza car.

17 - That did not go smooth. I accidentally side-swiped a police car so I spent the next few minutes running and driving from them. Eventually, my car started on fire, and well, you know what happens then (explodes). But I was busted before I blew up and the cops drop me off in front of the station.
19 - I'm going to try the other Yakuza mission, I just have to pick someone up.

21 - This time I hop in the Yakuza's own purple Yen car. Cool.

22 - Oh, I beat it. Just had to drive two guys to the J-Lab. Haha, some guy tried to rob me but then a policeman started shooting at him. Thanks! I got $20,000 for that mission. Not bad. Maybe I'll try the bank heist again.
24 - I end up at a different pay phone but still owned by the Yakuza. Someone tells me that I have to kill Zaibatsu to earn Yakuza respect. Makes sense, now I just have to find those guys.

25 - Not really sure where to consistently find Zaibatsu, so I head back to the gray arrow.

27 - It's hard to tell from this perspective who is who, but some guy started shooting at me so I shot back at him. Bullets appear as red balls, pretty hilarious.
28 - Just mowed down three Zaibatsu in a row. But the paramedics came and revived them!

29 - I wasn't really watching my health and was Wasted. I lost my guns but kept my Yakuza respect, which is going up, and my Zaibatsu respect is still way down!

30 - Oh sweet, picked up a Kill Frenzy token which gave me a flamethrower and the challenge to kill 60 people in two minutes! That was really hard though as the cops decided that wasn't a very nice thing to do and captured me.
32 - Haha, I just punched as guy into the street and he got ran over by a speeding car.

33 - I think I might have enough respect with the Yakuza now, so I head back to their headquarters. Along the way I jack a car that has a Christian radio station playing, don't hear that in many games.

34 - Ah, the bank robbery mission again. Here we go.

37 - Someone tipped off the cops! I'm on the run to the car paint place to sneakily change the color of my car. The coppers will never know.
38 - I drop off the car, robber, and cash, and finish the job. Another $20,000 for me. I actually have over $50,000 now. I am now allowed to save my game, haha. Time to head to another blue arrow.

40 - Another pickup job, this time from someone who was in plastic surgery. Hey... where's my arrow?

41 - Just saw it for a split second, but it's gone again. I can not play without arrows pointing me exactly where to go!

44 - Awesome! Some fellow Loonies and I just blew up a ton of Zaibatsu cars! They explode with like a sonic boom.
45 - Okay, for some reason the arrow only appears when I'm under structures. That's odd.

46 - Picked up a GTA2 symbol, no idea what it did though. I'm glad these Loonies are my friends because there are a ton of them around!

47 - Umm... the arrow that appears when I'm underneath is just pointing me in the direction I am facing in. I am thoroughly confused.

49 - I find a Loony phone, not enough respect though yet. They respect those who like killing Yakuzas!
50 - Maybe I'll go on a rampage.

52 - Ugh, killing cops gets you busted quick. And the Yakuza do not like to see me get busted. But hey, at least the arrows are back!

53 - Cool, I'm in a TV van. The satellite dish is rotating above me.

54 - I'm back in the Yakuza headquarters but there are no phones ringing. Man, I haven't had anything to do in like forever!
56 - Ugh, it's the same mission again. I need a Medicar it says... maybe that's why there were no arrows before. Is a Medicar an ambulance? I kill a guy in the middle of the road and wait.

59 - Wow, I wish the game had just told me I needed an ambulance. Well, I picked up the guy from the hospital with the Medicar, and then immediately ran into a cop. Having the police and the Loonies on your trail is never an easy thing, especially when driving a boat like the Medicar. But I made it to the safehouse with my vehicle on fire. Phew.

60 - Our little character smokes when he's not moving. Man, he's just a bad role model all around. I decide to end my first hour of GTA2 in a massive car exploding spree. Uzis work really well for that and I was blowing up cars left and right for the next minute. Awesome.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 2
In Grand Theft Auto 2, you play a nameless hero who finds himself in the middle of a nameless city. A nearby pay phone rings and you're informed about the gangs of the area and how you can gang their respect and perform missions for them. That's pretty much the game's backstory in the first hour. Missions are the only other time for moving the plot forward, and unlike Grand Theft Auto III, you just get a mission over the phone, no cutscenes or random banter here. You may like this straight forwardness, but it doesn't do much for a game's plot.

Graphics and Sound: 8
The top-down view of Grand Theft Auto 2 allows for a surprisingly detailed game in terms of graphics. The vehicles and roads are easy on the eyes but the biggest graphical problem are the people. Because of the view, you can really only see the top of their head and the color of their shirt. Where cars are easily recognizable for their large top, pedestrians are much harder to pick out. Is that a cop? Is that a pedestrian? Is that a member of the Zaibatsu gang? I often had no idea.

There's no traditional voice acting in GTA2, but the awesome radio stations are present and as funny as ever. They don't seem as useful in this game as compared to San Andreas where you had to drive very long distances at points, but I'm sure there are some moments where there's enough downtime to enjoy the embedded humor. Besides the radio, the sound effects are excellent, as they typically are in GTA games. No complaints from me here.

Gameplay: 6
Let me get this out there, the controls in Grand Theft Auto 2 are definitely awkward. Even though I played the PC version, I still used a PlayStation controller and I was simply never comfortable with driving or running around on foot. I'm sure the developers spent a lot of time comparing a traditional control scheme and the controls they implemented, and I'm sure they made the right decision, but maybe this is just one of those games where nothing would feel right to someone like me. I always found myself running into traffic or straight into buildings, I was playing against the controls as much as I was dealing with actual gameplay elements. This is not to say everything is bad, because beyond the controls everything is really good. This is a complex game that has a ton of things going on, I was constantly impressed with the number of vehicles and pedestrians running around at a given moment, and especially how they reacted to my insanity.

Fun Factor: 5
The controls really held me back from enjoying Grand Theft Auto 2 as much as I enjoyed its 3D descendants. I really hate to admit this but it's the honest truth. Maybe after a couple hours of playing I would be a seasoned pro, but since this is just the first hour, I can't cut it any slack. However, the game is still fun, there are plenty of explosions and of course, much death and destruction. The most enjoyable parts of the later games are still around though, just from a different point of view.

Minutes to Action: 2

Overall: 6
Grand Theft Auto 2 is an above average game that gives an early peek at what the blockbuster series has since become. There are not a lot of games that I can think of that offer this top-down perspective from such a height but it allows for a lot of stylized action on screen at once. Since the game is free, there's really no reason for fans of the series to check out where its roots lie, so give Grand Theft Auto 2 a look if you're interested, otherwise go back to the undoubtedly glorious Grand Theft Auto IV.

Game 43: Night Trap

2008-05-12T16:30:00.003-05:00

Night Trap was a controversial full-motion video game released on a variety of CD-based systems in the early 90's. It serves as a great reminder to people who wish to defend against video game censorship in the United States as the game's leading opponents: Joe Lieberman and Herb Kohl, are still serving in the Senate 15 years later. Night Trap is pretty timid compared to some games nowadays and mostly attracted attention because it used real actors (if you could call them that) in pajamas and had a vampire blood sucking scene. There have undoubtedly been hundreds of scenes of vampires sucking the blood of a young woman out in film and even on TV over the years, but Night Trap gets targeted because why?

Anyways, a little about my experience with the game. I actually beat Night Trap a few years ago, it was an epic moment in my video game career and a story I'll be able to retell for ages. I first played it when it was initially released on the Sega CD back in 1992. Even then I realized how bad this game was, the control is simply horrid and the full motion video is anything but that. My friend and I played it because we were young and intrigued about the notion of the possibility of breasts in a video game. Of course, there isn't any nudity but we liked to think that if we beat the game, we would be duly rewarded. If you consider the opportunity to kill Dana Plato a great reward though, well, you will love this game. Now on to the first hour review of Night Trap for the PC!

(minutes are in bold)
00 - Well, the game starts off right away, I don't even have to press Start! The developer and publisher's logo flash by, and then we get to see the Night Trap logo, with a bloody letter A! An RV pulls up and I get a binoculars' eye view of a house. We cut to what I presume is inside the RV, a SWAT-like team of people are moving around inside, preparing for a mission of sorts.
01 - But they're not SWAT, they're SCAT. I don't think I could have possibly thought of a worse squad acronym. A man named Simms starts talking to me about this slumber party that's about to go down. Five teenage girls are going to a mall friend's house for some fun, but this isn't any normal random set of people, pretty girls have disappeared from here before! My job is to protect the five girls. Somehow SCAT already snuck someone into the house and discovered a robust security system with cameras and traps in every room (including the bathroom) and they spliced the cable so we could also control their security. Right now the trap's access code is simply set to Blue, but anyone could change it at anytime, so I have to pay attention. They could also cut the spliced cable.

02 - Man, this is a lot to worry about. Luckily I'll have a woman on the inside, Kelly, code named in the real world as Dana Plato, the star of Diff'rent Strokes! Simms yells at me for another moment, then I say I'm ready to go and the game really begins.

03 - So I'm looking at a view of the girls climbing out of their station wagon and they begin to unpack. They joke around in hilarious fashion and then Dana Plato, I mean Kelly, approaches the camera and asks if we're ready to go. The family's daughter, Sarah, comes walking down the stairs and says she's surprised they came.
04 - The parents also come out of the house and Sarah introduces everyone, the dad is all creepy like and even kissed Kelly's hand. One of the girl's brought her little brother, Danny. That just seems odd. Through all of this the game is beeping.

05 - I should explain the UI, on the top half of the screen we have the full motion video area, where we get to see the grainy, low-res hotties in action. On the bottom half we have what looks like a view of the house and buttons for the various cameras around the building. It also shows my current access code, and some numbers that say Possible (15) and Captured (0). Every time the game beeps the Possible goes up by one.

07 - Umm... "Weird Eddie" just approached the girls, "he's really cute" one of them exclaims. Danny waves like a dork. They enter the house, but I can see some black-clad dudes on the roof! I click the Trap button but it does nothing. The front lawn is just empty. Guess I'll head inside.
09 - Kelly breaks the fourth wall again and tells me to check out the house. I have to either follow these guys around or look for the baddies. They're hanging out in the kitchen now, unloading their goods.

10 - Woah, I just entered the bedroom and some guy was creeping around. It was playing some "rock" music and I tried to trap him but nothing happened.

11 - Oh man, I just missed out on a trap! A ninja vampire was in the bedroom again and the little bar starting flashing red, but I had already clicked Trap and missed my chance. Darn. 24 Possible, 0 Captured.
13 - Two guys just went into a secret doorway, I don't know how to follow them! The parents are outside talking about leaving, "what could possibly go wrong?" the father asks. Oh, just wait.

14 - I keep entering rooms right when a vampire is leaving. Lame. Oh, the girls are having a dance party in the living room now! Think I'll watch that for a bit.

16 - Holy crap. I just witnessed quite possibly the greatest scene in a video game ever. Someone puts on a song, and it turns out to be the Night Trap song! Seriously. "blah blah blah blah NIGHT TRAP!" That's basically how it went. One of the girls had a tennis racket and was strumming it like a guitar and then using it as a microphone. All of a sudden all the girls stand up and start rocking out. Amazing!
17 - But of course the whole time I was missing out on captures, whoops.

18 - NOOOO! I just had my first capture in the bag but someone changed the code! I don't know what it is now!

19 - Oh snaps, I lost. Simms comes up and tells me the house is being overrun, he's probably right! Time to start again.
20 - All right! This time I don't waste any time watching Simms talk to me and just get right to the house by pressing Enter. That seems to have worked because right away in Hall 1 two ninjas appear and since I know the code is blue, I take them out right away. A door opens up and then a wall shoves them outside. Rocking!

21 - Wow, I'm on a roll! I've now captured 5 out of a possible 7. The daughter, Sarah, was in the bathroom freshening up and some nasties followed her in there (unknown to her). I took them out with a rotating wall and some cleverly placed holes in the floor. Awesome Blossom!

23 - There are trapdoors all over this house, took out another two vampires. And another.
24 - The mom just came out from behind a bookcase, something fishy is going on here.

25 - The game has finally reached the point where the girls are unloading the station wagon. Geez, that seems a little lame that the opening video literally cuts into the game like that.

27 - Owned, the sliding staircase just dumped two enemies to the underworld. LOL, the bed just flipped up to toss one outside. This game is crazy.
28 - The game just pulled the same wall pushing two outside again. And since it was all full motion video, it was the exact same scene. I've captured 13 of 17. Not bad if I do say so myself.

30 - Took out some more in the bathroom. Some of these guys have giant weapon like things that look like they're for grabbing on to people's necks with (and then sucking their blood!).

31 - I come across the mom and dad in the kitchen, sounds like the mom is suspicious of Kelly. Not good for SCAT!
33 - Oh no, someone changed the code! When did they do it? I try changing it to Green and I immediately get an opportunity to try that out, doesn't work. Crap.

34 - Haha, the girls are about the sing the Night Trap song. I'd better not watch this time. Well, the code isn't Orange either. This sucks.

35 - What the frak? One of my SCAT buddies just burst into the house. Odd. I'm doing a lot worse now, 18 out of 34. And I still haven't confirmed the new access code.
37 - Ugh, not Purple either. Little Danny just found one of the secret doors and he went in, and two vampires followed! But I couldn't take them out! Finally, it's Red! Just don't change again anytime soon, please.

39 - Oh sucka! I just overheard the cousins talking about changing the code to Yellow. I rule.

40 - And yellow works immediately, whoopee! The girls have gone upstairs after their little dance-off. Sarah is showing them their rooms.
41 - Someone just pulled up in another station wagon, it's some black guy wearing a crazy Hawaiian outfit, but he's with SCAT! I think he's going to try something... "Give them the old Jamaican number." I am frightened for my life.

42 - Holy crap, Dana Plato in a sports bra! My dream has come true. One of the girls finds some crazy sex-toy thing in the closet, Sarah says her dad collects weird things. Uh huh.

44 - Well, the SCAT guy was inside talking to the cousins, but I didn't pay attention to what they were doing. Instead I found the craziest thing yet (besides the song). Some guy was hoisted up by his ankles in a closet and the vampires hooked some oxygen tank up to his neck and started sucking the blood out! Crazy!
45 - Oh no, Danny saw them do it! And now little Danny is getting chased! I do manage to take out one though.

47 - Woah, I just saw the famous bathroom scene that all the donkeys in Washington got upset about. One of the girls was fixing her hair in the bathroom while one of the vampires was hiding in the shower. She saw him and opened it up, thinking it was one of the other girls playing a trick on her, but then another came out, and another wielding their giant neck weapon! She starts fighting them off and I kill one, then she runs to the bedroom and out the window. Crazy!

49 - Heh, one of the cousins was just hitting on Kelly, but then Danny runs into the living room saying "they're after me!" Maybe they'll believe him and they can get the heck out! Please insert disc 2... fine, give me a minute.
50 - Oh no, my game froze! Crap... guess I'll replay the beginning for another 10 minutes. That blows.

51 - Okay, now the game is on a fritz, it froze again basically. LAME. Well, just the mouse actually, I can still use the number keys to switch cameras and the Enter button to trap. Might as well give it a try. (turns out later on it was actually my mouse that ran out of batteries, sorry to blame it on you Night Trap!)

55 - Using the keyboard's number pad is actually really easy to use. Quite a good alternative to the mouse.
58 - Just playing the game... 16 of 25 captured. Just flung a guy off the roof, only one I haven't seen yet.

60 - I'm proud of myself, I correctly figured out when the guys turned the access code to Red. But that's all there is to the first hour of Night Trap! Wow! Not as bad as I remembered.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 3
Well, if you've read the minute by minute of this game, you'll know that Night Trap's story is pretty much crap. Okay, it's total crap. But it is redeemed by that amazing song that had me entranced for a few minutes. I'm pretty sure this game was intentionally written as a vampire B-movie, but that doesn't mean it gets a break from me. The acting is atrocious but the biggest problem with the story is the gameplay. There might actually be some gems of writing hidden within this game but you'd never know because you have to constantly jump from room to room, causing you to miss 90% of the dialogue. But maybe that's a good thing.

Graphics and Sound: 6
I played the PC version of Night Trap which benefits from higher resolution video, which is a definite plus. The security camera picture actually looks pretty good and it is always clear when the black clad bad guys are creeping around. What also helps is the soundtrack, the only noticeable piece was the vampire sneaking music but it helped so much when zipping from screen to screen. That Night Trap song was also pretty awesome. Finally, the user interface was also completely revamped from the Sega CD version but I'm not sure if it's actually any better.

Gameplay: 6
The core gameplay of Night Trap is really just you switching from camera to camera as fast as possible to find bad guys running around the house and then trap them. Trapping them doesn't take much skill, just press the button at the right time, but it's more about looking at the right camera at the right time. It's a little frustrating to suddenly find the security code has been changed, but I suppose this game has quite a bit of trial and error behind it, and I quickly figured out the correct time of the first code change. Night Trap's gameplay works off a simple concept, but it is executed pretty well.

Fun Factor: 8
I've always had fun playing Night Trap, and my latest foray into the game's first hour was no exception. The game is flawed in many ways, but once you get a hang of the gameplay and can get past the cheese factor, it is really fun. Trapping bad guys can actually be laugh out loud funny but most of the enjoyment comes from the bad acting and of course, the epic song and dance sequence. It's great to see a game that doesn't take itself too seriously, the developers weren't trying to make the perfect game, the premise is too flawed to begin with to achieve that. They did, however, make a game that is kind of like a scary movie, the more people you have around to watch it, the better it gets.

Minutes to Action: 3

Overall: 7
Is it wrong for me to say that I actually enjoyed playing the first hour of Night Trap? I think this game has gotten a tremendously bad rap from certain comedy video game reviewers and the pretty crappy gameplay of some console versions. My experience from playing the first hour does not point to this game being one of the worst of all time. It may have been an awful idea with a cast of D-list actors, but it is so campy and insane that I had fun. It's not a great game, it is though decent and such an iconic moment in video game history that if you ever get a chance to play Night Trap, do it.

The Sega CD user interface.
And the end of my innocence.

Game 42: Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen

2008-05-05T16:30:00.015-05:00

Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen is a console strategy game initially released on the Super Nintendo and then re-released on the Sega Saturn and Sony Playstation. I guess the game is rare but I bought the Super Nintendo version at a rental store when they were going out of business for five dollars (also scored that day was Yoshi's Island). I consider myself lucky, too bad the battery has died since then. The game has seen a bunch of sequels including Ogre Battle 64, which I also own.

Decent non turn-based strategy games are tough to come by on consoles, but March of the Black Queen stands out as one of the first and best in the genre. I'm not so sure how the first hour will turn out though, as the game moves pretty slow. Well, let's just get right into it and find out. I'll be playing the Super Nintendo version.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select New Game and the hour begins. A man named Warren begins talking. He is a great Seer, which means he can see destinies. He's going to use Tarot cards to decide if I'm fit to be a leader. But first I enter my name, Greg.
01 - Warren asks me my sex and then reveals the Sun card. He then asks me a question on who do I attribute victory in a battle to. I answer, "those who fought with me."

02 - The World card is revealed next. How full is my glass the night before a battle for a toast? Filled to the brim! Warren draws the Hierophant card.

03 - I answer "a sense of justice" in what I see in a leader. The strength card is brought up, it is a woman standing with a lion. Justice, again, is the most important attribute of a warrior in my opinion.
04 - Wow, more cards still. Now the Magician. I'm asked what kind of potion I'd make: poison, wealth, or immortality. None of them sound that great. I guess wealth.

05 - The Judgement card now. Who would I save in battle if I could only save one: my mother, lover, or child. Child, no idea though, I hate these kind of questions. Warren spreads the remaining cards out and asks me to grab one. It's the Fortune card! No questions that time.

06 - I'm now faced with the world map, The Zeteginea Age. I have a few options, but I'll save my game first. Time to start the first level, the Castle of Warren.
07 - Scene 1 - Beginning. A view of a lush green island appears. I guess I have control over some golden guy and have to beat the boss? There's also a day/night indicator in the corner.

08 - I click my guy a few times and tell him to move on what appears to be a building with a pink roof. He slowly starts crossing the plains. Woah, I'm walking over a mountain.

09 - I have liberated the trade city of Daskania. "Liberation!" the female computer voice calls out! Cool! The people are cheering for me. I have the option to pull a card, woah, it's the Hanged Man. The city calls out "Boo Boo!" Oh no!
10 - Liberating towns rewards me with tribute which I need to run my army. Next up I move Greg west to another building. The screen scrolls smoothly with my sword cursor.

11 - I have liberated a Roshian Temple! I pull the Strength card and get a "Thank you" instead of boos. A monk tells me that everything is moving in real time, and that I should pause if I get overwhelmed. Well, with only one character on the screen that won't be a problem. I head further west to the boss!

13 - Sweet, the sky is turning purple, it's twilight! Warren welcomes me to his castle and tells me I must do battle with the Zenobian Empire. He's going to put me to the test.

14 - Warren won't fight me, just keeps telling me to liberate more towns and return to them. Lame.
16 - I've returned to both towns so it's time to kick some ogre butt! Ugh, Warren tells me about a hidden city to the northeast. Can my character cross water? I guess so. Slowly though.

17 - I have liberated the Walled City of Zeltenia! I pull another Hanged Man card! Nooo!

18 - I talk with Lans, a knight of the Royal Zenobian Army. He likes the look in my eyes so he'll join my cause. Wow, what is my cause anyway? And only if it was that easy in real life. I head back to Warren again.

20 - It has become day again. Finally, it's time to fight! Wow, this looks totally different than the overhead map! It's five against one, seems unfair!
21 - I don't even have to do anything, my guys just fight it out. Greg casts Icecloud on Warren and then gets healed by the mage. Sweet, I won!

22 - I have liberated Volzak! Haha, fireworks are set off from the city. I have completed the map and receive 6748 bonus Goth. Goth is what their money is called. Umm... odd.

23 - Next level is called Sharom and is south of Warren on the world map. Scene 2 - Rally.
24 - Wow, this is a big map, and I also have a ton of units available to me now. Time to start deploying I guess and sending them to towns. Interesting, it costs Goth to deploy units. Cost of an army I suppose.

26 - I send out Lans and Geena along with Greg. Lans liberates Valna. I pull the Moon card. It immediately switches the time to night! Oh, I can buy items here at Valna.

27 - Greg liberates a town and pulls the Emperor card. The enemy hasn't deployed any enemies yet.

29 - Oh, the enemy has finally arrived! Greg liberates a temple, I think I'll stay here and wait for the enemy. Another Hanged Man. I am one unlucky fellow. Temples can revive buddies, that should be helpful.
30 - Greg has met the enemy! My tactics are set to Best, which means I always attack their best character. I think I'll set it to weak and take out the little ones first.

31 - Woah, the battle has ended but they still have two guys remaining! That's weird... Interesting, their character hasn't disappeared from the map, they just got pushed back a few inches on the map.

32 - Greg starts battle with another enemy. These guys have a giant wolf. This doesn't seem to hard when Greg's group has a healer.
33 - This last battle was closer, no one got killed but I still won. Must be based off of damage or something. The enemies just keep coming so I deploy a group that looks like it has ninjas in it. Another battle with Greg.

35 - This team is another set of two, just a mage and a giant guy with a club.

36 - Oh no! I lose! None of my guy's die but that giant brute was doing massive damage and getting to attack multiple times in a row. Geena will have to hold the temple.

37 - Geena's team has two amazons, two soldiers, and a healer. We don't do a lot of damage but are rewarded the win. Geena gets into another battle right away though. Oh snaps, it's the mage and the brute with the club!
38 - We have killed the giant! Just the mage left.

39 - Oh yeah, Geena to the rescue! She has killed the mage too, even though he threw two fireballs at one of my amazons.

40 - Man, just battle after battle. It's the two-headed wolf/mage team. They're weak so hopefully I can finish them off. Well, that was easy, they're gone already.

41 - Another battle against a weakened enemy. Good thing they're not running off to heal.
42 - Well, I don't finish off their leader but their team does level up! Now if only I could get Greg back to the temple to help defend it. I'm fighting another battle against a group with a healer. Could be a long battle. We win but they have plenty of health left.

44 - Back at the map, that loser who only has a few hit points left is running back to the boss. Fighting a beastmaster now and his two-headed wolf.

45 - The wolf is dead leaving the beastmaster, but we're declared the winners.

46 - Ugh, these amazons keep getting left with one hit point and then their cleric heals them.
47 - Wow, I forgot about Lans but he found a secret temple on an island! Liberation! I pull the Strength card. The monks give me the Star of Heroes. I get a "HEROSTAR!" Haha.

49 - Greg has healed a bit so I put him in front of Geena. Greg will meet the beastmaster! Greg only attacks once per battle, and its the Icecloud attack that always seems to miss the leader. I defeat the beastmaster though with my little soldiers. That takes care of him.

51 - Greg levels up as we almost defeat the cleric. It has 8 hit points left. It's probably going to run away.

53 - Woah woah woah! Some enemy is flying across the water and might take the city near my capital! I have to deploy Warren and we race there. Geez, the enemy turns and heads right for my capital city. Crap. They have a gryphon. No wonder they moved so fast, they were literally flying.
55 - Warren just whooped down on their leader but I can't manage to kill the gryphon. It'll probably fly away. I have things under control for the moment so I start moving around my characters. I send Geena to the end of a road where a city undoubtedly is. Lans doesn't find anything in his latest search so I send him back near the capital.

57 - Sweet, I do have a ninja on my team. His name is Morgan though. What kind of ninja is named Morgan?

58 - I have re-encountered the weakened cleric, but she's picked up two more clerics. Lame.

60 - Greg's Icecloud finally hits everyone and does some pretty decent damage. Well, it doesn't look like I'm going to get across this bridge anytime soon. It's going to take a while to defend and slowly push forward. I guess that's the end of Ogre Battle's first hour.
Time for some scores out of 10.

Story: 6
About the only unique thing Ogre Battle has going for it in the first hour in terms of story is the tarot card introduction. It was pretty fun answering Warren's questions about how I would manage an army and how much wine I would want to drink the night before a battle. Maybe not fun... but definitely weird and quirky. Being given tarot cards which I can use in battle is also cool and gives the game an extra layer in what seems like a pretty straight-forward system so far. The rest of the story isn't as interesting, and seems pretty derivative of basically anything else, but the tarot card approach is unique. Destinies and fates are intriguing concepts, whether you believe in them or not.

Graphics and Sound: 7
I read a few reviews that knocked on the game's graphics, but I like them. They're simple when they need to be simple like on the world map, and more detailed when in battle. The battles have a cool background behind them that makes it look like they're just being fought out on my desk. The sprites in battle are also well detailed, but plain on the overworld. This isn't bad though, as they're distinct and are more like pieces out of a board game. The game also features the day/night system which I'm sure will be used uniquely further on, but is more just for show in the first hour.

Not much going on with sound in Ogre Battle. The highlight though is when you liberate a town, you get the sound effect, "Liberation!" I still remember hearing that 12 years ago sitting in my bedroom as a kid and thinking how cool it was.

Gameplay: 5
Two different types of gameplay, and both are relatively hands off most of the time. When managing units on the map, you have to scroll around quite a bit to get a handle on things and you have to understand your unit's strengths and weaknesses. It was kind of a shocker when the enemy sent a flying unit at me from across the sea and almost caught me off guard. But most of the time you're just fortifying a town or temple and trying to hold your ground. A lot of moving characters just a little bit in front or behind of another so they can be the won to battle it out. It's almost requires too much control for a strategy game like this.

Battling in Ogre Battle is mostly automated, which is kind of a relief. Many console RPG's just have you tapping the A button to do the same thing turn after turn, but Ogre Battle makes it easy on the player and takes over for them. You can still press the A button and mess with tactics, but other than that, not much to it. Just hope you hit them and they miss you.

Fun Factor: 5
Ogre Battle's super slow moving pieces on map may be great for planning out strategies and preparing for attacks, but it'd be nice if there was a speed up key or something for the times when you just want to get where you want to be. On the other hand, fighting in the battles can be pretty fun but since it is automated, there's nothing to get too pumped about. The battle is essentially decided before you even start, you're just there to watch it unfold. The game doesn't seem to be too heavy on micromanagement within its first hour though, and that's a plus. Ogre Battle is simply not that fun, it's simply delivers average enjoyment.

Minutes to Action: 20

Overall: 5
Twenty minutes is a long time for any game to get rolling, and Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen suffers from this. I think it would have been more effective if after our Tarot card draw, if we immediately were thrust into battle. The game can still force us to move around Warren's island and liberate towns, but it just takes a long time to get to what the player wants: action. The game's gameplay and fun factor falter due to Ogre's Battle below normal game speed, but the story and choice of graphics save it from falling into the land of crappy first hours. If you're into console strategy games, you probably owe yourself to check out March of the Black Queen for whatever system you can find it on, but don't spend too much money on it; plenty of good strategy games are still being released. The bad part is they probably all still take a quarter of an hour to actually start.

Game 41: Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden

2008-04-28T16:30:00.003-05:00

Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden are NES and Xbox games with the exact same name. Ninja Gaiden for the NES came out in 1989 and Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox came out in 2004. I'm not sure why Tecmo and lead designer Itagaki didn't give the Xbox Ninja Gaiden game a subtitle, but it's too late to wonder, because there are officially two games under the name of Ninja Gaiden, just released 15 years apart. In first hour tradition, I will be only playing Ninja Gaiden for one hour, but because they are named exactly the same, I will first play half an hour of Ninja Gaiden for the NES, and then half an hour on the Xbox. This will complicate the review a bit, but I'll try to always make is clear what game I'm talking about.

This is an exciting time for the Ninja Gaiden series, as Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword was released last month for the DS and Ninja Gaiden II will be out in a few weeks for the Xbox 360. Remember, this is a new Ninja Gaiden II, not Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos which was released on the NES in 1990. Yeah, Tecmo does it again. I plan on playing Dragon Sword (not Dark Sword) someday as it sounds pretty cool, but this review is all about the first hour of the two Ninja Gaidens. So let's get right down to it. To start, the first thirty minutes of Ninja Gaiden for the NES.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - Begin Ninja Gaiden NES. I was about to press Start to begin the game, when a story cutscene began! Two ninjas are facing each other in a green field with a giant moon overhead. They begin running at each other with the game just showing their legs moving at high speed.
01 - They jump and meet in the air in front of the moon! Their swords clash and they both land on their feet. In classic movie fashion though, the ninja wearing pink then stumbles to the ground. Some text appears wondering why he fought and died, must be the main character, Ryu, speaking.

02 - A young man is on screen now, he looks young but he's got huge, muscular arms. He's reading a letter from his father. He tells Ryu to take the family's Dragon sword and go to America to meet an archaeologist named Walter Smith. "Ryu, be always brave..." "I will get my revenge!" Pretty epic!

03 - I press Start and the real gameplay of Ninja Gaiden begins. Act one. The game starts right off with Ryu in the streets. A is jump and B is sword slash.
04 - Enemies explode in one slash of my sword! There's some kind of ninja dog running around being annoying. Lame pup. Ryu can't double jump. Isn't it ninja law that all ninjas must learn how to double jump before anything else?

05 - There's an enemy above me and I have no idea how to get to him. Oh sweet I just jumped and attached myself to a street sign! Wow cool you can jump off of walls, this has to be one of the first games to ever allow that.

06 - I picked up some sort of power-up that when I jump I do a cool ninja swirl with my sword that protects myself.
07 - I have reached the first boss. I was fooling around so much in the first stage that my time almost ran out! It was actually really fun to hop around and jump off of buildings.

08 - Well, that guy really wasn't that hard. He was pretty tall though so I had to jump off the wall Chun-Li style to get over his head. He was really slow though so I just slashed him in the back a lot.

09 - A cutscene, our ninja thinks these thugs are following him. How could street bums be following a ninja?

10 - A "girl" appears behind him. She has a gun! She shot Ryu! And thus Act 2 begins.
11 - More cutscenes, Ryu is in jail now but the woman appears and gives him a statue and lets him escape. Odd. Ryu asks, "didn't you try to kill me?" Good question.

12 - I regain control and I'm now in some underground cave. Probably some evil overlord's lair.

13 - Ugh, the platforming is getting tougher now with small little areas to land on and anti-ninja bats flying all over. I fall in a pit. The level restarts.

14 - Man, there's like unlimited of these annoying ninja dogs. What the heck? I had to wall jump up a ladder to get to the next area above me, but then I wall jumped off and fell to where I should have been before and died. Lame!
15 - OH. You can climb the ladder like a normal video game character. Nice. The game was kind enough to let me off where I died just now.

16 - Sweet, you can throw shurikens by pressing up and B at the same time after you collect some.

17 - Oh no I died again! Game Over! Back to the beginning of Stage 2. Dang, a ninja dog just knocked me into a pit.

18 - Ryu just attached himself to a wall that I had no choice but to jump into the abyss. Game Over again.
19 - You can pick up a flaming shuriken that makes enemies explode. That's pretty cool.

20 - Woah, I finally made it outside the cave lair. Backgrounds look pretty good honestly. What the heck... there's like ghosts and dragonflies out here trying to kill me. Well, the dragonflies are for collecting stuff but there's bad men with machine guns!

21 - I made it to the end of the level and it looked like there was no where to go, so I went the only place I thought I could. Down. Died.
22 - Oh, you're supposed to climb a ladder down, not just jump. I got a sweet power-up though that put a ring of fire around me, so I was jumping from small pillar to small pillar killing guys instantly. But the invincibility ran out the moment I hit a guy with a sword and he knocked me into a pit, killing me.

24 - Game over but the game started me outside again, not bad. I got my vengeance on the sword wielding edge hogger with my awesome ring of fire.

27 - Man, this is such a hardcore platformer. There's this small little pillar I have to jump to and a guy is standing on it! Get off!

28 - Well, I finally got past him and got killed by the next guy. What's the point of 15 life points when you always die from falling off?
29 - This game wouldn't be nearly as hard if you didn't always jump fall back three feet after being hit.

30 - Begin Ninja Gaiden Xbox. Okay, that's enough of the original Ninja Gaiden! I admit, I suck at it! Now onto the new Xbox version! I select New Game and the game starts telling me about the "evil Dark Dragon Blade" and a really ugly full of jaggies sword appears. What the... this is nasty looking. The guy keeps talking to me in Japanese as I try to keep up with the subtitles. Whoever uses the sword will become evil.

31 - Oh, now the Dragon Sword appears, as opposed to the Dragon Blade I guess? This sword too is also made up of graphical jaggies. The Dragon Sword is owned by the Hayabusa family. A ninja appears in the background, it's Ryu!
32 - A wall of text appears, it is the Book of Fiends. This serves as the loading screen but the reading is pretty boring. Ancient tribes have struggled for thousands of generations. You know how long thousands of generations is? That's like a minimum of 20,000 years. That's a really long time. Still loading.

33 - More text appears, wait, it's the same stuff from before. Oh, the loading is finally done. Chapter 1 - The Way of the Ninja. Ryu jumps from the top of a waterfall and slices a brown-clad ninja in half. Sweet.

34 - Some woman is looking down on my from the cliffs, and then I get control. The gameplay is really smooth, feels like Assassin's Creed. Woah, the right thumbstick does not control the camera, just zooms me into Ryu's view. That's going to be annoying.
35 - Something got thrown against the cliff wall... it's a in-game hint! Must be from that girl ninja. The hint is about climbing walls, seems to work just like Assassin's Creed and Prince of Persia.

36 - Ryu doesn't open chests with his hands, he kicks them open with his big, black boot. I receive an Elixir of Spiritual Life. Some vines are blocking my apparent path but Ryu's ultra-sharp katana can't cut them down. Lame.

37 - Not sure where to go...

38 - I find a locked door, no dice though.
39 - Oh, I have to climb a fallen tree that's laying over the vines I mentioned before.

40 - My first kills! I kick one brown ninja off the cliff and impale another with my dragon sword. Game is kind of bloody, but the blood doesn't stick around.

41 - I wall jump into a cave and then more brown ninjas appear. I kill them easily.

42 - I have just wall jumped into a building complex. It is the Ninja Fortress! Oh neat, I can throw shurikens, just like in the original.
43 - I get a map of the fortress and check it out, seems confusing. Don't think I'll bother with this much. Why is it angled? That's just annoying.

45 - I just fought about ten brown ninjas in a small, locked room. Is there a block button in this game?

46 - Apparently block is the L button. I discover a suit of samurai armor in a corner, but it is missing its mask. I probably need to find that.

47 - A ton more browns appear, when a ninja dies, its soul is transformed into a small yellow ball. What a ripoff of Onimusha!
49 - Ooh, white ninjas! These guys jump around like little hamsters. I wall jump myself and finish them off with a well timed slice of my blade. I think my biggest enemy is the camera though, this thing is obnoxious.

50 - Whoops, just fell into a trapdoor. I'm now underground and the anti-ninja bats are back (see minute 13). Some things never change.

51 - I find the Fangs of the Samurai in a chest down there and start to look for a way out, guess I was supposed to fall down here. Just noticed that Ryu does this sweet little flip when he throws shurikens while running.

53 - I'm out of the caves now and back to the Ninja Fortress.
54 - Just racked up a 17 hit combo on some bad ninjas and it restored my health. Nice. You can also jump on the heads of ninjas and it sort of leaves this shadow behind, pretty cool animation. Oh, a save point. Must be a boss up ahead...

56 - I insert the Fangs of the Samurai into the armor and get the Key of Courage. This room I have to keep running through spews new white ninjas every time. Get out of my way, I'm running out of time!

57 - Ryu reaches the Inner Sanctum and I get a hint on how to roll from my purple-clad female friend. I use the Key of Courage on the door.

58 - Oh snaps I just decapitated a white ninja! Awesome! Then another! You can hold Y to charge up a super attack that triggers a hands-off super combo.
59 - A man with long gray hair is sitting on the floor of a large room, he's wielding nunchucks. He stands up and shows off his nunchuck skills by twirling them all over, I'm not impressed. We begin to fight.

60 - Okay, this guy is a bastard. I have to use all of my healing potions to beat him but I eventually do by jumping off the walls onto his head. He was blocking everything else and breaking my block with his nasty combos. After the fight, we bow and then sit down on the floor and chill out! All that work for some tea! A moment later though my ninja friend runs in, it is Ayane from Dead or Alive! Ryu's village is on fire! Too bad the hour is up for Ninja Gaiden.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: NES - 7 and Xbox - 3
Definitely more story than I was expecting from a half hour of an old NES game! Ninja Gaiden (NES) sets up as a revenge story that really reminds me of Shenmue. Except Ryu Hayabusa became a ninja and Ryo Hazuki just asks for sailors. Becoming a ninja is awesome. Let's take a quick look at the opening scene with the ninjas in the grassy field. This was directed incredibly well for what is basically a 20 year old game. Nice backdrop with the moon and impressive close ups of our two opposing ninjas.

And definitely less story than I was expecting from a half hour of a modern Xbox game! The game starts off with a bunch of cryptic descriptions on Dragon Blades and Dragon Swords and then tosses a giant wall of text at me about Ancient Tribes. None of it seems to fit together. After that, there's not a drop of story until the very end of the half hour when Ayane runs in and announces the village I've never seen is on fire (what, is this an RPG?).

Graphics and Sound: NES - 6 and Xbox - 9
After the impressive opening cutscene, Ninja Gaiden on the NES quickly reminded me I was playing an 8-bit game. The graphics were sharp but the colors just seemed washed out. It looked great at the time but I can't hold it up against its peers infinitely. I believe the most impressive thing about the game's graphics were the backgrounds. They were well detailed and propped the game up a bit graphically. Ninja Gaiden's sound was pretty basic and there wasn't much outside the music.

The Xbox Ninja Gaiden looks really awesome, the graphics are gorgeous and the framerate is nice and slick. Definitely no major complaints, but that obviously means I have a minor one. I feel like the game is almost too sharp, I think it could have used some filters to soften some things up. Oh, and the blood and bad guys shouldn't disappear so fast! I want to see the marvels of my awesome swordplay!

Gameplay: NES - 6 and Xbox - 8
Ninja Gaiden (NES) has precise, but difficult gameplay. This is a tough platformer and I was really surprised that after I got Game Overs, I was restarted pretty close to where I had lost my final life. This is a great bonus as it encouraged me to keep trying without getting too frustrated. Many games these days aren't as kind! The controls are obviously simple on the NES, but we get the nice little bonus of throwing shurikens. If only you could throw them at an angle.

Well, you can throw shurikens at an angle in Ninja Gaiden on the Xbox, and it's pretty cool too! Actually, the fighting is pretty great in the 3D action-adventure game, the hardest part is dealing with the camera. It just never did what I wanted it to do and I had a hard time keeping track of more than one or two enemies. Either way, cameras are never an easy thing to develop properly, especially when you have such a fast-paced game. Leaping around is very smooth and decapitating ninjas never grows old.

Fun Factor: NES - 7 and Xbox - 8
Though Ninja Gaiden for the NES is tough, it was actually pretty fun. The story was actually decently interesting even if it was pretty derivative. I really thought I was going to get owned left or right while playing but the first half hour must be tame compared to the rest of the game. The game had a few headache inducing moments but hard games can really be fun if they're still rewarding and not totally unfair.

The Xbox Ninja Gaiden is not as frustrating as the NES game, but it is still really challenging. I suppose in this game you get health potions instead of nicely placed checkpoints, but you get ganged up quite quickly and must fend off multiple enemies. This is totally different than a platformer and you must have your finger ready on the block button if you want to be successful. The boss just seemed unfair though, he was whooping on me and my health bar like there was no tomorrow, and I only beat him because I was being cheap. I feel dirty.

Minutes to Action: NES - 3 and Xbox - 5

Overall: NES - 7 and Xbox - 8
Yes, I am awarding nearly identical scores to the first half hour of both Ninja Gaiden games. Some of you may be thinking, how could you possibly award a 15 year old game only one point less than its modern day counterpart? Well, that's a good question and I will answer it: the games were obviously released in totally different video game eras. And they're each good, above average games when compared against their peers. Remember, this is just the first half hour of each game, which is even less than what I normally play! Both games are fun though, but surprisingly the NES version has a better story! The Xbox Ninja Gaiden just throws a block of text at you that really doesn't seem applicable to what I was then playing. Though it does seem kind of weird that the NES game's story hinges on finding some random American. Graphically, the Xbox version is near the top of its game. Both games get good scores, and I would recommend trying them both out! If only to get owned in both 2D and 3D.

Ninja Gaiden galore! I think that's enough of Ryu Hayabusa for a while. And ninjas, geez, I just realized I did Pocky & Rocky last week which featured a female ninja.

Wow.

Game 40: Pocky & Rocky

2008-04-21T16:30:00.025-05:00

Pocky & Rocky is a multiplayer scrolling shooter for the SNES and developed by Natsume, the creators of Harvest Moon. It's hard to imagine the guys who made a farming simulator once worked on a fast-paced, crazy hard shoot 'em up. But they did, and here it is. The game has a lot of charisma and character, but it's super tough! I recruited my friend Hylas to help me out, much like I did for Zombies Ate My Neighbors. This game once again proves that two heads are better than one, but is the game really any good? With a name like Pocky & Rocky, how can you go wrong?

Pocky & Rocky is actually the second game in the Pocky series (Kiki KaiKai was a Japanese only arcade game featuring just our heroine Pocky), but the first in the Pocky and Rocky series starring the girl and the raccoon. There's also a new PS2/Wii game called Kiki Kai World (or Heavenly Guardian) that is somewhat of a new sequel to the series, just 15 years later. Well, who cares about those other games, this is all about Pocky & Rocky! Now, let's get it on!

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select Start and the first hour begins. The game starts telling the story of the Nopino Goblins and how evil they used to be. But Pocky put an end to that! Pocky is a girl with a giant head and varying hair colors, so far I've seen purple and brown.
01 - Rocky the Raccoon has arrived, something terrible has happened to his fellow goblins! They've all gone crazy and he needs Pocky's help.

02 - Suddenly, a big ugly, round goblin has appeared! But in typical fashion, instead of just fighting him immediately we head to the overworld screen. Hylas and I select the first level, The Haunted Shrine.

03 - I really had no idea what kind of genre this game falls under when I started playing, but it is readily apparent now, this is a scrolling shooter! There are tons of powerups and enemies flying all over.
04 - Dang skeletons tossing bones at us after they die!

05 - Some old man just floated around and threw stuff at us, this game is really weird. But fun!

08 - Wow! We just beat the first boss! It was the ugly goblin from the beginning. Stupid guy was tossing nuts at us. Hylas and I wailed on him with our weapons (Pocky throws playing cards and Rocky throws leaves) and slowly took him down, but we both died once. This game is insane!
09 - Cutscene now of the goblin talking. He starts telling us about what happened: the goblins were having a party when a hooded stranger approached. Poor guys, it was the Black Mantle!

10 - Next level up is the Enchanted Forest. What a unique name... The bad guys start battling us right away.

11 - It's not long before we encounter a fire breathing cyclops, hahaha, he goes down in a flurry of cards and leaves.

13 - Well, the game just keeps throwing bosses at us, next up was a hollow green stick! He seems to know who the mysterious Black Mantle is.
15 - Another Cyclops who goes down as I whoop him from behind. Hylas gives me a warning: don't fall in the water!

18 - That was good advice because we just had a three minute rafting sequence of fending off enemies. Surprisingly, neither Rocky nor Pocky took a swim.

19 - Oh man, an octopus boss! With dragon heads on his tentacles. Not more tentacles! I lost all my lives. Game Over for me...
20 - Hylas won out though and there is now a cutscene of him talking with some turtle goblins. Dang it, Pocky is still alive in the cutscene!

21 - Our next stop is the cemetery... I'm out of lives so I guess I'll just watch Hylas play for a bit.

22 - Geez this level is intense, and I'm not even playing at the moment! Hylas using Rocky weaves his way through the graves only to fight an undead monster! Well, Hylas is also undead now. More like dead. Okay, I'll stop.
23 - Game Over for both of us! But thankfully we get to continue and we both come back with full lives at the graveyard. Nice.

25 - We made it to the boss together this time, man, half of these guy's attack are unavoidable! I don't think we killed him, but he disappears and we're able to enter the crypt.

28 - Holy crap man, boss after boss. This time it was a genie who teleported around the room and threw fire at us while turning into clouds. Someone was on drugs.
30 - Wow, another tremendously hard sequence where we had to avoid skulls and bats and green globs and moving walls that tried to shove us into pits. We both lose all of our lives. Game Over again. And the cemetery again.

34 - We just beat the demon and the genie again, but I'm on my last life. This is going to be so hard.

35 - Well I lost that life in record time. Having two players fight each other by scrolling the screen when there are so many pits is really difficult. Hopefully Hylas can do this on his own...
36 - Nope. Game Over again.

42 - This time was almost worst than last. I was too quick on the start button and started the cemetery level without Hylas, so he had to steal one of my lives to join and play. We actually made it pretty far on a life shortage, but the game's supreme difficulty won out in the end, of course.

45 - We're doing really well this time. We both have two lives remaining after beating the genie.

48 - Finally! We defeat the demon again at the end, this time using bombs (which I didn't know how to use... L and R buttons!), and have finally beaten the cemetery level!
49 - Suddenly the Gorgonzola flying fortress has appeared in the sky! Black Mantle must be in there! The next level is called Battle in the Sky. I have no idea how both Pocky and Rocky are familiar with this flying fortress, but they are and they're note scared.

51 - Well, I lose my one life very quickly. First I fell off, then got trampled by a falling skull. Not fun! There is also a cloud monster that seems unstoppable. Basically this whole game is unstopabble.

52 - Hylas loses his last life when he jumps off the cliff with an animal he's riding!
54 - We're back, but not for long. Pocky loses her last life and now Rocky is once again on his own. The game is forcing him through a scroll maze. Basically a maze that would be super easy to walk through if it weren't for the automatically scrolling screen. Well, there's also tons of pirates shooting at him and some doors are blowing fire in all directions.

56 - Somehow he's still alive and kicking! Go Rocky!

57 - Oh oh, the level boss. It's some bird man monster who throws deadly feathers at Rocky. I guess we'll give this one more go now that the raccoon man is dead.

60 - And that last go was just enough! We use all our bombs on the bird monster to whoop down on him! Just a few more levels remain but we are out of time on the first hour of Rocky & Pocky!

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 6
For being a SNES shoot 'em up, Pocky & Rocky's story is not half bad! We get some fun cutscenes between levels that aren't too long and the graphics are cute enough to keep it appealing. The story is basic, kind of reminds me of something like Kirby where you have to save all your furry friends. The Black Mantle was a nice, dark addition to an otherwise cheerful game, just wish I could have met him face to face in the first hour instead of hearing all his minions blab on and on about who and where he is.

Graphics and Sound: 8
Colorful, well detailed, and a heck of a lot of stuff going on makes for a great looking 16-bit scrolling shooter. Pocky & Rocky came out years before Harvest Moon and honestly this game looks better! The color palette was chosen so well that the sprites pop out of the screen. The game isn't beautiful, but it's not trying to inspire games like Ikaruga, it is doing it's own thing and it does it great. Honestly, I didn't notice the music much, the game was just so intense. The sound effects were light and appropriate, no voices, but no big deal.

Gameplay: 7
I really had no idea this game was so hard, and we were playing two player on EASY. Hylas and I can't even imagine playing on a harder level let alone beating the game on easy (we tried, got bored from dieing so much). A hard game doesn't mean too much unless the game is unfair, which Pocky & Rocky generally is. There are some moments with respawning enemies and raccoon-seeking projectiles that made us kind of angry, but that's the challenge of the game. It has a cute presentation and then never lets up after the first minute. There are a few moments of bullet hell near the end of the first hour that made the game very tough, and even though you have a few hearts of life, there's really no moment of invincibility that you sometimes see in other shoot 'em ups. Overall gameplay though is solid and fun.

Fun Factor: 7
Hard games can be a lot of fun, and Pocky & Rocky's first hour is pretty enjoyable. I remember the first time I played Ikaruga and was just blown out of the water within minutes, Pocky & Rocky thankfully has a much better difficult curve but compared to most games it is still harsh. That's okay though, because if you enjoy shoot 'em ups this is a great, light-hearted approach to the genre that's obsessed with spaceships and crappy stories. This specific sub-genre of a Commando-like game is a rather rare breed these days, so it can be pretty fun to take a step back in time and check out what developers were doing 15 years ago.

Oh yeah, best part about this game is when you slide into your teammate which sends them careening around the screen on their bottom bouncing into everything for like five seconds. It's hilarious!

Minutes to Action: 3

Overall: 7
Pocky & Rocky is a decent scrolling shoot 'em up that takes a light-hearted approach to the genre. Sitting down with a friend and tackling this game head on for an afternoon would be great fun, and I don't think this game is much longer than an hour for the skilled shmupper. This game basically requires two players though not because of its difficulty, but because it makes it a lot more fun to count on your fellow raccoon/young lady when taking on the forces of the Dark Mantle. I recommend this game to anyone who is a fan of the genre or just likes to go back and play old and quirky games.

The Japanese cover, because the American cover is a Grade A Disaster.

Game 39: Another World

2008-04-14T16:30:00.033-05:00

Another World (Out of this World) is a cinematic platformer released on just about every system back in 1991. Now the phrase, "cinematic platformer" gives me shivers because of its sheer potential of awfulness. When I hear those words I think of terrible gameplay and ugly, "realistic" looking graphics. The games are typically rotoscoped to give them a unique graphical style, which usually doesn't bother me, it's more the style of gameplay that makes me experience nasty flashes of nostalgia. If you've ever played the original Prince of Persia games, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Another World is known as Out of this World in the United States. Much like Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit, the game is renamed for some stupid reason that leaves people confused and wondering whether the stone is the sorcerer's or the philosopher's. Either way, the game supposedly influenced Fumito Ueda, who went on to create Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. So at least this game was good for something, but let's check out the first hour of Out of this World to see if it can properly defend itself and (in my opinion) the thankfully lacking genre known as the cinematic platformer.

I'll be playing the 15th Anniversary Edition for the PC released in 2006. The game features higher resolution graphics and more detailed backgrounds.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select New Game and the first hour of Another World begins. We're looking at a lonely building under the night sky. Suddenly a car screeches to a halt in front of it. A man gets out of the vehicle and enters the building. An elevator door opens and our orange haired driver steps out.
01 - He types in a code on a keypad and gets scanned. All his vitals match and the computer types out, "Good evening professor." It even knows what car I drove here from the key I'm holding.

02 - The professor is sitting at a workstation now and enters CDOS. He types in the command, "Run Project 23."

03 - He's running a particle acceleration experiment.
04 - Once that is complete he starts a practical trial, pops a soda and watches the fireworks. Literally! A storm outside shot a bolt of lightning into the cyclotron, opening up a portal on the professor! Him and his entire desk is gone!

06 - Woah, the professor landed in a deep pool of water and it was almost too late before I realized I had to swim him up and out of the water! At the last moment it looked like tentacles were reaching out to me. As I crawl out of the pool, a strange creature runs away.

07 - Well, for better or worse I now have total control. I walk right, kicking slugs along the way. One falls on me and stings me! I fall dead! Wow, that was fast!
08 - I crawl out of the pool again... a moment later I'm dead from another slug!

09 - Well what the frak? (Battlestar Galactica is back by the way!) The giant monster that was watching me climb out of the pool just pounced on me and killed me! How was I supposed to fend that guy off?

10 - Stupid slugs.

11 - Well, I figured out how to run so this time I run from the monster, but when I enter that screen again I immediately get killed. This is going to take a lot of trial and error I believe. Man, I wish I could just run over these slugs.
12 - Okay, the monster follows me from screen to screen, looks like I'll have to run and jump over the slugs and get back to the pool? No idea.

13 - Ugh, I got away and the monster tripped, so I became lazy and stopped. Bad idea, I was dead a moment later.

15 - WOW! Epic! I ran all the way to the left from the monster, jumped off a cliff, swung from a vine to the other side of the brute, ran all the way back to the right, and then the beast got blown away by some guys cloaked in black! Then they shot at me! Now I'm hanging in a tiny cage with some ugly looking dude.
16 - I actually have control so I start swinging the cage back and forth using my momentum. Ha, owned! We land the cage on a guard's head and take off running.

18 - Whoops, I got shot. Now I have to do the cage sequence again. This time I notice that the guard dropped his gun and I grab it. Awesome!

19 - Ugh, I got shot in the back. No idea where that guard came from. Cage sequence again.

21 - You can make a shield with your gun. And that's exactly what an enemy just did. This is tough!
23 - I finally make it past the shooting sequence and we hop on a lift and head down... Oh, by the way, the guy who I was in the cage with is chilling out with me. Luckily I can't shoot him!

25 - Dang, I get shot. This time I head up on the lift, nope. Dead end. We head all the way to the bottom of the lift and I shoot a guard in the back. Nice. There's some flashy thing on the wall so I shoot it, I think it shorted something out.

27 - Man, this game is brutal with replaying sequences!

28 - Odd, I just fell down a hole and now I'm rolling around. Geez, I keep dying brutal deaths in here, nasty! Falling too far isn't a big deal for most video game heroes! I think I keep getting killed by water rushing down on me. This is really weird.
31 - Well, I finally made it out and into some force field room. As I enter the force field my hair stands on end and I get zapped! I didn't die though so it must have triggered something...

32 - As I head outside and kill a guard, my buddy runs by in the foreground and is being chased by three guards! Cool! Hahaha! I just got impaled by a spike when I failed to jump a ledge!

34 - I've been impaled two more times... I am able to jump down to a ledge further down but I have no where to go. Hmm...

37 - This is getting really annoying. I wish I knew what that force field area did. The game keeps returning me right there after I die.
40 - Oh, I was supposed to shoot the wall with my powered up gun. Oh. Wow, the backgrounds in this cave are beautiful!

41 - As I head further right I can hear water running. Geez, it's like a waterfall in here! I try to walk on the platform, and well, that doesn't work.

42 - I head up some stairs out of the cave and am on the other side of that massive jump. All right! Well, another waterfall room. Doesn't look like I'm supposed to be going this way. Deeper into the cave I guess.

43 - Oh man... I'm in the room underneath the pool of water that the waterfall rushes into. I am so tempted to blow away the small piece of rock holding it all up. Okay, I'm going to do it. Haha, I died immediately. But it looks like I might have been able to run away?
45 - Well, you can run away, but I'm not doing a very good job at it. Honestly I don't even know why I would want to do this in the first place?

46 - Okay, that was funny. I made it over a jump and watched the water rush into the pit. Then I just stood there, all of a sudden the whole cave below me must have filled up because the water was rushing up right at me a moment later! Awesome!

50 - I'm starting to wonder if that water sequence was just a red herring as I found another part of the cave where it seems you might be able to proceed differently. But there are a bunch of rocks falling on my head and I keep getting squashed!

51 - I somehow time the rocks amazingly well only to get squished immediately on the next screen.
53 - Phew, I've made it past the falling rocks, but now there are many eating tentacle monsters trying to get me!

54 - Man, these guys are really bastards. You have to time all these lame jumps perfectly well and since this is a "cinematic platformer" you also have to deal with all the crappiness that goes with that!

57 - If I make it past the tentacles I just fall in the pits anyway. Grr...
58 - I'm going to have nightmares of these tentacle monsters eating me.

59 - Finally, I have made it to a room with no tentacles and no pits! Too bad it's empty and there's no where to go.

60 - Yeah, that's a great place to stop. In an empty room.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 6
Another World's story was intentionally left vague, so I kind of have to wrap my own details around what I'm playing. Personally, if I got teleported to an alien world where I was getting shot at, chased around by giant man-eating beasts, and getting devoured by tentacle beings, I would be pretty freaked out. The guy in this game (Lester, can't actually figure that out from the game as far as I can tell) is holding his composure pretty well. I think the most interesting aspect about the game is not Lester being transported to "another world," but his immediate friendship with his fellow cage-mate. I wish the game would have paired us up together a little longer in its first hour, but it redeemed itself about half way through when I saw him running in the foreground. I was reminded that we're both unwelcome in this land and if we're going to get out, it's going to be together.

Graphics and Sound: 7
The 15th Anniversary Edition of Another World brings a remarkable graphical improvement over the game's original release. In my opinion, the game looks so much better and is even pretty passable as a 2D platformer. The backgrounds have evolved the most, and benefit greatly from the higher resolutions, but the characters are also a bit smoother. The animations haven't changed as far as I can tell though, but that's more of a gameplay issue, which I'll get to next. Another World is light on sound effects but the music I heard in its first hour was excellent.

Gameplay: 4
I guess the thing with cinematic platformers is that you either love them, hate them, or have never even imagined such an atrocity of a sub-genre. Because of the way the animations are recorded and rotoscoped, you can't take tiny little baby steps because the game has specific step lengths already programmed in. This is most frustrating when running and jumping, because you really have to plan your jumps far in advance and if you started your running animation at the wrong point, you will probably fail at your jump.

As you can tell, I'm not really fond of these types of games, and I was honestly starting to get into Another World. That is, until I realized the game was obsessed with trial and error and making me replay sequences over and over again. There are plenty of checkpoints, but they're generally placed directly before time-sucking scenes so you waste a lot of time just doing the same thing over and over again. I bet you could beat this game in less than an hour, probably far less than that, but first time gamers will be frustrated. I do think that if you're good at this game you'll have fun and blaze through it in a short afternoon.

Fun Factor: 6
Though I rip on Another World's gameplay pretty harshly, there are some incredibly awesome sequences that when you pull them off, you'll pump your fist in the air and come away with a big smile on your face. Of course, these all come after many attempts and lots of time trying to figure out exactly what to do. It is satisfying moving on from a level knowing you've figured out the game's behind-the-scenes puzzles, but it's not all fun and laughter.

Minutes to Action: 6

Overall: 6
In my opinion, Another World's first hour suffers most from the genre it was developed for. Cinematic platformers probably sound great on paper as you get realistic looking animations, but the gameplay usually suffers from being unnatural and just not fluid. I've personally never played one that I really enjoyed, but I think I might actually continue on with Another World. The story is intriguing enough and I think I can put up with the frustrating gameplay to finish it, I'm pretty sure the game isn't too long. I guess that's a good feeling to have when coming out of playing the first hour of a video game. Undoubtedly the most important. To have the will to finish it.

The game's creator, Eric Chahi, has a great site detailing Another World's development from start to finish. I highly recommend it.

Game 38: BioShock

2008-04-07T16:30:00.001-05:00

BioShock was widely heralded as the 2007 game of the year. I always pay close attention to games labeled as such because they're generally important to video game history and have great influence on the industry. BioShock seems like it will be no exception. It's a first-person shooter for the PC and Xbox 360 and is set on the dystopian underwater city called Rapture. Our hero unwittingly arrives there and must uncover Rapture's dark secrets while staying alive. Rapture was built by Andrew Ryan, an Objectivist who attempts to fulfill his dream society under the sea. Things obviously don't go smoothly.

BioShock has sold millions, won a ton of awards, and probably has a ton of sequels on the way. But how does the first hour of it fare? Let's dive into BioShock and experience Rapture.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I start a New Game and the first thing to do is set the game's brightness level. BioShock wants to be very dark but I compromise with it and find an appropriate level. Loading... 1960 in the Mid-Atlantic. We're on an airplane, a man is talking about his life and looking at some pictures in front of him and smokes a cigarette. Suddenly there are screams and the plane goes down! The BioShock logo appears, dripping with water.
01 - I'm in the water, drowning. Parts of the plane are whizzing past me at intense speeds. Fire laces the top of the water. Awesome looking water and flame effects. I have control now and have to make my way through the wreckage.

02 - I swim by the plane slowly sinking into the water and make my way towards a lighthouse sticking out of the ocean. It is the only way to go.

03 - I enter and the doors shut behind me, it's completely dark. Suddenly the lights come on illuminating a sign, "No Gods or Kings. Only Man."

04 - I make my way down the stairs and into a bathysphere waiting for me. I pull the lever and descend. Suddenly a sixties-esque video starts playing. It's Andrew Ryan! Who?
05 - Andrew begins the video by defending the common man against the state and church. The video cuts away and we get a beautiful look at Rapture, his underwater city. It truly looks awesome. Science holds no morals here. His words, not mine.

06 - There's whales and squids swimming through the underwater skyscrapers. Neon signs flicker all over. The art design is incredible. The designers have perfectly captured this era that I can not properly put into words. The bathysphere docks and we go to the loading screen.

07 - A couple of men are talking over the radio. There's a man outside my vessel's window. Two actually, and I watch in horror as one guts the other in a bloody mess. The guy has claws for hands. He jumps on my vessel and starts ripping at it! Sparks and screeching, a frightening earful.

08 - The man runs away, phew. I pick up a radio and a man named Atlas starts talking to me as I leave the bathysphere.
09 - I'm looking out the windows now, a great sight. There's moaning and heavy breathing all around, scary atmosphere. A sign that says "Ryan doesn't own us." A "splicer" appears in front of me but then a flying robot chases him off.

10 - I pick up a wrench and knock away some rubble. As I start climbing a staircase someone throws a flaming couch down to me. I attempt to jump over it!

11 - At the top of the stairs is a deranged looking man, we duel with wrenches and I win with two devastating blows to the noggin. I search his body and take a first aid kit.

12 - I'm able to beat down on the surroundings with my wrench, it's quite powerful. In something that looks like a vending machine I find a large needle with a red substance in it. For some insane reason I put it into my forearm!? Why would I do that? My hands start glowing and I collapse over the balcony.
13 - I'm out cold and some splicers appear over me. They mention that it looks like my cherry has been popped.

14 - The splicers run off in fear as a giant walks up, and then a little girl. The girl has a large needle, but she sees that I'm still breathing and they walk away. What a truly frightening sequence of events. I stand up and my left hand has sparks running through it, I can now throw electricity!

15 - Wow! I throw lightning at a door panel to override the controls, as I step into the tunnel, part of the plane crashes through! I have to crawl through part of the fuselage to continue, all the while it seems like the entire tunnel could collapse from the water pressure. What an awesome scene.

17 - In the shadows I can see a splicer run by, on the radio Atlas tells me to give him the one-two punch, lightning and then wrench. I miss with the electricity a few times but eventually get my point across.18 - I have two bars on my screen, one for health, the other for plasmid power. When my plasmid power runs out I inject myself again. Man, I do not think I could handle this needle-driven world.

19 - An elevator in front of me collapses in a flaming mess and a man on fire runs out. I put him out of his misery. Poor chap. I take the other elevator up. Atlas starts telling me about his family and how he's cut off from them. He asks for my help. I don't think I have a choice but to help. I have to head to Neptune's bounty.

20 - I hear a woman's voice softly singing and in the shadows can see her over a baby carriage. Someone sane?

21 - Nope, she's singing to a six-shooter. I knock her out with my wrench and upgrade to the pistol.
22 - I head down to the remnants of a 1959 New Year's Eve party. There's hats strewn about along with liquor. A woman starts shooting at me, it takes four wrench whacks to knock her out. I also pick up a recording of some sort, I listen to it.

23 - A woman named Diane McClintock is talking about how she was stood up by her date on New Year's Eve. It seems pointless, but it adds to the atmosphere.

24 - At the end of the recording there's screaming as something bad happens. This may have been the beginning of the end for Rapture.

25 - I walk out of a kitchen to find a few splicers walking in a pool of water. Atlas tells me to zap them, they go down quickly to the powerful electricity.
26 - I walk into the woman's bathroom (complete with Fallout-esque drawings for women and men signs) and I see the ghost of a woman muttering at the sink. She says she's too spliced up. Creepy.

27 - In the men's room one of the stalls is blown away, leading to the next area. Down below I can see an interesting sight... a little girl is stabbing a dead body with a giant needle, over and over again.

28 - Atlas explains it's a little sister, a transformed girl, and not for the better. They carry Adam, the thing everyone wants.

29 - Suddenly a splicer shows up and starts to attack her. Out of no where comes the Big Daddy! The giant hulking monster slams the slicer into the wall incredibly violently. The Big Daddies protect the Little Sisters. I do not plan to mess with those guys.
30 - The cool thing is everything in the environment can be searched. I've found cake, alcohol, cigarettes, needles, power bars, you name it, it's here. I love the interactivity.

31 - It's very satisfying frying splicers in the water. Woah, a dead Big Daddy. Can they be killed?

32 - Suddenly the gates close around me and the alarm sounds! What's going on? Someone has just tried to flamethrower me!

34 - Running from the alarm I head towards the Medical Pavilion. I'm locked in a room now. Andrew Ryan is talking directly to me. He asks if the CIA or KGB sent me? Did they?
35 - Splicers start banging at the window, oh crap, there's a lot of them. Atlas tells me to run, and I do. Loading.

36 - Next objective is to find the emergency access, I'm officially in the Medical Pavilion. Hey, a vending machine, with a creepy clown as a mascot. And it's selling needles and vodka. What is this, Moscow?

37 - I pick up another message, again from Diane. She's talking about how her splicing hasn't gone too well. Sounds like she's had a lot of medical work done.

39 - A security bot is blocking a door, I have the option to hack it... cool. It's basically a game of Pipe Dream, easy enough.
40 - Wow, the hacked security bot is now on my team, not bad.

41 - Another spoken message, from a man named Steinman. He's a surgeon here, seems to be doing some nasty stuff to his patients. "Change your look, change your race, change your sex. It's your's to change." Crazy, but I suppose he has a point though, huh?

42 - I've found the emergency access, but it's locked down. There's a security panel though, so I activate that. Atlas tells me if I want to use the access I'll need Steinman's key. Gotta find the good doctor.

44 - I hit the emergency button and it's like the Gates of Hell have opened up. Splicers run into the Medical Pavilion in packs, time for a battle. But I have a trusty machine gun with me now.
46 - Wow, a little intense. I even accidentally electrify my robot friend and it's out of commission for a moment. A lot of the splicers are dressed as surgeons. Not a good sign.

47 - I check my map, the Medical Pavilion is HUGE! This is not one hour's worth of work here.

48 - Another verbal diary from Steinman. As he's talking I come across a turret which I zap and now I can hack.

50 - A diary from Andrew Ryan, ranting about his views and values on health care.
51 - Speaking of health care, I come across a health station I can hack... interesting. I hack it successfully and now the station will hurt bad guys if they try to heal on it, awesome.

53 - I hack another turret and watch it mow down some splicers. I take that back, I watch it horrendously miss some splicers. How can machines be such horrible shots?

54 - Two vending machines, one of them for ammo. I can hack them both and reduce their prices. Interesting concept. Why not just make them free?

55 - My little flying robot friend is really in trouble, he hasn't hit much but at least he's taking shots for me.
56 - Ooh, a security camera. I zap it and start the hack.

58 - Nifty little sequence here, I'm inside the Eternal Flame, Rapture's crematorium. There's a body next to the furnace, I hit the button to incinerate it, the body goes in, and out comes something called Hacker's Delight. A physical tonic, it will help me hack better.

60 - I run across a grenade tossing surgeon. Atlas informs me that I'll need to find the telekinesis power so that I can grab the grenades mid-flight and blow up some rubble. Wow, that sounds pretty awesome. Too bad BioShock's first hour is up.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 9
BioShock's story isn't shown to you in cutscene after cutscene, but delivered to you while playing, sometimes while in the middle of battle! Andrew Ryan is introduced quickly as both Rapture's great mastermind and possibly the key to its downfall. Almost definitely the man we'll be taking on at the very end, but within the first hour just heard over the loudspeaker. Citizen's stories are also told through voice diaries you find along the way and it is up to you to piece things together. And finally the mystery man, Atlas, who you only meet over the walkie talkies. It's definitely very atmospheric to feel like you don't have any real allies, but I feel like the game's first hour was missing something. I can't place my finger on it, but maybe it was the lack of background on me, the main character. Even seemingly obscure characters like Doctor Steinman have more information on them. All I know is that maybe I was sent by the CIA or KGB. Not a big deal though, as I expect things will be fleshed out later on.

One incredibly odd thing: why does our hero immediately inject himself when finding a needle on the ground?

Graphics and Sound: 10
Beautiful. Stunning. Incredible. Plenty of words describe the first hour of BioShock in terms of graphics and sound. The game's presentation is the new high level mark for video games, whether they're on the console or the PC. There are many different points to praise but I'll just focus on three: the water effects, the game's atmosphere, and the voice acting. Firstly, Rapture is completely underwater at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean. This means there is a ton of water. I don't know how they did it but 2K Games had me thinking I was going to get soaked at every turn. From the innocent drip to water rushing in at me during amazing scripted sequences, it was perfect all around.

Water in such quantities, deep under the ocean, is incredibly intimidating. The world of Rapture is dark, foreboding, and crawling with some of the creepiest humans ever in video games. I was scared while playing BioShock because of the unknown. Lights flicker out, screams can be heard in the distant, and simply never know what will be revealed next. Speaking of screams, the voice acting was stellar. There wasn't a lot, and you never saw the speaker face to face, but the writing and direction drove the story as much as anything else.

Gameplay: 10
BioShock's gameplay is nearly flawless. It controls great: use your weapon with the right trigger and throw lightning with the left. This immediately opens up so many gameplay options later on and even in the first hour you can use Atlas' handy "one-two punch." Shooting lightning at splicers standing in pools of water is so obviously simple but I have never seen it done before! It just works so well with this game. And like I talked about in the Graphics and Sound section, the game's atmosphere is marvelous. BioShock's first hour is dark and scary, and the level design is top notch. The game introduces its core mechanics gradually while never pretending it is going easy on you. Hordes of enemies, turrets, and flying robots you can hack are all present in the first hour, and ready to kill you.

Fun Factor: 9
Well, maybe BioShock's atmosphere was a little too intense! I don't do too well with scary games, and BioShock was no exception. Some parts were very slow going because I was frightened to see what was around the corner! As opposed to some people, I don't see this as pure enjoyment, but the deep gameplay and involving storyline kept me enthralled either way. One of the best parts was how deeply interactive the environments were. You could take your wrench and pretty much destroy everything in the vicinity! Bottles and boxes are crushed under its weight. Or you can pick up bottles of alcohol, smoke some cigarettes, or eat a power bar. All have varying effects on your health and plasmid powers, and it's fun to experiment. The game's political viewpoints were also very interesting, Andrew Ryan may be a bad guy, but he does have some good ideas.

Minutes to Action: 1

Overall: 9
Not too many flaws in BioShock's first hour, as this is one of the greatest hours of gameplay I have ever played. Rapture is a truly wonderful and frightening place, and BioShock is the ultimate medium to deliver its story. The game has me craving more and more of it, but at the same time has me timid at the prospects of continuing on. How many more horrors does BioShock have waiting for me? Will I encounter a Big Daddy head on? Is this game the pinnacle of first hours? I think it falls slightly short in my mind, but that shouldn't diminish BioShock as a whole. Go play it.

Game 37: Bible Adventures

2008-03-31T16:30:00.022-05:00

Bible Adventures is an old, unlicensed NES game made by Wisdom Tree. Since it was unlicensed and not approved by Nintendo, they were able to do cool things like have a baby blue colored cartridge and even featured their own Wisdom Tree Seal of Quality on the box. The game is a popular target for "Worst Game of all Time," mostly thanks to Seanbaby, but honestly this game was not that bad. Definitely not even in the bottom 10%. Compare it to other officially licensed crap like Deadly Towers or Bebe's Kids and you actually have a decent game going. Anyways, Bible Adventures features three Bible stories: Baby Moses, David and Goliath, and Noah's Ark told through platformers. They all pretty much play the same, but the Baby Moses game is actually pretty bad.

Since today is the last day of March, the month is supposed to be end like a lamb, which basically means it will be a calm Spring day. Instead, we have a heavy snow warning and are expecting 6-8 inches of slushy snow. Ugh. I reviewed The Lion King at the beginning of the month when March was supposed to come in like a lion (it was a nice day) and Bible Adventures is one of the only games that features sheep in even a small role. The other game I considered was Sheep for the PC but decided to do the more well known Bible Adventures. Well, let's get to the review.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select Noah's Ark and the first hour of Bible Adventures begins. A Bible verse appears, with lots of ellipses skipping the unimportant parts. God flooded the world and told Noah to collect two of every creature.
01 - Well, the game has started! I'm playing as a bearded Noah, and I guess I have to collect animals. There's something in front of me... a cat? I'm not really sure.

02 - Nice! I have just hoisted the animal above my head! I don't know what to do with it though. I'm just running along, so far I've also seen a horse and a pig.

03 - Ah, it was a cow! I have collected the female cow and put it in the cave underneath the blinking arrow. A checklist appears detailing all the animals I need. Cows, horses, monkeys, snakes, pigs, and oxen. What the... a monkey just tossed some poop at me or something.
04 - I've stuffed that fecal monkey into the Ark now, so it's all good. Next the female ox.

05 - I pick up something that looks like a tablet and a Proverbs verse has appeared on screen.

06 - Noah is trying to pick up a pig but it's too slippery or something.

07 - I think I dropped a bale of hay on its head to knock it out. The female pig has been delivered.
09 - I was chasing after the other pig, but the horse ran by so I grabbed that! Wow, Noah must be buff to be lifting equine above his head. Plus he has a six foot vertical while carrying animals too. I have all the female animals except the snake. Oh, the male pig! Got it!

10 - For whatever reason, the male cow was chilling out on top of the Ark. How did it get up there?

11 - The male horse has a pink tail, not very manly. Just need the male monkey and ox, and both snakes. There are snakes climbing around the trees but I don't know how to get them. Woah, I can climb trees too!
12 - Haha, I grab the male monkey and he's holding a banana above his head, hilarious!

14 - I have reached the far right wall of the level. Still don't know where the male ox is or how to get the snakes. Birds keep pecking me when I'm climbing the trees. Shouldn't we be bringing the birds too?

16 - Oh, the male ox was just hanging out on the far left, but he head-butted me as I approached! Now for the last two snakes... I just went inside a cave. Not much in here though. I do pick up a tablet, and instead of getting a Bible verse I get a game hint. Pressing up will let me climb. Duh.
17 - Interesting, there's some different snakes over here. I deliver one to the Ark and all I have left is the male snake.

20 - Well, I have successfully delivered all the animals, now Noah is double checking his checklist as I watch all the animals run by. One by one.

21 - Just received a warning, "Get ready to climb those trees." Nah, think I'll try one of the other games. Time for Baby Moses! A long Bible verse appears, Pharaoh has ordered all little baby boys to be killed, but a Levite woman saved her boy by floating him down a river.
22 - The game starts off with me as the woman and a baby right in front of me. Must be Moses! I pick him up.

23 - Wow, this game has mini trampolines that launch me way up high. Good stuff.

24 - I got hit by a spider and the woman chucked Baby Moses into the river! Wasn't that the whole point though?

25 - I'm climbing around some pyramids, but this game is hard! There's soldiers all over hitting me with the spears and throwing stuff at me, and the big eyed spiders! Plus the game doesn't have any invincibility period after you get hit that I can tell, which makes things harder.
26 - Well, the woman and Moses make it to the end of the level. This new level is very purple.

28 - Wow, owned! The woman falls into the water and we die! Baby Moses is down for the count! I get the option to restart, continue, or choose a different game. I think I'll stick with this one for a bit. For kicks I start off the level again by throwing Moses in. Heh. He reappears though.

30 - Some bird just picked me up and lifted me off the ground, but I lost the baby on the way up. Ugh, these jumps are too long to be vaulted very easily.
32 - This freaking bird reminds me of the Sun from Super Mario Bros. 3. Annoying! Lame, I just fell in the water again.

34 - Yay, finally beat the second level. You know what's crazy about this game is that all the enemies interact with the stage just like you do. They jump off the trampolines, fall off ledges into the water, and other crazy, unexpected stuff.

35 - Well, the last level was purple, this one is an ugly yellow gold. The platforming elements have been upped though too. There's this soldier that is horribly placed so that he always knocks you and Baby Moses into the water.
37 - Okay, beat the third level. There are so many enemies on the screen at once, but the game is pretty much just a race to the far right of the level. I think I'm done with Baby Moses.

38 - Time for the game that I came here for: David and Goliath! Another long set of Bible verses, this time talking about David keeping his father's sheep, and when attacked by wild animals, he struck them and rescued the sheep! Sweet!

39 - Oh, right at the bottom it says my objective is to find four sheep and bring them to the corral. Right at the start of the level I have squirrels throwing nuts at me! HAHA! One of the squirrels just knocked out the other one!
40 - David found a sheep, but I'm not sure where to take it yet, guess I'll just keep heading to the right. Woah, a lion just leaped at me!

41 - The lion got knocked out by a squirrel nut so I just picked him up along with my lamb. A big giant, flashing arrow points me to the spot I have to drop the sheep.

43 - These lions are just ignoring me when I'm not hauling around sheep.

45 - A wandering squirrel has just knocked out: my sheep, a lion, and another squirrel. Not only that but my sheep is now in an unreachable position!
46 - Wake up you stupid sheep!

47 - Now there's a goat harassing my sheep. Well, that goat was annoying enough but David rescued his third of fourth sheep.

50 - With all four sheep collected now, I proceed to the next level, which I guess is just David carrying four more sheep to the corral.

51 - Sweet, this level is laid out pretty vertically, but it allowed me to quickly collect and deliver three sheep.
52 - Ugh, my fourth and final sheep is on a small platform with three other head-butting goats. Nothing for me to do but die.

55 - I beat the second sheep level now with David. Now bring on Goliath! Woah, instead of Goliath the game throws scorpions at me! Nasty!

56 - Haha, just delivered all four sheep at once, it was tough though because I was getting mauled by lions and stung by scorpions. The first enemy I see in the next level looks like an anteater.
59 - I have all four sheep but I can't make the last jump up to the corral! Ugh, I just lost two of my sheep and they flung off to who knows where.

60 - All right, I'm sick of this. I wanted to fight Goliath! But that's all the time there is for Bible Adventures for the NES.

Now for some scores out of 10.

Story: 3
The three stories in Bible Adventures are introduced quickly to the player by a screen long summary and then are quickly forgotten about. I have no problem with this as most people playing Bible Adventures are familiar enough with the Old Testament stories of Noah, Moses, and David. There are a few Bible verses scattered throughout the first hour but they don't seem too applicable to the game at hand.

Graphics and Sound: 5
Bible Adventures does not look that bad, but the sound is definitely below average. Graphics wise, the characters are drawn pretty good, but sometimes I had no idea what animal I was dealing with. The animations are good and some of them are actually pretty funny. There are quite a few unique backgrounds but they later just start palette-swapping them with really crazy colors. The music was nothing special and the sound effects could have used a lot of work. Animals should make animal sounds!

Gameplay: 6
The Baby Moses game was pretty awful, but the Noah's Ark and David and Goliath games were definitely tolerable. If anything, Bible Adventures is an absolutely great example of a game where all the characters on the screen are interacting with each other. The squirrels are tossing around nuts that knock out anything that touches them, including other enemies. This is something you don't even see very often these days. It was pretty hilarious watching the characters interact with each other. The game also had no problem placing lots of characters on the screen at once (well, if you don't consider the NES sprite flicker a problem), which made it a tough go sometimes.

Fun Factor: 5
I can't really complain about the fun I had while playing Bible Adventures. It's a simple platformer wrapped in a light religious package. The three games were similar and basic, but they did their job and though it was frustrating at times, I was still smiling. The Baby Moses game was frantic, while the other two were more balanced, though they all became tedious.

Minutes to Action: 1

Overall: 5
I'm giving Bible Adventure's first hour a very average 5. Compared to other NES games at the time, it wasn't that horrible. A lot of people seem to compare it to Super Mario Bros. 2 (U.S.) but besides picking stuff up above your head and running around with it, I don't really see the connections. Either way, Bible Adventures is one of those unique games in video game history and worth checking out if only just to say, "I played Bible Adventures."

Game 36: Mystery Dungeon: Shiren the Wanderer

2008-03-24T16:30:00.002-05:00

Mystery Dungeon: Shiren the Wanderer is a new Nintendo DS adventure that is actually a port of a 1995 Super Nintendo game released only in Japan. Shiren's gameplay is based off the classic computer games Rogue and NetHack. This means randomly generated stages, turn-based gameplay, and harsh character death penalties. Games today are wussified to the point of being able to save anywhere and three hour long tutorials that wean you into the game, Mystery Dungeon is kind of a breath of fresh air. Even if it is a 13 year-old breath, it mixes up the portable scene a bit.

Not much left to say about Mystery Dungeon, I think the review and screenshots will explain the game pretty well.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select "Create a Travel Journal" and the first hour begins. I leave the character's name as Shiren (pronounced she-ren if you're wondering). A scroll unravels and the story begins... The Divine Bird of Legend, the Golden Condor lives in a golden city. A man named Shiren is looking for this city in memory of his friend.

01 - He has a pet weasel who talks to him. The pair are in Kobami Valley. In the distance we can see a tal, narrow mountain with a waterfall falling from it. Beautiful. The weasel introduces himself, his name is Koppa.
02 - Shiren is sleeping now, on the top screen is his dream. Looks like the mountain top and the golden condor are merging together.

03 - Still the opening cutscene as Shiren leaves the hut. Ah, the game is really starting now, the first level is called, "Road to the Hamlet." A tutorial begins. "Use A to defeat monsters and get to the stairs." Just A, huh? Oh, use B to move faster. Well that's easy enough.

04 - Woah, immediately after reading the dialogue I get attacked by a monster! I take him down with some timely presses of the A button. Is Shiren using a sword or what?

05 - The world is laid out like a grid, think walking around in Final Fantasy VI. What the heck? Holding B just kinda teleports Shiren across the screen. It's almost like I'm fast-forwarding the game... I'm going to be very leery of this B button.

06 - I fight another rabbit or something and get some experience for killing it. You regain HP by walking around, which is nice I suppose. This game seems very forced RPG though. Enemies run up and it's almost like a short turn-based battle between you and the baddie.

07 - I find a rice ball that I'm supposed to eat to reduce my hunger. Odd.

08 - Sweet, level 2! There's a convenient mini-map on the screen that shows me the areas I've uncovered and the positions of characters and enemies around me. Just killed a rabbit in one hit.

09 - I'm on the next level of the stage, oh, a robber is trying to kill me! He goes down in one hit. By the way, the rabbits are technically called Mamels.

10 - I find 133 Gitans on the ground. Gitans are the game's currency. Next I find and equip a wooden shield.

12 - Shiren just found a cudgel! Nice. And I also reach level 3.
13 - The game informs me that I may die of hunger if I don't eat rice balls. Ouch. My "fullness rating" is 53/100, guess I'll have a snack. That popped me up to 100/100!

16 - I'm just walking around now, killing bad guys, getting experience, and finding stairways. Nothing really to it all right now, pretty easy.

17 - Oh, I have successfully cleared the adventure. Interesting. Shiren is level 4 and my score is 70643. Next stage is Canyon Hamlet.

19 - I guess this is less of a stage and more of a town where I can talk to people and store items. I store a spare wooden shield in the warehouse.
21 - After talking to some villagers in the bar, I learn more about the game's gameplay. If you die in the game, you return to Canyon Hamlet and are reset to level 1! Woah, if you eat monster flesh you turn into that monster! Awesome! Reminds me of Final Fantasy Legend III.

23 - Interesting... every time you make a move, the monsters also move, but if you don't move, they won't move either. Good stuff to know, and pretty much confirms my suspicions of being a turn-based RPG.

26 - Well, Shiren has left the hamlet and is now on the Old Cedar Road. There are more villages every four areas.

27 - I'm in a forest now, and the gameplay seems a little deeper now that I have more information on the game.

28 - I encounter another wanderer in the forest, this guy shows off his +15 Katana and says he kept having it smithied on over and over again at the blacksmith. You think he would have called it something besides his +15 Katana.
30 - Woah, I just got whomped on by a boss I think! His name was Snaky and he was hitting me for 5-7 damage when I only have 19 total! Well, that's it for that adventure, my Shiren is returned to the hamlet's inn. I'm also back to level 1 and I don't have any items! Ouch.

32 - I go retrieve my wooden shield from the warehouse and equip it. I head right back out to the Old Cedar Road. I'm doing a lot less damage now without my trusty cudgel.

34 - What the... I just tripped over a rock, took damage, and dropped everything I had. Lame.

36 - This game is pretty easy when you don't have bosses beating down on you. Guess I just have to level up a bit before I challenge Snaky again.

38 - I entered an area thinking I was going to fight Snaky again, but turns out I'm at some mountain stream. And this chick is hitting on me! "I can make you feel special. Would you close your eyes for me?" What the... wonder how much this costs?
39 - I was blinded! All I can see is Shiren and the mini-map! This sucks.

40 - Phew, I can see again. Good thing there weren't any enemies.

41 - Oh man, speaking of enemies, Snaky just blitzed me! But this time I used a healing item and was able to take him out through attrition.

42 - Lame, Snaky wasn't a boss at all, just a normal enemy. I know this because I just fought another one! And then two at once! Unfair!
45 - No bad guys for a few minutes, but I'm starting to get hungry so I eat the rice ball I found at the beginning of my journey. It gives me 50 fullness points.

46 - I have reached Bamboo Village. Typical twangy Japanese music is playing.

47 - I enter a shop and there's crap laying all over the floor. One guy in the bar did say something about stealing... What, this ugly kid just said he was my brother. Odd.

49 - I buy a cudgel with my available funds.
50 - I'm back adventuring now, and the first thing that happens is a monster that steals 80% of my money and then runs off before I can kill him. Bastard. Another pickpocket has just stolen the last 20%. I'm sad.

52 - The good news is that I can beat Snaky's in only two hits now.

54 - I'm back in Bamboo Village, must have taken a wrong turn somewhere... Just found the blacksmith though, he can upgrade my weapon for 1000 Gitan. I only have 200 now thanks to those pickpockets.

55 - This village is really badly designed. There are a bunch of buildings and they are really spread apart so you have no idea where you're walking to next. There's just path after path and then a random building.

57 - A scene starts as I enter the bar, it's Pekeji, the brute who says he's my brother. I sympathize with him for a bit and then he wanders off. Weird.59 - Well, enough of that village, I'm now on Pegasus Ridge. Wow, there are fire-breathing Firepuffs up here. They sound fluffy but they look like mini dragons! One of them almost kills me.

60 - There's a lot more enemies on Pegasus Ridge and they're a lot tougher. Nothing is too tough for Shiren though as he hits level 7. But that's it for the first hour of Mystery Dungeon: Shiren the Wanderer.

Now for some scores out of 10.

Story: 4
There isn't much story in Mystery Dungeon beyond the opening cutscene, and there's not much meat there either. We have this wanderer named Shiren who is accompanied by a talking weasel. Shiren says his motivation for wandering and finding the golden city is because of his friend, who has died or something. My favorite aspect of this game's story is that there are also a lot of other wanderers/warriors hanging out in the levels, doing their thing. It reminds me of Final Fantasy X where there are a few other groups of people working parallel to you on the same quest.

Graphics and Sound: 5
An important part to consider when developing or porting a Nintendo DS game is effective use of both screens. Mystery Dungeon does not use the top screen well at all, it's just an overall map that is useless. I would rather see my current stats or maybe place the mini-map up there instead of overlaying it on the bottom screen. The graphics are also pretty simplistic, I don't know how they compare to the original Super Famicon version but the grid-based gameplay and a relatively confined playing area don't hold this game back as much as you would think.

The sound in Shiren the Wanderer is nothing special. The music is generic Japanese twangs and I honestly can't even remember if there are sound effects when fighting. Nothing stands out.

Gameplay: 7
Undoubted the most unique aspect of Mystery Dungeon is its wannabe-hardcore gameplay. All maps are randomly generated, though in the first hour they're all still pretty simplistic. But in this game, if you die, that's it, you're done. You restart at level one and are returned to the original village, losing all items you were carrying. I'm guessing this makes Mystery Dungeon all about slowly powering up your weapons and armor, while carefully making sure you don't lose them. I'm not sure how much I like the sound of that, but in its first hour, it's a pretty typical Zelda-style game with turn-based elements. All these combinations makes this game unique, but definitely not for everyone.

Fun Factor: 8
I actually had a pretty good time playing the first hour of Shiren the Wanderer. Once I realized that this game is turn-based it added some new layers of strategy that made me rethink what I was planning when enemies were around. There are some really annoying parts though like "running" which I'm pretty sure is literally just the game fast-forwarding itself. Worst of all, the areas that are NOT randomly generated are horribly designed. Basically every town is way too sprawled out and just plain obnoxious to navigate. Fighting is much more fun than running errands.

Minutes to Action: 4

Overall: 6
Mystery Dungeon: Shiren the Wanderer's first hour is just a slightly above average port of an old game and even older gameplay. The game runs with a unique concept that most console only gamers will never have experienced, and I believe most will be frustrated. The first hour though is nothing special. If you want to try something new, then this game seems like a really good portable experience for the patient gamer. If you're impatient or annoyed by strict death rules, then definitely pass on Shiren. By the way, what kind of lame name is Mystery Dungeon anyway? It sounds as lame Final Fantasy would now if the first game was just coming out.

The Japanese cover for Mystery Dungeon is so much better than the English release.

Game 35: Homeworld

2008-03-16T16:30:00.003-05:00

Homeworld is a 3D real-time strategy game released in 1999 on the PC, Mac, and Linux. It managed to garner a few Game of the Year awards in a pretty tough year of gaming which included Unreal Tournament, Alpha Centauri, Final Fantasy VIII, and the release of the Dreamcast, which of course means Soul Calibur. It wasn't an extremely strong year for the console world, so PC games did very well and Homeworld arrived at just the right time. The game is renowned for its engrossing storyline and cinematic graphical style. Not to mention a great implementation of real-time strategy in 3D space.

I usually take screenshots with Fraps for PC games but for whatever reason it didn't work for Homeworld. ZScreen to the rescue! This is my first time using the open source program and honestly it did a great job grabbing screens of this beautiful space game. Took me a while to find a working solution but ZScreen did the job just fine and worked for me immediately. Now let's get to the first hour review of Homeworld.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - Being entirely new to the 3D real-time strategy, I decide to try out the training first, and thus the first hour of Homeworld begins. A computerized female voice starts talking and introduces me to the controls. I'm looking at a funny looking orange spaceship. The right mouse button moves the camera. I swing it around for a bit.
01 - The game looks good but now that I know how to zoom in, Homeworld shows off an ugly side of blocky textures and polygons. Ah well. This ain't Sins of a Solar Empire.

02 - First up is building ships. Moving the mouse to the bottom of the screen reveals a hidden popup menu with some buttons to check out.

03 - Resources are measured in RU. Resource units I guess. Makes more sense than Gold.
05 - Following the game's instructions I build a resource ship, a research ship, and ten scouts. As I leave the build screen I can see my first scouts heading out from the mothership.

07 - The game has me zooming in and out on my various ships. Dragging multiple units in 3D is currently as easy as doing it in 2D. But of course, nothing hectic has happened yet.

08 - I instruct my resource collector to go Harvest, and the ship heads off with the camera following it to a nearby asteroid. Things are nice and smooth.
10 - I learn how to research next by using my research ship. This is all pretty typical RTS stuff, just done in space, and with spaceships.

12 - Movement is another story though. Now that I have three planes of space to work with, I have to use the Shift key to direct my ships along the vertical axis. It seems relatively intuitive though.

14 - Next up I bring up the Sensor Manager with the spacebar. The Sensor Manager is essentially a super zoomed out view of my current area. I can see my ships, and a red blinking dot signifying the enemy. Brown dots are harvesting points for resources.
17 - Wow, this is pretty cool stuff. I learn how to put my scouts into different formations. Watching them zoom around in 3D and real-time is pretty awesome. I send my scouts off to the enemy using the Sensor Manager. I bring the camera behind their Claw Formation.

20 - Nice, my first combat experience! My ships approach the stationary enemy and with a few clicks, start bombarding them with their little missiles!

22 - I give my scouts the order to dock back at the mothership, but the computer says that if I stick around, I might get some more combat. Why not?
29 - Well, seven minutes later and I'm still fighting my first battle! I don't know if this goes on forever so I think I'll get into the main game. Honestly, this has been pretty tough. It's hard to keep all the scouts grouped together and they don't make for very good fighters. The frigate I built was tough though and was able to take and deal a lot of damage. It is hard to keep everything on screen though when you have so much control.

30 - Now that training is done, I select Single Player and the game begins. Immediately it asks me to pick my fleet, either Kushan or Taiidan. I have no idea what these mean but both of them sound Japanese. Anyways, I select the default Kushan. I can customize the colors of the ships but that's a lot of work and not something I have time for. Clicking Start! sends me to a loading screen, and then the opening cutscene.

31 - Sweet, I really like this art style. It's almost exactly like Hotel Dusk, a point and click adventure for the Nintendo DS. All the objects are hand drawn with pencils and the animations aren't smooth but that's the point and they just look great. Almost like I'm looking over the artist's shoulder as he sketches out the scenes for the first time.
32 - A man's voice is describing the current situation. Humans have discovered an ancient starship on a nearby planet and on the ship was a galactic map etched on a stone. The map points the clans across the inner rim to another planet, which the broken clans can only determine to be their origin, home, Hiigara.

33 - The voice continues saying the battling clans have united together and found a common goal of returning to their home planet. They begin engineering a space fleet and their greatest mind directly into the ships. Man, I love this art style, it's really detailed, a lot more detailed than Hotel Dusk which I mentioned.

34 - The fleet leaves their current home planet and we switch graphical styles to Homeworld's in-game engine and we get a great look at a what must be its mothership. It's a tall command ship and there are a few other smaller ships buzzing around it. A computerized female voice starts reporting diagnostics.
35 - This scene is directed beautifully. We follow a small ship swing around the mothership and dock. There are closeups of the thrusters and antennas, great stuff. This is one of those games though that could really use some bump and normal mapping to make the textures jump out a bit more. Everything looks a bit polygonal and flat.

36 - A small group of ships breaks away from the mothership and starts leading the way. The game seamlessly switches to give me control.

37 - Already this is quite different than training. The game gives me some objectives but obviously no tips. I begin building a research ship, begin harvesting, and need to take out some drones.
39 - I'm told to begin researching a fighter chassis so I give my research ship the instructions. The game keeps going widescreen to give me objectives and show me things. It's a cool, cinematic effect that typically works on me. The voiceovers are a little monotone but that's the military for you.

41 - Next up I give the order for my scouts to use aggressive tactics and take out some more drones.

42 - My next objective is to build a Salvage Corvette and capture a drone. Interesting.
43 - Fighter chassis research is done so now I can build Interceptors.

45 - Ha, cool! The salvage corvette I just built just cruises up to some space junk and magnetically grabs it.

47 - The camera follows the corvette dragging the junk back to the mothership, and then the game tells me it is ready to go into hyperspace! I can launch whenever I'm ready... but I don't know how to go!
49 - I instruct all my ships to dock with the mothership, maybe they all have to be in the house before we pack up and move?

50 - Oh, I was right, you do have to dock all your ships but you also have to enter the Session Manager and click the Hyperspace button. Obvious. The ships begin auto-docking.

51 - WOAH! Hyperspace is cool! Instead of zooming ahead a 2D blue plane begins crossing across the ships slicing them in half almost. They've jumped!
52 - A short, hand drawn cutscene telling me that my mothership has jumped to meet with Khar-Selim, another ship that has been going at normal, sub-light speeds for the last 10 years! This all seems very Ender's Game like. All we need is an ansible.

53 - All my ships undock and I get a message that the Quantum Wave Effect has dissipated! Phew! Not all good news though, we have mis-jumped and have to locate the Khar-Selim.

55 - I send a scout to the location of the beacon. Hopefully we get lucky.
56 - Oh snaps! A cutscene begins as we approach the beacon. The camera pans over what's left of the Khar-Selim. Not good.

57 - Also not good is a fleet of ships heading towards the mothership! The female computer (the super plugged-in engineer mind) seems surprised that they're attacking! I get control right back. Time to fight back!

59 - The enemy fighters are going down pretty easily, but they also have some larger ships that are attacking my mothership and salvage corvette. I try to concentrate on one ship at a time though.
60 - Nice! My seven fighters were able to take out the attacking force while suffering four casualties. But who were these guys? I guess I'll never know since the first hour of Homeworld is up.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 6
Well, I am kind of into the background of Homeworld, but there just seems to be things missing. The story begins with a civilization finding out where their origins lie, so they build a fleet to cross the galaxy and return home. But what's the motivation behind doing this? Was it an excuse to stop the clans from fighting and unite together? Is there an important reason to find home besides just going there? Think Battlestar Galactica where the surviving fleet has to find Earth, but they're being chased and hunted by the Cylons. I can see why they would want to find their Eden but I think they could have used a little more motivation. Plus when I get attacked during the second mission, I have no idea why it's happening. I'm sure I eventually find out, but that's the problem of only playing the first hour.

Graphics and Sound: 9
There have been quite a few technological leaps since Homeworld was released, probably the most notable is bump mapping, something that would have really enhanced the look of the textures on the ships. Without it, the ships appear very flat and fake. But of course, this wasn't readily available at the time on home PCs and the game still looks really good. It helps when you don't have to render detailed environments and can instead focus on the spaceships, and Homeworld takes huge advantage of this. The ships are textured well and you can zoom in really close, something Sins of a Solar Empire, a recently released 3D space real-time strategy, heavily advertised.

The sound that I heard from Homeworld was a little weaker than I expected. The voice acting felt flat but the writing behind it was good. There was some decent chatter between ships that helped clue me in on things. The music had a great ambient sound to it that didn't try to stand out and the sound effects went against all rules of space. But I prefer lasers making sound and small sounding explosions as opposed to nothing. It can really enhance the gameplay.

Gameplay: 8
Well, the training in Homeworld was totally necessary and I'm very glad I did it. The controls are kind of complex as you have keyboard commands, right click menus, and the bottom pop-up menu. Plus you need to have good command over the control, shift, and alt combos. It's the game's biggest hurdle but nothing experienced PC gamers will have problems with. The 3D space adds a new dimension (pun) to real-time strategy games and I think it works well. It's a little tough to manage all your ships at once and I wish there was a way to highlight them better against the blackness of space. It almost seems like things would work better by turning off all the background stars so you can just focus on the battle, but that would take away from the game's graphical appeal. Anyways, this game definitely has a long learning curve and the first hour of Homeworld does a great job starting you off on it.

Fun Factor: 8
Best part of playing Homeworld was watching your ships fly around in formation and attack other ships. It's truly an excellent cinematic experience that you have total control over. The game's pacing is really good which is impressive for a space-based game. The universe is large but it doesn't take too long to get from point A to point B. Once I got to the main game and was being assigned objectives I was really having some fun. There seems to be a great story driving the levels, I just wish I had more time to experience it. But the training is pretty much necessary for new players to the game so there's only about half an hour to get into it.

Minutes to Action: 20

Overall: 8
Don't take the 20 minutes to action too out of context, that was my first combat experience in the game but there was still plenty of things going on before that. Anyways, Homeworld's first hour is really good. I was impressed by its graphical engine and its flexible camera that simply works out of the box. I wish the story had gone a little deeper in the first hour, but the groundwork is there for a good one. As far as the gameplay goes, there's a tough learning curve but I believe there are great rewards hiding within that too. Homeworld is a great evolution from a game like Star Control II, though this game is much more story-driven. I love space operas, and I've added this one to my long list of games to play.

Art by Colin Clark - used with permission.

Game 34: The Haunting Starring Polterguy

2008-03-10T16:30:00.001-05:00

The Haunting Starring Polterguy is a 1993 Sega Genesis game all about scaring a rich family out of their snazzy home any way possible. This is a pretty obscure game and the only way I know anything about it is from my deep past where I used to read any video game magazine I could get my hands on. One of them was Game Players, and in one of those issues lies a review for The Haunting. I have no idea what score it got but it stuck in my mind as "this game sounds cool and someday I would like to play it." Well, that someday has finally arrived 15 years later, and it's pretty much as cool as I vaguely remembered wanting it to be.

I really don't know anything else about this game, except that it is probably the goriest 16-bit game I have ever played. There are severed heads, tons of blood, and lots of other crazy stuff that kept surprising me. Just check out the screenshots below and you'll see what I'm talking about. On that note, let's get right into the review.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I press the Start button and the first hour begins. A cutscene begins showing off a family moving into their "snazzy new home." Whoever is narrating (text at top) has a surprise for them!
01 - Now we're looking inside their house from a Sims-style isometric view. The wall of the house if cutout to show the inside. Polterguy introduces himself as the "green dude hangin' on the left." The woman in the room with me is Flo Sardini. I guess she can't she the green zombie guy in the room.

02 - Haha, Polterguy looks like he's on rollerskates the way he's moving his legs while just standing there, and he just did a few laps around Flo to boot. Polterguy moves around the room and shows me "fright 'ems" which he uses the scare the family. Fright 'ems show up as glowing orbs on nearly every object he approaches. For the record, this is still the intro, I'm not controlling anything.

04 - Pressing the A button makes Polterguy dive into a fright 'em and A again has him jump out, this triggers the object. Haha, the demo has him jumping in and out of objects making them quiver, Flo walks over and gets scared as they transform into something crazy!
05 - These character animations are really good, well detailed and they seem quite varied. Flo runs out of the room screaming and some green goop appears on the floor. Polterguy has to collect that for whatever reason.

06 - Now it's a scene of the Sardini family eating, the kids are throwing food at each other. Awesome! The chandelier just fell from the ceiling freaking everyone out!

07 - I now have control over Polterguy, sweet. I'm in the family room and my first target is the father. I jump in and out of the dartboard. As he approaches it, the board turns into a blood dripping eyeball! Nasty! Next the armchair starts licking him. Vito Sardini's fear level begins to rise.
09 - Wow, this game is pretty creative. I turn Polterguy into a small rocking chair and start chasing Vito around the room! His fear level is so high he just runs right out of there!

10 - There's a green bar that is continually depleted, I guess I have to scare the family and collect the ecto goo balls to keep it up. The ecto is only released after the family member runs from the room. Pressing the Start button brings up a map of the house and shows where the family members are.

12 - Next up I find the son, Tony and begin freaking him out. He has a Ninja poster on his wall and that's my first object of manipulation. Oh man, this kid screams like a little girl! He also has quite a few things to take over in this room such as a model plane and a skull in his drawer. They certainly freak him out good. Though the plane crashed and I think Polterguy lost a bit of health.
14 - Tony runs out of his bedroom in horror and I collect the ecto. On the map it looks like I'll be harassing the daughter, Mimi next.

15 - Well, after a minute of torturing her with oversized ballerina dolls and moving teddy bears, Polterguy's health runs out and I'm in a brand new place. It's somewhere underground, poltergeist hell maybe? Guess it is called the Dungeon. Anyways, I have to collect ecto drops to continue. They're just dripping from the ceiling.

17 - Geez, I have to collect every drop in linear order or else an arrow will tell me to go back, and there are a lot of drops and a lot of things that want to kill me down here. Hairy arms trying to grab me from the walls, bursts of steam from the ground, and bats that escape from coffins. Nothing too horrifying, not like in the house...
19 - After collecting all the drops, Polterguy starts breakdancing. Hilarious. I'm back in Mimi's room now with a full health bar. Well, she just ran out. I'm not really sure what my end goal is? To scare everyone in the house at the same time? Not really sure. Time for some Flo action.

20 - I find the mom in the kitchen, should have some fun in here... Well, I just chased her out of there in record time. Polterguy jumped in the freezer and for whatever reason turned into a black cat and chased her from the room. I follow her into the lounge.

22 - Woah! Mama Flo got so scared her dress fell down revealing her 16-bit black panties. That was a frightening moment for me! There seem to be three colors of orbs that designate different types of objects. Blue orbs attract the person over and scare them when they approach, orange orbs don't attract the person so you have to time it when they're nearby, and green orbs are flying objects that you can chase them around the room with.
24 - Flo ran out and checking the map, Vito looks seriously not scared right now, time for some more action with him.

25 - Just scared Vito with some orange orb swamp monster, good timing by the Polterguy! Vito runs out of the room in supreme horror. Tony is nearby and looking calm...

27 - After frightening Tony kind of lamely, he runs out of the front door and has disappeared from the map! Is he really gone?
28 - I scare Mimi in the living room and have barely half of my life left. I think I'll keep chasing Mimi and maybe end up banishing her from the house?

31 - Awesome, after chasing Mimi around through a bunch of rooms, I have kicked her out of the house! But now I'm getting chased by a floating green head, and it hurts me when it touches me (that didn't sound that good...).

32 - Mama Flor was back in the lounge and it was time to banish her for good! A few timely orange orbs has me sending her out the back door in a jiffy. Only Vito is left, but my green ecto bar is nearly out.
34 - Vito is in the kitchen and there was a pretty gruesome scene where I inhabited a chopping block and a severed head appeared dripping with blood! This caused Vito to literally jump out of his clothing.

35 - Oh man, I think I scared Vito enough to get him out of the room, but I ran out of life and am back in the dungeon. Now I'm getting a bunch of skulls chucked at me! But a moment later I'm break dancing with the best of them.

37 - Back in action with full life and Vito the only one left in the house. Crap, the loser just ran back into the kitchen where he was before. I also forgot to grab the ecto balls in the room I scared him in, whoops.
39 - Ah, there goes Vito out the back door and Polterguy does one last break dance for the heck of it. Polterguy taunts the family as they run out saying "I'm right behind your sorry butts!"

40 - Some rock riffs start playing and we see some art of Polterguy proclaiming his victory over those slimeballs. Haha, he just said that they dissed him. That's classic.

41 - Nice, another cutscene plays showing the family moving into their new home! Awesome! But I'm back in the underground world to collect ecto, not so awesome.
43 - The Dungeon is a lot harder this time, I get beat up quite a bit, but I don't die. Never! Well, now that that's over with, looks like I'm in the Sardini's brand new house now. The layout looks different but it's still all the same concept. Ah, Mimi is in the same room as me! Haha! She just wet herself!

45 - What the... looks like a dog just walked through the room. Dogs usually detect ghosts, don't they? Well, he made it through harmlessly.

47 - I'm going to continue hounding Mimi, her snide looks annoy me. I create a Grim Reaper apparition in the doorway, that freaks her out to the max, but then the dog wanders in and her fear goes back down to high. Stupid mutt. Okay, she keeps running between the same rooms, so I'm going to target Vito now.
49 - Well, this game is getting kind of monotonous now. Scaring people over and over is interesting, but the animations are certainly repeating themselves. Though Vito did just lose his pants, good stuff.

50 - Speaking of monotony, I just lost all of my ecto bar and I'm back in the Dungeon.

52 - Geez, I have basically no health left down here. If I end up down here again I'm going to die for sure.

53 - That green head and the dog are chasing me now. But I'm chasing Vito... Ooh, he's in the bathroom now, I've never scared anyone in here.
55 - Now Vito is just running between the same rooms over and over. Lame.

57 - Tony gets so frightened he does the classic Exorcist head spin and careens out of his bedroom. Tony has left the building!

59 - Oh crap, my health bar is gone and I'm sent down under...

60 - It doesn't take long for me to lose what's left of my life. Polterguy wonders why the dungeon was trying to kill me when he was just trying to get some ecto, but that's that and the credits start to roll. The Haunting's first hour is complete. My high score was 32,271.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 2
Okay, what bothers me about The Haunting is that we have Polterguy, a poltergeist who is for whatever reason ticked off at this family and wants to cause them as much trouble as possible. The Sardini family may be rich but there doesn't appear to be any motive behind Polterguy's antics. Once again, maybe this is the case of the mysterious instruction manual story similar to Turok, but maybe a short flashback showing the family somehow causing the death of Polterguy would have helped. Also, what is the Dungeon and why does Polterguy get sent there? And what are these floating green heads doing chasing me? Man, there sure are a lot of questions!

Graphics and Sound: 8
I saw a few screenshots for this game and wasn't really impressed, but I was super impressed by this game after seeing it in action. The isometric view works perfectly for the gameplay and the sprite animations were simply great. There are only five characters but there is a lot of variety in terms of movement, reactions, and responses. All the objects morph smoothly into their evil counterpart and I was constantly smiling at all the surprises this game had for me. There is so much original content in The Haunting, great stuff. As for the sound, none of the music stood out but the sound effects were pretty good. The family's screams were quite memorable and the objects sounded real. I feel like the game could have used some voice acting though, plenty of Super Nintendo games did at the time but I'm not familiar enough with Genesis games to know if it was really possible for them.

Gameplay: 7
What The Haunting has going for it is some great original gameplay that I've really never seen anywhere else. Jumping into objects to make them come alive and scare people is simply awesome. I'm trying to think of games that have ever even come close to what The Haunting does and the only one that comes to mind is Mister Mosquito, a game where you play as a mosquito terrorizing a family in their house by sucking their blood. Anyways, like I mentioned near the beginning, Polterguy controls like he's on rollerskates and that just doesn't feel right. Picking up ecto goo is inconsistent and the whole Dungeon sequence just plain sucks. It totally removes you from the real fun and I'm not sure what the point of that was.

Fun Factor: 8
The Haunting is simply a fun game for the one hour I played it, though I honestly don't think the fun would last much longer. This is a problem for these arcadey games, the first hour is typically pretty fun but sessions that last longer than that can grow to be really repetitive. I was starting to feel that repetitiveness kick in at around the 50 minute mark and was ready for the hour to end. But what I played was original and very fun. There are a ton of objects to mess around with in the game and the family's reactions are classic. Great stuff.

Minutes to Action: 7

Overall: 8
This game really surprised me, I was thinking going in that this would be another bomb like the last few weeks, but The Haunting's first hour gave me a solid game. There's a short tutorial at the beginning that pretty much told me everything I needed to know, though an explanation on the orb colors would have been helpful. The Dungeon sequence was pretty bad and seemingly unnecessary, and pretty much the only blemish on this game. This is a unique and quirky experience that I would recommend checking out, even if it's just for an hour.

Polterguy is green but his nose is quite Caucasian.

Game 33: The Lion King

2008-03-03T16:30:00.001-06:00

The Lion King was the video game released to accompany the Disney movie of the same name. Games based on movies were nothing new in 1994, especially Disney tie-ins, but this is actually my first movie game review. It was released on literally every platform available at the time, including three Nintendo (NES, SNES, and Game Boy) systems and three Sega (Master System, Genesis, and Game Gear) systems, undoubtedly a feat unequaled by any other game.

Really the only reason I'm reviewing The Lion King is because of the saying: "March comes in like a lion, out like a lamb." If you're unfamiliar with the adage, it basically means March will open up with bad weather and end calmly with Spring fast approaching. Here in the upper-Midwest though, lots of snow typically begins and ends the month. Where's our lamb? Back to the review though, here's March roaring in, now I have four weeks to find a game about lambs... could be tough. Anyways, let's get right into the first hour of The Lion King (Super Nintendo version).

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I choose Start and The Lion King begins. That meerkat Timon appears and says "It starts." Wow, right into the game! Simba moves pretty quick, he's an aggressive little cat. All I can do though is jump and roar, no slashing... yet.
01 - So I'm just jumping around some rocks right now, Simba can hang off ledges and roar to flip porcupines. Then I can jump on their bare belly to kill them.

02 - Woah, I just roared and exploded a dung beetle! I'm down to half my life already!

03 - I jump on a beetle this time and he flies around for a moment and then explodes. Almost dead... until I find a yellow beetle health item.
04 - Just grabbed a red beetle which extends my life a bit, nice. Then I find a symbol that kind of looks like Simba, he yells "cool" and it flashes, but I can't tell if anything actually happened.

05 - Geez, there is a whole assortment of items I'm finding, one extended my roar bar, and another one... not sure what it did, but it was multi-colored.

06 - Boss! I just defeated one of those hyenas from the movies! He went down in only two hits though. He would pounce at me and then become tired and start panting so I could jump on him. A short cutscene plays with Simba's dad, Mufasa saying, "everything the light touches, is our kingdom." Man, this guy has a big ego.
07 - Oh hey, a minigame. I'm controlling Pumbaa as Timon throws bugs down at me. Against all laws of gravity, some bugs fall really slow while others are quick. I end up eating 36 bugs.

08 - I am now in a level called either "Roar at the Monkeys" or "Can't Wait to be King." Probably the latter. There don't seem to be any enemies in this level, just rhinoceros that spring me into the air, monkeys that throw me around, and giraffes that I can use as temporary platforms.

10 - This is almost kind of a puzzle as I have to roar at the pink monkeys to get them to face a different direction so when they toss me I fly in the correct direction. After that sequence I land on an ostrich and it starts belting across the plains. I have to jump over pigs and duck bird nests, all of a sudden two arrows appear... and I die because I didn't jump high enough, or double jump or something. I only have one life left!
12 - Now I just fell in the water and die again. Crap, no lives left. Hardcore. I'm back on the ostrich now, I can "double jump" by jumping with the ostrich and then jumping again with Simba.

13 - You have got to be kidding me. I double jumped too high when I needed to and hit my head on a bird's nest. Lame. Wow, I used my only remaining continue.

14 - Back on the ostrich and I died on the first jump because I jumped too early. Now I fell in the water again.
15 - Fell in... again. Game Over. The old monkey with the balls hanging off his stick looks sad.

16 - Well, looks like I have to start all over again. I'll be back when I get past that ostrich sequence.

19 - Just "played" the bug toss. Timon screwed me over by tossing bugs at opposite ends. I caught one.

21 - Died on the double jump again.
22 - And again. Did anyone seriously playtest this game?

24 - Holy cow, I made it past the freaking ostrich part. What the heck, that pissed me off so much. How was I supposed to know you had to do your second jump really late. Who knows.

25 - This part seems almost worse. I have to swing around on these hippopotamus tails over some water. This is extremely unforgiving.

26 - Hey, a 1UP. That will come in handy. Meh. Now I have no idea where to jump to next! There are no more tails! And I can see that there is another ostrich sequence after this.
29 - Wow, I had to jump like straight up onto a hippo's head, that was clear. Not. I did collect some kind of sun item though, maybe that's a free continue.

30 - Another ostrich run, and this time I don't have arrows telling me what to do. Somehow I pulled off two double jumps in a row without dying.

31 - Another monkey tossing "puzzle."

33 - In one of gaming's most unclear moments ever, I had to get tossed from the first monkey puzzle to the second, flip a pink monkey switch, then cross back over the water on some water colored logs, then do the puzzle again. Why did the art team paint the logs the same color as the water?
34 - Wow, done with that and straight into the next level, "The Elephant Graveyard." Looks creepy. Good music though.

35 - Woah, something about fighting two hyenas at once seems unfair, but I do it with little health to spare. I just ate a bug that hurt me, seriously guys. Piss me off more.

38 - Now I've got two vultures swooping at me, I don't even know if I can hurt them.

39 - Simba has to out climb two gushing geysers as he claws his way to the top of a vertical tunnel.
41 - Now I'm just outrunning enemies as there's no point to stay and fight except to lose health. This is an unforgiving game. Simba was forced to just face off with three hyenas there though.

42 - As I finish the level we get a look at Scar, Simba's evil uncle. Another bug toss, another screw over served by Timon.

43 - Holy Mode 7 Graphics! Simba is running at the screen with a stampede behind him. I have to anticipate their patterns and speed dodging them. This could be really tough.

44 - Now there are rocks coming at me! So I've got wildebeest behind me and deadly rocks in front of me. Sucky life for Simba.
46 - Oh man, my heart is racing but I beat it. A short cutscene has Mufasa telling a hyena, "kill him." The next level is called "Simba's Exile."

47 - This level is laid out similar to the first level with the same basic enemies, but now there are rocks tumbling down on me too.

48 - Geez, I just got killed in an Indiana Jones style boulder rolling sequence. I seriously don't know how to even handle this part because I'm running from the boulder and there's a porcupine right in front of me and it doesn't look like I can jump.

50 - The moment you get hit by the boulder, you die. It seems you have to get hurt by the porcupine and during your invincibility run through him?
51 - Just tested that theory and it doesn't work. Hey, I just accidentally rolled through what appears to be a hidden passage that led me past that boulder. Odd. But now there's another boulder chasing me, and I die.

54 - Now I can't find that secret passage again. LAME.

57 - Who does this game think it is? How are kids supposed to play this? How is anyone supposed to play this? This part is literally impossible as far as I can tell.
58 - Maybe this boulder is the final boss?

59 - Does roaring at the boulder work? No. Woah, I made it through the rolling passage again. I guess there's this secret rolling technique that the game doesn't feel like explaining.

60 - My final challenge is an impossibly long jump over spikes. I wonder where I have to secretly roll this time? Good riddance to the first hour of The Lion King.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 3
Being a movie based game, The Lion King relies heavily on familiarity with the film to drive the story. There was about 30 seconds of in-game story with everything else being delivered through the levels and their settings. A bad story score doesn't necessarily mean that the story is bad, and I'm actually kind of torn on whether or not I would have wanted more. Honestly, probably not. Most people playing The Lion King have seen the movie and know the basics: Simba is a light-hearted cub, his evil uncle kills his father and drives Simba out so that he can become king. There's more information than you'll get out of the game. Maybe the story is developed more later on, but I doubt it.

Graphics and Sound: 8
The Lion King honestly looks and sounds just like a Disney game should: just like the Disney movie. The music is midi versions of the original soundtrack and are well chosen for the levels I played. We have the carefree "Can't Wait to be King" playing over the enemy-less (but still incredibly hard) level of the same name, and the dark, bass driven Scar themes playing during the later stages I encountered. The sound effects work and there's even a little voice acting with some one-liners. The graphics really shine though, the levels are colorful and the sprites are really well detailed. The animation is superb, my only complaint is the Mode 7 stampede level. In my opinion, Mode 7 graphics were way overused on the Super Nintendo and The Lion King is no exception; the level simply feels out of place among the platformers and really doesn't look that good.

Gameplay: 4
The game may have had Disney artists to provide the sprites and animations, but The Lion King could have used some extra work on the gameplay. A lot of extra work. Pretty much everything I played in its first hour except for the first level was unbalanced, difficult, and dare I say, unfair. Some of the jumps necessary were insane, especially in the second level. It is really not easy to swing from hippopotamus tails to avoid death. The ostrich running sequence astounded me with how difficult and frustrating this could be. I kept thinking that this is supposed to be a kid's game but yet they're punishing me for not getting the timing down perfectly. Plus if you mess up, that's another ten giraffe heads you have to hop around on.

The stampede level didn't bother me too much, though the hit detection was rather poor. The real gameplay killer was the last level I played with the constantly falling boulders and the impossible boulder sequence. It still ticks me off and I've put the game away forever. The Lion King seems only suitable for incredibly patient, perfect memory ten year olds who will put up with have so few lives and even fewer continues. On the bright side, Simba did control pretty well when not jumping over water or being chased by boulders. It really could have been a lot worse and my distant memory of the game made me think it was.

Fun Factor: 3
I did have fun the first level, but after that I really didn't care for the game. The second level was deceptively difficult with the ostrich run and all the small platforms you had to hop around on. Basically this entire game was too hard for its own good and really ruined it for me. I just wanted to have fun and enjoy the levels and characters, but all I really could enjoy were the excellent animations. Disney games should be as fun as the movie they're made for, The Lion King fails at that.

Minutes to Action: 0

Overall: 4
After playing just the first level of The Lion King, I believe I would have given this game a pretty good score, probably around 7 or even 8. But I review the entire first hour, not just the first ten minutes, and the rest of the hour is below average. The gameplay was disappointing and the only thing that saves it from total crap was the really good graphics and sound. I'm sure this won't be my last Disney game review as I have some fond memories of games like DuckTales and Goof Troop. But that's it for my review of The Lion King's first hour. March has come in like a lion all right, I was just dumped on.

Game 32: Turok: Dinosaur Hunter

2008-02-25T16:30:00.001-06:00

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter was the first first-person shooter on the Nintendo 64 and the start of a series that is known for its ups and downs. The game is about Turok, a Native American who is sent through time to save the world and is loosely based on a comic book series of the same name. If you think this sounds a little like Prey, and you might not be too far off in some terms (interestingly enough, these games actually started development around the same time, except Turok was released in 1997 and Prey was released in 2006...). Since Turok was released on the Nintendo 64 before Goldeneye 007, there wasn't much to compare it to except for PC shooters, so reviewers at the time absolutely loved it. I can't say I'm quite as much of a fan, however.

A few weeks ago, a new Turok game was released on the PC and newer consoles, simply called Turok. This is the first new game in the series in almost six years, but after a little reading, it appears it has nothing to do with the original games. Maybe that's a good thing, but let's take a look at the first hour of Turok's foray into video games.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select Start Game and the hour begins. Looks like the game is starting already! My first task is to locate the hub ruins and use the keys (sigh) to open level portals. Holy crap the controls are awkward right away.
01 - The controls are basically reversed from the standard Halo setup we have today. Moving is assigned to the C-Buttons (basically the N64's right joystick) and looking to the left joystick.

02 - I'm having a ton of trouble with these controls, everything is so awkward. And there's a ton of fog! I'm going to take a minute and see if I can configure things.

04 - Well, I think I have found the solution: change the controls to "left-handed." I'm not left-handed, but now I get to use the D-Pad to move and the C-Buttons to look aroun. I head up the first walkway and climb my first ladder. My first enemy is right in front of me, time to die by bow and arrow!

05 - I find the level 2 key and Turok proceeds to eat it or something. Odd animation. Oh man, five more keys to find in this level.
06 - You know what's nice (besides double jump), overlay maps. And this game actually offers one! That's awesome and something you never see anymore. I find a pistol and kill another guy with it. Who are these bad guys and why are they trying to kill me? No answer so far.

07 - There's no aiming reticule and the aiming is really jumpy, making it pretty difficult to figure out what you're shooting at. Woah! A velociraptor just charged me!

08 - One guy just started lobbing grenades at me, jerk. I kill him easily and take his one remaining explosive.

09 - Some idiot jumped me from around a corner with his shotgun. I killed him but only picked up shotgun shells! I watched his body disappear with my favorite first-person shooter weapon!
10 - So after I kill another bad guy, a mysterious blue portal appears and I jump through. Hey, a shotgun! I'm inside a cave now. Oh no, a jumping puzzle! I die right away, but the game just zaps me back to the cave opening. Not bad. Then I die on the second jump. Then the first again.

12 - The game decides to be funny and place a guy tossing grenades at me in the middle of my jumping concentration. CRAP! I FELL!

14 - For whatever reason, it is so hard to determine distance while jumping, not to mention the controls are really sensitive.
15 - Lots of nasty clipping and seeing through walls going on. Wow, I made it through. And the game dumps me off exactly where I went through the portal. All this for a shotgun?

17 - You know, if you turn on the overlay map, you get an aiming reticule represented by where Turok's body is located on the map. Unintentional I think, but helpful none the less. Wow, a checkpoint! They had those back then?

18 - While running around I'm also collecting these orange triangles, no idea what they're for. Maybe an extra life at 100? I think the game wants me to jump through the air and collect a floating rifle. Nah. A raptor goes down in two shotgun shells in front of me.

20 - Woah, then I kill another raptor and one materializes in front of me in a shaft of white light. What the heck?
21 - Oh man, another jumping puzzle. One of these jumps involves me jumping like four feet forward and four feet up, this is one crazy Native American.

23 - Dang, I fell in the water below. I can still run around down here though. No idea how to get up... Oh, there's a different wall texture that I can climb, thanks game, you're so obvious sometimes!

26 - I finally make it through this jumping sequence and reach a checkpoint. Oh man, I make it to the top of a wall (after much Turok grunting) and I encounter a giant beast neither man nor dinosaur! Thankfully though, the game gives me some Tek-Arrows, and I fire them into the monster's stomach. He goes down in three exploding bolts.
28 - After killing a man and a raptor, I see another blue portal. As I'm running towards it, the portal just ups and disappears! Argh! Then to add insult to injury a raptor materializes!

29 - Yay... more jumping. Have I mentioned that the fog is absolutely atrocious in this game?

30 - I reach a save point, but since I don't have one of those N64 Memory Card Paks I can't save my game! Oh man, this time I fell and actually lost a life. Now I only have one left. This could suck. I was resurrected at the save point though and Turok spun around in crazy ragdoll fashion as he floated back to earth. Then he shouted, "I am Turok!" Pretty funny actually.
32 - Oh my... a jumping puzzle with lava. I hate myself. I fall in but luckily Turok just loses a few health instead of dying like most crappy video game heroes would. Sometimes the platforms you need to jump on disappear from the overlay map mid-jump, making it really difficult to land them. Seriously, this game is out to get me.

34 - Ha, I just killed a raptor and he sputtered around on the ground in pain. I'm getting shot and I can't see the guy. I think he's hiding in the fog.

36 - Crap, I just fell down into the water below. And the game is deciding not to fill the overlay map out for me either down here. I'm pretty sure I'm just running in a circle looking for that magical climbing texture.
38 - Another one of those golem monsters appears. Jerk. Then I find another key. Four more to go. Double jerk. I enter a cave and some kind of leaper dinosaur attacks me, but he goes down in one shot of my pistol. I'm not even going to bother to shoot at them anymore, they only do two damage.

41 - Haha, I'm about to jump down into a layer of fog, it looks really funny and totally corny.

42 - This is honestly one of the ugliest games I have ever played. A cool thing just happened though, I shotgunned a man in his shoulder and blood started spurting out of there as he stood there and died. Sweet.
44 - I have no idea where I am or where I'm supposed to be going right now. I'm basically just in a huge open field with bad guys materializing out of the fog. Oh look, some platforms. I wonder if I'll have to jump on them?

47 - Wow, I made it to the end of this jumping puzzle kind of quickly. Turok sucks at jumping. I hate Turok. Now I'm getting attacked by a horde of giant black beetles. And they're not even killed in one pistol shot. I just ignore them.

49 - Nooo! Another cave with leapers. More enemies to ignore! I enter the first portal I discover some kind of maze of pillars. This is really messed up. Why don't overlay maps work in mazes by the way?
51 - Umm... I just found something called a Chronoscepter piece, probably important but the game isn't going to bother informing me anything else. And then I found a dead end. Hey, I'm on a roll, a Level 3 key!

53 - Well, I escape from the maze and I think I just found a new texture! That puts the count at four.

54 - These bad guys run around like the ground was recently waxed and they're wearing socks. They're slipping all over the place! That doesn't make any sense!

56 - I'm honestly getting sick of playing this game. How did I ever put up with it when I was younger? Hey, an extra life. Not very useful now.
58 - I can see a portal but I have no idea how to get to it. I think I'm stuck. WHAT THE HECK?! Another blue portal appeared and as I was about to enter it, the stupid thing disappeared! I hate my life.

60 - Time's up! I'm not even going to play the last full minute. Thanks game for screwing me over at the end!

Well, time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 0
There is no story to Turok: Dinosaur Hunter. Well, according to Wikipedia, Turok, the time-traveling warrior, must stop The Campaigner, an evil cyborg, from conquering the Lost Land and possibly the universe. They're lucky they didn't include that in the game because I would have given them negative points then.

Graphics and Sound: 4
Ugh, absolutely atrocious graphics in Turok. I know this was in 1997 on the Nintendo 64, but Mario didn't have a dense layer of fog three feet in front of him! There are literally like five textures in the whole game and they're all butt ugly. Browns and greens seem to be the palette of choice for the art team. The characters are actually okay looking. I think it's a plus when I can immediately tell the difference between a raptor and a man. The sound is pretty good though, there's a light jungle beat playing the entire time and it's in the background enough that it doesn't become obnoxious. There's tons of animal cries playing and the weapons sound moderately correct. I honestly can't fault the sound design much.

Gameplay: 3
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter has not aged well gameplay wise. The controls are completely reversed compared to what we use today and jumping puzzles in first-person shooters hopefully went out of style with the dinosaurs. I can't really fault them for the controls though because that setup feels okay on the N64 controller, but the focus on jumping is pretty inexcusable. Luckily the punishment for falling isn't that bad usually, but I still lost probably 10-15 minutes on just these jumping sequences. The actual combat gameplay is okay, the controls are pretty sensitive (even after turning them down) to make it really fun. The weapons are of standard variety, except for the bow and arrow. Interestingly enough, the game was pretty lenient in hit detection for the bad guys, you could shoot pretty far to the left or right and still kill them in one hit. One last thing, the overlay map was a Godsend, it was typically very useful and filled out as you explored helping you determine what you still need to check out.

Fun Factor: 3
Turok was sub-average fun. Comparing it to a game like Okami though where the first half hour is just text, Turok seems amazing that the game just starts right out without any introduction. Start game becomes shooting raptors within just a minute. This was pretty typical for first-person shooters of the day though. The jumping was extremely frustrating but other than that, I don't have a lot of complaints. Turok: Dinosaur Hunter just didn't do anything that made me smile, other than blood spurting out of that guy's shoulder as he struggled to stand. And that raptor struggling on the ground for his last breaths. Those were pretty cool moments.

Minutes to Action: 0

Overall: 3
This is not the Turok I remember playing over 10 years ago, but times have changed a lot since then and Turok: Dinosaur Hunter is definitely a casualty of that change. At least the game doesn't mess around and try to fabricate some insane story (well, it does but it is limited to the instruction booklet). Turok just gets down to business of killing bad men, dinosaurs, deer, and black beetles. This doesn't necessarily make for a good game though as there are way too many problems that greatly outweigh the few neat ideas the game has. Not exactly inspiring me to play the new one. Goodbye to the first hour of Turok, I do not believe we will ever visit each other ever again.

Yes, that's Turok standing on a car shooting velociraptors with a bow and arrow.

Game 31: Suikoden II

2008-02-18T16:30:00.003-06:00

Suikoden II is a rare PlayStation RPG that can fetch some pretty ridiculous prices on eBay, with sealed copies climbing over $200. Expensive doesn't necessarily mean the game is any good though, as I've seen friends pay many bills for mediocre games that triggered the nostalgia portion of their brain. Either way, Suikoden II is a Konami developed role-playing game on a Squaresoft dominated system and thus never saw sales for this odd sounding game that came close to most other games. The Suikoden series is still being developed by Konami but many fans consider this as the best in the series.

The game itself features an interesting political storyline with highly memorable characters. This description reminds me of Final Fantasy XII, but the difference between the two games is that in Final Fantasy XII the characters seemed far removed from the political scheming where in Suikoden II our heroes are right in the mix of things. The battle system is unique in that your team of fighters consists of six characters in turn-based combat. There are also 108 total characters you can recruit to your cause, a number that seems way too high but is actually manageable and keeps the game entertaining. When not in use, all your recruits hang out in an ever-expanding castle that also serves as your home base.

This is all extra information mostly non-applicable to just the first hour of gameplay, but I consider myself a Suikoden II evangelist and will take any opportunity to push it to the masses. Now let's get started with the first hour of Suikoden II.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select New Game and the hour begins. First things first, I need to name my main character. Greg, of course. I'm then asked if I want to load saved data from the first Suikoden, interesting, but not today. Our little guy flashes his nunchucks and we begin loading.
01 - We're overhead at a soldier's camp at night, a blonde haired fellow is walking around outside and enters a tent with Greg in it. His name is Jowy. It looks like Greg is one of those Silent Protagonists who never speaks and his words are implied throughout.

02 - The two talk for a bit, something about Greg's family and his sister Nanami and a dead Master Gengaku. I get the option to get some fresh air with Jowy and we head outside. Jowy joins my party, that was quick.

03 - I talk to the soldiers in the camp and they keep mentioning a peace agreement, some soldiers like it, others don't. What's up with these characters by the way, they're all super skinny and tall.

05 - We head north out of the camp. I can see a waterfall in the distant but it doesn't seem like I'm going to trigger a scene or anything.
06 - Whoops! Guess I entered the captain's tent and he's pissed that we're out of our uniforms. I head east from the campsite this time.

07 - I see a man hiding in the shadows but then he runs off, Jowy doesn't want me chasing him tonight, I guess we're going home tomorrow anyway.

08 - Time to hit the hay, we both crawl into our beds. Woah, I can hear men shouting. "Surprise attack!!!" Intense music starts playing.
09 - Jowy joins my party again. The camp is on fire! Captain Rowd runs up to us. The City-State has broken the peace agreement! He tells us to save ourselves and run east.

11 - Men are dying and injured all over. Before we run into the woods Jowy stops us, he says that the enemy must know this is the only way out and that there must be an ambush waiting. This kid has a good military mind. We head back to warn Captain Rowd.

12 - Oh no! Rowd has betrayed his own soldiers to Prince Luca! Man, that Luca guy looks evil!
13 - Jowy and I agree to run north, no where else to go.

14 - Rowd and some soldiers have followed us! Time for our first battle. The screen switches to a 3D like isometric battle. The characters are still sprites though and they look pretty good.

15 - I have the option to do a Unite attack with Jowy, that seems obvious like an obvious choice! Jowy and I circle our enemies in dramatic and lightning quick fashion and hit them all hard! The weak soldiers go down. Only Rowd left. Next I just attack individually, Rowd counters Greg but then Jowy defeats him. The battle animations are really slick and pretty nice looking.
16 - Jowy realizes we have to jump off the cliff into the water, I half-heartedly agree.

17 - Jowy and Greg make an X on the rock with their knives so that if they ever get separted they will return here to meet back up. We jump.

18 - The graphics switch to sepia tones so it must be a flashback. The opening credits start appearing slowly. Some kids are playing hopscotch. Could be Greg, Jowy, and maybe Nanami? Next it's three little bit older kids with an older man, maybe Master Gengaku?

19 - Then Greg and Jowy looking out over some plains followed by Greg and a girl at a grave. The next scene features Greg and Jowy performing some fancy battle moves against each other in front of a bunch of soldiers.
20 - Finally it is the march to war, Greg and Jowy included in the ranks. The flashback is over, and a dark-haired man starts talking. He says "this punk is a waste of time." That punk might be me.

21 - Greg wakes up surrounded by three men, Jowy is no where in sight. The man introduces himself as Viktor, and says he's my enemy! He's a mercenary and friend of the City-State of Jowston (which sounds suspiciously like Jowy). Another man enters, his name is Flik. Viktor and Flik argue for a minute.

23 - We all head back to their fort. Viktor shoves me in a room and locks the gate. Guess I'm a prisoner.
24 - A kid named Pohl walks up, time for breakfast, and then I have to work. My job is to push all the boxes against the wall... are you serious? What is this, Shenmue? Pohl demonstrates the difficulty involved. Oh, then I have to clean up some rope! Haha.

26 - With the room nice and tidy, I head out, but Pohl has the gall to check my work. Time for supper already after that "hard day's work"!

27 - Greg goes to town on his meal. The next day I have to run errands. Two pairs of boots, three flints, and two bags of flour.

29 - I run around collecting stuff from people, but the storeroom is out of flour!
31 - I'm exploring the base, pretty large place. Flik apologizes for not saving Jowy. I'm sure he's okay.

32 - Pohl tells me we'll have to go to Ryube village for the flour, but someone will have to escort me. Why not Pohl? Woah, my escort is Gengen, some kind of giant fox person! Creepy. He's a Kobold warrior. A little kid named Tuta wants to tag along too. Why not. Both Gengen and Tuta join my party.

35 - Gengen warns us about monsters, awesome. Woah, overhead map of the area! I have to head northeast. Hope I get into another battle.

36 - Well, Ryube village was about 10 steps away. There's some traveling performers setting up in town; Bolgan, Eilie, and Rina are there names. They have portraits and real names so they're probably important.
38 - We get the flour at the store, but before we go back Tuta wants to have some fun. I'm not sure where this "fun" is so I just head out of town and back to the base camp. Too bad I didn't get into any fights.

40 - I'm locked up again and fed. The next day my chore is to clean up oil spills around the building. Odd. I get down on my hands and knees and do the work though.

42 - I clean up about five spills and then it is dinner time again.

43 - The next day, an intruder has arrived, it's Jowy! Wow, he's come for me! Jowy joins the party, time to haul out of here.
44 - We run upstairs and encounter Flit, we're desperately outnumbered but Greg tries to bust through anyway, he's knocked on his rear end by Flik's sword hilt.

45 - Now we're in the war room with Flik and Viktor for an interrogation. Viktor doesn't think our army could have originally been ambushed by the City-State, so we tell them the truth about Luca. Luca Blight.

46 - Viktor isn't going to let us go home, so he locks us both up. Pohl comes and feeds us both. Jowy offers me his carrots, how sweet.

48 - It's nighttime now and Jowy is ready to bust out, he asks what I'm holding: flint, oily rag, and rope. The perfect escape combination! Jowy uses a spoon to open the cell door.
49 - Sweet, Jowy distracts the guards by lighting the oily rag on fire with the flint and chucking it across the room. We head out on the balcony, let the rope down and escape to safety.

50 - Jowy and Greg agree to head to Kyaro town, where Nanami will be waiting. I'm back on the world map but I have no idea where to go!

52 - We do battle with some CutRabbits, they're fluffy bunnies wielding axes! We both level up to level 3 with the win.

53 - I decide to head west. We get into a battle with four Cousin Its, the Unite attack takes them down quickly!
54 - We find a bridge but some men won't let us cross to Radat town. I guess west wasn't the right way.

56 - Our Buddy Unite attack continues to kick butt. Kind of overpowered actually... Level four!

57 - I find Toto village, this is where Jowy floated ashore. Cool, I can save my game at the inn. I haven't saved yet at all.

59 - I leave town and head east and enter North Sparrow Pass, it's pretty foggy here. Some soldiers tell me that the path to Highland is closed.

60 - In the final minute I decide to head all the way north, but Toto is as far as I can go. I supposedly can head west through Toto to Muse, but another soldier blocks my way. I'm stumped, but that's the end of Suikoden II's first hour.
Story: 6
Suikoden II's first hour is the story of two young men conscripted into a war that should be over, but one evil man seems set against that. After a surprise attack, the two friends, Riou (official name) and Jowy are separated and Riou is captured by his former enemy who thinks the war is really over. Jowy then busts Riou out and they set out for home. This all sounds pretty exciting, and the first half is. But once you're captured, the game grinds to a halt as you're ordered to do a bunch of remedial tasks. This isn't Suikoden II's way of training you either, this is just an out of the way route to provide a means of escape. So up until the flashback montage, everything was really great.

As for the characters, Riou is a silent protagonist. Something that was really popular at this time but you don't see it very often anymore. Once voice acting became mainstream for RPGs, that seemed to be the end of an era, not that I'm complaining though. Jowy, Rowd, Viktor, and Flik round out the rest of the hour's main characters, and I think they're all starting to be developed well. And of course we get our first look at Luca Blight, the game's arch nemesis. Once again, games that introduce the ultimate bad guy early on usually do much better developing him and making you believe that he is evil.

Graphics and Sound: 9
The animations in Suikoden II are quite impressive. The characters and environments are not any more detailed than some of the best looking Super Nintendo games, but Konami was really able to step up the depth and complexity of the battle animations on the PlayStation. Check out the Unite Attack screenshot, there's a lot going on here and it really looks nice for its day. 2D sprites will never die, and Suikoden II is one of many games that really prove great artists can enhance a game's appeal. There is a ton of variety in this PlayStation RPG: detailed characters and animations, excellent art design (especially in the flashback montage), nice looking character portraits, and a very detailed (if sparse) overworld. And this in a game where the super skinny characters really bothered me at first.

One of the most important aspects of an RPG is the music, and Suikoden II doesn't disappoint there either. There were some great songs playing, especially during the dramatic flashback, and some were typical village songs that must be a pain to write but are a necessity for a game like this. The battle sound effects were also pretty good, with the sound of numchucks banging on the enemy's head.

Gameplay: 5
Lots of variety with the graphics, but not so much in the gameplay. But it is a console role-playing game so they're not exactly known for much more than walking around and being in battle. The battles themselves seemed really, really easy. I had plenty of hit points, and my Unite attack with Jowy was incredibly overpowering. I have a feeling this is one of those games where the battles are either really easy or really tough, but time will tell if this Unite attack will be available for much longer. Running is necessary to get anywhere fast in the villages or camps, but you have to hold a button to do so. I know that Suikoden II was released before running was the standard instead of the slow-walk, but it is still a pain. And my last complaint is on the way the dialogue was handled. It's pretty slow appearing so you're constantly tapping the X button to move it along, but if you tap it too fast and an option appears for you to select, you'll automatically select the top option and you'll have no idea what you selected! This happened to me at least three times in just the first hour.

Fun Factor: 7
Suikoden II's first hour is an enjoyable experience, we get a good story and an interesting cast of characters, along with great looking animations and battles. The story slows down a bit too much about half way through though, and my hour ended with me having absolutely no idea where to go next. Something I don't appreciate in a world this large. Other than that, I had a good time.

Minutes to Action: 14

Overall: 7
If you can find this game, definitely give it a try. Suikoden II is unfortunately too rare for its own good, there was a PSP port a few years ago but it was never released outside of Japan. The game's first hour is pretty good, especially for a console role-playing game, though it does take rather long before the first battle starts. Suikoden II doesn't come close to something like Final Fantasy VII's first hour, but if I may say it, I believe the game as a whole is the best RPG I have ever played. Geez, here I am way out stepping the bounds of just reviewing the first hour. Time to end this before things get out of hand.

Game 30: Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams

2008-02-11T16:30:00.000-06:00

Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams is the fourth Onimusha game in the main series and was released in early 2006 for the PlayStation 2. I personally love the Onimusha series and find them some of the most satisfying games around. The games are heavy on katanas, demons, and blood, and Dawn of Dreams is no exception. I was introduced to the series after the second one came out and I've been playing them ever since. I even rented the crappy Super Smash Bros. ripoff, Blade Warriors. Back to Dawn of Dreams though, this game was actually kind of an unexpected sequel. After the third game was released, Capcom repeatedly said that this was to be the final Onimusha game, even though the game's own ending seemingly contradicts this. Thankfully though, this was an outright lie and the series went on.

Dawn of Dreams is a hack-and-slash game set in late 16th century Japan. Many of the heroes and villains are based on important historical figures at this time, just imbued with generally evil and demon-like powers. This makes for a really interesting alternate history game where the timeline kind of veers off onto a crazy path and eventually meets back up when things settle down. Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams continues to use completely 3D backgrounds, thus giving the player complete control over the camera (this opposed to pre-rendered backgrounds with pre-determined camera angles, the technique used for the first two games) and overall better control over your hero. You also have a second member with you most of the time allowing you to switch between characters for combos and using different powers. Capcom may not have originally wanted a fourth game, but it seems they had enough ideas to start the series anew. But let's play the first hour of Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams and see if they pulled it off.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select New Game and the first hour begins. The classic Onimusha ringing sound effect goes off and the opening cinematic begins. It's the year 1596, two men are on a rooftop and they're about to do battle. The two look battle hardened and one appears to be wearing an Onimusha outfit, the other names himself as Mitsunari, retainer to the Toyotomi Clan.
01 - The Onimusha-clad warrior is Tenkai. They exchange words for a long time and then finally do battle. Mitsunari defends himself well and then sends a wave of giant centipedes at Tenkai and holds him in the air, dangling.

02 - Tenkai strikes back and stabs Mitsunari with his polearm, but then Mitsunari swings him around and throws him off the building. Only if the Black Oni arrives will his plan be stopped, Mitsunari announces to no one in particular. Foreshadowing. We switch to a town scene, in the distance is a giant castle with something evil looking growing out of it.

03 - Suddenly the castle erupts and the town begins to cave in on itself. Destruction everywhere. A little girl is left standing alone in her kimono, suddenly a bunch of skeleton warriors run at her! Just before she is killed, our hero appears!
04 - He destroys scores of bad guys single handedly, I wish I could play this scene but it's still the opening video. This guy is not Tenkai from the opening. Coming from the castle is a horde of bad guys: ninjas, flying creatures, and 200 foot tall colossi! Our man yells "HIDEOYOSHI!" (think "TETSUO!") and then pulls a red sword from his back.

05 - He's glowing blue now, the 200 foot tall colossus actually seems scared, rightfully so because this guy can fly! His two swords decimate the giant in one quick slice and our Japanese blonde walks towards the camera through the dust.

06 - He then bends down to give the little girl her ball back. Looks like he's not out of trouble yet, enemies rush in as he does some fancy sword moves and the title screen appears: Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams.
07 - The first chapter is about to start, Stage 1: Dawn of Nightmares. Ah, now I'm looking at the in-game graphics for the first time, and I also get control. The game looks so incredibly different! Some hints appear at the top of the screen: Square is attack, X absorbs souls.

08 - If I hold R1 I can lock on and see the bad guys' health. More skeletons approach me. L1 blocks, that's good to know.

09 - Locking on seems to help a lot as Soki (our blue clad, blonde hero) will just start comboing his sword at thin air!
10 - In-game cutscene of the one of the super giants knocking down a building, Soki looks ready to fight him! But am I? He hops onto a building and faces him down.

12 - The giant is knocking down the buildings I'm trying to fight him on, but I can't attack him directly right now. I'm just killing skeletons. Ah, finally a new enemy! They just look a little fiercer and don't appear to be resurrected peasants. I also level up, interesting! Oh, now I'm facing the colossus for real! Soki glows and turns into an Onimusha! Basically a super human with glowing eyes.

13 - The giant is doing typical stupid giant stuff like getting his sword stuck in the building so I can hack at his arm. But he is shooting a chest machine gun at me... odd. Oh, I should mention that there's like rock music playing. Not as bad as Prince of Persia: The Warrior Within though.
14 - After a few hits his giant sword flies away. His health meter still has plenty of life left in it though.

15 - Okay, now his swordless hand is getting "stuck" in the roof. Lame. He also performs this giant sweeping hand motion that seems unavoidable.

16 - The brute goes down and I receive 1000 exp. Soki delivers the finishing blow by running up his arm and slashing his face, trying to be all Legolas-like The colossus explodes, haha!
17 - Soki looks pretty sweet with white hair and evil looking eyes. Ah, a cutscene: ancient Japanese art (Okami style) appears. A woman's voice begins telling the story so far. Nobunaga had attempted to use Genma (demons, baddies, not really a Japanese word) to take over the land, but the Onimusha stopped him (this is basically a really quick recap of the first three games, minus the time travel and Frenchmen). Then Hideyoshi Toyotomi took over and united Japan (this is what was hinted at during the Onimusha 3 ending... but it also happened in real life).

18 - Hideyoshi is not a nice man either. On June 29th, 1596, the Omen Star appeared in the sky. Hideyoshi changed that day and Japan fell under chaos. Massacres and slaughter all over, including Westerners arriving there for the first time.
19 - Then an earthquake hits Kyoto! Genma climb out of the cracks and start taking over Japan. The art shows the land on fire with demons killing humans. Ouch.

20 - I'm asked to save, nah. Stage 2, The Blue Demon. Two years later... January 1598 in the Plains of Suruga. Soki is lying in a house when some genma start walking down the center of town carrying what looks like a tree.

21 - Soki wakes up (he's fully armored out and he even has horns in his head). All of a sudden some weirdo pops out from the ceiling, Minokuchi! He's like tucked in a small sack hanging from the roof. Soki heads outside to confront the Genma.
22 - He tells the lead Genma on a flaming horse to head home. Ah, they are carrying cherry blossom trees. This town seems absolutely deserted except for Soki, oh and Minokuchi, who suddenly appears flying about carrying a sword.

23 - Soki is ticked that the demons ate some bugs, not sure what that means. Soki draws his sword and challenges the Genma. Looks like a fight!

25 - The bigger they are, the harder they fall. This guy was kind of tough, guarding was incredibly important as he knocks my energy away quickly with giant hits, but I whittle him down slowly. Hitting Triangle unleashes Oni Magic which delivers some large damage using the power of Oni, or something.

26 - Another cutscene of a crow and two people standing on a building. One is a woman, the other Mitsunari from the opening cutscene. He says the Blue Demon (Soki) is famous for being a traitor to Hideyoshi.
27 - Soki set the tree on fire and it seems to be moaning and crying out. Minokuchi... seriously? What is this guy and where is he hanging from? We're outdoors and he's still dangling from something.

28 - Back inside my house, our two friends Soki and Minokuchi discuss what just happened. I guess I can rest here before I head out again.

29 - I can save here along with enhancing my equipment with the souls I've collected. I level up my sword and armor a few times. I can also learn new skills from points I earned when leveling up. I put all of my points into Attack and Thrust.

31 - Geez, there's also a shop here run by some scary dude that could be Minokuchi's great-grandfather. I buy some medicine to refill my health in the future. I guess I'd better save in case I blow it.
32 - Next up I speak with Minokuchi for a bit. Seems like his life goal is to become a samurai... too bad he's two feet tall and hangs from the ceiling in a potato sack.

34 - I head for the door to leave, and then Soki decides to sleep. Stage 3, Jubei Has Arrived! Jubei... that's the main character from Onimusha 2. It's now February and a cutscene is playing. A young woman with one glowing red eye is walking through town when she gets approached by two drunk looking men. Guys, she's wearing a short sword and dressed like a mini samurai, do you really want to mess with her?

35 - She ends up breaking one guy's mug and basically breaks another guy's neck! She asks for the Blue Demon.
36 - Minokuchi has some sixth sense and is able to tell that there is a "child" in trouble. I think this girl can handle herself pretty well. But Soki decides to head out anyway as he doesn't know that. Time to make my way towards her, but the Genma think otherwise!

38 - I find the diary of a drunkard (literally). He writes about how the world has gone to hell and his only solace is the bottle.

40 - I find a puzzle box on the ground, to receive its contents I have to solve a color puzzle. I have to rotate these colored circles so that there's a straight line of one color from left to right. Kind of hard to explain but this one was really easy. I even received the Fire Dance sword!

42 - Woah, I just critical killed an enemy by hitting him right before he hit me! The screen went white and he went down with just the single blow, I also got a bunch of extra souls for that. This move could come in handy.
44 - Not really sure where I'm going, I find a piece of burnt wood to walk over but Soki refuses to cross because it won't hold his weight. Then I find a small hole here that someone small could squeeze through... suspicious.

46 - Some archers appear but they're expectedly weak. I reach level 6 as they fall. Nice.

47 - The game is trying to stop me from proceeding by placing a one foot tall cart in my way, lame level design. I approach another small hole and then a cutscene begins.

48 - It's the girl again, geez her red eye is creeping me out. Minokuchi sneaks up behind her and scares her. She also isn't very happy to see the Blue Demon! She starts fighting with me but Soki recognizes her fighting style.
49 - Sweet, time to do battle with this rugrat.

50 - This chick is quick but I corner her and give her a whallop. She says her name is Yagyu Jubei, Soki is stunned. Minokuchi starts crying that we're out of time and then a bunch of Genma approach. Is it time for a tag team battle with Jubei?

52 - I can give Jubei instructions using the D-pad, but I can't seem to control her directly yet...

54 - Jubei keeps going on and on about how no human sword can kill the Genma, but I can see her killing them with her own short sword right in front of me!

55 - Cool, another puzzle box. Just as easy as the last one though.
56 - Genma keep flying out of the sky in large numbers. I hate unlimited enemies, but these guys are easy enough, for now.

57 - Hey, a Test of Valor. It's a challenge to kill an axeman in less than a minute. Well, this toady goes down in 15 seconds thanks to Jubei's quickness and my strength.

59 - Oh no! Soki and Jubei get separated when a ladder is destroyed. Will we make it out alive? Well, yes. I find another ladder and unbar the door so we can meet up again.

60 - One final Test of Valor in the game's final minute! This time I have to fight off three axemen, but it's still pretty easy, we take them out in 38 seconds and receive a Bronze medal, dang. My reward is Grass. What the...? Well, that's it for the first hour of Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams.

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 7
As I stated in the introduction, Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams provides an alternative historical look at a turbulent time in Japanese history. This isn't something like Call of Duty where you're just a soldier in a war, this is a total rewrite with the same characters but with many more fictional elements. I believe that this kind of writing meshes really well with video games, and Dawn of Dreams is an example of that. However, I'm disappointed in how Capcom fumbled this opportunity because Dawn of Dream's story in the first hour starts dragging at the end. We get a great opening with interesting (and real) characters doing crazy things, but then we skip ahead two years and we find ourselves in a ghost town in the middle of nowhere. The game feels more like an American Western with swords (Rising Zan, anyone?) than a 16th century retelling set in turbulent Japan. Also, what the heck is going on with the Minokuchi character? That is seriously messed up and reminded me that I was just playing an insane Japanese video game instead of interacting with alternative historical fiction.

Graphics and Sound: 7
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams suffers from the nasty case of awesome-looking-opening-cutscene-then-horrible-in-game-graphics syndrome. Of course, the in-game graphics aren't that bad, but after six full minutes of beautiful cutscenes, nothing will look that hot. The most recent generation of consoles is dissolving that difference quickly, but Dawn of Dreams still suffers from it. It's disappointing, and after a bunch of Xbox 360 and Nintendo DS games, that much more noticeable. The graphics were improved though since Onimusha 3 and the fully rendered environments are again welcome. This is probably one of the better looking PS2 games, but the art style is a little tired coming from an Onimusha veteran.

Sound is above average also, most notably the Japanese language option is music to my ears. Onimusha 2 only had English voices which ticked me off to no end, but is the only game in the series lacking Japanese.

Gameplay: 6
Dawn of Dreams just doesn't seem to compare to a game like God of War 2, which has much more fluid action and a larger variety of weaponry, even early on. Combat is relatively simple: target, attack, block, and a super move. There are timed criticals available in the first hour but that's about it. This would have definitely received a higher score if it would have let me control Jubei directly, something that is available later on (but why not right away...?). I've also noted in the past that fighting huge bosses early is usually a huge plus, but when they're this stupid, you can't help but think of how much hand holding is really going on. There seems to be a lot of depth though with weapon and armor power-ups, along with collecting more weapons with different attributes. I believe the game has some promise there. Can't forget the puzzle boxes either, those should provide a nice side challenge later on.

Fun Factor: 5
Onimusha's appeal lies in a great setting, interesting good and bad guys, and its action-oriented gameplay. Dawn of Dreams fails at nearly all of these completely in its first hour. After the opening scene we find ourselves in a deserted town with no explanation on why Soki is staying here. The only semi-interesting character is Mitsunari but he's relegated to the back seat while crazy stupid Minokuchi and his rope from nowhere tries to steal the show. And finally the action feels really confined and sometimes quite awkward. Targeting is a must, something that really wasn't necessary in the early Onimushas, and I even felt kind of weak compared to the skeleton peasants. Why aren't I taking them down in one or two swings? Also the fact that I have a second character tailing me but all I can do is tell her to fight or just stand there is a great opportunity lost.

Minutes to Action: 7

Overall: 6
Dawn of Dream's fun factor describes my overall feeling of its first hour: opportunities lost. It is set during a super interesting period of Japanese history, and the best story Capcom can come up with is that there are evil cherry blossom trees and that bugs are the cause of the genma? And why can't I control Jubei? The game's first hour is slightly above average though: the graphics look great when you don't compare them to the opening and the Japanese voice acting is stellar. Onimusha is an action game at heart and so it's not that huge of a loss when the story is underwhelming. There does feel like there is something lacking in the gameplay but it is still a solid hack-and-slash. Give Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams a try if you've played any of the others, but I would recommend starting at the beginning of the series if you're new to it.

Art by John Devlin - used with permission.