The First Hour

Game 43: Night Trap

2008-05-12T16:30:00.003-05:00

Night Trap was a controversial full-motion video game released on a variety of CD-based systems in the early 90's. It serves as a great reminder to people who wish to defend against video game censorship in the United States as the game's leading opponents: Joe Lieberman and Herb Kohl, are still serving in the Senate 15 years later. Night Trap is pretty timid compared to some games nowadays and mostly attracted attention because it used real actors (if you could call them that) in pajamas and had a vampire blood sucking scene. There have undoubtedly been hundreds of scenes of vampires sucking the blood of a young woman out in film and even on TV over the years, but Night Trap gets targeted because why?

Anyways, a little about my experience with the game. I actually beat Night Trap a few years ago, it was an epic moment in my video game career and a story I'll be able to retell for ages. I first played it when it was initially released on the Sega CD back in 1992. Even then I realized how bad this game was, the control is simply horrid and the full motion video is anything but that. My friend and I played it because we were young and intrigued about the notion of the possibility of breasts in a video game. Of course, there isn't any nudity but we liked to think that if we beat the game, we would be duly rewarded. If you consider the opportunity to kill Dana Plato a great reward though, well, you will love this game. Now on to the first hour review of Night Trap for the PC!

(minutes are in bold)
00 - Well, the game starts off right away, I don't even have to press Start! The developer and publisher's logo flash by, and then we get to see the Night Trap logo, with a bloody letter A! An RV pulls up and I get a binoculars' eye view of a house. We cut to what I presume is inside the RV, a SWAT-like team of people are moving around inside, preparing for a mission of sorts.
01 - But they're not SWAT, they're SCAT. I don't think I could have possibly thought of a worse squad acronym. A man named Simms starts talking to me about this slumber party that's about to go down. Five teenage girls are going to a mall friend's house for some fun, but this isn't any normal random set of people, pretty girls have disappeared from here before! My job is to protect the five girls. Somehow SCAT already snuck someone into the house and discovered a robust security system with cameras and traps in every room (including the bathroom) and they spliced the cable so we could also control their security. Right now the trap's access code is simply set to Blue, but anyone could change it at anytime, so I have to pay attention. They could also cut the spliced cable.

02 - Man, this is a lot to worry about. Luckily I'll have a woman on the inside, Kelly, code named in the real world as Dana Plato, the star of Diff'rent Strokes! Simms yells at me for another moment, then I say I'm ready to go and the game really begins.

03 - So I'm looking at a view of the girls climbing out of their station wagon and they begin to unpack. They joke around in hilarious fashion and then Dana Plato, I mean Kelly, approaches the camera and asks if we're ready to go. The family's daughter, Sarah, comes walking down the stairs and says she's surprised they came.
04 - The parents also come out of the house and Sarah introduces everyone, the dad is all creepy like and even kissed Kelly's hand. One of the girl's brought her little brother, Danny. That just seems odd. Through all of this the game is beeping.

05 - I should explain the UI, on the top half of the screen we have the full motion video area, where we get to see the grainy, low-res hotties in action. On the bottom half we have what looks like a view of the house and buttons for the various cameras around the building. It also shows my current access code, and some numbers that say Possible (15) and Captured (0). Every time the game beeps the Possible goes up by one.

07 - Umm... "Weird Eddie" just approached the girls, "he's really cute" one of them exclaims. Danny waves like a dork. They enter the house, but I can see some black-clad dudes on the roof! I click the Trap button but it does nothing. The front lawn is just empty. Guess I'll head inside.
09 - Kelly breaks the fourth wall again and tells me to check out the house. I have to either follow these guys around or look for the baddies. They're hanging out in the kitchen now, unloading their goods.

10 - Woah, I just entered the bedroom and some guy was creeping around. It was playing some "rock" music and I tried to trap him but nothing happened.

11 - Oh man, I just missed out on a trap! A ninja vampire was in the bedroom again and the little bar starting flashing red, but I had already clicked Trap and missed my chance. Darn. 24 Possible, 0 Captured.
13 - Two guys just went into a secret doorway, I don't know how to follow them! The parents are outside talking about leaving, "what could possibly go wrong?" the father asks. Oh, just wait.

14 - I keep entering rooms right when a vampire is leaving. Lame. Oh, the girls are having a dance party in the living room now! Think I'll watch that for a bit.

16 - Holy crap. I just witnessed quite possibly the greatest scene in a video game ever. Someone puts on a song, and it turns out to be the Night Trap song! Seriously. "blah blah blah blah NIGHT TRAP!" That's basically how it went. One of the girls had a tennis racket and was strumming it like a guitar and then using it as a microphone. All of a sudden all the girls stand up and start rocking out. Amazing!
17 - But of course the whole time I was missing out on captures, whoops.

18 - NOOOO! I just had my first capture in the bag but someone changed the code! I don't know what it is now!

19 - Oh snaps, I lost. Simms comes up and tells me the house is being overrun, he's probably right! Time to start again.
20 - All right! This time I don't waste any time watching Simms talk to me and just get right to the house by pressing Enter. That seems to have worked because right away in Hall 1 two ninjas appear and since I know the code is blue, I take them out right away. A door opens up and then a wall shoves them outside. Rocking!

21 - Wow, I'm on a roll! I've now captured 5 out of a possible 7. The daughter, Sarah, was in the bathroom freshening up and some nasties followed her in there (unknown to her). I took them out with a rotating wall and some cleverly placed holes in the floor. Awesome Blossom!

23 - There are trapdoors all over this house, took out another two vampires. And another.
24 - The mom just came out from behind a bookcase, something fishy is going on here.

25 - The game has finally reached the point where the girls are unloading the station wagon. Geez, that seems a little lame that the opening video literally cuts into the game like that.

27 - Owned, the sliding staircase just dumped two enemies to the underworld. LOL, the bed just flipped up to toss one outside. This game is crazy.
28 - The game just pulled the same wall pushing two outside again. And since it was all full motion video, it was the exact same scene. I've captured 13 of 17. Not bad if I do say so myself.

30 - Took out some more in the bathroom. Some of these guys have giant weapon like things that look like they're for grabbing on to people's necks with (and then sucking their blood!).

31 - I come across the mom and dad in the kitchen, sounds like the mom is suspicious of Kelly. Not good for SCAT!
33 - Oh no, someone changed the code! When did they do it? I try changing it to Green and I immediately get an opportunity to try that out, doesn't work. Crap.

34 - Haha, the girls are about the sing the Night Trap song. I'd better not watch this time. Well, the code isn't Orange either. This sucks.

35 - What the frak? One of my SCAT buddies just burst into the house. Odd. I'm doing a lot worse now, 18 out of 34. And I still haven't confirmed the new access code.
37 - Ugh, not Purple either. Little Danny just found one of the secret doors and he went in, and two vampires followed! But I couldn't take them out! Finally, it's Red! Just don't change again anytime soon, please.

39 - Oh sucka! I just overheard the cousins talking about changing the code to Yellow. I rule.

40 - And yellow works immediately, whoopee! The girls have gone upstairs after their little dance-off. Sarah is showing them their rooms.
41 - Someone just pulled up in another station wagon, it's some black guy wearing a crazy Hawaiian outfit, but he's with SCAT! I think he's going to try something... "Give them the old Jamaican number." I am frightened for my life.

42 - Holy crap, Dana Plato in a sports bra! My dream has come true. One of the girls finds some crazy sex-toy thing in the closet, Sarah says her dad collects weird things. Uh huh.

44 - Well, the SCAT guy was inside talking to the cousins, but I didn't pay attention to what they were doing. Instead I found the craziest thing yet (besides the song). Some guy was hoisted up by his ankles in a closet and the vampires hooked some oxygen tank up to his neck and started sucking the blood out! Crazy!
45 - Oh no, Danny saw them do it! And now little Danny is getting chased! I do manage to take out one though.

47 - Woah, I just saw the famous bathroom scene that all the donkeys in Washington got upset about. One of the girls was fixing her hair in the bathroom while one of the vampires was hiding in the shower. She saw him and opened it up, thinking it was one of the other girls playing a trick on her, but then another came out, and another wielding their giant neck weapon! She starts fighting them off and I kill one, then she runs to the bedroom and out the window. Crazy!

49 - Heh, one of the cousins was just hitting on Kelly, but then Danny runs into the living room saying "they're after me!" Maybe they'll believe him and they can get the heck out! Please insert disc 2... fine, give me a minute.
50 - Oh no, my game froze! Crap... guess I'll replay the beginning for another 10 minutes. That blows.

51 - Okay, now the game is on a fritz, it froze again basically. LAME. Well, just the mouse actually, I can still use the number keys to switch cameras and the Enter button to trap. Might as well give it a try. (turns out later on it was actually my mouse that ran out of batteries, sorry to blame it on you Night Trap!)

55 - Using the keyboard's number pad is actually really easy to use. Quite a good alternative to the mouse.
58 - Just playing the game... 16 of 25 captured. Just flung a guy off the roof, only one I haven't seen yet.

60 - I'm proud of myself, I correctly figured out when the guys turned the access code to Red. But that's all there is to the first hour of Night Trap! Wow! Not as bad as I remembered.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: 3
Well, if you've read the minute by minute of this game, you'll know that Night Trap's story is pretty much crap. Okay, it's total crap. But it is redeemed by that amazing song that had me entranced for a few minutes. I'm pretty sure this game was intentionally written as a vampire B-movie, but that doesn't mean it gets a break from me. The acting is atrocious but the biggest problem with the story is the gameplay. There might actually be some gems of writing hidden within this game but you'd never know because you have to constantly jump from room to room, causing you to miss 90% of the dialogue. But maybe that's a good thing.

Graphics and Sound: 6
I played the PC version of Night Trap which benefits from higher resolution video, which is a definite plus. The security camera picture actually looks pretty good and it is always clear when the black clad bad guys are creeping around. What also helps is the soundtrack, the only noticeable piece was the vampire sneaking music but it helped so much when zipping from screen to screen. That Night Trap song was also pretty awesome. Finally, the user interface was also completely revamped from the Sega CD version but I'm not sure if it's actually any better.

Gameplay: 6
The core gameplay of Night Trap is really just you switching from camera to camera as fast as possible to find bad guys running around the house and then trap them. Trapping them doesn't take much skill, just press the button at the right time, but it's more about looking at the right camera at the right time. It's a little frustrating to suddenly find the security code has been changed, but I suppose this game has quite a bit of trial and error behind it, and I quickly figured out the correct time of the first code change. Night Trap's gameplay works off a simple concept, but it is executed pretty well.

Fun Factor: 8
I've always had fun playing Night Trap, and my latest foray into the game's first hour was no exception. The game is flawed in many ways, but once you get a hang of the gameplay and can get past the cheese factor, it is really fun. Trapping bad guys can actually be laugh out loud funny but most of the enjoyment comes from the bad acting and of course, the epic song and dance sequence. It's great to see a game that doesn't take itself too seriously, the developers weren't trying to make the perfect game, the premise is too flawed to begin with to achieve that. They did, however, make a game that is kind of like a scary movie, the more people you have around to watch it, the better it gets.

Minutes to Action: 3

Overall: 7
Is it wrong for me to say that I actually enjoyed playing the first hour of Night Trap? I think this game has gotten a tremendously bad rap from certain comedy video game reviewers and the pretty crappy gameplay of some console versions. My experience from playing the first hour does not point to this game being one of the worst of all time. It may have been an awful idea with a cast of D-list actors, but it is so campy and insane that I had fun. It's not a great game, it is though decent and such an iconic moment in video game history that if you ever get a chance to play Night Trap, do it.

The Sega CD user interface.
And the end of my innocence.

Game 42: Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen

2008-05-05T16:30:00.015-05:00

Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen is a console strategy game initially released on the Super Nintendo and then re-released on the Sega Saturn and Sony Playstation. I guess the game is rare but I bought the Super Nintendo version at a rental store when they were going out of business for five dollars (also scored that day was Yoshi's Island). I consider myself lucky, too bad the battery has died since then. The game has seen a bunch of sequels including Ogre Battle 64, which I also own.

Decent non turn-based strategy games are tough to come by on consoles, but March of the Black Queen stands out as one of the first and best in the genre. I'm not so sure how the first hour will turn out though, as the game moves pretty slow. Well, let's just get right into it and find out. I'll be playing the Super Nintendo version.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select New Game and the hour begins. A man named Warren begins talking. He is a great Seer, which means he can see destinies. He's going to use Tarot cards to decide if I'm fit to be a leader. But first I enter my name, Greg.
01 - Warren asks me my sex and then reveals the Sun card. He then asks me a question on who do I attribute victory in a battle to. I answer, "those who fought with me."

02 - The World card is revealed next. How full is my glass the night before a battle for a toast? Filled to the brim! Warren draws the Hierophant card.

03 - I answer "a sense of justice" in what I see in a leader. The strength card is brought up, it is a woman standing with a lion. Justice, again, is the most important attribute of a warrior in my opinion.
04 - Wow, more cards still. Now the Magician. I'm asked what kind of potion I'd make: poison, wealth, or immortality. None of them sound that great. I guess wealth.

05 - The Judgement card now. Who would I save in battle if I could only save one: my mother, lover, or child. Child, no idea though, I hate these kind of questions. Warren spreads the remaining cards out and asks me to grab one. It's the Fortune card! No questions that time.

06 - I'm now faced with the world map, The Zeteginea Age. I have a few options, but I'll save my game first. Time to start the first level, the Castle of Warren.
07 - Scene 1 - Beginning. A view of a lush green island appears. I guess I have control over some golden guy and have to beat the boss? There's also a day/night indicator in the corner.

08 - I click my guy a few times and tell him to move on what appears to be a building with a pink roof. He slowly starts crossing the plains. Woah, I'm walking over a mountain.

09 - I have liberated the trade city of Daskania. "Liberation!" the female computer voice calls out! Cool! The people are cheering for me. I have the option to pull a card, woah, it's the Hanged Man. The city calls out "Boo Boo!" Oh no!
10 - Liberating towns rewards me with tribute which I need to run my army. Next up I move Greg west to another building. The screen scrolls smoothly with my sword cursor.

11 - I have liberated a Roshian Temple! I pull the Strength card and get a "Thank you" instead of boos. A monk tells me that everything is moving in real time, and that I should pause if I get overwhelmed. Well, with only one character on the screen that won't be a problem. I head further west to the boss!

13 - Sweet, the sky is turning purple, it's twilight! Warren welcomes me to his castle and tells me I must do battle with the Zenobian Empire. He's going to put me to the test.

14 - Warren won't fight me, just keeps telling me to liberate more towns and return to them. Lame.
16 - I've returned to both towns so it's time to kick some ogre butt! Ugh, Warren tells me about a hidden city to the northeast. Can my character cross water? I guess so. Slowly though.

17 - I have liberated the Walled City of Zeltenia! I pull another Hanged Man card! Nooo!

18 - I talk with Lans, a knight of the Royal Zenobian Army. He likes the look in my eyes so he'll join my cause. Wow, what is my cause anyway? And only if it was that easy in real life. I head back to Warren again.

20 - It has become day again. Finally, it's time to fight! Wow, this looks totally different than the overhead map! It's five against one, seems unfair!
21 - I don't even have to do anything, my guys just fight it out. Greg casts Icecloud on Warren and then gets healed by the mage. Sweet, I won!

22 - I have liberated Volzak! Haha, fireworks are set off from the city. I have completed the map and receive 6748 bonus Goth. Goth is what their money is called. Umm... odd.

23 - Next level is called Sharom and is south of Warren on the world map. Scene 2 - Rally.
24 - Wow, this is a big map, and I also have a ton of units available to me now. Time to start deploying I guess and sending them to towns. Interesting, it costs Goth to deploy units. Cost of an army I suppose.

26 - I send out Lans and Geena along with Greg. Lans liberates Valna. I pull the Moon card. It immediately switches the time to night! Oh, I can buy items here at Valna.

27 - Greg liberates a town and pulls the Emperor card. The enemy hasn't deployed any enemies yet.

29 - Oh, the enemy has finally arrived! Greg liberates a temple, I think I'll stay here and wait for the enemy. Another Hanged Man. I am one unlucky fellow. Temples can revive buddies, that should be helpful.
30 - Greg has met the enemy! My tactics are set to Best, which means I always attack their best character. I think I'll set it to weak and take out the little ones first.

31 - Woah, the battle has ended but they still have two guys remaining! That's weird... Interesting, their character hasn't disappeared from the map, they just got pushed back a few inches on the map.

32 - Greg starts battle with another enemy. These guys have a giant wolf. This doesn't seem to hard when Greg's group has a healer.
33 - This last battle was closer, no one got killed but I still won. Must be based off of damage or something. The enemies just keep coming so I deploy a group that looks like it has ninjas in it. Another battle with Greg.

35 - This team is another set of two, just a mage and a giant guy with a club.

36 - Oh no! I lose! None of my guy's die but that giant brute was doing massive damage and getting to attack multiple times in a row. Geena will have to hold the temple.

37 - Geena's team has two amazons, two soldiers, and a healer. We don't do a lot of damage but are rewarded the win. Geena gets into another battle right away though. Oh snaps, it's the mage and the brute with the club!
38 - We have killed the giant! Just the mage left.

39 - Oh yeah, Geena to the rescue! She has killed the mage too, even though he threw two fireballs at one of my amazons.

40 - Man, just battle after battle. It's the two-headed wolf/mage team. They're weak so hopefully I can finish them off. Well, that was easy, they're gone already.

41 - Another battle against a weakened enemy. Good thing they're not running off to heal.
42 - Well, I don't finish off their leader but their team does level up! Now if only I could get Greg back to the temple to help defend it. I'm fighting another battle against a group with a healer. Could be a long battle. We win but they have plenty of health left.

44 - Back at the map, that loser who only has a few hit points left is running back to the boss. Fighting a beastmaster now and his two-headed wolf.

45 - The wolf is dead leaving the beastmaster, but we're declared the winners.

46 - Ugh, these amazons keep getting left with one hit point and then their cleric heals them.
47 - Wow, I forgot about Lans but he found a secret temple on an island! Liberation! I pull the Strength card. The monks give me the Star of Heroes. I get a "HEROSTAR!" Haha.

49 - Greg has healed a bit so I put him in front of Geena. Greg will meet the beastmaster! Greg only attacks once per battle, and its the Icecloud attack that always seems to miss the leader. I defeat the beastmaster though with my little soldiers. That takes care of him.

51 - Greg levels up as we almost defeat the cleric. It has 8 hit points left. It's probably going to run away.

53 - Woah woah woah! Some enemy is flying across the water and might take the city near my capital! I have to deploy Warren and we race there. Geez, the enemy turns and heads right for my capital city. Crap. They have a gryphon. No wonder they moved so fast, they were literally flying.
55 - Warren just whooped down on their leader but I can't manage to kill the gryphon. It'll probably fly away. I have things under control for the moment so I start moving around my characters. I send Geena to the end of a road where a city undoubtedly is. Lans doesn't find anything in his latest search so I send him back near the capital.

57 - Sweet, I do have a ninja on my team. His name is Morgan though. What kind of ninja is named Morgan?

58 - I have re-encountered the weakened cleric, but she's picked up two more clerics. Lame.

60 - Greg's Icecloud finally hits everyone and does some pretty decent damage. Well, it doesn't look like I'm going to get across this bridge anytime soon. It's going to take a while to defend and slowly push forward. I guess that's the end of Ogre Battle's first hour.
Time for some scores out of 10.

Story: 6
About the only unique thing Ogre Battle has going for it in the first hour in terms of story is the tarot card introduction. It was pretty fun answering Warren's questions about how I would manage an army and how much wine I would want to drink the night before a battle. Maybe not fun... but definitely weird and quirky. Being given tarot cards which I can use in battle is also cool and gives the game an extra layer in what seems like a pretty straight-forward system so far. The rest of the story isn't as interesting, and seems pretty derivative of basically anything else, but the tarot card approach is unique. Destinies and fates are intriguing concepts, whether you believe in them or not.

Graphics and Sound: 7
I read a few reviews that knocked on the game's graphics, but I like them. They're simple when they need to be simple like on the world map, and more detailed when in battle. The battles have a cool background behind them that makes it look like they're just being fought out on my desk. The sprites in battle are also well detailed, but plain on the overworld. This isn't bad though, as they're distinct and are more like pieces out of a board game. The game also features the day/night system which I'm sure will be used uniquely further on, but is more just for show in the first hour.

Not much going on with sound in Ogre Battle. The highlight though is when you liberate a town, you get the sound effect, "Liberation!" I still remember hearing that 12 years ago sitting in my bedroom as a kid and thinking how cool it was.

Gameplay: 5
Two different types of gameplay, and both are relatively hands off most of the time. When managing units on the map, you have to scroll around quite a bit to get a handle on things and you have to understand your unit's strengths and weaknesses. It was kind of a shocker when the enemy sent a flying unit at me from across the sea and almost caught me off guard. But most of the time you're just fortifying a town or temple and trying to hold your ground. A lot of moving characters just a little bit in front or behind of another so they can be the won to battle it out. It's almost requires too much control for a strategy game like this.

Battling in Ogre Battle is mostly automated, which is kind of a relief. Many console RPG's just have you tapping the A button to do the same thing turn after turn, but Ogre Battle makes it easy on the player and takes over for them. You can still press the A button and mess with tactics, but other than that, not much to it. Just hope you hit them and they miss you.

Fun Factor: 5
Ogre Battle's super slow moving pieces on map may be great for planning out strategies and preparing for attacks, but it'd be nice if there was a speed up key or something for the times when you just want to get where you want to be. On the other hand, fighting in the battles can be pretty fun but since it is automated, there's nothing to get too pumped about. The battle is essentially decided before you even start, you're just there to watch it unfold. The game doesn't seem to be too heavy on micromanagement within its first hour though, and that's a plus. Ogre Battle is simply not that fun, it's simply delivers average enjoyment.

Minutes to Action: 20

Overall: 5
Twenty minutes is a long time for any game to get rolling, and Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen suffers from this. I think it would have been more effective if after our Tarot card draw, if we immediately were thrust into battle. The game can still force us to move around Warren's island and liberate towns, but it just takes a long time to get to what the player wants: action. The game's gameplay and fun factor falter due to Ogre's Battle below normal game speed, but the story and choice of graphics save it from falling into the land of crappy first hours. If you're into console strategy games, you probably owe yourself to check out March of the Black Queen for whatever system you can find it on, but don't spend too much money on it; plenty of good strategy games are still being released. The bad part is they probably all still take a quarter of an hour to actually start.

Game 41: Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden

2008-04-28T16:30:00.003-05:00

Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden are NES and Xbox games with the exact same name. Ninja Gaiden for the NES came out in 1989 and Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox came out in 2004. I'm not sure why Tecmo and lead designer Itagaki didn't give the Xbox Ninja Gaiden game a subtitle, but it's too late to wonder, because there are officially two games under the name of Ninja Gaiden, just released 15 years apart. In first hour tradition, I will be only playing Ninja Gaiden for one hour, but because they are named exactly the same, I will first play half an hour of Ninja Gaiden for the NES, and then half an hour on the Xbox. This will complicate the review a bit, but I'll try to always make is clear what game I'm talking about.

This is an exciting time for the Ninja Gaiden series, as Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword was released last month for the DS and Ninja Gaiden II will be out in a few weeks for the Xbox 360. Remember, this is a new Ninja Gaiden II, not Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos which was released on the NES in 1990. Yeah, Tecmo does it again. I plan on playing Dragon Sword (not Dark Sword) someday as it sounds pretty cool, but this review is all about the first hour of the two Ninja Gaidens. So let's get right down to it. To start, the first thirty minutes of Ninja Gaiden for the NES.

(minutes are in bold)
00 - Begin Ninja Gaiden NES. I was about to press Start to begin the game, when a story cutscene began! Two ninjas are facing each other in a green field with a giant moon overhead. They begin running at each other with the game just showing their legs moving at high speed.
01 - They jump and meet in the air in front of the moon! Their swords clash and they both land on their feet. In classic movie fashion though, the ninja wearing pink then stumbles to the ground. Some text appears wondering why he fought and died, must be the main character, Ryu, speaking.

02 - A young man is on screen now, he looks young but he's got huge, muscular arms. He's reading a letter from his father. He tells Ryu to take the family's Dragon sword and go to America to meet an archaeologist named Walter Smith. "Ryu, be always brave..." "I will get my revenge!" Pretty epic!

03 - I press Start and the real gameplay of Ninja Gaiden begins. Act one. The game starts right off with Ryu in the streets. A is jump and B is sword slash.
04 - Enemies explode in one slash of my sword! There's some kind of ninja dog running around being annoying. Lame pup. Ryu can't double jump. Isn't it ninja law that all ninjas must learn how to double jump before anything else?

05 - There's an enemy above me and I have no idea how to get to him. Oh sweet I just jumped and attached myself to a street sign! Wow cool you can jump off of walls, this has to be one of the first games to ever allow that.

06 - I picked up some sort of power-up that when I jump I do a cool ninja swirl with my sword that protects myself.
07 - I have reached the first boss. I was fooling around so much in the first stage that my time almost ran out! It was actually really fun to hop around and jump off of buildings.

08 - Well, that guy really wasn't that hard. He was pretty tall though so I had to jump off the wall Chun-Li style to get over his head. He was really slow though so I just slashed him in the back a lot.

09 - A cutscene, our ninja thinks these thugs are following him. How could street bums be following a ninja?

10 - A "girl" appears behind him. She has a gun! She shot Ryu! And thus Act 2 begins.
11 - More cutscenes, Ryu is in jail now but the woman appears and gives him a statue and lets him escape. Odd. Ryu asks, "didn't you try to kill me?" Good question.

12 - I regain control and I'm now in some underground cave. Probably some evil overlord's lair.

13 - Ugh, the platforming is getting tougher now with small little areas to land on and anti-ninja bats flying all over. I fall in a pit. The level restarts.

14 - Man, there's like unlimited of these annoying ninja dogs. What the heck? I had to wall jump up a ladder to get to the next area above me, but then I wall jumped off and fell to where I should have been before and died. Lame!
15 - OH. You can climb the ladder like a normal video game character. Nice. The game was kind enough to let me off where I died just now.

16 - Sweet, you can throw shurikens by pressing up and B at the same time after you collect some.

17 - Oh no I died again! Game Over! Back to the beginning of Stage 2. Dang, a ninja dog just knocked me into a pit.

18 - Ryu just attached himself to a wall that I had no choice but to jump into the abyss. Game Over again.
19 - You can pick up a flaming shuriken that makes enemies explode. That's pretty cool.

20 - Woah, I finally made it outside the cave lair. Backgrounds look pretty good honestly. What the heck... there's like ghosts and dragonflies out here trying to kill me. Well, the dragonflies are for collecting stuff but there's bad men with machine guns!

21 - I made it to the end of the level and it looked like there was no where to go, so I went the only place I thought I could. Down. Died.
22 - Oh, you're supposed to climb a ladder down, not just jump. I got a sweet power-up though that put a ring of fire around me, so I was jumping from small pillar to small pillar killing guys instantly. But the invincibility ran out the moment I hit a guy with a sword and he knocked me into a pit, killing me.

24 - Game over but the game started me outside again, not bad. I got my vengeance on the sword wielding edge hogger with my awesome ring of fire.

27 - Man, this is such a hardcore platformer. There's this small little pillar I have to jump to and a guy is standing on it! Get off!

28 - Well, I finally got past him and got killed by the next guy. What's the point of 15 life points when you always die from falling off?
29 - This game wouldn't be nearly as hard if you didn't always jump fall back three feet after being hit.

30 - Begin Ninja Gaiden Xbox. Okay, that's enough of the original Ninja Gaiden! I admit, I suck at it! Now onto the new Xbox version! I select New Game and the game starts telling me about the "evil Dark Dragon Blade" and a really ugly full of jaggies sword appears. What the... this is nasty looking. The guy keeps talking to me in Japanese as I try to keep up with the subtitles. Whoever uses the sword will become evil.

31 - Oh, now the Dragon Sword appears, as opposed to the Dragon Blade I guess? This sword too is also made up of graphical jaggies. The Dragon Sword is owned by the Hayabusa family. A ninja appears in the background, it's Ryu!
32 - A wall of text appears, it is the Book of Fiends. This serves as the loading screen but the reading is pretty boring. Ancient tribes have struggled for thousands of generations. You know how long thousands of generations is? That's like a minimum of 20,000 years. That's a really long time. Still loading.

33 - More text appears, wait, it's the same stuff from before. Oh, the loading is finally done. Chapter 1 - The Way of the Ninja. Ryu jumps from the top of a waterfall and slices a brown-clad ninja in half. Sweet.

34 - Some woman is looking down on my from the cliffs, and then I get control. The gameplay is really smooth, feels like Assassin's Creed. Woah, the right thumbstick does not control the camera, just zooms me into Ryu's view. That's going to be annoying.
35 - Something got thrown against the cliff wall... it's a in-game hint! Must be from that girl ninja. The hint is about climbing walls, seems to work just like Assassin's Creed and Prince of Persia.

36 - Ryu doesn't open chests with his hands, he kicks them open with his big, black boot. I receive an Elixir of Spiritual Life. Some vines are blocking my apparent path but Ryu's ultra-sharp katana can't cut them down. Lame.

37 - Not sure where to go...

38 - I find a locked door, no dice though.
39 - Oh, I have to climb a fallen tree that's laying over the vines I mentioned before.

40 - My first kills! I kick one brown ninja off the cliff and impale another with my dragon sword. Game is kind of bloody, but the blood doesn't stick around.

41 - I wall jump into a cave and then more brown ninjas appear. I kill them easily.

42 - I have just wall jumped into a building complex. It is the Ninja Fortress! Oh neat, I can throw shurikens, just like in the original.
43 - I get a map of the fortress and check it out, seems confusing. Don't think I'll bother with this much. Why is it angled? That's just annoying.

45 - I just fought about ten brown ninjas in a small, locked room. Is there a block button in this game?

46 - Apparently block is the L button. I discover a suit of samurai armor in a corner, but it is missing its mask. I probably need to find that.

47 - A ton more browns appear, when a ninja dies, its soul is transformed into a small yellow ball. What a ripoff of Onimusha!
49 - Ooh, white ninjas! These guys jump around like little hamsters. I wall jump myself and finish them off with a well timed slice of my blade. I think my biggest enemy is the camera though, this thing is obnoxious.

50 - Whoops, just fell into a trapdoor. I'm now underground and the anti-ninja bats are back (see minute 13). Some things never change.

51 - I find the Fangs of the Samurai in a chest down there and start to look for a way out, guess I was supposed to fall down here. Just noticed that Ryu does this sweet little flip when he throws shurikens while running.

53 - I'm out of the caves now and back to the Ninja Fortress.
54 - Just racked up a 17 hit combo on some bad ninjas and it restored my health. Nice. You can also jump on the heads of ninjas and it sort of leaves this shadow behind, pretty cool animation. Oh, a save point. Must be a boss up ahead...

56 - I insert the Fangs of the Samurai into the armor and get the Key of Courage. This room I have to keep running through spews new white ninjas every time. Get out of my way, I'm running out of time!

57 - Ryu reaches the Inner Sanctum and I get a hint on how to roll from my purple-clad female friend. I use the Key of Courage on the door.

58 - Oh snaps I just decapitated a white ninja! Awesome! Then another! You can hold Y to charge up a super attack that triggers a hands-off super combo.
59 - A man with long gray hair is sitting on the floor of a large room, he's wielding nunchucks. He stands up and shows off his nunchuck skills by twirling them all over, I'm not impressed. We begin to fight.

60 - Okay, this guy is a bastard. I have to use all of my healing potions to beat him but I eventually do by jumping off the walls onto his head. He was blocking everything else and breaking my block with his nasty combos. After the fight, we bow and then sit down on the floor and chill out! All that work for some tea! A moment later though my ninja friend runs in, it is Ayane from Dead or Alive! Ryu's village is on fire! Too bad the hour is up for Ninja Gaiden.

Time for some scores out of 10.
Story: NES - 7 and Xbox - 3
Definitely more story than I was expecting from a half hour of an old NES game! Ninja Gaiden (NES) sets up as a revenge story that really reminds me of Shenmue. Except Ryu Hayabusa became a ninja and Ryo Hazuki just asks for sailors. Becoming a ninja is awesome. Let's take a quick look at the opening scene with the ninjas in the grassy field. This was directed incredibly well for what is basically a 20 year old game. Nice backdrop with the moon and impressive close ups of our two opposing ninjas.

And definitely less story than I was expecting from a half hour of a modern Xbox game! The game starts off with a bunch of cryptic descriptions on Dragon Blades and Dragon Swords and then tosses a giant wall of text at me about Ancient Tribes. None of it seems to fit together. After that, there's not a drop of story until the very end of the half hour when Ayane runs in and announces the village I've never seen is on fire (what, is this an RPG?).

Graphics and Sound: NES - 6 and Xbox - 9
After the impressive opening cutscene, Ninja Gaiden on the NES quickly reminded me I was playing an 8-bit game. The graphics were sharp but the colors just seemed washed out. It looked great at the time but I can't hold it up against its peers infinitely. I believe the most impressive thing about the game's graphics were the backgrounds. They were well detailed and propped the game up a bit graphically. Ninja Gaiden's sound was pretty basic and there wasn't much outside the music.

The Xbox Ninja Gaiden looks really awesome, the graphics are gorgeous and the framerate is nice and slick. Definitely no major complaints, but that obviously means I have a minor one. I feel like the game is almost too sharp, I think it could have used some filters to soften some things up. Oh, and the blood and bad guys shouldn't disappear so fast! I want to see the marvels of my awesome swordplay!

Gameplay: NES - 6 and Xbox - 8
Ninja Gaiden (NES) has precise, but difficult gameplay. This is a tough platformer and I was really surprised that after I got Game Overs, I was restarted pretty close to where I had lost my final life. This is a great bonus as it encouraged me to keep trying without getting too frustrated. Many games these days aren't as kind! The controls are obviously simple on the NES, but we get the nice little bonus of throwing shurikens. If only you could throw them at an angle.

Well, you can throw shurikens at an angle in Ninja Gaiden on the Xbox, and it's pretty cool too! Actually, the fighting is pretty great in the 3D action-adventure game, the hardest part is dealing with the camera. It just never did what I wanted it to do and I had a hard time keeping track of more than one or two enemies. Either way, cameras are never an easy thing to develop properly, especially when you have such a fast-paced game. Leaping around is very smooth and decapitating ninjas never grows old.

Fun Factor: NES - 7 and Xbox - 8
Though Ninja Gaiden for the NES is tough, it was actually pretty fun. The story was actually decently interesting even if it was pretty derivative. I really thought I was going to get owned left or right while playing but the first half hour must be tame compared to the rest of the game. The game had a few headache inducing moments but hard games can really be fun if they're still rewarding and not totally unfair.

The Xbox Ninja Gaiden is not as frustrating as the NES game, but it is still really challenging. I suppose in this game you get health potions instead of nicely placed checkpoints, but you get ganged up quite quickly and must fend off multiple enemies. This is totally different than a platformer and you must have your finger ready on the block button if you want to be successful. The boss just seemed unfair though, he was whooping on me and my health bar like there was no tomorrow, and I only beat him because I was being cheap. I feel dirty.

Minutes to Action: NES - 3 and Xbox - 5

Overall: NES - 7 and Xbox - 8
Yes, I am awarding nearly identical scores to the first half hour of both Ninja Gaiden games. Some of you may be thinking, how could you possibly award a 15 year old game only one point less than its modern day counterpart? Well, that's a good question and I will answer it: the games were obviously released in totally different video game eras. And they're each good, above average games when compared against their peers. Remember, this is just the first half hour of each game, which is even less than what I normally play! Both games are fun though, but surprisingly the NES version has a better story! The Xbox Ninja Gaiden just throws a block of text at you that really doesn't seem applicable to what I was then playing. Though it does seem kind of weird that the NES game's story hinges on finding some random American. Graphically, the Xbox version is near the top of its game. Both games get good scores, and I would recommend trying them both out! If only to get owned in both 2D and 3D.

Ninja Gaiden galore! I think that's enough of Ryu Hayabusa for a while. And ninjas, geez, I just realized I did Pocky & Rocky last week which featured a female ninja.

Wow.

Game 40: Pocky & Rocky

2008-04-21T16:30:00.025-05:00

Pocky & Rocky is a multiplayer scrolling shooter for the SNES and developed by Natsume, the creators of Harvest Moon. It's hard to imagine the guys who made a farming simulator once worked on a fast-paced, crazy hard shoot 'em up. But they did, and here it is. The game has a lot of charisma and character, but it's super tough! I recruited my friend Hylas to help me out, much like I did for Zombies Ate My Neighbors. This game once again proves that two heads are better than one, but is the game really any good? With a name like Pocky & Rocky, how can you go wrong?

Pocky & Rocky is actually the second game in the Pocky series (Kiki KaiKai was a Japanese only arcade game featuring just our heroine Pocky), but the first in the Pocky and Rocky series starring the girl and the raccoon. There's also a new PS2/Wii game called Kiki Kai World (or Heavenly Guardian) that is somewhat of a new sequel to the series, just 15 years later. Well, who cares about those other games, this is all about Pocky & Rocky! Now, let's get it on!

(minutes are in bold)
00 - I select Start and the first hour begins. The game starts telling the story of the Nopino Goblins and how evil they used to be. But Pocky put an end to that! Pocky is a girl with a giant head and varying hair colors, so far I've seen purple and brown.
01 - Rocky the Raccoon has arrived, something terrible has happened to his fellow goblins! They've all gone crazy and he needs Pocky's help.

02 - Suddenly, a big ugly, round goblin has appeared! But in typical fashion, instead of just fighting him immediately we head to the overworld screen. Hylas and I select the first level, The Haunted Shrine.

03 - I really had no idea what kind of genre this game falls under when I started playing, but it is readily apparent now, this is a scrolling shooter! There are tons of powerups and enemies flying all over.
04 - Dang skeletons tossing bones at us after they die!

05 - Some old man just floated around and threw stuff at us, this game is really weird. But fun!

08 - Wow! We just beat the first boss! It was the ugly goblin from the beginning. Stupid guy was tossing nuts at us. Hylas and I wailed on him with our weapons (Pocky throws playing cards and Rocky throws leaves) and slowly took him down, but we both died once. This game is insane!
09 - Cutscene now of the goblin talking. He starts telling us about what happened: the goblins were having a party when a hooded stranger approached. Poor guys, it was the Black Mantle!

10 - Next level up is the Enchanted Forest. What a unique name... The bad guys start battling us right away.

11 - It's not long before we encounter a fire breathing cyclops, hahaha, he goes down in a flurry of cards and leaves.

13 - Well, the game just keeps throwing bosses at us, next up was a hollow green stick! He seems to know who the mysterious Black Mantle is.
15 - Another Cyclops who goes down as I whoop him from behind. Hylas gives me a warning: don't fall in the water!

18 - That was good advice because we just had a three minute rafting sequence of fending off enemies. Surprisingly, neither Rocky nor Pocky took a swim.

19 - Oh man, an octopus boss! With dragon heads on his tentacles. Not more tentacles! I lost all my lives. Game Over for me...
20 - Hylas won out though and there is now a cutscene of him talking with some turtle goblins. Dang it, Pocky is still alive in the cutscene!

21 - Our next stop is the cemetery... I'm out of lives so I guess I'll just watch Hylas play for a bit.

22 - Geez this level is intense, and I'm not even playing at the moment! Hylas using Rocky weaves his way through the graves only to fight an undead monster! Well, Hylas is also undead now. More like dead. Okay, I'll stop.
23 - Game Over for both of us! But thankfully we get to continue and we both come back with full lives at the graveyard. Nice.

25 - We made it to the boss together this time, man, half of these guy's attack are unavoidable! I don't think we killed him, but he disappears and we're able to enter the crypt.

28 - Holy crap man, boss after boss. This time it was a genie who teleported around the room and threw fire at us while turning into clouds. Someone was on drugs.
30 - Wow, another tremendously hard sequence where we had to avoid skulls and bats and green globs and moving walls that tried to shove us into pits. We both lose all of our lives. Game Over again. And the cemetery again.

34 - We just beat the demon and the genie again, but I'm on my last life. This is going to be so hard.

35 - Well I lost that life in record time. Having two players fight each other by scrolling the screen when there are so many pits is really difficult. Hopefully Hylas can do this on his own...
36 - Nope. Game Over again.

42 - This time was almost worst than last. I was too quick on the start button and started the cemetery level without Hylas, so he had to steal one of my lives to join and play. We actually made it pretty far on a life shortage, but the game's supreme difficulty won out in the end, of course.

45 - We're doing really well this time. We both have two lives remaining after beating the genie.

48 - Finally! We defeat the demon again at the end, this time using bombs (which I didn't know how to use... L and R buttons!), and have finally beaten the cemetery level!
49 - Suddenly the Gorgonzola flying fortress has appeared in the sky! Black Mantle must be in there! The next level is called Battle in the Sky. I have no idea how both Pocky and Rocky are familiar with this flying fortress, but they are and they're note scared.

51 - Well, I lose my one life very quickly. First I fell off, then got trampled by a falling skull. Not fun! There is also a cloud monster that seems unstoppable. Basically this whole game is unstopabble.

52 - Hylas loses his last life when he jumps off the cliff with an animal he's riding!
54 - We're back, but not for long. Pocky loses her last life and now Rocky is once again on his own. The game is forcing him through a scroll maze. Basically a maze that would be super easy to walk through if it weren't for the automatically scrolling screen. Well, there's also tons of pirates shooting at him and some doors are blowing fire in all directions.

56 - Somehow he's still alive and kicking! Go Rocky!

57 - Oh oh, the level boss. It's some bird man monster who throws deadly feathers at Rocky. I guess we'll give this one more go now that the raccoon man is dead.

60 - And that last go was just enough! We use all our bombs on the bird monster to whoop down on him! Just a few more levels remain but we are out of time on the first hour of Rocky & Pocky!

Now for some scores out of 10.
Story: 6
For being a SNES shoot 'em up, Pocky & Rocky's story is not half bad! We get some fun cutscenes between levels that aren't too long and the graphics are cute enough to keep it appealing. The story is basic, kind of reminds me of something like Kirby where you have to save all your furry friends. The Black Mantle was a nice, dark addition to an otherwise cheerful game, just wish I could have met him face to face in the first hour instead of hearing all his minions blab on and on about who and where he is.

Graphics and Sound: 8
Colorful, well detailed, and a heck of a lot of stuff going on makes for a great looking 16-bit scrolling shooter. Pocky & Rocky came out years before Harvest Moon and honestly this game looks better! The color palette was chosen so well that the sprites pop out of the screen. The game isn't beautiful, but it's not trying to inspire games like Ikaruga, it is doing it's own thing and it does it great. Honestly, I didn't notice the music much, the game was just so intense. The sound effects were light and appropriate, no voices, but no big deal.

Gameplay: 7
I really had no idea this game was so hard, and we were playing two player on EASY. Hylas and I can't even imagine playing on a harder level let alone beating the game on easy (we tried, got bored from dieing so much). A hard game doesn't mean too much unless the game is unfair, which Pocky & Rocky generally is. There are some moments with respawning enemies and raccoon-seeking projectiles that made us kind of angry, but that's the challenge of the game. It has a cute presentation and then never lets up after the first minute. There are a few moments of bullet hell near the end of the first hour that made the game very tough, and even though you have a few hearts of life, there's really no moment of invincibility that you sometimes see in other shoot 'em ups. Overall gameplay though is solid and fun.

Fun Factor: 7
Hard games can be a lot of fun, and Pocky & Rocky's first hour is pretty enjoyable. I remember the first time I played Ikaruga and was just blown out of the water within minutes, Pocky & Rocky thankfully has a much better difficult curve but compared to most games it is still harsh. That's okay though, because if you enjoy shoot 'em ups this is a great, light-hearted approach to the genre that's obsessed with spaceships and crappy stories. This specific sub-genre of a Commando-like game is a rather rare breed these days, so it can be pretty fun to take a step back in time and check out what developers were doing 15 years ago.

Oh yeah, best part about this game is when you slide into your teammate which sends them careening around the screen on their bottom bouncing into everything for like five seconds. It's hilarious!

Minutes to Action: 3

Overall: 7
Pocky & Rocky is a decent scrolling shoot 'em up that takes a light-hearted approach to the genre. Sitting down with a friend and tackling this game head on for an afternoon would be great fun, and I don't think this game is much longer than an hour for the skilled shmupper. This game basically requires two players though not because of its difficulty, but because it makes it a lot more fun to count on your fellow raccoon/young lady when taking on the forces of the Dark Mantle. I recommend this game to anyone who is a fan of the genre or just likes to go back and play old and quirky games.

The Japanese cover, because the American cover is a Grade A Disaster.