Modern Women

We will remember

2009-07-13T14:36:00.001-04:00

When I was a little girl I saw a picture of an another little girl in the paper. She was half way around the world in a country ravaged by war. She was running down the road, naked, wounded and crying. As young as I was I wondered what happened to her, where were her parents, and did she survive that day. To this day I never forgot the image of that little girl.

There have been many wars in my lifetime. The images of children suffering still touches the child in me. Wars aren't fought only by political rhetoric and military might. There are always civilians caught in the middle fighting for the right to survive. There are children who miss out on their childhoods because they live in fear and with death around every corner. They may lose their families or friends. They grow up traumatized and unable to bond or trust. They will never forget and neither should we.

No child should wonder if it's safe to play outside or whether they will make it to school before gunfire breaks out. No child should be afraid they might never see their mom or dad again because they have been kidnapped and forced to become soliders. No child should have their innocence stripped away by the horrors of rape. Every child has the right to feel safe at home. Moreover we as adults should do all we can to prevent children anywhere from being victimized insanity and inhumanity of war.

T. Boone...call me

2009-07-10T09:48:00.001-04:00

I firmly believe the current energy crisis, global warming, and better food sources will not be solved by governments but by private enterprise. It appears that all our governments want to do is discuss the matter rather than take any real action. The social and financial benefits can be astronomical to whomever produces products that will revolutionize the way our world lives and breathes.

Right now we are watching the price of gas and other life necessities going up. There are thousands of creative individuals, including myself with amazing ideas that will turn our economy and environment around. Unfortunately it is difficult for these innovators to get their ideas to market. I admire and applaud T. Boone Pickens. This is a man who made his money in oil but recognizes the problem and has a practical solution. But unlike Mr. Pickens, I don't have millions of dollars at my disposal to implement my ideas. So now I must find a way to use the brains God gave me to bring my ideas to life.

It is going to be up to the little guy to revive and renew the world economic structure. Big corporations have clearly demonstrated a lack of concern for their employees, community, and environmental legacy. The machine has no soul. We can no longer stand idly by waiting for opportunity to come to us. We must create the opportunity. The time for talk is over.

So if you're out there, call me T. Boone. Let me put a bug in your ear.

Peter Pan was more grown up

2009-06-09T10:11:00.003-04:00

I have never reposted a blog entry until now. It seems Matt Dubay has not grown up yet. He made on appearance on Dr. Phil (Original Air: 10.22.08-Rerun 6.2.09). It seems he is still bemoaning the issue of having to pay child support. What's worse is his mother is supporting him in his selfish stupidity. He still lays this at the feet of his ex girlfriend and portrays himself as a victim. He and his mother seemed to balk at the idea that he could have used protection to prevent a child. Now he is so traumatized he can no longer trust women and intimacy has been ruined for him.

I know I can 't be the only one who thinks this guy should move back home with mom because she will probably be the only woman in his life.

3.31.2006
You could keep your pants on
Just when I think I’ve heard everything, along comes something that sinks mankind to a new low of stupidity. There is a young man in Michigan who thinks he should not have to pay child support for his daughter because he didn’t want to have a child with his (ex) girlfriend. He feels that because she knew he did not want children with her and she chose to keep the baby, he should be able to opt out of child support. She had the option of abortion or adoption.

Well he also had a couple of options. He could have covered it or cut it (I mean a vasectomy but in his case castration might be better). HE knew he didn’t want kids with her, so HE should have taken precautions to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Another option was he didn’t have to have sex with her at all. He could have found someone he did feel worthy of bearing the fruit of his loins.

But now his is choosing to punish the child because of his issues with the mother. Is this the way a man should face up to his responsibilities? If a man could choose to opt out of child support for the simple reason that he didn’t want to have children with that woman, there would be a lot more kids living in poverty and a population boom at that. There would be no consequence for a man fathering as many children as he could make in a lifetime and then leaving them to fend for themselves. I have often felt that if men could feel a similar connection as the mother during pregnancy, it might not be so easy for them to walk away. But for now the connection is a fiduciary one.

I do not believe any one should be forced to pay child support for a child that is not his or a husband paying for a child conceived outside of a marriage(i.e. if the wife has an affair and becomes pregnant by her lover). I also think no one should have to pay exorbitant amounts of child support. That basically amounts to extortion by court order. But when two people are in a relationship and a child results from that relationship, then step up and be a man.

I say to any women who see Matt Dubay coming, run don’t walk to the nearest exit! It’s quite apparent that he is not capable of handling adult responsibilities. I suggest to him that perhaps he should remain celibate until such time that he gets a clearer understanding of where babies come from.

Make room! Make room!

2009-06-02T22:58:00.002-04:00

As I watched the ABC special Earth 2100 I am reminded of the sci fi books I read as a kid. Many of the books I read held dire consequences for humanity due to greed, waste, corruption, over population, etc. The stories drew me in and scared me silly alot of the time. I constantly worried about my future and the future of any children I might have. I would lay awake at night after seeing tv programs full of prognostications from the experts about man's impact on the planet.

Although much of what I read as a kid has not come to pass, thank heaven there are things that are happening which are just as disconcerting and truly require our attention NOW. Oddly enough we have the capabilities to do something about it NOW. The technologies that could save our planet do exist. There are so many innovative companies out there right now that we should be utilizing in an effort to save the one planet we have.

There are options that have not even been put on the table. I'm amazed that the countries of the African continent have not realized how truly valuable to the planet they could be. Not in oil, gold, or diamonds but in food. They could actually become the bread basket for the world. I have my theory on how it could work but I'm just one person and the governments of African nations would have to learn to cooperate with each other in order for it to be successful. What would it take for them to lay down their arms against each other in order to benefit themselves and the rest of the world?

Actually we must all start to of think saving the planet as our problem not the other guy's. We must become altruistic if we are going to have anything to pass on to the future generations. We must tell politicians all over the world to stop playing games with our lives because they want to have a pissin' contest. We have to remind them every chance we get that we only have one earth and they can't leave it either. We must encourage inventors and entrepreneurs to bring products to market that will improve the quality of life. We must insist on green energy, recycling, and conservation of our forests. We can no longer sit back waiting for someone else to take care of it for us.

While many will consider Earth 2100 drivel or propaganda, it can be seen as a possibility if we do nothing. Some conspiracy theorists will jump on it as part of some grand scheme by some unknown group controlling everything for their own machinations. But let's examine this with an open mind based on the facts that face us at this moment in time. What choice will we make? Do we fight for a better future or do we become the scary stories of my childhood?

Boys will be boys

2009-04-15T23:01:00.002-04:00

Recently I saw a program where young daughters promise their fathers they will remain virgins until they are married. Countless talk shows devote their hours to getting out of control teenage girls back in line. Birth control is still largely viewed as a woman's responsibility so she won't get "herself" pregnant. When pop stars Rihanna and Chris Brown's volatile relationship became public, I was blown away when many young girls thought she must have provoked him and deserved the severe beating she received. I can't tell you how many times I've approached a door at the same time as some guy and he will walk in first and allow the door to close on me.

I understand that because so many young men are coming up without a significant male influence in their lives they may not be getting the invaluable lessons they need to become good men. But we as a society must apply the same standards to our young boys as we do our young girls. We must insist that young men take responsibility for their sexual and social lives. It has to be understood that that being male doesn't automatically make you a man. We must no longer hold it up as macho if a man has many lovers or fathers many children but isn't being a parent to any of them. It is not cool to walk around with your butt hanging out to the world and treating any woman disrespectfully.

It's up to the fathers to take their sons in hand, not just leave them to their own devices. If there isn't a father present then another significant male in the child's life, be it uncle, cousin, grandfather has to have the courage and conviction to step in and give that single mother a hand. Stop holding up celebrities and athletes as role models. Role models should come from within that young boy's immediate community. The OGs these boys should be inspired by should be original gentlemen.

An open letter of gratitude

2009-03-10T23:12:00.004-04:00

These days it can be very difficult to be grateful about much of anything. My personal situation was in a recession long before the rest of the country. As I would sink into the depths of despair and sadness I would find myself spending hours lamenting my situation. I was feeling unloved, isolated and unfulfilled by life.

I failed to recognized that despite my circumstances I had been surrounded by this small amazing circle of friends. Since I have not yet put down roots I'd made friends in several places around the country. The bond made was not broken by time or distance or my own despair.

There was a time when the pain, fear, and self doubt spoke louder than their loving voices. When I thought I'd finally hit bottom and just couldn't live with the pain anymore my heart remembered their voices. In that moment I felt so grateful to feel their love embracing me.

These people are special to me because they love me no matter what is going on in my corner of the world. They give me strength when I have none of my own. They dry my tears and give me hugs even if it's by phone. They don't judge me and are an endless source of encouragement when I feel like chucking everything and giving up.

Recognizing that moment helped me to realize that even though my life is far different than what it use to be and not at all what I thought it would be, I have an endless list of things to be grateful for. That list begins with those beautiful people I have been blessed with. To them I say from the bottom of my heart-

Thank you!

Wow... Rush Limbaugh... Really??

2009-03-10T20:33:00.002-04:00

It's just around fifty days into the Obama Presidency and the insanity and stupidity is at full tilt. The Republican Party is in a mad scramble to regroup and find leadership and a new direction. They have lost their power base and now the playing field is about to be leveled. And in this power vacuum they have relinquished their voice to a radio talk show host.

Conservative Republicans and other detractors can't find anything real to complain about so they come across like kindergartners-if I can't have my way I just won't play. It quickly dissolves into baseless accusations which only serve to stir up fear and hatred. I believe that's how we wound up in Iraq but I digress.

And yet instead of coming together as a party they are imploding. There are no stand outs. While all this infighting is going on, in rushes Rush. He feels his skewed view of politics, race relations, and women's rights should be the views of entire Republican party. Republican leaders kowtow to him and shake in their shoes when he spews his vile messages.

Unless and until Republicans put Limbaugh in his place the Republican party doesn't stand a chance. He will further divide their ranks and run potential members away Limbaugh appeals to that small group of people who share his unenlightened perspective. They keep making reference to taking control back in 2010 but if they keep letting Rush do all the talking and don't regain some direction, they won't even exist in 2010.

New Year, new me, new life

2009-01-12T22:48:00.002-05:00

Ok it's taken me a while to get back to my blog. Sometimes life can take on a life of it's own. But now it's a new year and it's time for a new me.

One thing I've learned over the last few months is to stop looking back. Many of my friends know what I've been going though for some time now. Every day I would push myself to keep going all the while I kept saying over and over I want my old life back. Without realizing it I was setting myself up for a sort of Ground Hog day.

My old life meant days of disappointment and hurt feelings. It was a period of when I let my fears and self doubt overrule my faith and limit my personal growth. I let the naysayers voices overpower the voices of my many supporters. In my old life most every thing I did I was successful at so when I had failures they stopped me from trying again.

Then I had an epiphany. It didn't come from some voice within me. I was watching a program and the man in the interview said the same thing all the time through his ordeal- I want my old life back. And that's exactly what he got. Then it dawned on me that it was time to stop looking back for my old life.

So with the new year it's time to look forward and just be me. It has been a long road to get to where I like myself when I look in the mirror and I'm not afraid to take risks. I owe it to myself to take the path laid out before me and not worry about what waits at the end. I know now I can always deviate if I find it isn't leading me to where I want to be. No matter what it will lead me to my new life.

Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?

2008-09-05T08:46:00.002-04:00

I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend of mine this week. She is someone I consider to be very socially conscientious. She is very passionate about keeping the people she cares about informed about relevant issues barreling down on our already overburdened society. Because I respect her opinions I will read the articles or watch the video she emails me. However some of the material comes across as conspiracy theories utilizing some of the same scare tactics as the main stream media.

We all know we live in scary times. The events of September 11, 2001 really took away our sense of security and wounded our national pride. Everyday there is news of job losses, businesses closing or moving overseas and families losing their homes. People all over the world are suffering at the hands of their governments on one side and extremists on the other. Our livelihoods and the futures of our children are caught in the middle of some very high stakes political games.

So with all this going on around us, there are those who want to keep us in fear from both sides of the table. Although they may have the best of intentions they often come across as Chicken Little. Information is misconstrued and whittled down to just enough bites to support the creator's theories. We want to restore our faith and confidence so we are desperate to believe the onslaught of information.

While there will always be different perspectives on any subject we must be clear minded enough to be able to wade through it to make our own judgments. We can not allow ourselves to be lead around by the nose. As individuals we have to be diligent in investigating the facts. We can never stop thinking for ourselves.

When we do have all the facts and conclude that the situation goes against our best interests then take action. We must take back our power as citizens that we gave over to government and big business. We can do that with our money and our votes. When we see something a corporation is doing that we don't like, don't buy their products. We must remind politicians they work for us, we don't work for them. When there is legislation before them that doesn't benefit us as a whole then we are required to let them know by mail, email, and phone.

We must not let fear and unbridle emotion rule our sensibilities. We must stand up for ourselves when no one else will.

Robbed of my possessions by pathetic wastes of human life

2008-08-12T19:25:00.002-04:00

I could not think of a meaningful title for this entry. Some time in the last 7 days thieves broken into my storage unit and stole all my clothing and some items of sentimental value. As some of my friends now I have hit a rough patch in my life and I had to put my things in storage. What remains of my life is in many boxes that I get to visit from time to time. So I am devastated by this loss. Not only for the clothing items but for the items that I can not replace.

I do not understand what motivated the thieves. They took the time to beat the hasp holding the lock with a rock until it broke to gain access to the unit. They took the time to look through the containers. The reason I know this is because they left a lid behind. These were things I worked hard to pay for. Some of the items they took were given to me by friends long gone from my life. The memories tied to the items were precious to me. These things only had value to me. No one had a right to take my things.

Right now I am very overwhelmed and very sad. I feel powerless and I hate that. I can not afford to replace much of the clothing at this point because I am out of work. And now when I do find a job, I will not have clothes to wear. The police officer said they will probably sell them at a flea market or yard sale. So these pathetic individuals will get next to nothing for items I spent thousands of dollars on. I know wishing them a hellish existence won't do any good but I hope they rot in misery for the rest of their lives.

Better living through chemistry??

2008-08-11T11:42:00.005-04:00

I love to eat. I never miss a meal, made clear by my ever increasing waistline. I enjoy the whole experience. I love to select the items in the grocery store, smell it cooking, and sitting down to devour the finished product is the highlight of my day. Many of my best memories are centered around some delicious meals. I myself am a terrible cook (that's another entry) but I lavish much praise upon those who keep me fed. I'm no different from the other 6.5 billion people on the planet. Food is an integral part of our lives, not just for nourishment but because it brings significant meaning to so many moments in our existence.

As time goes on food gets better. The tide has turned away from high preservative, chemically supplemented food stuffs. We prefer fresh and/or organic vegetables. We don't want our meat full of hormones and antibiotics. The human body, being the incredible machine that it is doesn't know what to do with these strange substances that are developed in someone's test tube and will have all kinds of adverse reactions. We have learned that saccharin can cause cancer. MSG could sometimes make you feel a little dizzy or hyper. Does anyone remember the rather nasty side effect of Olestra chips? This food product was processed in synthetic cooking oil. But scientists continue to seek the holy grail of chemicals that will revolutionize food production. I was recently told about a new food additive being developed to trick the brain into thinking something is sweeter or more savory. It is designed to satiate your need for a particular sensation sooner. The theory is once you are satisfied you will eat less of something and it will aid in weight control. According to the article in Scientific America, this compound is so potent it requires a tiny amount be added to foodstuffs. For food processors the benefit is less sugar or less seasonings needs to be added to a product. But again it is a scientifically engineered chemical. It is not something found in nature and enhanced to be consumable. So what are the side effects and how long will it take to find them out before this item is deemed unsuitable?

Although the recent food shortages have dominated the news we should not succumb to chemistry to feed the world population. Instead of trying to chemically enhance food perhaps scientist should turn their attentions to developing better farming techniques. There are many places around the world that could benefit from revolutionary agricultural discoveries that could make small communities self sustaining. We shouldn't be using corn for fuel for our cars but for food to feed livestock. Farmers should be able to get fair market value for their crops so they won't feel the need to sell to developers who will just put another mall on it. We should stop polluting our waters so fish will repopulate. But the first line of defense is with the consumer. Simply don't buy products with these additives. When the manufacturers see they will not recoup their investment they will eventually pull the product from shelves.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=magnifying-taste&SID

Murdering Innocence

2008-07-23T20:59:00.004-04:00

A recent Supreme Court ruling stated that child rapists can not be executed. The ruling stated that it would go beyond the "evolving standards of decency" in the United States. By those standards it would forbid capital punishment for any crime against an individual other than murder.

It began with the case of the State of Louisiana v Kennedy. Kennedy, 43 was appealing his 2003 death sentence after he was convicted of raping his 8 year old stepdaughter. Kennedy was convicted of sexually assaulting his stepdaughter in her bed. The attack caused severe emotional trauma, internal injuries and bleeding to the child, requiring extensive surgery. Although the High Court acknowledged "the victim's fright, the sense of betrayal, and the nature of her injuries caused more prolonged physical and mental suffering than, say, a sudden killing by an unseen assassin.", they sited the rapist's Eight Amendment rights against cruel and unusual punishment.

We all know child molesters/predators can not be rehabilitated. We never know how many victims they have until they are caught. Given the opportunity to be back in society they will continue to prey upon our little ones until they are caught again. How many lives have to be destroyed before that is considered cruel and unusual? Even after these animals are caught and caged there is a child who is scared for life. No amount of therapy will restore their lost childhood. There will never be enough hugs to take away the nightmares that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. There is a trust that is shattered beyond repair.

Although many do not believe in an eye for an eye, doesn't that child deserve the reassurance that the predator will never be able to hurt anyone else again? I know statistically the death penalty is not a deterrent but it definitely makes sure that guy won't be able to commit the crime again.

Believing in your magic

2008-07-21T13:29:00.003-04:00

I have been very fortunate to have a lot of people pulling for me since I started my project. Writing the book and building the website were definitely learning experiences for me. I have a new found respect for webmasters everywhere.

But ocassionally I will come across a detractor. Someone will come along and tell me I'm not being realistic or I've set my expectations too high. Success is for other people but not for me. Sometimes it is difficult to shut out the negative voices and douse the self doubt.

Successful people do have moments of doubt. They also have many many failures before that moment that changes their lives. There will always be people telling them it's never going to happen or what they were trying to accomplish is impossible. But everything is impossible to someone who never tries. Those of us who choose to take risks are the successful ones no matter what happens. It takes a lot of courage to believe in your magic and live on the strength of your convictions even when others don't see the big picture.

So I will work hard to shut out the naysayers. I know there are 100 times more people cheering me on. It doesn't matte if you don't believe in me as long as I believe in myself.

Life before you

2008-07-07T23:25:00.001-04:00

Life before you

Some of the best parts of my teenage years were spent with a group of 5 guys. We were best buds since I was 13. They were the first people who liked me for me. They were my protectors from the bullies and my shoulders to cry on when I need one.We bonded like a family. We did everything together as brothers and sister. The only thing I didn't do with them was pee standing up. I was the only girl in the group. We were proof that males and females could be just friends.

Of course as we grew up they had girlfriends. We were still pals and continued to do the things we did as buddies. Then one by one my pals feel in love and married. Even though the women in their lives met me and knew of our familial bond something changed after the ring went on. Suddenly I was being excluded from things. I wasn't hanging with the group anymore because the group dynamic had changed. The women in their lives decided they could no longer have female friends. WTF?? My friends were forced to give up a lifelong friendship because of petty insecurity and the need to be territorial.

I have never understood how you can say you love someone but still be suspicious of any relationships they may have had before you came along. Now I can understand if there's some ex girl/boyfriend still hanging around. That can be a red flag for a lot of reasons. But when your significant other is made to cut off platonic friends simply because there is the fear that something could potentially happen, that falls in the category of being just stupid. If it was going to happen it would have before you came along.

I guess since I've not been in love I can't understand this concept of I must have you completely to myself. I've been told it's a natural part of a relationship. But if you are secure in your relationship then you don't need constant reassurance that the person you're with cares about you above all others.

Tick tock, tick tock

2008-07-07T23:18:00.001-04:00

Many people are often surprised when they find out I don't have kids. Almost anytime there are kids around I become their new long lost pal. When I was in college, I'd babysit for extra money. My little guys decided I was the best babysitter in the universe. When I worked as a substitute teacher I was like the Pied Piper.

I just haven't met the right guy who wanted to settle down and have a family. Sadly at 44 I can hear my biological clock going off like Big Ben. Thank goodness these days there isn't a huge stigma attached to having children later in life. Many of my friends married in their 20' or 30's and have kids that are nearing high school or college. They can't understand why I would want to have kids now. They bring up how old I will be when the kid is a certain age. But I will grow old whether I have kids or not. It doesn't take away the desire to be a parent. Or they say well you can always adopt. I'm not infertile, I just don't have anyone to fertilize me. I know I'm not the only person who feels like this. I just wish those who have kids would be a little more sensitive to those of us who don't but would give anything to hear the pitter patter of little feet.

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

2008-07-05T01:09:00.003-04:00

The primaries are over and the votes are counted. On to the big game. But there are still a lot of battle scars that are bleeding out there. Senator Hillary Clinton is still finding this a bitter pill to swallow. Too many of her supporters still sucking on sour grapes.

Senator Clinton cried foul because she felt she was being picked on by the press and other politicians because she was a woman. When you run with the big boys you have to have a thick skin. Nothing makes me crazier than women who want to be treated equally but then when they don't get their way they play the gender card. She and her supporters should be damn proud that she stood up and made it as far as she did. I see it as a victory because she shattered the glass ceiling. Just because she didn't received the nomination should not be seen as a defeat. She stood toe to toe with some impressive candidates and outlasted all (except one) down to the wire. She has cleared the way for the next woman (president).

No more excuses

2008-07-05T01:08:00.001-04:00

There is audacity in hope. There is strength in faith. There is clarity in believing. So now we stand on the edge of history. It's too soon to tell the outcome but exciting nonetheless. What should we take away from this moment in time?

That our heroes don't have to be athletes and actors. That no matter how much others say the odds are stacked against you, if you believe in yourself nothing is impossible. If you listen to your inner voice and block out all the nay sayers then you can go as far as your dreams and desires will take you. What you life can be is entirely up to you.

When you are ready to step outside your comfort zone there will always be people who will try to bring you down. They have let go of their own dreams so they will want to take away yours. Sometimes they don't want you to leave them behind. You might have to step away so you can grow. It's never easy to leave behind what is familiar and safe but in the end you are always better for it. Never be afraid to take risks. Taking risks means you are alive. In the end you'll be glad you did.

So as long as what you truly desire isn't illegal or hurt others then go for it.When the negative self talk starts, shut it down. There are no more excuses for not living the life that makes you you.

Enough

2008-07-05T01:07:00.001-04:00

Who would have ever envisioned a day when a gallon of milk would cost more than a gallon of gas? We are always told there would be flying cars and poverty would be eliminated on the planet by now. But the news is full of stories of rising prices, food shortages, and downsizing worldwide. Governments everywhere play games with the odds because they have lost touch with the common man. We are constantly reminded that our safety is never assured because some nut job might blow himself up at anytime in a crowded area. Simply put, I'm sure we've all had enough. We want our voices to be heard.

One day what if there was a worldwide protest? One 24 hour period where every person around the world went to their presidential palace, local parliament or congress, governor's mansion, city council, village elders meeting place in silent protest. Just gather outside. No speeches of boring empty rhetoric. No chants or hostilities. The only expression would be a sign-ENOUGH.

We have had enough of terrorist taking away our peace of mind and the security of our children. We have had enough of politicians turning a blind eye to our needs and concerns so they can advance their own agendas. We've had enough of big corporations poisoning our air and water or monopolizing markets to shake us for every penny of our hard earned incomes.

So we are here in silent protest. We are taking back our power as citizens of the world to let you know you are on notice. So what's everybody doing December 31, 2008 around midnight?

Planet Earth Calling

2008-07-04T22:48:00.000-04:00

I can remember as early as 10 years old that scientist were sounding the alarm about the dangers of global warming. Back then we just thought there were a few crackpots running around like Chicken Little.

But the realty is coming at us like a runaway freight train. We can see it coming but we are standing on the tracks pretending we don't hear the warning bells. What is it going to take before we stop living in denial and do something to turn this around?

Bring green should not be a corporate slogan or ad campaign. What is so frustrating is that we have the tools and technology to turn the tide. There are so many brilliant people out there taking small steps but their voices are being shut down by politicians and big corporations who haven't yet figured out how to get their slice of the pie. In the meantime the train is picking up speed. We better do something before we get run over.

The Old Guard has Forgotten

2008-06-01T20:52:00.000-04:00

I wrote this at the beginning of the Democratic primaries. I thought
it was so funny how certain Black politicians were so arrogant and
huffy when Senator Obama threw his hat into the ring. There were a
few who said he should have come to them first for their blessings.
Since he didn't come to them "for permission" they were going to put
their support behind Senator Clinton. WTF??! In the last 30 years
since the civil rights movement too many Black politicians have have
been sitting on their big butts, just going with the flow. They have
done nothing to further the cause of civil rights, even though many
of them were there during the early days. They've forgotten the
struggle and sacrifice it took to get them there. None of them stood
up to take on this particular challenge.

Although Senator Obama isn't the first Black to run for office, he
has the most realistic chance. What sets Obama apart is his overall
perspective of the GOP. He is not willing to go along with the status
quo. He is a breath of fresh air in the stale closed windowed world
of American politics.

To these Black politicians I say shame on you! Grow up. You're just
mad it isn't you.

Boom baby! I'm back!

2008-06-01T20:41:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you thought I'd abandoned my blog. Yes, I know it's been
months but I didn't vanish from the face of the earth. I've been
putting my energy into a personal project the is now complete. Boy
did it take a lot longer than I thought it would. It's been a
learning experience for me. Most of the time I was flying by the seat
of my pants. I was also very fortunate to have a few good friends
looking over my shoulder like guardian angels. Many thanks to those
guys.

I know my readership dropped into the toilet. I'm hoping you will
come back soon and bring more friends with you. It's been a long time
but I know my efforts will be rewarded.

Weighing the average

2007-01-31T09:57:00.003-05:00

The average American woman wears a size 14. Everyday we are bombarded with images that make us feel fat and out of shape. Now it seems that even being healthy is looked down upon. I can not believe the press is blasting Tyra Banks for gaining weight. Geesss can’t you find something else to focus on. What is worse they are saying it is ugly. Even though I’m not fan of hers, most guys would feel lucky if she even looked in their direction no matter what size she is. This woman is 5’10” and by her own words weighs 161lbs. What in the world is wrong with that???

I would like to meet someone who maybe in their 30’s or 40’s who still weighs the same as they did in their teens. If I do, I’m talking to someone who probably has an eating disorder or suffering some other esteem based issue. Let’s get real, as we age, we put on weight. I am so glad I finally filled out in my late 20’s. Before that I was a living stick person and I never want to be that skinny again. I was so thin I was mistaken for a young boy on two occasions. For a long time the focus was celebrities who were too thin and their effect on impressionable young girls. Now it seems the target is someone who is the appropriate weight for their height.

There are lots of people feeling this need to be perfect. NOBODY is perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. Who in the world is setting these unrealistic standards?? I want to know how many of these people are in perfect shape. Yes it would be great if we could all be at our ideal weight and eat all the Chunky Monkey ice cream Ben and Jerry could crank out. If given a choice between working out or the Monkey...for those of you who know me, you know what I’m running for. And I dare you to ask for a spoonful!

Learn to love yourself just as you are. You are beautiful in so many ways. If you want to lose a few then do it because you want to, not because you want to impress someone. If you couldn’t get their attention when you were heavier then they are probably not someone you would really want to know anyway.

I’m a few pounds from my goal weight. But there’s a restaurant across the street from where I work that I eat at so often my co workers have banned me from going there. My mother often wonders why that pint of Monkey never lasts more than 2 days when it says it serves four (four what? dwarfs?). So until I get serious about losing those last pounds, I’ve learned to love my belly fat. I think of it as my winter reserves. But when I’m ready, I’ll do it for me, not because someone else says I don’t meet their standards.

You can't cure stupid

2007-01-31T09:57:00.001-05:00

First it was Mel Gibson (anti Semitic comments), then it was Michael Richards (racist tirade), and now Isaiah Washington (anti gay remarks). All have made public as**s of themselves and sought forgiveness by of all things going into rehab. Frankly I never knew you could seek counsel for being a jerk. If that were the case at sometime or another we’d all be in that line. Personally I have always believed in the adage whatever comes up, comes out. Much to their dismay what came out of their mouths was caught on tape and made public. So now it can all be made right by going to a therapist. Please don’t fall for this one.

I would rather know how someone feels about me upfront so I can steer clear of them. There is nothing I hate more than someone who will smile in my face and then turn around and talk about me behind my back. Would they have sought help if these incidents weren’t splashed all over the news? So now we know how they feel in private. No doubt others close to them knew as well but turned a blind eye (or deaf ear whatever the case may be). They only hang their heads in shame because their careers are on the line now. Personally I wouldn’t give another nickel to see any of them perform again. Yes I believe people can change. But this change could have and should have taken place long before they were making headlines and the dollars were at stake. These are grown men who are well aware of the state of the world. There are no pills or quick fixes for just being plain stupid.

I didn't invent commitment

2007-01-31T09:57:00.000-05:00

Many friends have often asked why am I still single? Trust me it’s not by choice but by circumstance. I have often equated the men that are attracted to me to a box of chocolates. They are look great on the outside but when I take a bite they are full of that orange crap I hate. I haven’t yet met a guy who is ready for commitment to be honest, at least not to me. For some reason guys don’t take me seriously. I haven’t yet put my finger on why. But if you figure it out, please feel free to let me know.

I like every other woman on the planet have dreamed of my ideal guy since I discovered boys don’t have cooties. As far as I can tell he doesn’t live within a thousand miles of me. The ones who do live in proximity seem hell bent on playing little mind games until the next one comes along. So what’s a girl to do?

So as I face another birthday closing in on me, I am once again pondering where have all the good men gone? Sigh... If you know of one, give him my number. My standards are decreasing with each passing year. But for heaven sake, he must at least have his own teeth!

Living his dream

2007-01-14T23:49:00.002-05:00

I grew up learning about Dr King’s activism in my history lessons. I never really appreciated the efforts and sacrifices of the civil rights leaders, movers, and shakers of the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. After all I grew up in a middle class neighborhood. I went to excellent schools. I never knew color or race (until we moved to the South but that’s another story). It is as an adult that I truly understand the struggle. We as a people, as a society have come far, although we still have a long way to go. What a wonderful thing it is that we are willing to travel that path. It hasn’t taken some alien invasion from outer space for us to realize that we can overcome prejudice and ignorance to see each other as people instead of skin colors. There will be those who chose to live in ignorance and fear. Politicians and the media will continue to try to manipulate us keep with stereotypes to keep nonsense going. But it is within us all to rise above that. I think everyone should feel pride in their heritage and cultures. Sometimes we forget we are all members of the human race. Good or bad we all contribute to human history. For right now there are no Dr King Day sales at the stores, no Dr King greeting cards, no King Day decorations to pack away (thank heavens). Instead of being a commercial farce, it has become a day of service for many. People make time to volunteer to help others less fortunate in communities all over the country. It brings us under a common umbrella of caring and kindness and respect for others. It brings out the best in all of us. Eventually that will carry over into our everyday lives.