ponderings of a mountain girl

The GOOD NEWS

2008-05-03T08:40:00.005-04:00

God has been asking me some really tough questions lately. Do you really love ME? Do you really believe in My Son? Do you love your neighbors and your enemies? Do you love your family? I kept thinking 'Yes, Yes, why do you keep asking?'

But now I get it.... A friend of mine loaned me a book called ONE THING YOU CAN'T DO IN HEAVEN.
I say I love the Lord with my mouth and I say that I really believe in Jesus and I say that love my neighors and family. But words are easy. If I really loved them like I say I do then I would be sharing the gospel with them.

God has called us ALL to be missionaries whether its across the seas or in our own home. If we have heard and believed the gospel then we are qualified and expected to share it.

If we believe in God and his Son, Jesus Christ, then we believe that what the bible says is true. And if we believe that then we must believe that Hell is a very real place and those that don't put their faith in Christ will go there when they die. If we read our bible we know that we are not promised our next breath. That each breath we breathe could be our last and once we breathe our last breath there are no more chances. There is an urgency to sharing the gospel... it can't wait forever.

I have often bought into the lie of tolerance. And by that I mean to say.. that I felt some how wrong in sharing my faith with others that I presumed weren't going to be open to it. I didn't want people to feel offended, because I believe that their beliefs are wrong. But there is absolute truth and everyone needs to hear it. and who am I to judge who is open to it or not. Only God knows a heart. All I can do is lovingly share the truth that I know with everyone I meet.

Its a scary undertaking to face those people who are lost and present the gospel... especially if its family or close friends. But if we pray for God to open their hearts and for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can't loose. If they give their hearts to God... we win. If they promise to think about it... we win (we have planted a seed). If they get mad and stomp off ... we win (I'll betcha they are thinking about what we have said and besides we have been obedient and we can't control others, just ourselves)

So step out and share your faith.... that's what I am going to do.

Oprah and Tolle Eckhart

2008-04-28T16:50:00.002-04:00

I was plundering around on the internet today and happened upon a post talking about Tolle Eckhart's book and Oprah. The author, Greg Boyd, gave a book review. But it was great. He had alot of knowledge about eastern religions and how all these philosophies in Eckhart's book are basically just rehashes and not new thoughts at all.
If you've had questions about the whole book that have been unanswered then this will probably clarify alot of things. It did for me.
So here's the link.....gregboyd.blogspot.com

confessions of a former backslider

2008-04-19T00:21:00.001-04:00

confessions of a former backslider I am not the brightest bulb in the pack. (Okay.. I know.. to those of you who know me ... that's a pretty obvious statement)

I have been loading myself up with 'works' over the past few years thinking that I am pleasing God with all that I do. But in truth alot of the 'works' actually separate me from Him not draw me to Him. God's ultimate priority for me is to have a close and intimate relationship with Him. And whether I am busy with worldly things or busy with church things.... busy is still busy. Busyness leads me to believe that I just don't have the time to spend in prayer or reading the bible, because I need to 'do' something for God.

Kind of comical when you really think about it. What could I do for God? Hmmmm. He created and sustains the entire universe. He is sovereign over all time. His breath sustains my very existence. The list goes on and on... and yet some how I have allowed myself to believe that I am just to busy 'doing' things for Him to spend time with Him. OOOhhhh, pride is such a sneaky, nasty little sin.

But here is the backsliding confession.... after years of backsliding I convinced myself some how that the grace that God merifully provided for me thru His Son, Jesus Christ, wasn't enough. That God couldn't possibly just forgive me...like it says nearly a billion times throughout scripture (that goes back to that whole brightest bulb thing). Confession and repentence couldn't possibly be what God wanted. He wanted me to do things... lots of things... make up for lost time... I had to pay Him back some how for all the years I have missed out on.... man...I am dense. (That plan is not found in the bible anywhere. I guess I must have just wrote my own chapter.)

Psalms 51:16-17
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

I think it goes back to the whole "Babel" mentality. They thought they could work hard enough to build a structure, a tower, that would reach to God. But just as they didn't have a hope of doing so neither do I. I could work 24/7 for the entire rest of my life and never accumulate enough works to please God or satisfy His requirements. All those works stacked up would barely even get me off the ground. If that is my motive and mindset for service then my service is in vain.

The only hope I have is thru Christ. He knew I'd never be able to satisfy the requirements of God's holy law, so instead of encouraging me to work harder and just 'do my best', He went to the cross to bear something that I could never carry... the weight of my sin along with everyone else's. My only hope still is in Christ... thru His covering.

I don't say all of this to say that works aren't important. But our motives for service are everything. First, God wants me broken and humbled so that I can confess and repentent of sin... and then when my heart is clean and my relationship with God is restored that's when the works happen... but only with the right motive. Because I am so grateful for God's mercy that I want to please Him... which means no works of any kind can come between me and God. They can't steal His time. And they have to be His will... not mine.

ALL SERVICE IS FUELED BY SITTING AT THE FEET OF JESUS. Our time with God and time in prayer and the word feeds our service. If we have no relationship with God or we've minimized it until its negligible then the things we do lack power... that of the Holy Spirit. Only works that God calls us to do that we do with pure motives will last thru eternity.

freedom of speech

2008-03-25T16:03:00.000-04:00

freedom of speech
Current mood: thankful

As Americans we have freedom of speech. We believe it is our right to say what ever we choose when we choose it and to whom we choose it .... but God has a little different perspective on our "freedom of speech".

Ephesians 4:29-31 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.

Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

I have been memorizing this scripture and let me tell ya... its alot easier to memorize than it is to live.

The part about not talking dirty isn’t that hard for me now, but years ago I cursed like a sailor and said things that would make a sailor turn shades of red, but thankfully I have been able to clean the profanity out of my speech... but the next part is the one that gets me. "Say only what helps, each word a gift."

OOOHHHH... now that’s a tough one. When I yell at the kids or I am sarcastic to my husband that’s not being a ’help’ or I am critical of a friend or judgemental towards an enemy. that’s not exactly using my words as a gift.

And the icing on the cake is the forgiveness part.... man... it is so nice to be able to go to God and ask for forgiveness and recieve it with no strings attached, because Christ paid our penalty, but its a whole ’nother animal to be able to forgive others with that same forgiveness.... especially when we believe that we are justified in being angry at that person.

Forgiving people when we feel justified in our anger is the hardest. When the world is constantly telling you that you have every "right" to be mad and hold a grudge. The world would have you believe that you are a fool for extending forgiveness to someone that has wronged you. But... that’s exactly what God has called us to do.....

So I guess the big question is... who do we believe to be true... the world or God?

Good Friday

2008-03-21T16:16:00.002-04:00

For so many people the only thing "good" about Good Friday is the fact that they don't have to go to work or school and they get a long weekend. I am so thankful that Good Friday means so much more to me.

I found this quote.......

Does God really love us? I say look to the crucified Jesus. Look to the old rugged cross. By every thorn that punctured His brow. By every mark of the back lacerating scourge. By every hair of his beard plucked from his cheeks by cruel fingers. By every bruise which heavy fists made upon His head. God said, "I love you!" By all the spit that landed on his face. By every drop of sinless blood that fell to the ground. By every breath of pain which Jesus drew upon the cross. By every beat of His loving heart. God said, I love you. ---Billy Lobbs

I am so thankful that my Savior did not come to be served like an earthly king and sit in a castle on top of a hill, gaurded and gated. He didn't separate Himself from the ordinary and afflicted and sinful. He ate with the tax collectors, gave forgiveness and hope to the adulterer, and healing to the blind, lame, and sick.

He came to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many. I am so thankful that even though He could have called legions of angels or literally just struck dead His persecuters at any point He choose to endure the suffering and the shame so that I might have a right relationship with the Father and spend eternity in His presence in heaven where there is no suffering, no tears, no pain, or sickness.

When people who don't know Jesus look at the cross I wonder what they see..... violence, ugliness... I am not sure. But when I look at the cross I am overwhelmed by the love and compassion that the Lord has for all of us sinners.

And although it is a sad day in itself, because our Savior was crucified....we don't have to stay sad long.. because in the famous words of S M Lockeridge, it may be friday now.... but "Sunday's comin!!"

Prayer

2008-03-14T19:33:00.004-04:00

The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion.

He laughs at our toil and mocks our wisdom,
But trembles when we pray.

---Samuel Chadwick

This quote reminds me that I can't do it on my own. Alot of times I let the busyness of life overtake me and I wonder why I live so defeated... duh... Its God that makes the difference not my vain effort. God has grown me so much over the past year or so. And the more He grows me the more I see how small and unimportant I am and how amazing and wonderful and sovereign and capable He is. I am beginning to understand Paul when he said... that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. Our inability makes Gods ability that much more evident.

Chosen people

2008-02-17T15:30:00.002-05:00

I reread THE HIDING PLACE by Corrie Ten Boom last year. I don't know if a book has ever made an impact on me like that one has...aside from the Bible. I had read it maybe 10 yrs or so ago, but I really don't remember being moved by it or that interested in it. This time it was a different story.

I couldn't put it down. There were so many things that jumped out at me. I remember one particular that really hit. When Corrie was finally taken in. She had the flu and had been in the bed for days with a fever. At the time I got to that chapter I had picked up a stomach bug, so I read that section while I was sick and not feeling well myself. I just kept thinking what a blessing it was to lay in my nice, warm, cozy bed while I was sick. It was just unimaginable to me to have endure what people did during that period.

I don't know if its my age or what, but I just have such a hard time getting my head wrapped around the whole idea of the Holocaust. Since rereading THE HIDING PLACE, I have also read Elie Wiesel's biography. It is so hard for me to understand the mentality of those in the world who did nothing. I can 'get' why Hitler and his crew did what they did. I understand evil.. . I guess indifference and apathy is where I struggle.

When I think about this I wonder what most average, everday folks around the world actually knew about what was going on. I know that the leaders of the countries had to know, but I wonder how informed everyone else was. I want to believe they knew very little, because that makes it so much easier to understand.

I also wonder to myself... what would I have thought. It is so easy to see from the vantage point where I sit today and say that I would have cared. I want to believe that I would. But then I ask myself ...."how many places are there in the world today where people are persecuted and suffer horribly that I am apathetic to?"

I feel so insulated. I almost at times don't feel like I live in reality. I sit in my home here and it is hard to really fathom how the rest of the world lives. As Americans. even our own government isn't grounded in reality. We spend pretend money on things that don't really matter. Our kids think that they are living in poverty when they don't have the lastest gaming system or cell phone. We talk about being descriminated against, but even that alot of times seems so petty compared with the rest of the world's troubles.

I don't know why the Holocaust has gotten my attention so. I studied about it in high school and college and I remember thinking it was bad, but then forgot about it as quickly as I had heard about it. I think it may have to do with the fact that I really believe that we are doomed to repeat past mistakes if we don't study them and really get to the bottom and learn the lessons no matter how painful. So I guess this is the beginning of an education on the Holocaust.

I also have been reading a book about Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. It is written as a historical account. It is interesting to see how these three religions have interacted since about 70 AD. Having read thru most of that book I wonder if the Holocaust wasn't really stopped just because it was Jews. I hate to think that . But once you see in black and white how Jews and Christians have interacted throughout history. I am really ignorant on that subject as it pertains to the last 100 years. But I am thirty three and I can remember people saying things like 'jew someone out of something' or terms like that from my childhood... which was the late 70's to early 80's.

I can't really understand the issue especially for Christians. But maybe there is where my ignorance comes into play. I don't understand completely the relationship between God and the Jews, but there is alot that I don't fully understand. I know that they are His chosen people. Some people find that offensive... I really don't understand that, but I really don't feel one way or the other about it. God is God. He can do as He chooses. If He wants Jews to be His chosen people then fine with me. To me that means that I should pray for them and seek to protect them not destroy them and talk negatively of them.

But its like with so many things. 15 people read the bible and come away with 15 different interpretations. All I can do is rely on the Holy Spirit's guidance and pray that I would understand the truth.

Wow... I didn't mean to just ramble on... But I did.

persecuted church

2008-02-09T15:07:00.000-05:00

My eyes have just recently been opened to the persecuted church. I heard a man named Patrick Sookhdeo speak on a Focus on the Family broadcast. (I didn't get to hear all of it though). It is amazing how isolated we can be even in the midst of all the technology we have.

I guess in the back of my mind I knew that Christians were persecuted for their beliefs, but unfortunately, it was not something I thought or prayed about a great deal... or honestly ... at all. But after hearing him speak I decided to educate myself. ( I have earned several degrees from Google University... hahhaa) So I got on line and googled his name and the words "persecuted christians." I found out so much.

It is just heartbreaking... and convicting. To think.. we as Christians in America can meet together with no fear of being of our church being raided and our bibles being confiscated and yet we opt to lay in bed on Sunday morning and sleep late. We can share the gospel freely and openly with very few restrictions and yet we keep the good news to ourselves.

I talked to some ladies that I meet with on Fridays for prayer and they had no real clue about the persecution that Christians endure in other countries either. I really don't think that we are out of the norm.... sad to say. Even though we have access to the whole world I think that alot of times we don't want to be bothered with anything that isn't happening in our own neighborhood.

It is amazing how God works though. I heard Patrick Sookhdeo on the radio and that very night my son asked me to read to him about what heaven was like. So I turned to Revelations and read to him. After he went to sleep I just decided to read the whole book.. not normally something I would do, but as I was reading. in chapter 6 several verses jumped out at me.....

v9 When the Lamb broke the fifth seal. I saw under the alter the souls of all who had been martyred for the word of God and for being faithful to in their testimony. They shouted to the Lord and said, "O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you judge the people who belong to this world and avenge our blood for what they have done to us? Then they were given a white robe and told to rest a while longer until the full number of their brothers and sisters-- their fellow servants in Jesus who were to be martyred--had joined them

Then the next night my son asked me to show him in his bible the verse he currently is memorizing... I Peter 5:6. After reading the verse he randomly pointed to a block of text on the facing page and asked me to read it. It was 1 Peter 4:12-19 which talks about how we shouldn't be surprised at trials and being persecuted for our faith. And how we should keep on doing what is right even in the face of persecution and trust the Lord.

Its funny how the Holy Spirit illuminates what he wants you to see. I have been looking at that page in 1Peter for weeks now trying to help my boys memorize it.... but only at the right time did those other verses stand out.

I feel a burden... as we all should... to pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ that are living with persecution. I have had to ask for forgiveness for my ignorance and apathy and indifference. I hope that this lights a spark in anyone who reads it to do the same. And now that I know this truth I pray that I am faithful in telling others so that they may pray also.

Prayer crosses space and time and distance. Our prayers are heard by our Father in heaven and there is nothing that is out of his reach.

If you are interested in more info here are some great sights I found.

Open Doors USA
International Day of Prayer
Voice of the Martyr

a few political thoughts

2008-02-08T15:59:00.000-05:00

Well, Super Tuesday is in the rear view mirror. Its looking like the Republican party is swinging out towards left field.... I guess whether that is a bad thing depends on who you are.

Mitt Romney gave his farewell speech.. probably one of the best speeches he has given thus far.. maybe he should have been writing his own speeches all along. Now we are down to McCain and Huckabee... two very liberal republicans. I have heard many people say that they would NEVER vote for McCain, but I think you need to be careful with your nevers.

I am still sort of in shock that the republican party for the first time... maybe ever.. doesn't have a true conservative candidate. I became elligible to vote in 1993 and I have voted in every election since. Most of the time I have a small feeling deep inside that I am choosing the lesser of two evils, but each year that feeling grows greater and greater.

It will be interesting to see how the rep party as a whole reacts to the recent turn of events and even more interesting to see who McCain will pick for VP. Romney was super complementary to him when introducing him after he stepped out... maybe he was trying to brown nose to get that vp spot. But I find it very unlikely that McCain would go for a vp that is as conservative as Romney... allthough he would probably make a great one.

The democrats haven't been quite as interesting. Hillary has went from ripping Obama's head off to basically engaging in a lovefest with him at times. Who knows? I like Obama. Even though I don't believe in a thing he is pushing for. He is inspiring and engaging. The dreamer side of me buys it all hook, line, and sinker. I am ready for a new America when he thru talking, but then a few seconds later the true pragmatist comes back out and that warm fuzzy feeling is gone. His competitor, Mrs. Clinton, absolutely grates me to the core. She is like fingernails down a chalkboard.

Really none of the parties represent me... maybe I am a closet independent. I believe that our government should be fiscally responsible. We should balance the books each year. We should only spend what we have and we shouldn't spend anything until we pay off our gigantic debt. We should be the generation that sucks it up and makes it right for future generations.... not a very popular mindset...

I believe in healthcare for everyone... but not provided by our government. I believe that our government has way too much power and they have abused it. I don't know about you, but I have been to government offices before.. take for instances the DMV... I do not want the same people running the DMV in charge of my healthcare. no way.

Enough... I could go on for days and days about pork spending and all of the other abuses of the power that they have been given, but it just raises my bp to no avail.... so I won't.

r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-y

2008-01-26T18:39:00.000-05:00

I have just recently started to homeschool the Banimal and a friend loaned me a really neat little curriculum called Five in a Row. It takes children's library books and makes at least a weeks worth of lessons out of them. The first one I am going to do is called Katy and the big Snow.

Okay.... by this point you are probably wondering what this has to do with responsibility. Well, the theme of Katy and the big Snow is that Katy finally gets an opportunity to work and fulfill her responsibilities. As I was preparing the lessons and deciding how I would go about everything I realized that I should really get a concrete definition of what responsibility means. We use the word often with our boys, but I don't know that I have ever explained it to them.

I just couldn't come up with a defintion that I liked so I ended up lookiing it up in a dictionary. And then I had a blast from the past. I spent nearly every night in the 6th grade writing the word 'responsibility'. I had a teacher that would make the whole class write the word 500 times every time someone in class misbehaved.

I remember alot of writer's cramp that year.... but here is the sad part. I probably wrote that word over 10, 000 times in her class, but in a year's time she never took the time to fully explain what it means. We left knowing how to spell a word... which is great... but we had no clue what those letters stood for. Looking back, it seems like her time would have been better spent trying to help us to understand what true responsibility really meant.... personally, socially, corperately....

It seems like in our world there are way too many people that can spell it, but don't understand what it means.

fear

2008-01-18T15:34:00.000-05:00

I think that in the society that we live in today it is hard not to be overcome with fear. Everywhere you turn someone is bringing up some new thing that you hadn't ever thought of to be fearful about.

I have quite a few well intentioned friends that send me these 'must read' emails. They are about new ways to be carjacked and scammed. And then there are the ones where someone in some place you've never heard of has some random something happen... but everyone needs to be aware of it. This past Autumn I got an email about a kid that decided to pile up leaves and hide in them and his dad didn't know and ran over him with a truck.

You hear of children being abducted from their own yards.. and of insane people cutting babies out of pregnant women. You watch Oprah and realize that should your minivan wreck into a body of water that you are not prepared to rescue yourself and your kids. You watch the news and they tell you about meth that is made to look and taste like candy. Of course, I don't want some horrible thing to befall me or my family... but my goodness... the knowledge of all of the things that could possibly go wrong is insane. We can't eat spinach, because we might get food poisoning and die.... we can't play in the leaves, because we might get run over by a truck. on and on and on and on.

I tell myself that I trust the Lord with all my heart, yet when I watch Megadisasters or one of those shows about crazy natural disasters that maybe, possilby, might happen and I feel my anxiety level rise and my stress level shoot up.

Life is risky business and in the end.... no one gets out alive. But I think sometimes we should spend a little less time worrying and fretting about what 'could' happen and just live a little. God doesn't promise us that nothing bad will ever happen to us, but He does say that He will never give us more than we can bare, that He can use any situation to make us more like His Son, and that He will always be there with us... no matter what we go thru... to give us His peace and comfort.

So when I flip the channels and see the financial news talking about impending economic crisis or the weather channel talking up the next possible disaster, I just take a deep breath and realize that My Heavenly Father spoke the very planet on which I stand on into existence.... so I am in good hands.

learning to read

2008-01-14T13:43:00.000-05:00

I started 'officially' teaching the Banimal to read this morning. Scary thought. He has been asking me for a while and I told him he had to learn his letters and the sounds first. He accomplished that, so I went and bought the book I had decided to use.

Who would think that something that you learn to do in kindergarten could be that scary for me to teach. But I just keep thinking that everything he will do in his academic career will be built on this foundation. I hope that I don't let him down. But... after I thought it thru I calmed down a little. Most of the greatest minds were taught to read by their mothers and fathers who had little to no education themselves. So with that thought I embarked on this journey.

I was pretty uneventful this morning when I did his first lesson. He breezed thru it and I only had to correct him once. Even Pteradactyl boy jumped in and did the lesson with us. He is still working on recognizing his letters, but he got the hang of m and s as quickly as the Banimal. Who knows, maybe I'll kill two birds with one stone... so to speak. He may pick up alot as I teach the Banimal. That's the way its been with most everything else.

I was surprised at how well the adapted to the new schedule I came up with. But I did make it with them in mind. We do a 'sitting at the table being still activity' like learning to read followed by a 'moving around one' like playing games or doing chores. I think with both of them being so young still I would be shooting myself in the foot to do anything that required more than 15-20 mins of sitting still. I noticed the reading lesson took about 15 mins and towards the end they were fidgety.

Well, one day down..... thousands more to go.

MORE POLITICS

2008-01-05T15:23:00.000-05:00

I didn't watch much of the coverage on Iowa.... not that there wasn't enough. Every news channel is running their own little breakdown of what happened. I don't know that I really believe that it even matters that much what Iowa or New Hampshire or South Carolina... etc .... think. Those are just little fish bowls. I don't see how any of those states would come close to being representitive of the US as a whole.

Like I said in the previous post... I am not a democrat. But I do keep up with what is going on with our kooky counterparts. I still really think that Obama is the best of the bunch. I caught some snippets of his speeches and he is really gettng or he has a great speech writer... or both.

I can't wait to see what Hillary does over the next few weeks. She can see that Obama is a huge threat so I believe in true Hillary fashion she is going to show her fangs and go after him with negative attack ads. Which, in my opinion, is great, because it will sink her ship. Now from a purely republican stand point I hate to see her not get the nomination. I really think that if she is the dem nom that people will come out of the woodwork to vote against her which is great for the rep party.

I honestly don't know that I could sleep at night knowing that she is at the helm of the ship I am on. You know, its funny that I can't stand her now, because I used to just love her. Of course, at that time I was in college with no husband and no sons and I was a member of NOW (scary, huh?). My how things change.

As far as the rep. side of Iowa. There isn't much to say. One of the biggest contenders didn't even show up. So I don't know that what happened there even matters. Although, I did have one thought. I saw some footage of Huckabee jamming out on an electric guitar and it reminded me so much of another Governor of Arkansas that became President that played the saxophone. hhhhhmmmmm. Do you have to be musically inclined to get voted in to office there?

Politics......

2008-01-01T16:40:00.000-05:00

Yuck!!!! Man... what a depressing thought. I can't believe that it is election time.

Don't get me wrong... from a disconnected perspective I love politics. If I imagine that all of these less than stellar candidates will have no impact on my life... I love the whole process. But when I come back to reality and realize that one of these people will be making decision that will effect almost every area of my life.. that's when I get queezy.

From an unattached perspective the politicians antics and audacity is almost comical. They constantly change their views according to their audience.. .and in their minds they have no clue that anyone is really keeping track. They give these vague answers that really don't answer anything. And then you kick in all the personal stuff... the tabloid type news about them and its like a side show for your own personal entertainment and amusement.

BUT.... like I said, eventually reality comes crashing down on me and it hits me that in 10 months I am going to have to enter a voting both after alot of prayer and consideration and vote for one of these jokers. And then whoever the American public deems least likely to ruin us all will take office, eeeekkkk!!!! Its like a bad dream.

I am typically not a Democrat, but I will vote for whatever party I feel best represents me. So I'll start there.....

Hillary Clinton... The thought of that woman running our country runs cold shivers down my spine. Alot of people are under the impression that women will vote for her just because she is a woman. I think that is insulting. And most women I know don't really have any warm fuzzy feelings when it comes to her. I think that Bill was pretty low down in alot of ways, but I think he had alot of personality. Even though, he was far from perfect people could identify with him. Hillary has about as much personality as a Stepford wife.

Barack Obama.... Now even though I don't plan on voting for him I could sleep at night should he become President. I don't agree with alot of his ideas, but I feel that he is thoughtful and does want to make a better America. But on the downside.... I don't know if he has the kind of experience to make the cut. And then there is the fact that he isn't a good ole white boy. To me, it should not make a difference. And the PollyAnna side of me would like to think that most Americans would feel the same way... but I am not so sure that is the case. Sad to say.

Oh yeah... I can't forget my sort of fellow North Carolinian, John Edwards. He has nice hair.... well, that about concludes all I have to say about him. I just don't think he can get it done. Who knows, maybe he'll surprise me.

Then we have the republicans.....

Its even more sad....and I am one, so that is scary

Rudy Gulliani... I am not sure about him I think he would probably make a good vice-Pres. But I am just not sure about him being the man. His platform mainly seems to be playing on peoples sentiment from 9-11. I guess his actions during that time show that he is good under pressure... but the Pres has more to tackle than just terrorism... although that is pretty important.

Mitt Romney...I kind of like him, but I am not 100% sure that I could vote for him. I can't really get a feel for how everyone really feels about him being LDS. I have alot of Christian friends that believe that its a deal breaker. But living here in the Bible belt its hard to gauge how the rest of the country really feels about that. I have seen his nice looking family with him in their perfect pictures, but I haven't heard a whole lot about how he really feels about the big issues.

And then there is Fred Thompson... he could have went all the way, but now that the writer's strike is happening I think he is sunk. hheehhe!!!!!!! I think if he is going to do anything he is going to have to muster up a heck of a lot more enthusiasm than he has in the past few months. He might make an okay vp as well.

And how could I forget Mr. Huckabee. I am going to have to do a little more research before I make a comment on him. I am just not sure how I feel about him.

And then their is Ron Paul. I have to say ... I kind of like the guy... in a crazy, sort of demented way. He is really a liberatarian dressed up in Rep clothes. I am not sure if he thinks everyone has forgotten about his past go at it. I don't think he has a snow balls chance at being elected but I sure do like to muse about life under lib. rule. No IRS... No federal gov... it just brings a smile to my face..... oh wait... what was that I heard... oh man... it was reality knocking at my door. Okay, I am over the whole smiling thing.

Man, that is a depressing list. and I haven't even really began to think about state and local politcs...ugh.

But I can take heart, because I know that no matter what becomes of this whole political mess that the Lord is in control.

2008-01-01T15:58:00.000-05:00

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the
Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but
this is what they heard;

'Heavenly Father
We come before you today
To ask your forgiveness and
To seek your direction and guid ance.
We know Your Word says,
'Woe to those who call evil good'
But that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium
And reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and
Called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness
And called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn
and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists
And called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline
Our children and called it
Building self esteem.
We have abused power
And called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's
Possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air
With profanity and
Pornography and called it
Freedom of speech and expression
We have ridiculed the time
Honored values of our
Forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God,
And know our hearts today;
Cleanse us from every sin
And set us free.

Amen!'

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked Out
during the prayer in protest.

In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is
pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 Of those
calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international
requests for copies of this prayer from India ,Africa and Korea .

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio Program, 'The
Rest of the Story,' and received a larger response to this program
than any other he has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our Nation and
wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'one
nation under God.'

2007-11-29T20:04:00.000-05:00

I had the wierdest thing happen the other day. A very good friend of mine has been having some strange symptoms. She is definately not a hypochondriac or the type of person that complains about the little stuff. So for her to even say anything really got my attention.

She beat around the bush for a few days, but finally told me what she was thinking. She thought that she might possibly have ovarian cancer. Woah!!! She was in tears thinking about what would happen to her kids and so on. I was just in shock. She is the kind of person that is really in tune with herself and I knew she wouldn't even say it out loud unless that was really what she thought.

She was going to go in to the doctor the next day to have an ultrasound to see and she asked me to pray for her. I began praying that evening, but it was different. I hate to say this, but I just had a different intensity. I felt guilty... I should be praying for every need with that kind of focus and intensity. I started to pray and naturally I prayed that this would not be so... and if it were so that God would do a miracle and just take this away... but this is where it got wierd....

I began to think back over the past. A year or so ago our pastor read from a journal of a lady that passed away from cancer. And in her journal in her dying moments she said that she was thankful for the cancer.. yes, you heard me right... thankful. It had given her such focus and clarity. She loved her family better. She loved the Lord better. Everything she did, she did at a greater level . She said that if given the opportunity to go back and change things that she would choose this same path. And not to long ago I spoke with someone who was terminally ill with cancer and they said the same thing.

I had this moment where I really didn't know what to pray. I know that God says that He wants to give us the desires of our heart, so it isn't wrong to ask for something. But I also know that sometimes God sends us down a path that we would never choose in order to bring about the change He has promised to complete in us... to be like His Son.

I am not sure what the answer is, but I know that God knows our hearts and He understands us better than we understand ourselves and in Romans 8:26 it says that "the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings that cannot be uttered." So for that I am thankful. The sovereignty of God is a mind boggling thing...but I am so thankful that I can count on it even though I can't completely get my head wrapped around it.

By the way, she had the tests and there is no cancer. God is good... but even if there had been it wouldn't change His goodness. It's like the song 'Bring the rain' says..... "can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You?."

The BIG 50!!!!

2007-11-25T16:38:00.000-05:00

Mr Clean recently hit the BIG 50!!!! He seems to be taking in stride, but I expected nothing less. He is definately not deficient in the self esteem department. The kids have enjoyed running through the house yelling. "OH NO..... THE BIG 50!!!!" constantly. I think I may have had a hardest time with it .

The other day I was teasing him and said, "I don't know if I am okay with having a 50 year old husband. When I married you ... you were 45 and I guess I thought you would just remain that age forever."
And in true Mr Clean fashion he turned to me with a smirky little smile (that always means I am about to get zinged) and said, 'Yeah... when I married you ...you were a twenty something year old... Now you are 32 plus you have had two kids. Iimagine how I feel....." Bam... I shouldn't play with fire if I am not willing to get burned.

Normally that would be the point where I would get mad, huff, and then sulk all day, but I asked for that one... plain and simple.

However, I can't say that I completely let it go without a small measure of revenge. I thoroughly enjoyed making the call to the doctor's offce to set up his yearly check-up.....knowing that at age 50 every man needs to have a colonoscopy...... heehhheeee... we will see who gets the last laugh....

GREAT JOY

2007-11-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

It's wierd... I have been looking back over my blog and I see a pattern... I guess I am more of a winter time blogger. I really enjoy it when I do it, but I guess I just get seriously sidetracked when its nice and sunny outside. Not to mention that fact that I have two very 'active' boys. I can't make it if I don't let them run loose outside some during the day. But I am glad to be back blogging for now. Its been neat to check back in on blogs I haven't read in a long time.

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is over and that we are on the countdown til Christmas. Every year we scale back more and more on the commercial side of Christmas and focus more and more on the true meaning... and I enjoy Christmas more and more each year that we do.

Here is a Christmas thought for you.....

Luke 2:10.... Then the angel said to them, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.

The good tidings or good news was that the Savior was born. In Matthew 1:21, it says about Mary that she 'will bring forth a Son and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.' We all have sin. We are born with a sinful nature and none of us can do anything about it own our own. Ephesians 2:8 says For by grace we have been saved through faith not of works lest any man should boast.. But that is the beauty of it all.

We are a sinful people in need of a Savior and that is exactly what God gave us thru this tiny baby born to Mary.
He grew into a sinless man that died on the cross so that we might be reconciled with God.. 2 Cor 5:21... For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

The greek root of the phrase "great joy" means a calm delight or a sense of satisfaction. In the world in which we live people have more and accomplish more and are exposed to more than people ever have been in history...yet we are not satisfied. We are looking for "great joy" in all the wrong places.... in relationships, material possessions, jobs, hobbies, our kids, etc...

Some of us seek satisfaction through our own efforts of trying to be "good" and do "good". But in Isaiah 64:6 it says that our righteousness is like filthy rags . So nothing we can do in our own strength and ability will stand when exposed to the holiness of God.

In Luke 2:14, it says 'Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will toward men'. Christ brings us peace. He brings us the only peace that lasts. God wants us to be at peace with Him by accepting Christ and His work on the cross. And when we are at peace or reconciled with God then He can give us His peace which surpasses all understanding.

When God gives us His peace we can go thru anything, no matter how difficult or impossible it may seem with satisfaction and contentment in our lives. He can give us a peace that doesn't depend on our situation or circumstances here.

GOD TAKES BROKEN PIECES AND GIVES US AN UNBROKEN PEACE.

And if you will notice in verse 10 it says that these good tidings of great joy will be to ALL PEOPLE.... not just a few or some, but ALL.. Salvation through Christ Jesus is for everyone. He died for every single one of us not just the best of us or the ones of us who seem to have it fairly "all together". But also for those who can't seem to ever get it together... those that struggle with addictions and habits that hold us in bondage. Salvation is for anyone who would believe that Jesus died on the cross to pay for their sins.

And if you will notice in Luke 2:15, what did they do next after hearing this great news? They began to look for Jesus. My prayer for all is that we will be looking for "great joy" in all the right places not only this holiday season but throughout the year. ------Seek and you will find.....( Matthew 7:7)

2007-11-21T15:17:00.000-05:00

Man, it has been a while.

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving....one of my most favorite times of year.

I have so much to be thankful for.... don't we all. I think living here in America we tend to think we don't have much, but when you take a real look around we are in the land of plenty. We get so wrapped up in keeping up with the Jones's. We have a mindset that we don't have enough when in truth we have too much. We have so much that our attics and garages can't contain it all and we have to rent storage spaces. We have no clue how much we have.

I look around in the world and I see people dying every day from diseases that are caused by filthy living conditions, no clean water, and a lack of food.. It is insane to think that I flush more water down the toilet in a day than alot of folks have to drink in a week. .... Yet at times I find myself thinking that I don't have enough... imagine that. We are so sheltered to the reality of day to day life for so many.

On the other hand, I think we are seriously deficient in some areas. Look at all that we have been blessed with and how God has provided for us as a nation and yet we turn our backs to Him. We are in love with the gifts and not the giver alot of times. And we are willing to be partakers in the good times, but we aren't willing to suffer... at all. We are a nation that wants what they want right when they want it. We aren't willing to work hard and perservere. We just do whatever gratifies us at the moment.

I think of all the generations in the past that have sacrificed so that we can have the freedom and the lives that we have and instead of appreciating and cherishing it we have destroyed it. But that's a rant for another day... heeheee.

I always find that my grattitude is greater around Thanksgiving. I try to sustain that attitude through out the rest of the year, but it wanes from time to time when.I get caught up in consumerism and myself. But each year I grow in the Lord and each year I know Him better and the more I know Him the more I am thankful for ALL that He has done.

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His love and mercy endures forever.

2007-03-05T15:06:00.000-05:00

Wow... I just have to take a little time to say what a wonderful and mighty and majestic and loving God we serve.

I became a Christian at the age of thirteen and then after about a year I began to backslide. I spent the next 14 yrs rebelling against God. I have often wondered now that I have a close relationship with God again why I let Him go in the first place. The only answer that I can come up with is that I really didn't know Him. I didn't spend time in His word and in prayer. And slowly I began to turn from Him. It wasn't a radical decision. It was a thousand little compromises that I made on a daily basis that didn't seem to be a "big deal" at the time.

I am so thankful that God remains faithful to us even when we aren't faithful to Him. And I am so thankful that God allowed my bad decisions and their consequences to catch up with me in a way that got my attention and brought me back to Him.

The love I have for Him and the appreciation that I have for the sacrifice that He made so that I can have a relationship with Him is so much more than it could have ever been if I hadn't gone thru all the experiences that I did. I can see how God is taking my mistakes and turning them into wonderful oppertunities for me to minister to others. Only a sovereign God could turn negatives into positives.

I feel like I have discovered my first love.. like it talks about in Revelations. I was like the church at Ephesus. I left my first love, Jesus Christ. And now I have had to repent and do my first works (Rev 4:4-5). I am so thankful that I have made it back to this place. I haven't felt this energized and excited in years. I can see that God is changing me daily and I am so excited to see what comes next.

I have been reading the 107th Psalm alot lately.... it means so much to me. It describes exactly what I have been thru....

Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Bound in affliction and irons--
Because they rebelled against the words of God,
and despised the counsel of the Most High,
Therefore He brought down there hearts with labor,
They fell down and there was none to help.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
And He saved them from their distresses.
He brought them out of the darkness and the shadow of death,
And He broke their chains in pieces.
Oh that men woud give thanks to the Lord for his goodness.

...... Fools because of their transgression,
and because of their iniquities were afflicted....

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble.
And He saved them out of their distresses,
He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness.
Psalms 107:10-21

GOD IS GOOD... ALL THE TIME!!!
AND ALL THE TIME .... GOD IS GOOD!!!!

yo-yos

2006-11-24T14:42:00.000-05:00

I read a book several months back called How to Make your Kids Mind without Losing Yours. A friend of mine loaned it to me. About halfway thru the book there was a chapter on yo-yo parenting. As I read the paragraphs I knew that was me to a tee. One day I am super strict. The next day I let everything slide. Then the next I am somewhere in between. It all depends on my mood, what I have been doing, how much pressure I am under, and whether I have been reading my bible and spending quiet time in prayer, etc, etc. Sometimes I wonder if my kids think they are living with the Three Faces of Eve.

Yo-yo is a term that could apply to almost every area of my life. Consistency eludes me. Sometimes I am just so faithful when it comes to spending my free time reading the bible and I get up early and do my prayer time and I feel great... but then for no apparent reason I fall away and I realize that it has been days since I have really prayed. I generally say little prayers all thru the day, but I am talking about carving out quiet time to meditate on God's word and really seek Him.

The same applies to my marriage. I go for long period of time where my husband is on my priority list where he should be and then...bam... things get busy or hectic and I realized that its been days since I have given him a decent hug and kiss or given him any affection at all. I just get so wrapped up in the minute to minute caretaking of kids and the home that I forget he is even there.

It seems like in every area of my life I run hot and cold. I really want to be more consistent. I know that there isn't a magic potion or spell for consistency. I have a sneaking suspicion that like everything in life it requires that I be more aware and not just living in the moment and that I do the work to accompliish it.

Sometimes I look at all the work I have to do and feel so overwhelmed. But then I come to my senses and realize that all I have to do is turn them over to God and then be willing to follow His direction. And instead of feeling overwhelmed I feel excited to see how He will work in my life. I know how far He has already brought me and I know that He is committed to finish the work that He has started in me.

Happy Turkey-day!!!

2006-11-23T15:54:00.000-05:00

Well, it is finally here.... Thanksgiving.....I am stuffed to the gills. One dinner down... one to go. I went to Mr.Clean's family dinner today at lunch time. And tonight we go to my family dinner. I will fast for the remainder of the week and exercise diligently to undo the damage I've done today....Nah... I don't have the self discipline for that.

I took two new recipes today. Well, one is a revamped old recipe. The revamped one was potato casserole..it has hashbrown, cheese, sour cream, and cream of mushroom. I decided to add some bacon to it. I love loaded potatoes or cheese fries with bacon. I don't eat them, but maybe once a year if that, but I sure do love 'em. The bacon made it so much better. I might experiment next time with adding a little ranch mix or dressing. I am determined to have a recipe of my own that everyone begs me to bring. (I am the youngest sister in law, so everyone else has there 'thing' that they do best and bring already.)

The other thing that I took was a peppermint patty cake. I don't like peppermint patties, personally, but Mr. Clean does. I just used a really decadent recipe for chocolate cake and then put a mixture of cool whip, chocolate pudding and some peppermint extract between the layers. Then I iced it with chocolate icing with peppermint extract mixed in and then just garnished the outside with chopped up peppermint patties. It was a huge hit. Next time I might use Andes mints instead of the peppermint patties. They were sticky and hard to chop up even when they were cold.

Enough food talk.... In the spirit of Thanksgiving I'm going to do a top ten list.
What I am thankful for.....

1. God and His plan for salvation ( I could go on and on here.) His mercy, kindness... the fact that He created the universe and everything in it an yet He still wants to have a personal relationship with each of us. The fact that He loved us so much even though we are sinful and flawed that He sent His only begotten Son to come to earth and go thru temptations and suffer and ultimately die on a cross for our sins.

2. My wonderful hubby. Each day I love him more and more. He is such a good man and loving husband and terrific father to our boys and great provider.

3. My wild and rambuncious little boys. They are the light of my life. They are so much work, but it is so worth every minute of it and every 'sacrifice' that I've ever made. I can't imagine my life without them. They have been a true blessing from God. He has used them to bring my closer to Him and understand Him more.

4.Our health. My hubby, kids, and I have been blessed with good health. I am so appreciative of the fact that we are all well.

5. My friends and extended family. It is such a blessing to have so many people that care about me and that I care about. I think about how lonely people must be when they have no family.

6. My home. Our home is a really old home and its really small.... but its cozy, warm, and homey. We have a brand new couch that I have been wanting for a few years now. So we have a great new place to pile up with the kids and read.... and in a few weeks watch all of the old Christmas movies on ABC family channel.

7.My mini-van. I am so thankful that we were able to get a van after the birth of #2. It has made my life so much easier. I could nurse and change diapers in the car. Mr. Clean's parents are old and not able to drive themselves. Now that we have the van, we have room for them and us. And that makes it so much easier for them.

8. My church. I am so thankful that we go to a great church and have a great pastor. We have so many friends that have kids the same age as ours that we've met thru church. Our church has given me the oppertunity to teach a women's group and I love every minute of it.

9. Our neighbors. We live in a great neighborhood where everyone looks out for each other. And all of our neighbors are friendly.

10. I am thankful that I was born and raised here in the mountains and that I am still able to live here. These mountains are a comfort to me. When we go on vacation, even though I enjoy it, when we drive up the interstate and the flat lands start to roll and I see those big, beautiful mountains in the distance.... I know everything is okay and that I am home. I have seen lots of beautiful places, but none I would trade for the Appalachian mountains.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. And may God bless you.

blogger beta

2006-11-22T15:01:00.000-05:00

I switched over to the blogger beta the other day. I like it, but it just makes it way to easy to change my blog template. I have dial up internet, unfortunately... so it is pretty darn slow. But now it takes just a few seconds to change the colors and the template. Not good. I am extremely indecisive. I may have a different looking blog every day.

Christmas Plans

2006-11-20T15:11:00.001-05:00

The holidays are upon us. I can already feel the pressure mounting. I am doing better each year about getting rid of things that don't work for our family and adding in more traditions that do. Some of this tweeking is a little upsetting to extended family, but....that's the way the cookie crumbles.

This year I think our Christmas Eve tradition of going to my grandparent's house is going to get the ax. I have given it alot of thought and I really think that it is for the best. My grandma passed away four years ago and my grandpa hasn't decorated or had the meal at his house since. It is now at my mom's house. We don't usually get home until late and the kids wake up cranky on Christmas morning. --We are going to invite my grandpa down for a special dinner of his own with us on the 23rd that we still get to see him.

This year we are going to stay at home and start a tradition of our own. We are going to make a special meal. Not really sure what... but something out of the ordinary for the kids so it will be memorable. And then we are going to read the Christmas story and talk about the true meaning of Christmas. I am determined to put Christ back as the focus of our Christmas. I would like to find a Christmas cartoon or something of that nature that we could pile up and watch.

We have also added another new tradition this year on tree decorating day. This year we are going to buy each of the boys a new ornament that symbolizes something that has been important to them and let them open them at the end of decorating. So that will be the last ornament on the tree.

I am also looking for an advent calendar or coloring book or something of that nature so that we can talk about something Christmas related each day leading up to Christmas. I am going to use it instead of the devotional that I usually use with the kids each day.

I am really looking foward to Christmas this year. Despite some ruffled feathers, I think it will be the best Christmas ever.

watching a train wreck from the sidelines

2006-11-14T14:52:00.000-05:00

There is nothing I hate worse than watching someone I love make very bad decisions. I wish sometimes that I could just let younger girls spend a day in my head and learn from some of the completely stupid mistakes that I have made.

I know that my mistakes aren't for nothing... I, at least, have learned from them. But man, its been a long, hard road to get to where I am today. It just kills me to see someone else starting out on that road. I have a relative that just turned 18 and she quit school and she's in love with a guy that may not be so great for her. Not that he is a bad guy, its just that he doesn't seem very mature. I understand the attraction.... believe me. That whole no one pays attention to you so the first guy that really shows you any interest at all you latch onto for dear life and pray that it never ends I get it. That was me at that age.

Its funny to think back on my first 'real' relationship... I say that with a hint of sarcasm. He was a complete idiot. I say that in the very nicest way possible. But at the time, I thought that he was the greatest. I even accepted an engagement ring from him at the tender age of 19. eeekkk... I would never survive raising a daughter.

At the time I thought that our love would never end and that he was my everything. But life has a way of happening and eventually I woke up and realized that he wasn't even close to my anything... much less my everything.

At that age I thought I was so smart and so mature. But in retrospect... sitting here at the ripe ole age of 31 I see just how childish I still was. Not not mention niave and oblivious. I didn't have a clue. I don't think I really started to even get a clue until I was in my late 20's. And even now I am sure that when I am 40, I'll look back at 30 and think, 'man, look how much further I've come.' Its just a shame that you can't take some of your maturity and experience and transplant it into someone else.

I guess when you are watching a train wreck from the sidelines all you can do is pray. So that is what I will do. I know that God got thru to me....eventually. And that all things are possible with Him.

(....all you can do is pray.... I guess my own lack of faith or whatever you would call it shows thru sometimes. When I reread my post and saw that statement, I realized how foolish I can be. I said it like that is a last resort when I have ran out of human options then I'll go to God. God is still working on me. That should be my first response and my most important response to any situation. )

....

If we truly love people, we will desire for them far more than it is within our
power to give them, and this will lead us to prayer: Intercession is a way of
loving others.--Richard J. Foster