Share's Sharing

Tuesday, June 30th

2009-06-30T00:10:00.000-07:00

it won't last.

Monday, June 8th

2009-06-08T01:46:00.000-07:00

Blaming it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol. Especially the vodka.
I'm retarded.
I have no phone.

Sunday, May 31st

2009-05-31T10:50:00.000-07:00

I feel like I need to write something, I'm just not quite sure what.

I wish I could stop being the emotional female for once... I wish you were here. I wish I could text you and be like YO, when are you free next? Let's get ice cream, sit on my sundeck and catch up. I wish I could hug you. I wish I knew how you were really feeling. I really miss you.

That came out really cliched and lame... I hope you enjoyed your first week, it'll get easier as time goes on. Make some friends but don't replace me with some Italian version of awesomeness. Teach the kids how to swear in English for me.

Friday, May 15th

2009-05-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

It is certain that my friends bond with my other friends through making fun of me. I'll take one for the team if that means everything works out in my favor and budding friendships are everywhere. What more could I want than past friends meeting new friends and having gt's?

Another thing is for certain: Next time I do something stupid, or embarressing... I shall keep my mouth shut and not share it with anyone because next Saturday night, y'all will be laughing at me kicking over martini glasses or having a crush on an eighteen year old.

Monday, April 13th

2009-04-13T03:28:00.001-07:00

Love taught me to lie.

Monday, April 6th

2009-04-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'm gonna be straight up and admit it: I'm jumping on the Lady GaGa bandwagon. I just wish her songs wouldn't get overplayed on the radio. I've been on YouTube for hours at a time this weekend, and Lady GaGa has definitley won over my heart. This post is completly pointless. Unless you're already a GaGa fan... You can rejoice that I'm now your fellow follower.

Saturday, April 5th

2009-04-04T23:16:00.000-07:00

"As fun as things were back then, you NEED to realize that things will NEVER be like that again. They've made their choice. All you can do is live in the now and look forward to better times that wouldn't have happened if things were the same as they were back then. You're hurt but you have to get over it."

Friday, March 13th

2009-03-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how much everything has changed.
I feel like I'm finally embracing it for the first time.
Crap still happens...
But good things happen through the bad.
I've been hurt, I have hurt others, forgiveness is an
amazing feeling.
Sometimes I wish that certain things had gone differently,
but something great could come out of it, and if I don't
give these changes a chance, concentrating on how I didn't
get my way... How am I to realize when something
beautiful happens? Life goes on, I don't want these downs
to be a horrible thing anymore. I need to see past it,
be happy through it, and rejoice when my life rollar
coaster hits its peaks.

Wednesday, March 4th

2009-03-04T00:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going to get ridiculed relentlessly about this comment:

I wish I owned a Pensive.

While I'm at it, I wish Ron Weasley would come to life, live in my building, and fall madly in love with me as we bump into each other doing laundry.

Monday, March 2nd

2009-03-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

It's actually not that upsetting NOT having the internet all the time, it's kind of refreshing actually. Minus the whole blogging thing, 'cuz I love to do this. I have been journaling more on my own though, which is probably better. I like keeping my life on paper... Or keeping it through technology... I love going back and reading what's happened, my thoughts on stuff, and just reminding myself of some things that I have already forgotten.

I'm twenty two. When I say that out loud, it doesn't feel old, it doesn't feel young... It feels right. It's the age I want to be. This is my year, the year that I figure Sharon out, the year that I get my finances in order, the year that I'll start working towards who I want to be. I don't want to put my sights too high... I don't want to dissapoint myself if I can't make my goals. I'm thinking about Jon Foreman's song "Twenty Four" and I can't believe that I'm two years away from that age. It seems like just yesterday that I was still in high school... Hating it... I love being this age, I love surrounding myself with true friends, I love having responsibility and finally being able to prove that I can handle the stress.

Life is still life. I've been told I'm a drama queen quite often by several different people... I guess there's some things that are harder to grow out than others. My life in Coquitlam should be picked up by MTV, it would have amazing ratings. That being said, I love every one of my Coquitlam homies, they've accepted me for who I am [faults and all], and been wonderful to me along the way. I love cooking dinners together, I love having our weekends, I appreciate what every one of them has done for me [especially the month of me getting settled]. On the other hand, I appreciate the old friends and how they've been okay with me getting settled and minorly ignoring them while I do. It's also a bit harder without the help of technology... specifically the internet, but as I said before it's refreshing having to actually make an effort IRL.

Tuesday, January 27th

2009-01-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to not let it bug me that I keep hearing things "through the grapevine" and getting messages and phone calls with people being concerned about me. I want to think that people are actually genuinely concerned, but the whole gossip thing doesn't really help. People hear things that aren't true and assume they are, which I can understand. I know I have a lot of trust to build up, but I want to assure everyone that I'm fine. I'm almost over the hump and I've been working really hard to get here. It just kinda sucks hearing about things that "I've been doing" which are completly untrue. I realize that proof is in the pudding, but no one really talks specifically to ME, they talk to everyone else. I listen to music with my friends in the car, I go to the theatre and watch Notorious, I go to Boston Pizza and order a lemon water just so we have somewhere to chill. I'm pretty boring and normal and I have a lot of people to thank for getting to this point in my life. I just hate that people are worried when they don't need to be. <3

Sunday, January 25th

2009-01-25T23:34:00.000-08:00

"What are you guys up to?"
"Oh, we just came from the hotel up the street. We're just taking a little walk, it was getting pretty stuffy in there."

I love you guys, I loved this weekend, I can't wait for Cali.

Tuesday, January 6th

2009-01-06T13:38:00.000-08:00

"For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... Start whenever you want... You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I was all ready to write a huge blog on what's been going on lately, how I've been feeling... But it seems a shame writing anything after posting this quote. It's perfect.

i miss the comfort of my mother

2008-12-23T22:55:00.000-08:00

it's so easy
to believe
your words.
your fucking hateful, hurtful words.
crying every day
is getting so tiring
but they won't stop,
and sometimes
i need them.
family get-togethers
bring on the lies
the fake smiles
and the cheerfulness.
did i really do this
to myself?
this red room
scares me now.
i want to shut myself out and up,
end this rabbit hole of a life.
it's always "time to pretend",
i can't be myself and let the
shit out.
happy christmas and holiday cheer
to you and yours.

Saturday, December 20th

2008-12-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed.
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on.

-World Spins Madly

I hate this godamn feeling.

Friday, December 19th

2008-12-19T18:08:00.000-08:00

"I fall asleep with my friends around me
Only place I know, I feel safe.
I'm gonna call this home.

You should see the canals are freezing
You should see me high
You should just be here-
Be with me here.
It doesn't seem there's hope for me-
I let you down
but i won't give in now,
Not for any amount."

-Jimmy Eat World

Saturday, December 14th

2008-12-13T02:20:00.001-08:00

I really can't wait to have my own family. Well, obviously I can wait and obviously I don't want that to happen anytime soon, but I'm excited for it to happen eventually. I can't wait to raise my kids with my husband. I know for all the bad things that have happened with me or with my siblings, that's just one more thing that will go right for my own kids. I can't wait to be an amazing Mom to have amazing kids who love me and will have been brought up right. As much as I love love love being in my early twenties [I seriously love it], sometimes I wish I could fast forward to a more stable time in my life.

Sunday, November 30th

2008-11-30T19:41:00.000-08:00

I love Saturdays.

-Staying in McDonalds past closing time
-Fogging up the Tercel listening to MGMT
-Taking shots straight from the bottle
-Making friends/watching fights with boys on E
-Lounging at Dennys for hours
-More driving with awesome music
-Climbing a hill and videotaping everything
-Going to the beach downtown

These moments are what I live for, I love being young and having amazing friends. We are random and we do whatever we like. I can't wait to tell my kids the adventures that their Mom used to get into and be proud of living my young years to the fullest. I feel like life is amazing, I have nothing to lose, and everything will be alright. I'm stoked to start a new chapter of my life.

Victoria poem - Untitled

2008-11-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

Thinking naively that I will never know your stealth
The words I’ve heard you say through everyone else
Whisper through the air silently
Tempting me
To raise my voice in forged shock
My shimmering eyes to theirs’ lock
But I will be silent
Even be these words violent
My reaction will get back to you in due course
So one little smile on my face I shall force
Rejecting tears
Overcoming fears
Because I’m the strongest I’ve ever been

Finally I can see who you really are to me.

Friday, November 21st

2008-11-21T01:06:00.000-08:00

---Winter Group Activites---
Share&Anna&Art&Theo

1.) Snowboarding @ Seymore

2.) Tubing

3.) A gift exchange

4.) Ice skating

5.) Birthday Fiesta

6.) Clubbing [lol]

7.) Sledding/Snow fun!

Haha, I love our lists.

Moday, November 17th

2008-11-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

After two hectic months, I've finally found a bachelor suite and I've started moving in. It's super small, the kitchen/living room/bedroom is all in one room, then there's a closet and the bathroom. It works with my budget though ;-P It's the first time I've lived just me myself and I though. I thought I would enjoy the alone time a bit, but honestly, I really don't like being alone here. I wish it was in Cloverdale cuz then at least everyone would drop in all the time, but it's in Fleetwood. At least Beth is close, and Anna has a car. Hopefully by next Christmas I'll be able to afford something a bit bigger and a bit closer to everyone. But I really shouldn't be complaining, I'm happy I finally found a permanent place. I'm just afraid that my life will be taken over by WOW or facebook because the internet is the only means of communication other than my phone with the outside world.

This past weekend was SO much fun! I had to work on Friday night, but afterwards I met up with Anna and her Best Buy co-workers at the Mirage. We didn't have to spend a penny [hells yeah, ladies night], and we just danced. We've never done the clubbing thing together and I'm pretty sure that got us addicted. Crystal was there too, so afterwards we hit up McDonalds like every other drunk kid on a Friday night and headed to my place.

Saturday was even better... Anna and I headed to Port Moody to chill with our boss from the summer, Theo and his friend Art. We ended up staying up all night and having this amazing bonding experience. The four of us are absolute pimps and had such a blast. So we're going to pull the whole divorced-kids thing and take turns traveling to Cloverdale or Port Moody to hang out. I'm so glad we recorded some of the night, I never want to forget it.

Work is good, but I'm not getting enough hours. So I think I'm gonna apply at Best Buy [lol] for the mornings and just work at the liqueur store at night. Seriously, they've only given me three shifts this week, and I'm trying to pick up more but everyone else is getting chotched out of full time hours too. I can only hope that someone quits :-P It's an awesome work atmosphere though so I don't want to leave.

Tuesday, October 21st

2008-10-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

So I just got reemed out by Dallas' dad for stealing money. Like, actually. I haven't even been home all weekend, and he went off on me that money has been going missing. I eventually was just like, "Well, you know... I'm out of here in ten days so the money shouldn't go missing anymore, right?" And he didn't say anything. He also yelled at me for waking him up to be let in the house, when he hasn't given me a key. He was like, you better just fucking stay out all night. Like, excuse me?? I'm still allowed to be here for ten more days. It's my room, I can have who I want over. We're not loud, we're not bothering anyone. I actually have never been so close to just going off on someone! But I knew if I started I would cry, and that would just be a mess. I hate this.

Monday, October 13th

2008-10-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

is my life really in shambles that much?

i'll take the blame for the mistakes that i've made this weekend, [and i have] but honestly you know that i'm a push-over and i have trust issues with people. i have felt taken advantage of from you before in the past, but never have i brought it up because i don't want to lose friendships and i'm too much of a pansy to speak my mind. obviously you have no problem speaking yours.

am i just a crappy friend? here i am thinking that certain people aren't worth my time and effort.. but maybe it's me who people actually have a problem with and i just am completly oblivious.

i'm tired of hearing rumors about me, i'm tired of feeling upset. i'm trying to do this the way i thought best and believe me, everything is still a struggle. things just don't get automatically better overnight, unfortunatley. i'm not asking for sympathy but i've gone through more shit with my family than you could ever understand. stuff yourself full of turkey and excuse yourself from the table to watch tv... at least you have a family who wants you.

i feel like i've been supportive to you throughout the hard times in your life, and you have been right next to me through mine. i'm not telling you how to live your life, i need you to let me figure this out cuz it's about time that i did.

Friday, October 3rd

2008-10-03T11:57:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wish that i could pull an "eternal sunshine of a spotless mind" and erase you from my life.

i would have no memory of you and the loss that i feel would be full again. i wouldn't remember the good, but i would have no record of the bad and overall that would be just fine with me.

but you know what, if it wasn't you it would have been someone else. and the cycle would start over again... me wishing that i had never met him.

why do we have to go through so much hurt? is it really because it makes us "stronger"? i'm not fully convinced. i feel like that's the cop-out reason that your mom gives you when you cry to her about the new boy who's hurt your feelings.

life sucks sometimes.

don't get me wrong, i've had a lot to celebrate about and i will continually have future celebrations of my life. but life truly does suck sometimes.

i'm exhausted from sticking up for myself, i'm exhausted from being accused, being frowned upon.

i'm greatful for those who have given me the benefit of the doubt and loved me through this... god knows i don't deserve some of the sympathy.

relationships florish and fail. i'm begining to see that those hugs and hellos that you give me aren't exactly genuine. i can see through your crooked smile.

it's time to really live.

Thursday, September 18th

2008-09-18T12:48:00.000-07:00

So props go to AJ for showing me this dudes work, I really enjoy his stuff. Check this out.