Serpent Libertine, Sly Sex Pro

Sex Worker Tribute Video

2008-05-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

Check out this awesome video Renegade Evolution put together to honor sex workers and the death of Deborah Jeane Palfrey...

2008 Desiree Alliance Conference in Chicago-Registration is Open!

2008-05-06T19:58:00.000-07:00

Desiree Alliance Presents~
In partnership with BAYSWAN, Sex Workers Outreach Project-USA, SWANK, H.I.P.S. Different Avenues, COYOTE, Best
Practices Policy Project, $pread Magazine, St. James Infirmary, Harm Reduction Coalition, PONY, SWOP-Chicago,
SWOP-Las Vegas, SWOP-Los Angeles, SWOP- Northern California, SWOP-Arizona, SWOP-Portland, & SWOP-EAST

"Pulling Back the Sheets: Sex, Work and Social Justice"
July 16-20, 2008 Chicago, IL

REGISTER NOW!
The Desiree Alliance is a diverse, volunteer-based, sex worker-led network of organizations,
communities and individuals across the US working in harm reduction, direct services, political
advocacy and health services for sex workers. We provide leadership development and create
space for sex workers and supporters to come together to advocate for human, labor and civil
rights for all workers in the sex industry.
This convergence will create space for dialogue between hundreds of sex workers and their allies
to share their personal experience and skills, identify workers' most pressing needs, share
training and networking skills for developing solutions, and to collaborate on strategies for social
and political change on local, state, national and international levels.

Some of the scheduled workshops include:
"Safety for Sex Workers Through personal Privacy
Legal and relatively simple ways for working and living out of harms way"
"Tantra: How it can uplift the plight and struggle of sex workers and clientele"
"Self marketing and self branding: How to run a profitable (and more safe) sex worker
business"
"Safety 411"
"Falling Through All the Cracks: Young adult transgender sex workers"
"Challenging Discrimination Among Sex Workers: Reconstructing 'sex work'"
"Bad Date Line: How to start, run + maintain a damn good project"
"Sex Workers Against Rape"
"Sex Workers Rights and Direct Services in Urban Los Angeles"
"Adult Entertainer's Guide to Disabled Customers"
"We, Asian Sex Workers"

The Desiree Alliance is a diverse, volunteer-based, sex worker-led network of
organizations, communities and individuals across the US working in harm reduction,
direct services, political advocacy and health services for sex workers. We provide
leadership development and create space for sex workers and supporters to come together
to advocate for human, labor and civil rights for all workers in the sex industry.

Desiree Alliance-Conference Registration

Desiree Alliance is a Project of Social and Environmental Entrepreneurs (SEE), a 501(c)(3) non-profit.

Conference registration fees are $150 if you register by June 1st, and $200 if you register
between June 2nd and July 10th. All participants must register no later than July 10th. Fees
include registration materials, admission to the opening reception, breakfast and lunch Thur-Sat,
admission to the after party on Sat and brunch on Sunday. To register for the conference visit our
site and submit the registrant screening form. After you submit this form, a registration packet and
payment information will be sent to you.
For more information on registration scholarships, contact: Liz Copl at hdfemme@gmail.com
If you have registration questions please contact: tara@birl.org

We are also looking for volunteer house photographers and videographers for the conference! You must be a registered attendee to participate.

APPLY HERE!

MILF-tastic

2008-05-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

So for the past year or so I've been working off and on with a middle-aged couple whose dream it is to create a "MILF" website featuring the female of the couple having sex with various men. When we originally began shooting in 2006, the idea was to have the both of them in different sexual situations with various people, pending that everyone on the site was in the 35-55 range.

One house fire and several setbacks later, we are back filming for the as-yet-to-be launched website, this time without the male participating in the action, as he finally realized he could get fired from his job if he ever appeared on such a website. He came up with what he thought was a "brilliant" idea of having the theme be "whoring my wife out to pay the rent" and bought the webdomain mywifesawhore.com or something like that. In each scene, the wife is supposed to be an escort seeing clients as a last ditch desperate attempt to pay the rent. he insisted there was only one other website on the 'net that was just like it. Hmmmm...

Initially, I was really turned off by this idea. Thought both husband and wife are really enthusiastic about shooting content for the site, I get the feeling that all of this is masterminded by the guy and the woman is just kind of playing along in order to keep him happy. I also wasn't comfortable with the sexism of the theme, as my goal is to do more feminist-based porn that doesn't play on male fantasies. I'd also heard the male throw around the term "hooker" here and there in a deragatory fashion to describe escorts (they have no idea I'm one) even though it's quite clear that he has plenty of experience using the services of them. I even took the couple to some sex-work socials that were held here awhile back and they claimed the title "sex worker" for themselves, even though they somewhat dissed the same people who could fall under that category. It was more than a little irritating at times.

Don't get me wrong, though. These are really nice people, like family even, and they opened up to me right away and have the utmost respect for my professionalism. But like all family members, they can get on my nerves sometime.

So to embark on his new master plan, the male in the couple began placing ads on craigslist and Adult Friend Finder to look for men willing to fuck his wife for "$300 or free if you let us film it." Oh brother. Not the way to go about this at all. He said he received hundreds of responses, but after exchanging emails for weeks with potential candidates, he'd only been able to round up a handful of guys to meet with us for a pre-shoot interview at a local bar. We met with three guys total, one guy blew us off and one guy was just too inappropriate for what we were doing. So that left us with two decent guys willing to be filmed fucking on camera.

You wouldn't need a crystal ball to predict that a week later, when it came down to scheduling these guys for the actual shoot, they both went MIA. Actually one exchanged emails a bit, and just concluded that he wouldn't be able to get away from his wife to be filmed fucking some other guy's wife while her husband watched. Desperate to get a day of filming in the can, Mr. MILF scoured Craigslist again, finding a professional performer and hiring him the day before the shoot. Sometime you have to shell out a little cash in order to make things work. I believe this is something I had told him before but for some reason he chose not to listen.

The "professional" they ended up hiring was actually a professional actor, not a porn performer and had actually never been hired out to do porn before, despite many attempts. His name was "Frank" and he was an attractive African American guy in his 40's, but looked ten years younger (hey, black don't crack). if Frank was nervous at all off the bat, he didn't seem it, as he sat down right away and began making Mrs. MILF feel comfortable. Frank had some ideas of his own about how the scene should go and he seemed like a take-charge kind of guy, which was appropriate for the situation.

We were aiming for as much "reality" of the situation as possible, so Frank and Mrs. MILF began talking like they were actually in an escort/client situation and suprisingly, it was very believable. He completely led the scene and she played the slightly nervous, but submissive wife who was experiencing her first time as an escort. Frank's background in acting really helped here, as he was able to get into character and take charge. They began with some foreplay, slow undressing and he going down on her, three things that are often missing from porn. The two performers actually had a lot of chemistry with each other and the result was totally hot.

We moved over to do the sex scene on the bed, but like most novice male porn performers, Frank ran into some problems staying hard. He was rock hard for the first half of the scene, but once we started taking breaks and moving lights around, he lost his concentration...and his erection. Frank was a great sport, though, and apologized profusely, but he continued on with the scene and improvised some positions he could do without a hard cock. The result was absolutely smokin' hot.

Frank started doing some rough play, spanking, a little biting, hair pulling, and forceful thrusting. A couple of times the result was a little comical (more the result of Mrs. Milf's phony moaning)but the dripping sweat coming off both performers was very real and Frank totally made up for his flaccid cock in other ways. I'd honestly have to say it was one of the hotter scenes I've ever shot. And I was totally not expecting it to be at all.

Funny how porn is like that.

Another Casualty In the War On Sex

2008-05-01T22:52:00.000-07:00

The sad news yesterday of D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey's suicide once again sent waves throughout the sex worker community. Geez...can we go at least a month without a sex worker scandal? Pleeeze!

It was a tragedy when Palfrey was found guilty last month of racketeering, mail fraud, and money laundering but her high-profile clients (Randall Tobias, et al) got off Scot-free, despite the fact that they were the real criminals here. Is it fun for people to watch these women go down? Because really, women don't commit as heinous crimes as men or as often as men, so it's the prostitutes and madams such as Palfrey that get used as examples in the media for what "bad" women look like. Still, you'd have to search far and wide to find someone who actually believed that Palfrey was dangerous and should be locked away from the public.

Palfrey insisted that she didn't want to spend even one more day in federal prison again (she'd been before) and she made good on that promise yesterday, despite the fact that she may have only gotten a sentence of five years or so and been out in even less than that. I understand, though. If I was in Palfrey's case, I may have even done the same thing. What would she do once she was released from prison? Perhaps she felt there was nothing left to turn to.

It's hard to say, though and I wouldn't want to speak for someone else. I think a lot of us in sex work activism felt that maybe Palfrey was stronger than we though and would have the moxie to move on despite whatever sentence was handed down to her. we hoped she'd get a book or movie-of-the-week deal, netting her the big bucks. She'd always insisted that the clients should be held just as accountable as she was, which I agree with. Supply=demand. If she's going to go down then take the clients down to. This happens all the time in prostitution cases. It's easier to bust the women than the men.

Palfrey's trail didn't get much attention. In fact, it was called downright boring by some reports. However, several clients and providers testified and one reported any negative effects as the result of their work or the services provided to them. Hmmm...either we were too busy with the Spitzer scandal or for some reason the media didn't find that to be newsworthy enough to report. I can't imagine Diane Sawyer and the rest of the uninformed news media anting to hear that these "fantasy sex providers" actually enjoyed what they did.

What Palfrey, Spitzer, and who-knows-next are all victims of really is the US War on Sex. We live in a huge country of prudes, where sex is used to sell just about everything you can imagine, but -gasp!- selling sex is demonized to the level of rape, murder, and much more heinous crimes. Talk about sending mixed messages. Yes, I know we are a puritanical society, but just think of all the heinous crimes that happen each day, from the war in Iraq, to the FCLDS nutjobs forcing their teenage girls to marry older men (without pay!), to the random shootings that happen every day nearly everywhere. Do I sound like a broken record here? Maybe I am. Now think of the Spitzers, the Deborah Jeane Palfreys, the Heidi Fleiss' and wonder why these people ever made the front page news.

It's because we are obsessed with sex.

No, I Don't Want to Date You

2008-04-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

A week or so ago I received this email in my box-

"Hi,

I am sure I have a little different question for you. I was wondering if you are single? :) I am 36, single, white, attractive, very successful, and absolutely love the idea of my girlfriend with other men! I have dated an escort once before, and absolutely loved sharing in her secret. If you have any interest, email me back, I would love to talk and get to know you!

Me"

Well, "Me", I'm sorry to say you, and others like you, just don't get it. I am not working as an an escort because I'm desperately looking for a man to date or someone to rescue me Pretty Woman-style from my life working in the sex industry. It's kind of sad to think that there's guys out there that really hold their hopes high thinking that the escort they've been shelling out all their cash for is suddenly going to change her mind and start seeing the guy for free, but alas, it happens all the time.

A few days after I received that gem, my friend Charlotte got an email from a client she had seen praising her and asking if he could get to know her "on a personal level." We had a good giggle at the letter but I told her to watch out because he was looking for freebies and just phrasing his request in a more complicated, yet laudatory way. She understood, but unfortunately a lot of clients (and some workers) don't. There's a certain line between personal and professional in this industry that shouldn't be crossed and those that do are making it harder for the rest of us.

Sure, i've heard stories from other sex workers who went on to date clients. I always admonish them when I hear about it, but it's their choice. it's not a choice I would ever myself make and I've been in this industry for awhile now. The number one reason I've had to "fire" clients is because they got too close and thought they actually had a chance of dating me. I'm very warm and conversational in my sessions, so I can understand the attraction of seeing me as a possible girlfriend, but I usually never "go out" with my clients so they don't get the idea that I would all of a sudden substitute that dinner they're buying me for the actual payment they owe me. A particular client I enjoyed spending time with would always ask to take me to bars, musicals, etc. but I would turn it down. He would say things like "I can't believe you don't have a boyfriend" when he actually didn't know (he just assumed that because I was working as an escort, I didn't) and would ask me "do I owe you anything?" at some of our later sessions, causing me to stop taking his calls. I haven't answered a call of his in quite sometime, but he still calls on random evenings, never leaving a message. Believe me, I feel bad because this guy is really nice, but I think he needs to get a better understanding of his relationship with the escorts he hires.

I do have a lot of clients that I enjoy spending time with, but I've never gotten emotionally attached to one. Unlike most women, I can walk out the door and never think of these guys again and have little desire to find some rich Richard Gere-type that sweeps me off my feet and takes me somewhere to live happily ever after. I do this work because it affords me independence and the freedom to do what i want in my life and I accept nobody in my life who challenges that. If a client finds me interesting, great, but if that same client feels sorry for me and wants to "rescue' me from my life of crime, then he can go fuck himself. Maybe there are escorts out there looking for their knight-in-shining-armor, but I'm not one of them. And neither are most of the escorts I know.

I call it the "Pretty Woman" Myth. The idea that we're out there looking for dates or men to rescue is just that...a myth. This isn't Match.com. You're paying us not to get involved so don't get upset when we adhere to that.

Not Such a Bad Tax Day After All

2008-04-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

Pardon for my lack of posts in the recent week, but I've been a busy, busy bee these days. Today I interviewed Tristan Taormino for an upcoming episode of RedLightDistrict and she was just so beyond amazing to talk to. I made sure to really do some thorough research and even Tristen was impressed and some of my questions. Stay tuned for the video interview on that...

Afterwards we headed over to my favorite sex toy shop in Chicago, Early to Bed, for Tristan's Anal Sex 201 workshop where myself and Kimberlee Cline were chosen by Tristan to be the demo models for a variety of anal sex positions! Yes, we kept our clothes on...c'mon people! Though I hadn't been to Anal Sex 101 before, it was easy to catch on and we learned all sorts of anal tips and tricks which I will write about here for you soon.

Seeing that I paid my taxes in advance, it was one of those really awesome days where I was feeling accomplished only to be spolied by the news that the DC Madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, was found guilty today of four felony charges stemming from her Washington based escort service. Though this news was not exactly suprising, it was aggravating nonetheless. One can only hope she doesn't receive a long jail term for this nonsense, but it's looking more and more like she's being made an example for all the world to look down upon shamefully.

In other news, SWOP Chicago has a new member and I'm totally psyched about getting to know her. He name is GoddessGlory and if you haven't seen one of her many ass-kickin' videos on You Tube, you are missing out! So I leave you today with one of my favorites...if you don't love this then, well, you gotta problem...

Listen to Me On Blog Talk Radio

2008-04-06T20:53:00.001-07:00

Today I was a guest on SWOP East's Blog Talk Radio program with host Jill Brennaman. Check it out ...

XBN: Blog Talk Talk Radio

Baseball Season is Here

2008-04-03T23:11:00.000-07:00

...and I am officially distracted! Even though my White Sox have gotten off to a lackluster start, I'm still itchin' to get back to the the Cell and enjoy some games. There's nothing I love more than a good game on a nice summer night with a Polish and beer in hand. So I took it upon myself to create my fantasy baseball team, 'cuz yeah, I am totally that much of a baseball geek.

2008 Fantasy Team (subject to change at any time)

Outfielders- Grady Sizemore (CLE), Ichiro Suzuki (SEA), Matt Holliday (COL)
Catcher- AJ Pierzynski (CHI)
First Base- Prince Fielder (MIL)
Second Base- Chase Utley (PHI)
Shortstop- David Wright (NYM)
Third Base- Joe Crede (CHI)
DH-Frank Thomas (TOR)
Pitchers-
Johan Santana (NYM)
Kenny Rogers (DET)
Jon Garland (LAA)
Ben Sheets (MIL)
Jake Peavy (SD)
Bobby Jenks (CHI)

The Brewers are looking like a tight team this year...let's hope they can stay that way and win the National League Central title they were robbed of last year! I'm totally looking forward to taking a trip up to Miller Park for a game again this year. There's nothing as entertaining as those racing sausages. I mean, you just can't beat it.

As for my Sox, we'll just have to see. Anything can be better that LAST year!

18 Things Every Sex Worker Should Know

2008-03-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

kittenINFINITE and I recorded another podcast and I think this one's our funniest yet. It's "18 Things Every Sex Worker Should Know" and it's based on a list written by Mistress Matisse that has been distributed pretty heavily through sex worker circles. There's some great advice there and kitten and I go over each and ever tip, adding our own recommendations. This podcast is a bit long, but we had a blast doing it, so stick with it if you have time. I promise my upcoming podcasts will aim to be under 30 minutes!

Meanwhile, Stacey Swimme from the Desiree Alliance is coming to visit this week, which I am excited about. We're planning on doing a 20/20 parody skit, another podcast, and possibly some more interviews. So stay tuned for more 100% sex worker made media!

New Red Light District Chicago Video

2008-03-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

Red Light correspondent kittenINFINITE hot the streets of Chicago again to find out what people think of "Kristen", the woman involved in the Eliot Spitzer scandal and how much it would take to get them to pose for Hustler.

Diane Sawyer is full of Shit!

2008-03-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

To think I once had respect for her! Never have I seen a more pathetic, shoddy piece of journalism than tonight's 20/20, which I forced myself to watch even though it was akin to sticking a hypodermic needle in my eye. And no, I am not a drug addict!

Why just today I was writing a piece for Sex-Kitten on how it was so important for us sex workers to create our own media and Sawyer's "expose" on prostitution in the US really proved it. Once again, the media's desire to focus only on drug-addicted, desperate sex workers proved how biased and just plain uninformed they are. Sawyer found every marginalized, down and out sex worker and got her to spill her sob story about how she'd been abused in the past and of course, had a drug problem to support. The only intelligent, proud sex worker speaks in secrecy and Sawyer announces "we have no way to corroborate her story." Sawyer said she doesn't believe the woman wasn't abused as a child or was "suffering inside." The woman stated she was not, but Sawyer was skeptical yet she had no problem believing all the drug addicts that she interviewed.

"Do they dream of a Hollywood ending...like Pretty Woman?"

Oh god, excuse me while I throw a brick through my television...

As exploited as these sex workers may feel, they've never been exploited more than how they were on 20/20 tonight. Some of these women interviewed with Sawyer over 2 years and have moved on with their lives, so I'm sure seeing their sob stories re-hashed on national television has done nothing positive for their situations. If anybody should be ashamed of herself after this shoddy miscarriage of journalism, it should be Diane. She doesn't realize that not everyone is a victim and that not everyone in the sex trade is being coerced against their will. It's too bad a respected journalist made a two hour special on one topic and didn't even do her homework.

But once again, this reinforces my belief that sex worker made media is one of the few ways to fight this. I've been working hard on the podcasts and videos I've made with my sisters in SWOP-Chicago and we now have our very own media website, RedLightDistrictChicago.com.

Our motto-"Sex Workers Making Media, so the Media Doesn't Make Us."

What Do Chicagoans Think of the Elliot Spitzer Scandal?

2008-03-16T19:45:00.000-07:00

Check out a teaser for my upcoming TV series, Red Light District! The ladies from SWOP-Chicago and I went out on the street the other day and interviewed Chicagoans about their opinions of the Elliot Spitzer scandal.

Click To Play

Another Hypocrite

2008-03-14T23:12:00.000-07:00

First off, let me say that there could not have been a worse week for a prostitution/politician scandal. I was non-stop busy with other projects all week and then I spilled tea all over my keyboard, which prevented me from blogging about this Elliot Spitzer thing until today, after I had to purchase a new keyboard for $50 at the Apple store. My brain has been racing 100 mph for the past week with this information overload and as a member of the SWOP Media team, I've been bombarded with messages and links to articles about this every day, all day. I'm just feeling really bad for all my sex work sisters in NYC who have to field calls from the media all day. Stop the insanity!!!!

Normally, I would say, hey Spitzer is just like the millions of men who use escorts every day, many of them more higher profile than he, and to just brush this off as normalcy. I mean he's just one who got caught...there's a lot more who never will. However, Spitzer was responsible for busting up a few "prostitution rings" (what does this mean?) himself when he was attorney general, which makes him a total hypocrite. After all, this man is rumored to have been a regular users of escorts for over ten years and one would assume he was using them at the same time he was probably busting up those prostitution rings. As far as violating the Mann Act, well the Mann Act is an outdated and often racist piece of legislation that needs to be overturned. I have friends that violate the Mann Act almost every week.

So the real question that should be addressed here is why, in this day of terrorism, war, and extreme outbursts of violence, is the FBI wasting taxpayers money to set up wiretraps on escort services? Yeah, I know...it's illegal activity and money laundering, etc., but would the world have been in danger had this fucking scandal never been exposed? I think not. Are the Republicans really that desperate in their attempts to make Democrats look bad? It's always the sex scandal. Whereas the scandals they're responsible for are much, much more evil and dangerous than some governor who likes to see high-end call girls. So fucking what. Are the American people starting to realize that everybody's doing it now. It's your husbands, your brothers, your sons, your governors. They're using escort services.

And the escorts themselves? they;re your sisters, your daughters, your mothers. They're choosing this line of work because they can make a lot of money. More money than being a secretary, waiting tables, or whatever ridiculously banal options they might have. The crime in this scandal is really how the media is treating the girl at the center of it all...I'll call her "Kristen" out out respect for her anonymity, though we all know her real name now. Printing the words "Bad girl" on the cover of the NY Post along with unauthorized nude photos of her and -gasp!- her family who have nothing to do with this mess. It's the most shameless, horrible thing I've ever seen. She did nothing different than what myself and thousands of other sex workers do every day and now she's had her whole life exposed to the public so they wag a finger at her and say "shame on you!" No, shame on you, NY Post... you're the real criminals here, along with all your counterparts.

So now every escort and sex worker in the country it seems is being interviewed by the print and television media. All these sources want to uncover the workings of how these "prostitution rings" and escort services work, as if this stuff is all brand new. It's really horrible for all the workers I know. Apparently services in New York and Boston have completely closed up shop for the time being and business is slow for the rest of us. Who knows what the feds will do next? I mean, what do these guys think they're doing.? Do they actually feel like they can stop prostitution from happening? I'd like to think Americans are more concerned about the war in Iraq and hunting down terrorists, but shit, I could be wrong here.

Hopefully the one message clients can get out of this whole situation is that it's better to use the independent providers than the escort services these days. Before I had a computer, I used to work for escort agencies and a lot of them were run by greedy guys who wanted to be big shots herding a stable of sexy girls. They were vindictive, paranoid, downright crazy and usually took a 50% cut. So for a $300 call, I'd get $150. And more often than not, they rarely did anything other than field a phone call to earn that money. With the age of the Internet, girls can work independently, keep all their earnings, and not have to deal with the headache of a pain-in-the ass agency owner. Clients can mostly be assured that an independent provider isn't going to have a federal wiretap on her phone and some money laundering operation looming in the background. Independents are a much safer bet.

This scandal has turned into quite the monster and our little underground world of sex work has been exposed for all the world to see. Maybe people will start to understand why men, specifically married men, use the services of sex workers such as ourselves, and that all this hoo-haw isn't going to do a damn thing to stop it. Maybe people will be outraged that their tax dollars are being wasted on such useless operations. Maybe "Kristen" will finally make a bold statement to the public championing the rights of all sex workers and how viable an option the sex industry is for struggling artists. Hopefully she'll make a lot of money off this mess and pursue her dream of music. Maybe Elliot Spitzer will get away from this mess unscathed. Until then, my head is literally spinning.

Now, when is the next mass shooting scheduled to happen?

New Podcast on Red Light Radio

2008-03-10T21:01:00.000-07:00

I've posted a new podcast on Red Light Radio! This time around I interview sex worker, activist, and all-around hottie, kittenINFINITE about her work in the sex industry.

America the Stupidiful

2008-03-05T20:39:00.000-08:00

It seems like everyday we have a violent shooting here in the US...a few days ago it was Memphis and the Wendy's, before that it was a town hall committee in Missouri, before that it was the NIU shooting, before that it was Virginia Tech. It really doesn't seem to stop, does it? And you know none of the politicians currently in office or on the campaign trail seem to have any solutions for it. No, you wouldn't want to tighten up restrictions on gun ownership with all this shit happening, would you? Oh of course not, it's America and violence and random shootings are to be expected.

Yet the prostitution busts still continue. You'd think with a country in serious peril over this huge wave of senseless killings they'd spend more time cracking down on real criminals. But the cops want to make their jobs as easy as possible and prostitution arrests are easy for them. No gun-toting angry men to deal with, no hard work, just a few words exchanged and they have a bust. it's almost pathetic that these people are put out there "to serve and protect" yet by busting an erotic masseuse or escort in a hotel room they are serving and protecting nobody.

Just think, if all the money that was wasted on setting up prostitution stings was put towards trying to prevent these random shootings and killings we hear about every day, this country might be in a better place than it is now. Just a suggestion, though, as I know the two are not really correlated to one another. After all, prostitution is not a violent crime and the violence happening in our country is symptomatic of a society that encourages and promotes violence. How can we stop it? Well, look around.

Believe it or not, I put some of the largest blame on the film industry. We are constantly inundated with horrific violence and shootings in films, and the perpetrators often go unpunished. Young men (and it's always men) see these films, think the characters are "cool" and want to emulate what they see on the silver screen in person. They're too dumb to see that it's fantasy. All these young guys that worship Quentin Tarantino and Martin Scorcese films just can't get beyond the fact that the whole gun thing has been tired out. They want to re-create the same old crap they see, to further perpetuate the cycle of violence that's plaguing our society.

As someone who works in film, I see it every day when I work on the low-budget independent films that help to pay my bills. Every hot-shot Tarantino wannabe has got to have a shooting or some guns in his crappy little film so it will look cool, without realizing the consequences of the message they're promoting. And yes, these same film dorks are the same people that tell me they would never work on a porn shoot "because they have morals." They tell me not to tell people I've worked on porn because it "might compromise the jobs I get in the future" if anyone finds out. Oh, so that movie I worked on where the girl got raped and the guy got shot was ok, but two people having actual consensual sex onscreen is clearly not. Or how about the gaffer who I asked about renting equipment from the other day who said he wouldn't even rent out his equipment to a porn shoot because "that's where he draws the line." Well apparently films with excessive violence were above that line because he'd worked on plenty of those!

Obviously, there's a lot of causes to violence, not just film and media, but we could go on and on about it. The problem is that we're a nation of gun-happy prudes who get get all excited over the most extreme forms of violence and still get all hot and bothered over anything overtly sexual. Grow up, America. I have morals. It's the rest of you violence-obsessed, gun-toting, war-lovin', so called holy rollers who don't.

March 3 is International Sex Worker Rights Day!

2008-03-02T18:22:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, March 3, is International Sex Worker Rights Day and sex workers all over the country are planning events to draw attention to their rights. Hey, one of us just one a damn Oscar, so isn't it about time?

Check out some of the events happening in NYC, San Francisco, and North Carolina at SWOP National's Homepage.

RED LIGHT RADIO

2008-02-28T21:41:00.000-08:00

Check out the first podcast in my new series on sex workers, Red Light Radio, started with fellow SWOP member kittenINFINITE.

More to come!

Red Light Radio Sex Work Podcast

Sugasm #120

2008-02-25T23:06:00.000-08:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #121? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
The Ache of Desire Unsatisfied
“J groaned in my ear, and I nearly pulled down his zipper then and there.”

Unexpected
“Tingles of electricity were set coursing up and down that side of my body.”

Part(y)ing shots
“I placed both my hands on the tiled wall in front of me, clammy and cold, holding myself up.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The “Best way to make him felt hot”

Editor’s Choice
Who Is A Sex Worker?

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

BDSM & Fetish
The administration of pain
Calm
Cock Blogging
Cuckold
Expect the unexpected
Happy hunting
I got quoted in Bitchy Jones!
A Lying Husband’s Spanking and Mouthsoaping
So Hard It Hurts
Vegas Squeeze Toy

Sex Poetry
Lick
The Sweetest Fruit: An Ode to Cunninglingus

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Navigating the Shoals of Infidelity
Silent Sex
Statute of limitations for rape
Tales from the Floor: Pure Njoy-ment
What is fasionable today?
Why Christianity hates sex (possibly)
WWYD: Presidents Day Edition

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Action Girls’ Latest Erotic Photo Galleries
The Beauty Of Nature
Hot Wax at LSM with Madeline
Mizuki Horii
Nikki Nefarious Has Taken, And Modeled, The Hottest Photograph Ever (Altered Aperture)
Redhead Submissive Tied Up In Box (Fetish, shibari, catalinaloves.com)
Suzie Carina - Hotel Room
Vivid.com: Briana Banks, Monique Alexander, Nadia Styles & Sunny Leone

Sex Work
Catalina loves Couples (D/s)

Sex Advice
How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It
The Ultimate Sex Position?

Erotic Writing and Experiences
After the gaurd 2
Blue Air
The Cam Lover screwed a hot black escort in London - Part 2
Catalina loves Great Cookies
Eternal Kiss…An Erotic Paranormal Tale
The magic dinner party
Excerpt - The Party Crasher
The Naughty Dentist - Part One
Phantom Stirrings
The therapy session

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Blog Contest Teaser
Harmony Rose Dominates Glory Hole Perv And Fucks Him With Strap-On (Bondage, Femdom, Captivemale.com)
Ron Jeremy Reviews: Souja Boy

Who Is A Sex Worker?

2008-02-19T19:56:00.000-08:00

If you are...

A Prostitute
An Escort
A Whore
A Hooker
A Streetworker
A Madam
A Courtesan
A Dominatrix
A Master
An Erotic Masseuse
A Full Body Sensual Masseuse
A Stripper
An Exotic Dancer
An Adult Film/Porn Performer
Someone Who Shoots, Directs, or Produces Porn
A Fluffer
An Erotic Writer
A Phone Sex Operator
A Tantra Provider
An Agency owner
A Pimp
Someone supported by A Sugar Daddy/Mama
Someone who has had sex for food, drugs, or to get the money you needed to survive
A Clerk at a Sex shop
An Owner of a Sexually Oriented Business
A Peep Show Dancer
A Webcam Performer
A Fetish or Nude Model
A Fetish/Erotic Photographer
An Online Domme
An Adult Webmaster/mistress
A Burlesque Dancer
A Sex Advice Columnist
A Sex Toy Reviewer
A Sex Worker Advocate/Activist
A Publisher/Editor of A Sexually Oriented Publication
A Hustler/Ho
A Waitress at A Strip Club
A Phone Operator at an Escort Service
A Fantasy Sex Provider
A Curator at A Sex Museum
A Sex Educator
A Sex Surrogate
A Sex Therapist
Rent Boy/Girl

...you can consider yourself a sex worker. A sex worker isn't necessarily someone who has sex with her/his clients. While all these professions may be vastly different from one another, we are linked by one thing-our knowledge and expertise in a specific profession related to sex. We are asking you to come share your skills and knowledge with us this summer at the 2008 Desiree Alliance Conference in Chicago. From July 16-21 sex workers from all over the country will gather in Chicago for the national convergence, "Pulling Back the Sheets: Sex, Work, and Social Justice."

Please join us as either a presenter or attendee. Your voice is important to us.

For more information on registration and call for submissions, go to http://www.desireealliance.org

(Permission to repost this anywhere)

Beautiful Women Get Taken By Ugly Men

2008-02-14T13:08:00.000-08:00

I re-watched the movie Romance last night and once again, was just totally floored by it. It had been several years since I had originally seen it and I remember just being so amazed at how accurate and well-written it was in relating to women's sexuality. Incidentally, the film was originally recommended to me by a client who I saw jut a few times, but he seemed to recognize that I would completely relate to this film. I did, and I thank him for that.

The film also turned me on to director Catherine Breillat, a French filmmaker whose films usually deal with the sexuality of young women in such an explicit and accurate way that they could never be made in the United States. She seems to understand the submissive tendencies that a lot of women have when it comes to sex, but also the tendencies to want to become a whore, to be used for sexual pleasure without the binding fallacies of a relationship. After watching Romance for the first time, I couldn't believe how many of my secret fantasies were played out in this movie, fantasies that I thought only I had. I mean, I had never seen a film that I could relate to on such a personal level as this one.

If you have never seen one of Breillat's films, I advise you to check one out...Romance, Fat Girl, Anatomy of Hell, A Very Young Girl, 36 Fillete. Just amazing, incredible works of art that truthfully expose the sexuality of women that no American filmmaker could ever try to do.

Teetering the Line

2008-02-09T19:56:00.000-08:00

Five years ago I went back to college to finish my degree and got my BA in film and video in 2006. I freelance in the mainstream film industry, which is just as risky a business as the sex industry, but it was a longtime dream of mine. Essentially I went from being a sadist in the sex industry to a masochist in the film industry, which demands twelve to fourteen hour days, erratic (sometimes no) pay, and oftentimes poor working conditions. Those of us that do it are in it for the love of filmaking and the power of media, despite our better judgement.

Being a sex worker has actually helped me to find work in film, but not how you think. When you're trying to break into this industry, you have to take any job you can get and sometimes jobs are few and far between. Others have long and erratic hours, making it impossible to hold down a normal job while trying to find film work. After a few years of trying, a lot of people give up working in the film industry and finally get a "real" job in an unrelated field because they can't afford to live off the wages they're making. Those that stick with it and make a name for themselves can make upwards of $400/day. I've lucked out. A lot of the people I've graduated with just two years ago have pretty much given up on trying to find regular film work and are looking into other fields. I work on films on weekends and supplement by doing sex work during the week. I've got it balanced out.

Man, sometimes I just love being a sex worker so much.

That said, I have to be careful now that I'm teetering the line between the regular work world and the sex work world. I don't publish photos of myself online for advertising. I know a lot of people think this is crazy...insane even...but I'm not a high volume provider much anymore and have to be careful about who might discover my "secret." Yes, I know it wouldn't be too hard for most people to find out (shit, I'm a SWOP member) but I can't run the risk of having the wrong person come across my photo only to run into them on a film set.

This is a problem I imagine most sex workers face...how do you incorporate yourself into the mainstream work world after being a sex worker for so long? What if someone recognizes you?

During the day, when I work on film, you would NEVER recognize or even guess that I'm a sex worker at night. I'm very tomboy-ish looking, wear little makeup and really don't exude any sexiness. The job I do is traditionally (almost always) done by men and I take quite a bit of grief for it (people don't trust me). I like it like this. I never want people to be able to look at me and guess what I am. I hate stereotypes.

Still, it's very difficult for me to bond with these people I work around. I don't like most of them and don't really feel comfortable talking to them about most subjects. After so many years in the industry, I truly only feel comfortable hanging out with other sex workers or at least those who know and accept what I do. I know I can speak freely around them and have no need to censor myself like I often feel I need to around those "not in the know." Do I put up a huge defense if I hear someone make a deragatory comment about prostitutes or just remain silent, as not to give myself away? These are issues I still face every day.

I long for the day when I can direct my own film...the one that changes the way people view sex workers, the one where I can tell my crew "hey, this is my autobiography." Not now, though. Probably not for a long time.

Sex Worker Solidarity

2008-02-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

Radical Vixen's series on Sex Worker Solidarity spotlights yours truly this week. Check it out.

Sex Workers, Save the Date! Chicago is the place to be in July

2008-02-04T00:38:00.000-08:00

We are organizing for this event now, so mark the dates on your calendar. We are already lining up hotels and housing options and will be sending out a call for proposals soon. So if you are a sex worker and would like to attend, start making plans now. if you'd like to help out in planning the conference, join the Desiree Alliance.

If you live in Chicago, contact me and I will give you information on how to join SWOP-Chicago.

Save the Date!!

The Sex Worker Revolution is hitting Chi-Town!!

On July 16-20 of 2008, hundreds of sex workers and sex worker activists will converge on Chicago at the Desiree Alliance Conference:
Pulling Back the Sheets: Sex, Work and Social Justice

The Desiree Alliance is a diverse, volunteer-based, sex worker-led network of organizations, communities, and individuals across the US working in harm reduction, direct services, political advocacy, and health services for sex workers. We provide leadership development and create space for sex workers and supporters to come together to advocate for human, labor, and civil rights for all workers in the sex industry.
The time to get active is NOW!

**Go to www.desireealliance .org and click on the "join the yahoo group"**
You will receive two monthly updates on this announcement list as Desiree Alliance starts to collect "calls for presentations" (got something to say?), registration for the conference, and general updates about the 2008 Desiree Alliance Conference.

Some of the workshops from last years conference in San Francisco:

"Know your Rights! A legal training for arrest and emergency response to arrest"

"Fundamental Safety for Sex Workers through Personal Privacy:
Legal and relatively simple ways of being "hidden" from clients and stalkers"

"Clicking beyond Craigslist: Marketing and working using the internet (by $pread)

"Roundtable discussion: Spiritual approaches to sex work; bringing back a courtesan ethic"

"Problems and Solutions: Educating the public and cultivating allies for sex workers rights"

"Entertainers guide to disabled clients"

"Legalizing Prostitution in order to fight trafficking for sexual exploitation:
a critical evaluation of anti-prostitution policies"

and much more!!

Thinking about sharing a workshop or training at the 2008 conference? Got something to share with other sex workers? Wanna learn new skills in both sex work and sex work activism? Just want to hang out with hundreds of radically minded hookers?

Join the Group!

Visit us online at: www.desireealliance .org

Questions? email info@desireeallianc e.org

The Desiree Alliance conference organizers are committed to support for representation and inclusiveness of cultural, racial, economic, age, and gender identity. Please read our Diversity Statement and join our efforts to build a respectful, diverse, and strong sex worker movement.

No, You Don't Know Everything

2008-01-27T21:06:00.000-08:00

It's true I'd readily admit to being a misanthrope, it's not a secret. I'm not a "people" person, but I'm able to be cordial to most people when needed. There are certain types of people, however, that I just cannot tolerate at all. One of those types is the "know-it-all" person. I truly want to kill these people.

Look, I don't claim to know everything...shit, I barely know anything. It's really not possible for one person to know everything about everything, so the know-it-all type is particularly annoying. These are the people who try to "one-up" you no matter what you say and ramble on and on about a particular subject just to show off their knowledge. If you make a statement about anything, they manage to find something incorrect about what you said and make a correction of sort, just to make you look stupid or something. I suppose it's some sort of superiority/inferiority complex that they have that causes them to do this, but it the end it just makes them unpleasant to be around.

This weekend I had to spent a considerable amount of time around not one, but two, know-it-all types on Saturday and Sunday respectively. In both cases the K-I-A was a hanger-on of a friend of mine that I had plans with, forcing me to spend time with them despite all their ramblings and corrections. Yes, it was truly a case of "hell is other people."

On Saturday, I had planned to interview a friend for her work with Pit Bull rescue and her K-I-A/Gigantic Asshole boyfriend was with her, randomly creating conversation with me while she was off doing other things. He had knowledge of my work shooting and casting porn so he felt that could share these pearls of advice with me...

"If you're looking to cast some broads for your porn shoots, you should go over to the trailer parks. I know this one broad who lives in the trailer park down the road...she's hotter than any model you've ever seen, you'd be amazed. And with these trailer park broads, all you have to do is show them an 8-ball and they'll do anything you want."

After hours of listening to this guy interrupt his girlfriend's conversations with me, demand to be taken shopping at Cabela's, here, there, and everywhere, I was ready to lose it. This guy had nothing positive to say...ever. He was just a heap of negative energy that drained the life out of everyone who had to share the same room as him. Needless to say, I won't be taking his trailer park advice.

As if that wasn't enough, today I went on a shopping excursion with a friend of mine and a friend of hers from school. The school friend seemed nice enough, but as soon I started in on any topic of conversation, the corrections and one-ups kicked in. For example-

Me: "Oh it's a beautiful day outside. I think it's supposed to be 40 degrees today."

Friend: "No, that's tomorrow. it's just freezing today, tomorrow it's supposed to be 40."

Truth: Today's high was 40, tomorrow will be 46.

Next we were talking about flea markets and I mentioned the history of Maxwell Street, which their college is located near. I told them how the Maxwell Market has been moved several times due to the gentrification of the neighborhood and how it's being re-located once again a few streets over from the location where it's at now, Canal Street.

Friend: "Oh, you know where the Jamba juice and Caribou Coffee is over by University Village, that's where all these guys use to peddle junk years ago in a flea market."

Yes, I explained to her. That's what I was just talking about...did she not hear me or did she just pretend not to hear me? So here's this person who's not only not a Chicago native, but not even a native of the United States trying to tell me, a lifelong Chicago native, that she knows more about Maxwell Street than me. I may not know everything or even claim that I do, but I do know my hometown. Better than you.

It's funny because my best and longest standing client is a know-it-all type. He calls every week, looking to see a new girl and in his sessions he babbles on and on revealing all his self-proclaimed knowledge about various subjects until his face turns blue. He especially loves to gossip about his knowledge of various Chicago escort services, the girls who work for them and all the information he knows about who runs them, etc. He's a serial "one-upper" who's friendly enough, but mostly irritating to a severe degree. He calls me every week (or more) and wants the girls that see him to pretend that they're his actual girlfriend when he introduces them to his roommate.

In addition to his short stature and small penis, I sometime wonder if he'd have better luck getting an actual girlfriend if he wasn't such a K-I-A. After awhile listening to a guy who thinks he has to be an authority on every subject humanly possible can really be more than a little disconcerting. If someone is really that insecure about themselves that they have to make those around them feel lesser by overstepping them at every move, then maybe they don't deserve to be surrounded by people at all. Hence, having to pay for companionship.

So I may not not everything, but I do know one thing, nobody likes a know-it-all.

If you are one, please stop. There's no way that you can know everything so stop pretending like you do.

I've Joined the MacWorld

2008-01-23T21:59:00.001-08:00

Yes, for the first time I am typing my blog on my brand-spankin'new iMac and damn, it's amazing. The screen is a massive 20 inches and all those little pictures at the bottom of my screen scream out at me with a what seem like limitless possibilities.

As yawn-worthy as it may seem like to most of you, this is a huge deal for me. The computer I was using up until today was 9 years old, had 258MB of RAM and ran on Windows ME. There was nothing I could do on it. I couldn't even use my new digital camera with it. The keyboard was encrusted with nine years of dinner and drinks spilled all over. When we picked up the monitor to move it off the desk, layers of dust and crap were lingering underneath. Let's just say, I'm not totally diligent about caring for my electronics. This computer, an HP Pavilion, was a complete embarrassment.

Thanks to a car accident I had a few years ago, I came into a little bit of money and knew my priority was to update my system. I need to do a lot of video editing, so I know I was going the Mac route...there's just no other alternative. I've bee salivating over people's Macs for years...out in public, in private, wherever. If you were privileged to own one of these incredible machines, I wanted to be you. I'm not kidding. Other than price, I just don't understand why anyone would buy a PC. Most of them don't even have a firewire port, for chrissakes!

My desk now has a new look, which involves a lot less clutter. Since the new iMacs are basically just a monitor and keyboard, I now have a lot more open space on my desk, surely to add more crap to. Or at least to put my dinner at night. Still, this giant monitor is basically SCREAMING out at me adding a lot more light to my space in which I usually have little. I light my apartment with Christmas lights and little else at night, using the light from my computer to see. I now have a lot more of it.

Other than my car and sound equipment, I'd say this is the biggest purchase I've made in quite some time. Considering I go through cars like Drew Barrymore goes through men, I expect it to last a lot longer.