Jetting Through Life

Bored...

2009-08-26T21:15:00.002-04:00

I can't get over this funk that I have been in with JTL... I feel like I have zero to write about.

My life has been so consumed with work, school, kids, family.

I have been cooking/baking a ton more so that could be a new direction I take with this blog. I just really need to do some soul searching and commit to this again. It's been far too long.

My calling...

2009-06-14T17:54:00.002-04:00

Ok... I am going to get spiritual here...

I became a new member of a church within the last couple of years and annually we get a mailer with activities within the church that parishoners want to get involved in. There was one for the Bereavment Group. I expressed an interest and about a month later I got a phone call and set up a meeting. I met with Jane (not real name) and asked her what the parish does for loved ones who pass away. She said all they do is mail a card. I then began to spill to her what I believe the church should do. While the gesture of a card is really nice, what happens two weeks after the card is recieved?

So I told her about my life story of losses and how I wished there was some sort of support group to talk about my loved one(s) to help the healing process. She thought it was a wonderful idea and she believes that it would be a great asset to the church community in my area. I was then asked to contact someone in the Diocese to see if he would be willing to instruct a class for our Church Cluster community.

Fast-forward to today... Tuesday will be my last class in a 7 class course. I have to admit going to these classes have been very eye-opening and it's nice to have a small support group of others who are attending with me from other parishes.

After all of these years I have lost my father, I believe I have found my calling. A way to live out his legacy. I will be Co-Founder of this group with Jane.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!

2009-03-22T07:19:00.000-04:00

After being back WAY too long I am finally getting the time to update.

I came, I saw - Oprah. I must admit getting up at 5AM to primp up wasn't bad. I nursed a Venti coffee from Starbucks to get me through the first party of my morning. The whole Oprah process wasn't too bad. We waited in line then as we walked through the door, the Harpo staff asked us to take our coats off for our coat check. Then we checked in -- I will circle back to this in a few. After we checked in we went through security. Security searched through our purses taking our cell phones, pens and any paper and keeping it in a zip lock bag. After those items were removed we were able to get our purses back. We headed upstairs to a holding room. We are told what the show is going to be -- Friday's Live Show... We waited there for a little over an hour. In the room were big flat screen televisions showing clips with Oprah and some of her notable shows. After an hour there were parties called by name. Turns out these people were hand selected by the person checking us in. They have you take your coat off to see what you are wearing. So evidently we didn't make the cut... No biggie. After the bottom part of her studio was filled in then we were called in by number.

Walking into Oprah's studio was exilirating! The next thing I thought was this place really isn't as big as it looks. I guess the cameras add 15 pounds to the set too. We get seated and we are told who is going to be on the show, Jimmy Fallon and the founder of Facebook and the men in the Christian the Lion video. While I don't really care for the live show I thought it was very interesting to see a live show filmed.

Before the hosts appear on stage there is a woman that comes out to hype us up with music and getting us pumped to see Oprah.

Then Mark Consuelous is introduced, Oprah comes out with Alli, then Gayle.

Oprah seemed to be tired and a little pissy. I was disappointed of her attitude and lack of interaction with her audience. I guess I just expected more. I know she had an after the show tapings where she actually talked to her audience. We all have bad mornings and even bad days. I won't hold it against her. So I think that's what I was expecting. But none-the-less I was very happy I went. We had the opportunity to attend the second taping of the day and we missed out by 3 people! It was a bummer, but obviously it wasn't meant to be. We headed over to Oprah's store and I bought a t-shirt.

We went to lunch at Ed Debevicks and that was an interesting visit... But it was funny. The food was mediocre at best but the entertainment was funny.

For Saint Patricks Day we went to see the Dying of the Chicago River. That was really a lot of fun. We got a nice spot right on the river and froze our asses off. But it was very neat. The local plumbers union uses an orange vegtable based powder to turn the river green and the zip along the river in little boats to stir up the waters. We got some good pics and I got a picture with a Mounted Chicago Policeman.

Later that afternoon we went to lunch at a Thai place. I didn't pick the best dish. I went with the recommended one something with basil instead of what I was eying out. I hate it when that happens! Afterwards we went out to Howl at the Moon and were there until about midnight. We had a blast! They had a live dualing pianists, fiddler and a drummer. There may have been more but I can't recall. We met some really cool people, Kim, Tom, "Bullshirt" dude, Heath, and our waiter to name a few.

Here's to hoping I go next year!

What should I wear to Oprah?

2009-03-10T20:22:00.001-04:00

It is now T- minus 3 days before I am under the same roof as Oprah Winfrey. I will actually see her in person. I need to dress to impress even though I will be lost in the sea of her audience. Who knows if the topic will require audience participation. I am a loud mouth and would probably raise my hand for actual bragging rights that I was there. I can't bring in my camera so there goes my chance of taking a snap shot of Lady O. I can't Photo Shop myself in with her giving me a hug or a high five. So I will resort to memories. Hell I have got this far... I am not going back now.

I went shopping specifically for the show. I have nice clothes, but I wanted to look perfect for Oprah. So during my lunch hour I tried on as many clothes as I could and actually found two perfect outfits. One is a purple-ish/pink-ish long sleeve top with steel grey shimmery pants and the other is black pants with a black and cream swirly design. Both are very cute and comfortable. I already know what shoes I am going to wear. I just need to settle on an outfit. It will depend on how I feel.... You know the typical "this makes me look fat". I try to post pics, not sure if I will get pics with me dressed in the clothes as I am pressed for time until I leave.

I can't wait to see what the topic is going to be. My only hope is I am not bawling my eyes out... People I work with keep saying I hope you win something and honestly I am perfectly content with the opportunity to participate in the audience. Whatever happens, happens. I am fortunate enough to be able to go.

All I keep thinking is -- I want to make a good impression. Sometimes under pressure and this is the ultimate pressure I make a total fool of myself... I hold meetings and have presentations, but this is at a grand scale not to mention I am not the one on stage!! Let's just hope I don't walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper on my shoe or sticking out my pants. Then Oprah would deny she ever saw me!

The things die-hard fans go through... I swear. See you soon Oprah!! I never in a million years thought I would say that.

Who watches....

2009-03-02T19:22:00.003-05:00

Brothers & Sisters? I love this show! While I know the Walker family is totally fictonal. I think they portray some current day situations.

I think the writers of this show are a-mazing! I can't wait for next week.

What do you call it?

2009-02-25T21:43:00.003-05:00

This very topic is always one in my house. Considering I am a transplant to Ohio. What do you call your carbonated beverages? I have always called it "soda". Here it is called "pop".

The picture below is a breakdown by state and county of what certain demographics call soda.

I find it very interesting as in all of my travels I holds relatively true to this map.

Oprah here I come!!!

2009-02-17T20:52:00.003-05:00

Today a wish came true for me... I was finally able to get tickets to the Oprah Show.

My girlfriends and I are going on a weekend trip to Chicago in March and we figured we would try to see Oprah. Tickets were available on February 13th. I was unable to call Friday as I was traveling to Southern Ohio with my boss. I tried ALL day on Friday, including my hubby and one of my girlfriends that is going on our trip.

I was calling on 2 phones approximately 10 calls a minute... Multiply our efforts by a solid 6 hours and yeah, you get the math.

I was very pissed at Oprah yesterday because I was able to get through but missed the voice prompt due to a crabby baby. Ugh... So today I figured I would give it a shot here and there in between work. Ten minutes before I left I was winding down my day and figured what the hell... What do I have to lose? I tried about 6 times. THE PHONE RINGS!!! I couldn't believe it... Today I kept getting an "all circuits busy" message. A message I didn't receive yesterday. So I fully expected the same messages for the remaining 10 minutes of my day. So... back to THE PHONE RINGS!!!

I am prompted by a friendly Oprah Winfrey employee voice. She said if you want ticket reservations, Press 1 -- what I missed yesterday. Now comes the hold music. I text my girlfriends and tell them I got through and told them to pray. At 4pm CST Oprah's phone lines close. With my luck I was totally expecting my call to be dropped. I continue waiting... and waiting...

The hold music changes and an my Oprah Angel, Mark, answers the phone. He tells me what days there are available, all Wednesday's and Thursday's and one Friday. I sigh in disbelief. I am disappointed, but I accept it. I then ask what time she tapes again as I was dumb founded and couldn't remember. I fly into Chicago on a Thursday around 3. I then ask if we could go on a stand-by or a waiting list... I told Mark that this is our only chance... We are away from our hubby's and our babies and it's a girls weekend. Mark then says he has 3 available seats for her morning taping... I damn near jumped through the phone. I told Mark if I could jump through the phone I'd kiss him. Afterwards he took all of our information and gave us instructions for the show and told me he'd "see us at the show". Before I said good-bye I told Mark he was an Angel and I thanked him profusely. He was so pleasant and kind. I can't imagine having to be in that position of having to answer the phone of crazed fans... Perhaps that's why you listen to calming hold music for 20 minutes!

I am *bleeping* excited I can't stand it. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be given the opportunity to go see her show.

I just won the lottery, literally...

iPod revisited

2009-01-19T19:15:00.002-05:00

Back in September 2005 I wrote about iPods. I wrote because I didn't understand the concept of a small "thing" that played music without a tape or a CD.

Well fast forward to now... I own an iPod and I LOVE IT! I finally have grasped the idea of an iPod. I listen to it at work and while I work out at the gym.

And I didn't pay for it. I earned enough points from my bank to get it for FREE!! I love that word.

So cheers to me and joining the new electronic age. So long to carrying around a shit-ton of CD's in the truck and HELLO little iPod.

Never say never...

2009-01-17T20:31:00.000-05:00

I am not well versed on politics. In fact essentially what I get is what I catch on FoxNews on my XM to and from work. I may listen on my XM in the office if I am bored with my play list on my *new* iPod.

I must admit I pretty much swore I would never write about politics or religion on here for the pure fact that I don't want to get flamed for my beliefs or views on the world. But hey, what the hell?

Admission #2 - I was a sore loser in November. While I wasn't pro-McCain(the person) I was pro-McCain for the Republican party as a whole. I really liked Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney and wonder what would have happened had their name been on the ballot. I chose the lesser of the "Weenies" who wanted the prestigious title of President.

I know a lot of Republicans voted Democrat because Bush "effed" up the whole economy. But here's my analogy... Much like football the coach gets all of the brunt. If the star quarterback throws 4 interceptions. The teams star wide-receiver fumbles the ball and screws up who gets the blame?? The coach. Essentially there is more than ONE person running this fabulous country we call the United States of America. But ONE person got the blame.

Here are two examples that chaps my ass and I am SO SICK of hearing:

Hurricane Katrina, Bush was blamed, why??? What did he have to do with Mother Nature?? Why didn't the blame and the bad rep go to the local government?? No, it was Bush's fault. Period.

Iraq - Bush kept terrorists at bay from the US by having our soldiers do what they enlisted to do. Fight for OUR country. Now within 16 months Obama is going to pull our troops. For what?? Another Vietnam? How sad after all of these years. It makes me sick. I must say though I wish there was an end to our "War on Terror". I hate that our troops are still in the "Sandbox" and I want them home with their families. I have family and friends who are over there or who have served and I pray daily they come home safely. These men and women enlisted for a reason. Whether it be to follow in the footsteps of their father, to carry on a family tradition, to fight for America, or for a college education. All of our enlistees are serving because they wanted to.

Admission #3 - I honestly thought a black man would ever be elected president in my lifetime. I am not prejudiced at all. But I am a people watcher and watch the idiots who are interviewed on television. I still see such a division of race, everywhere.

After Obama was elected the blacks in my area are interviewed on television saying now Obama is going to fix "everything". What is this man?? Jesus? Come'on. Honestly. Please. We already have government aid available to you if you are eligible. You do not need a black democrat in office to feed you and pay your bills.

Admission #4 - I have told my very good girlfriend during the election that I "Republican" is a swear word to her. She went to the inauguration. I thought it was "insane" mainly because there was a ton of people there and I couldn't handle it. She went there to view history.

Admission #5 - When Obama speaks I think he is trying to sounds like Martin Luther King. I think he is trying to follow in his footsteps.

Admission #6 - When I hear the audio of Obama's Presidential Oath I cringe and I get very sick to my stomach. Hussein shudders through my body and it creates a state of panic. Not that he is Saddam, but the co-relation is enough. The mental images in my head from when Saddam was in power.

Admission #7 - This "Stimulus" package scares the bloody hell out of me. I think my kids and my grandkids are going to be screwed in their adult lives. I was listening to Glen Beck today and he said it right... "This is not a stimulus package it is a spending package."

Our main focus right now needs to be the housing market and jobs. Obama speaks of a stimulus package for small businesses. Ok, sounds great, but how good is the stimulus going to be when all of our countries small businesses are going out of business?? My in-laws own their own business and have been laid off over half of their employees and this has been since November. They do not see business picking up for months. In their 33 years in business this is the worst they have ever seen things. How scary is that?!

I think we need a "Blended Party".... One who is not soley Republican nor Democrat. I think we need to educate our young... America is not a totally socialist country. I work for my money and I would love for nothing more than to keep it. Why do I want to give my hard-earned money to someone else? I have a family and a roof over my head to maintain. If I wanted to support others I would manually sign up for it not be forced into doing it.

I am going to get off of this rant now... I have said enough...

Crazy weird...

2009-01-11T20:25:00.002-05:00

Last night Em had a Girl Scout sleep over. I picked up a few appetizers for dinner from Applebee's on my way home. We are sitting at the table.

I am looking out the window at a vehicle going down the street...
I see our storm door open...
I see the knob open of our front door...
I hear a guy say "I don't care I am going to walk right in."...
The door opens all the way...
There are two guys standing in my foyer...
The guy is staring at us asking us if this is his sister's house... Um, no. You dip shit.
He looks at me, dunno why. Like he wants me to claim him as his brother, hell I dunno.

After a few blank stares the man excuses himself from our house. It was a rather interesting experience. I mean we were dumbfounded in our own home. Even my police officer husband was at a loss.

I guess that will teach us to lock the door right away, forcing one to actually knock or ring my doorbell.

Ringing in 2009

2009-01-04T21:25:00.002-05:00

Well Merry Christmas and Happy New Year... We were out of town over Christmas and since we have been back I have been trying to catch up with life in general.

I am going to be getting a promotion this week. I am very excited. I have been at my company for 9 years so it's nice to finally be recognized.

Tomorrow is my 10 year wedding anniversary... So hard to believe how time flies!

Admirable...

2008-12-09T21:06:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine has been an inspiration to me as of late. Our kids are close in age. She has two sons and I have two daughters.

Her youngest son 'P" has been sick. He hasn't been gaining weight. After several months in treatment he is faced with having surgery. He is going to have a feeding tube put in to supplement his food intake so he can gain weight. "P" is scheduled for surgery two days before Christmas. My girlfriend and her family are going to have a different type of Christmas, the praying kind.

My girlfriend has held very strong. I admire her... I admire her strength, her courage. Every time I talk to her I get chocked up when we talk. She tells me she spent time with "P". She gave him a bath and took picture of his bare tummy to cherish for the rest of her life. He will have a scar on his tummy and to hear her reminisce made me so sad.

"P" is going to have to have this tube for 2 years. He will do well with time.

Even though I won't be back home with her for support. I will be not only thinking of her and her family; I will be praying for them, and I will help her the best I can from afar.

Happy Thanksgiving... a few days late.

2008-12-01T21:52:00.002-05:00

Wow I was super busy the last 2 weeks! I have been meaning to post but have not had a free moment. My last post was a super rant, bitchy post and I almost regret publishing it. But... it's too late now.

Today I am much better. Thanksgiving was amazing... I worked Monday and was off the rest of the week. My mom flew in on Tuesday evening so I had the whole day to get errands done for the week. I came home and baked pumpkin bread and cooked potato broccoli bacon cheddar cheese soup. On Wednesday I prepped food all day for Thanksgiving so I could relax on Thanksgiving and actually spend time with my family.

Friday I went shopping. I got up at 3:30 to be to the stores by 4. Yes I was insane, but I got some pretty good deals and saved a lot of money. The last store I was in I locked my keys in my hubby's truck. That sucked. But it all worked out.

My mom helped me organize my house and purge stuff that was taking up space. I donated 10 big black garbage bags of clothes and toys to Goodwill. It was so good to get rid of the stuff and hopefully some little girls will have a nice Christmas with the stuff we got rid of.

I was sad to see my mom go, but there will be a next time.

I hope all of you had a great holiday and had plenty to be thankful for.

A little bit of this... a little bit of that...

2008-11-10T20:17:00.002-05:00

This past weekend was our 13th annual Fraternal Order of Police dinner. For about 9 months out of the year we prepare for this event. I totally look forward to doing it. The hustle and bustle of all of the people and being under pressure is a rush to me. Crazy, yes I know.

When we had our last meeting one of our younger (20 years old) members said I should "tone down" my assigned sex basket. For those of you who don't know I have started my own business doing them with the feedback I got on making them. So clearly people like them, not to mention it's a ga-zillion dollar industry. Ever heard of the phrase, "Sex Sells"? Well I was a bit put off by his comment and responded by saying "kids" your age should be thinking about nothing but sex. I asked him to define "tone down" and he really couldn't answer me. I said... we are all human and we all do it. For this years basket I toned things down as asked by burying the taboo toys and covering up movie titles. When I provided the list of goodies I put the "offensive items" on the second page. Meaning if you were really interested you had to turn to page two.

Ticket sales were great, but it wasn't a "best seller". It's ok with me... It just means next year I won't buy as much to put in it.

For the night though I was rather crabby as a whole. I had a lot on my mind and everything really it me at once and it was almost an overload.

1. One of our couple friends couldn't make it because of her job. She had a marketing deadline which prevented her from doing much of anything. Another couple didn't come because the wife has been having really bad morning/noon/night-sickness. Another her hubby has been sick for about a week... The good thing was my best friend one who would most likely not be able to attend came from Wisconsin. I was so happy to see her.

2. I have been stressed out... One of our members is like Fidel Castro. It's her way or the highway. And it's getting to me.

3. I got medical news about my back... I was told I have lumbar spinal stenosis. I was in a bad car accident 12 years ago. I went through 9 months of physical therapy and 3 years of chiropractic care. I have been just managing the pain through intermitent chiropratic visits. Before we went to Vegas this year I was having pain in my back, which isn't new. I just figured it was just back pain. I finally called the doctor 2 months later dealing with pain between 7-9 on the standard pain scale. I went to the doctor and they said my kidney's are fine (which is what I was worried about) and it must be a sprained muscle. Basically the doctor thought I was a quack and as a preventitive [shut-up] measure I would have x-rays taken and muscle relaxers 3 times a day. The following day (Friday) I get a message from the doctor. She tells me there "really is" something wrong. She tells me I have lumbar spinal stenosis. Great... I have feared this moment. I honestly thought it would never happen. I am scared. I start reading up on this lovely medical term and blurbs say... walking with a walker or leaning over a grocery cart can help alieviate the pain. I am 30 years old and crippled! Fantastic. I have to start all over with medical treatments. Starting with the pain pills 3 times a day for 3 weeks. There's a catch though... I can't take 2 out of the 3 doses as I work full-time and have 2 kids and these things make me pass out. If those don't work I will move onto physical therapy. If PT is unsuccessful cortisone shots and lastly back surgery. It's pretty much eminent though. So my coloinal "dream" house is not going to be a reality. We will need to buy a ranch...

So all of those things just really got to me. It was a lot to digest. After talking about it a lot getting my thoughts off my chest I feel better.

On a better note I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. My mom is coming out to visit and I am going to cook/bake. I can't wait to see her. We are going to have our Thanksgiving alone and not go over and visit Tom's family for desert. It will be a nice time to bond and re-connect and for her to see our kids and get to spend time with them. Then we go to Florida for Christmas!

Sigh of relief...

2008-11-02T21:52:00.002-05:00

We finally hired two babysitters! Now I can have time away with my hubby! It's so exciting!

26 years ago...

2008-10-26T00:01:00.000-04:00

Today marks the 26th anniversary that I lost my dad... It is the 26th anniversary on the 26th day of the month. It's just weird. I never thought that the numbers would climb so high. I honestly never thought I would outlive my father. It was a fear I had growing up. That fear almost broke up my marriage. But with some help I got through it. Now I feel that I can face most anything with a different perspective. Every year that goes by, I feel that I have taken some sort of life experience that [I feel] my dad would have wanted me to endure. And for the most part I feel that I have taken them in stride.

I talk to my dad's brothers and sisters and they all miss him terribly. They speak of him like one would speak of God. It just really makes me wish I could have known my dad for more than 4 years. Those 4 years I have clung onto for dear life trying not to overwrite any memories with new ones. Because I just don't want to forget. I can't. But as time passes by it just seems like it all was a dream. Most of my life my father has been a dream, he's been in my dreams. I have had to invision him in the majority of my childhood experiences all the way to today. I would give anything for him to hug my kids. And for once not to explain to Emily that Grandpa is in heaven.

Those are all of my selfish thoughts.... But for now... I must rest easy knowing that my father is in heaven and he is with my family and I every day. And I have to dig deep for one of his hugs that only I remember.

Drive-by Post

2008-10-13T21:41:00.003-04:00

I have been slacking at blogging lately! Life has been keeping my family and I have been very busy.

I am going to shoot off a bullet point list of happenings:

We are fast approaching the Fraternal Order of Police dinner in a few weeks. Some friends are coming in from Michigan, New Hampshire and Wisconsin for the event so I am very excited to entertain a houseful.
I have been cooking/baking a lot lately and I have been loving it!
I am starting to do fall cleaning and de-cluttering. I hate doing it but I feel good shedding shit we don't need anymore.
Living in Ohio I can't handle the advertisements anymore! I can't wait for this damn election to be over.
The economy in the state it is in scares the shit out of me.
I am SO happy the price of gas has gone down!

That's all I can think of for now....

Vegas - Part II

2008-09-16T22:18:00.001-04:00

As promised here is the rest of the pics from Vegas!

30 is the New 18

2008-09-13T16:54:00.002-04:00

Well my birthday has come and gone... I am another year older and for some odd reason I feel like 30 is the new 18. I feel like I am an adult all over again.

As I mentioned in my last post we went to Las Vegas and had one hell of a time. We went with two couple friends of ours and it was a blast! Every night we were in Vegas we went to see a show.

The first night we were there we saw Le Reve at the Wynn Casino. We were running late leaving our casino so we ended up having to take a hired limo. The dude was really nice and gave us a great deal. I was really excited to see this show as I love the Cirque de Soleil. We had some complications getting our tickets before the show with our reservation which started the night off on a bad foot. The whole time during the show I was pissy about what happened and knew I had to take care of our dinner reservations... But the show was very confusing. The story line was rather confusing and I couldn't figure it out. At first it seemed like heaven and hell... Then there were ballroom dancers followed by 4 men in white suits. Just weird. After the show we ate at the Wynn Buffet. It was excellent. The food was delicious. It was on the pricey side, but worth it.

The second night we were there we saw Blue Man Group and it was a wonderful show. We saw the late show at 10PM which was 1AM back home. I was rather tired and drunk and was having a hard time staying up until the show really started to get moving. The comedy was funny and the stuff they did was pretty neat. Hands down better than Le Reve. Before the show we ate at Canaletto at the Venetian. It is an Italian restaurant. The food wasn't the best, in my own opinion, but our waiter was awesome. He really made our experience.

The third night we were there we saw Danny Gans. Danny is an entertainer who does impersonations and comedy. He was simply amazing. I really enjoyed his show. He did well over 100 impersonations while we were there and I couldn't believe while he did the impersonations he did their respective gestures. Danny is going to be leaving the Mirage Casino to go the Wynn Casino after the New Year (per a reliable source). After seeing Danny we went to a Brazilian Steakhouse, Samba. The food was delicious. I couldn't believe how tasty everything was. The meat had great flavors. The service was impeccable. After dinner our waiter came to our table with this huge piece of banana cream pie. We are all looking at each other like what the ??? Our waiter then asks, who's birthday is it? Another round of what the ??? My girlfriend then says... Melissa! So they sing happy birthday to me and we dig in. The funny thing is no one knew it was my birthday... The best thing we could guess was when we called our concierge desk there was mention of my birthday and it was noted in their system for our dinner reservations.

My birthday in Vegas was really fun. Getting old has never felt so good.

Here's some of the pics... I will have to update with more. I didn't have all of them on my camera.

Been awhile...

2008-08-29T20:12:00.003-04:00

It's been nearly a month since I have posted. The month of August has flown by...

My "big" baby girl started school. I have been working on a major project at work for nearly 8 months now and I finally finished it. I was able to have two conferences about it and it went well. Talking for 2.5 hours at a time takes a lot of you.

We are preparing to head to Las Vegas for my birthday. I never been more excited for a birthday. I don't think this compares to my 16th, 18th or 21st birthdays. I am reaching another milestone... 30. Yes... Soon I will be saying adios to my 20's and HELLO to my 30's. Now I won't be such a "baby". While I have always felt older than I really am considering I have been married almost 10 years and have had a home for 7 years I have been " grown up" for a looong time.

I will be posting before I go.

Here's my ticker -- I leave on my birthday. YEAH!!!

SYTYCD and music!

2008-08-09T18:44:00.005-04:00

I am a total dork, I admit... I watched So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD) this summer. There was jack-shit on and I have always loved dancing. I was watching the last competition episode this past week and there was this song I couldn't get out of my mind. I have a special place in my heart for classical music. It's not my first choice, but I do like the genre.

The last dance the 4 finalists did together was choreographed by Mia Michaels, who is excellent! Her song choices are always funky and fresh. The song was by the Vitamin String Quartet (VSQ) and the song was Hallelujah. I frantically searched the net for the song. I found it and found out the Vitamin String Quartet does classical cover albums for really anyone... from Pink Floyd to Incubus to Billy Joel to the Beatles. It is a totally different perspective listening to your favorite songs in string. So this newfound favorite song of mine is from Paramore, who I like. But I love this song.

It's funny because at first I started watching this show alone then it was something the girls and I enjoyed together since Em is in dance.

I am going to miss the show because it introduces new songs and artists I have never heard of. I look forward to next year.

It hurts... Part II

2008-08-01T18:53:00.004-04:00

I wrote a post back in June about a friend of mine "It hurts". Well I haven't really talked to this friend because I just didn't want to be the one putting forth all of the efforts for nothing in return. I just feel very guarded. I try to call on occasion and the one time I called to tell her about Em and a surgery she had she vented to me for 15 minutes with me saying virtually nothing. It was a waste of time - for me. Good thing we both have Verizon and share free minutes with our cell phone calls.

Yesterday I get the mail and there is a card. I notice it is from my friend. Begrudgingly, I open it up. I didn't know what the hell was going to be in the card.

I start to read the Hallmark, my favorite, card:

Finding time for friendship
seems more complicated than ever.
That's why the easy
kind of friendship
we share means so very much.
I know I can depend on you,
no matter how much time passes
between our visits or phone calls.
Just knowing you are there
fills my days with the comfort
of being thought of,
the warmth
of being cared about,
and the joy
of being understood
It would be wonderful
to see you more often,
but it's also wonderful
knowing we don't
have to work
at impressing each other
or building trust

-- open card --

Whenever I think
of true friendship,
I think of you

- Barbara Loots

My friend writes -- normally I wouldn't share this, but I need advice...

Sorry I can't not really been around much. Things have been hard, financially, emotionally, physically, not really an excuse, but it's all I have.

Thanks for sticking by...

then signed XXX

The one thing that ticks me off is I offered to pay for her plane ticket to come and visit and she flat out said no. She said she can't afford it. What the shit?? How can you not afford paying for nothing? Um... sounds wierd. I know at her job it is almost like commission. She is a therapist and makes a certain amount of money per patient she sees. But... not even a weekend??? Come on.

I honestly am out of emotion.... I think the card came a little late... Maybe I am just an unforgiving bitch. I don't like to hold things against people, I honestly just don't know...

...sigh...

End of Watch for J. Miktarian 1974 - 2008

2008-07-19T22:43:00.003-04:00

The Greater Cleveland area lost another officer last week. Joshua Miktarian was laid to rest on Friday, July, 17, 2008. He was killed in the line of duty at a "routine" traffic stop early one morning. At the young age of 33; he leaves behind his wife and his daughter only 3.5 months old.

Miktarian was shot in the head area 4 times all close range. He was shot from a 23 year old kid who had a concealed weapon. He did have a license to carry a concealed weapon, but did not have a license to kill someone. Miktarian did not have a chance to call his K-9 partner out. So his K-9 partner witnessed his death. Had his partner been called out I am sure the outcome of this situation of this horrible tragedy would have been much different.

The suspect was apprehended at his mothers house with one handcuff on from the traffic stop. So one would speculate Miktarian started to handcuff him and the kid drew his gun on him.

I watched the live feed of the funeral procession and the funeral ceremony on a local news website while at work. I had a rough day doing my job because I had this all on my mind. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my spouse, let alone in the line of duty. I don't ever want to wake up in the middle of the night to a knock on my door. I know every day my husband walks out the door, there is a chance he will not come back. I realize we all have that chance, but his is greater much like all of us. I have tried talking to my husband about this situation and he is taking it very hard in his own right. He was a fellow brother. We never knew Miktarian but we all "related" through the Thin Blue Line.

I just need to suppress my own personal feelings and put my husbands life in the hands of his platoon. If he trusts them, I trust them.

To Mrs. Miktarian and your daughter... I am so terribly sorry. There is nothing I can write or say to put into words what I am feeling for you and your family. I am sorry I never knew Josh. He seemed like a really great man and your surrounding communities have lost a wonderful man. I know Twinsburg Police Department and the community will be there for you.

God bless you and your family.

New tattoos banned for police officers...

2008-07-10T22:07:00.003-04:00

I read an article on FoxNews.com this morning regarding the Des Moines, Iowa police department prohibiting any future tattoos on their current officers and any new hires. Potentially narrowing out excellent officers from the hiring pool because they are inked. This article goes on about this new policy. The officers have filed a grievance saying it is "unreasonable". Any officers with visible tattoos will be photographed. I would presume so there won't be any sleeves being finished.

I can see both sides of this coin...

While I see the point of having the "powers that be" tell you what you can and can't have on your body and where is crossing some sort of fine line, however when you are in law enforcement those markings become almost a liability. If you have a tattoo of a clown on your forearm and you are working undercover in a Vice Unit that becomes a liability. Think about it... If you are on duty and a drug dealer sees your clown tattoo that is one thing, but if he recognizes you in plain clothes doing whatever you do off duty with your family that creates a problem. And one could imagine what would the end result would be.

Some departments also prohibit facial hair. I presume they want to maintain some sort of professionalism. I believe officers need to connect with the public. They aren't working in a suit and tie. They are dealing with criminals. To be quite frank, they need not to be impressed. If you have a mustache, beard or a goatee that's cool. That's who you are.

A problem I see is people are afraid of their officers. I remember growing up our cities officers had trading cards. Yes it's cheesy and I may be a little younger than most, but they were involved with the community.

I wish this was a simple topic, but our officers need to be able to live somewhat freely. They are not "owned" by the government. From what I understand the military has also implemented this [tattoo] rule too. While I am not sure of the reasonings for the military I totally understand for law enforcement.

I guess you just never know what you really will be when you grow up or what promotion will be coming up. So be mindful before you get inked, it could potentially cost you a career you have envisioned since your childhood.

NKOTB

2008-06-22T21:49:00.003-04:00

While listening to XM the other day I was listening to the 20 on 20. There was this really stupid song on and I glance over and see it is from the New Kids on the Block. Um, hello?! Didn't they break up like 20 years ago? I heard rumors about them getting back together, but I didn't believe it because it just couldn't be true. Well slap me silly... The New Kids on the Block are back and they are 100 in pop-star years, much like dog years.

They are in competition now with all of these other teen-bands. I know I won't be listening. It sounds bloody awful. I had to turn whatever song they were singing pretty quick. I was getting nauseous listening to it.

I was just in pure shock, and likely the last one to hear them on the radio for the first time... Oh! and get this... they are going on tour! What the hell?!

I am getting old... really fucking old.