sundry times

sigur rós

2008-06-12T23:13:00.003-05:00

i've known of sigur rós for several years now, possibly five or six. but i've never owned an album or even listened (knowingly) to an entire one. there've just been a few songs that friends have shared with me that i've listened to over and over.

when i heard that they were playing in kc this summer something in me knew i couldn't miss this. even though it was nearly $30, i had to go.

ethereal. childlike. imaginative. playful. inspiring. delightful.

these are just a few words to describe the experience. i don't know what the land of iceland does to create its musicians, but bjork and emiliana, also embody these - have this amazing full-range of voice.

there were moments when the music would fill every corner of the theatre with its loudness. and there were moments when the single sound of the bells or one voice could fill everything with its quietness. sometimes all eyes were drawn to the stage where magical onion-like globes hung suspended in coloured lights, glowing yellow from within. and there were times when the lights fanned out green across the ceiling and into the crowd. once i even noticed how the bank of lights cast a shadow on the ceiling - a normally mundane tangle of wires and cylinders suddenly mysterious and part of the beauty filling up the room.

watching the band, it was the music that played them; they themselves were the instruments. the way they would sometimes all quiet themselves so that one could play or sing; the rest still. eyes down. waiting, listening for where the music wants to go next.

during the encore song, i watched as jónsi sang. for the first time during the evening, he held nothing in his hands. and they couldn't be still. couldn't stay down at his sides, where he tried to keep them. they found their way up, first one, then the other.

my only complaint: i'd love to hear them w/o a yelling crowd. i sense the band understands how to use silence and i'd love to experience that.

going to africa

2008-05-15T22:57:00.002-05:00

so i'm leaving for africa this afternoon. rwanda & kenya to be precise. it's going to be a long trek there and i already feel a little weird. not sure if i'm "feeling" the malaria medication or just think i am. :)

i feel like a trip like this makes one look different. maybe just to yourself, but i'm intrigued to look in the mirror two weeks from today to see.

i wanted to share really great remarks pre-trip, but time has flown by (or as donna said the other night, "time is freaking up my mind") and so this is all i have time for.

a moment with the flowers

2008-04-29T17:17:00.009-05:00

flowers have been my prayers of late. so i thought i'd share a few of my favourites from this spring...

the flowers of late winter and early spring occupy places in our hearts well out of proportion to their size.
~ gertrude s wister

the simple delicacy of crocus be they white or yellow or purple, striped or solid - takes my breath away every year: to see a crocus rise from ground that has been cold and dead for so many months, no rose in its summer glory can match it.

flowers have an expression of countenance as much as men or animals. some seem to smile; some have a sad expression; some are pensive and diffident; others again are plain, honest and upright... ~ henry ward beecher

can't you see that pansy raising its eyebrow at you? and this little bright-eyed blue guy - he's just about to burst with some sort of question or exclamation.

earth laughs in flowers.
~ ralph waldo emerson

people from a planet without flowers
would think we must be mad with joy the whole time
to have such things about us.
~ iris murdoch

my "Body of Christ" art entry

2008-03-25T20:19:00.006-05:00

on saturday night my church had a "Body of Christ" art show to start off the all-night prayer vigil before Easter. i entered a photo and poem piece. the image below is a digital shot of the framed piece - i'll try to update with a better image...

here I AM.

the Son of Man
did not come to be served,
but to serve, and to give
His life.

God fashioned His own Son, knit Him together
in a woman’s womb.

the Son said, “here I AM.” submitted Himself,
emptied Himself, released His rights, took
them off like a robe, folding it calmly and
carefully, placing it gently
at His Father’s feet.

“I have come to do Your will, o God.”

and the Father is well-pleased with His Son.

and the Son of God became
the Son of Man. became
human. became
salvation.

but first—

the Son of Man is going to suffer.
the Son of Man is going to be betrayed
into the hands of men.
the Son of Man will be betrayed
to the chief priests
and the teachers of the law.
the Son of Man will be handed over
to be crucified.

this Son of Man who said:

I AM the LIGHT of the world.
I AM the WAY.
I AM the BREAD of life.
I AM the true VINE.
I AM the GATE for the sheep.
I AM the good SHEPHERD.

this Son of Man
is going to suffer.

“I AM the LIGHT of the world,” He says.
quiet enough you have to lean in, to hear Him.
No darkness! for whoever follows Him.
just light. light forever. even the darkness
will not be dark to You.

“I AM the WAY,” He says. the way to the Father. the way to truth.
the way to life. the only way. the lighted way. the Christ-with-you way.

“I AM the BREAD of life,” He says. promising no more hunger.
taking it that one step further that makes you squirm and think
maybe you didn’t hear Him right because it sounds a little awkward.
“this bread is My flesh” – and if you want life, you have to eat it.

He offers it freely for you. for me. for children and for sinners.
for the world. for your neighbour. your enemy. your boss.
for that person you can never quite make eye contact with. for
the you, you can never quite face.

this bread,
this Christ,
this Body – broken
for you
is life. even in death, is life.

“I AM the true VINE,” He says.
“and My Father, [He’s] the gardener.”

the Father plants His Son in the earth. in among us.
He tends Him. and so big is His scope, that from Him,
from His Son, from His tending, we come. we are
the branches. us in Him brings all kinds of fruit.
us without Him? mere branches. dead ones. dry ones.

“I AM the GATE for the sheep,” He says. the way to salvation
and safekeeping. the way to green pastures and still waters.

a good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.
“I AM the good SHEPHERD,” He says. “I know My sheep.”
before a word is ever on their tongues. I will risk everything:
“I lay down My life for the sheep.”

and the Father is well-pleased with His Son.
and the Father is well-pleased.

for the Father so loves the world.
and the Son so loves the Father.
and greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends.

and the Son calls us friends.

and the Son lays down His life.

and the Father is well-pleased.

[note: Scripture is in italics.
also, some of the layout doesn't come through in this format]

another good one

2008-03-17T23:47:00.004-05:00

(i'll have to post again later about this fabulous day, but i couldn't let saint patrick's day end w/o a post. even if it's only a wee one.)

i was going to read saint patrick's confession in full again today - i think it's been a year or two since i read it - but time got away from me and i only ended up reading the first little bit. he references 2 corinthians 3:3:

“your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ Himself wrote it—not with ink, but with God's living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human hearts.”

and though i know i've read it numerous times, i was struck by the image of Christ writing on my life with the Spirit; the replacement of ink with Spirit. how amazing and beautiful is that?

people always ask me why saint patrick? why ireland? one thing about patrick is that it seems once he admitted his need of God, he didn't turn from Him. he fashioned the rest of his days to follow Him and share His gospel with whomever he came into contact. why not celebrate such a person?

hope your saint patrick's day was a good one.

May the strength of God pilot us,
may the wisdom of God instruct us,
may the hand of God protect us,
may the word of God direct us.
Be always ours this day and for evermore.
- Saint Patrick

time to stare

2008-03-06T23:59:00.001-06:00

Leisure

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

WH Davies

gloaming

2008-02-29T23:20:00.003-06:00

loch lomond, scotland

[gloh-ming]
n. twilight; dusk; glow of sunrise or sunset
another great example of a word that is what it is.

give me the hour o' gloaming grey,
it makes my heart sae cheery o'.
- robert burns

but of the whole day i prefer, for my part,
the quiet hour that brings in the gloaming
- rev. william buchanan

o gloaming, thou hast richly shed a gladness over me,
as thy pale mantle thou hast spread alike o’er land and sea;
and while i’ve wandered forth alone in thy sweet tranquil hour,
i’ve soared in thought to worlds unknown through thy enchanting power.
- robert gemmell

if every night i could sit with a cup of tea and watch the gloaming, i would be rich indeed.

emotional onomatopoeia

2008-02-20T14:28:00.003-06:00

petřín gardens (prague)

prepare yourself to comment...

as onomatopoeia refers to words that "imitate the sounds associated with the objects or actions they refer to", i think there are words that somehow imitate the emotion or the meaning of what they're referring to.

alas - every time i say this word, it is exactly what i feel/mean.
wisp - the sound is the image
lovely - the word embodies what it's describing
daisy - it is that cheery simple flower

these are the ones that first come to my mind. i know i've had other moments with words like this. i'd love to hear some of yours...

comfortable silence

2008-02-20T13:57:00.010-06:00

petřín gardens (prague)

if you can sit in silence with a person for half an hour and yet be entirely comfortable,
you and that person can be friends. if you cannot, friends you'll never be and you need
not waste time in trying.
- lm montgomery (the blue castle)

i'm rereading several of lucy maude montgomery's books (most famous for "anne of green gables") - and am currently in the middle of one of my favourites, "the blue castle". right before the above quote, two of the main characters are just getting to know each other and run out of gas on an abandoned road. the guy says, "we'll just sit here, and if we think of anything worthwhile saying we'll say it. otherwise, not."

i think heaven will be like that. full of lovely silences that speak their own depth and joy. and only words that are aptly spoken.

the most perfect refreshment...

2008-02-18T23:38:00.004-06:00

“to sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.” - jane austen (mansfield park)

another photo from my may 2007 trip; again from the park in madrid; once more, overlooked until it flashed into life on my desktop, surprising me with the peaceful sun and shade, as i sit inside my cold house wrapped in a blanket trying to ignore the slushy cold outside.

folks always talk about people-watching and how fun that is. i do enjoy people-watching, though often it can be a bit overwhelming. but sitting outside and soaking in a scene of the simplest outdoor views - that is life. (e.g. in order to take this photo, i had to wait to ensure no one was milling about in my photograph...)

sometimes simple

2008-02-14T10:42:00.002-06:00

i recently discovered that on my mac i can set the desktop image to pull from my image folder of choice and change the image every five minutes. it can be a bit distracting when i should be working b/c whenever it changes, i want to hide all my open windows and see which photograph is now showing. but it's good for the soul. :) (my soul, at least) so i'm currently reliving my trip last may to europe & the uk. and this morning came across this photo (above). in the midst of all my other shots from the trip, this one never particularly stood out before; it's quite simple; could be from anywhere - doesn't seem exotic or foreign or adventurous. yet there's something about that one stripe of purple with all that green; the spotlights of sunshine (especially the little ones easily overlooked in the foreground). i almost felt like i should apologize for having overlooked this little gem for so long. it was similar to the feeling i have when i happen upon a dandelion in just the right placement and i think, at this moment, you are a flower, not a weed.

[to give the top photo its "exotic"-due, this was taken in the "central park" of madrid, el parque del buen retiro, whilst i was visiting kate & andré. as for the dandelion shots - the first i set up (in wichita), the second i truly happened upon (in germany).]

"did you think we'd all dream the same?"

2008-02-12T20:26:00.001-06:00

i've been hinted at and told recently that it's been a long time since i posted. i always feel like i have to have some great event to report, so i wait...and wait. in an effort to end the waiting - i decided to take a step and post something.

this morning i was driving, listening to my ipod and in one of those moments that seems perfectly timed, this song by missy higgins started playing.

"Scar"

He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and
spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking
her tongue and said
"This will all have to come undone"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to blunt me so I'd fit

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find
You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?

reclaiming again

2007-11-02T12:48:00.000-05:00

who knew that my urge to photograph statues would "pay off" (in non-monetary ways)? i found out from the producer/cinematographer, erica black, that i will not get paid, but i will be credited in the film - and i will now have the previous photo (of the king on horseback) as well as this one, which i took in toledo, spain earlier this year.

i presume the photos will appear as stills in the documentary; and the fact that erica already submitted my info to imdb makes me feel pretty confident that they will not fall to the cutting room floor! the film is supposed to release in march 2008 - hopefully it will come to a theatre near you (& me)! that would be fun.

a huge THANK YOU to michelle strong for scanning them in proper-film-style for me.

reclaiming the blade

2007-11-01T12:18:00.000-05:00

yes, i've been a blog slacker - but this was too good to pass up...remember when i mentioned selling a photograph through flickr for a university textbook? (see previous entry) well, i got another flickr mail from a girl wanting to use the above photograph for an upcoming documentary film!!

reclaiming the blade is all about the medieval sword. something i myself am fascinated with. and guess who is going to be narrating & interviewed? john rhys davies, viggo mortensen, karl urban, etc!! i can hardly believe it. i've yet to see if i get any $ for it, but she did say i would get a credit. :)

in the midst - sep 7

2007-09-06T10:15:00.000-05:00

my second photography show opens tomorrow evening at the imago gallery in the crossroads for first friday! i am already overwhelmed by the support and excitement of my friends...and it hasn't even "happened" yet.

i'd love to see you all there (217 w. 19th ter; kcmo 64108 - just east of central, on the southside of 19th terrace). it's "officially" from 7-9pm and that's when rachel bonar's band, oriole post, will be playing. but if that time frame doesn't work for you, i'll be there as early as 5pm - so you're welcome to stop by before all the festivities. and...if you can't make it out friday night - i will be moving the show to the jacob's well gallery for the remainder of september.

a recent random fun photography fact: i sold this photo for $50 to be published in a text book. theories of performance by elizabeth bell comes out in october 2007.

i first received an email in flickr from dr. bell’s assistant:

Your image of your friend acting like a car salesperson struck us as particularly engaging for theories of performing identity. I'd just been typing in keywords and it came up in a search. When Dr. Bell saw the image, she thought it would be great for the book!

after i expressed interest, dr. bell sent me further info:

Enough about performance, let’s talk about your image and this book. My goal in choosing photographs is to stay away from staged performances. There are plenty of photographs available of stage plays, concerts, and “famous” performers. Instead, I’m trying to include photographs that capture the fascinating ways that humans are creating, not “faking,” themselves, their relationships, and their commitments in the world. I’m also trying to include photographs that are really interesting to look at, beautifully composed and shot, and ripe for discussion in the classroom. Your photograph is a wonderful complement to the section on Performing Social Roles. Jaclyn and I laugh every time we look at it! You certainly captured the "sales" smile and handshake!

so wonderfully strange. in this instance, of course, i owe at least 60% to chelsea's acting & charm. :)

which wings? (please cast your vote)

2007-07-22T00:04:00.000-05:00

taken at locksbrook in bath, england. this particular angel stood out to me,
nestled among trees--further up, deeper in--the sleepy folds of the cemetery.

i'm not sure which is the better of the two, so i'm again asking for your opinions--
which of these two do you like better? (see below for larger versions)

cervantes welcomes you

2007-07-09T23:18:00.000-05:00

cervantes called toledo "the glory of spain and light of her cities". having only been to a few cities in the same general region, i cannot say for sure; but it was certainly an adventure traipsing after kate & andré down the narrow and twisty cobbled streets that could dead end at any moment.

there were churches everywhere, which isn't surprising having formerly been the capital of the holy roman, visigoth and muslim empires. i opted for bravely climbing the tower of the cathedral while kate & andré serenely sat down below.

i am so glad i was able to visit them in spain. my previous attempt to see spain in 2001 didn't pan out, but this was so much better. and it was delightful getting to spend an entire week with kate whom i've been friends with since we were two, but who i rarely get to see since we graduated ten years ago - and andré, whom i normally only get to chat with over the dinner table on christmas break.

thank you two, for being such good friends and hosts.

missing lloyd chudley

2007-07-01T23:34:00.000-05:00

i was just checking some film info on imdb.com tonight and came across a new film coming out based on a philip pullman book (the golden compass). well, he's the author of a victorian mystery trilogy that i'd hoped to write screenplays for one day, but i was beaten to the punch this last year when the bbc put out a tv movie of the first book, ruby in the smoke. tonight, this made a connection in my mind to lloyd alexander another young adult author i love, whose books i hope to write screenplays for one day. to my dismay i saw a beginning and ending date by his name. no, there are no movies in the works (according to imdb) but this was no longer on my mind.

lloyd chudley alexander died on may 17th. just a few weeks ago. a few months back, i'd gotten an address for him from his publisher. i'd wanted to write him and tell him how much i loved his books and check on the possibility of obtaining rights to write a screenplay. i know the latter part can be done through others; i know that authors probably get loads of letters - but i felt saddened to think, that i had a small window of time to get a letter to him, and my brief delay had cancelled that possibility. how can you not love an author who describes one of his main characters like this:

as for theo, he loved virtue, despised injustice, and was always slightly hungry. apart from that, he was reasonably happy.

i named my first cat after theo when i was ten years old. hopefully one day i'll be able to dedicate a film to lloyd chudley.

segovia: simple, detailed, layered

2007-06-29T10:53:00.000-05:00

kate & i took a bus to segovia. en route we had some gorgeous views of the mountains across the plains, but i always waited to long to try capturing picture. the bus station is rarely by the best parts of a city, so my first glimpse of segovia, was nothing special. we walked to a "little" church, however, and sat on a bench behind it to eat our bocadillos (turkey & cheese sandwiches)--

oh! allow me to digress back to madrid for a moment; i just remembered a great moment. kate & i had been walking for ages and finally stopped to eat our sandwiches on the steps across from the palace. we were really thirsty, but i think had already drunk our juice or had forgotten to bring them. but, kate, always thinking, decided to try drinking her orange. she removed a tiny portion of the peel and started trying to suck the juice out; of course, getting it all over herself. but she was quite proud of her quick solution. i opted for eating my orange (which was freaking delicious!). we were also entertained by a small boy who was taking great delight in chasing a pigeon around the stairs, laughing with pure glee every time it hopped away from him and a man sitting near by whose camera made a sci-fi laser sound any time he took a photo.--

ok, so we were eating lunch in segovia, looking at this gorgeous church, san millán, seeing the spires of the cathedral in the distance. then, we moved on to the ancient roman aqueduct, which, like the cathedral, you can see peeking above the city.

all in all - segovia was lovely. and in an almost humble manner - at least generally speaking; the cathedral, aquaduct and castle are all larger than life and gorgeous, but even so, there's a simplicity to them that made me like them more.

cast your green vote

2007-06-27T16:23:00.000-05:00

i need your help. these two photos are very similar and i can't decide which is the better of the two. can you please comment and let me know which one you like best? muchas gracias!

uno...

dos...

(both were taken in camarma, españa - where my friend, kate lived)

a spanish swartley sunday::el parque del buen retiro

2007-06-17T13:42:00.000-05:00

on of my favourite days in spain was the sunday that we spent in madrid. i'd heard about the typical "swartley sunday" and how kate and andré would take the train to madrid to spend most of the day wandering through the huge parque del buen retiro (350 acres) and step out for a coffee before heading home. the weather was gorgeous and there was so much to see in the park: a rose garden, great paths through trees, the "forest" monument for the victims of the march 11th (2004) bombing, and brain trees! they tried to prepare me for these delightful trees, but i think upon my first sight i actually gasped or clapped or both. andré thinks they're just a regular evergreen type tree, but cut to look this way. true imagination! i also love the completely natural "dr seuss trees" (as kate & andré have dubbed them) with their tall spindly slanted trunks and leafy tops.

they also had some great fountains and statues, one of which, el angel caído, depicts the fallen lucifer. it was stunning. i wanted to take a photo, but felt kind of bad, like i shouldn't want to. but photographers capture what they see - so i did. and was quite pleased when i saw the print: that bit of hopeful blue that he's cowering before - brilliant.

alcalá de henares

2007-06-13T11:31:00.000-05:00

it's often quite comical being a photographer. people are always confused as to what exactly you're photographing - and why. for instance, these doors. i'm walking along the street with kate - and suddenly i see these doors. brilliant! perfect subject. so i stop. and there were probably four or five passersby confused by my choice.

one of my favourite things about alcalá were the huge stork nests on the tops of buildings around town. apparently storks are good luck, so the city wants them to roost wherever they please. may be hard to tell from the photo how big the nests are - but just note that you can easily see them and they're on top of a really tall building.

kate's school was in alcalá - luckily for me, she had quite a bit of free time while i was in town so she toured me around. but when i stopped to take more than one photo, she'd find the nearest seat and start in on her homework.

camarma, and that something more

2007-06-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

i walked down this street every day to the bus stop in my friend's town - b/c to do anything we had to go one town over (alcala). i remember seeing this shot and setting myself up to capture it, when the sun went behind a cloud. i waited and waited. started feeling foolish and tried to convince myself it wasn't that cool anyway and i should just carry on. something made me stay, and wait. looking at the photo now, i see it's b/c here is a perfect example that my angle, isn't always the full story. the tree itself looks somewhat skimpy and awkwardly shaped, yet the shadow on the wall shows a full, lovely round tree.

the sun reveals something more than i can see.

i've started uploading my film photographs to flickr.
you can check out the digital snaps in the may travels set
and the 35mm photos in the a may journey set.

waiting

2007-06-11T17:14:00.000-05:00

God keeps no one waiting unless He sees
that it is good for him to wait...
you will find that the long wait
has done you some kind of good
which you would not have had otherwise.
but you must regard it as waiting,
not as camping. you must keep on
praying for light...

-cs lewis (mere christianity)-

oh oxford

2007-06-02T03:42:00.000-05:00

this was my window view when i woke up. you can see oxford's city centre in the distance. i got in last night and just walking through the streets was wonderful. jackie & i passed by magdalen college and saw this:

and for a moment it was like i was actually seeing a life size version of my photograph from my last visit. it obviously is a life size version, so i'm sure that doesn't make a lot of sense. can't explain, but it was bizarre and brilliant at the same time.

well, i'm off to start the day!