Don't Ever Forget...I'm from New York

Get Over It!

2006-12-30T15:19:00.000-05:00

The box office in which I work was closed on the 23rd, 24th, and 25th of December. A perfectly reasonable holiday break. Even though no one was in the office and there was no show going on the box office was open for our patrons starting on the 26th.

I don't mind being busy upon our return but what brought out my ire was the attitude that some of these people had. They were angry and appalled that we had been closed the previous day...the 25th...Christmas Day. I understand that not everyone celebrates Christmas but a great many people in the world do and unfortunately the entire world shuts down on Christmas Day. If the holiday means nothing to you then it is just any other day, but that doesn't mean that others should have to work.

It is RUDE to call and yell at us because we were given some time off for the holiday. What if someone yelled at them when they went on vacation or took a day away from their responsibilites to recharge and relax. Something tells me that they wouldn't like it very much.

This is why I don't ask for phone numbers......

2006-12-30T14:36:00.000-05:00

I tend to avoid gay bars. I don't have anything against them but it's really not my scene. Every so often I find myself at one and remember all the reasons I don't go to them in the first place.

I recently went to a gay bar without even realizing that I was going to a gay bar. I had never heard of the place that we were going. Even when walking into the bar and spying two men who struck me as gay I didn't put the pieces together. Walking into a sea of muscle bound men in tight t-shirts that were not seasonal in the slightest brought everything into perspective however.

When we went outside to smoke we were making all sorts of friends. One was Joe a slightly balding not that cute but very sweet accountant from South Carolina. He was very interested in talking to me, but all I could think about when talking to him was the silver lipstick on half of his upper lip. His friends(Jacqu and Angela) were lovely and told us to come and say hi when we went back inside the bar.

We didn't say hello to them but when I went back outside to smoke I ran into to them again. Jaqu, a cute aspiring South African film director and fan of One Tree Hill, and I start to chat. Soon Joe decided to join the conversation to tell me how cute I am and to apologize for being southern. I don't know where the apology came from or for what reason so I just laughed a little bit. He gave me his card in case I "ever need an accountant". I politely took it. He offers to buy me a drink, I say no thank you. He offers to buy me a drink again, I say no thank you again. He offers to buy me a drink a third time followed by my third and slightly more annoyed no thank you. I could have just taken the drink, but then I would have felt obligated to continue conversing with this man. I don't want to be mean but he was a little too in my face for someone that I wasn't interested in.

Next Joe tells Angela I'm straight and that is why I'm not interested in him. Standing less then a foot away from me he thinks that he is whispering this to his friend Angela. He was actually shouting. I have given this man no reason to believe that I have any interest in him and he still proceeds to put his hands on my butt and kiss me on the cheek and kiss me on the cheek again and try to kiss me on the mouth. If he really thought that I was straight then I'm not sure what was going through his head. If he was calling me straight as a coy way of flirting with me it didn't work. I had to draw the line at physical contact. Not only was I not attracted to him but that little bit of silver lipstick was the only thing that I could focus on.

I did attempt to continue to talk to Jacqu while Joe was molesting me but the conversation didn't really start to go anywhere until Joe got the hint that he wasn't getting anywhere with me.

Cue a very rude European man. I say European because when he first came over to us he said that he was from France. Later in the evening he had no idea what we were talking about when we mentioned him being from France because apparently he was from Belgium. He obviously wanted to interrupt our conversation but rather then say excuse me he talked very loudly at us rather then to us. Realizing that neither one of us was going to acknowledge him he turned to Angela and says "Who would you rather have: that(yes, I'm the that he was referring to) or me(the Belgian/French guy)." Is he for real?

Throughout all of this Jacqu and continued to chat. Or at least we tried to. I decided to be bold and ask for his phone number. He gives it to me. Cue the Belgian/French guy to harass Jacqu some more. Jaqcu chose that moment to starts talking about his BOYFRIEND!

Mortified I slink away and delete the number in the cab.

All It Takes Is A Good Line

2006-12-09T17:11:00.000-05:00

Last night I saw the movie "The Holiday". It was fantastic. I had a smile that I couldn't get rid of for the entire length of the movie. I'm counting the days till this movie comes out on DVD. That's how much I loved it.

Jude Law was absolutely adorable in the film, but the man knew how to throw out a good line. I imagine that this is a characteristic that Jude shares with his character Graham.

My favorite line of his(mind you this is the paraphrased version of the line because for the life of me I can't remember the exact wording, but I loved the sentiment): "We're going to go and get lunch and get to know each other because I can't think of any more reasons not to."It was said with a cock of the head and a wry smile. I'm the reason that these romantic comedies are such successes because I'm the type of moviegoer who falls for that sort of thing hook, line, and sinker.

This is a line. There is no question about it. It may be sincere, but it is a line. He was trying to reel Cameron Diaz in and it worked. They went to lunch. Being a romantic comedy you can imagine how things end up, but this got me to thinking about my own life. If a cute boy were to say something like that to me I would walk right into it. I have fallen for worse. If a boy says something cute to me and smiles he's basically won the battle. More often then not it turns more comedic tragedy then romantic comedy but it still funny and somewhat charming. Not because it ends in a fairytale romance, but because it affords me with plenty of stories to someday be used in a book that chronicles my adventures in dating long after I've happily settled down with whatever gorgeous man sweeps me off my feet. That's what all these lines are leading to. Or at least that is what I like to tell myself. :)

I'm an intelligent man, but flash a cute smile, say something cute and my common sense goes out the window. Someone needs to shut that window so I stop losing my sense, but if that were to happen I would have nothing to write in my one day to be published dating chronicles. I guess that means I'm just going to have to keep falling for those lines.

Paging Jude Law......

Privacy Please!

2006-12-09T16:45:00.000-05:00

I'm of the school of thought that there is no reason for the urinal. It's a useless invention. Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I want to use the bathroom in front of the masses. I realize that there are many men who can go to the bathroom no matter where they are whether it be in a urinal or on the street. I'm not one of these individuals. I like to be in a stall. I like my privacy. I'll admit it....I'm pee shy.

A few nights ago I was at a friends reading and I went to use the one person bathroom. I thought that I locked the door, but in the middle of using the restroom the door opens and an old man walks in. The lock clearly was not working. Most people would say excuse me and step outside and wait. It was obviously a one person bathroom. Not this gentlemen. He was older and must have thought because I was a man I didn't mind having him stand there while I finished using the bathroom. That was a false assumption. Having him stand there watch me use the bathroom flustered me. I had to wash my hands quickly and get out of there because the man was not only standing there watching me but he was giving me definite signs that he was getting impatient with waiting. I'm sorry sir, but you are the one who barged in on me. You don't need to be getting angry with me.

I just needed to get that out there!

The Real World: Denver

2006-11-30T16:43:00.000-05:00

The Real World Denver is quickly turning into trashtastic television. If this is how these people behave in real life then God help them. Those casting people, however, knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they put these people onto the Real World. Here are a few of my thoughts on last night's episode:

After three days in Denver, Jenn is proclaiming that Colie will be in her wedding. Really?? I doubt that. Let's not forget that this is after Jenn thought that it would be a good idea to have sex with Alex knowing that Colie was very quickly developing more then physical feelings for him. Isn't that what everyone does to their bridesmaids????

Colie says she doesn't like the way that she is acting with Alex. Why don't you stop acting like that then. There is a novel idea. You have to live with these people. Must you create such tension on your first day in the house.

Stephen is already disgusted with these people. First he has to share a room with a homosexual! God forbid! Then after hearing Alex and Jenn discuss their hookup I'm pretty sure he is ready to condem them to hell. There was fire in his eyes when they were talking about. Don't get me wrong these two are not making the greatest impression in the world, but who is Stephen to judge them.

Why in God's name was Colie looking at Jenn when she was in the shower? Where was that hickey that Colie found? After three days there if Colie was being that up in my face while I was in the shower I would tell her just ease up. The shower isn't a time to have a discussion.

I cannot tell a lie..Jenn doesn't look so good without makeup.

I think that I'm really going to like Brooke. She was cracking me up when she was giving the guy that brought Colie home the once over.

Next week looks ridiculous and amazing all at the same time.

I haven't forgotten I once had a thriving blog....

2006-11-30T15:39:00.000-05:00

I haven't written a post in my blog since August. Despicable. Deplorable. I have no excuse. One day turned into two turned into a week turned into a month. This poor site started to grow moth balls, but it's never too late to get back on the horse. I thought that I would jump right into one of the more interesting things that has happened to me since I've ceased writing the blog. A lot of these entries tended to focus on the not so wonderful men that I found myself in encounters with. Not one to break from a trend I thought I would relay the tale of the barker.....

My 26th birthday was a raucuous good time filled with lots of friend many of which who though a fantastic gift would be bringing someone for me to hook up with. They walked in with men that I had never seen and took me aside to tell me that he was there for me. Were they aware that they were brought as gifts? The gesture was lovely if not a bit strange. Maybe if I had decided to hook up with one of them I would be relaying a different tale or registering for our committment ceremony. Somehow I doubt it.

The evening very quickly took a warm and fuzzy turn due to the many many oh wait let me say it again many shots that I had taken. Apparently 26 is the year of the shot. At one point I had to two tequila shots in quick succession. Tequila is probably my least favorite drink. I turned to my roommate Greg with pleading eyes hoping he would intervene and help me escape the wrath of a tequila shot, but he was unable to save me from my fate. In the midst of this tequila shot haze I was introduced to the "barker". I do remember his name, but I'm going to stick with the code name that doesn't have any meaning until much later in the story.

The barker was charming, handsome(thanks to the tequila) and very very very tall. The barker just happened to be at that bar. Most people in that bar had some sort of connection to me or someone that I knew. The barker did not. The barker and I chatted and made out and chatted and made out. I don't like to see people making out at bars and yet time and time again I will find myself doing it. I really shouldn't be pointing fingers at anyone. Eventually the barker and I decided to go back to his apartment right.

We found ourselves on the bed. We were making out. He breaks away from the making out to look me in the eye. I thought that perhaps he wanted to say something. Nope. He wanted to bark in my face. The man was barking in my face like a dog. I was drunk and confused so I didn't really know what to do, but I knew it was abnormal. Most people don't understand how I restrained myself from laughing in his face, but in my drunken haze I was just confused and dumbstruck. We made out some more and he barked some more. For the life of me I'm not sure why I stayed for the barking, but in my drunken state I decided to just go with it. In the midst of our making out he passed out on top of me. I told you earlier that the barker was tall. That was an understatement. I'm tall but this man was a giant. When I was kissing him outside of the bar I had to stand on my tippy toes in order to reach him. I'm 6'1. God knows how tall that he was. Maybe it was because he was so tall and his entire being was so large or maybe it was because I was so drunk, but I could not move the boy off of me. I tried to no avail and eventually just gave up and went to sleep myself.

When I woke up int he morning he wasn't on top of me anymore. I was hung over. What I should have done is leap out of the bed and head out of there. What I actually did was give myself a moment to compose my hungover head. That is the moment he managed to roll over on top of me again. Once again I couldn't move him. I was a fool for not seizing the window of opportunity, but a pounding headache can do that to you. When finally woke up again a couple of hours later more making out occured. I don't know why, but I suppose I could have rationalized it in my head that the barking was from being so drunk. Nope. After a few minutes of making he out he broke away from me and started barking again. Fully awake and completely sober I took this moment to tell him that I had to use the bathroom. He was under the impression that we were going to hook up some more. Wrong impression. I had enough of this barking. It was weird, and honestly I'm just not into it. There was no buildup or discussion. It was just barking. I got out of the bathroom and did not go anywhere near the bed. I threw on my clothes mumbling something about brunch plans. He walked me to the door. With every second that passed by my thoughts and prayers were that of him not asking me for my phone number. He didn't! Victory!!! He kissed me goodbye and I was on my way thinking that I would never see the barker again.

WRONG!

About a week ago I was riding the train to Times Square and the barker got on. I was sitting listenting to my ipod and reading soap opera digest. He was standing above me obviously trying to figure out where he knew me from. When we met I had a faux hawk, but recently I had decided to shave my head and be done with the faux hawk for the time being. That probably threw him off the trail, but not enough to shake my face from his head. He sat down next to me. I could feel his eyes boring into my head but I was determined to keep on listening to Panic! At The Disco and reading the week's recap of As The World Turns. The barker wasn't content with the mystery. He tapped me on the shoulder. I took one of the earphones out of my ear and turned toward him.

"Have we met?" he asked me in such a manner that led me to believe that he had already decided that we in fact did know each other. He either could not place or was being coy and knew exactly where he knew me from.

I looked him right in the eye, "No. I don't think so." I put my earphone in and went back to my soap opera digest.

I understand that this was not the nicest thing in the world to do. If someone did that to me I would hate it, but this is not a person that I wanted to welcome back into my life. What if I said yes I do know you...what are we going to talk about?

"Hey...remember that time that you barked at me when we drunkenly hooked up on my birthday??" Really. I don't see the need.

I'm not saying it is one of my prouder moments, but it is what it is.

Check This Out....

2006-07-10T17:06:00.000-04:00

So I've branched out a bit.

I've started to do some writing for a pop culture blog. I'm writing some soap opera news tidbits, and recaps of Big Brother: All Stars and Footballers Wives.

I've linked it on my blog. Just click on the Pop Culture Whore link and it will take you right there. I'm writing under the pen name of Soap Opera Whore. haha.

I'm still getting my bearings in what form I want these recaps to take so bear with me, but take a look, tell me what you think.

This doesn't mean that I'm abandoning this blog. I was just on a brief hiatus, but I'm back now and hope to post some things in the next couple of days!

The Meeting....

2006-06-30T18:05:00.000-04:00

Entire days would pass when no one would walk into the store that Trevor worked in. The owner, Mrs. Grabow, was a very eccentric old woman who paid Trevor an exorbitant amount of money to sit in the store. She fancied herself a patron of the arts. What appeared to be an endless supply of money wrote the paychecks for the writers, artists, actors, or anyone aspiring to be in the arts for doing nothing more then sitting. Trevor had met her once since had been hired. Every Monday morning a check would be on the counter waiting for him when he opened up the store. It was a bizarre situation, but it was better then filing.

The door was equipped with a very annoying bell that rang every time someone entered the store. Trevor looked up from his magazine when he heard the bell. Trevor’s sister, Anne, a raven haired beauty walked into the store. She had perfect skin, the body of a model, the appetite of a professional eater, and her idea of a workout was running downstairs to the corner deli to pick up a carton of ice cream. She was two years older then Trevor who had to spend a wretched amount of time in the gym just so he wouldn't balloon to three hundred pounds. Not an easy feat when you are a chain smoker. Anne was the golden child, the apple of their father's eye. Trevor was something else all together.

"Have I got news for you?" she said as she leaned over the counter eating the remains of a snickers bar.

"I don't want any news from you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"Every time you have news for me it usually ends up with me in the emergency room."

Anne would every so often get the urge to go on an adventure, and she always wanted Trevor to be the one to risk his life with her. Most recently they had gone whitewater rafting, rock climbing, and bungee jumping. The end of each day was capped off with a visit to the emergency room for Trevor. It wasn't the actual activities that led to his visit to the ER. Usually it resulted from Trevor's clumsiness post daring adventure. Trevor was more mindful of the fact that he was clumsy and uncoordinated when he was doing something that could kill him. However, when he was just walking around or living his day to day life he couldn't be constantly thinking about those things or he would never be able to think about anything else.

On the whitewater rafting trip Trevor was walking to the car after having survived being thrown from the raft and swept downstream, and was bit by a snake causing his leg to swell to epic proportions. Anne then decided it would be a good idea to suck the poison out of his leg, but instead tripped as she was walking toward him and bit his leg ripping a piece of flesh out. She was fine, but he had to spend two days in the hospital. On their rock climbing trip Trevor had complained, whined, grunted, and groaned but made it all the way to the top of the mountain, before Anne even. As he was pouring massive quantities of water down his throat practically missing his mouth he had his faced towards the sky, tripped over a stray tree limb, and broke his arm.

To actually get Trevor to bungee jump took more coaxing then the rest of these excursions. He and Anne were strapped together. She decided to make the jump without warning Trevor. Once it was all done and over with Trevor was a little too eager to get out of the harness. The cords then tangled themselves up in his arms and legs; he went rolling down a hill, and fractured his ankle He was on crutches for a month. Anne had tried to get him to go skydiving, but he drew the line at that. There was no way he was going to be throwing himself out of a plane with his sister anywhere in the vicinity. She seemed to bring pain and hospital bills down upon him.
"Just relax. I have a completely different adventure planned for us. It's really not an adventure for me. It's more for you. I'm not even going to be there."

"Go back to work.”

"We have summer Fridays. I don't have to go back to work."

"I hate you."

Anne smiled a knowing smile. She knew that Trevor wouldn’t want to do anything that she had come up with, but she also knew that her brother needed to be pushed into doing things. He wasn’t one to venture out of his comfort zone unless dragged kicking and screaming.
"So we hired a new freelance graphic designer at the agency to work on some campaign. I don't really even know which one. It's not one of mine, but he's really cute and so of course I moved right in for the kill. The problem is that he's not so much interested in me. He's more your type."
Trevor raised his eyebrow at her. Anne had tried to set him up in the past, and according to her his type was male and homosexual. There didn’t seem to be any other qualifiers. If they were a man who liked men then they were for Trevor. On more then one of these dates Trevor had excused himself to use the bathroom and never returned. The last guy that she had set him up with was Eric who she had met in line at the Duane Reade. All that she had known about him was that he shopped at the Duane Reade. When he asked Trevor if he wanted to go back to his place and play Alice in Wonderland Trevor stood up from the table without a word, left the restaurant, and vowed that he was never going to go out with another guy that Anne had set him up with.

Trevor got off of his stool and made his way for the door without acknowledging Anne. She followed him outside, and he lit a cigarette.

"You need to stop smoking."

"You need to stop setting me up on dates.”

"Granted in the past I haven't been that discerning, but this time is different. This guy is fantastic! His name is Matthew. He's smart, funny, sweet, and HOT! I get jealous at the thought that you could have him and I can't."

"How long have you even known him?"

"Three days."

"He could be psychotic. Or straight. Or both."

"I showed him your picture. He thinks that you are cute."

Trevor lit up a second cigarette, took a drag, and blew it into Anne's face. Anne coughed.

"My point exactly."

"If you don't go out with him, I'm just going to send him here."

"Don't you dare! I'm not kidding with you. I'm done with this discussion. Find something else to do other then harassing me."

Trevor turned around and walked back into the store without acknowledging Anne. She folded her arms and walked away. She knew that she was right about Matthew and Trevor. Trevor could find something wrong with anyone that he met. Anne had set him up with some duds, but Trevor also had a penchant for the dramatic. Once upon a time Anne had a good friend from college, Danny, who absolutely adored Trevor. Trevor was head over heels for Danny as well. One day Trevor decided that Danny liked him too much and broke up with him. It was completely out of the blue. Anne loved her brother, but he could be a selfish asshole. A part of him was only happy when he was miserable. There is only so long that that is cute. At twenty-five you can get away with it, but when you are a miserable forty-five year old gay man people just look at you and think bitter. Anne was not going to let Trevor drag her into old age alone and miserable. Yes, she had only known Matthew for three days, but she was sure that he was exactly what Trevor needed to get out of his funk. Anne took out her cell phone and dialed.

Trevor sat at the counter writing in a notebook. The only person who had walked into the store the entire day was Anne and she served to aggravate him far more then the occasional customer. At least the customers would browse through the clothes and random things in the store. With the exception of some footsteps and rustling things would remain blissfully silent, but as soon as Anne steps in the door it is like a tornado has hit. Her mouth never stops moving. Usually she doesn’t have anything of value to say, but that doesn’t stop her from talking. At least once a week Anne would meet someone that she thought was perfect for Trevor. She would then insist that they go out. When she first started to do this Trevor was open to it, but then she introduced him to Danny. Trevor like Danny, but Danny wanted to spend every waking minute together and when they were not together he wanted to be texting and calling. It was all just a little bit too much, but it was the guy who wanted to play Alice in Wonderland that was the last straw. There would be no more dates set up by Anne.

The door bell rang signaling that someone had entered the store. Trevor looked up for a moment and locked eyes with the most ruggedly handsome man that he had seen in his entire life. He was tall with broad shoulders and tossled brown hair that matched the five o'clock shadow that was growing on his face. His jeans fit him perfectly. It wasn't as if they were painted on, but they were tight in all the right places. He was wearing a fitted t-shirt, and when he took of his sunglasses revealing his piercing blue eyes he looked right into Trevor's eyes and smiled. For a moment Trevor smiled back, but then instantly he went back to staring at his notebook.
"Can I ask you a question?" the man asked Trevor, leaning in far closer then was necessary. Trevor could feel his pulse quicken, and wished that this guy would just leave. People that good looking shouldn't be allowed to talk to mere mortals like Trevor.

Trevor looked up and nodded.

"Are you Anne's brother?" he smiled. Trevor really did want to get angry. He wanted to yell and scream and send this gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous man screaming into the streets. But that wasn't going to happen. He was too good looking to send away on. Anne would get a stern talking to later and the severity of his sternness would all depend on how quickly this beautiful man noticed someone far better looking and left Trevor to cry because he would never attain such greatness in a potential boyfriend again.

"Yeah…I'm Trevor." Trevor responded then just stood there, staring at the ground.

"I guess that makes you the freelance graphic designer." Trevor finally said breaking the silence of his own creation.

He smiled again. He wouldn't stop smiling, which turned Trevor into a tub of melted I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Trevor wanted to do nothing more then look at his own feet and occasionally steal a glance or two into his blue eyes. Not because he wanted to engage him in any sort of conversation, but because he had really great eyes. Luckily, Trevor's glances would come off as him being polite and looking at the guy when he spoke when Trevor really had no interest in being polite.

"I'm Matthew. I know that you told Anne that you didn't really want to meet me, but I thought I would come by anyway and see if you wanted to give me a chance on my own merit rather then on what sounds like Anne's very poor track record of setting you up."

This made Trevor smile.

"At least she will acknowledge to others that she has sent me on some very frightening dates."

That was all Trevor had to say. His mind went blank. What could he have in common with this tall hunky man? The word hunk is such a cliché, but that is what Matthew was. Trevor looked down at his didn't quite fit right H&M polo shirt, one size too big Old Navy jeans, and sketchers sneakers that were going to disintegrate at any moment and felt an immediate rush of clothes envy. He wanted to seem as put together as Matthew, but he didn't seem to inherit the flair for fashion and personal grooming that most gay men seemed to be endowed with.
The silence was beginning to grow uncomfortable. He didn't ask Matthew to come here. He told his good for nothing sister to make sure that he didn't, but for whatever reason Matthew felt compelled to come anyway and now he was standing in front of Trevor not speaking and just smiling and making Trevor feel all together uncomfortable. It really was up to Matthew to keep this conversation going. He was the one that wanted it.

"So I was thinking that we could go to dinner tonight….if you aren't busy?"

Matthew said, a hint of sheepishness creeping into his voice. He was good at putting on a confident air, but it didn't matter how many times people told him that he was a catch or that he should have no problem asking a guy out on a date. Every time that he had to do it he felt nervous. Matthew was very aware of what he looked like. Not in a vain or narcisstic way, but things tended to go his way and he knew that part of that was because of the way that he looked. Because of that he felt as if guys were intimidated by him. They saw that he was good looking and assumed that he was an asshole. The ones that did talk to Matthew were less then desirable. Some of them were hot, but most of them wanted nothing but sex. The ones that did want more then sex were usually insane. Matthew realized that if he wanted to find a boyfriend then he was going to have to take matters into his own hands. He didn't know Trevor from a hole in the wall, but he had felt an immediate connection with Anne. She immediately started talking up Trevor to him, and his picture had been adorable so Matthew decided that he wanted to meet him. Trevor wasn't as eager, but Anne seemed to think that Matthew should go anyway. Normally this is where Matthew would have called it day. Who wants to go and meet someone that has specifically told you to stay away? It wasn't as if Trevor was playing some sort of game. They hadn't even met. But something told Matthew to go anyway. didn't know Trevor, and he didn't really know Anne but something was telling him that this was the right thing to do. Or he was a glutton for punishment.

This Is What Comes Out of My Boredom.......

2006-06-24T13:11:00.000-04:00

I am so bored. I can't even describe the depths of my boredom to you my reading public so I'm going to write a story. Actually I've already started to write it, and maybe it sucks. Maybe it is stupid or maybe it is a future bestseller, but at the moment it just me entertaining myself. So here is a little tidbit of it.....

Once upon a time there was a boy named Trevor. Trevor was twenty-five years old, lived in New York City, worked in a thrift shop on Bleeker Street and was trying to find his voice as a writer.

Oh..........and he was gay.

There was another boy. His name was Matthew. Matthew was twenty-seven years old, lived in New York City, and was a wildly successful free lance graphic designer.

Oh.............and he was gay too.

Matthew lived a charmed life. There wasn't anything that didn't come natural to him. Trevor, on the other hand, couldn't walk down the sidewalk without tripping. Trevor's life was a series of calamities and disasters while Matthew followed a path of lucky pennies and fortuitous circumstances.

Matthew told his mother at sixteen years old that he was gay, and refused to allow anything but acceptance. He introduced her to all of his boyfriends. Trevor, on the other hand, had no desire to open up to his family. Occasionally he would bring home a girl and without out right saying it allude to the fact that she was his girlfriend. It was a Superman/Clark Kent situation. When at home he was Clark Kent, and while living his life in NYC he was Superman. But the glasses that he wore to disguise his true identity weren't very effective. Most people questioned how anyone could believe that Trevor had a girlfriend, let alone that he was straight.

On paper Trevor and Matthew are a match made in hell, but sometimes people who should be the worst together are the best. There is a reason that Paula Abdul's song, Opposites Attract, is an enduring hit. It speaks to the truth of matters of the heart. Whether you be a woman and a cartoon cat forever condemned to only be together on the blue screen or two gay men in varying degrees of being out causing confusion and pandemonium you never know what two people are going to be drawn together.

Big Brother: All Stars-Top 20

2006-06-22T10:44:00.000-04:00

Here it is. My breakdown of the Top 20. I'm going to let you get right into it rather then have you read while I wax poetically on the merits of choices made by the producers. My feelings become quite clear.

For the next week, the viewers get to vote for who they want in the house. The viewers decide three men and three women, and the producers pick three men and three women.

There are certain people on this list that I absolutely under no circumstance want to see voted into the house.

1. George(Season 1)- I enjoyed the first season when I was watching it, but I now realize how truly wretched it was. He just doesn't have what it takes to be on All Stars. He didn't even have to play the game when he was on Big Brother. It was a whole different experience.

2. Bunky(Season 2)- Enough with the crying. At the end of his interview he asked if we wanted to see a nice guy win the show. The answer to that question is yes, but I don't want to see someone who is going to let himself be walked all over and used as a puppet while having no other strategy. He was sniveling and annoying, and I don't want to spend another summer with him.

3. Mike "Boogie"(Season 2)- First of all that is a stupid name, and when I watched Big Brother 2 five years ago I thought it was a stupid name and to go with his stupid name is a wretched personality. He actually thinks that he is a better player then the winner of his season Dude you were the 4th evicted. You aren't all that great. Will is a better player, and far more attractive so please stop telling us how good looking you are. Uf anything you have gotten worse looking since your time on Big Brother! I will gag, and hope, and pray that he is the first person evicted from the show if the viewers or the producers are stupid enough to put him on it. Wasn't there someone else from BB2 that wanted to do All Stars. Shannon, Nicole, even Kent would have been better then this moron.

4. Dana(Season 4)- In my opinion Big Brother 4 is tied with Big Brother 1 as the worst season of the series. The only reason that Big Brother 4 is not the worst is because it does involve the game play, and Big Brother 1 foolishly allowed the viewers to vote out all the interesting players. I don't know who did the casting for Big Brother 4, but for the most part they selected uninteresting, stupid, and ugly contestants(Erika is an exception to all three characteristics). One of the worst of the bunch was Dana. Not only did she make the moronic move of betraying the original eight to align with the exes, but she was a troll of a woman who ran around the house chasing Justin into her bed. I hate her voice and I hate her face. I don't want to watch her all summer.

5. Cowboy(Season 5)- I realize that there are people out there who loved him while he was on the show. I was not one of them. He seems like a good natured individual so I'm not going to say anything bad about him other then the fact that he is boring. He has no real skill as a strategic player, and he puts me to sleep. Just let him enjoy being in the Top 20 and leave it at that.

6. Ivette(Season 6)- Too little, too late. I don't care if she dropped "the nerd herd". She is obnoxious. She seems to think that she is better then everyone, and she won't shutup. She thinks that she is so damn funny, but in reality her voice and the words that come out of her mouth are like nails on a chalkboard. I was forced to watch her all the way till the end of BB6 last summer. I was forced to watch her evict Janelle, the person who should have won BB6. Don't force me to watch her for yet another summer.

These two houseguests are people I have no need to see in the house, but I could manage to watch them for the summer if it was neccesary.

1. Alison(Season 4)- Everyone hates her. She would be a good person to put in the house for no other reason then to make her a target, but there are too many people that I want to see in the house to waste a spot on someone that I want to see out in the first week.

2. Diane(Season 5)- Frankly, I don't care about Diane either way. She did some things during her season, such as aligning herself with Drew and Cowboy, that I didn't really like, but nothing about her really inspired deep and abiding hatred. If this group were a little bit different I might have picked her to go into the house, but she is just too blah.

Drum roll please.......

My Top 6(Yes, I know there is going to be a top 12, but these are the six people that I want to actually help get into the house. These are the people that I want to be the final six contestants in the house. So follow the link and vote for them even if you don't watch the show!)

1. Janelle(Season 6)- There is just something about this girl that I love. She certainly has the capacity to be mean, but somehow that was overshadowed by the "Friendship". No one really seemed to think that she was smart, and she turned out to be the most strategic player in her season and one of the most strategic players of the entire series. Both phyiscally and mentally. I would love to see her take this to the end. She should have won Big Brother 6, so let's hope she can bring back that fire during all stars. Plus, I loved me some Kaysar/Janelle alliance action so I'm hoping that we're going to have a repeat of that. But that could be dangerous for my girl because if they are both brought into the house everyone is going to assume that they are aligned which could put a huge target on their backs.

VOTE FOR JANELLE

2. Kaysar(Season 6)- Kaysar, if it comes down to you and another player, who is looking for anyway to get you out of the house, in an HOH competition do not let them win based on the word that they won't nominate you. They will. I don't care if he or she swears on their life. I know you are a better player then that. That was perhaps one of the worst moves in BB history, but I don't think that it should reflect on Kaysar as a player. He is smart, and knows how to read people. Plus he is damn hot and I want to get to look at him for a longer period of time over the course of this summer.

VOTE FOR KAYSAR

3. Marcellas(Season 3)- The man is not the best player, but he is damn funny. I spent the summer of Big Brother 3 laughing at the words that were coming out of his mouth. I'm not sure if some of the more recent houseguests are going to want to have Marcellas around after his stint hosting House Calls which gives him quite the insight into the way that houseguests are playing the game, but if they are smart they will want him around if for no other reason then how entertaining it would be to watch Marcellas and Janelle together.

VOTE FOR MARCELLAS

4. Danielle(Season 3)- There is no doubt that Danielle is a fantastic player. As much as I love my girl Janelle there is a part of me that wouldn't be mad at all if Danielle walked into this game and took the whole thing. I think that Danielle became somewhat villified after her season, but she was honest in those diary room sessions, and what did this honesty bring to me? Laughter. She made no qualms about what she was saying, and more often then not she threw humor into her attacks on the other players. This isn't the real world. We need some snarky comments to keep things interesting.

VOTE FOR DANIELLE

5. Lisa(Season 3)- Lisa herself admitted that she rode coattails to the end and the win, but what is wrong with that? Isn't that a strategy within itself? Yes. Can she do it again? No. She needs to show that she has some game play in her. Frankly, I doubted she was even going to be around very long when she hooked up with Eric, and I didn't even start to like her until Eric was evicted, the best thing that ever happened to her in that game. She did make a fantastic strategic move in voting Amy rather then Eric back into the house. Once she became Lisa, rather then Lisa and Eric, I really did start to root for her. I like her a lot, but for me to root for her again she will need to step up her game play.

VOTE FOR LISA

6. James(Season 6)- HOT! I don't care what anyone says, but that boy is hot. He doesn't even need to bring any shirts with him if he gets into the house. Just walk around shirtless for three months. Physical apperance is not the only reason that I want him in the house. He managed to dominate the game far longer then he should have been able to with no allies and evey member of that house gunning for him. Imagine what he could do if he formed an alliance that lasted? Or if there was someone in the house to hate besides him?

VOTE FOR JAMES

My remaining top 12 are the people from the list that I would like to see in the house, but I'm not going to help them get there.

7. Erika(Season 4)- Erika was the best part of the worst season of Big Brother. She might have been interesting because everyone else was not, but this would be her chance to prove that she can shine among the best and not just amongst the worst.

8. Howie(Season 6)- How can you not love Howie? I can't say that I would have chosen him for my Top 20, but with the contestants that I hav to choose from he definitley makes the cut. AND....I know he won't vote against Janelle or Kaysar so if nothing else he is an ally for them.

9. Monica(Season 2)- She is another house guest that I liked, bu wouldn't have neccesarily chosen to be on All Stars. I think that she is funny, and will bring something interesting to the house, but I can't imagine that she will make it very far.

10. Will(Season 2)- FANTASTIC PLAYER! Everyone hated him, and he still managed to win. Every week there was talk of voting him out, and yet they never did. He is probably the player that deserved to win the most strictly on the merits of game play. People are wise to his tricks, though, so he may have to adapt the way that he plays the game.

11. Nakomis(Season 5)- I don't hate her, and I don't love her, but she was a good player. If I had not had so many people in the potential 20 that I abhored I don't know if Nakomis would have made my listT hat being said I think that if she were to get onto the show she would do well.

12. Jase(Season 5)- I hate Jase less then I hate some of those other people, and that is why he gained a spot in my top 12. No other reason. He isn't a good player. He is a buffon who thinks that he is funnier, smarter, and better looking then he actually is. That being said, I'd rather watch him then Ivette.

Be On The Lookout...

2006-06-22T10:34:00.000-04:00

So if you come to my blog with any frequency, I want to let you know that I'm going to be putting up a post about Big Brother: All Stars at some point today. But this is a post like one I have never done before, so even if you don't have any interest in Big Brother: All Stars you should take a look at it anyway! :)

Apparently....

2006-06-21T17:39:00.000-04:00

The list that I thought was a leaked copy of the 20 former houseguests in the running to be on BB: All Stars was actually the second list leaked to cbs.com, and is thought to be a red herring to throw savvy internet users off the scent because the original list is thought to be the actual list. The word list was used a lot in that sentence.

I'm not going to go through and create a second preliminary top tweleve, but fret not because you will be getting the top tweleve that I actually hope for based on the top 20 candidates that are presented to us by none other then Julie Chen.

Oh how we have missed the Chen!

Tonight is the night!!!

2006-06-21T14:43:00.000-04:00

The 20 Potential Big Brother All Stars are revealed in tonight's casting special.

And then immediately after the voting begins.

That's right. I'm going to be voting.

Janelle and Kaysar had better be among the candidates. That's all I'm saying.

Come back tomorrow for my thoughts, and my potentially updated list of the 12 contestants that should be back for All Stars.

I'm more excited then any person should be for the arrival of Big Brother: All Stars.

Why I Love Coral.......

2006-06-20T14:33:00.000-04:00

I have to admit that I have found the past couple of Real World/Road Rules Challenges a bit lackluster. I kept watching, and they have all had their moments, but there was something missing.

It was the superstars of Real World/Road Rules yesteryear. The seasoned vets who probably thought they needed to either retire or take a break from these challenges. You were wrong! Thankfully, with this latest edition, Fresh Meat we have the return of Tina, Tonya, Shane, Theo...but most importantly we have the return of Coral.

There is no Real World/Road Rules alum that I love more then Coral. She has penned such classic lines as....

"I don't wrestle, I beat bitches up."

"Worry about yourself, and your jump rope."

This morning before going to work I watched last night's edition of the challenge, and basically it seems the focus has moved onto the unraveling relationship of Wes and Johanna of the Real World: Austin. Basically, Wes treats Johanna like shit. She has been taking it. He says that she is the weakest player, and that she has no athletic ability.

Thankfully, Coral and Evan won this week's challenge. Of course they put in Wes and Casey. Why not get rid of these Austin people instead of their friends. I can dig it. The newbies are always the target. Maybe the next challenge they can all gang up on the Key Westers that invariably come onto the challenge. I mean you know John and Svetlana are READY to hit the airwaves again!

Wes then goes into a rampage threatening everyone with his wrath if they put Johanna into the elmination with him. They are not afraid of Wes, and have every intention of putting Johanna in. AS IF they are going to put Tina in. They are all friends with Tina. Wes then explodes at Johanna because she won't campaign against Tina. Normally, I would agree with Wes and think that Johanna should campaign, but in this case she is right. There is nothing that she can say to change these people's minds so she might as well except the inevitable. Wes, however, is a moron and just screams at her and calls her a moron...IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! NOT COOL!

We then cut to Coral talking about Wes:

"If you don't want your girlfriend sent into elimination, then tell the bitch to win something."

Coral breaks it down. Not the most clever line, but delieverd in that Coral fashion it is nothing but classic!

Johanna is sent into elimination, unless she wins the next challenge and can take herself out. Her and Wes aren't speaking. I think they may even be broken up. Now everyone is rooting for Johanna, and she wants to win. Not so much for the winning, but to beat Wes.

Do I think that these two are over for good? Of course not. They are so deliciously dysfunctional that they are going to of course find their way back to each other. If they are both sent into elimination then I hope that Johanna wins because I hate even looking at Wes. Something tells me, though, that Wes will once again emerge victorious.

Grrr....

Your Are Not Better Then Me......

2006-06-20T14:22:00.000-04:00

Do you know what really aggrevates me?

Reading interviews with television stars who say either:

A. They don't watch television

or

B. They don't own a television.

If you are on a hit primetime television show or a daytime soap opera I can understand why you wouldn't have time to watch television. To say that there simply aren't enough hours in the day and so you don't watch television is perfectly acceptable. But that is not what is said. What is said is...."I don't watch television." as if they are too good to watch television. Yes, you do. You do too watch tv. And if you really don't then why are you on it. How are you going to act as if you are above watching television and then work in that genre. You aren't likening yourselves to the fan. I love television, and there are a lot of very well written and intelligent programs on it(there are also programs that are the exact opposite and they too serve their purpose). I'm not any less intelligent because I love television.

Really....you don't own a television? Why not? Who doesn't own a televsion? Fine.... you don't watch TV, but don't you watch movies. Or the Oscars? Or the news???? Do you ever babysite? Your probably making a decent living...buy a tv, even if it is a small one.

Please Don't Stick Your Cigarette In My Face

2006-06-20T14:01:00.000-04:00

Yesteday I went to Nickel Spa For Men, the gayest place on earth, located in the heart of Chelsea. I needed to get my eyebrows and shoulders waxed. I'm not ashamed to admit that I have to get my shoulders waxed. There is hair that does not belong there, and I take care of it. There is no shame in admitting that you have such a thing if you're taking care of it. There should not be hair on parts of my body that I have to crane my neck to see.

But that is not the point.

The point is this. I was standing outside of Nickel smoking a cigarette before I went int, and this man who was walking past me stopped, and moved into my face as if he was going to kiss me. But his intentions were not amorous. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and he wanted to use my lit cigarette to light is. This is unacceptable for multiple reasons.

1. Who are you? I don't know you. Don't stick your face in my face. I don't want to make out with you.

2. Use your words. If you want me to light your cigarette then ask me if I have a lighter or a match or if I can take the cigarette out of my mouth, and use it to light yours.

3. Don't look at me like I'm crazy when I move away from you because I am startled by the fact that you a strange person off of the street clearly stopped dead in your tracks to invade my personal space.

Use your words people. Use your words.

Big Brother 7: All Stars Watch

2006-06-17T16:07:00.000-04:00

I love reality television. Yes, my love for competition based reality show started with Survivor, but there is no reality show that I love more then Big Brother. First of all it is on three times a week. This I love. Once a week is just not enough for me.

Secondly, this show is chock full of strategy. There are so many stages to actually getting someone evicted that I like to be a de facto player, playing along with those in the house. Granted, I can see what can be done more clearly because I am watching, and not actually in the house, but I have no dobut that if I were to be cast on Big Brother I would win. I know this game like the back of my hand, and I will continue to try to get on it until they cease to produce it. The latest edition is an All Star edition. On one hand this is disappointing because I cannot throw my hat into the ring as a potential participant, but on the other hand this is extremely exciting because it allows me to see some of my favorite players pitted against one another.

A casting special of Big Brother is going to air on Wednesday in which the 20 potential houseguests are going to be revealed to the public. From that day until July 5th, the viewers are going to be able to vote on who they want in the house. Honestly, if it were simply left to the viewers there probably wouldn't be all that much conflict in the house so thankfully the producers are allowing the viewers to pick three men and three women, but they are going to choose the remaining six contestants to ensure that past players who may not have been the most liked but who will create the best television will have a spot on the show.

Apparently, CBS may have had a bit of a technical snafu and posted the potential twenty houseguests on their website ever so briefly. This could be a way to throw us off balance and really surprise us when they make the announcement, or it could simply be a mistake thus giving us truly devoted fans an early sneak peek.

Here is the list:

Alison
Amy
Brittany
David
Diane
Drew
Erica
Jack
James
Janelle
Jason
Josh
Kaysar
Maggie
Mike
Monica
Nicole
Roddy
Shannon
Will

(I am going to let you all know which of these tweleve I would like to see on the show, but let me just say that I see some very notable omissions from this list: Danielle, Will Wikle, Marcellas, and Nakomis, which basically means that I hope that a part of this list is right and I hope that a part of it is very wrong).

My Top 12 based on the potential top 20:

1. Janelle-Perhaps my favorite Big Brother contestant in the history of the game. She certainly was the best player of her season, and she could very well have been the best player ever except for the fact that she wasn't able to win. The best players are not neccesarily always the ones to win though.

2. Kaysar-Yet another BB6 contestant who ranks among my favorite BB Houseguests. He was robbed TWICE, but to be fair he shouldn't have trusted Jennifer thus ensuring the demolition of the Soverign Six. I would love to see Kaysar and Janelle team up again, but if they do that it may need to be a secret alliance because they are a formidable team. If they are both in the house they could be an easy pair to target right away.

3. Jason- The boy was too cute. He was in a fantastic alliance in the fantastic 3rd season(which along with 5 and 6 ranks as my top three seasons). He was a part of a final three(with Lisa and Danielle)that I would have been happy with any of the three winning. When they came together in an alliance I couldn't have been happier. Ultimately Lisa won Big Brother 3, but I would love to see what Jason could do without Danielle(based on the rumored top 20)

4. Erica- Simply put I really liked her. She was perhaps one of the only things that I liked in the very disappointing season four of Big Brother. It was a lackluster season with a lackluster cast, and I would like to see Erica get a chance to compete with more savvy and interesting players becuase I think that she does have the potential to be outstanding in this game.

5. Will- I am assuming that this is the Will of Big Brother 2. I would love to have Will from Big Brother 5 on here as well, but it would seem logical to think that they would want to get BB2 Will back because not only was he one of the most popular, if not because people loved to hate him, players but he was also one of if not the most deserving winners based strictly on game play. He managed to make it through almost the entire game with a target on his back. That is something. Plus, he's so damn adorable that I wouldn't mind another summer of shirtless Dr. Will! :)

6. Shannon- To be clear there is nothing that I like about Shannon. She seemed mean and spiteful simply for the sake of being those things. There was no apparent depth to her, but this is television and the girl is unpredictable. She washed the toilet with Hardy's tooth brush and then neglected to inform him. Is that disgusting? Absolutely. Is that good television? Absolutely. Add that to the fact, that when she was on Big Brother 2 she had a "showmance"(I did not coin this term...I think it was Amy and Nick from the Apprentice: Season 1 as a way to define their on screen flirtation)with Will that ended....I imagine it didn't end well. Maybe they will reunite? Or maybe Shannon will turn her unpredictability against Will and get him oustered from the beginning? I don't want Kaysar or Janelle to trust her, but I wouldn't mind if they used her to do a little dirty work and further themselves along in the game. There needs to be at least one or two pawns on every season, and Shannon fits the bill this season.

7. James- I don't know who was responsible for casting Big Brother 6, but they need to be hired back for any subsuquent season of Big Brother because they picked some of the best players in the history of the show. James was a shrewd player, and he made it incredibly far in the game with essentially EVERY one in the house gunning for him. Ultimately, he fell victim to the vendetta of the house guests, but even though the house made him out to be a villian there was SOMETHING about him. He wasn't completely evil. There was a part of you that liked him even though you didn't want to. Plus, if Janelle and James combined their prowess this time they could be unstoppable. That doesn't mean I want Janelle to drop Kaysar, but rather I want Kaysar, Janelle, and James to form an alliance and stick to it this time. Luckily, Howie won't be around to be pressured into nominating him.

8. Nicole- Big Brother 2's memorable runner up seemed to become more and more unhinged as the season progressed, and I want to see that all over again. Here is yet another player that I want around simply as someone for my favorites to get rid of. Plus, what is it going to do to her to be trapped in a house with Will all over again? Could she perhaps pull it together and join forces with Shannon to get rid of him...or maybe they would form a Season 2 alliance pitted against what I hope will be a season 6 alliance of James, Kaysar, and Janelle? Big Brother 2 was certaily not my favorite season, but it introduced to some very memorable houseguests. Nicole was supposed to be the first person voted out the house, but managed to stay and form a solid alliance. Can she do that again? Has she learned from her mistakes???

9. Roddy- Danielle dubbed him the devil, and I went along with it because I was on the Danielle bandwagon so while I didn't neccesarily see Roddy as the devil I did want him out of the show because he wasn't aligned with my people. That being said, the man is charming. Maybe his charms were just in the wrong house? Roddy and Erica might be a perfect fit for an alliance. They were two players who were overshadowed in their own season. Maybe they could emerge as an unstoppable duo in all stars. The All Stars doesn't neccesarily have to be all the best players, perhaps a mix of the best players with some of the players with the best potential. Roddy falls somewhere in between those two extremes, but this could be his chance to show us what he is truly made of as a player.

10. Amy- Another train wreck. All the girl did was drink which was no small part of her eviction from the house. Then they voted her back into the house, and she then drank and drank and drank some more. But there was a spark between her and Roddy that wasn't able to be fully explored because of her allegiance to other players. Maybe this time Roddy could use her to do his own bidding. Something tells me that she hasn't learned enough to be a power player.

11. Josh- Of the guys that are left to choose from there are none that I want to see again. Most of them were boring. At least Josh was a character. Plus he has some history with my choice of other Big Brother 3 contestants. Someone has to be the first to go, and that is as good a reason as any to bring Josh into the house.

12. Alison- This last spot was tough. Originally I wanted to go with Diane, but she just wanted to be interesting more then she actually was. Another part of me wanted to go with Brittany, but she was so sweet in Season 1, and I don't know if I want to expose her to all this deciet and scandal. Alison is another player that I cared nothing for, and something tells me that nobody else did either. But she comes into the game with a built in target which takes the heat off of James, Janelle, and Kaysar. That I like.

Those are my choices. Based on the twenty players that are revealed on Wednesday, I will revise if I have to.

Why?

2006-06-10T15:30:00.000-04:00

I decided to get Subway for lunch today. I left my post at the window and walked over to 42nd and 9th. I ordered my sandwich, and as the subway attendant was putting everything on my sandwich, I turned to see the man, and not a skinny man, next to me getting condiments put on his sandwich.

The subway attendant that was helping him started to put mayo from those squeeze bottles onto the sandwich, and it seemed like he never wanted her to stop. I think that she may have used half that bottle on his sandwich. At this point I could see nothing but mayo and bread.

This is gross. I like mayo, don't get me wrong, but no one needs that much mayo. That is a fact. It's too much. Add that to the fact that he was overweight and clearly not in shape it makes me ask the question why do that to yourself? Cutting out the mayo is a an excellent, and easy, step in making your diet just a little bit healthier. If you really must have mayo, just add a touch for flavor. Don't make the actual contents of the sandwich the condiments for your mayo.

It almost made me lose my appetitie. Almost.

Experiment.....

2006-06-08T11:34:00.000-04:00

So I got one response to the ad I posted on craigslist. It was brief.

Hey,

I hear ya bro. Don't give up.

I'm a writer too... playwright, actually. Maybe we could have coffee
sometime.

Good luck with your search.

Now with what little information that I have I did a little search on the internet to see if I could find out any information about this person. First of all he is far older then anyone that I would ever want to date. I found his website. I find it too mean to post his website on my blog for the sheer purpose of saying how I want nothing to do with the guy. But I don't have a problem with discussing it.

The age thing aside, upon perusing the pictures on his website I came to the very fast realization that I could never be attracted to this person. He could have the most sparkling personality on the face of the planet, and I would not find him physically attractive at all. Is that shallow of me? Maybe a little bit, but if you are going to date someone you need to be physically attracted to them. You may be asking yourself why I don't just meet the guy and become his friend. That is not what this is about. I've got many many many wonderful friends, and I'm always open to making new friends, but I think in this particular case it defeats the purpose of what it is that I'm trying to do.

If by Monday I don't get any more responses I'm going to try this again with a different ad. I'm not sure what that ad will be, but that is a thought for another day.

Pure Power Boot Camp: Day 3

2006-06-08T11:15:00.000-04:00

I realize I keep saying that I'm not going to write about boot camp everyday, and then each day that I go a new post shows up, but it has only been the first three days so there is always something new and exciting to report. I imagine as it all becomes more routine I'm going to have less to say about it.

Today was not easy. Sometimes I don't think that I'm going to make it past the first five minutes, but then we start to focus on different parts of the body and the ones that feel as if they are about to fall off get a slight rest. I was on the obstalce course again today, and I have to say that as far as work outs go this one is incredibly difficult, but at the same time it is incredibly FUN! I was leaving class today and I realized that even though I had endured a great deal of pain over the past hour, I also had a lot of fun. I'm as amazed as anyone at this, because as much as I came to appreciate going to Barry's Boot Camp I never actually enjoyed it. There was never anything but dread when I got up to go there. Yet another reason that I find Pure Power Boot Camp far superior to Barry's Bootcamp. Fun....fans circulating the air...and instructors who push you to go beyond what you think you can do in a constructive manner.

All of that being said....there was another member of the class who was bugging me a bit today. I was just to hoist myself over a very very tall wall. I have to run and jump and grip and then climb up the wall with my feet. It is one of the harder physical exertions I have engaged in, and it reminds of something that they would do on the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Those things are much harder then they look. I have a newfound respect for reality show contestants. This guy kept telling me how to do it and what to do, and I was trying my hardest, and he wasn't an instructor and he kept going on about how he couldn't do it. Truth be told, I think that he was trying to be helpful, but he was being sort of pushy and I think getting aggrevated when I wasn't following his instructions to a tee. I'm not there to be reprimanded by other members of the class. All of that being said, he was talking to me after class and he was a very nice man. I just think he needs to work on his helping people out approach.

Pure Power Boot Camp: Day 2

2006-06-07T19:43:00.000-04:00

Just to be clear I will not be posting a day by day account of my experiences at PPBC because I imagine that some days are going to be no more interesting then me running around or jumping over walls with nothing much of note or importance to discuss.

But there are going to be days that there are things to report. Today is one of those days. The first thing is yet another comment on why I, even after the second day, prefer Pure Power Boot Camp. There actually will be more then one comment now that I think about it. We don't run on the treadmill. I hate the treadmill, and Barry loved to have us on the treadmill. Yes, at PPBC we do do laps around the course, but it's not on a treadmill and it is certainly not for a half an hour period. There is running throughout the entire hour, but it is intermixed with strength training. I much prefer this. There is not a treadmill in sight, and I like that.

Additionally, PPBC is not a room that is so stifling that you feel as if you are going pass out because of the heat in the air. Barry didn't like to turn the fans on or keep the door open. He liked to create a hotbox to further the torture. That is the thing...he liked to torture us. It sometimes seemed to be more about torture then working out, which gave results but not my preferred method of getting results. Others seemed to thrive on it. I did not. At all. Yes, I was in fantastic shape, but sometimes I felt like the bastard stepchild of the class among the very much in shape gay men that Barry fawned over. I might as well have been a girl as far as he was concerned, because the girls didn't get much attention either.

It's a whole new world at PPBC. There is air circulation. We are working hard. I think I'm working harder then when I was at Barry's. But I'm able to push myself further because I'm able to breathe. I'm not sure if the ac is running, or there are fans, or windows open(I looked around, but couldn't quite figure it out-I know that sounds ridiculous but it is true) but there is air moving. Cool air. It helps to invigorate you. Also, I'm digging the fact that there is only one other guy in the class. I don't want a bunch of muscluar, six pack abs, models doing these things with me. I like that I'm in a group of girls who are clearly in shape, but struggle with these exercises like a normal person. There is another guy, but I don't find him all that intimidating the way that I do with just about any guy that I see in a physical fitness setting. Perhaps it's residual anxiety over gym class. The instructors are fantastically motivating, and seem to push people exactly when they need to be pushed. Is the class torture? Of course it is. Am I glad I'm doing it? OF COURSE! I love being pushed beyond what I would push myself to do when working out.

Today's class literally flew by. At the end of the class when it was time to come in and do the group situps that we do, I literally thought that he was kidding. I couldn't believe an hour had passed already. I was AMAZED. My amazement was so profound that I had to say it outloud to which one of the instructors replied with something about time flying when you are having fun. I wouldn't quite go that far. But time does fly when you're not concentrating on the time, but rather on the squats that you are doing while holding a tire over your head. Somehow, the notion of when you are going to be out of the class leaves the mind, and you just want to be finished with the tire. I wonder why.

The Bunker

2006-06-07T13:20:00.000-04:00

I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school from grade 1 through grade 12. Up until about the summer before my senior year of high school I went to church just about every Sunday. I was never really into church, but it catholicism has always been a part of my life, and thus there are a lot of things about it that I do believe in. That's not to say that I'm a practicing Catholic, but if I were pressed to identify a religious affiliation it would be Catholic.

Hell and the devil, integral parts of the Catholic religion, have always scared me...probably a little bit too much. I don't know why such an irrational fear of the devil exists in my head, but it is there. Let's be honest, the devil is not going to come up out of the ground and try to get me. And yet the fear exists. One would think that with such an irrational fear it would send me running to church every sunday and then some, but that is not the case. Short of weddings and funerals I rarely, if ever, go to church. I'm not even an A&P(ashes and palms)Catholic. Yet the fear persists, but at the same time I am FASCINATED and ENTHRALLED with works of fiction that involve the devil, evil, and all things scary. I read an entire Christian Book Series entitled, Left Behind, because it was about the end of the world. I could not get enough of it....there were twelve books in the series. It was a commitment. I love scary movies, and ones that involve the devil and the more plausible the blend of reality and the supernatural is, the more that I love it. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, Angel...the list goes on. Supernatural shows suck me in.

Yet the devil continues to frighten me. As you can imagine I was not thrilled with the prospect of 6/6/06. I realize that it is actuall 6-6-2006, but the three sixes just did not leave me with a warm tingling feeling, and thus the idea of the bunker was born. A twenty-four hour period in which I would not leav the house. Two of my dear friends thought that it was a great idea, and signed up to do it with me. And another came and visited and spent a few hours with us. I love my friends. They indulge my completely irrational fears and notions. They are fantastic.

Of course nothing happened. It was a fun day. We chilled out and didn't do anything. It ended with my roommate bringing home a feast of Kentucy Fried Chicken...that's right...KFC. When it comes down to it, I would have left the house if the need arose. Most of the motivation behind this was to be whimsical and fun, but there was a part of me that liked the idea of not running around on 6/6/06. Completely irrational because if something that big were to happen it probably wouldn't have mattered if I was in my apartment, on the subway, standing in Times Square, or on the top of the Empire State Building.

Mouthwash

2006-06-07T13:15:00.000-04:00

When is the wrong time to use moutwash?

When you are waiting for the subway. I was standing on the subway platform waiting for my train when I turned to witness a man take a swig of what I think was listerine. It could have been another brand, but it was definitley mouthwash.

The train didn't come for another five minutes. I knew this because I kept looking at the clock impatiently willing the train to come. The man kept swishing the mouthwash in his mouth for that entire five minutes. We got on different cars, but I watched him continue to swish the mouthwash around in his mouth as we got on our respective cars.

What is the appeal of this? Is it even good for you? We were at Union Square, what if he was going very far uptown? Was he just going to spit that out onto the floor?

The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me.

Experiment...

2006-06-05T15:22:00.000-04:00

So who wants to go on a little journey with me?

I'm going to post an add on craigslist looking for people to date. Not because I expect to find the love of my life through an online ad, but because I think it will be fun to see where it leads me and have you all follow me through my little online adventure.

Sound good? Ready? Ok...here is the ad that I posted....

Looking for Love In All The Wrong Places:

If you read the title of my post you will see that my quest for love has not yielded many positive results, and I have a feeling that looking for anything other then random sex on craigslist qualifies it as one of those wrong places, but why not. The worst thing that will happen is that no one will respond to my ad, and that will be the end of it.

I'm not very good with the random hookup as much as I have tried. It just doesn't ever seem to go right for me, and I've started to take that as a sign that I'm just not a random sex kind of guy. I like there to be a little something more behind the sex, and I would like to know someone a little bit before I get naked with them. I know it sounds crazy, but it's this new thing that I'm trying.

I'm a twenty-five year old pseudo professional who dreams of being a writer, but still isn't quite sure what to write about. I'm a nightowl who tends to have to get up early so I rarely get enough sleep. I spend a lot of time with my friends and a lot of time with my DVR. I'm cute and funny, but not hot and hysterical.

And.....

I'm not going to put up a picture in this ad. Are you shocked? I want the personality in these words to speak to someone and have that make them want to respond to me. Once that happens then I will send a picture. I'm sure some of you are reading this and think that there is some sort of ulterior motive for me not wanting to send a picture. There isn't. I'm not concieted, but I know I'm cute. I just think that it shouldn't be all about that. If you want to send a picture to me that is fine, but be clothed and don't have it be of anything that I would have to take your clothes off to see.

And that is that. I look forward to any and all responses.

Soooo.....that ad may not sound like it was written by a person who doesn't expect anything from the ad, but I figure I might as well put what I want out there. I don't expect anything other then some funny stories to come out of it, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be open to the possibilty of something else(HA! YEAH RIGHT! :) )

Stay tuned.....

The Things That I Will Do For A Pretty Face...

2006-06-05T15:16:00.000-04:00

Earlier today I was walking down University, and I saw two young guys standing on the corner of 13th and University trying to get people to stop and talk to them about the human rights campagin. There are so many people on the street trying to stop you that you tend to start just blocking them out. Plus, if I'm walking down the street by myself nine times out of ten I have my ipod on. They were engaged with other people when I walked by so they didn't try to stop me.

They were cute boys which means that I was compelled to look back. I wanted them to stop me. I wanted to talk and perhaps flirt with one of the cute boys. So what did I do....I walked right past them on my trip back...and I talked and flirted with one of the cute guys.....and now I am donating ten dollars a month to the HRC...that's right.

I should be giving back in some way, but it serves me right that in all my manipulation...well I really just walked back on the same street.....I'm now a contributer to the HRC.

YAY FOR GAY MARRIAGE! haha. :)