All Places In Between

It is what it is...

2009-11-07T16:20:00.002-05:00

Matt and I were going to spend the day running errands and having fun. Church bazaar, bank, license plates, shopping, movie, dinner...it was going to be wonderful. I seem to love days like that more and more lately. If I'm out and about I don't have to think about how I'm feeling and what's really happening in this broken heart of mine.

I look back over the past three months, and realize that my spending has gotten out of control; my house is out of control; I AM OUT OF CONTROL. I haven't been returning phone calls. I procrastinate more than usual. I don't keep up with my housework. I hardly ever cook. My mind is always looking for something to do whether it's paint my nails a new color, rearrange a room, read a book or play a video game. Everything in me seems to not want to sit still and just be.

Sometimes I find myself surprised at the memories of our pregnancy and miscarriage. I think that I have taken the easy way out, and convinced myself that they never happened at all. I think I have tried to just rewind my mind to the time when we were having trouble getting pregnant. At times I'd much rather be there than here - on the other side where grief is waiting to take over.

A good friend came to stay with us for a couple days this week. She is pregnant with a baby that is due to be born just over a week after Squooshy was due. I tried to mentally prepare myself for her visit. I knew it would be difficult to see her knowing that I would be right around where she is in her pregnancy. She is so easy to talk to about the little things, the big things, the hard things, the fun things...it was really great to be with her! We definitely didn't avoid talking about our babies. We talked a lot about both of our experiences, and were able to cry together and laugh together over all that these pregnancies have brought into our lives. We shopped for her little Nugget, and we found some great maternity clothes for her. I was so proud of myself for keeping my emotions in check, and was definitely sad to see her go yesterday.

Today I woke up to Mother Nature's more-than-clear (thankyouverymuch) sign that I am not pregnant. We left this morning to start our day-of-fun, and started with the license branch. After our short visit there, I told Matt that I needed to run back home to get some "supplies" for my present physical condition. He decided to balance the checkbook while I took care of my business. He quickly came to the conclusion that we should probably just stay home today. Our finances are tight. I've spend three months indulging in retail therapy, and it's quickly catching up with us. It had to happen sooner or later, right? Someday I was actually going to have to face my life instead of run from it.

We have plenty of things here to keep us entertained: video games, board games, books, DVD's, etc. We could even work on the house or take a walk (it's a beautiful day here). I don't want to do any of it. I keep saying that I'm bored, but I think the truth is that I'm feeling depressed today. I've spent a lot of time avoiding myself these past few months, and now I am running out of places to hide.

I'm not sure what to do now that I've admitted this to myself (and to the rest of you). I thought that writing this down would make me feel a little better, but it hasn't. Maybe all we can do is pray...

Almost Paradise...

2009-10-19T08:37:00.002-04:00

Today would have been my Grandpa Chet’s 85^th birthday. He’s been gone for 22 years now, yet sadness still seems to wash over me when I think about him. I was young when he passed, but I remember loving every minute I got to spend with him.

The song “Almost Paradise” from Footloose always reminds me of Grandpa. He once told my mom that it was the only “rock” song he ever liked! As I was listening to music during my long commute this morning, “Almost Paradise” came around on the iPod. I immediately remembered that today was Grandpa’s birthday, and wanted to spend some time remembering him...

I remember spending the night with Grandma Alice and Grandpa Chet. They had a huge bed! My parents only had a double bed, so it was a special treat to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa and get to sleep in the “Super Bed!” I think it was a king bed…it felt like it took up the entire room! I remember what the house smelled like as we got up in the morning and started getting ready. It was the perfect combination of a fresh shower, toothpaste and brewing coffee. Their house was right near a Dunkin Donuts, and I remember Grandpa bringing home blueberry cake donuts for us.
I remember watching game shows like The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune with my Grandparents. I seem to remember Grandpa especially liking Wheel of Fortune…I think he had a thing for Vanna White!
Grandma and Grandpa used to have these chairs at their dining room table that were brown leather, no armrests, and they SPUN! I would love sitting in those chairs, and having Grandpa spin me around and around and around!
I think Grandpa really loved sweets, because he was always spoiling us with cookies and candy! Those Keebler fudge covered cookies always remind me of him.
Grandpa was a car salesman – Oldsmobiles for as long as I could remember, although I’m sure he sold others earlier in his life. I remember visiting his dealership, and getting Chicklets out of the gum machine!
Grandpa ALWAYS had a camera! I remember him with his camcorder and Polaroid. We loved that Polaroid – we couldn’t wait to shake those pictures! He must have loved his family so much to want to capture us all on film all the time.
I remember going shopping with him one day. I think we were at the mall, because I remember the store we were in as a department store. I found a sweater that I really liked, and he bought it for me. I was in 1^st grade when he died, and I kept that sweater until I was at least in 5^th grade. I couldn’t bear to get rid of it. He was such a generous man.
I remember the day that he died. I was home with Dad, and Kelly and Robert (who were 4 and 1) were playing in Robert's playpen. I answered the phone when it rang, and sensed immediately that something was wrong. Mom was on the other end of the line asking for Dad. I remember refusing to let her talk to him until she told me what was wrong. I cried and cried when she finally told me, and I remember feeling upset with Kelly because she didn't seem to notice that I was crying.

We all miss Grandpa. We talk about him often at family gatherings. There is a portrait of him in my Grandma’s house that looks over us all as we celebrate Christmas and birthdays. He has been gone for a long time, and I am sad that so many of my younger cousins never got to be with him. It occurs to me now, though, that Grandpa still lives on with us…through us. My mother has his jubilant spirit and dedicated work ethic. My aunts Gwen and Gayle have his generosity. My uncle Dan has his quick, infectious smile, and my aunts Janice and Janine have his fun-loving attitude. Grandpa may be gone, but he is definitely not forgotten.

Some of my family members read this blog. If you’re here today, please take a minute to share some of your favorite Chet memories! Let’s remember him today…

My apologies...

2009-10-19T06:42:00.000-04:00

I have been gone for quite some time. I apologize for keeping you all waiting. I'm actually fairly certain there aren't many of you left to read what I'm writing now! It's been a rough few months for us. If you haven't heard, you can read all about it here. I am going to try to get this blog going again now. Seems like when things fall apart, my writing is the last piece to be picked up. Hope you all stick around!

Leaving on a jet plane...

2009-07-18T20:18:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow morning I will be leaving for Atlanta for a week-long class at Candler Seminary. I'm a member of PAUMCS - the Professional Association of United Methodist Church Secretaries - and this class is a certification institute. I'm not entirely sure what we will be learning, but MONTHS ago (when I signed up) I was sure I wanted to do it. Granted, I didn't know then that I would be a pregnant, tired, nauseous mess now, but I still want to participate in the class.

I hate to fly. I know the statistics say that I'm safer in the air than I am on the ground, but I still don't like to fly. Gravity and I have an understanding. I am a large woman, and as such, gravity makes sure that I am as close to the ground as possible at all times. Defying this arrangement seems unnatural, thus filling any time I spend on a plane with anxiety. Also - I had a really rough flight on the way to New Orleans earlier this year - one in which I was SURE the plane was going down, and I spent the better part of the flight clinging to my sister in fright and praying incoherently out loud - so flying REALLY doesn't sit well with me right now. Then take into account the fact that I am pregnant, and this has somehow created an anxious beast inside what was already an anxious beast, and well...you get the picture. Tomorrow will be hell.

I hate being away from Matt - especially now that I am having this baby. I will miss him terribly, and will count down the days until Saturday when he pics me up at the airport in Indy. I'm nervous about having to be alert all day every day for 6 days straight. I've been so tired and sick lately, that I've been spending a lot of time in bed. This week will definitely be hard! I'm just hoping to get some good shopping in, learn a lot in class, and make some good friends with my other classmates.

Okay - I have to pack now. We'll see if I get time to blog in ATL. :)

The Swisher Factory...

2009-07-12T00:08:00.000-04:00

The Swisher Factory is open for business!

http://swisherfactory.blogspot.com/

Tonight in Hillsboro...

2009-06-30T23:45:00.003-04:00

Tonight in a tiny town called Hillsboro...

-As I complained about swollen ankles and an empty stomach, she succumbed to the cancer that ravaged her young body.

-As I mindlessly thought ahead to tomorrow night's plans with my mother, sister and grandmother, her children and siblings were struggling to imagine what life would be like tomorrow without her.

-As I watched the clock in anticipation of going home to snuggle in bed with my husband, her husband was kissing the love of his life goodbye.

I'm so sad tonight at the death of one of our church members. Certainly to us it seems as though her life was much too short. Our feeble minds try unsuccessfully to understand the purpose and meaning behind such a cruel death. I am trying to remember that death is really just another part of life. I am not naive enough to think that any one of us is lucky enough, rich enough or strong enough to cheat death, so why is it still so hard to lose the people we love? Perhaps it reminds us of all that we have yet to do and say. It reminds us of wrongs that we have yet to right - or rights we want to right again.

Being in ministry during times like these always seems hard. I watch as Matt walks along side these friends of ours, and see how much it affects him. He may not have the overflow of emotions like I do, but the pain he experiences with these families is plain to see.

We must have faith, though, that God is true to His word; that He works in all things for GOOD. It's not good that this friend is gone, but we KNOW that God will work in this situation for GOOD. He always does - and we know that He will continue to do so. I am thankful tonight that this woman knows the lord, and that tonight she is with him in paradise. For Christians, death is always a sad thing, but we rejoice in the fact that this is NOT THE END. There is something more - something better - waiting for us.

I am mourning for this family tonight friends. My heart breaks for them....

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
-Casting Crowns

Cream Cheese Stuffed French Toast with Powdered Sugar and Strawberries

2009-06-13T15:10:00.003-04:00

Apparently this is a big hit, so I'm putting down the recipe for you all to have and enjoy. Just be forewarned: I don't usually cook from a recipe, so these measurements are approximate. Feel free to put your own spin on it! The name is really misleading, because I technically didn't stuff anything. It's more like a French Toast Sandwich, but whatever...

Here's what you'll need:
8 slices Texas Toast (or another thickly sliced bread)
4 large eggs
2-3 tablespoons of milk (although, I was out of milk, so I used coffee creamer!)
1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 brick cream cheese - room temperature (you can put it in the microwave on defrost for a few minutes to soften it up if you don't want to wait)
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon powdered sugar
1-2 cups cut strawberries - depending on your taste

Crack the eggs into a bowl that is big enough to dip your bread into. Beat the eggs with a wire whisk, add milk and cinnamon, and beat some more. Dip your bread into the egg mixture, making sure to coat both sides of the bread. Lay the bread on a griddle that has been heated over medium-high heat (make sure you spray your pan with cooking spray!). Keep an eye on your bread, and flip the slices as they become golden brown. Burnt toast isn't as good (and it makes your smoke alarm pretty upset too).

In another bowl (or your stand mixer if you have one) mix the cream cheese and sugar together until the mixture comes to a nice, smooth consistency. I love my stand mixer for this, but if you don't have one, just be patient - it will come together before you know it.

Once your toast is done, take two slices and spread the cream cheese mixture between them - like you're making a peanut butter sandwich. I like a lot of the cream cheese on mine, so I used probably around 2 tablespoons for each sandwich. You use what you like. Sprinkle the powdered sugar over the french toast, and top with strawberries.

This would be really good with blueberries, raspberries or cherries too! You don't really need syrup on this, but if you want to add that, it's up to you. Ooooh...it might be yummy to try adding cocoa into the cream cheese mixture, making a chocolate cream cheese french toast....I'll have to try that one next time!

TUESDAY TUNES - "You Are the Woman"

2009-05-19T06:11:00.001-04:00

I know - I missed last Tuesday. I'm sorry. Last week was CRAZY! Here's what our week looked like: Gatlinburg, Lexington/Wilmore, Indianapolis, Veedersburg, Noblesville, Veedersburg, back to Noblesville, back home to Veedersburg. WHEW! Throw in my trip to the emergency room in Noblesville Wednesday night, and you've got yourself a BUSY WEEK! I'm sure this sounds like a bunch of excuses, but get over it. It's my blog, and if I want to miss a week, I can do that. :)

Today's song is really special to me for a lot of reasons. This is a song that I remember hearing a lot when I was growing up. My mom would sing this song to me when I was little, and I remember hearing this album playing often at our house.

A couple years ago I took part in a spritual direction retreat led by my friend Peg in Wilmore. I signed up for the retreat without knowing a lot about it. I showed up not knowing a soul. I was the only woman there who wasn't a student at the seminary, and I felt COMPLETELY out of place.

I'm not sure I can put into words exactly what this retreat was like. I imagine it was different for all of us. At some point during the weekend, we each got a chance to "work" through issues that God wanted to deal with, and we were guided by Peg (and the Holy Spirit of course) through this process in a loving way. It was totally amazing. I know it sounds wild and a little crazy, but just trust me on this one.

I was the last girl to "work" that weekend. I remember sitting through the whole retreat, and wondering what it was that God wanted to work through with me. My marriage? My family? My discipline (or lack therof)? I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something inside of me was stirring - I knew God had an issue He needed to bring to my attention.

I sat down in that circle of women - nervous as anything - and I tried to steer the conversation towards the issue I finally decided I wanted to work on. We talked for some time, and sensing that this was the wrong topic, Peg asked me to close my eyes, and ask Jesus what He wanted to work through. I closed my eyes, and the memory of a familiar photograph flashed in my mind. It was a photograph I had looked at thousands of times before, but I hadn't seen it in years. It was my high school boyfriend's sophomore yearbook picture.

I remember squinting my eyes and shaking my head - almost as if I was trying to push the memory away. Peg (she's just so intuitive) asked what I saw, and when I told her, she knew that we had to found our issue.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here about what happened. He's not a caveman - he knows how to use the internet and he may someday find this little blog of mine. We have a lot of mutual friends still, and I don't want to dredge up old drama. I won't even give his first name, because honestly, you don't really care.

We dated for a little more than 18 months. We fell in love (as much as 15 year olds can), spent all our time together, had lots of fun, and made a LOT of mistakes. He ended the relationship, and I really did not take it well (understatement of the millenium). He ended up dating a really good friend of mine not too long after that, so that threw our group of friends into a tailspin of drama; sides were chosen, people felt victimized, and we all felt like our little world was crashing down on us (or maybe it was just me). We continued a physical relationship - even though we both were dating other people - and I continued to believe in my teenaged brain that we would be together in the end. Young love is so brutal, isn't it? Oy - if only I knew then what I know now. Hindsight is 20/20 though, and I definitely see how God worked in my life to bring me through that muck and mire to the point I am today. I wasn't a Christian at the time, and I only knew Matt as a friend, but God used this situation to bring Matt and I together as best friends, and used Matt to steer me towards the Lord. I am so thankful that God works in every situation for good.

Anyway - back to the retreat. We worked on lingering issues I had from this tumultuous relationship. Issues that seriously affected my sexuality, my self-esteem, my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with God. It was an amazing time for me - so healing and wonderful!

After we had finished, we were praying together as a group. As these women came around me to pray over me, God brought this song to my mind. I remember hearing the lyrics, "You are the woman that I've always dreamed of. I knew it from the start. I saw your face, and that's the last I've seen of my heart." It was almost as if God were singing it to me!

I remember thinking that no one would ever love me as much as that boyfriend once had. Then - years later - I discovered that Matt loved me more. That day, as I heard this song playing in my head, I knew that God loved me even more than Matt could ever dream. He really is the lover of my soul, and although He began wooing me years ago, that day was the day I realized that THIS was the romance of my life. This is like, OUR song...God's and mine. I really think that when I get to heaven, Jesus will be there waiting to dance with me to this one!

With that being said, enjoy "You Are the Woman" by Firefall. This is from their first album, and if you don't own it, you should! This isn't the only good song on the album.

You are the woman that I've always dreamed of
I knew it from the start
I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart

It's not so much the things you say to me
It's not the things you do
It's how I feel each time you're close to me
That keeps me close to you, woh oh

You are the woman that I've always dreamed of
I knew it from the start
I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart

It's not so much your pretty face I see
It's not the clothes you wear
It's more that special way you look at me
That always keeps me there, woh oh

You are the woman that I've always dreamed of
I knew it from the start
I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart

It's hard to tell you all the love I'm feelin'
That's just not my style
You got a way of send my senses reelin'
Every time you smile, woh

You are the woman that I've always dreamed of
I knew it from the start
I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart
(I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heart)
Of my heart, oh, of my heart

What are YOU looking for???

2009-05-17T23:01:00.003-04:00

I read a magazine article tonight listing 10 Things Every Traveler Should Do. At the end of the article, the author posed a question that I found interesting:

"What else are we looking for in travel (and in love and in life) but a tasty mix of the strange and the familiar?"
From "10 Things Every Traveler Should Do" by Pico Iyer in Real Simple magazine, June 2009

Your thoughts??? Comment below...

An open letter to the jerk who stole our solar sidewalk light...

2009-05-11T23:59:00.001-04:00

Dear jerk who stole our solar sidewalk light,

YOU SUCK.

Sincerely,
Katie

TUESDAY TUNES - Discover your own!

2009-05-05T15:28:00.003-04:00

I have been away at a conference for work, and will be leaving tomorrow for vacation with Matt's family. I have hardly had time to listen to myself think lately, let alone listen to music! I hate that I don't have a Tune for you today, but I want you to go out and discover your own Tuesday Tune today!

Have you heard of Pandora? It's a great website - especially if you like to discover new artists. It's so easy: go to Pandora.com, enter the name of an artist you enjoy, and a station will be created just for you according to your tastes! You can tell Pandora if you like a song (thumbs-up) or not (thumbs-down), and Pandora will continue to hone the station for you. I love it! Because of Pandora, I have discovered the Wailin Jennys, Sugarland, Mick McAuley, and lots of others.

Go there. Enjoy some Tunes this fine Tuesday. Hopefully I'll be back with a fabulous road trip song for you. I'll be looking for inspiration as we drive to Gatlinburg and back this week!

Caution Tape

2009-05-02T22:14:00.003-04:00

Friends,

I am so excited to be able to share these following words with you. Ted Lyddon Hatten is the Conference Artist for the Iowa Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. We were blessed to have him speak at our PAUMCS conference this week in Des Moines. I was so moved by these words, that I e-mailed Ted, and asked if he would mind sending me the statement. He was very gracious to share this with me. The first part explains a little about the art he created, and the rest is a beautiful, haunting statement for you to read and meditate on. Enjoy...

The artwork for the PAUMC gathering was created to be part of a larger installation for the 2005 Iowa Annual Conference Session. Our theme that year was Stewards of Creation. In addition to these three images, I incorporated sod and caution tape in various locations throughout venue. The following words served as my artist statement. tlh

They call it caution tape and it is intended to be noticed. Yellow with black letters – Police use it to cordon off a crime scene. Construction workers use it to mark off an area in need of repair. You are supposed to see it, to take note, take caution.

If your eyes are open you will see the caution tape around here and what it surrounds. It is sod; grass. There are seven circles of sod – four in the building and three elsewhere. It is up to you to decide if the sod enclosed by the caution tape is a crime scene or an area in need of repair. If it is a crime scene you’ll want to be careful not to touch it – you wouldn’t want to leave fingerprints. It’s the oil that does you in. The oil. That’s why fingerprints can be left on a wet glass. It’s the oil. And you need a solvent to dissolve oil. Petroleum distilled and refined works well. Wipe down what you touch and not even of trace of you will remain. It is also handy as a fuel for the combustion engine in your car, your SUV, and your RV. With gasoline we can go wherever we want in speed and comfort.

“Sovereign God, when we look upon the heavens, at all of creation, and we see the work of your fingers.”

“Stewards of Creation” is our theme for this year’s Annual Conference.

Adam and Eve were the first stewards of creation and they have taught us well. They did not ask to be made but made they were. Made in God’s image which means they were hungry. They found themselves in a garden that had everything they needed – including limits. Abundance beyond the need to measure. And they were told by their Creator to “till and to keep that garden.” Translated another way – they were told to serve the land – to be servants of the land.

I believe the future of this planet hinges on the order of those words.

And they were also told that if they honor their appetites – honor, elevate, obey their appetites they will have open eyes to see the death they have brought.

But the fruit forbidden was ripe – a delight to their eyes and they were surprised that it hung so low – so easy to reach. And with their emerging vision – just before they sank their teeth in the fruit they saw God’s fingerprints.

Hanging over the chancel for these 3 days is a triangular prism that depicts the four elements around which each of our major worship services is built. Fire, air, water, earth. The Fire is the light that shines within just as the light burns, shines within everything that lives.

Air is the side dominated by a Great Blue Heron. Her eyes are locked in on one of two things; Either danger to her offspring or food. It is possible, I suppose, that she is sizing up the fish in the adjacent panel though they nearly out-weigh her. But I think the former is more likely the truth. She has spotted danger.

In the Water swim three fish. They are either trying in vain to blend in with their surroundings or they too bear the fingerprints of a Creator apparently obsessed with color.

The water looks like the air in the other panels and the plowed ground resembles the ocean floor and the marsh and this is quite intentional. The ecosystems that enable life here are infinitely complex and intimately connected one to another. The chemicals we apply to the land end up in our water. The waste we belch into the air falls down onto the land.

The land, of course is our home and our destination. We know it well – it feeds us, shelters us, holds our roots in place and gives us life. The apple in the center of the Land panel has a pattern that, with your emerging vision, you will find in the Air and Water panels as well.

But it is tempting. Tempting to reverse the order of the words spoken to Adam and Eve by God. To act as if the land is here to serve us. Tempting to honor our appetites. Tempting to continue to repeat the sin that stopped being original a long time ago.

As the juice ran down the chin and neck of Eve and Adam – so too does the crude oil run down our chin and our neck. Our combustion engines take us from place to place with speed and comfort but petroleum, refined and distilled, is also an effective solvent. And with it, we are erasing fingerprints of the Divine.

We are stewards of creation. Each of us is called in many ways – a blend of vocations unique to us – as original as the patterns on the pads of our fingers. But to be a steward of creation – that is a calling that falls equally on us all. No one is ordained or consecrated or set apart for the roll of Steward of Creation. We are all called to this ministry.

But if we are unable or unwilling to answer that call faithfully then the sod and the earth it comes from is indeed a crime scene.

The Heron has spotted the danger to her offspring and her eyes are locked in on us.

Should we find a way to answer that call and become faithful servants of creation -

should we find a way to honor God rather than our appetite

then our already opened eyes will see Divine fingerprints

and Divine presence everywhere we look.

And we will hear the echo of God’s voice;

“It is good.”

Amen.

Ted Lyddon Hatten

Conference Artist

Iowa Annual Conference

2005

Suburbanites...

2009-05-02T15:54:00.002-04:00

Here is the script from a skit we saw this week at PAUMCS. It's a conversation between God and St. Francis of Assisi about suburbanites... enjoy!

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the World is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back On the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the gro wth and saves Them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a Sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the Winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy Something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.............

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

God is a Greenie!

2009-05-02T15:39:00.003-04:00

Sorry I missed Tuesday Tunes this week. I am in Des Moines for a conference, and was flying all day Tuesday. I would have set up a blog to post ahead of time, but the truth is, I've been so busy that I haven't had time to enjoy music lately!!! Ugh...I hate all this go, go, GO and being away from home.

I'm homesick, Matt-sick, kitty-sick, and bored in Iowa. I think I'm going to head out shopping or something here in a bit while we have some free time. For now though, I wanted to put up a quick post about what we're doing at this conference this week.

I am a member of the Professional Association of United Methodist Church Secretaries (PAUMCS), and we're in Des Moines for our annual conference. The theme of our conference this year is "Sowing Seeds of Promise," and we're really trying to focus on "Going Green."

I know that all this "Green" talk is getting a little annoying to some people. It seems like it's the cause-du-jour the past few years. Global warming, greenhouse gases, carbon footprints...ACK! I don't even know where to begin! This week we have had some great experts come in to teach us about what is going on in our environment, what we can do to help fix it, and why we should care.

Matt and I have been making the tiniest of baby steps to become more green at our house. We have been using reusable shopping bags a lot (although I must admit that in the beginning, it was mostly because the ones at Trader Joe's were SO CUTE!). We have purchased our first few compact flourescent light bulbs for the house, and we have been recycling our cans, plastics, and cardboard. We do these things because some part of us feels like it's right to - Matt calls me a "hippie tree-hugger" for it, but he loves me anyway.

This week it has become abundantly clear to me that we should care for our Earth because it's God's creation. Whether global warming is real or not; whether it saves us money or not - we should care for creation because God made it.

If you follow me on Twitter, you were probably bothered by my multiple posts this afternoon with some wisdom I'm taking away from this conference. If you don't follow me, you're still in luck because I'm going to post it here too! Below are some things I wrote down during our sessions in the past fewe days. Forgive me if they aren't verbatim - I was trying to listen and write at the same time...enjoy!

"In Scripture God routinely uses the natural world to accomplish His tasks. Surely He is in active relationship with His creation."

"There will never be peace on Earth until there is peace with Earth."

"Mission is not a project of the church. Mission is the PURPOSE of the church."

"Mission is a lifestyle best learned early and practiced often."

"All day long, God is at work for good in the world."

"If we are in relationship with God, we are forced into relationship with all that God has created."

So let me ask you: how do YOU care for God's creation? What are your practical suggestions for young greenies like me?

TUESDAY TUNES - "What If"

2009-04-21T12:03:00.003-04:00

Last week my brother was telling me about the Thomas Jefferson Bible. The Wikipedia article says this: The Jefferson Bible, or The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth as it is formally titled, was Thomas Jefferson's effort to extract the doctrine of Jesus by removing sections of the New Testament containing supernatural aspects as well as perceived misinterpretations he believed had been added by the Four Evangelists .

I had never heard of this until last week, so I asked my super-smart theologian hubby about it. He hadn't heard of it either, so he decided to do some research on it. Apparently this book is public domain, so he easily found it for free download. You can read Matt's review about the TJB here.

I have heard more than a few people say that Jesus was a great teacher. That his lessons of love and peace are what we should take away from his life. I have to respectfully disagree.

The point of the Thomas Jefferson Bible is that is strips the gospels of content that points to the divinity of Christ. The TJB isn't exactly incorrect - just incomplete. You see, thinking that Jesus was just a good man or just a great moral teacher is like worshiping the Jesus in the Thomas Jefferson Bible - it strips Jesus of his divinity.

Was Jesus a good man? Yes. Was he a great moral teacher? The best! Was he so much more? Absolutely.

Jesus didn't come to wag his finger and tell us to play nice with each other. Jesus didn't come to gather us together for a big group hug. My hubby said last week that, "Jesus didn't come to make us all hippies!" Peace, love, happiness - these are all good things, but let's not patronize Jesus by thinking that's all he came to do. Jesus came to redeem us...to reconcile us to God.

Here is a C.S. Lewis quote from Mere Christianity that I really love. Matt used this in a sermon recently, and it stuck with me.

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept his claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a good moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic-on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg-or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great moral teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

The divinity of Jesus is what makes him special. It's what makes him more than just a great moral teacher. It's what makes him my LORD.

So today (yes, I know it's late...sorry - I've had a busy day!) I want to Tune Nichole Nordeman's song "What If." What if Jesus is more than we ever thought he was? I'm fairly certain He IS more...and then some! Enjoy...

Nichole Nordeman - What If
From the album Brave

What if you’re right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you’re right?
What if it’s true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it’s true?

What if he takes his palace in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

(Chours)
But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

What if you dig, What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions inside
That’s all you find

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Then folklore that must be told and retold

(Chours)

You’ve been running as fast as you can
You’ve been looking for a place you can land so long
But what if you’re wrong?

What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

TUESDAY TUNES - "Save it for a Rainy Day"

2009-04-14T05:30:00.001-04:00

My parents have been fans of The Jayhawks for a few years now, and I know for a fact that I've heard their music time and time again through my folks. I also know that they play The Jayhawks on my favorite radio station, WTTS. For some reason though, I have never really caught on to this band...until tonight.

Mom and Dad were playing The Jayhawks' album Rainy Day Music while we were over for dinner tonight, and I was struck by their music. The songs are just so pleasing and soothing, and GAH with the harmony! The songs that I heard seemed to just flow...does that make sense? Like there wasn't a whole lot of effort or hooplah behind them. It was just music...and it was good.

Tell me: do any of you know/love The Jayhawks too? Have I been living under a rock or something, or is this band new to you too?

I think I'm going to download some more stuff by The Jayhawks when we get home tomorrow. Until then, I'll have to enjoy them on YouTube! Hope you enjoy it too...

Pretty little hairdo don't do what it used to
Can't disguise the living
All the miles that you've been through

Looking like a train wreck
Wearing too much makeup
The burden that you carry
Is more than one soul could ever bear

Don't look so sad, Marina
There's another part to play
Don't look so sad, Marina
Save it for a rainy day
Save it for a rainy day
Save it for a rainy day

You neve make your mind up
Like driving with your eyes shut
Rough around the edges
Won't someone come and take you home

Waiting for a breakthrough
What will you set your mind to?
We stood outside the Chinese restaurant
in the rain

Don't look so sad, Marina
There's another part to play
Don't look so sad, Marina
Save it for a rainy day
Save it for a rainy day
Save it for a rainy day

Why?

2009-04-10T18:00:00.002-04:00

Today is Good Friday. What a solemn, somber day. Today we remember Jesus' crucifixion. We know now that in three days there will be a resurrection that will shake creation to its very core, but today...today we mourn. I think, even as people who live on this side of the resurrection, we don't fully understand just what happened that Friday hundreds of years ago. To think that our Lord would take on our sins as his own and die a criminal's death to redeem us is enough to boggle the mind.

I want you to listen to this song (it's not Tuesday...am I throwing you a curveball, or what?). It's by Nichole Nordeman (one of my favorites), and it's a song written from the perspective of a child watching the crucifixion. I hope these words both haunt and heal you today. Yes, our Lord is hanging on a cross, but he is up there paying our price. In three days he will defeat death, and will rise - and will invite us to rise with him.

It's an exciting time for Christians - this holy week we find ourselves in. I hope you are trying to place yourself in the story this week...

Mental Tourette's?

2009-04-07T07:52:00.002-04:00

I think I have Tourette's Syndrome...but only in my head. That's what I'm calling it anyway. I seem to have developed a knack for thinking of funny things at the most inappropriate times. Sometimes my little daydreams are so real, I actually almost do or say what I'm thinking out loud! It's really going to get me in trouble sometime. Here are a few examples from the last week or two:

1) We were at the Veedersburg Community Palm Sunday worship service Sunday night at the Christian Church. This church's communion traditions dictate that everyone drink the cup together. Some nice words of institution are said, and everyone drinks together. So, there we were, enjoying a serious, quiet communion moment with a hundred of our neighbors, and as we all tipped our cups back to take the juice, I wanted to swallow and shout, "OPAH!" like they do on My Big Fat Greek Wedding! I didn't do it, of course, but just thinking about it gave me a little case of the giggles.

2) Last week when I was in New Orleans with Mom and Kelly, we attended a dinner with Mom's associates on the board of the American Council on Gift Annuities. Five of the board members were retiring, so there was a nice dinner to honor them and their years of service to ACGA. At one point during the dinner, people were invited to stand up and say nice things about the people who were retiring. One man from our table stood up to recognize someone, and began talking a lot about things I wasn't familiar with. This is not a rare occurance with the people my mother works for. I know jack squat about gift planning, annuities, laws pertaining to gift planning, bequests, blah, blah, blah. (Geez, I'm even boring myself just thinking about it!) This stuff is seriously over my head. So anyway, this really pleasant man is saying some really wonderful things about this other guy, but I was LOST because he was talking a lot of shop. The whole room was SILENT as this guy spoke, and being the polite, awesome person I am, I kept my eyes on him, smiling and nodding through his whole speech. Midway through his homage, my mind drifted a little, and I imagined myself just laughing out loud at something he said that I obviously didn't understand. You know - one of those laughs that's about half-fake, and says, "Oh no he di-in't!" I snapped out of my daydream pretty quickly, but I was still pretty tickled with myself. I almost peed a little trying not to laugh in real life.

This is the burden that I carry folks. Anyone else out there with me? Besides Dr. John Dorian of course...

TUESDAY TUNES - "Godspeed"

2009-04-07T04:50:00.000-04:00

It's Tuesday, so that means it's time for another Tuesday Tune! Is anyone out there enjoying these weekly posts besides me? Growing up in the family I did tricked me into thinking people cared a lot more about music than most people do. If you get bored with these Tuesday Tunes, I apologize. I probably won't stop them anytime soon though - no matter how you feel about it. I'm enjoying sharing music with you!

This week's Tune comes to us from the Dixie Chicks album "Home." My in-laws bought me this for my birthday in 2002, and I loved the whole album from first listen. I love the Dixie Chicks. What a perfect combination of country, bluegrass, rock and roll and sassy ladies! I feel like these Chicks bridge the gaps between generations and genres, and I appreciate that about them.

This week's Tune, "Godspeed," always makes me feel a little weepy. I remember hearing it for the first time, and thinking, "I'm going to sing this to my son someday. What a perfect lullaby!" As the years of trying to have a baby have come and gone with no child to show for them, this song has become a little sour to me. Instead of dreaming of singing this to my child someday, I instead started wondering if that child would ever come.

Infertility is often a hopeless journey. You want so desperately to bring life to the world, and often you feel like you're dead inside. I have had quite the roller coaster ride through all of this. Some days I feel so full of hope, I'm sure I'll be pregnant just by wishing it. Other days I feel like all the hope has been washed away, and I will be left a barren, childless woman all the days of my life. It's interesting to me that everyone else's reproductive lives just keep going on as normal. Shouldn't all my friends and family members be experiencing this as well? To see everyone else having babies the way we were built to can be really discouraging.

Last summer a series of events occurred that birthed new hope into my infertility journey. I won't go on and on about them here. Go back in the archives, and you'll see them documented there. Needless to say, God has worked wonderful miracles in my hope life these past few months, and I am now dreaming of holding my children someday.

For your tuning pleasure, here is "Godspeed" by the Dixie Chicks...

I WON! I WON!

2009-04-05T18:02:00.003-04:00

I WON!

I never win anything, but today I am a WINNER! I love reading Amanda's blog, so of course I entered her giveaway for Marlo Schalesky's book "If Tomorrow Never Comes." Schalesky is the author of a book my friend Sarah sent me called "Empty Womb, Aching Heart." Obviously infertility is a subject close to Schalesky's heart. Matt and I continue to struggle through our infertility issues, so I am excited to see what wisdom I might glean from reading these books.

Look for a review as soon as I'm finished reading it, and don't forget to go give Amanda some bloggy love!

Tuesday Tunes - Home

2009-03-31T06:33:00.000-04:00

Laissez Les Bons Temps Roulez!

As you're reading this, I am currently in New Orleans with my mom and sister, hopefully having a great time. Since I'm writing this about a week ahead of time, I can't say for sure. I am sure that I'm missing my hubby and my cats and my own bed though!

For today's edition of Tuesday Tunes, I'm going to introduce you to one of my absolute favorite musicians right now. His name is Marc Broussard, and since he is from Louisiana, I thought it was only too appropriate to bring him to you now.

He's got a killer blues voice, beats that will command uncontrollable car dancing, and a stage presence that had me in a trance. Seriously folks - his live show is one of the best I have EVER SEEN! He's great...and I hope you enjoy him too.

I couldn't embed this video, so please click this link to go to You Tube and watch it yourself. You won't be sorry! This is probably his biggest hit, "Home." If you're not at least tapping your feet by the middle of the song, you should probably check for a pulse.

CLICK ME! You won't be sorry...

HOME - Marc Broussard

Rolling down the road
Going no where
Guitar packed in the trunk
Somewhere round mile marker 112
Papa started hummin the funk
I gotta jones in my bones before we know
We were singing this melody
Stop the car pulled out the guitar
Halfway to New Orleans

Said take me home
Take me home

Could feel the sun about to rise
When I realized we ad nothing to fear
It's just me and my daddy and a kid named Cope
Making music that nobody would hear
And then the sun let up and it split the night

Said take me home
Take me home
Said take me home
Said take me home

This greyhound is delta bound mama
Baby boy done finally found
Said this greyhound is delta bound mama
Said take me home

Hot damn you should have felt the groove
Like I was swimming in a sea of soul
The sun was rising and the day was hot
And we was all about to lose control
My daddy turned his face up towards the sky
And I knew that there was nothing to lose
I felt the crow breathe in and I closed my eyes
And we disappeared into the groove

Said take me home
Said take me home
Take me home
Said take me home

Straight from the water
Straight from the water children
[repeat]
You don't know nothing about this

Take me home
Said take me home
[repeat]

Going Out and Coming In...

2009-03-26T01:12:00.002-04:00

I leave tomorrow afternoon for a 6 day trip to New Orleans with my sister and mom. I am excited to spend some quality girl time with them in such a fun town. I joked earlier with someone that I was going to eat my way through that town like Godzilla...it's probably true! I can't wait to experience all the culinary treats NOLA has to offer me.

Matt is staying behind. He has churches to run you know. He can't go off on frivolous trips like I apparently can! I am going to miss him terribly.

Being away from him (especially when I'm flying) brings up a terrible kind of fear in me. I'm afraid of death - his or mine. I hate the thought of one of us having to mourn the other's passing. I hate the thought of one of us having to learn how to do this life thing on our own. It's horribly sad, and this kind of fear has a tendency to put a damper on my fun trips. I know we are both going to heaven if something happens, but it's still a really hard thing for me to think about.

So - now I'm getting ready to go to bed the night before my super-fun trip, and I'm filled with anxiety. Years ago I went to Florida with my cousins, and Matt stayed behind. My anxiety about that trip was even worse than it is tonight, and Matt and I sat in bed cuddling and reading through some scripture. We found a Psalm that really seemed to speak to us (and calmed me right down...that's probably the most important part!). I'm sharing it here more for my benefit than yours.

Psalm 121
(English Standard Version)

¹I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
² My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.

³He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
⁴Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
⁶ The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
⁸The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

Pray for me while I travel please, and pray for my hubby too. We'll be missing each other!

Blessings to you...
Katie

Tuesday Tunes - Glory

2009-03-24T07:14:00.003-04:00

Hi friends!

Today's Tuesday Tune is "Glory" by Selah, featuring Nichole Nordeman. I must say, I wasn't really a big fan of Selah until recently. They seem to be a little saccharine for my tastes, but maybe my life needs a little sweetness right now. I have been a fan of Nichole Nordeman for many years though, and this song definitely doesn't disappoint. I believe she actually wrote this song for the duets album Selah released in 2006.

A friend's blog steered me towards this blog, which I quickly feel in love with. Angie is a beautiful writer, and she has written much about her walk through the valley as she lost her little girl. Angie always seems to be truthful and honest and real with her audience, and through it all she seems to keep her eye on God. Angie is also the wife of one of the members of Selah, so I think knowing a little about her story and her life has made me want to connect a little bit with this group.

I can't get over this song! I can't get it out of my head. I play it over and over again. I hope you enjoy it as much. What a strong and beautiful message in a time where hope is hard to come by and heaven seems so far away.

One day eyes that are blind will see you clearly
And one day all who deny will finally believe
One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces
And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at your feet
So we wait for that one day come quickly

Chorus
We want to see your Glory
Every knee falls down before thee
Every tongue offers you praise
With every hand raised
Singing Glory
To you and unto you only
We'll sing Glory to Your name

One day voices that lie will all be silent
One day all that's divided will be whole again
One day death will retreat and wave it's white flag
One day love will defeat the strongest enemy
So we wait for that one day come quickly

Chorus

We know not the day or the hour
Or the moments in between
But we know the end of the story
When we'll see

Chorus

Tuesday Tunes - The Losing End

2009-03-17T05:06:00.008-04:00

Happy Tuesday!

This Tuesday Tune is "The Losing End" from Neil Young's Album Everybody Knows this is Nowhere.

I grew up listening to Neil Young, because my parents loved him. For the first 12 years or so of my life, I hated him! I would groan every time they put his albums on, and I always preferred Debbie Gibson over Neil Young - no question. Oh, how silly and dumb we are when we're young...

Sometime during the 8th grade, I started to enjoy Neil Young's music. I'm not sure what happened in my life to change my mind. I like to think that perhaps my taste in music was maturing, much like my taste in boys or my taste in fashion (buh-bye acid wash and shoulder pads!). Whatever the case, I began to really enjoy Neil Young, and my affinity for him has only grown over the years.

The Losing End will never be his most popular song. In fact, outside of my family, I'm not sure many other people even notice it's there! I chose to Tune this song today because it reminds me of home. I always loved the Kermeen "Family Jams" where my parents would play guitar, and we would sing. We love songs that have nice harmonies and this is no exception. A few weeks ago the Kermeens had their first Family Jam in years, and this is one of the songs we did. Mom played and sang, while Kelly and I sang along. It was the best feeling ever to know that years could go by, but we are still able to connect together through music. Harmonizing together and laughing as we mess up the words.

For your Tuning pleasure, I bring to you "The Losing End"...

I went into town to see you yesterday
but you were not home.
So I talked to some old friends for a while
before I wandered off alone.

It's so hard for me now
But I'll make it somehow,
Though I know I'll never be the same.
Won't you ever change your ways,
It's so hard to make love pay
When you're on the losing end,
And I feel that way again.

Well, I miss you more than ever,
since you've gone
I can hardly maintain.
Things are different round here
every night,
my tears fall down like rain.

It's so hard for me now
But I'll make it somehow,
Though I know I'll never be the same.
Won't you ever change your ways,
It's so hard to make love pay
When you're on the losing end,
And I feel that way again.

I am possessed by nail polish demons...

2009-03-12T11:24:00.003-04:00

A few months ago I found e-polish blog - a great blog about nail polish and caring for your nails by a lady named Katee. I subscribed to Katee's blog, and really began to enjoy all the new colors of polish she had been "swatching." Suddenly, I began to subscribe to other nail blogs like Vampy Varnish, All Laquered Up and Scrangie. Now I'm finding that I am OBSESSED with nail polish! I have been painting my nails every three days or so, always trying new colors each time I change. I have been looking for fun new colors everywhere I go, and have a small army of nail colors to try. Here is a picture of the colors I have bought in the last month alone:

I must ask people...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???