It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

The After-Met: Baseball 2009...From the Ridiculous to the Surreal

2009-11-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

Continuing to pick up the pieces...

Just another golden shower for Victorino.

Front-runners and other participants at the Yankers parade expressed and exhibited their smug American-ness in all sorts of different ways (warning: link is suitable for work, or at least it was produced at work, but there is nudity). Scholar-bloggers expressed their disappointment/resignation as to what the latest Yankees business acquisition means for baseball in other ways.

Ridiculous:
To remember that the Mets 2009 Metastrophe even wiped out an entire level of their supposed future: Fmart and J-Niese going down in flames.

Stomach-turning:
The bald eagle.

Surreal:
Pay-Rod feeds the compliant media lines about how he wants to play for free. You know, as long as there is an opportunity to pose shirtless at some point.

Nine months later [after getting caught with steroid drugs], Rodriguez wore a black porkpie hat and swayed to Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind” at City Hall to celebrate a championship. While the parade was special, Rodriguez, like some of the cold and eager fans, was already aching for more baseball.

“I wish we could just continue to play,” Rodriguez said. “Just show up and play for no reason. We have such a good group of guys. You know. No umpires, no scores. Just show up and have fun, like a softball game.”

***

If you're looking for a diversion, Patrick Brown has a nice stock taking essay, "In play--runs," about baseball fandom and the internet. He is probably more accepting of the often shrill climate wrought by the new breed of "fexperts," those who have soured an originally insightful perspective on baseball, and with a certain attitude, are making discussions of baseball increasingly devolve into grating, know-it-all statistical pissing contests smugly performed by recently minted WAR fundamentalists, who don't let the fact that they couldn't pass a freshman statistics class hinder the delivery of jejune message board lectures based more on their uncritical acceptance of a particular statistical package and the performance of "gameday" software then on actually watching the game, but so be it. The new fan/expert has found their hammer and everything is a nail, and even better if they can hide their subjective preferences in a discourse licensed by their perceived membership in a club of people who actually understand what they're doing. Luckily, robot umpires are just as susceptible to having beer dumped on them, but one wonders if anyone will notice when, in the future, the MLB just broadcasts Gameday simulations of games in small markets when player salaries eclipse national GDPs and ticket prices become unattainable to all but the ultra-wealthy--'hey the sim-Pirates beat the virtual Royals last night without sacrifice bunting!" The old guard of crusty, data-averse sportswriter Luddites, who resist the statistics that increasingly replace their stories, have provided a convenient scapegoat in all this. There is no middle ground to be found in mom's basement, and at times, it can get as tiresome as listening to the double-breasted suited jock morons spout inanities and patent falsehoods. But I digress.

Reading Brown's essay, I also have to wonder what happens when we collectively get tired of the "citizen journalists" who write "from the fan perspective" and all the experts are gone--both the charlatans undressed by the "fexperts," and the insightful commentators moved out to pasture by the general failure of the journalist business model--and "we" (fans) are the only ones to listen to about baseball, other than a few jocks? Mom's basement has become an ironic rallying cry among bloggers, but it gets damp down there and I'm not sure if I want the view from the basement to be the only one available. Accepting this norm, the baseball fan equivalent of happily busing our own tables at McDonald's so that the giant corporation doesn't have to pay anyone to do it, may yet turn out to be a wrong turn.

It's hotstove time...do you know where your GM is?

Above, an attendee of the Latin Grammy Awards exhibits strangely fake looking body parts. And, on the right, old Omar Minaya fave Sammy Sosa.

Yankers Finally Overcome the Curse of Piazza, Buy Latest Championship

2009-11-05T13:05:00.001-08:00

New York's other team has finally put nearly a decade of futility behind them and collected the prize that is supposed to come with a $200 billion payroll: the "World" Series. The Mets were content to win the real "world"2009 competition, the competition over which club can send the most of their pricey players to the meaningless World Baseball Classic to become injured/ineffective. Look for them to do the same exact thing again the next chance they get.

It was a shame Michael Jackson, pictured above enjoying someone else's children and some enormous fake breasts, couldn't have lived to see the Yankers 27th champtionship. But seriously folks, I always took Colbert as more of a "bottom" than a "top."

So... it's nice to have that all wrapped up. Still, questions remain:

Could the Yankees have pulled it together without Luis Castillo and his amazin' early season gift win?

Was Pedro a rogue agent (ala Gla*vine) sent by the Mets to destroy the Philmes hopes and dreams?

Will Jimmy Rollins ever shut the fuck up?

How are Derek Jeter's herpes doing? A little flair up the middle?

How much will the Mets sign Hideki Matsui for?

Why is Jorge Posada so ugly? I have to know.

Will Joe Girardi pull over one night, and pull the Mets franchise from a steaming wreck? (I think he learned that scam from Arod).

Aside from watching Fever Pitch on an endless loop, Clockwork Orange-style, is there anything more painful for a Mets fan than listening to Joe Buck announce a Yankees clinching victory over that disgusting Philadelphia team? Buck will spend the weekend picking Mariano Rivera's pubes out of his teeth, but I await the 2010 season to find out the answer to my question.

It's Tool Time Again: Steve Phillips Provides Some Levity as Mets fans Stare into the Abyss; Hundley Name Back in the News

2009-10-21T09:05:00.001-07:00

Above, a gallery of people Steve Phillips has fucked.

Looking for a way to avoid thinking about the World Series that could transform the Mets' 2009 season into arguably the worst in club history? Mr. Steve Phillips, prize tool, reporting for duty.

As Met general manager and member of the ESPN idiocracy, Steve always liked tools in his players; even more so he likes being a tool, and uses his tool outside his marriage with gals who work for him every chance he gets. The only question remaining for historians to sort out was which institution he had done more damage to, the NY Metropolitans or marriage, particularly his own. While Mo Vaughn is undoubtedly still hitting buffets and strip clubs across the nation on the Mets' dime, it looks like the balance has finally shifted in favor of the latter.

The New York Post's fine, Pulitzer-level coverage of this new low, including letters from the mistress, statements from Phillips' son and wife, details how Phillips' affair with 22-year-old production assistant Todd, er, Brooke Hundley went quickly downhill and started to take a toll in terms of the Phillips families' social life, social internet networking, and landscaping. It sounds like Phillips' wife is getting the house and suing for divorce and one can only wish her well. We continue to scratch our heads that such an incompetent and useless bag of human shit could manage to become the GM of a major league baseball team and later, be paid for his commentary on our national past time. Do we really want the Wilpons to choose a new GM/manager?

Metsfans, Try Not to Use the Hot Stove To Burn Your Eyes Out

2009-10-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Gather round the The Mets Hotstove, times are tough!

Watching the Sawx meltdown in the 9th yesterday with their season on the line, although the incompetents at TBS couldn't get the in-screen score graphic right (the score at one point had it 7-7, then scrolled around until it finally rested at the correct score--TBS knows drama), was still educational.

Papelbon blew it right out his ass. Right there in Fenway, in front of plenty of pink-faced partisans. There are quite a few Mets fans that wish the Mets were run more like the Red Sox. I think I could be put in that category. But even the best organizations loose sometimes. Which makes the mountain the Mets have to climb in the next few years/decades seem that much more imposing. Cause they are terrible, Oakland Raiders terrible. Short sentences; the only way back into the Metsblogosphere.

Red Sawx WAR pie

Mets WAR pie

In case you haven't heard, the Mets had a disastrous off-season last year. Since the brass won't admit to doing anything wrong during the injury plagued season, let's all agree that management's first boner of the 2009 season occurred before the first ticket gauged fanny was in the seats at Tax Payer's Park. The franchise's mistakes in something of a rank order, are probably the following:

1. Retaining Omar Minaya as GM
2. Not firing Jerry Manuel
3. Signing Oliver Perez
4. Signing "K-Rod"
5. Trading for J.J. Putz
6. Accepting the status quo in terms of their medical organization

Note that 5 of the 6 are still in full effect. So with that in mind, we poor Mets fans can be forgiven if we hesitate to get excited about this year's hot stove, seeing as the idiots are still running the asylum.

I now wade into the coming debacle that will be known to historians as "Hotstove 2010." To be clear, I am not relying upon pure baseball logic to make my "decisions" about what this sad bunch of clowns should or should not do. In many ways, until regime change comes, we are beyond sound baseball decisions, so to pretend that this sort of logic will enter in to the picture is delusional. So come with me, and adjust your reality in order to weigh the attractiveness of potential Mets' for next season based on your gut, like Willie would. The time to seriously revamp this team was after the last two catastrophes. Now, we are stuck waiting to see which of the commodities under the Mets control can still play after recovery from surgery. In addition, we are stuck with the knowledge, the near certainty that this management team has no idea what they are doing. If I'm going to hold my nose and root for this bunch of losers, well, I am going to make some demands. In the meantime, lets get the hate-train started. I do not want:

Matt Holliday DoNotWant
Is it fair to rate Holliday based on his Metsian blunder in the pivotal game against the Dodgers? No, not really. But postseason exploits SEEM to have an influence on off season contract negotiations (see Beltran, Carlos)--they weigh heavy in check-signers' memories. But I don't want Holiday for reasons that extend beyond his defensive prowess. He is a radical religious nutcase. Sure, everyone points to the sky to give god his rightful glory over a rbi single these days. (Jesus didn't come to judge, Matt, but even he is pissed you couldn't catch a routine flyball.) You can pick a reason to be queasy about signing Holliday to any length of contract: he's old, his stats are an artifact of spending the majority of his career in Coors' mile high environment (the splits seem to support this), the outrageous muscles he packed on raising roid rumors, etc. I just don't like him. I worry about the impact he'd have on the smile of the Mets' gritty franchise player, Jeff Francouer.

Dan Uggla DNW

The Mets want to try to avoid acquiring players that would make a significant contribution to their on-field humiliation. Over time, if the Mets some getting guys that tend to be boneheads (Pagan), suck out loud (Heilman), etc. the theory goes, perhaps their play will improve. Now that's probably not true either, but I hate all ex-Marlins. Pass on this clown.

actual closeup of Uggla's hands

To be continued...

The Sky is Falling

What else could go wrong? SNY may have to pay Keith Hernandez a whole lot more cash to associate himself with these losers. SNY by letting him get away will be making a big mistake, since this would severely erode the only decent programing they can offer.

Mex doesn't need baseball:
"I didn't watch baseball for five years, didn't watch until the Sosa-McGwire thing," he said. "Then I started watching a little bit. Not an All-Star Game, a World Series, nothing. And I did not miss it. And I honestly feel when I retire doing this, whenever that is, I will not watch a baseball game again."

Top Ten Unqualified Sucesses of the Mets' 2009 Season

2009-10-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Mets beloved owner Fred Wilpon ponders his next move.

Are you discouraged by your team's abject, dismal failure on almost every operational front, compounded by the mind-bending decision by the owners to make no management changes going forward? Take a look at the bright side! Here are the top ten Met accomplishments we can be proud of:

10. Mets medical staff continues to protect players from Mud Wrestlers Rash, Mary Hart Epilepsy, and feline diabetes.
9. Mets able to spoil Florida Marlins' shot at club attendance record (a visit from the Mets depressed attendance numbers just enough so Marlins couldn't break 13,000 for the year)
8. Mets planning to add to ridiculous Citi outfield wall design with baseball's first in-park MRI machine housed in unmoving centerfield HR apple
7. Fernando Tatis can now add sun porch to his church in the Dominican Republic.
6. Delta Airlines, in honor of their affiliation with the Mets, now charging for each working hamstring as well as first and second checked bags
5. Pat Misch gets enough starts to cement his status as 2010 Mets #2 starter
4. Cody Ross sidelined by a wrist injury courtesy of a pitch from Mets' John Maine (along with Ross' habit of "rodeo-style" masturbation)
3. Fred Wilpon's team wins the NL West for the second year in a row
2. Due to drop in SNY viewership, visits to Jeter's Ford Challenge.com drop precipitously
1. Josh Thole is still alive and walking without help.

Mets Stand Pat on the Mound, Help Fish to Misch the Playoffs

2009-09-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

Ground Guppy stadium was rocking, as usual, for the Mets visit

It's been a while folks, but since Florida Marlins fan(s) make up the most vocal part of my fanbase, I think I owe it to you to comment on Misch's majestic Marlin mangle. I have done my research on this Marlins franchise, and conclude that the humiliation of losing to the Mets couldn't have happened to a more deserving team or its deluded fans, some of whom think Misty May Treanor is attractive. For once, it's the Teal Terrors playing semi-meaningful baseball in September and getting their hopes well, not entirely spoiled, but at least a bit soured.

Cody Ross sprints away from the "support same-sex marriage" day festivities so he can ready himself for his float in the pending parade.

After enduring another one of John Maine's increasingly depressing outings, it's nice to take in a showcase outing of the jewel of the NY Mets pitching corps and future #2 starter, Pat Misch.

I doubt that the shell-shocked impostor-scrubs that strap on the blue and orange gear these days have any notion of what the Fish have done to the Mets (or at least enabled the Mets and douches like Tom Gl*vine to do to themselves) in the recent past, but it's worth noting that in a season like this, the Mets taking 2 of 3 from a team that fancies itself a 2009 playoff possibility has to count as a season high-point.

But this key series isn't all the Mets have taken from the Fish. Now that the Mets have taken over the responsibilities of National League East laughingstock, the Marlins are without an identity. Yes, Jeffrey Loria's revenue-sharing hoarding venture is going to have to find a new sense of purpose.

The Marlins proudly offer many ballpark amenities: sunstroke, peanuts, and daytime prostitutes.

Cascading Systemic Failure Means the Mets Must Rebuild Shea

2009-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

These guys got out of there just in time.

Ah, the runes foretold that Pedro Martinez would sign with the Phillies and beat the MEts handily in a late season game. And now it is done, in what must be the final humiliation of the 2009 season. The prophets just didn't know it would come in a meaningless game because even seers didn't realize how incompetent Omar Minaya is, or how badly the Mets would feel the curse of Shea. (And even holy men have no answer to the question, why did Daniel Murphy try with 2 outs in a one run game to take third tonight?)

Pedro handled the Mets' pathetic offense like one tosses a midget in celebrations. Which reminds me...

Even the curse of Pedro's midget was no match for the powerful hex of Shea stadium when Pedro took on the Shmets.

The Mets have fumbled and bumbled at every single point this season. The incompetence doesn't just extend from foul pole to foul pole. They fucked up the transition from Shea to their new home: Citifield really is shitty field (from the Post courtesy of CSTB). It's so bad, that apparently even Hitler can't take it anymore.

By the way, Newsday's tour of Mex's house is possibly the only good thing that happened to Metsfans this year and I direct you there.

There is nothing much to do from here on in, except ponder several questions, and wonder if there's anyway our luck could turn around in the next 2-3 years.

Are things going to get worse thanks to this guy? The Mets already mismanage the resources they have, what if they suddenly had fewer of these resources? Will the checkbook slam shut? Or could it force the franchise to become more efficient? Firing people (GMs and managers) costs money, so there's one clue as to whether this could be a blessing in disguise. More likely a curse in disguise.

Is there anything that can dislodge this useless bastard from the front office? The nepotism in the Mets bureaucracy may not be part of the problem, but things are so fucked up, who can tell? Even if his son isn't to blame, to be on the safe side, Wilpon Sr. (if he keeps the team) needs to hire somebody who knows a blessed thing about baseball. The piss poor decisions that have characterized the team's management on Jeffy Jrs' watch cannot continue. And if I remember correctly, and Jr. was in charge of the building of Citi, one has to wonder about the poor sight lines, ridiculous offense killing dimensions, and apparently rampant building flaws (linked above).

What if David Wright (pictured with his New Helmet bobble head) is in decline? Or what if he gets plunked again? Wright's season-long power outage and recent flailing (Saturday's game aside) seem way down on the worry list, but they're still there. There are serious doubts about Reyes, worries about Beltran, and who knows how Johan will recover from surgery. Wither Wright?

That is all.

Troubling Things Mets' Authorities are Saying about Santana Injury

2009-08-25T22:51:00.000-07:00

The Mets got relatively good news on Santana. But good news has a way of going bad around here, so I don't know what to make of promises he'll return for 2010.

Ted Berg relates this nugget, via Sherman:

Joel Sherman of the NY Post asked Minaya why he continued to let Santana start if he’s been hurting since the All-Star Break and skipping his side sessions.

Minaya responded that that’s why they’re shutting him down now. “Up until his last start, it was something that he was able to pitch with. After his last start, he said this to us, and we are, as you say, wisely shutting him down.”

From the Mlb.com report (I've highlighted the parts that make me go batshit):

"He never really complained until that last game," Mets manager Jerry Manuel said. "It was manageable, and he managed it very well until he mentioned it. And then he said, 'Well, let's make sure, let's take a look.'"

The Mets, however, admitted Tuesday that they had known about the bone chips in Santana's elbow as far back as the All-Star break, when Santana underwent a similar examination. Because Santana felt no pain at that time, and because the chips were not in a "dangerous area," the team opted to let Santana pitch -- despite the fact that both his velocity and control were suffering.

Even Manuel said he was unaware of the scope of the situation until Santana began complaining after his most recent start.

"It really didn't bother him," pitching coach Dan Warthen said. "He was able to pitch a couple of different times. The last few, you could see the velocity going down and you're starting to concern yourself. Johan never ever says anything about his own physical pain, but he finally came clean and said, 'This thing is kind of bugging me.'"

The pain, Warthen said, was unrelated to the elbow discomfort Santana felt in Spring Training, when the Mets scheduled an MRI but never followed through with it. When asked about the relation between that issue -- which threatened Santana's Opening Day start -- and the left-hander's current woes, Minaya said he could not recall Santana's Spring Training health problems. Minaya also did not know what Santana's All-Star break examination had revealed.

WTFX2!

Remember, Omar Minaya had his contract re-upped by the Wontpons in the middle of a collapse last year. The Mets themselves are not being contracted. He is not desperate to protect his GM job (as he should be). Somebody explain to me why he'd risk Johan Santana's health in the beginning of the ace's contract??!!??

Who are these idiots? You couldn't better destroy a team with bad decisions if you tried. There really is no imaginable reason why Omar Minaya should continue to run this franchise.

Fred Wilpon Needs Season Ending Karma Surgery, Shake Shack Hit By Ebola Virus, Mr. Met Undergoes Neck Transplant

2009-08-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Those are the rest of the headlines I expect to see this season.

What's next? we asked.

We watched Jose limp off the field. We noticed Carlos Delgado succumb to old age. We saw Luis drop the Pay-Rod fly ball. We said good bye to Carlos Beltran. We cringed when Luis slipped down the stairs. We watched David Wright get brained. We knew it was over when and just about every single position player was injured.

Sure, we thought, take all those guys. Take the whole 2009 season, even if you have to threaten 2010 too. Just leave us Johan Santana, the best pitcher in baseball and one of the best in Mets'
history. Just let us watch him once a week and we'll probably show up next year too.

Possible future Mets addition to the rotation. Still better than Livan.

We asked for too much. The baseball gods have now taken their final victim, and the Wilpon's will now feel the full curse of Shea and the 40% ticket price hike they thought they'd get away with.

Sitting in my armchair, it recently occurred to me (as I watched Johan Santana turn in labored and un-Santana like appearance after appearance) that perhaps something was wrong health-wise with our ace. This apparently never occurred to the Mets or their training staff or their GM, who was busy rooting out lobbyists in the media and other guys he actually hired. Because they never intervened, or seem to have questioned a guy who pitched injured in his final start last year and therefore is a guy who is likely to try to gut it out. So now we have no ace, and can only hope and pray for the best. Crossing our fingers hasn't done much this season, but what choice do we have?

What Would You Write About This Team?

2009-08-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

This is the longest I've gone without posting, perhaps since I started this blog in 2005. The problem: I can only bear to watch a few innings at a time, which doesn't allow me to come up with good lines about Corey Sullivan. It's harder to joke when the team is a complete joke.

Think you can do better?

Send me (itsmetsforme@gmail.com) your best NY Mets related post (2-3 paragraphs, anything remotely related to the Mets, pictures OK) and you may see your name up in lights. Or down in darkness. I will wait a certain period of time and then pick the most amusing, edifying, terrifying post I get. Did I mention, the winner gets to see their post in this space? Hell, if it's really good, I might give you this blog!

Sounds too good to be true, huh. The catch? There is only one rule. Entrants must write about the Mets but cannot use the following words: loser, moronic, lethargic, suck, lazy, incompetent, doomed, bozos, bonehead, failure, FAIL, catastrophe, fired, idiot, hapless, listless, shitstick, WTF, or Swoboda.

Good Luck!

Mets Can't Lose

2009-08-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

Because they have the day off!

In the meantime let's do anything but discuss this horrible team. Let's watch this instead, over and over until we're happy again.

taken from sportslush.

Shawn Green Boldly Claims the Mantle of Aaron Heilman

2009-08-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

After participating in the spirit building hair-related Met team gesture of 2009, David Wright-of-the-future goes out on the town to celebrate the Mets getting to .500

When one says that something "sucks," there is a connotation that goes beyond the flat truth claim that something or someone is inferior or not very good at what they do. Allow me to demonstrate with an example: Shawn Green sucks. When I say this, what I mean goes beyond saying that the hapless Green is untalented at baseball. What I am gesturing at is the transcendent, sometimes unbelievable failures he now delivers on a regular basis. He has gone beyond just another shitty performer to being a symbol. Another way to put it is this: when Green reports for duty as a relief pitcher, you can be certain that you are about to make a memory.

The St. Louis Cardinals left Flushing with the same parting gift they always get from the unoriginal Mets franchise: a gimme win. Just like 2006. Just like always.

There will be no rest for this Mets fan until Pujols and Molina are revealed to be performance enhancing drug users. This will happen at some point, for sure, and though it will be little comfort, know that I will be smirking when it does.

Scholars will argue this for decades, but last night's game must be added to the list of 2009 low points. Let us review the ignoble details of the latest Mets face plant.

Ace disgraced. Mets ace Johan pitches sucky more often than I had planned. He is most certainly pitching through injury; to think otherwise is to think the unthinkable.
That first step is a doosie. Castillo, the only Met who can possibly be said to be exceeding expectations, falls down the dugout steps, out indefinitely. Why are there steps in ballparks anyway? Ramps (or gently graded slopes) would seem to be a smarter idea with the fragility of ball players these days.
Superstar "Closer" is just what the Mets needed this winter. Frankie turned out to be a pointless addition. That is all.
Heilman Haunts Mets Supposed Not-Heilman Shawn Green comes into a bases loaded situation, and in lieu of a wild pitch, throws his first pitch into the batter, losing the game. To be sure, he also tosses the expected grand slam meatball to Pujols in the next at-bat. Green seems to be channeling the 2007 and 2008 bullpen. He wore out his welcome a long time ago for me, and now I'd like him gone, or where ever the Mets send the O'Days, Takahashis, etc.
Redbird rage The opponent is the hated smirking Cardinals who stole the 2006 NLCS and then dishonored the National league by their performance in the World Series. I'm not saying Pujols and Molina inject each other in the clubhouse, but I am saying that Molina is a post-op transgendered hermaphrodite.

This season is over folks, if it wasn't already. If there are parts of your eyes you still want to claw out, try clicking here. Next week, I'll start my series on fun replacement activities, hobbies, and family trips you can substitute for following the Metropolitan baseball club.

Sterling Sackings (or Mets to Fire) Pt I: the Marketing/Design Dept.

2009-08-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

The new atrocities trotted out last week by the Mets and MLB marketing are a symptom of a bigger problem. Anyone else starting to see a unifying theme here?

Visit here to see best discussion of Citifield follies and view this and other pictures.

The Mets have a serious, widespread, systemic design problem. From top to bottom, the architecture of the franchise seems to have been designed by of a room full of shitfaced kindergartners. That's all I'm saying.

Pagan is an Angel for Metsfans

2009-08-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

Another ritual that looks like fun

After Bobby Parnell helped the D-Bags parlay Mets pitching ineptitude into a tie game, things did not look good for the Mets, who are usually exhausted just trying to survive an Oliver Perez start much less beat the other team. Then, before you could say "Cody Ross is an ignorant, baby-headed rodeo clown," Angel Pagan flipped a pitched baseball casually into the crowd for a grand slam in the 8th inning. And the best scrubs that $140 million can buy somehow won again.

To say that Oliver Perez is a terrible, no-good pitcher is adding nothing new. But it's like marveling at a sunset or cooing at a baby; if you're human, you can't help it.

"I think I made important outs," says Ollie. Again with this shit. Come up with some new lines, Borra$, and feed them to your dipshit client, who will one day get run out of Citi in the manner that Victor Zambrano once let himself out of Shea. Perhaps you can find some in that book you wrote.

***
It seems that, despite expectations to the contrary, Adam Rubin is unbowed, still calling his blog "Surfing" the Mets. Imagine the gall of this guy. Why not "You've Got Mets" in the true AOL fashion Adam? The only lingering effects of the Bernazard (whose new asshole can safely continue to be ripped by the Daily News without interruption) controversy is that Billy "Goat" Wagner won't get to spend quality time with Tony the Tiger now. That, I'd like to see.

***
Perhaps Jeff Francoeur is really fitting in among the Flushing fellas. I wouldn't deny a guy his reputation for making lots of new best friends. But the media is perhaps straining itself a bit to make the French connection. For instance, the Daily News in an article about the renewed spirit Frenchy has brought to the clubhouse atmosphere, sees this as "the best sign of how light the atmosphere has become":

Before Friday's game, Mike Pelfrey and about a dozen teammates tried flying one of the helicopters in winds so strong that ripples were being sent across the infield tarp. The chopper barely got off the ground before crashing and breaking, much to the chagrin of Pelfrey, who kept trying to fix the toy back inside.

Fed up with Pelfrey's obsessive tinkering, David Wright and J.J. Putz walked over to his locker and stomped on the chopper, all smiles and offering to buy him a new one

Speechless, Pelfrey could only watch as Putz then picked up the busted chopper and flipped it to Wright, who smashed it with a bat. The clubhouse erupted into laughter, which got even louder when Pelfrey finally gathered himself and said, "I just ordered a part to fix it."

This seems less like levity and more like petty cruelty. Further, I fail to make the connection with Francoeur is said to have brought the team when he was traded from the incest capital of the world to New York. Bashing a child's toy with a bat may be big fun in Atlanta, so that could be the connection, but otherwise I don't see it.

It Ain't Easy Watching Green

2009-08-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

Sean Green was determined. He came in for the 8th and promptly loaded the bases. A miracle double play at the hands of Daniel Murphy gave fans hope that the Mets could preserve the tie and have a chance to win the game. Undaunted, Green took a deep breath and wild pitched the winning Diamond Back run in. Because sucking isn't just Sean Green's hobby; it's his vocation.

Green's partner in failure, Angel Pagan ritually hit nothing, going 0 for 5, and GIDP to end the game after Sullivan's pop up was Castilloed by the D-bags thirdbaseman. Sure many players contributed awful at-bats, but this game was winnable until Green made it his own. As a result, the Mets couldn't beat the equally dreadful Diamondbacks in a game that made the win streak officially a memory.

***
Here we can note that the team Sports Illustrated picked for the World Series championship is now growing beards until they climb back to .500. Omar Minaya quieted the storm of criticism on Friday by doing nothing whatsoever. Unless you count selecting shots of his pal Tony for his screensaver. Jose Reyes setbacked and I really can't imagine him coming back this season. The dream now would be that, after welcoming back a hobbled Beltran, a rusty Delgado, Countrytime, and Putz at some point in August, the Mets can somehow catapult an uninspiring crowd ahead of them for the wildcard. This next stretch of games is officially the no-man's land where either a miracle happens and unrealistic dreams come true, or the team is finally buried for good. It's a minor miracle that we're even still interested, but we're stuck with this goddamn motto:"You gotta believe," not "In August when the Mets are really out of it, you gotta spend more time with the kids," or "You Gotta Cut and Run."

Top 10 Additional Distractions Omar Could Provide Metsfans

2009-07-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

Ah, symbolism. Picture stolen from AP and here.

Despite his recent comments, the last thing Omar Minaya should apologize for is "distracting" us from this season. Here are some other suggested actions the Mets GM could take to lift the mood of the fanbase:

10. Lower Citifield ticket prices 20-40%, just like a sale at Macy's, only the product is not useful or desirable
9 . Fire himself at 2 AM on next Western road trip (Arizona will do)
8. Give the first 10,000 fans a complementary Angel Berroa
7. Two words: More pressers!
6. No more call-ups with negative, sad, downer names, like Cancel, Dessens, or Takahashi.
5. Add Branch Rickey Terrace and Pee Wee Reese Pavilion to Citi's Robinson Rotunda for remaining unsatisfied Brooklyn Dodger fans
4. Call up at least two more catchers; fans love backstops!
3. Make trade for Derek Jeter
2. Transform Citifield's kiddie wiffleball court into America's first ballpark strip club
1. Ralph Kiner-Steve Phillips steel-cage death match. Weapons: Kiner gets a chainsaw and bag of urine, and Phillips a lawn chair and chicken feathers

Mets Human Resources Dept. to Launch Investigation into Mets Winning

2009-07-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

If you thought the Mets play was ugly, wait til you see the clothes they designed!

We won't know the results of this investigation for a while, or hear Omar Minaya deliver them to the public, or hear Omar and upper management apologize for this delivery, but the investigation is being investigated.

Winning doesn't cure everything, folks.

A lot of people, the SNY booth included, have attempted to resolve the weeks' catastrophe by making the statement that "winning cures everything," as though a lot of this behind closed doors bullshit would only be a minor distraction if only the club were winning. Well, winning doesn't always cure anything. Take right now for instance. The Mets have won 4 games in a row vs. ostensibly better teams, and yet they are still more than 10 games out of first in the NL East and 5 games out of the so-called "wildcard." No amount of short term success could disabuse Mets fans of the sickening notion that the team they love is a hopeless joke, run by tone deaf morons, and trapped in a system of deleterious nepotism that leaves all paths to progress barred indefinitely.

Rather than work the trade deadline or try to figure out why his entire team happens to be injured, or just release a blanket apology for all his lack of a plan has done to this team, Minaya decided to spend the week living down his pointless, rambling discourse on a franchise cancer who probably should have been 86'd a long time ago and a beat reporter for the team, who decided, access be damned, to write a story that embarrassed the management of the club he apparently once considered joining. Winning doesn't cure that.

Mets COO (Clueless On Organization?) Jeff Wilpon needs to get the hell out of the decision making chain. If and when Omar finally falls on his illiterate sword, Jeffy needs to get dad to hire a strong, articulate man or woman to run this team based on strategic planning and competent scouting. Jeff himself can dedicate his time to figuring out why the field he is responsible for does everything but shoot heat seeking apples out of a top hat canon to prevent face-of-the-franchise David Wright from hitting homeruns.

Perhaps it isn't Jeff Wilpon we should blame, but the insidious, all powerful "human resources" department that Omar mentioned repeatedly the other day. Who is this shadow organization and are they the one's actually running things for Sterling Inc? Was Omar just trying to signal the outside world to send help? This team's executives could be at the mercy of HR, and we'll never know.

The team's injured players? Don't worry about them--they still have time to design hideous clothing for that treasured demographic of people who have no taste and still care about the Mets--but don't count on seeing most of them in 2010 either. Carlos Beltran's bone bruise is somehow no better--yet he is pushing to get back on the field (yay!). Maine is going for another opinion. And I don't know why anyone talks about JJ Putz, designer of the patriotic duck hunting jersey shown above, in the context of the Mets.

Meanwhile, the scrubs playing for the Mets now are having a nice run of luck, getting the breaks and bounces, and giving us something to do while we wait for 2010.

Berna-Bizarre! Top 10 Unreported Tony Bernazard Attacks

2009-07-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Fully clothed former Mets VP of Player Development minutes before an attack.

Everyone knows that in his time with the Mets, Tony Bernazard brought a much needed macho lunatic perspective to his job as guardian of the club's mostly barren farm system and special consultant on hiring, firing and office party planning for Sterling Inc. But what is less widely known are the many instances in his private life when he has challenged the world to do better. Here then, are some of the most notable Bernazard belligerencies:

10. Accompanied by his son, Bernazard attacked Mets third base coach Razor Shines during a spring training game when he interpreted Shines' windmill motion as an offensive hand sign.
9. Challenged then NY Senatorial candidate Hillary Clinton to "bake off."
8. Naked, save for strategically placed pasties, Bernazard out-danced entire cast of Sha-na-na... when he was only 12!
7. Performed "razor blade" dance of death ritual with Hugo Chavez.
6. Kicked Girl Scout Troop 14 table over when informed of Thin Mints sell out.
5. Challenged Lenny Dykstra to pie eating contest for sitting in his booth at Countytown Buffet
4. Lashed out at local Long Island business media when they covered the failure of "Los Loaves" his Latin-themed bakery start-up.
3. Dismembered pet Yorkshire Terrier who wouldn't "take him seriously"
2. Screaming "what don't you f**in understand" at "f*cking amateurs" for distracting him during takes on the set of Terminator 5.
1. Removed pants and wrestled bear to a near standstill on picnic date with Jeffrey Wilpon.

Break Up the Mets!!

2009-07-27T00:00:00.001-07:00

22 runs. Young pitcher successfully appearing. El Otro Duque, all full of craft and guile. Safety squeezes and triples, oh my. Johan Santana not carted off with a detached arm. Wow, what a series. It doesn't get better than this, and what's more, it can't get any better than this.

Livan in full wind-up.

Yeah!

If you got to Minute Maid, two words: club level. The food service in the rest of the park is confused and inefficient, but club level is a little better. Club level seats are padded and roomier, and there is waiter service. Pictured: beef nachos with everything.

Sad Astro mascot-varmint.

Being a fan of a team losing to the Mets is lonely.

Special "Stub Hub" seats for fans that win a contest. They take 10% of your popcorn before you eat it and 10% after you finish.

Michael Borne after David Wright fufills my wish of seeing a ball hit up onto that silly hill.

They opened the roof right after the Sunday game for the sake of the grass. The guys tending to the grounds can't appreciate this--it was 95-105 degrees if it was 20.

***
In the How Bad Is It? file:

Rickey Henderson temporarily escaped his legendary solipsism on the biggest day of his life to comment on Jose Reyes' problems.

Niese and Easy

2009-07-25T23:20:00.000-07:00

More pix from my Amazin' trip to Houston.

A-ha! There's a mention of Enron!

If you sit behind 1st baseline, expect to be blinded by the setting sun for a half an inning.

The man.

For sale.

Who doesn't love this little guy? Going on another patented "Omir Tear."

Texas folks can't resist poking fun at the ferner.
Kaz plays along but his longtime fans know he dies a little bit inside each time they ask to film another gag.

Ha.

Astros mascot caught gorging itself on the flesh of human children.

God talks to Luis Castillo.

Houstonians are generally genial, and though unremarkable, OJ Park is a decent place. So I hate to be negative. But this guy is the worst fucking usher I have ever seen (HE "WORKED" THE AISLE BETWEEN 127 and 128 tonight). That is a "stop" sign in his hand. Dude if you are reading this, you SUCK! Do your fucking job, it's easy enough.

To explain the above photo a bit, ushers at many fine and thoughtful parks limit fans from trouping down the stairs during at-bats or even during innings. They make you wait at the top until play is completed. This is awesome. Unlike ANY OF THE OTHER MINUTE MAID USHERS IN VIEW, the douchelord above, however, let people continually stream down the fucking isle, providing views like this (actually worse since they would block the view of many big pitches).

Nancy did indeed, agree to marry him. I'd have my doubts about this guy, especially with Jon Niese in attendance.

This is, I swear, the 200th picture of Wright I took, trying to capture him hitting a home run. He did just that on this swing, and it towered. Professional I am, I surprised myself with my emotions.

***
Can you name the 2009 player with each injury? No cheating! (I sure as hell can't.)
(one is more a general condition than an actual injury, just to keep you on your toes)

torn meniscus in right knee
right calf tendinitis
right hamstring strain
little bitch
Bone bruise, right knee
right shoulder discomfort
extreme elderly-ness
Fractured left pinkie finger
Holey swing
Torn right quadriceps
ignorance and immaturity (in the left knee)

***
Today...the exciting finale!

Hampton, Matsui, Keppinger Star in Mets Game

2009-07-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

The humiliations never cease. When Mike "School Systems" Hampton drove an 83 mph Johan Santana change up (?) out of Orange Juice Park tonight, I knew there was no (baseball) god.

Why throw a good hitting pitcher a change up meatball? I dunno, but then I'm not a highly remunerated star pitcher for the NY Metropolitans. I am also not qualified to coach third base for said baseball club, but clearly, neither is Razor Shines, who in the game's other highlight, sent Frenchy to certain doom to be gunned down by the Astros' mouth-breathing right fielder, Hunting Pants. Metfan fave Frenchy, who from where I sat, swerved at the last instant to avoid a full old-timer-when-men-were-men style collision with a de-roided and much deflated Pudge Rodriguez, thus not scoring what turned out to be a very important non-run. Francouer got "pantsed." With the scarce few Met players actually rounding third base these days, Shines is just plain meticulous in the way he squanders runs. He has no instincts for his job, routinely getting them mauled at the plate by 10 feet if not 20. He is like an activities director at a cliff-side camp for Lemmings. But that's old news.

This all happened and...I was there. Just like the humiliation last season in the series against Houston, and just like the failure at Dodger Stadium this season, I was there in person to drink in the massive, cascading, abysmal failure. Defensively it was a typical Mets game with misplays and mental errors galore, Murphy and Santana both threw away balls that I don't think led to runs but were hard to watch. But our best pitcher (who's declining performances have yet to raise even the slightest alarm amongst the Mets crackerjack training staff) gave up a decisive home run to a charter member of the Mets rouges gallery, the hated, beady-eyed traitor Mike Hampton. Hampton sucked, but unfortunately, Santana sucked louder.

If there is ever someone in the history of human life who hit more patented double play balls than Fernando Tatis, I remain skeptical. Tatis hits into double plays when there are two outs. There is precisely no reason for him to be on a major league ball club at this point in time. When Tatis bats, if he must continue to play, and there is a man on first, that runner must attempt a steal on the very first pitch if the Mets are to avoid being doubled up.

Some images from the game:

Rare, and suitable for framing.

Batting average can tell you things about a player.

Yep.

Just one more kick in the crotch.

It's not Omir Santos' fault the Mets don't surround him with supporting talent.

Keith doesn't know what to think.

The Mets' stars stare in the direction of the space where Johan just flipped the ball instead of tagging the runner.

The Mets have a better chance in the Battle of the Bands contest than they do of winning a single game of this series.

Washington Mets Season Down the Drain

2009-07-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Holy Funkinwoopdeewow! Wally Matthews is right on the money! It's that bad!!

A-rod enjoys a recruitment session with Tony Bernazard.

There are no wins.
There are no trades.
There are no prospects.
There are no worse teams.
There are no job openings.
There are funny videos.

R.i.p. ya shirt off and enjoy the following...

Incoming!! Stolen in the name of laughter from Amazin Avenue.

As to which one of these beauties takes top honors by the end of the year (oh so many many games left), no one can tell. Daniel Murphy's play has the style points, the lunge after he knows he's going down. But Francouer's entry stands out for the way he immediately starts chasing the ball after he ducks it. Tough call.

In any event, to keep the chuckling coming, please review the treasure below. There is something about baseballs that Frenchy just can't touch. Push the button!!

Ah It CAN get worse

2009-07-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

I would only be mildly surprised if Jose Reyes returns with a peg leg.

Ugh. Sports Illustrated is trying to stay in the game by flinging some outrageous rumors, now that Erin Andrews has stolen the sporting world's attention (Not the awkward Espy's from last night).

We can't be stopped.

ITEM 1.
Mets general manager Omar Minaya and manager Jerry Manuel have been reassured by club higher-ups that their jobs are not in jeopardy, league sources told SI.com.

If you're going to do this, Fred/Jeffy-poo, at least keep it a secret.

Of course, the Mets can't even put out a coherent rumor, seeing as the media is batting this one all over the place. If this turns out to be true, it just confirms what we suspected: the Mets will blame injuries entirely for this season, not Omar's winter bumbling. It certainly reminds me of the way they announced Omar's extension in the middle of its second straight regular season collapse last year. It's like they're trying to demoralize the fan base.

ITEM 2.
Jon Heyman of Sports Illustrated reported that the Mets had rejected a deal that would bring Blue Jays ace Roy Halladay to New York in exchange for Fernando Martinez, Jon Niese, Bobby Parnell and Ruben Tejada.

If you're going to do this, Omar, at least throw yourself off of a bridge.

The Mets rejection of a trade for Roy Halladay, if not complete bullshit (and it may be entirely phony), could end up eclipsing Omar's dumbest moves, because of the following points:

*Halladay is not a rental, he's signed through 2010, and Omar has been able to work out extensions in the past. This is Omar's only strongpoint, trading when it falls in his lap and cutting checks.
*If the Mets think they're getting Reyes and Beltran back among the walking before their contracts are up (and really, that's anyone's guess), then by their own logic they'd see themselves as competitors for 2010. So uh, if Halladay will waive his no-trade and consider an extension, then why not make the team better?
*Are the three guys anywhere near major league ready in this deal interesting prospects? Sure they are. But when you can get a pitcher like Halladay without fending off the Yankers and Sawx (I feel the Jays wouldn't trade him within their own division), you have to do it. Structurally, this is the same as the Johan deal, except for the Phillies. Boston and the Yankers are probably content if the Jay ace goes elsewhere. And nobody else has the same awful spending habits.
*Perhaps most importantly, if the Phillies land him, the Mets are toast til 2011. If he signs an extension another generation of Mets fans will watch the Mets be unable to even win their own division. If the Mets aren't a player, then they have to hope the Phils look at the NL East and realize they don't really need Halladay.
*It's only money, and it's not mine.

Sigh.

Paging Nelson Doubleday, or "Can't Anybody Own This Here Team?"

2009-07-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

This is a post that isn't afraid to point the finger. Sadly, attacking Fred Wilpon isn't as in style as it once was. Since he wrestled the team from Nelson Doubleday in 2002, I think enough time has gone by to evaluate the Wilpon regime. And, since the Mets are in a hole that they won't be digging themselves out of until 2010, we have some time on our hands.

This is the only picture of the former owner of the Mets I can find on the internet, and it gives an idea of how reclusive the guy has become since Wilpon has taken complete, disastrous control over the Mets. After Fred Wilpon and his dreams of Ebbets field finally stole the Mets out from under him with dirty dealings, collusion and legal maneuvers, Doubleday disappeared from the scene.

At least Doubleday was a hands-off owner, leaving the work of building a team to people like Frank Cashen. Sure he might or might not have made some ignorant remarks, but "only when he was drinking." The Wilpons, by contrast, have their hands in everything. And they know nothing about baseball or hiring personnel who know anything about the game and are good at their jobs. Art, Willie, Jerry. Case rested.

They have to go. But they won't.

Under their ownership, Wilpon and his lil' squirt (who is slated someday to take complete control) have given us many memories that we could discuss, like:

How they gave Tom Glavine, a four-year, $38.5 million deal.

Let the Br*ves celebrate their players.

The bone-headed trades of top prospects such as Scott K*zmir and Lastings Milledge for literally nothing.

The firing of Bobby Valentine, not Steve Phillips, who continues to know nothing about baseball.

Countless head-scratching long term deals given to aged, broken down veterans.

Julio Franco's steel-reinforced cake.

They let Willie Randolph manage the team, perhaps because they didn't want to spend money on a real, experienced manager, then they ruthlessly fired him at 2 AM somewhere on the West coast, embarrassing everyone.

The building of a new stadium (Jeffy's Job) with obstructed views...for the television network, a fawning celebration of the Dodgers that leaves Mets fans irate, a home run apple that doesn't go up when it gets the rare opportunity, walls painted black(?) and built to a height meant to stifle the production/career of the Mets only remaining homegrown star, and a bullpen that looks like a concentration camp, all named after a leader in bringing the great depression back to the US, who borrowed money from the taxpayers so that they could continue to reap outrageous profits at our expense. The ultimate symbol of the Wilpon's tenure?

"I made this!"

Also, this:

Or we could let some more pictures tell the tale:

Next year's crop of stiffs for the rotation?

The people Wilpon hires to manage the Mets only talk about plans when they first are hired. There is no plan...for baseball or an organization that is devoted to baseball. Now, for a price gouging sports entertainment complex, there certainly was a plan (not a very good one, but a plan nonetheless): build a second-rate stadium on the public teat and watch their investment grow. The conclusion I have reached is that they, the Wilpons, are the problem. Having done the real estate deal they always dreamed of, and driven the team that occupies the real estate into the ground, the Wilpons need to do the right thing and step away. In seven years they have given us one decent season, one that ended when Carlos Beltran forgot to swing. I think it is fair to say they have failed miserably as owners.

Evaluatin' the Revoltin' Metropolitans

2009-07-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

The beginning of the end (photo swiped from the Daily News).

I haven't been motivated to post on this lousy team. I started about 3 posts then lost interest. Judging by the comments section, so have my readers. This blog was created in bad times to provide on-line comedy to go with the on-field tragedy. But the yuks are few and far in between.

If you're looking for symbolic low points, the Ollie vs. Lowe face off has to be a contender. Omar's dumbest move by far, set out neatly so that no one could miss it. Frank the Closer walking in Mariano Rivera on the occasion of Rivera's record setting whatever has to be there for shear symbolic humiliation. And, in the near future, the coming, almost inevitable nadirs will no doubt include Pedro Martinez no-hitting the Mets as a Phillie. No one will be watching by then, but still.

Today's win over the Br*ves was nice I suppose. That Johan didn't get lit up alone was soothing. I watched it in Spanish, the only feed available in Los Angeles, which made the Faux broadcast strangely tolerable. No, I do not speak Spanish. My impressions are the following: Angel Pagan and Alex Cora would be nice backups on a contender, when not injured. It was scary to watch David Wright's ankle get turned, but who isn't expecting him to go down soon? After Gary Sheffield refused a ride on the Atlanta injury pick-up truck last night (cue banjo music) and hobbled into the clubhouse under his own power, I figured there was only one man left standing. Friday night's drubbing also left me thinking its time for Big Pelf to stop coming up small, and spend some time in the minors learning how to get batters out.

***
MLB prides itself on its internet video presence. But its pages are damn near unnavigable. Just try finding the recap video (the one you'd want to watch first rather than piece highlights from both teams together yourself) linked anywhere near Marty "Pants" Noble's game descriptions. To find the videos even, you have to go through the scoreboard page to get to the shared recap (both teams) page, and even then the main recap doesn't always turn up. And what's with the tiny tiny picture in the middle of a huge black space? The MLB website is run like the Mets; with seemingly no forethought or obvious ability.
***

The Mets accomplishments thus far basically boil down to the successful job retainment skills of Omar and Jerry, and the fans crunching their way into the record book via potato chips. The Mets brass must have been excited to see the ill-informed preseason prediction polls as to which team would have a successful year, but everyone knew that last season's make over was not nearly comprehensive enough.

If you want to catch up on your mid-season reading, Adam Rubins' article is as good a place to start as any, as it condemns the medical staff's approach, something I've been hoping to see addressed by the media in more detail. Rubin claims that Mets players are comfortable with the doctors, its the way the organization uses the docs input that has them steaming, off the record. Beltran is said to be pissed. As for JJ Putz:

Putz, who ultimately underwent surgery last month to remove a bone spur from his right elbow, had been told by team doctor David Altchek weeks earlier that he needed to immediately have the spur removed, a team source said. Instead, the Mets advocated a cortisone shot. Putz went 0-2 with a blown save and 7.71 ERA in 10 subsequent appearances before needing the procedure anyway.

One question that I can't understand is, if Altchek knew about bone spurs a couple months ago, did this problem develop sometime between the winter and then? Probably not. So who examines players the Mets are looking to acquire? Dr. Who? This guy?

I don't have enough information to make credible comments about the Mets' medical malaise, but I do have enough evidence to start to be pissed.

Too many bad apples?

This season is particularly hard to assess. One approach says that the Mets continued failures are symptomatic of the people the Wilpons have charged with planning and executing the Mets strategy. Outside of calls for Minaya and Manuel's heads, attention is starting to fall on other suspects, like Mets VP Tony Bernazard and Trainer Ray Ramirez. The Mets front office is filled with bad apples, and some say fire everybody.

Another approach says the fire sale needs to start now. Of course, with Shef going down yesterday, there really isn't that much left to trade. Fernando Martinez has now had surgery so even if Omar wanted to he couldn't move him. And I have no confidence in this regime's ability to identify young potential talent in any event. But Pedro Feliciano is certainly unnecessary on a team such as the Mets, and may bring a modest return. This team needs a lot of starting pitching, and if I'm planning for the future in Citi, I would think about stockpiling as many 2-3 starters as possible, in contrast to stockpiling 5-6 starters as Omar prefers. Even though this year is a lost cause, if the right deal comes along for an 1A or a 2 or 3, I say jump in with both feet and maybe the Yanks and Sawx will cancel each other out again. What else is there to do?