Daddy's Roses

A Note to Our "Gimme" Society

2008-05-05T07:41:00.002-04:00

.... the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else.

-General Peyton C. March (1864-1955)

Forum on manhood misses the mark

2008-04-26T03:33:00.003-04:00

Columnist Jim Wooten recently wrote a commentary about a March conference held at Macon State College. The conference was ostensibly "a conversation about manhood" and was led by a group of black professionals such as doctors, teachers, lawyers, clergypersons, and politicians. Mr. Wooten's comments were based on a report in The Macon Telegraph written by reporter, Ashley Tusan Joyner, in which she details some of the topics discussed in the conference. Go to the link above for Mr. Wooten's full article; I found the comments below especially interesting.

But it is shocking to read that given the opportunity to have a conversation about manhood with young males, role models who are successful and accomplished in life chose to talk to them as potential criminals and as victims....

Not addressed, apparently, was manhood, as in fatherhood. Or manhood, as in taking responsibility... The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported in early March that at least one in four teenage girls nationally has a sexually transmitted disease. Among black teens ages 14-19, it’s nearly half.

Another study released last week offers findings that are...further evidence of the need to reorient the conversation. ... 25 percent of white children, 46 percent of Hispanics and 69 percent of blacks are born to unmarried women....When combined with divorce... almost a third of children live in single-parent homes...

Any number of studies have documented the harm to children and the social costs in higher rates of crime, drug abuse, poverty, mental and physical illnesses, educational failures, and other damaging consequences to children deprived of the life-guiding influence of both parents.

Now Benjamin Scafidi, an economist in the J. Whitney Bunting School of Business at Georgia College & State University in Milledgeville, presents valuable new research on the economic costs. “We estimate that family fragmentation costs U.S. taxpayers at least $112 billion each and every year, or more than $1 trillion each decade,”..... If public policies encouraging marriage reduced family fragmentation by just 1 percent, the savings to taxpayers would amount to $1.1 billion yearly, the study finds.

It seems clear that the conversation about what constitutes “manhood” needs to change, especially when the government, the media, opinion leaders and community role models gather young men to help them define it. Manliness is not creating and abandoning babies and the women who bear them.

Leah Ward Sears, chief justice of the Georgia Supreme Court, is one of the voices stepping up...

“Healthy marriage is not only the best place to raise children, it is the indispensable institution without which all other social reform efforts will fail,” she said. “Healthy and intact families are the cradle of thriving societies.” Preach that. Teach that. Counsel that.

The Job of Cooking #9 - Quick and Easy Meals

2008-04-24T22:28:00.001-04:00

Tips for when you just need to get a meal on the table...

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Remember that a nutritious meal need only have a small amount of protein along with some fruits and/or veggies. The protein can be a small amount of meat, or it can be a combination of dairy and grain such as a cheese sandwich, or it can be dried beans. A starch such as bread, potatoes, or rice can add filler if your family needs (or wants ) a heavier meal.

One quick and easy one-dish meal would be to add any leftover meat to bagged salad. If you don't have any left-over meat from the day before, open a can of chicken breast or tuna.

A grilled cheese sandwich served with tomato soup makes a complete meal.

A peanut butter sandwich with apple slices (or fresh grapes or celery sticks) on the side makes a complete meal.

A scrambled-egg sandwich served with fruit would be a quick choice.

Another quick and easy one-dish complete meal: Cut up a couple of chicken breasts (half-thawed meat is easiest to slice), cook the bite-size pieces in a skillet with a little olive oil and add whatever fresh or frozen veggies you have on hand, season as desired, and stir-fry until done. You could serve this "as is" or with rice or some other starchy vegetable.

Thursday Thirteen - My Edition 62 - Secrets to Long Life

2008-04-23T09:08:00.007-04:00

Thursday Thirteen

I know that the theme of Thursday Thirteen this week is supposed to be vacation places, but I have written several times about vacation spots, so I am reporting instead on an article I read recently about life habits of centenarians.

The May/June issue of The AARP magazine had a special report on four Blue Zones around the world where many people live to be over 100 years of age. The author of the article coined the term "Blue Zone" in an earlier article he wrote for National Geographic in 2005, "The Secrets of Long Life." The Nicoya Peninsula of Costa Rica is one newly-researched zone. Here are 13 of the secrets of long life that Dan Buettner discovered in talking to the centenarians who live there.

1. Have a strong sense of purpose.

2. Drink hard water.

3. Keep a focus on family.

4. Eat a light dinner.

5. Maintain social networks.

6. Keep hard at work.

7. Get some sensible sun.

8. Embrace a common history.

In addition to this list of eight life-habits that the author specifically culled from his interviews and listed, I found evidence for several others that seem just as important.

9. Reach out to others. The author interviewed a lady named Panchita; in that interview he mentions that she has a habit of reaching out and touching the arm of the person to whom she is talking. This literal "reaching out" is just an outward sign of the inner tendency to "reach out" emotionally to connect with others.

10. Don't harbor worries and grudges. Panchita tells several stories that illustrate this life habit. She tells of her son's murder but finishes the tale with, "God does everything for a reason. I am a blessed woman today." When she finishes retelling the story of chasing away and beating a peeping tom when she was bathing in the river at age 70, she says, "I did a bad thing, ...but still God blesses me."

11. Eat natural and non-processed foods. Panchita's family grows most of their own foods, and her idea of a treat is a banana. Sugar and salt were hard to come by and seldom used.

12. Socialize and network intergenerationally. Each old person's story mentioned children who regularly visited with the centenarians; each mentioned younger adults who either helped or depended to some degree upon the older adult. The centenarian both contributed to and received contributions from persons of other generations.

13. Take care of your appearance. Panchita greeted the visitors wearing a festive dress, long colorful earrings, and had her hair pulled back and held with a rhinestone-studded comb. Her nails were neatly trimmed and she wore a silver band on her ring finger.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood - Whitetail Deer

2008-04-22T10:41:00.004-04:00

I just went for a morning walk around our neighborhood. By the time I had a light jacket (for the morning chill), a bottle of water (I'm never without one), my reading glasses (ya never know when you might need to actually SEE something closeup), my sunglasses, my cellphone (don't leave home without it!), my ipod (listening to a novel keeps me walking), and some tissues, I decided against also hanging the camera around my neck. Mistake!

As I walked my two mile track winding around nearby short lightly-traveled streets, I found myself in a stand-off with a group of 5 deer. They obviously wanted to go where I had just been. They stood back and warily watched me approach. I veered from my planned route at the intersection in order to give them a wide berth and not further concern them. As soon as I turned in the opposite direction, I could almost hear their sigh of relief and their leader turned and signaled them that it was now safe to continue on their way. They had bravely stood their ground and let me approach to within about 50 feet apparently aware that I could make a turn in the opposite direction when I got to the street. They ran behind a house and peered around the corner at me to be sure I was continuing to put distance between them and me. What an opportunity for a picture I missed.

Simpsonwood - A Retreat Center

2008-04-22T10:18:00.003-04:00

We just got home yesterday from a Sunday School Class retreat at Simpsonwood. This is a beautiful retreat facility located on the banks of the Chattahoochee River just North of the perimeter road (I-285) of Atlanta. The land was donated to the North Georgia Conference of the United Methodist Church back in the 6o's. There was stipulation that the land not be sold but used as a retreat center. Many church members of the day objected to accepting the gift (which had already been refused by the Presbyterian Church I understand), but it was eventually accepted. For a number of years the land was mostly unused, but gradually the building began. First a church -- later an administration building with large kitchen and dining rooms, meeting rooms, a large lobby, and a beautiful rocking chair back porch. The grounds now house the administrative offices of the conference (the Bishop's office among others), 5 lodging facilities, numerous walking trails and other recreational features such as swimming pool, soccer field, tennis courts, etc.

The Fellowship class of our church asked my DH to be the spiritual leader of the retreat. We had a group of 36 attend and had a wonderful time. We had 3 "sessions" and a worship service, but the remainder of the time was ours to spend enjoying the beautiful surrounding and spending time with our Christian friends. Here is a pic or the atrium where we had our sessions, at the bottom of the page is the chapel where our worship service was held. We went for a nice long wooded walk along the river Sunday afternoon. The weather was perfect. The wildlife was enjoying the habitat as well - we saw 3 deer and numerous squirrels. The entire weekend provided a refreshing and renewing experience.

BTW, the retreat center accepts church groups from all denominations, family reunions, and other groups. One can also check in as in any motel or hotel and spend a night or two, with or without meals included. A homeschool organization was setting up to use one of the convention buildings for CRCT testing as we left Monday morning.

Sunday Seven 49th Edition

2008-04-18T10:25:00.004-04:00

I have seen several YouTube videos (and one from another source) this week that I found either entertaining, amazing, amusing, or simply interesting. I will try to link them here.

1. The Devil's Swimming Pool - atop Victoria Falls. Can you imagine jumping into this pool as the water all around you plunges over the falls into the gorge below?!

2. My brother's squirrel dance - The fun never stops with Terrell! Scroll to the bottom under the still pics.

3. Explanation of the procedure of late-term abortion. A representative from a group called Priests for Life demonstrates the procedure. I don't know how to classify this one - maybe you'd rather not see it.

4. Grammar Rock - I have always enjoyed the Schoolhouse Rock series.

5. Sand Art - Shalom!

6. Then there's always Barbeque Art! Whatever! To each his own, I guess.

7. And for finishers -- here's another amusing squirrel video.

I hope my links work - I have to learn how to imbed a video so one can just click on the screen.

Happy Weekend, Friends!

Thursday Thirteen - My Edition 61 - Unfinished Posts

2008-04-17T07:36:00.001-04:00

Thirteen Blogposts I have Started but Never Finished

I have sometimes described myself as a "compulsive finisher." That is an apt description most of the time - I find it difficult to leave a job half-done. I believe that this is a common attribute of perfectionists - we put off starting a job because we don't want to start what we won't have time or energy to complete. This morning I set out to finish up a couple of blog posts and rediscovered several embryonic pieces that I had forgotten about. Here are 13 of them:

1. Back in June of 2006 I started a post I titled "Teenagers: Work or School?" I never finished this one because I see both sides of that issue and never could draw satisfactory conclusions.

2. In January 2007, collected several interesting jokes, quotes, etc. about the use of prepositions and intended to incorporate them into a humorous post.

3. In March of 2007 I set out to write about the merits of poetry and some tips for writing it.

4. April last year was a big year for false starts in my writing. I drafted a post purportedly to teach the 8 parts of speech and their usage.

5. Also in April 2007 I wanted to pontificate on the background of the word "vocation" and what it means.

6. I had a flash of insight and inspiration on how a wide base of general knowlege is essential to reading success.

7-9. My brain flashes in April 2007 continued with just-begun posts on: How Doctors Think, Use of Time, and Setting Goals.

10. In May I intended to write a Mother's Day post, but you know what they say about good intentions...

11. In July I wanted to write a post about Bread. I gathered information about the etymology of the word, both in English and in Spanish as well as the Biblical analogy of Jesus as the Bread of Life.

12-13. Before our cruise in November, I prepared an individual post about each port of call on the cruise. I pasted in back-ground information on each port city and planned to add in personal information from our experience there. Oops! Never got around to finishing those 8 or 10 posts!

Parents of Our Future

2008-04-16T13:16:00.003-04:00

I saw this quotation for the first time today - a profound truth in memorable wording:

We should try to be the parents of our future rather than the offspring of our past.

-Miguel de Unamuno, writer and philosopher (1864-1936)

I would like the quote even better as an imperative:

Don't just be an offspring of your past. Be the parent of your future!

- Unamuno adapted by the author of Daddy's Roses

Disparate Housewives #5 - Cleaning the Frig

2008-04-16T10:04:00.004-04:00

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After years of growing unintentional "science projects" in the back of the frig, I finally hit upon a system to keep control of those leftovers and open containers. Every week, on the night before garbage pickup, when I empty all the small waste cans into a bag to take to the curb, I spend an additional 5 minutes and go through the refrigerator. I throw away any leftovers, expired foods, and containers that have been open too long, wipe the empty and visible surfaces in the refrigerator with a clorox wipe, close up the garbage bag and take it out. Doing this weekly cleanout is virtually effortless and keeps the refrigerator current and leaves shelves available for fresh food.

Sunday Seven - 48th Edition

2008-04-12T17:23:00.007-04:00

Seven Blessings, Enjoyments, Privileges, and Treasures I have enjoyed this past week:

1. I used this SS header this week because DH and I spent a great deal of time perusing possible cruises for this late Summer. We pored over the brochures, talked to our travel agent, and had several good possibilities. Today we came to the conclusion that all the possibilities are just out of reach financially right now. Disappointed? You bet! However, we had some enjoyable hours thinking about it, remembering cruises of the past, and anticipating future ventures. We also enjoyed catching up with news of our old hometown as we talked with our travel agent, who still lives there. So, Number 1 on my list this week is a sad face with a twinkle in its eye (or a happy face with a wistful expression in the eyes.)

2. Here is a pic of the itinerary of the cruise we were most interested in. We have never been to Alaska, or even to the west coast at all; so this a a tour we'd love to do.

3. On Monday, I got to spend time with my mother and all six of my siblings as we supported each other in our grief over the death of our cousin, Don Baird. Don was more a brother than a cousin; and I thank God for the blessing of his life. He was a loving relative and a positive contributor to our world. He will be greatly missed. You can read what has been written about Don recently here, and here, and here, and here, and here, and here.

4. Last Sunday was the 14th birthday of a very special young man in my life. He had a happy birthday. Here is a pic of him from several years ago - I think it shows his personality as he poses with his sisters. Of course he is no longer that little boy and is, instead, a tough and cool TEENAGER now!

5. My oldest younger brother, Terrell, has posted on his blog recently some absolutely breath-taking photos of the beauty of nature in our little corner of the world. He is a sensitive, nature-appreciating photographer and teacher whose commentary about his pictures lends another dimension to the already impressive photos. While you are there, scroll on down to see many other beautiful pictures in his recent posts.

6. Our daughter (a teacher) and her children were on Spring Break this past week and chose to spend part of the week with us! We had such a good time. The children discovered the joy of climbing trees as they enjoyed the out-of-doors here.

7. I have found time to read blogs and write a little this week.

The Biggest Little Word #2

2008-04-11T15:24:00.004-04:00

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In the first edition of The Biggest Little Word, the question seemed to have a universal answer. THE BEACH!

The question was: If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

You can go back here to read my response.

Amanda added her response: "I'll be on the next private island over and we can stand there and wave at each other! Just behave -- because I'll be able to see you!"

Carol had this to say: "At THIS moment, I would transport myself to Mother's house so I wouldn't have to make the trip (by car or plane) tomorrow. But, in general, I would be on a private island -- but it wouldn't be visible from Joan's or Amanda's islands. And the sun would be shining, but it wouldn't be too hot - just warm enough to feel wonderful."

Okay then, Amanda, I am trying to behave! Pass me that sunscreen over here, will you? And, Hey! watch out! Carol is heading over this way with a cup of ice water in her hand and mischief in her eye! You might be "chillin'" before you know it!

Now, on to the new IF:

If you could suddenly possess an extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would you like for it to be?

My response: "I would find fulfillment and satisfaction in being a great writer. My compositions would range from poetry and song to mystery novels. My songs would be recorded and sung around the world, and the protagonist in my series of novels would be discussed around dinner tables as widely as Sam Spade, Harry Potter, Stephanie Plum, Atticus Finch, or Tom Sawyer.

My advice on how to wring the most possible fulfillment from life would be published in a best-seller and would be discussed on Oprah and all the other big talk shows. Because of my facility with language and my lucid explications of them, great philosophies of the past would be more-widely understood than ever before, resulting in greater understanding and communication in society."

What extraordinary talent will you possess?

Disparate Housewives #4 - Uses for Vinegar

2008-04-06T10:14:00.010-04:00

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Plain distilled (clear) vinegar has many, many uses in the home. I buy it in the large containers, since it is very inexpensive and has so many uses. It is a natural deodorizer and is good to use for illiminating odor in the dishwasher (run an empty cycle) or the garbage disposal. It neutralizes onion odor on hands. Distilled vinegar is inexpensive and environment-friendly.

Today's tip for the disparate housewife is: Use distilled vinegar as a natural fabric softener. This can be especially helpful for families who have sensitive skin. Add ½ cup of vinegar to the rinse cycle in place of store bought fabric softener. Vinegar has the added benefit of breaking down laundry detergent more effectively. (A plus when you have a family member whose skin detects every trace of detergent.)

The Biggest Little Word #1

2008-04-03T19:18:00.002-04:00

The Biggest Little Word

The Biggest Little Word, the first in a new series on Daddy's Roses, debuts today with our thoughtful question of the day. Leave a comment with your response, and I will compile the results in a future post. Please also link to The Biggest Little Word and we will garner even more interesting responses from all our readers.

So, on to today's question:

If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

Here's my response:

If I could physically transport myself to any place in the world at this moment, I would be on a private tropical beach. I would be walking in the edge of the water, spotting unusual shells every few steps. The storm that Georgia is experiencing as I post this would be far away. Here on the beach the sun is going to bed; the water reflects the golds, purples, and fuschias of the sky; the soothing music of the waves provides the accompaniment for my restful thoughts; and my worries drift away on the gentle breeze.

Where are you?

The Job of Cooking #8 - Quote

2008-04-03T18:10:00.002-04:00

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This eighth edition of The Job of Cooking brings you this anonymous comment found in the daily vent of the Atlanta Journal Constitution last week:

"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, THAT'S not gonna happen!"

I wish I had written that one! Maybe I should claim it.

Thursday Thirteen - Edition 61 - Things on my Mind

2008-03-27T11:10:00.005-04:00

13 activities that have consumed my blogging time

1. Dealing with a real estate lawyer - We have been exploring possibilities to solve our problems with our crazy neighbor so we can sell our albatross. At this point, the lawyer's office is researching precedents, so the ball is in the lawyer's court. We are shuffling our feet and dancing around as we wait for the return volley -- fully expecting an ace right on the line. After all, why should anything go in our favor now, after all this time? Financial miracles have not been part of our life-history. On the up side, however, we finally have renters in the house, so we don't have to make two of every utility payment each month; and a little money is actually coming in, cheerily waving hello as it passes all the funds that are going out.

2. Refinancing our mortgage -- Our mortgage banker approached us a couple of months ago about refinancing the mortgage on our current home. We can, allegedly, make smaller payments for a shorter length of time by refinancing at a lower rate. She has been "working" on that for over a month now; so we are again waiting for our opportunity to return the volley. I sure hope we can win this point!

3. Updating our very dated home -- Since we bought this built-in-the-sixties home about two years ago, we have been slowly making it more liveable. So far we have put in a new furnace, painted the sunroom floor, had the outside trim painted, put on new shutters, removed old carpet and had the hardwood floors refinished, put in a new toilet in the guest bath and new fixtures in both showers, and bought and installed a new dishwasher and refrigerator. We have ordered and are set to install, within the next week or so, new countertops, sinks, and garbage disposal in the kitchen. We have removed wallpaper in the hall and the guest bath, and yesterday I bought primer and paint to paint those rooms. The wallpaper removal was simple in the hall (it had been applied over a painted surface.) The bathroom was another story. The wallpaper had been applied to bare wallboard. We finally gave up on getting the wallpaper backing and adhesive removed well, and today we are puttying and sanding walls to apply a primer before painting in there. Actually my dear DH is sanding away as I dawdle at the computer!

4. Trying to figure out how to remedy the damage done in our yard by the drought. All our azaleas are dead, the plants in the box by the mailbox and the natural area in the back are brown and dry. So far, we have just debated and mourned - no time for action on that front yet.

5. Income Taxes - April 15 is fast approaching, so gathering info, filling in blanks, making calls, researching new deductions, etc., have been the order of the day, so to speak. We got it sent off the the preparer this week.

6. Birthdays and family "stuff" - Early Spring holds big days in our extended family, and Easter horned into the schedule early this year. Mother's bday in February starts it off. DH and Biggest Little Brother have theirs in March; both grandsons' come the first week of April. Daughter's family is building a house in our town. They now live two hours away, so we have been doing a little of the local "stuff" on their behalf. G'kid's activities take a lot of time. Today for example, Doc has a tennis match at 4:00, Raye a soccer game at 5:00, and Nat a softball game at 7:30! Jed's 7th birthday party is Saturday.

7. Illnesses - One by one, many of us, including Moi, have suffered through a week or so of this year's prevailing epizudic. Oldest granddaughter, Raye, has had 3 concussions in the last 3 years playing basketball; so she had an appointment with a neurologist today to see if there has been damage that needs to be considered. The CAT scan this AM showed some areas of concern, and they have scheduled an MRI later this month and a follow-up appointment with the neurologist to discuss recommendations. Her basketball and soccer careers may be derailed - perhaps it is time for this very athletic and competitive girl to take up tennis or golf! In an alternate reality, she could actually become a scholar instead of an athlete!!! Sweet Nat hurt her finger playing softball a couple of weeks ago. Her pediatrician has recommended that she go to an orthopedic doc since the finger still hurts even though it has been splinted since the injury. She is going today for XRays.

And more seriously, my dear cousin, Don, has remained in critical condition for several weeks due to cancer surgery with complications from a collection of other weakening conditions. Don and his wife will celebrate, the Lord willing, their 3rd anniversary this week. Other than his wife, his closest relatives are my mother, my siblings, my cousin Jane, and I. I have made a couple of long trips to spend some time with Don while I can.

8. Other leisure choices - I have been reading and doing sudokus instead of writing recently. Neither takes the energy that writing does, and those can both be done sitting in a recliner and dozing for variety. I have read more than 6 novels this month as well as several magazines, and done a lot of research on wall-paper removal, the Lenten season, and other topics. To be perfectly honest, three of those "reads" have been "listens" on my Ipod as I run errands and labor on household chores. I can't write while removing wallpaper or driving to Lowe's, but I can listen to a novel. BTW, I just finished listening to "The Quickie" by James Patterson. It sped up wallpaper-removal time dramatically. I will run errands to "Taken by Storm" this afternoon.

9. I have tried to concentrate on exercise and weight control lately. I am not being very successful, but I have fit in a few walks and a little more healthy home-cooking than usual. Planning, shopping for, and cooking nutritious meals takes a lot more time than just running by the pizza place or going to Applebee's.

10. I have been researching another cruise. After all, we ARE allegedly retired, and one of our goals for retirement was to travel more. I am also looking into an AMTRAK trip to visit Sis in DC. Surprise, Jan!!

11- 13. You name it; I'm your girl. I am childcare giver, personal shopper, chauffeur, errand-runner, researcher on any topic of your need, and general flunkie!

Sunday Seven - 47th Edition

2008-03-01T13:53:00.002-05:00

I'm a Georgia girl - one of those dyed-in-the-wool GRITS (girls raised in the south). I have lived all but 8 years of my life somewhere in Georgia -- but never more than 7 years in one city or town! I was raised as a Methodist PK (preacher's kid) and then, doggone if I didn't go and marry a Methodist preacher, so I have lived my entire life in parsonages all over North Georgia - about 13 of them in all. Anyway, I am glad to be a Georgian; and since the name contains seven letters, this week I will use the letters of GEORGIA to list 7 things I like about my home state and its inhabitants:

G = The geography of the state is varied and magnificent. The Northeast corner holds the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. The Southest corner is on the Atlantic coast and features beautiful white-sand beaches. The Northwest has scenery ranging from rolling green hills to spectacular cliffs overlooking deep-cut gorges where rivers have flowed for eons. Central Georgia is heavily developed and populated, providing shopping and entertainment possibilities for all Georgians.

E = The economy of the state is relatively healthy. Our taxes, gas prices, and general living expenses are usually lower than in some more populated and industrialized states.

O = Open spaces. There is still undeveloped land where one can take a country road and drive for miles seeing only pastures, animals, and natural scenery. There are walking trails where one can enjoy the same scenery on foot. I have enjoyed walking the Silver Comet trail many times. It was built following the path of a defunct railroad track.
R = Many of my relatives live somewhere in Georgia. Our current generation of twenty-somethings is getting adventurous (one in California, one in NY, one in Germany, one in DC, one in Kenya, and one in New Hampshire), but their grandmother and their parents live in Georgia, so they still have ties and visit here. Many aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. still live in the Atlanta area. A few live in neighboring states Alabama and Tennessee.

G = Good Manners. Most people in the South are welcoming and polite to strangers. I like the fact that strangers will "throw up a hand" to you as you drive by. I like the fact that those you pass on the street will look you in the eye and say "hi." I enjoy the fact that most people still know how to use "please" and "thank you." I especially love the roadway tradition of moving to the side of the road and stopping as a show of respect when a funeral procession approaches oncoming traffic.

I = The Infrequency of Ice and Snow. Every winter when I rush to and from the car when forced to be outdoors in below freezing temperatures and cower under multiple blankets on the sofa in the evenings, I thank my lucky stars that I live in a state where a heavy coat is needed only a few times a year.

A = Assumption of good intentions. This is not as prevalent as it was in my childhood, but Southerners, generally speaking, don't get "their panties in a wad" too easily. That comes from being brought up to assume that other people are acting with good intentions even if something appears to be insulting or negative in some way. Generally people will at least give someone the opportunity to explain further rather than to just "fly off the handle" immediately upon hearing something with which they disagree.

These good qualities are probably not exclusive to Georgia, but they do exist here.

Thursday Thirteen - My Edition 60 - What Are You Asking Yourself? John Wesley

2008-02-27T06:30:00.005-05:00

In my small-group Lenten study, we are using the 22 questions that John Wesley urged the early "methodists" to ask themselves each day. Remember that the denomination that we call Methodist today got that name because they were known to be very methodical in their study and lifestyle. As the leader of the group, John Wesley strongly believed that Christians needed daily contemplation of the Bible's living guidelines and daily scrutiny of their lives. He encouraged small-group study and discussion for those who sought to live as Jesus lived. These groups provided the members with self-evaluation and group-accountability as they shared with each other their successes and failures in attempting to live Godly lives.

Our Lenten study groups are meeting weekly during the 6 weeks of Lent, so we are considering 3 or 4 of the 22 questions at each session.

Here are 13 of Wesley's 22 daily self-examination questions. How do you stack up?

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am?

2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?

3. Do I pass on to another what was told to me in confidence?

4. Can I be trusted?

5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?

6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?

7. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?

8. Am I proud?

9. Do I grumble or complain constantly?

10. How do I spend my spare time?

11. Am I defeated in any part of my life?

12. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?

13. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?

So what do you think? What are you asking yourself?

What Are You Asking Yourself? Martin Luther King, Jr.

2008-02-27T06:09:00.003-05:00

Today's quote in A Word a Day was a good one from MLK.

Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question,'Is it politic?' Vanity asks the question, 'Is it popular?' But, conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but one must take it because one's conscience tells one that it is right. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sunday Seven - 46th Edition

2008-02-23T09:44:00.010-05:00

Today I am listing 7 activities of my grandchildren that I have participated in, observed, enjoyed, or otherwise experienced this week (in a few cases, the activities are upcoming.)

1. Our fifteen-year-old granddaughter spent part of the day with me Wednesday when she had to be out of school with a high fever. She slept most of the time, but I enjoyed having her here. After her doctor said that she did NOT have the flu, she went with me to my daughter's house (2 hours away) to visit overnight Wednesday night. We had a wonderful trip together. My daughter (her aunt), she and I had such fun together in the vehicle -- good talk about values and standards, lots of laughs about the antics of my daughter's students, and great bonding time. She inherited the quick wit of my DH, like her dad and aunt did. She can be an enchanting conversationalist. Then we had a good day together Thursday while everybody else was at school or work. I haven't had that much opportunity to spend time with her in years.

2. Thursday night I had the marvelous privilege to go to PTO with my daughter to see her middle child, my sweet Nat, perform in the school talent show. There were 16 acts that were chosen at audition, and she and her two friends made the cut. They wore Hannah Montana pajamas, carried big fluffy heart pillows and sang a HM song while pretending a sleepover and pillow fight. They choreographed it themselves and did a great job.

3. I got to meet Beautiful Bre's teacher at the talent show. She was extremely complimentary of my granddaughter, which of course endeared her to me. It is such a blessing when children love their teachers and the teachers appreciate the child's uniqueness. We have been blessed with some wonderful teachers for our grandchildren.

4. Today we will attend two ballgames played by 13-year-old Doc's traveling basketball team. I am looking forward to that. He is the ball-handler who brings the ball down the court, and it is fun to watch him dribble behind his back and between his legs, bounce a pass through the competition to a teammate, or make a long 3-pointer when he is open to do so. He is short for a basketball player but incredibly agile and fast (like his dad was.)

5. Today also our sweet currently-sick Rae's high school basketball team plays in the first game of the state tournament. They won the regional competition last week. Rae is the only freshman on the varsity team, so she doesn't play a lot and, of course, will not play today since she is still running a fever. But, as you can imagine, as regional champs, their games inspire a lot of community enthusiasm and are always well-attended, exciting and LOUD.

6. Tonight at 6:00 our son's youngest child, nine-year-old Aggie, will compete in a beauty pageant. I will try to post some pics later this week. I wrote earlier about her trying on her dress for us. Tonight she will have on shoes and her hair will be combed (not to mentioned professionally coiffed!), so she might look a little fancier than she did in our living room barefoot and sporting bedhead!

7. Baby E, no longer a baby but the youngest of our grandchildren, is the most incredibly independent thinker and a math genius. He's in first grade and has his own plans for his extracurricular activites. He stated a couple of years ago that he was going to play soccer first, then basketball, then football. He did the soccer season and the basketball season, but he didn't want to repeat either one until he did the football thing; so he is waiting for football season to roll around again before he gets involved in another sport. He really enjoyed his season of the first two sports and did well at them, but he has his plan and he's stickin' to it! So we're getting a little bit of a spectating break courtesy of his plan!

Update: Here are a couple of pics from the pageant tonight:

Sunday Seven - 45th Edition

2008-02-16T13:51:00.005-05:00

In the belief that replaying and focusing on the positive aspects of life leads to a greater sense of gratefulness and a stronger desire to contribute positively to the world, and in the hope that we will gain strength and joy from sharing these with one another, we Sunday Seveners take one blogging opportunity each week to share seven blessings, joys, or tidbits of news from the past week or seven expectations for the coming week. We'd love to have you join us. Here are mine for this week:

1. This past week I had the opportunity to keep my three out-of-town grandchildren a few hours. Their mother, a teacher, had parent conferences and the children had early-release days. So I picked them up at noon each day from school and stayed with them. I arrived at their house Wednesday morning and came home Friday morning. We had a wonderful time.

2. In addition to getting to spend this time with three of my favorite children in the world, I had a wonderful solitary country drive to their town and back home. I took the country route - slow, but scenic and less stressful than the multi-lane interstates around Atlanta. There was little traffic (comparitively speaking), and I just took as much time as I wanted, especially coming home. I stopped and walked around a Walmart, I stopped to pump gas, I sipped on some great Southern iced tea, I stopped and wandered around an interesting antique flea market in Cartersville, and as I drove I listened to an audio CD of a good Iris Johannson mystery, Stalemate.

3. I was away from my house for three days, so I could forget that I still have many boxes that need to be unpacked and "things" that still don't have "places" in this house.

4. I got to feel like I was some help to my precious greatly-overworked and stressed daughter, who is almost ME. We are very close and share numerous interests; we feel each other's pains and stresses and enjoy each other's successes; it was a joy to take a little of her load this week. I got the laundry caught up, kept the dishwasher loaded and unloaded, helped the children with homework and getting valentines ready, and listened to each of the children read each night.

5. I didn't gain weight this week. I also did not lose weight this week. Considering that I did not cook and did not get any planned exercise, I am pleased just not to have gained. I will start back on the losing track this coming week.

6. The weather has been very varied. We have had some much-needed rain; we have had some very warm and comfortable days; we have had some very chilly and invigorating days.

7. Every day this weeks I have: read blogs, written a little, read a little, and thought a little. I have listened and talked to people who are important in my life.

The Job of Cooking #7 - Substitutions

2008-02-12T10:28:00.002-05:00

(Click on the logo above for an explanation of this feature of Daddy's Roses.)

Here are three general substitution suggestions:

1. If a recipe calls for wine and you don't have it on hand or prefer not to use it, you can substitute an equal amount of apple juice or water.

2. Usually you can substitute a different veggie in a casserole recipe. Experiment and use what you have - fresh, frozen, and canned are pretty much interchangeable as well.

3. Use non-fat dry milk when possible in recipes. It is low in cholesterol and is cheaper than fresh milk. It good for economy and for health!

Extra Hint: The first thing I always do when I start to prepare a meal is to fill one sink with hot soapy water. As I use utensils and pans I put them in and wash as I go along. Even with a dishwasher it helps to have the cooking mess cleaned up before the meal is served. It really is no trouble at all to do this -- just wash a pan while you wait for the oven to preheat, or between periods of stirring a veggie, or anytime there is 30 seconds free. Any available children (or other adults) can dry and put them up, and there is little to do after the meal. This is a good way to involve the children and establish in their minds that getting the meal ready is one of their responsibilities as a member of the family.

Sunday Seven - 44th Edition

2008-02-10T10:19:00.000-05:00

Sunday Seven

Gee - ain't life terrific?! Gee - hey, there's an idea! I'll list seven things that start with G that I am thankful for this week!

1. Grandchildren. There. I'll bet ya didn't see that one comin'!

2. Gladiolas. Actually these are probably my least favorite flower (I dislike the way florists use them to make triangular points in arrangements for church - week after week after week); however they ARE flowers and they DO start with G. So I will use them as the symbol for flowers in general. I do love flowers. Go over to Terrell's blog this AM and see the beautiful early Spring pics he took after school on Friday. All the pictures are not of flowers, but all are of the natural beauty around his school building; and his captions for the pictures are poetry.

3. Glamour. I wish I had taken a picture. Our son's youngest daughter came over last night to show us the glamourous dress they had bought for the pageant she will be in later this month. Oh my! That precious little 9-year-old looked spectacular with her uncombed hair, her bare feet, and that long hot-pink glamour-dress!

4. Games. I enjoy using my mind in leisure moments. I do sudokus; I play spider solitaire and regular solitare. When our grandchildren visit, we often play speed scrabble. They love it; it is fast and fun; it is educational. What more could one ask?!

5. Green. Certain shades and instances of green are among my favorite visual treats. I love the early Spring green of new foliage on trees. I am glad I have green eyes - they are less common than blue or brown. I am glad ONE of our children and ONE of our grandchildren also has green eyes like me and my Mother. I have to confess I also love the blue eyes that all the rest of our children and grandchildren have -- and when I was I child I wished for those beautiful dark brown ones!

6. Grace. This virtue defined as "the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful" seems to have become relatively rare in our society, but what a joy it is when it is unexpectedly encountered in the course of our daily lives!

7. How could I possibly wait until number 7 to mention #1? Of course the ultimate blessing in life is our GOD: the Lover of My Soul, The Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Father Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, My Lord.

I Am Mentally Ill

2008-02-08T18:03:00.000-05:00

See this calm and relatively-normal-looking (?) image? the appearance of normalcy is misleading. I am mentally ill.

What other explanation can there be? Why else would a retired person wake up at 2:00 AM and be unable to go back to sleep? Was something hurting me? No. Was I worrying about the health of some family member? No. Was I trying to make a difficult decision? No. Was I worrying about the future of our great nation or the outcome of the upcoming presidential election? No. I was not even fixated on the massive amount of housecleaning and organizing that needs doing here in my daily domain.

My mind, that overactive ferret running around and around on its exercise wheel, refused to let me sleep. In spite of all my admonitions and efforts to stop the wheel, it continued rotating. It replayed and analyzed again and again several recent word-formation-related communications and planned a lesson on the value of good Language Arts instruction. I rest my case; I am resigned to the diagnosis - definitely some form of mental illness.

If you, like students sometimes complain, think that there is no practical use for the grammar instruction given in public schools; if you think that it doesn't matter whether you can identify a noun or verb; if you think that studying word stems, prefixes, and suffixes is "busy work", my ferret mind begs to differ with you. Here is one example - the one that looped endlessly through my mind last night.

My mother had her decennial colonoscopy Tuesday. Among the doctor's post-examination comments was this: "She has a very healthy colon with a moderate amount of diverticulosis." I had never studied this medical concept; but I knew what he was talking about because I understand how our language is structured. Here are the language arts skills involved in understanding that communication.

1. Listening. Yes, listening is one of the four "language arts." Good language arts teachers teach all four of the arts - two for dispensing language (writing and speaking) and two for receiving language (reading and listening.) Because of good language arts skills and understandings, I heard the word "diverticulosis." Many people would have heard the more commonly heard word "diverticulitis." There is significant difference.

2. An undertanding of root words and affixes. The words "diverticulum, diverticulosis, and diverticulitis" all start with the word "divert" (to turn away). The word divert is composed of the root word "-vert" which means "turn" and the prefix "di-" meaning "away."

3. An understanding of root words and affixes II. I knew that the word diverticulum comes from the same base as the word divert (to turn away); therefore, in a medical context it must mean a place where contour of a hollow organ is diverted from its usual form.

4. An understanding of root words and affixes III. Because of good understanding of how affixes determine word meaning, I knew that the suffix "-osis" is a medical suffix that indicates the "condition or existence of." So I knew that diverticulosis meant that a diverticulum, or several, exists in her colon. (The suffix "-itis", on the other hand, means "inflamation of." Her diverticula were NOT inflamed.) Total aside: I know how plurals of Latin-based nouns are formed - diverticulum/diverticula.

So I knew, without conscious analysis and without effort, that my mother has some stretched out areas in her colon, but that they are minor and are not inflamed or infected. The value of good language understanding is that this kind of effortless communication (of language received through listening or reading) occurs many times every day and makes like easier.

I am quite aware that this is over-analysis; but it illustrates how gaining a good understanding of language arts, especially when that understanding becomes part of a person early in life, helps one interpret more easily and accurately what he/she hears and reads. My point is that, since language exists for the purpose of communication, one becomes a much better communicator through an understanding of our language structure.

Okay, now that I have that down in writing, perhaps my ferret-brain will let me sleep tonight!

Thursday Thirteen - Edition 59

2008-02-07T18:22:00.000-05:00

Thirteen of my favorite mystery writers - in no particular order

1. John Patterson. This is no surprise to any mystery lover. I would guess that he holds the distinction of being the most loved/read mystery writer of our times. I usually read books after they make it into the used paperback book stores, so I haven't read the two that are on the best seller lists right now. His books usually feature Alex Cross, a psychologist who works with the police. Two of the best ones of his that I have read recently are: Cross and Judge and Jury. I am waiting for 6th Target and Double Cross.

2. Mariah Stewart. She writes series of books. She had the "Dead" series: Dead Certain, Dead Wrong, etc. She wrote the "Truth" series: Hard Truth, Cold Truth, etc. She is currently writing the "Last" series: Last Words and Last Look, which is on the best-seller list now. I thoroughly enjoyed the unusual premise of Last Words. I am looking forward to reading Last Look.

3. Harlan Coben. This author's books vary immensely. Several I have really enjoyed; others seem pretty mediocre. I enjoy the ones with the sports agent, Myron Bolitar, as the main character. Deal Breaker and Promise Me were very interesting. Sometimes Coben allows crudity of language to become distracting and detrimental. It was minimal in these novels. I just finished The Innocent today. I am waiting to read The Woods, published in 2007.

4. Iris Johanssen. Ms Johannsen's novels usually feature a forensic sculptor, Eve Duncan. The best one I have read recently is On the Run. I am waiting for Stalemate, published in 2007.

5. Lisa Gardner. many of her books are similarly titled - "The" followed by an adjective and noun: The Perfect Husband, The Killing Hour, The Other Daughter, etc. My favorite so far is The Killing Hour. I am waiting for Hide.

6. Mary Higgins Clark. Everybody knows MHC. The most recent one I have read is I Heard That Song Before.

7. Janet Evanovich. I should have listed this one first. JE writes light mystery containing lots of humor along with the mystery. Her main characters feel like friends - Stephanie Plum, her protagonist, is a bond enforcement officer with two boyfriends, Joe Marino and Ranger. Her family and friends figure into the stories to the point that the reader comes to know Lula, Grandma Mazur and others. I buy these new if need be in order to read them ASAP. Janet Evanovich also has written some romances which pale by comparison to the Stephanie Plum books. I also thought that her two most recent ones, Plum Lovin' and Plum Lucky were sub-par. Her numbered series, One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly, etc. are by far the best. Number 13, Lean Mean Thirteen, is her most current of the series.

8. Tami Hoag. She is also inconsistent. Sometimes her books are great; other times just so-so. Dust to Dust was good.

9. Lisa Scottoline. I discovered this author late. I enjoyed Daddy's Girl, Devil's Corner, and Dirty Blond. Her most recent, Courting Trouble, was not as good as her usual. Her mysteries are based on law and court proceedings.

10. Jonathan Kellerman. I get tired of his books if I read too many too close together. The ones he writes with his wife, Faye, have not been as interesting to me.

11. Linda Fairstein. Good general mysteries. The Kills was one of her best.

12. Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb. She is a longstanding author who has written numerous books under each of these names. She also writes romances. I didn't care for the MacGregor series at all; but I liked several of her other efforts.

13. Robert Tannenbaum. I got hooked on Tannenbaum when I read one with amazing vocabulary. Later reads seemed altogether different.

There are so many others: Ed McBain, John Sandford, Brad Meltzer, Nevada Barr, Dean Koontz, Greg Iles, John Grisham, Sue Grafton, Nelson DeMille, and Rose Conners, to name a few.