Songs of the Closet

Making a List, Checking it Twice.

2009-11-04T11:26:00.004-06:00

Nope...not for Santa.
Not even for Christmas.

We're making a list of items we'll need to bring to the hospital with us when "the moment" arrives. Our classes at the hospital and some literature have given us a good start, but I'm always impressed with the advice that I glean from my blog-o-rrific experienced moms. Therefore, I'm opening up the floor. What did YOU bring to the hospital? OR, what do you WISH you had brought to the hospital with you?

First item on my list:

Yep- sometimes that smell gets me through the day.

Halloween Hero

2009-11-02T09:58:00.000-06:00

Ever since Captain Chesley Sullenberger landed his U.S. Airways plane IN the Hudson river saving all passengers on board, Chris has had a bit of a man-crush on the pilot. And for the better part of the year, he's been looking forward to sporting a "Sully" costume. I thought I'd be able to enjoy one more halloween without worrying about crafting a costume, but it turns out that husbands need help too...

I may be biased, but I think it turned out pretty cute. :)

Decked out in pilot duds, minus the facial hair.

His whole demeanor changed by adding the mustache...

The View from the Top.

2009-10-25T16:59:00.003-05:00

Hello, belly.
I'll see you again soon, feet.

:)

One.

2009-10-23T16:50:00.000-05:00

One life.
One blood.
One life,
You got to do what you should.
One life
With each other.
Sisters,
Brothers.
One life
But we're not the same.
We get to
Carry each other,
Carry each other.

One....life.

Enjoy the concert from above, Deez. We love you.

The Rebel and Me.

2009-10-23T00:06:00.000-05:00

Just bought a new toy today...a brand-spankin' new Canon Rebel XS digital camera. As you can imagine, we'll be taking quite a few pictures in the near future, and the point-n-shoot just wasn't cutting it in the quality department. Until our photogenic little one arrives, I'll be practicing on the beautiful Duluthian fall foliage. Hopefully it will stop snowing long enough for me to get a few good shots.

Oh, and if you're within proximity of my lens, don't be surprised if you become the subject of my impromptu photo shoot. Just work it.

Don't Leave Me Alone With Myself.

2009-10-22T23:37:00.002-05:00

Howdy-ho, partners.

The house is dark, I've completed my essential Thursday-night television viewing, and am now sitting down to pen some thoughts- which will hopefully be coherent despite my tiredness and a determined baby pressing against my belly.

Have you ever felt vulnerable? Of course you have...it's part of the human condition, and a challenging reality when it comes to the spiritual dimension. Vulnerable, that is, to attacks from the devil himself. I figured out my open door to these attacks a while back, and still struggle with keeping that door closed.

It happens when I'm alone for too long. Don't get me wrong...I've never considered myself to be of the co-dependent sort. But I can very easily let my thoughts snowball until I'm a weepy, sobbing mess. And I know that I can consciously stop that from happening, but often choose not to let Jesus fight that battle for me. It's just easier surrendering to sorrow.

Add into that mix a slew of gestational hormones and, well, I can be quite a wreck.

Chris is away at a conference this week, so I decided to combat the lonely-heart blues by surrounding myself with lots of distractions. I went to Moorhead for a couple days to hang out with Chris' family, a visit that was long overdue. Then I picked up my good friend Karen from CA, who will be staying with me for a week. All of this to avoid the inevitable meltdown.

Most importantly, I'm walking with Jesus on a minute-by-minute basis, and reminding myself that I'm never really alone.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Phil 4:7

Showered With Love

2009-10-18T09:36:00.000-05:00

Ok....a little retroactive blogging is necessary. At the beginning of September, I flew out to Stockton for a couple days to enjoy some family time and a baby shower given by my mom and friends. It was really an incredible event- and I was especially blessed by those who traveled from out of town to be there (and a special appearance by my dad and brother made it complete). Lots of fun, GREAT food (I've been thinking of installing a perpetual chocolate fountain at my home to satisfy the fruit/chocolate cravings...) and a ton of love directed at this new little girl soon to arrive. I went home with a suitcase FULL of clothes and a heart full of joy.

Chocolate fountain heaven.

My beautiful mother (soon to be grandma!) and I. (Note the super cool diaper cake from Grandma Marcia in Minnesota!)

Party helpers and amazing friends.

The fabulous planning committee and my preggo self.

Sportin' the belly.

The whole shebang.

Just a sample of Baby Stavenger's adorable new wardrobe :)

This clothesline of sweetness was sent from my dear friend Stephanie...and there was another line of goodies in the box!

Hmmm....what to do with the leftover chocolate!?

Remembering Derek.

2009-10-15T17:11:00.004-05:00

I'm home safe and sound after spending about three weeks in California. Chris and I were fortunate to arrive just before Derek lost most communication ability, and even got a "love you" to hold in my heart. It was an extraordinarily difficult trip, but being with my family at this time was irreplaceable.

Many friends and family turned out to honor Derek's life at the Memorial service on Saturday. So many, in fact, that the church was nearly full! What a tribute to his life and impact on others. The following video was played at the conclusion of the service, a beautiful remembrance of his too-short time here.

Derek Petersen (ws) from Dan Baer on Vimeo.

Now that life has returned to (a new) normal, I have every intention of returning to my regular blogging...and there is lots to tell! Stay tuned for a barrage of pictures and news from the Stavengers!

Family.

2009-09-15T14:34:00.002-05:00

I have the best.

Beware: Loaded Question.

2009-09-15T13:31:00.003-05:00

"How are you doing?"
I haven't been able to come up with a satisfactory response to this question, though I'm asked it on a regular basis. An emphatic "good!" seems a little inappropriate, but the less excited "good" invites a lengthy explanation. So, I usually stick with "okay," and hope people understand the delicate balance of my current state of emotions.

I've been a little pithy on this blog lately, and it's not because I'm avoiding my family circumstances. I think my mom has done an excellent job of keeping Derek's blog and updates as current as possible, so I've refrained from repeating it here. As you can imagine, I'm experiencing highs and lows like you wouldn't believe. The confusion, then, over whether to keep this blog a happy, sunshiny retreat or an honest outpouring of my soul has caused my blogging step to slow a bit. I'm trying to find an appropriate balance of the two.

Today, I'll answer the "how are you doing" question as honestly as I can, in hopes that this post gives you a glimpse into the trials and triumphs in my life.

Physically- I'm great! Pregnancy has treated me well (thank you, Lord!) and I have had no morning sickness or complications to date. I feel our baby girl kicking on a regular basis and am even starting to track her sleep schedule. Next week will mark 28 weeks, the beginning of our final trimester! And, though I have a glucose test and am having some dental work done, I'm excited about plowing ahead toward the finish line.

Emotionally- It's been a rough road. I'd like to attribute my emotional duress to crazy pregnancy hormones, but unfortunately I know that most outbursts have been justified. "For better or for worse" has paid off, as Chris has had to comfort me after many nights full of tears. The urge to be with my family is overwhelming at times, and is often strongest AFTER visits at home. I feel like the babysitter who hands the crying baby back to the parents and gets to leave. Their lives, however, are consumed with all the medical details- from which there really is no retreat. It's because of this that I ache for my brother, my mom and my dad, and wish I could be there with them.

Spiritually- I'm exercising hope like never before. Sometimes it feels like an empty word. At other times, it's the only thing that keeps us going. I am acutely aware that the timing of our pregnancy and Derek's diagnosis was not a coincidence. Selfishly, I wish that our good baby news could eclipse the sorrow and anxiety being experienced on the other side of the pendulum. In reality, it doesn't balance out at all. No baby should have that burden anyway- and that's where Jesus takes over. Every day I have messages from friends telling me their prayers are with us, and I hope that's true. We need them, and our healing God, more than ever.

So, that about sums it up. Maybe soon I'll be at a place where I don't tear up a little when asked that question.

Don't Judge Me. I'm Pregnant.

2009-09-08T12:23:00.005-05:00

Lately, I've been thinking about getting a job in a tire store.
Or a shoe store.
Or a floormat-making factory.
And, though tennis is out-of-the-question for me right now, I wouldn't mind picking up a few dozen cans of new tennis balls.

Call it a weird pregnancy quirk, but I'm currently obsessed with the smell of rubber.
I've considered having my baby shower moved to the local Payless Shoe Source.
I've left Chris alone in Home Depot so I could stand in the rugs and mats aisle for a while.
I've thought about finding a quiet corner at the Goodyear store to sit and read.
And I adore picking up a coffee at the local grocery store, because right next to the pick-up counter, there is a display of welcome mats that smell like heaven.

Screw the coffee, give me a floormat!
And if you're coming to my baby shower, you might want to bypass the cute little fleece sleeper and bring me a can of tennis balls instead. I'll be your best friend.

Anyone want to pop open a can of Wilsons right now with me, or am I crazy?

Website Love

2009-08-31T11:12:00.002-05:00

Here's a breezy couple of website recommendations for you, if you're looking to kill a little time. The first, and more practical of the two, is called "Leftover Chef". If you're like me, you let your cupboards dwindle down to nearly nothing before going grocery shopping. This site lets you type in the few random items you may have left, and it directs you to recipes you may be able to use! So if you're wondering what to make with that random can of pumpkin pie filling that's been sitting there for ages...check it out!

The second, and more entertaining of the two, is a site called "F My Life". (If you're wondering what the F may stand for, I won't elaborate...but think the worst.) I recommend this cautiously knowing that some of the content may not be suitable for all audiences, but basically, people leave short quips about horrible/ironic things that happened to them today. Some of them are pretty funny. Here are a few of my recent favorites:

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realize I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

There you go...enjoy your web perusing today.
Any favorite sites to add?

The Bump is Here to Stay!

2009-08-21T14:53:00.003-05:00

Okay...I'm now at nearly 24 weeks. That's 6 months, people! And, for six months, I've managed to avoid the baby bump documentation. There hasn't really been much to see. Then, it seemed like I grew overnight! Here's the proof:

In case you missed that, here's a closer look:

If you look REALLY hard, you can probably see her kicking. I'm convinced this baby is going to kick her way out like a little ninja. Get ready, world! Other than what seems like CONSTANT movement in my belly, I've been feeling great!

(This maternity update is sponsored by Julie, who sent me a huge box of preggo-wear to add to my wardrobe. They've been put to use, girl...thank you!)

The Wicked World of Registries.

2009-08-18T13:52:00.004-05:00

I'm not gonna lie...
The only reason I'm writing this post is because I'm delaying having to work on my online baby registry.

I HATE registries. Not the idea of the registry itself, but the process of inputting all the items and having to visualize EVERYTHING I need all at one time. My brain doesn't work that way. I hated the wedding registry, and I hate the baby registry just as much.

I realize this puts me in a rare and confusing category of women, right alongside those girls who don't like shoe shopping, or those girls that didn't cry at "The Notebook". (All true about me.)

I suppose registering for gifts would be semi-tolerable if I didn't live in Duluth, where the jenky shopping options leave little to be desired. Couple that with having showers in CA and MN, and the challenge of finding someplace that both states share, and my options narrow to one: Target. This caused the following chain of events:

1) Jamie starts registry online with Target. They don't carry our bedding or accessories, but I'll deal. Weeding out the "online only" items proved too big a task; we visited the local store instead.

2) Chris takes hold of the registry gun (with my supervision), but we are sorely disappointed with the half-empty shelves in the baby section. We find about half the necessary items. While my back is turned, Chris adds a baby Vikings jersey to our registry.

3) Chris deletes the baby Vikings jersey while Jamie watches.

4) Jamie gets back on the computer and finishes the online registry after hours of sifting through products.

5) Jamie discovers that our bedding and accessories, as well as EVERYTHING we registered for at Target is available at Bed, Bath, and Beyond! Stockton and Fargo both have this store....SCORE!

6) Jamie transfers the entire Target registry to Bed, Bath and Beyond. After deleting the Target registry, discovers that NO B,B&B actually carries baby products in store. Must now RE-REGISTER at Target.

This is currently where I am in the registry process. And after ALL of that, I still had to register at Babies R Us for a few incidentals. Hopefully our next child will be a girl so I NEVER HAVE TO REGISTER AGAIN!!

A-Shopping We Will Go.

2009-08-13T12:59:00.003-05:00

I'm not exactly decking my halls with boughs of holly yet, but I am getting a jump-start on my Christmas shopping. Those of you with children are familiar with the substantial drop in energy that comes with the end of pregnancy, and if it's anything like trimester one for me, I'm screwed. Unless we get the thing up by Thanksgiving, Chris will likely be decorating the Christmas tree by himself, with his whale-of-a-wife barking orders at him from the couch. I can contribute to a stress-free holiday season by getting some things out of the way now. Online shopping is a godsend.

So I'm wondering, are you an online shopper? If so, what fun sites do you recommend?

It's Getting Hot In Here!

2009-08-12T20:20:00.003-05:00

Summer finally decided to arrive in Duluth! Today it hit the mid-eighties, far warmer than it's been all summer. Unfortunately, when this settles in to our non-air-conditioned house (wrap your brain around THAT one, Californians!), it's pretty miserable! I got out of the house today to run errands, but found it too warm to bake the cake I'd like to make, or assemble shelving for the baby's room (meh- I should leave that for the man of the house, anyway!). I finally chose some paint colors for the nursery, and will be undertaking that project soon (pictures to come!).

I must thank you for your encouragement and support over the last few days. Many of you are following Derek's updates on my mom's blog, DEEZCENTRAL, and the information is kept up-to-date. This week was a major setback, but we have much faith that God is working in Derek's body and through his skilled doctors. I have received e-mails, phone calls, and even hugs from nearby friends and family...all incredibly uplifting and a constant reminder of God's provision. My friends in Stockton have been CHAMPIONS, essentially becoming my hands and feet on the west coast, making food runs, delivering birthday wishes, and staying bedside at the hospital in my absence. There is no doubt Derek feels VERY loved!

Faith in the Storm.

2009-08-10T07:07:00.002-05:00

Dear God,
You woke me up with your thunder.
It sounded as if the night sky split in two.
So loud, it shook me to the bone.
So loud, it startled even the native Minnesotans :)
My baby started kicking. Did it wake her, too?

And then I thought,
surely the God who controls the thunder,
the God who knows my child better than I do,
a God of infinite power and love
can touch my brother's body and heal him.

Lord, COME in your healing power.
Restore health to sick cells.
Show us again what your mighty hands can do!

Crisis Averted.

2009-08-04T14:06:00.002-05:00

Don't you love it when things go unexpectedly easily?
It doesn't happen often.
But when it does, I feel like running around the house cheering.

I thought returning to subbing would be a process steeped in paperwork.
Because of all that's happened in life and family recently, I didn't complete one of the requirements to renew my Full-Time teaching license.
This meant going back to the less-than-cooperative Department of Education to see what to do with my lapsed license.
Hopefully it wouldn't delay my employment this fall.

Good news...
The license I applied for previous to the Full-Time License (Short-Call Substitute) did not expire like I thought, but is good through this school year, too!
One little refresher orientation, and I'm good to go for fall employment!

Ahhhhh....you can probably feel my sigh of relief through your computer screen. :)

It's Birthday Week!

2009-08-03T18:55:00.002-05:00

Not mine...but half my family!

Today, I celebrate my beautiful mother, and on Wednesday, I thank God for my courageous brother (not that I don't celebrate them both ALL the time...). I love you, Mom AND Dizzle, and wish you MANY, MANY more birthdays!

Head on over to DEEZCENTRAL and wish them a very happy birthday!

Date Night Comedy

2009-07-30T11:10:00.002-05:00

Chris and I had a super-fun, spur-of-the-moment date last Friday when we picked up tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld in Duluth. As you can imagine, Duluth isn't exactly a mecca for quality entertainment, so when a "big name" rolls into town, it's quite a treat! (For example, Duluthians are still talking about George Clooney's stay at the Sheridan on his promo tour for "Leatherheads".) Thursday night, we got some tickets at last-minute prices (score!), but that didn't come without some headache later. After Seinfeld started his routine, a lady in the aisle was claiming the gentlemen next to us were in her seats. They, in turn, claimed that WE were in THEIR seats. After 5 minutes of whispered debate, and involving an usher with a flashlight, we determined that our seats were double-sold...and the usher quickly escorted the woman to another empty seat. The bummer of that whole scenario was that we missed a good portion of the opening.

Despite the hubbub, we really enjoyed the show. And, I must say that it's not often you can find comedy acts that are pretty "clean" these days. I appreciated that aspect of his routine, and it didn't hinder the hilarity...both of us had sore stomach muscles from laughing! Definitely catch the act if it swings by you!

Summer Reading

2009-07-29T13:48:00.004-05:00

With lots of spare time on my hands, I've picked up a few books lately and have been making my way through them. Some are better than others, but all have captured my interest in different ways. My favorite time of day is hopping into bed early and reading for a while next to Chris (he has started reading the "Left Behind" books, a series I read through years ago and have been collecting dust on my shelf). I just finished up my last book, so I'm open to any suggestions you may have! (I'll spare you the reviews on these unless you're interested, though I will say that "Firefly Lane" was by far my favorite of the bunch.)

Your recommendations?

A Little Jelly on the Belly.

2009-07-27T13:16:00.003-05:00

It's amazing what technology can do! Our ultrasound tech started in 1977- the year I was born- when ultrasounds were new technology. My mom remembers having a picture of a black and white blob taken of me. Today was our 20-week appointment, and boy have times changed! We were fortunate to take home a whole reel of 4-D pictures of our little one. (I've posted some of the best ones.)

And, speaking of little one, we are now relatively certain that it's a GIRL! And you'll be happy to know she was VERY cooperative for the camera...

Fists up- not too sure about being poked around like this!

A yawn or a swallow.

Already a snuggler.

That's a hand to the right...not a piece of pizza.

All tuckered out from her first photo session. Good night!

Baby-Moon Accomplished!

2009-07-25T22:00:00.010-05:00

Chris and I have been planning our Laguna Beach getaway since before we knew we were preggo...but it made for a nice "last hurrah" with regards to childless R&R vacations. Here's a few snapshots from our trip:

We stayed at the beautiful Laguna Cliffs Marriott (and had a fantastic stay...we highly recommend it for your next trip!) in Dana Point.

They allowed us a very early check-in. Consequently, we were able to nap a bit before cruising the beach city. This is Chris- literally- ten minutes after getting to the room.

All refreshed, we walked down to the wharf and enjoyed some pizza and the sunset.

On day two, some of our favorite friends (and kiddos) came down to spend the day with us! This is our buddy, Kaden, and his sister Kaelyn- our cutie flowergirl.

The weather was absolutely beautiful, so we took advantage of the sun and enjoyed lots of pool-time!

We were all entertained by Kaden's circus antics...especially Kaden!

The aftermath of our pool fun was not pretty...

...but I had lots of good company to ease the pain!

After sleeping in, nursing sunburns and driving around town, we concluded our vacation with a trip to my old digs- Long Beach- where many old pals joined us for dinner/coffee. It was SO great to see all of you (I know you aren't all pictured here...) and I'm so thankful for our friendship, even across many miles.

Here Comes the Bride!

2009-07-23T13:59:00.002-05:00

Super duper extra brownie points for creativity!

I think our wedding party could have definitely pulled that off (though Stephen probably would have stolen the show...)

Grin and Bear It.

2009-07-23T11:04:00.002-05:00

Chris and I had a challenging night of sleep.
(Before you say "get used to it", I KNOW.)

First: I have been feeling the beginning "kicks" in my tummy, and our kiddo was very active last night, kicking me 7 or 8 times in a row. I thought that warranted a wake-up call to Chris (who wasn't asleep yet). He, of course, was excited and put his hand on my stomach to see if he could feel any. However, baby was tired out and didn't give dad the satisfaction. So, we both went to sleep.

Later: I woke up to the sound of crunching and cracking. The sound was coming from right below our bedroom window (which was open for cool air). I thought it might be a raccoon or deer, so I got up to check it out. At that time, our neighbor's back porch light came on and I saw a huge black bear run across our backyard! This DEFINITELY warranted a wake-up for Chris! This is the conversation that took place:

Me: A bear is in our backyard!
Chris: No, there's not.
Me: Yes! I just saw it!
Chris: Are you sure it was a bear?
Me: What other animal could I possibly mistake for a BEAR?!
Chris: (gets out of bed) Where is it now?
Me: It ran toward the kitchen.
Chris: Great. I was just out there with the dog a little while ago.
Me: I'm going to check out the other side of the house.
Chris: Make sure you close the windows so it doesn't jump inside!

EARLY MORNING: We had a return of the cat that cries near our backyard. This cat will bust out her monotonous whine for HOURS. The only reason she is still alive is because we don't own a gun.