Petite Flower

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving!

2009-11-16T10:33:00.009-06:00

Before I jump into my Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving, I just wanted to give a little link to an artist my next door neighbor affectionately refers to as Robot Girl. Since 3 out of 5 of my comments mentioned how much they loved the robot paintings, I figured I'd pass along her website so you can crawl through all her robot paintings as well as her other series. Enjoy!

Now on to my Turkey Day. Being married to a pilot sometimes means you need to be flexible. The Captain works a lot of holidays so some years we have to get creative. So yesterday, we had our Thanksgiving. We had The Pirate, AC and h around our table and it actually seemed like the real deal! The entire day actually felt like a holiday.

I got up early and went for a 5 mile walk/run to the river and back. The sun was out, the air was crisp and due to work schedules and just life in general getting in the way, it was only my second workout of the week so it felt GREAT to get out!!!

When I got back, I grabbed a quick shower and cleaned up the house a bit while The Captain's busywork filled the house with the delightful scent of cooking turkey.

I whipped up some AWESOME pear/beet/cranberry chutney to go with my turkey. YUM!
As usual, there was much goofing off, laughter and merriment.
And soon it was time to eat.
We all went around the table and said what we were thankful for and raised our glasses again and again.
And then we dug in. How delicious does THAT look?

Everyone enthusiastically enjoyed dinner.............well.............some more than others!
After dinner, we went for our traditional post holiday meal walk around the block in some lame attempt to make us all feel a little less like gluttonous pigs.
On the way back into the house, I admired the planter that I recently arranged with evergreen tree tops and dogwood branches. It looks festive, don't you think? I'm quite certain it's only a matter of time until I kill it all.
Then, it was time for my world famous, too good to be true, pumpkin pecan cheesecake which I make every year. It is disgustingly delicious.

We watched football (the Lions AND Dallas both had games so it REALLY seemed like actual Thanksgiving) and we talked and laughed and ate and joked and mocked and played dominos. It was a great holiday spent with great friends.

Now for the sucky part. I drank. Yep. I broke my GADO all in the name of living my life and enjoying the day and I totally regret it!! I drank quite a lot actually but I realized something today. It occurred to me that at no point during the evening, did I think to myself, "Hey, maybe I've had enough. Maybe I should switch to water. Perhaps I DON'T need to keep refilling my glass over and over and over." And that is not ok with me. The fact that the thought of dialing it back didn't even pop into my brain is very concerning to me and I believe this little flower has some serious thinking to do. On the plus side, it's good to realize these things and learn from my choices. Life is a journey and I'm forever making progress. This is no different. And though I drank too much, I'm forgiving myself and just moving forward. I will not punish myself and that in and of itself is some pretty good progress.

The GADO, of course, is back in full swing until Thanksgiving and we may just be giving it a nice long extension until I've had a chance to really sort through some of this stuff. Yes indeedy.

And so there you have it! I have roughly just under two weeks until race day and it's time to focus kids. And onward we go.................

Pimp My Blog: The Artsy Version

2009-11-14T09:30:00.011-06:00

Friday night I headed over to Minneapolis to the Casket Arts building for my next door neighbor Marisa's art show. Before I get to the show, I have to tell you that the Casket Arts building is AMAZING!!! It is one of those fabulous old buildings with vaulted ceilings and creaky wood floors and exposed brick walls and yep....you guessed it....they used to make caskets there. It was gorgous! Now it is studio space for artists and every once in a while, they throw open the whole building so the artists can show off their work and hopefully, sell some of it.

Marisa makes jewelry and I've already purchased a pair of her earrings which I love so I went to go check out her stuff.
meztiza designs by marisa martinez

I loved her studio and I especially loved seeing all the materials and equipment she uses to work. She promised that sometime I could come by while she was working to see her in action. That will be SO COOL! And most likely, I'll offer to photograph her as she works. I'm guessing she may not have many pics of her in action.

Below is the necklace I chose to buy from Marisa. It is from her Milagro series and I loved the skull. It goes well with my ass kicking attitude!

Next, I headed off to see some of the other artists. BIG mistake! I found so many cool things that just reached out and grabbed me and I spent more money than I was planning on. But rather than thinking of it as being reckless with my money, I have chosen to look it as stimulating the economy and supporting local artists. That's a good way to think about it, don't you????

I purchased these really cool belt buckles made of glass that came with a really nice leather belt that just happens to go with boots I bought last week. (You see how I was powerless to resist?!)

Then I bought this necklace after an entire group of women told me how fabulous it looked on me and how it just totally MADE my outfit and that I just HAD to have it. And they weren't working there or trying to sell me anything either. I was a little floored by it all and before I knew what happened, out came my debit card. Whoops.

It makes a fun jingly sound when the medalions clink together. I think I seriously love it.

There were things there I DIDN'T buy. I particularly loved these robot paintings, I found them whimical and adorable and I loved the colors she used.

And for some reason I fell in love with the stairways in this building. It's shit like this that really revs me up and makes me wish I had my big gear so I could shoot it right. But this is what I got with my point and shoot.

Well, that's it for now folks.

CHALLENGE!!!

2009-11-13T10:31:00.004-06:00

Ok all you readers out there. I, the Petitest of ALL the Flowers am throwing out a CHALLENGE! I am taking my long, black, leather gloves and slapping you (WHAP!) across first one side of your face and then (WHAP!) the other.

Whachagonnadoaboutitpunk?

I hereby challenge you to complete a race, one official race of any distance, before January 3rd, 2010. I don’t care if you can’t run, (most races have a walking option anyway) I don’t care if you run like the wind! I don’t care if you race a 5K, a 10K, a half marathon or a full blown 26 miles and I sure as hell don’t care how fast a time you bank. All I care is that you DO it!

Get up off your ass, get up out of your comfort zone and get your race on!

Two years ago, I made it a goal to race one 5K a month for all 12 months in 2008. I completed 9 races. Not quite the 12 I hoped for but not too shabby for my first official year running. Of course I blogged about them all, being the ginormous loud mouth that I am!

Jan: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/01/frigid-5.html
Jan: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/01/happy-new-year.html
March: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/03/race-day.html
April: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/04/running-of-pigs.html
May: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/05/pink-and-purple-kick-some-ass.html
June: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/06/5k-race-results.html
Sept: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/09/race-day.html
Nov: http://petiteflower.blogspot.com/2008/11/5k-on-turkey-day.html

Seriously peeps, when I started running I was going at it one block at a time. Run a block, walk a block, run a block, walk a block. Then it was run two blocks, walk one block. Then three, then four, then I was running one mile, two miles, three miles. It was an amazing adventure! To take up running at the tender age of 38 was just fantastic and it was a while before I felt comfortable calling myself a runner, but I AM a runner now! I'm still slow. I still get tired and stop and walk. It doesn't matter. I am a runner because I run.

I will be completing a 10K on Turkey Day this year in Cincinnati with loads of my family at my side. What a great way to work off those holiday treats. And Thanksgiving is a GREAT time to find a race, they are everywhere! So everyone.............OFF YER DUFFS! Let's get racing.

Now who's with me????????????

Yogahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Why did I leave you?

2009-11-11T09:33:00.002-06:00

In addition to all this weight loss, body image craziness that has been going on with me this week, (and we WILL get back to that....of that you can be sure) something else rather heavy has been on my mind...............I KNOW! How do I cram it all in my petite head? The mind reels!

But this past weekend, I had a long conversation with my Momma. My awesome, wonderful, funny, smart, loving, supportive ROCK STAR of a mother! All you bitches should be WAY jealous, because THIS flower won the lottery when it came to Momma's! That's fo sho! (Oh sure, I had to share my winnings with two OTHER people; my sisters, but they don't bogart her much so it's all good!)

Anyhoo, we were talking about my tendency to hate everyone I've never met, perhaps because I was talking to her while I was at The Targhetto near my house and I was bitching about how the lady behind me was totally up my shit, crowding me in line, bumping her cart into my ass, getting her things next to my things on the conveyor belt, I mean THE NERVE! Given all of those heinous crimes, OF COURSE I hated her! That's me. Crowd me? I hate you. Cut me off in traffic? I REALLY hate you. In front of me and moving slower than I'd like (which by the way seems to be EVERY being on the planet) and I begin actively plotting your death! Not a really attractive quality, I know. One that sort of bothers my mom I think, especially the older she gets.

The rational me knows that I have NO IDEA what those people's days have been like. Maybe that person who is annoying the crap out of me just got dumped or fired or maybe their dog just died. Maybe they just found out they have cancer and have 3 weeks to live. Everyone deserves patience and kindness even if they are completely different from me in every way. Even if they are slow or annoying or obnoxious. My heart tells me that I should be nice to everybody. I get it. But for whatever reason, when I am out in the world encountering people, my heart is cowering under a rock somewhere while the rest of me goes on a rampage. I'm never outright mean, I don't talk to people and tell them how horribly they are getting in my way or making my day a big pile of shit. I don't flip them off from the car window as I go speeding by. Hell, I don't even want them to see me roll my eyes lest they get an inkling of how much I loathe them. But on the inside? On the inside everything I have is screaming out loud...just not so anyone can hear.

During the course of my conversation with my Momma, she tells me that what she does is to treat everyone she encounters like they might be Jesus in disguise, that way, you can't go wrong. A little history about my Mom, I would say she is more spiritual than religious but she did grow up Catholic, VERY Catholic as a matter of fact and has kind of ebbed and flowed when it came to her faith. I think its more of an internal thing for her, meaning she doesn't go to church EVERY week, but I know she goes, still goes to confession from time to time, has tons of fun and funky Catholic art around the house, says her prayers on a daily basis, etc. She's religious, but not RELIGIOUS if you know what I mean. Even so, she's leaps and BOUNDS above this doubting Flower. I won't even get into my long standing struggles with faith here people. But I know that when my mom is saying that she looks at other people like they may be Jesus, I know that she actually believes it. There is probably a hint of humor in there for her, but that is how she looks at it and that is what helps her.

I started thinking about my attitude towards others as I have done on many prior occasions. I started thinking that in the past I had tried to make a conscious effort to be kinder, more patient, more tolerant of those I share this planet with, but that it only lasted a brief while and I was right back to my old ways. In fact, I was thinking about how I might just be a hopeless case in this area, when I remembered something. I remembered a brief period of time where I actually WAS being more patient, more mindful of other people and how their days might be going. When was that, I wondered. It wasn't that long ago. And then I remembered..............it was when I was going to Yoga and reading articles in Yoga magazines about peace and tranquility and managing stress. During the period of time last spring, my heart actually started to change a bit, it became a bit softer, a bit more tolerant. I remember being in line at the market and NOT wanting to kill everyone. I enjoyed my time waiting with peace in my heart and it was fabulous. And then for whatever reason, I quit going to Yoga and went right back to being my old cranky self.

There's a lesson in here somewhere folks. And what might that be I wonder? GET YOUR ASS BACK TO YOGA YOU IDIOT!!!!! Oh yeah, that's it. Ommmmmmmmmmm.

I love my readers!

2009-11-10T10:11:00.006-06:00

Hey there everybody! First, I want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you that piped up and left a comment. I was amazed actually, and really appreciate all the kudos as well as the tough love. This is all stuff I need to hear in order to help me process. Wheels are definitely turning up in the old noggin (don't mind the steam coming out of the ears, that always happens when I'm hard at work a-thinking my thinks!) While still on the fence, some of your comments really made me think/react and so I'm addressing those here. You comment...you EARN some feedback in my opinion! :)

Jess,
Thank you! And I know how to maintain, being doing it for years, hence all the frustration. I think I will focus on maintaining through the holiday season though so good suggestion. I'm thinking there may still be a GADO in Jan but I am working on a revised version.

Scrumpy,
You know only TRUE friends can dish out the tough love so thank you. And you are right, I have been splurging here and there. And I have been totally half assed about counting my points and I know I'm only shooting myself in the foot by doing so. I do need to decide what I need to be at peace. It may be time to head back to yoga where peace just seems to come to me.

Liz,
Been working on that "being happy with who you are" thing for such a long time. Some days I'm good, other days I'm a mess. Sigh.

Sara,
HOORAY! A lurker comes out! I LOVE IT!!!! And I'm super flattered, thank you! A new fitness goal is where I'm headed I believe. I'll be formulating a plan for a bit and I think come 2010, we are going to put that plan into action! And again.....YAY for leaving a comment. Thanks!

FD,
Thanks for not being dead. :) Your idea, of injecting some Nazi for a spell, really got me thinking. I am thinking of another GADO in Jan/Feb with a complete switch up in how I approach everything. Oh yes, wheels are turning, ideas are being formulated. Inspiration is catching. Thank you!

TC,
Thank you my twin sister! LOVE all the flattery (as Britney says Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie More!) And you can hate me just a little as long as you love me more. ;) I think there will be a bit of maintaining, followed by a bit of HARDCORE!!! I definitely AM in a comfort zone and that will get me NOWHERE so thanks for the nudge. I gotta get the hell outta here!

Jack $hit,
Well said for continuing on! I agree with you but I think I already AM older, aren't I? :) Those last pounds are certainly proving to be stubborn as if I'm older, so I think I must be! (Isn't funny how the older we get, the farther the bar for "older" gets moved? I now say things like "Jeez, she's ONLY 60!" What happened to 30 being old? Oh yeah, I PASSED IT!!!! By 10 years now. Sheesh!

Chrissie,
Another first time commenter...........THANK YOU! Your states sound similar to my pendulum swings! I think we have the "slightly crazy" in common as well. Thanks for the kudos and right back at you for your loss!

bbubblyb,
Self love..........that elusive bitch! I've only partially mastered that so far. You are right, that really IS the main goal of this journey.

Geosomin,
Thank you. You, like some others, have mentioned going hardcore and I think I just might for a bit. I wouldn't say I'm miserable, but I do vacillate back and forth between satisfaction and dissatisfaction and that's what I need to figure out I think.

Carlos,
A fountain of input as usual! :) But thank you for the compliment! I really do appreciate it.

And so there is still much thinking to be done but here is what is swirling around in my head right now. I continue this GADO until TG. I work on simply maintaining through this holiday season, still working out and making healthy choices but allowing me to just live my life and enjoy the season. Then, in January, a new and improved HARDCORE Great American Dry Out (HCGADO). I'm thinking perhaps a shortened version decreasing from 6 weeks down to 4. No booze and really clean eating. Not NO carbs entirely but not anywhere NEAR what I'm taking in right now. A different form of exercise everyday to confuse and jump start the body. (Running one day, swimming the next, then a day with my trainer, then yoga, then an aerobics class, then whatever strikes my fancy, then a day off.) I'll see where that gets me and then just go from there. I think if I gave it one GOOD solid effort and I lost the weight, then hurrah! If I gave it one GOOD solid effort and I didn't lose the weight, then it would be easier to accept where I'm at and just focus on maintaining. So clearly some thinks being thought already and some more thinks that need a-thinking to go. Thanks again for everyone that piped up. It just means so very much to me to have you all around. The flower sends you MUCH LOVE!!!!

Slightly off topic side note: I made my own hummus on Sunday! FROM SCRATCH!! And it is DEE-LISH! Roasted red peppers and chickpeas were tossed in the blender along with some cumin, tahini (which I ALSO made....FROM SCRATCH!) lemon juice and garlic. Throw it all in the food processor and Ta-Da! Uh-HUH! So good! Been eating it either with Wheat Thins or cucumber slices. Way cheaper than store bought and better too since I can control the lemon, garlic and oil.

Adorably totally off topic but poignant side note: Cappy accidentally left his headset (which he needs for flying) on an airplane and here is why, despite all the separation and tough schedules, we still LOVE that he works for Southwest.

Typical Airlines Response: You lost your headset? Tough shit! We found a headset? Woo-Hoo! Free headset! Lucky us!

Southwest Airlines: Co-worker found the headset and turned it in to headquarters in Dallas. Headquarters contacted Cappy and said, "Hey! Guess what? Someone found your headset and turned in to us. We'll just Fed Ex that right over to you. Sound good?" And then THEY DID!!!! And not only did it arrive quickly, but it had this little note attached:

It's always sad when something's lost when what what yours is gone
And the hope that it will soon be found is what keeps us going on
And it's especially sad when what was lost simply cannot be replaced
And the anger felt when this occurs sometimes cannot be erased
Well, hope no more and start to smile for what you lost was found
And it's with much luv that it's returned to you in the style for which we're renowned
And we'd be remiss if we didn't say in one loud corporate voice
That we hope in the future when flying Southwest Airlines in your choice

And it was signed by Shelley S. Now, I realize this is the card they send to paying customers when baggage is lost, but Shelley S. didn't HAVE to include that with Cappy's lost headset but she did! And it was just a lovely little note that made us both smile and remind ourselves why we put ourselves through the frequent separations and schedules that keep Cappy away most weekends and holidays. It's because his company actually GIVES A CRAP ABOUT HIM! They think of him as part of their family and treat him accordingly. And for that we are so grateful. Southwest rocks dude. HARD!!!

2009-11-09T11:01:00.006-06:00

I am really struggling right now folks. Well, maybe struggling is the wrong word. I’m wavering, fluctuating, oscillating, vacillating, waffling, what have you. I’m on the frickin’ fence people. Here’s my damn dilemma:

On the one hand, I want to lose 15-20 pounds. I want to be at my goal. I want to wear a size 10-12. I want to prove to myself that I can get where I am trying to go. I want to celebrate that damn victory SO BAD! I want it, I want it, I WANT IT!!! Insert a good old fashioned toddler tantrum here! Oh yeah, I’m on the floor in the middle of the Target store having a full blown hissy fit, screaming, yelling, feet kicking, fists pounding, face turning purple! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!!!!

On the other hand, I want to just accept myself, to realize that I am beautiful just as I am. No one but me gives a fat rat’s ass about those extra pounds anyway. I can live a really great life full of good food and good workouts and I can be healthy and well and yes, even hot (according to some people………or so I’ve been told). All I have to do is just accept that this is where my body is happy and move the eff on. I mean, THIS isn’t bad, right?

So what gives? Why can’t I make up my damn mind? I appear to be incapable of cutting back on the carbs enough to lose the weight. (182.4 this morning). I also appear to be incapable of NOT thinking about those last few pounds enough to just be comfortable with where I’m at. DAMN the indecision! I am healthy, I eat well, plenty of fresh fruits, veggies, lean proteins, I make GOOD choices! I just also like a cookie here and there, I love my whole wheat pita chips, my potatoes, my Wheat Thins, my rice, my tortillas, my chocolate! (And my wine, when I’m drinking.) As much as I try to process through this, I seem to just be stuck. One day all gung ho about losing the weight, the next day just loving what I’ve got going on. Back and forth, back and forth. It’s maddening really.

So I could really use your input here peeps. What the hell do you have to say about it all???

Things I did on Saturday

2009-11-08T08:38:00.008-06:00

1. Went for a motorcycle ride. Ended up at this joint:

2. Took in the amazing artwork there. Seriously....take a GOOD LONG look at this painting. It's AMAZING and bizarre and fantastic! SO FAR PAST anything my imagination could conjure up, I am so bewildered by the human mind and it's ability to create.

3. Checked out the books of the artists that worked there while waiting for Vern, the piercer and studio owner.

4. Enjoyed the hell out of Vern as he replaced a seriously old piece of jewelry with something new and snappy. He was the nicest guy and even his adorable dimples were pierced. I fell in love just a little bit.
5. Rocked the hell out of my new hardware. You can't really tell from this pic but the front bead is green and the back one is silver. LOVE IT!

6. Had lunch with Cappy at Shamrocks.
7. Rode motorcycles some more, all along the Mississippi River. Took in the gorgeous and unseasonably warm weather. Marveled at all the folks enjoying the outdoors! The River Parkways and Summit Ave were just CRAWLING with people.

8. Was completely HORRIFIED by the appearance of Christmas candy out at the grocery store....ALREADY???? REALLY????? I am NOT ready for the holiday season.....not even close!

9. Had dinner with these guys, our next door neighbors Marisa and Jonah.

10. Made cheese tortilla crackers as an appetizer for the neighbors. They turned out awesome! I have no idea how many points they were. I ate them up and said the hell with counting for the day!
11. Had a lovely dinner with said neighbors at el barrio. (Not MY margerita btw. I had water and coffee.)

12. Ate the hell out of some great food with two Mexican-Americans who really knew how to order. Next shared meal, she has promised to cook for us. OH YEAH!!!!

13. Tried and LOVED a new food..........yucca. YUMMA is more like it!

14. Enjoyed every bite of warm and delicious churros with spicy chocolate dipping sauce. Went great with the coffee!

15. Enjoyed the CRAP outta my day and hit the rack before midnight for a great nights sleep.

Security, Socializing and Slacking Off

2009-11-06T11:19:00.015-06:00

Bear with me folks as I’m just a day behind here due to the senseless tragedy at Fort Hood and I’m attempting to play catch up.So Thursday night, I decided to take The Captain out to dinner. You see, crime has been up in our neighborhood and I’ve been feeling a bit unsafe lately and since I am alone so often, The Captain has been making improvements to our home so I feel a little bit better about being alone at night. What a ROCK STAR that man is! Seriously!

First, he installed a dusk to dawn light above the garage service door since garages have been getting broken into. It is now so light in our backyard at night that you could easily play 9 innings of baseball back there if you chose! Right on!

Second, he worked for two days straight to replace our old service garage door which was about as sturdy as a wet paper sack. Seriously, one swift kick delivered by a toddler with a limp would have done the trick. Now we have a steel door with two locks. Take THAT thieves! I will now sleep better at night knowing we have done everything we can to prevent a break in. Thank you Cappy. You are the mostest awesomest evah!

For dinner we headed to Salut Bar American on Grand Avenue.

Cappy had never been there before and we brought along h who has a serious THING for the fries at Salut. Below is our amuse bouche which we didn't order but they brought to us anyway. They do shit like that at Salut. You'll have to look closely, it's that tiny lump on the white plate. It was some kind of ground lamb sausage wrapped in endive. It was cold. I did not care for it, but The Captain found the bouche to be very amusing so he ate it.

H and I split a cheeseburger, I had a handful of fries and some green beans almandine. While it wasn’t exactly on plan, it wasn’t a huge blunder either, although everything was SUPER DUPER salty! Even the butter for the bread was salty and not just a little bit either, it was like SALT LICK salty! Consequently, I seem to be up a pound this morning…..wonder what that is all about……..oh wait……….maybe it’s all the SALT!!!!

I managed to get about a 4 mile run/walk in after work Thursday so I didn’t feel completely horrible about that meal but really, I should have just ordered a stinkin’ salad. Oh well. Gotta live, right?

Tonight I hit the gym right after work and had a nice hour long session on the dreadmill before my session with Mark started. It was a legs day so we did some squats and leg presses and we did some kicking! Always good to channel that aggression. Close to 800 calories burned over the course of 90 minutes. Boo-Ya!

After the workout, I grabbed a quick shower and then we headed over to Luke and AC's for Pig Night. It's a good thing I had an extra long workout because I totally ATE at Pig Night. I mean, how could you NOT? Look at this shit! Can I get a YES PLEASE!

LOOK AWAY AMBER........LOOK AWAY NOW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!! YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE WHAT IS COMING NEXT!!!!!

Of course before we sat down to eat, there was much debauchery and merriment. Everyone (except me that is) shot rye and chased it with pickle juice, because that's just how The Pirate and AC roll. Observe:

I thanked the sweet baby Jesus for the GADO because I was the ONLY one excused from the PICKLE BACK shots! Dodged THAT bullet!

There were some people I knew well, some people I had only met recently and some people I had met just that night. It was a ton of fun and as usual, I took a ton of pics.

It was a great night and I didn't have to do a DAMN thing except show up and eat. MY kind of party!

And just for a little GADO update, I am doing SO GREAT!!! How is it that I can drink so much that I actually start to worry about myself and then when I decide to walk away from it, I don’t even MISS IT and I feel great to boot???? Must be that damn pendulum! I still seem to have some of those stubborn all-or-nothing tendencies. Yes folks, moderation is STILL something I’m struggling with. Moderation is the be-all, end-all goal for this chick. Forget the numbers on the scale, the presence or absence (ABSENCE!!!!) of a six-pack, this chick just wants to master moderation! Always a work in progress I suppose.

And just a quick update from Sol, all his guys are accounted for and safe. When I spoke with him earlier, he was almost certain he would know no one involved in the shooting. It's the biggest base in the nation with so many soldiers! Anyway, the base was all but shut down so he has some time on his hands which he will use talking to his soldiers, making sure they are ok, making sure morale is not totally shot, doing what he needs to do. That's my Sol, getting it done!

So I guess that's it for now. Happy Weekend Everyone!

2009-11-06T05:11:00.003-06:00

I'm not one to watch the news normally, but this is one of those huge stories that would have made it's way into my world even if I didn't have a dear friend involved. Before I even mention the story though, I want to make it clear that Sol is fine. And for those of you newcomers to the garden, Sol is my soldier pen pal who has become a very good friend of mine. You can read about our adventures here and here and here. I have supported him through several deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. I thought he was home and SAFE until hearing of this horrible story. Luckily, he is fine but he is exhausted after yesterday's ordeal. He called me last night to let me know when they were off lock down as he was waiting to exit the base and head home. Those poor soldiers had been stuck there with no food, away from their loved ones while their families waited in fear for hours and hours and everyone was trying to leave at once. I ache, really my chest just hurts that this happened. All of the soldiers who were killed or injured were at the last rally point before deployment; getting their last minute medical and dental treatments before shipping out. To think of them there, many of them young, deploying for the first time perhaps, already on edge and afraid, then to have this happen on base where they are supposed to be safe, it just makes me sick. So say a few prayers for all these soldiers and their poor frightened families today if you would. And send a big mental squeeze to Sol. Thank God he is safe.

Duuuuuuuuuude!

2009-11-05T08:19:00.003-06:00

Last night was tough.........all the way around......tough to actually get my ass to the gym........tough to push hard on the treadmill........even tougher still to get through my session with Mark........BUT I DID IT BITCHES! AND I FEEL GREAT! Sure, it sucked while I was at it and sure it totally kicked my ass sideways and had me sacked out before more elementary school children head to bed but I don't care. It just felt good to rock it out! I put in 30 minutes on the dreadmill walking 5 minutes then running 5 minutes then walking 5 minutes, etc. Then did some lifting with Mark followed by my beloved boxing workout. Because we lifted first, I didn't have the same Oompf to my punches that I have when we START with punching but it still felt great to throw a few his way. Afterwards, I had a light dinner then fought sleep for about an hour and turned in at 8:30 where I proceeded to sleep like the dead the entire night through.

This morning I woke feeling proud and the scale rewarded me with a nice 180.8! Getting SO close to getting back to those 170s!

In my attempts to knock my breakfasts back to a reasonable meal, I tried some new yogurt called Fage. My girl Jess recommended it to me and I have to say that I have found the packaging to be totally delightful. Maybe it doesn't take much to excite me folks, but check this shit out.......

First the container all by itself. It's Greek yogurt and has sort of a ricotta cheese like consistancy. Most of the options are plain or full fat but I found this peach flavored 2% option so I decided to try it.

The fruit is stored in this little side cubby which you can just lift up and squeeze to get the fruit out and it goes directly into the yogurt.

And to get every last drop of fruit out into the yogurt, the side cubby is wait for it.........wait for it.........SPOON SHAPED!!!!!! So you can get your spoon down in there and dig out every drop of flavor.

I topped it all off with 1/4 cup of grape nuts mixed with 1 tbsp of ground flax seed and 2 chopped slices of dried pear for a total of 5 points. Not too shabby AND it tastes good!

Is it just me, or is that some crazy great and clever packaging?

Rockin' it OUT!

2009-11-03T11:06:00.002-06:00

Last night after work, I went on a bit of a wild goose chase trying to track down a requested item to send to a random soldier serving overseas. I had to go to about 4 different places before I found the Vanilla flavored Skoal he had requested. I know.......gross, but who am I to judge what that kid wants. He's in the middle of a war zone, he's earned himself a coupla cans of chaw in my book.

When I got home, it was near dark and I was not feeling inspired. I was thisclose to skipping my workout when I heard a little voice in my ear...........just do it pussy, you'll feel so much better afterwards! I like to think that all those bloggity buggers out there who are KILLING IT right now (Kim, Scrumpy, Jess, Fat Daddy, Carlos.....etc) helped shove my ass out the door. So thanks, guys! It was a quick run, just over 2 miles hammered out in about 25 minutes but I ran the WHOLE way and it did indeed feel great. I felt rather Rocky like in my knit cap with my badass attitude! My braids were flying, feet were pounding, heart was pumping, sweat was flowing........girlfriend rocked it OUT!!!!!

I chased it with a dinner of fish and broccoli and patted myself on the back for a job well done.

I also counted up my points for the first time yesterday since starting WW about 3 weeks ago. I was stunned to discover that the breakfast I eat at least 4 times a week was worth a whopping 8 points!!!! Whoa! Damn you delicious peanut butter and your 5 frickin' points! Damn you straight to hell! So I'm revamping breakfast this week to get those points down and hope to see a nice drop on the scale by Sunday. (I weighed in at 181.5 this morning)

By the way, for anyone really paying attention, YES I was supposed to go knock the shit outta Mark last night but I discovered that I had ZERO training appointments on the books! WTF??? So I scheduled a bunch more and will have to wait until tomorrow and Friday to see him and get my anger out through the beauty of boxing.

That's about it for today folks. Thanks for popping round.

The Post in Which I Prove I’m NOT a Scaredy Cat!

2009-11-01T23:06:00.006-06:00

I hate being afraid of things and typically, I’m not scared of much, but as I’ve aged, a few more fears seem to creep in here and there. The one that has taken me most by surprise (because I’m quite certain I haven’t ALWAYS been this way) is my irrational fear of costumes which cover people’s faces, even the friendly kid themed ones. Like if Winnie the Pooh came up to me right now, I’m fairly certain that I would junk punch him and run screaming away before I realized what I was doing. I also hate life size statues that look like they could come alive any moment and grab you and we won’t even get into how much I hate Haunted Houses for that very same reason!!! Because I HATE being afraid of things.......because it makes me feel like a weak sissy girl (no offense Candice…..but seriously, one good shoe smack and you could have taken care of Larry quickly and easily all by yourself although I’m not quite sure any of us would have survived that with our hearing intact) I force myself to do the scary things anyway, just to prove that I CAN. (Ask the Captain about the loss of feeling he suffered in his arm during our one and only trip through a Haunted House sometime). So last night, when I went to a bar to watch part of the Vikes/Pack game with the geighbors and was confronted with a VERY spooky statue on display for Halloween, I HAD to prove my bravery by having my picture taken with it. Can you tell in this picture that I’m hollering through my clenched smile (HURRY UP AND TAKE IT, JUST TAKE THE PHOTO, FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE TAKE THE FREAKING PICTURE!!!!!)

You can? Oh. Ok. What gave it away? Was it my clenched fist or the fact that my teeth were clamped together to stifle my screams? Well anyway, I was very proud of myself for facing my fears. (Does it count if I literally ran past it on my way to the bathroom and did the heebee-jeebee dance afterwards? What a chicken...but SERIOUSLY....how creepy is that thing???!)

Anyway, besides the spooky statue incident, I had a blast at Shamrock’s with Cam and Randy. I WAY overate but hadn’t really had a splurge all week. I did get the naked chicken skewers instead of the fried but I also at some deep fried green beans AND French fries WITH sauce thankyouverymuch. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I chased it with a slice of pumpkin cheesecake which really just tasted like pumpkin pie to me but Holy Smokes was it good!

I chased it all with a shit ton of water and played sober cab home for my boys. Oh yeah AND The Vikings won if you care about that sort of thing which I don't.

Today I am very much looking forward to returning to the gym as an almost complete human being. While there are still slight traces of crud left in my lungs, I feel almost back to normal and I will be strapping on the gloves today and punching the ever loving shit out of Mark and I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!

I think it’s safe to say that Lucas is BACK folks! Back and kicking ass!

2009-11-01T10:57:00.004-06:00

Digging deep and finding some inspiration from the bloggosphere, I woke up this morning and laced up my sneaks. I hit the door and discovered a lovely fall morning. I figured I'd just go for a walk, maybe try a run and just see how it went. I had no major goals in mind. After a nice warm up, I decided to try and run for a bit to see how it felt. Folks, I was amazed. After such a long sit, I couldn't believe how great it felt to run again. I quit counting after about 6 blocks and I just ran and ran and ran. The cold morning air combined with the activity had me coughing up all kinds of crud and you can bet I hacked it all up. SEXY!!! But I gotta say, it felt good to clear my lungs. So there I am running and hacking and spitting and the next thing I knew, I'd put several miles behind me and found myself at the river. It felt freaking fantastic!

On the way back I took it a bit slower, walking some and running some and by the time I'd made it back home, I'd logged 5 miles and burned around 830 calories. What a great way to start my Sunday.

I skipped my morning weigh in this morning at weight watchers (SUE ME!!). I know I'm up a bit according to my home scale but I feel really good anyway. I've logged two solid weeks of eating healthy and not drinking or smoking. This coming week I'll be sticking to my allotted points and trying to pull the rest of this all together. I think I'm finally over this crud I've been down with. I saw my chiropractor on Friday and my masseuse on Saturday and that combined with the vitamin D I've been downing (thanks Jessifer!) I think have really done the trick.

And so this flower is off to a great start this week. I hope you all are too. And if you're not......WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR????? Get out there and kick some ass! That is all.

BOO! Bitches!

2009-10-31T22:59:00.004-05:00

Happy Halloween folks! As per usual, I was my sassy witchy self this year. I tried to take a self portrait but since I was using my little camera AND since I had on a tall witchy hat, this was the best shot I got..........sux!!!! But you get the idea.

This year I was without my usual goblet of red wine but still had a blast seeing all my favorite ghouls and goblins begging at my door for candy.

And since I bought candy I didn't like (nerds, laffy taffy, chewy sweet tarts) I didn't eat ANY of it!!! And later when I hung out with the neighbors, I only ate ONE mini Take 5 bar. A major success for Halloween in my book!

And below, the best shot of the night by far! LOVE these neighborhood kids. And best of all? Their parents have to deal with the sugar highs, I don't!

So, what did YOU do on All Hallow's Eve?????

2009-10-30T10:14:00.000-05:00

Lets talk about sex baby
Lets talk about you and me
Lets talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Lets talk about sex

Ok, this post isn’t really about sex but I got your attention, didn’t I? Actually this post is about nudity. Do I STILL have your attention? I thought so.

So here’s the deal folks, the flower feels good naked. With no waist bands for my spare tire to flop over, with no bra straps to cause obvious back fat (you girls know what I’m talking about) I actually like what is staring back at me from the mirror. But put clothes on me, and suddenly I’m feeling a bit like a sausage slipping out of her casing here and there. Clothes and the way they fit can either hide or showcase my flaws (or what I perceive to be my flaws anyway). Clothes and the way they fit can have me either prancing out the door or dissolving into a puddle on the floor. Clothes and the way they fit can pinch and bind and be a constant all day reminder of where I’m at and where I’d like to be. I never would have guessed that there would come a point where I feel sexier out of my clothes than I do in them, but I think I may be there.

And so I’m curious what you have to say about your clothes and the way they fit. What chu got for me peeps?

You Mean I Have to WORK???

2009-10-29T07:51:00.003-05:00

What? What do you mean I have to count points? You mean I CAN'T just join Weight Watchers, sit back and wait for the pounds to just magically slide off? DAMN! What kinda scam are those people running over there??????? JEEZ!

Since joining up on October 18th, I haven't been very diligent about counting my points people. I freely admit that. While I dumped 4 pounds the first week, I seem to be right back to my old habits of making healthy choices but just not tracking and I know exactly what that will get me. That will get me maintenance, NOT weight loss. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. It appears that I might just be INSANE people! And so, now that I am feeling a bit better (still not 100% well........when will this cough go AWAY????) but at least I'm up and about, off the couch, going to work, it's time to take some actual ACTION. Time to COUNT THE DAMN POINTS and stick to what I'm allowed.

CRAP!

Since I have no obligations or appointments tonight after work, I am making a date with myself to sit down like a good girl, and start mapping out my points, prepping my food ahead of time and actually weighing and measuring my portions. Sigh. I feel like such a child sometimes. But I committed to this and so I'm going to do it dammit!

My work out yesterday with Mark went well, again we took it REALLY slow and easy. It's HARD to hold back folks, I just want to go all turbo like I usually do. Mark even mentioned that it was hard for him to work me out so gently, he's not used to that at all with me but we both adjusted the best we could. I'm VERY mindfull of getting myself all the way well so I don't spend the next two months lingering between sickness and wellness like I did last year. That sucked!

Cappy is home and yesterday while I was at work, he whipped up a big batch of white chicken chili. It was the first time he made this for me and I LOVED it! It's basically just chicken, chicken broth (organic low sodium), beans, a little low fat cheese and spices. Pretty good for you! Of course I couldn't pass up the slice of cornbread to go with it but at least I didn't smear it with butter. I'll be figuring out how many points THAT is tonight, but last night I just enjoyed. Mmmmmmmmmmm, good!

And that's all for today folks. Thanks for stopping by the garden.

Welcome Newcomers!

2009-10-28T06:09:00.001-05:00

This post originally ran on July 13, 2009. I am re-running it because I am hoping to have some company over to my blog today. You see, I was asked to guest post on Fat Daddy's blog today (insert blushing and awww shucks here). So if any of his readers stop by to see what's up in the garden, this is pretty much what I want to say. Enjoy.

This blog isn't a weight loss blog. It's just a blog about my life. Currently, fitness and weight loss happen to be a big part of my life and so they are addressed often. I have struggled with my weight since my late 20's but was at my heaviest during my mid 30's. Working out has never been a regular part of my life until the past year or two. Since I never really had a moment, where everything clicked and I knew what I needed to do and where I needed to go, I never sat down and really mapped out my path. I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl.

Because my journey from fat to fit has evolved slowly overtime it never really occurred to me to take official progress pictures. I just never picked my head up and looked that far down the road. But for some time now, I've been wanting to document visually my progress so I went digging for some old photos. Finding photos of myself at my heaviest weight is not easy to do. I hid behind people for the most part and ALWAYS instructed people to shoot from the waist up but I did find some pics from my 10th wedding anniversary that give you a pretty good idea of where I was at.

So it is with a deep breath that I make these public (and this was before I had a digital camera so please bear with me because the photo quality is crappy.)

I'm not posting these pics so you guys can go crazy with the compliments and I am not even saying that I look bad in them, it just to give you an idea of where I was when I started. I love these photos because they represent a really amazing celebration of a truly cherished marriage, they remind me of an amazing night full of laughter and friendship and especially of love. But how I felt in my own skin then, I can't even tell you.

Underneath that size 18 dress, I was wrapped like a sausage in a girdle and slip that made it hard to breath. I felt happy, pretty but also really, really heavy and if you have struggled with your weight, you know those negative thoughts are never far from your mind, even on occasions where the focus is on much more important things, like re-committing yourself to your husband after 10 fabulous years of marriage, there is still that voice in the back of your mind telling yourself that you are not good enough, at least, that's how it was for me.

When I look at who I am today, what I have accomplished and how much I have learned in just the past few years, I am amazed. The Captain totally called it in yesterday's comments; if you would have asked either of us two years ago if I would be doing a mini-tri, we both would have fallen over. It just wasn't me. I love being able to say that now, it just IS me. It took me a while to get comfortable with it, but I AM that girl now. I AM the girl who loves to work out (that STILL amazes me) I AM the girl who is healthy and strong and NICE TO HERSELF! Good Lord people, the HOURS I used to spend on the self loathing negative inner dialogue; it would exhaust even the heartiest of folks.

I am happier and more confident now, I finally know myself inside and out (therapy has been a HUGE part of this transformation for me) and dare I say, I am becoming comfortable in my own skin. Dont' get me wrong, there is still PLENTY I struggle with (hello vino, my old friend) and I would still like to lose 15 more pounds and finally be able to do an unassisted pull up, but I know that I am on the right track. I am finding my way towards moderation and as the scale has proven for the past year, I am 100% capable of maintaining my current weight. Some days it's rough to see that 180 on the scale over and over and OVER again but I know my body has changed immensely. I have lost fat and gained muscle, strength and flexibility and those are all good things. And best of all, I am a healthy, healthy girl.

Completing my first mini-tri (oh YES, there WILL be more!) just feels like reaching a milestone of sorts even though I never even thought about doing one until about 8 weeks ago (seat of my pants, remember? I didn't even own a bike when I signed up for the tri but that's just how I roll). So, it seemed fitting to do a post about progress as I start thinking forward about my next challenge. My sister has invited me to do a half marathon with her on HER 40th birthday and I'm mulling that over. I'm also thinking about doing the MS 150 next summer or something along those lines. I want to continue to make activity and fitness a big part of my life. I want to be able to go and see and do as I get older.

I feel really good about myself these days and am looking forward to continuing on this path and striving to live a healthy life. I look forward to new challenges and experiences. Once again, I appreciate all your support and words of encouragement. The bloggosphere has really provided me with more inspiration than I ever could have imagined when I started this blog oh so many years ago. I have to just thank you again for everything. You guys totally rock my world!

And now, the story behind these pics. Long ago, I decided that every 10 years, the hubs and I should re-commit ourselves to each other. It's just a way of saying to each other and the rest of the world, "I still choose you. I still choose to be married to you, to go through this life with you. I still love you. You are still the one for me." It's also a way to have a bunch of different fun weddings.

Our first wedding was super traditional (except for the Keds I wore under my dress, that is!) For our 10th anniversary, we planned a trip to Vegas to do the whole cheesy Elvis thing. About a week before our trip, The Captain was involved in a low speed motorcycle crash (JANIS!) that left him with a broken ankle. Vegas in June is bad enough but add in a cast and crutches and I just didn't think the heat combined with the hobbled condition on my husband would make for an enjoyable experience so we scrapped the trip. Instead, I quickly started planning a back yard affair with a Vegas theme. Our friends TOTALLY rallied and provided food (peanut butter and banana sandwiches) and other treats (gin and tonic jello shots and TWO amazing cakes courtesy of AC, one of which read "Happiness is 10 years of Oral" in sugar letters. Lord, I LOVE that girl!). The Pirate and Tommy DJ'd for us, my girlfriends set up tiki torches, made rows of chairs and an aisle, decorated with white ribbon and tissue paper bells and my girl Jackie Torture made my bouquet from flowers picked from her garden. Our dear friend Tomkin who happens to be a minister, dressed up as Elvis and performed the ceremony along with a few songs from Elvis' catalog for us. It was so fucking fabulous I can't even tell you!!! We laughed until we cried as we slapped the summer mosquito's away and it was a really terrific evening.

It was just one of those nights I know I will never forget. Now, 5 years later, we still go back and watch the video from that night and reminisce over photos. In 5 more years we will have another wedding to plan. This time, we will be beach bound and saying I do in front of a glorious sunset....and you're ALL invited!

And just in case any newcomers DID stop by, this is where I'm at today.

Awwww Shucks!

2009-10-26T20:34:00.003-05:00

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again………….I have the greatest neighbors ever. Last week I was informed that one of my neighbors nominated me for a Community Service Award, which I was actually chosen to receive. Now, I get that probably everyone who gets nominated will win one, it’s not like there’s a ton of fierce competition or anything. I think the fact that I was the only one to get one this year has more to do with the fact that I was the only person submitted for the honor and less due to the fact that I am one rockin’ neighbor. That being said, I was still really touched, mostly that my neighbor took the time to send an email about me to the council. At first, I didn’t know who nominated me but eventually, she fessed up and so I was able to thank her. I also asked (dragged) her to the meeting last night where the awards were dolled out. We both felt a little foolish attending the meeting since we usually don’t go and we were only there for the awards, but it was a nice moment for us to share together. I got all warm and tingly inside. Awww, shucks! Thanks h!

In other news, I actually made it back to the gym last night! Mark was raring to go! (I think he missed me.) But when I impressed upon him how VERY sick I had been, he dialed it back a bit and we took it just really slow and easy. We stuck to arm weights with lots of rest time in between sets. I had trouble catching my breath even so, but I spent a good 25 minutes walking on the treadmill and it felt good just to be active again. I only burned 380 calories or so, compared to my usual 500-700 but it still was a workout and I was pleased. Today I’ll be going for a walk outdoors, getting some fresh air and getting my feet back on the pavement. I might try to run a block or two but I still have a ways to go before I really get my lungs back so we’ll just take it as it comes.

Still making good food choices and downing tons of water. It’s really easy not drinking right now and so far, I haven’t missed it at all. Have I mentioned that being sober rocks? As much as I love crawling in my cups, I also really enjoy my sobriety. I’m such the interesting contradiction, aren’t I? Anyway, that’s it for today……………but stick around folks, because tomorrow is going to be a bit of an exciting day here in the garden. I won’t tell you what’s going on just yet, but I’ll give you a little hint. Enjoy!

Four on the Floor

2009-10-25T12:22:00.003-05:00

Down 4 pounds even, folks. That was the story this morning at my weigh in. I actually expected a good loss given the amount of fat, salt and alcohol I had been throwing down my neck. Combining the first week of the GADO with illness, no appetite and an absurd amount of water consumption and 4 pounds seemed about right. I don't expect anywhere near that next week, but I am really pleased to see the GADO off to such a good start. Of course, it's easy to abstain from drinking when you are sick as a dog, but still, a clean start is a clean start, no?

Last night I actually ventured out for Taco Night at The Pirate and AC's. We had a little pre-cocktail hour at Cam and Randy's with h, but I stuck to water. (Unless you count the two doses of cough syrup with codeine that I took, which I totally DON'T!) I was just feeling bouncy and fun even though I was (and am) still totally tired. We walked through the damp night air to the Scooby Doo Mansion where Taco Night was taking place and I just kept thinking how happy I was to be out of the house. I hate being sick! Don't you?

That AC can cook and I mean, REALLY! These were no ordinary tacos. She made some AMAZING shredded chicken in mole sauce, some shredded beef and pork too but that chicken just blew my mind!

I had one serving with one tortilla, a sprinkling of cheese a dollop of sour cream and a handful of hearty wheat tortilla chips.

It was an awesome treat and I stuck to a completely reasonable portion even though I probably could have eaten a shit-ton of that chicken!

And given that AC is kind of a freak, these were also on the table. (Read the note she put next to them!)

Giant pink and white marshmallows. Why? Because they were in the Hispanic foods aisle at the market. Cammy and I tried a pink one and I decided it tasted like Strawberry Quick. It was fun to sit and talk and laugh with some neighbors, but I kept it an early night since I'm still not 100%. I had two diet cokes and headed home around 10:00pm. Yay for me!

Tomorrow I head back to work and afterwards, I'm heading to the gym. I haven't worked out with Mark in absolute AGES and we will be taking it easy but I am really excited to get back at it. Once I get my lungs back I can start running again and officially start training for my 10K. That's about it for today folks. This flower is starting to perk up again......now if only the sun would come out!

Turning the Corner

2009-10-23T12:02:00.003-05:00

Thank the Dear Sweet Baby Jesus I think I've turned the corner. Due to a lingering fever last night, I decided to stay home AGAIN today and while I am still coughing, sneezing and wheezing, I actually feel less like death warmed over today. Hallelujah! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I actually ATE last night. It was h's birthday and as has become tradition, we headed out to Buca for a big dinner with The Pirate, AC and h's dad and stepmom. I felt like hell but really wanted to rally for my girl h. (Picture me at the table, with a stack of napkins next to me, hand sanitizer at the ready, wrapped in a cozy sweater with my coat tucked around me, red nose, tired eyes and a weak but happy smile on my face and you get the idea.) It was great to be gathered around the table, celebrating the fact that she was born and watching her smile surrounded by her loved ones. I was really happy seeing that light radiate from her. She looked really happy. And when the pasta came out, I'm not gonna lie, I dug in. I ate a nice portion of pasta carbonara plus one piece of bruschetta. I skipped the rest of the dishes and only at a few bites of dessert. It didn't seem to do much damage as I weighed in at an even 181.0 this morning. Of course, the 9 gallons of water I drank yesterday didn't hurt either. But I am back to watching my points today.

And I sit here holding down the couch for what seems like the billionth day in a row, I am watching big fat snowflakes fall outside my window. I'm tucked in cozy at home, kitty snoring softly behind me, tissues at my side, plenty of drugs in my system, fever no where in sight, resting, resting, resting and really looking forward to tomorrow. Now everyone raise your cups of hot tea with me and toast to healthier days! Cheers!

2009-10-22T09:14:00.002-05:00

Still trying to shake this crud but hanging in there. Up 6 oz. today but that makes a lot of sense since all the drugs I've been taking have been messing with my system. My body is a bit out of whack right now but I'm hoping I'm on the upswing. If I can get through the day without a fever I'll know I'm on the mend for sure. My brain is in a bit of a fog but I may try to actually leave the house today just to get some fresh air in my struggling lungs.

In the meantime, it's been ridiculously easy adapting to the GADO since I've been so sick so I'm on day 6 and not even thinking about missing my wine. Still making the good food choices and downing my water. As soon as I can kick the exercise back in, I expect to see some real progress.

The Captain has been taking excellent care of me despite not feeling well himself. I am one well tended flower, I can tell you that. And once I shake this mess, I am hoping that things will get a little bit more interesting around the garden. Thanks for hanging in there folks.

Ailing But Not Wailing

2009-10-21T10:00:00.003-05:00

That's right folks, this flower is seriously wilted. But I refuse to fall over! So while I sit here coughing and wheezing with various fluids flying out of various orifices, I am staying on track dammit! Ok, there WAS a bagel for dinner last night but I am staying well within my Weight Watchers points. Are my food choices the best USE of my points? No. But I give myself some credit for not crawling Kleenex first into a giant vat of mac and cheese. And by the way, I was down another 4 oz. this morning for a solid 181.0 pounds. Three cheers for Lucas!

I dragged myself to the doctor this morning not because I am one of those alarmist freaks but because several of the women I work with have had children positively diagnosed with H1N1. When I got there, I noticed a sign in the lobby that said, "If you have a cough or flu like symptoms please put on a mask." Oh dear Lord. Squelch cough. Must not cough. Do not want to wear mask and look like freak in waiting room. Must hold it in. Oh Crap. Feel cough coming on. Mind over matter! WILL not cough. And then the receptionist who was checking me in said to me, "Do you have a cough?" and I just looked at her and gulped. In a small voice I said, "Um, a little one?" at which point the nurse called my name from the doorway. Oh sweet salvation! And I was hustled away to see the doc without the embarrassing horror of having to sit in the waiting room looking like a carrier of the plague.

Good news folks. I'm 40 bucks poorer but I've been officially cleared of any Swine like flu's. I'll take that piece of mind and go have another nap thankyouverymuch. So I'm thinking one more day in bed and I'll have my stems back under me again. Looks like my 8 week training program which I shortened to 6 weeks to accommodate Chicago and The Captain's birthday is being shortened to 5 weeks. That 10K is looming and I need to get rocking. Until I can, I'll be resting.

I Will NOT Be Derailed!!!!

2009-10-20T13:49:00.002-05:00

What do 3 days of sobriety, two days of healthy eating and one day of working out get a flower? SICK! That's what. Yes, I've been hit with some kind of crud, but even though I had to cancel my trainer yesterday, I will NOT be derailed! I have continued to make good choices which is impressive because illness usually has be running straight for the carbs. As bad as I felt this morning, I still weighed in...............181.2 bitches! YEAH! I don't know what kind of evil germs are currently residing in my body, a fever seems to be coming and going. I'm downing cough syrup, water and juice with diet 7-up. The only good thing about all of this is that I've heard it moves through fairly quickly. We'll see.

In other news, I just have to mention that I have the greatest neighbors on the planet. One of those sweet people nominated me for the 2009 Lex-Ham Community Service Award and I won one of them. I'm sure they give out a bunch, but I bet I'm the only one on our block that is getting one. It's just such a NICE thing to do, I think. I mean, who takes the time to fill out a nomination like that? I'm just amazed and I have no idea which one of those folks did it, either. But I want to thank each and every one of them just for being who they are. I live on the best block EVAH!!! (Since writing that paragaraph I learned that my girl AC nominated me last year but no dice and that my girl h nominated me this year. Shucks and Jeez, girls! I'm all warm and mushy inside! Of course, that could be the fever!)

GADO.......I'm gonna kick your ASS!!!!!

2009-10-19T08:01:00.001-05:00

Hmmmmmmm. Let’s see here. How long has it been since Little Miss Lucas has written a weight loss post? How long since you heard her mention a workout? Yeah. It’s been a while folks. And if you’ve been hanging around the garden a while, you know that when I stop talking about things, it’s a BAD sign. It means I’m slacking off. It means I’m hiding things. This little flower has been ALL ABOUT the party lately people and my body is reacting, as it has every right to. I won’t go into details about what is happening where on my body but you can just insert a bunch of insecure body-image crap right here and call it a day.

The other day Carlos posted about getting a new plan and starting again. He decided it was best for him to ignore the weight he’s already lost (which is 80+ pounds, NUTTIN’ to sneeze at!) and start back at zero. He took himself back to Day One, ignoring his previous progress and starting from scratch. HARSH, right? But, that’s typical Carlos. We both like to wear the gloves and swing hard at ourselves.…..oh I’m getting better but still…..my own harshest critic. But it got me thinking about setting myself back to zero. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I’ve been resting on 40 pounds of laurel for a very, VERY long time. Now, I won’t discredit how far I’ve come. I’ve put in some SOLID work, learned some GREAT skills and I definitely do NOT feel like I’m starting over, but I’ve started this final push SO MANY times that is does feel like I’m spinning my wheels a bit.

So taking Carlos’ lead, I’m starting over. Going back to zero. To quote him, “It's day
one. I've lost nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. My starting weight 187 . My new goal is to get to 165lbs.” (Except those numbers are mine, not his.)

I stand here at ground zero, forgetting the past and only looking forward. I really wanted to re-join LA Weight Loss, but it appears they have blown town and taken their toys with them. Sigh. But I need a PLAN. Spark People can blow me, I’m not counting calories again. You remember how much I LOVED that, right? I am NOT a Weight Watchers girl. HATE the meetings but that seems to be the option that will work the best for me right now and so back to WW I go! I just am really feeling the need for some structure right now and I'm going to go with that. I got the 17 week plan just to get me where I'm feeling stronger and more in control and we'll see where I'm at then.

So Sunday, I did the following:
1. Bought new Saucony's.
2. Joined Weight Watchers. (more about that below)
3. Put in my first workout in close to 2 weeks (a 3 mile walk in the brisk sunshine!)
4. Went to the grocery store and stocked up on the good stuff.
5. Prepared breakfast AND lunch for the entire week. Steel cut oats oatmeal with dried fruit for bfast (thanks to Cappy and his crock pot magic) and a variety of salads for lunch.
6. Packed my gym bag for my training session with Mark today.
7. Threw close to 3 litres of water down my neck.

You can't say I'm not prepared.

I feel ready and it's a good thing too because that weigh in was BRUTAL! 187. Shit. Seriously? I mean, I knew I was gaining, felt it, but 10 pounds? 10 M-effing pounds? Shit like that will shake a girl up. Knock her around a little, make her give herself a serious smack on the backside. Woke my ass up, that's fo sho! But on the bright side, it could have been 197 or 207 or even 217, right? Right! When I weighed in this morning at home I was 184.8 so the new small goal is to get to the 170's again. Totally doable. And so the brakes are on, and this flower is ready to kick ass again.

And so the GADO has begun. I'm 3 days dry folks and I feel really good about the whole thing!

Four and Five

2009-10-17T12:53:00.008-05:00

You know, it was a little late getting started, but when it started, it REALLY started. We had friends both old and new, we had neighbors, we had co-workers. It was awesome. Of course we had plenty of food, drink, laughter conversation and one more thing..........

pictures! Lots and lots of pictures.

You know it's a party when you find beer bottles in your bathroom trash can!
It never got completely out of hand, but there was some breakage of some items, some spilling on floors, some falling down and I'm sure there are plenty of hangovers to go around today so I'd call that a success! Wouldn't you?

This morning, greasy breakfast was SO in order so we took Scotty right down the street to The Neighborhood Cafe where they serve up standard fare super quick!

It went down goooooood and afterwards since the sun was shining, we did the unthinkable and crossed the Mississippi River and went to...................MINNEAPOLIS! Yikes! I hope we can get back into Saint Paul after this! We took Scott to the most famous sculpture we have around these parts and I didn't realize it, but it was The Captains first time there too! I always forget that I've seen so much more of The Cities, and of the state for that matter, than he has. Oh yeah. I've been ALL OVER this bitch!

And the leaves are just POPPING right now. The bluffs are just spectacular to look at. This might be THE weekend for leaves. Incredible.

Afterwards, we got Fish off to the airport with hugs, thanks and promises of doing this again soon. It was amazing to have him come and visit and I am one grateful flower! And now, the couch is calling and I have a fridge full of leftovers to eat. See you later peeps!